Apr 18 2009
Today, I came across a self-published book called Superhumans.
Here’s what it says on the back-cover:
Seth, a college student, is accidentally exposed to an experiment that gives him incredible powers. When he and his friend, Chip, try to unravel its secrets, they discover a threat to the world unlike any other. And soon, Seth will find himself faced with one obstacle after another as he tries to live a normal life with the woman he lives and their daughter.
I’ve posted the first page below the jump. If you’d like a writing exercise today, please rewrite the first two paragraphs of the chapter so that they’re interesting.
Okay, what do you think? How would you have improved this book?
I have a few concerns about this book. First, the description on the backcover is so bland that it could apply to pretty much any superhero story. The first page isn’t bad, but it gets bogged down in demographic details almost immediately. Additionally, the author tells us details that need to be shown (“Cross was expected by many to be a shining star in the field”).
But the main problem is that the first page is boring. How would you solve that? My challenge for you is to rewrite the first two paragraphs so that they’re gripping. Good luck!