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Now that is a revolution in military affairs.  Picture courtesy of fugly.com.

Today we got an e-mail that asked “who’s paying you to crank this [expletive] out, the CIA?”  Well, no.  As far as I know, the CIA doesn’t offer grants for superhero novels, even kickass ones with accountants and mutant alligators from Homeland Security.  In fact, judging by my ramen account, it looks like no one is paying us to write this novel.

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Hint: the Iraqi connection.

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Picture taken from one of the Marvel Civil War comics. #1, I think.

This isn’t government-sponsored national service, but I think that twelve stitches and a hell of a lot of ass-kicking earn the tag.

A Tulsa newspaper reports that a Batman imposter walked into a grocery store and unsuccessfully tried to open fire. Then an airline mechanic tackled him from behind. Several minutes of unrelenting pounding ensued.

A poster from Edmonton, my favorite Canadian city, notices that the new Wolverine trailer has Wolverine in an American military uniform. Assuming this isn’t just a Hollywood gaffe, Marvel is probably rewriting Wolverine as an American rather than a Canadian.

This isn’t as annoying as Superman’s motto getting changed to “truth, justice and the American way all that stuff” or the inseparably American GI Joe getting turned into international peacekeepers, but Canada still deserves better than this.

I found this list of Navy slang pretty funny. Here are some choice Navy phrases…

• Bullet Sponge: U.S. Marine.
• Cleaning Stations: Hour-long field day evolution where everyone drops what they’re doing and cleans their spaces. See “XO’s Happy Hour.”
• Corpsman Candy: Sore-throat lozenges handed out at sick bay in lieu of any substantive treatment. Sometimes accompanied by two aspirin.

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FIRST COMIC — NEXT COMIC

FIRST COMIC — NEXT COMIC

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In Article 1, Section 8, the Constitution lists Congress’ authority to establish copyright protection for authors before its authority to declare war or raise an army, but after its power to establish a post office. Go figure!

Picture courtesy of the US War Dogs Association.

“Truth is the glue that holds government together.” — Gerald Ford

“If you want to live under something held together by glue, you probably wouldn’t make much of an architect.” — Mike, Director of the Office of Special Investigation’s RETCON branch.

Dr. Darpa: I heard that Russia is now patrolling its nuclear-armed bombers 24 hours a day now.

Captain Carnage: That’s right.

Dr. Darpa: That could destabilize US-Russian relations, if we thought there were any conceivable chance Russian bombers could get close enough to attack Chicago or Seattle.

Captain Carnage: I’d say at least 50%.

Dr. Darpa: 50%, hah! Not after you see what I’ve been working on: Project Unmutually Assured Destruction. It’s the largest surface-to-air missile site ever built. It was so colossal that I could only fit it in Yosemite National Park.

Captain Carnage: An antiballistic missile site in a national park?

Dr. Darpa: Now, the only remaining task is to name it. I present to you: the Yosemite SAM Site.

This is an excerpt from an interesting article on college.

I assigned a research paper. This time around, the students were to elucidate the positions of scholars on two sides of a historical controversy. Why did Truman remove MacArthur? Did the United States covertly support the construction of the Berlin Wall? Their job in the paper, as I explained it, was to take my arm and introduce me as a stranger to scholars A, B, and C, who stood on one side of the issue, and to scholars D, E, and F, who were firmly on the other—as though they were hosting a party.

A future state trooper snorted. “Some party,” he said.

Is there any other way to explain “Operation Enforcing the Law“?

Hat tip to Fark.com .

This article looks at some rough drafts of Superhero Nation t-shirts and some of the marketing and business considerations of selling your own apparel.

For our first t-shirt version (the expensive one), I assembled a few cast-members on the front and a few funny quotes on the back. It’s a nice shirt, especially if you like the way our characters look, but I suspect that we will have pricing problems.

To see this image full-size, please click here.

Pricing, Marketing and Aesthetics

Currently, we’re looking at a reasonably high price of $20 $15 for this shirt. By selling on Zazzle, we have taken $5 off the price-tag (compared to CafePress). Have I mentioned that Zazzle’s design features are considerably better and more flexible?

We are also working on a cheaper, $10 alternative. I think it’ll look something like this one-sided shirt.

Theoretically, we could take prices even lower by cutting down the number of colors and printing/selling them ourselves. I doubt we have the time, money and salesmanship to make that work, though. As time allows, I will try to provide a rough business model for two different sets of entrepreneurs: those that sell goods through third-party vendors like CafePress, and those that actually invest money and try to distribute the goods themselves.

T-Shirt #3

The next one is a parody of the US Navy’s Accelerate Your Life slogan, brought to you by the conspicuously high-mortality Office of Special Investigations.

Finals is really putting a hurt on us, but within a week or two you will be able to buy the final versions of these drafts at our Zazzle store.

Web Gumbo provides a great picture of his unit mascot. You might wonder what a Marine mascot does. Deliver pep talks? Rally the fans? Please.

Agent Orange, our mutated alligator, says that “it’s not surprising that they turned to an alligator when they needed someone to scare and bond with Marines. Here you can see the gator playing Marco Polo with a Marine that is obviously enjoying the gator’s friendly and sociable company.”

Lash retorts retorts that “if the guy’s actually enjoying anything, it’s probably the thought that he will soon not be dangling over a watery grave.”

Hey! I’ve revised and updated Agent Orange’s quotes. (You can see the old one here, but it’s harder to read and the quotes are worse). Enjoy.

The Defense Department reports that the US Navy successfully hit a dying US satellite with a missile.  I’m, uhh, not thrilled that we’re spending (sixty million) tax dollars to shoot down our own satellites, but at least we didn’t miss.  Heh.

 A Time article had the following correction. 

An article on Thursday about John McCain’s relationship with his children misstated, in some editions, the site of a graduation ceremony for Mr. McCain’s son Jimmy, which was attended by several siblings. Jimmy McCain graduated from Marine boot camp; there is no Marine Academy.

“There is no Marine Academy.” Yeah, Time. Any college football fan could tell you Marines play for the Naval Academy, one of an elite group of nine teams that beat Notre Dame this year.

I’ll chalk this up to a crucial misalignment of football fans, rather than a “I-hope-someone-at-Time-knows-military-stuff.”

And, just in case anyone at Time’s Human Resources Department is reading (wink wink), I know the difference between Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada and a Hawaiian death-threat.

From the Cynic’s Guide to CIA Language:

“High confidence.” Translation: “We may actually know this, but we’ve spent too much to reveal our methods.”

“Moderate to high confidence.” Translation: “Your guess is as good as ours.”

“Moderate confidence.” Translation: “We have absolutely no idea.”

BMac adds:

“Similar to the assessments of French and German intelligence services.” Translation: “intelligence failure”

“Top secret.” Translation: Likely to make it to noon without being published in the New York Times.

“CIA Secret Agent.” Translation: “Vanity Fair covergirl.”