Dec 30 2007
List of Superpowers
Generic Physical Superpowers
- Superstrength
- Speed
- Durability
- Agility/reflexes
- Healing/regeneration
- Supersenses
- Sight/hearing/smell/taste/touch
- Sensing danger (spider-sense)
- Sensing other types of events (dishonesty, murder, etc.)
- The ability to remove senses (like inflicting blindness, etc.)
- Longevity/immortality
Forms of Transportation
- Climbing/wall-crawling
- Swimming/water-breathing
- Flight
- Teleportation
Time-Based Abilities
- Temporal manipulation (like The Matrix)
- Time travel
- Prophecy
Elemental Control/Manipulation
- Basic elements (fire, electricity, water, earth, wind)
- Light and/or darkness
- Gravity
- Magnetic forces
- Radiation
- Energy
- Sound
- Nature
Generic Mental Abilities
- Skills and/or knowledge
- Popular categories: science, mechanical, computer/electronics, weapons-handling/military, driving, occult/magical.
- Super-intelligence
- Resourcefulness (“I’m never more than a carton of baking soda away from a doomsday device”)
Psychic Superpowers
- Telekinesis (moving objects mentally)
- Telepathy (reading minds)
- Mind-to-mind communication
- Mind-control
- Possession (total mental control)
- Memory manipulation (may include creation/alteration/deletion)
- Mentally generated weaponry
- Mindblast
- Ability to locate someone mentally
- Forcefields
- “Psychometry”–the ability to learn things about the past or future of an object by touching it
Biological Control
- Acid/poison
- Controlling plants and/or animals
- Shapeshifting (animals).
- Shapeshifting (people)–mainly useful for disguises/stealth.
Miscellaneous Talents
- Elasticity
- Self-destruction
- Self-liquification
- Gaseous form
- Growth/shrinking
- Self-duplication
- Invisibility
- Absorbing someone else’s powers
- Negating someone else’s powers
- Luck manipulation (good luck for hero and/or bad luck for enemies)
- Illusions
- Pocket space–the ability to hold and remove objects so that only the user can retrieve them. It could be used for carrying really heavy equipment, hiding valuable and/or stolen and/or highly explosive goods, concealing weapons, smuggling candy into movie theaters, etc.
If this list helped you, please see our list of superhero writing articles, particularly How to Write Extraordinary Superpowers, How to Distinguish Your Character’s Superpowers and Writing Fresh Superpowers.
Thanks! Can you add more unique superhero abilities that are not common to other heroes? I’m making my own superhero story, but I have no idea what abilities to give my superhero. I need a unique power for my main character. Your website has helped helped me a lot with some of my other characters. Thanks a lot!
You could try altering these powers by changing their scope in some crazy way. For example, in Read or Die!, the main character has telekinesis that applies only to paper. Magneto has telekinesis that only works on metal.
If you take a generic power and only allow the superhero to use it on some random category of material, that could probably create a fresh-feeling character.
What do you think about a villain that has the power from the movie Jumper but can only jump through shadows?
Ok. I’m writing a character that has been genetically engineered by a government research program. I’m just having trouble coming up with some powers.
My character has a mental blast type ability, and I have chosen a few weaknesses to go with it. If he uses his ability once or twice, he suffers no effects. However, if he uses it many times/builds up a big blast/uses it for a prolonged period, he gets these in this order: dehydration, dizziness, migraines, exhaustion, aching joints and if he really overdoes it, he could pass out. If he gets to the stage where his joints ache, he will wake up the following morning feeling sick to his stomach and so be unable (or at least reluctant) to go out and kick bad-guy butt.
Could you offer an opinion on his weaknesses? Are there any alternatives to them that would be better, or might be more mental than physical? I can’t really have him going insane because of his pyscho-blasts, but I need something which would hurt or make him grumpy.
Also, I asked about a title on “Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part 7)”. Is there some word which would be a good alternative to “origins”? I have a question about costume, too, but I’ll ask that on “9 Easy-to-Fix Problems with Superhero Design”.
Thanks!
So it sounds like you have a fatigue parameter– the limit on his powers is how much energy he has. I think that’s interesting, especially if you have a fight where he’s mostly out of juice and has to improvise.
As for mental weaknesses, you’re right that it’s typically not viable to have the main hero go crazy (like the Hulk or Nikki). You could try something like amnesia– when he overuses his powers, his brain tries to make room by deleting memories. Depending on what mood you’d like to build, you could make the memory-deletion either temporary or permanent. Just don’t let the story lean too much towards emo angst (“life’s so hard for me, boohoohoo”).
If you go with the amnesia angle, I’d recommend trying to focus on him trying to live his life despite sometimes forgetting important details (“what time was my date with Mary?” or “Who is Mary?”). For added drama, you might consider how amnesia would affect his ability to keep his alternate-identity secret. I think friends and family would ask a lot of questions if someone who had been young and healthy started to exhibit serious memory-lapses.
Another approach you could try is how much concentration is required for him to use his powers. I imagine that one of his weaknesses would be that he’d have to concentrate greatly to use his powers. That would be a weakness because he might start “missing” with his powers, or having accidents if he was too distracted by, say, the stress of combat, lack of sleep, stressful incidents that had happened recently, loud noises, etc. I’d recommend seeing this article on unique weaknesses for superheroes.
Yours.
J.M.
What’s a good weakness for someone with super speed?
Superfast heroes rely on good footing and would probably need a lot of space to do things like turns. (For a real-life analogy, drivers take turns slowly). The villain could take advantage of that by building his lair so that there’s relatively little room for someone to dodge bullets and lasers. He could also make the floor slippery, so that the hero will lose his footing.
If you’d like to get more technical, speedy heroes would create a tremendous amount of friction when they ran. Friction creates heat with the ground. The villain might slick the floor with flammable oil so that the hero would set himself or bystanders on fire if he moved too quickly. If your villain is very technically savvy, he could play around with gravity. It’s extremely difficult to move around in a no-gravity environment and a high-gravity environment would also be very tricky.
Finally, you could look at what the hero is actually able to do when he’s superfast. For example, what he could he do against someone in a suit of armor? Probably not that much. If he tries punching the armor, he’s more likely to injure himself than his enemy. Generally, a superfast hero is only powerful when the enemy has exposed vulnerabilities. The villain should try to remove any vulnerabilities he has, probably with armor or something similar. Then the hero has to improvise, which could be interesting and dramatic.
I’m writing a story about a superhero that can fly. He is superstrong, superfast and can shoot lightning from his body. He and his brother got his powers from a crashed meteor. What are some weaknesses I could use for him?
There’s something about Spiderman that annoys me. He’s all “with great power comes great responsibility”, but whenever someone directly threatens his family, he doesn’t care! In Spidey 3 when he’s battling the Sandman and thinks he’s killed him, since when does that become acceptable? I mean, it’s a human life, isn’t it? And he just kills him! Also, straight after he sees his Uncle Ben die, he goes after the man who he thinks has shot him and scares him so much that he falls out a window. He doesn’t even seem bothered by it later!
As soon as Adrian made it far enough, he would be infused with an aquatic alien’s DNA, giving him an aquatic form, control over water, and in his aquatic form he can create ample amounts of water from his lungs and pores. He can also breath underwater and swim excellently in his aquatic form. In additon, he can sense clean water and humidity in the air. His body can also filter salt water into clean water. I’m still wish-washy over giving him advanced powers like liquifaction and aquaportation. Up until getting genetically altered, he uses technology to have control over water, upon getting him new DNA he is forced to give up the tech.
Weaknesses:
When in human form, he can only control water when properly hydrated and even then he can’t control vast amounts or perform very skillful acts with it. At first, he has poor control over transformation, often partially changing when inconvenient or not being able to change when needed. He often sweats profusely (like me) and/or his body leaks. He can only control particularly clean freshwater and salt water. It is difficult for his body to produce water, so he often looks for external sources. His powers are also greatly affected by the Moon, strongest during Full Moon time including daytime, no powers during New Moon, his powers are pretty constant on the in-between phases.
Of course, I’ll have to rework his origin story, but that will be relatively simple to do.
Suggestions? Opinions?
Liquifaction (the ability to turn into a liquid) sounds workable, although it kind of depends on what sort of villains you have in mind. If his villains could hit him when he was watery, that’d probably be fine. If it’s essentially a get out of danger free card, I think it would be undramatic. Likewise, I recommend against “aquaportation.”
Being affected by the moon is a nifty idea (kind of like tides how are affected by the moon?) but it may be hard for readers to remember which phase of the moon corresponds to which effect. Also, it might be hard for remembers to determine/remember which phase of the moon the story is in. I suspect that Adrian will frequently narrate details like “Oh no! Not the New Moon again!” However, I love that his powers don’t work during the New Moon. Time to improvise!
I suggest you watch Avatar. If you have watched Avatar, watch it again. Pay close attention to the waterbenders. Also, I’m glad you settled on a definitive story. Once you have everything set up, I look forward to an Alex vs. Adrian type-as-you-go rpg battle. (haha, they both have “a” names.) You powers setup looks pretty solid. However, I would reccommend a side-affect to them being genetically altered (Scientifically speaking, there should be consequences. Stylistically speaking, it’s a good idea. Practically speaking, your hero needs a weakness). Also, ringtails aren’t associated with water, so I’d reccommend another animal. A good idea would be an Osprey. It’s powerful, water-associated, and yet not totally useless outside of water like, say, a dolphin or killer whale. Good luck!
For my story, I want my characters who have powers to get drained by them. IE, the stronger powers is like the equivalent of running a mile, the lessers are like a short sprint. That keeps even the stronger characters in a check as not being ultimate.
Now, I read in other articles that “immortality” is looked down upon. Well, in my story there are is a parallel world next to ours. In that world, there are 2 races of superbeings (well, super to humans anyways). They can only be killed in one way, but I’m still thinking on ideas of what way that should be, so any ideas would be nice. They do age at a slower pace than humans, but age nonetheless in their world. One of the races was banished from the world and live in the human world in hiding. They then stopped aging on our plane.
I want their main weakness to be the one way they can get killed. But, I do want them to be able to be weakened in battle by using their powers so they can’t always rely on them. Thanks for the input!
Ok, a fatigue parameter is usually an effective weakness, so that’s good. My main concern, is that the two races of superbeings seem like Homo-Superiors, which could be problematic later on. To balance this you should probably change an aspect of the two races to be more humanly relatable.
As for a main weakness for your races, I would recommend something that doesn’t completely cripple your character i.e. Kryptonite is to Superman as water is to fire. Maybe, their powers work on a time and/or fatigue basis, if they overuse their powers or use them for too long they become powerless mortals temporarily, making them vunerable. I’m guessing this is more of a sci-fi story, but I’m not sure, maybe some form of technology is their weakness. Conversely, if this is a fantasy story maybe a certain type of magic is their weakness.
I may be able to help you more if you elaborate on the discrepancies between the races.
Okay, well. One race is called the Pyrians, tentatively for now. They are a spartan-like race. Predominately war bound people. As a whole, they’re an unlikeable race and that’s the way I want it. There are a few characters who play major roles but aren’t like the other Pyrians. The king is the main “villain” in my story. He is set on dominating Earth so that he can stop aging. He’s very vain, not to mention he’s power hungry and wants to be the ultimate power. (If he stops aging, he can be king forever).
The “wanderers” again, tentatively named, are the other race. They’re a more peaceful, close to human race since they’ve lived among humans for a hundred years or so. My main characters are from this race. They were banished from the other world by the Pyrians in a war a long time ago. Since the Pyrians are more battle-oriented, they had the upper hand in battle, but the wanderers have the ability to teleport between the two worlds. Pyrians can’t.
My MC is a Pyrian/wanderer hybrid. She was raised by her wanderer mother on Earth so she feels more inclined to the humans and Earth. I still have to work out her story line as far as that goes, but I plan on her knowing fairly early about who her dad is.
it’s totally fantasy, no sci-fi elements to it. I think I have the main points of the races down.
Thanks for the comments! Definitely something to think about.
Ok, I saw your posts, I agree there are many weaknesses, but the ones you said ought to work perfectly. What I didn’t explain was that each mentor is the alien that their student will, possibly, become. For example, Jimelly (formerly Jiminy, get it “Timilly”) is an aquatic alien, thusly he will infuse his student that make it far enough with his own DNA. So Adrian will become the same race as Jimelly so he can be taught about that alien’s abilities. Each mentor is a different type of alien, so that’s how there is power diversity. It will definitely be a sci-fi story, I just used mage as an example name.
As for the part-time dragon problems, This is worked out because he really can’t do much or go along with the story as a human, so his need for morphing into aquatic form is justified. There will be time where it may be convenient, though, like if was surrounded by a gang or need to swim across a pond to get somewhere.
I had an idea for a character, sort of based on a “balance” idea. Her right hand heals but her left hand withers/injures (I’m not really sure how to describe it). The idea is that she can’t use her healing on herself (so, no regeneration) because it’s always counterbalanced by her other powers. And these powers are always “switched on”, so if she grabs hold of somebody with her left hand she could seriously hurt them or even kill them if she held on for long enough – except the person was also in contact with her right hand, which goes back to the whole balance thingy.
To mix things up slightly, I was thinking of making it so she’s left-handed, and therefore whenever she automatically goes to touch somebody or do something with her left hand she has to check herself and make sure she’s not going to cause injury.
I can’t really think of any other limits/problems to this apart from exhaustion, but that’s a pretty abvious one. Is this enough, or do I need to come up with some? Any suggestions?
When you say her right hand hurts people, how do you mean? Does it drain them, poision them, weaken them or just cause them pain until they die?
I essentially like the power, the balance idea is very fresh. She has no control over her powers, so that would hurt you or. Do her powers come with a side-effect and can they be controlled/halted by wearing gloves. Can her destructive or healing powers be manifested into anything, like a ball oh healing energy?
I think a good factor that she has is that she is essentially human with a superboost, this could lots of improvised scenes where she has to think on her feet, but this can also be bad, what if the villian is cross town and she doesn’t have any mode of super transportation to get to him?
As for her left-handedness, this could be problematic because people aren’t usually checking themselves for what hand they are using when they, say, pat their friend on the back or are playing a game with friends. So even though she is cautious, I doubt she would realize every time she is about to use her left hand.
You raise some very good points. I was thinking that her powers could be controlled by wearing gloves, because otherwise I could see her developing into this angsty character who says “woe!” a lot. Organic material only.
I’m still not sure about the left hand, but the idea is in general that it hurts (uh, yeah >>;).
Also, the idea I have in my head places her as part of a team.
Draining has potential, because that could give her a boost by stealing their energy and ultimately make her feel stronger. I detect potential angst, though. The idea i had in mind was sort of like aging – I suppose weakening with an unhealthy dose of pain for good measure would be the best thing. And easy to describe.
I didn’t want her powers to be used without touch – so no healing-ball-of-energy, no destructive-blast. On the other hand, she was supposed to fill a semi-support role so I don’t think this is a massive problem.
Your point about the villain on the other side of town is a good one, but that’s part of the fun/challenge.
Good point about the left-handedness. I may leave that out – or even make her ambidextrous, lol.
Oh, okay if she’s part of a team I’m sure someone can give her a ride. Maybe you could make her “bad” hand controllable to an extent. For example, instead of just hurting them, she can weaken, poison, drain, and with prolonged touch cause death. That way she can switch between a small resevoir of abilities.
That’s an idea – that could be good to as in as the story evolves and the characters get more powerful (this isn’t just random, by the way, it has to do with my origin story).
But I want to stick with the balance idea, so ideally the weakening etc. should have some sort of counter-balance. Healing is an obvious one and giving strength/energy too. Can you think of anything else?
This is a big help. Thanks!
I was trying to decide what my main character’s minor power should be, and this is what I came up with. I’d just like general thoughts or opinions on it, please. Maybe suggestions of how it should be different etc.
Okay, so she can see through other people’s eyes. She can’t hear their thoughts, or hear what is going on around the person she’s seeing. She has to have had some sort of physical contact with the person in order to establish her relationship of being able to see them. The power is very draining for her at first. (She has to build up endurance to use it for greater lengths of times) Since it’s basically her minor power, it’s the first one she learns she has.
I think this is a good minor power because it obviously has its limitations. For example, if she’s trying to find someone, she can see what they see, but she would have to know what she was looking at to determine where they were. Also, when her she sees into other people, her eyes change. I’m thinking either she takes on their eye color for a more subtle effect or her irises completely disappear for a more dramatic effect.
What do you think? I’d appreciate any help.
Very interesting. It sounds similar to the Eragon scrying concept, where you can only see what you are familiar with, but with a slight reversal. I find your take on this refreshing. But I would reccomend adding something to make it a bit more visceral, and make it somewhat easier for your heroine to identify what she’s seeing. I’ve been advised that smell and touch are very visceral senses, so maybe your heroine can also feel what the other person feels, or smell what they smell. Feeling would probably be better, because it offers more clues, is more dramatic, and seems more useful. For example, if your character was looking for a missing friend, and felt pain, that would increase the urgency of finding the person. Also, another potential weakness is that if the person she’s seeing through blacks out, she’ll either go temporarily blind (until she returns to her own perspective), or she’ll also go unconscious temporarily. Alsom she could be threatened with death if the other person dies while she’s in vision.
All thoughts welcome.
Do you think there are any ways to make using water different, I was thinking of making his alien transformation not a full transformation. Like instead of being naked with no “privates”, he wears an exosuit. Should I make his abilities more tech based like he uses chemical from his suit and his alien form to control water.
I don’t know, I can’t really “word” what I’m trying to say.
I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t think it’s extremely important precisely how your character is able to manipulate water. If you really wanted to develop that, though, you could try giving his exosuit a sensory setup so that when he pointed or something the water would go in that direction.
I like that idea, I want my aliens but I want exosuits too. Maybe exosuits until they get alienized. I was going to make a suit that made water controlling chemicals and your idea plays well into that.
In my opinion fantasy based abilities tend to go further than sci-fi based ones, what I like about sci-fi based abilities is that they require some ingenuity because they are limited the user will be force to improvise occasionally. Star Wars is a perfect example of not always relying on your power, which is what I want a little bit in my story.
Ha. I’m glad we’re on the same page RB. Some of the things I depict Alex as doing in our fake fight are so over-the-top that if I tried to use them in a book I might as well hang myself. (Exception: Alex and Maesirturaon actually can merge, but this combination will probably not be named The Flame of Zhudai.)
One way to make his powers different would probably be to have him do one of the following random things that popped into my head:
1.He MUST maintain constant physical contact with the water in order to maintain control. Advanced powers require him to actually mold/shape it, like a potter with clay.
2. I know this will sound weird, but have him control it by singing. It works…sometimes. Aslan created Narnia through song, and in Tolkein’s legendarium, Arda (the world of which Middle Earth is apart) was also created by song. Also, water is inherently melodic and fluid.
3. He could temporarily transfer his mind into the water itself. While his body is protected by the exosuit or a thick coating of ice, the water he is controlling acts as a temporary body. You can see obvious strengths and weaknesses here.
I kind of like #3. It’s like the water version of Negative Man. And I think it workable I’ll consider it.
Oh, yeah Adrian doesn’t really have the power to turn water into ice, but he does have thermokinesis over water. He can make it scolding hot or freezing cold. I think I’ll use that number 3.
Thanks
I think I’ll just keep it to chemical control over water, his exosuit will halp him generate the chemical until he can do it on his own.
Talk about a cool project, I’m working on a project for a prospective superhero gang. there will be 4-5 characters that form a gang. None of them really have powers but instead use objects that either grant them an ability or that can just do something super.
These are the items I wanted to use.
Yo-yo
Mask
Scarf
Rollerblades
Umbrella
This is where you guys come in I know you shouldn’t based a character off their powers, but I need to establish the powers first then distribute them. I need each of you to pick one object, and make it technologically super. I’ve already done yo-yo’s. I’m doing this because I like for our minds to come together for the greater good of me, haha. This is for a side project I’m working on.
The Umbrella could be an shield, or create forcefields. It could be the umbrella version of the TARDIS and you can trap things several times larger than it inside it (so it would be a bad idea to just open it up randomly). If it was a super-strong umbrella you could also use it as quite a handy weapon.
Rollerblades could give the pretty obvious boost to speed. Maybe going up walls and over water, too. Or, something a little more unique, maybe they can also change the substance of whatever the wearer skates over.
I think color manipulation could be a very strong ability:
1) Matching colors to their background makes invisibility.
2)Hypnosis, disorientation, and/or seizure inducing.
3)Allows you to cheat on test.
4) Create realistic optical illusions.
5) You’d always have a fresh costume.
6) If you were chasing someone you caould make them stand out.
7)It would generally be a fun power.
I think color manipulation depends on the degree of control you have. If you could also controls patterns and the appearance of texture, you’d be pretty powerful. Although, color manipulation seems like a secondary power it is beneficial, nonetheless.
What about a powerless superhero?
Not even at Batman standards, just below Punisher. The character in my book only survives because he has enough willpower to fuel a car. He uses blunt objects he finds around, or chemicals he mixes. He’s not extremely strong, or big for his age.
He feels like he’s ‘the only good guy in a sea of drugs and gangs and murder and he’s the only one that can save his city,’ that kind of thing. I have the origin story down: his GF gets drugged, raped, and kills herself, and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been afraid. But what about for mere vigilantes? Any advice?
I’m trying to work around him not using a gun, but it’s hard when all the gangsters in the story have them and he doesn’t. The book’s target audience is mature readers, because I’m trying to make it as realistic as possible. So when people get mad, they swear, and drugs, partying and sex are involved.
I’d appreciate any advice.
I, personally, am not a big fan of powerless heroes, but they are very workable and they can be very interesting. They have to improvise at all times, so that would make for alot of interesting scenes.
My recommendation would be not to kill off the girlfriend, but have her severely changed. Experiences like rape can drastically alter personality. Maybe making her more closed off and she doesn’t want to be intimate (not just sexually) with the main character. If you wanted to go to EXTREMES, you could have her go into severe repression so much so she gives herself amnesia, and forgets the MC.
It would seem this character has some strong connections and is very intelligent (burning drugs, putting gangs against each other). I think giving him a degree of gadgets would be more plausible, but you don’t have to go all out (retractable zip-lines, cloaking devices). If he doesn’t want to kill maybe a small tranquillizer gun or firing taser. Or you could move into gun territory, but know your facts about guns before you use them.
“But what a bout for mere vililantees?” I’m not sure what you meant by this. If you meant “more” vigilantes, I would recommend a small team seeing as he is trying to accomplish alot for one person. If you meant “mere” vigilantes, as in weaker heroes, that is also very workable, it allows you to improvise alot of scenes, which is very dramatically appealing.
I have come up with a story and need professional help…..
My first character is named Joshua and has the ability to manipulate air. I was thinking that his power was powerd by energy he absorbed so that he would run out if he wasnt stingy with his abilty. I was also thinking that maybe he has to stop a recharge in fights so that hes forced to use his skills more often.
my second character is Wayne. He has the ability of plant mimicry. so that he can copy plants abilitys. such as thorns or growing vines and roots. he could make plants grow extreamly fast. He can make himself turn into a plant like substance.
Third,This character is named bre’anna and her ability is chlorine gas breath.The effects of this are dizzyness,unconssiousness,or acoma. but the thing is isthat she cant control how intense the chlorine gas is and she cant stop it when it starts coming out(but she can mke it come out).
my last character is named wilma. she has sound absorbtion. she can absorb sound causing people to become deaf and mute. she can also copie sounds she absorbs makeing it a weopon by generating sound powerful enough to bust eardrums,shatter glass,and cause intense pain. but her weakness is that she cant control who it effects because she generates it from all sides.
so those are my characters and i need help with villains. I have a good plot already so i dont need help with that but someone could offer ideas. Also i could use some ideas for their powers. so i would appreciate it if someone would help plzzzz….
Hmm. Mysticgust, are you thinking of a novel, a comic book or something else?
If this is a novel, I think the powers will be hard to choreograph in a fight. Sound absorption might be a problem in a comic book, but generally I don’t think choreography (how the powers are depicted on the page) will be a problem for a comic book.
I notice that none of the heroes sound like they’ll be doing a lot of melee. In a comic book, a meleeist can be a useful source of interesting visuals and generic feats of strength (like bashing through a door, etc).
As for the villain, I’d recommend keeping things as simple as possible. The heroes are already kind of exotic.
I think your heroes lean towards more natural and elemental based powers, so you may want a counter-intuitive villian, maybe a villian with technological abilities. Alternatively, you could go with an opposite force of nature like fire and heat.
I like your heroes they sound like a fresh bunch, although I do agree they may not be melee suited. But, I suspect you can use Wilma and Wayne as meleeists, particulary Wayne. And possibly Joshua.
I’m a little concerned about Bre’anna, what can she contribute by having uncontrolllable noxious gas? Does she ever gain control? What else can she do with her gas?
Could you give me a general idea of your plot? Maybe that would give me some ideas for an appropriate villain.
I’d reccommend changing Bre’anna into Brianna. Depending on her backstory, I think this a bit more of a natural sounding name.
Joshua has the power to manipulate air. How exactly would this be helpful? What could he do? The only thing I can think of is that he can stop air from getting into peoples’ lungs, but that wouldn’t make for very good fight scenes. Also, how would you describe this in a novel/show this in a comic book visual? You may want to tweak this power slightly so it’s a little easier to use.
Wayne’s powers seem very plant-based, which is a good start. However, I’m not really feeling ‘turn himself into a plant-like substance’. I think this overlaps a lot with his ability to copy plant abilities and I’d suggest simply getting rid of it.
I don’t think Bre’anna’s abilties will be very useful. Heck, they seem more likely to be a liability than anything. Unless my memory fails me, chlorine gas is what they used in the trenches in World War 1, and it’s VERY dangerous and often fatal. I don’t think that I’d want anybody like that near me. I would reccommend changing her powers (maybe something more simple, like creating poisons in her body) or give her some sort of control over the gas.
I feel that Wilma’s powers will be hard to describe or show in a visual. Also, something about your description of her powers feels a little off to me. Sound is basically particle vibrations, right? You could tweak your description a little to fit this (for example, she has slight control over particle movement and can prevent them from entering the ear, which causes deafness). Ha, my physics isn’t great.
This is just a minor nitpick, but I think Wayne and Wilma’s names sound pretty similar. I’d recommend changing Wilma to make it easier to distinguish the characters.
As for the villain, I wouldn’t recommend a fire-based villain, simply because it seems to have been done in a lot of other things. Depending on your origin story, how do you feel about a more psychic- or technological-based villain?
Holliequ, I agree on your other points, but one stuck out to me.
I’m pretty sure there are quite a few intersting things that can be done with wind abilities. Pushing, pullling, flying, forming weapons, and maybe constructs, tornadoes, etc. I think with a little creativity Joshua’s air ablities can be interesting. Although, I’m not sure exactly how you would depict this in a novel.
Maybe:
“Joshua gestured with hand, sending a ball of air hurdling at this opponent. Gesturing upward, he created a current that lifted him off the ground.”
Or something like that, but I suspect all that gesturing my get annoying. Alternatively, he could control his air through speech, this may be ok, if it doesn’t come off like an anime with all the ability yelling
I like your idea of creating poisons from her body, but as a slight tweak, maybe she can create a variety of gases. Sleeping gas, knockout gas, dizzy gas, tear gas, seering gas, and maybe truth gas.
Thinking back a fire villian may not be all that fresh (I find fire a very uninteresting ability. Conversly, I had once dreamt up a hero who uses purely heat instead of fire), but I’d definitely advocate the technological villian.
Thanks for the help. I’m thinking about making a novel and maybe a comic here or there. I like to draw.
This is very helpful. I’m thinking about what ragged boy said about the different gases and I think that’s a good idea. I think maybe Wilma and Bre’anna could gain more control later on and I think I came up with a good villain.
I thought about having a guy who absorbs a lot of people’s abilities but can only retain one, which is okay… but when when he absorbs ability augmentation he can supercharge his ability so he can recall abilities he already absorbed and use them on a higher scale than anyone who originally had the ability.
What makes him bad is that an alien race came to Earth looking for specimens to plant their eggs in (when the eggs mature they become they permanently take over the bodies they inhabit), so when he got injected and they found out he had abilities they started looking for superhumans for the queen to lay her eggs in. But when they are immune, they force them to mine ores to build ships and weapons to capture the rest of the human race. So please tell me if you think this is a good idea and be brutal… I will keep updating.
So basically the villian is an Ability Theif, he can absorb a multitude of powers, but only use one at a time. When he uses the power, it’s stronger than the person who originally controlled it. Ok, that sounds like it can work as long as there are more people with powers instead of the main characters.
I’m confused on the origin of his evilness, the way you worded it confuses me. So when he got injected with the egg, they found out that humans had powers, thus they looked for a sperhuman to implant their queen in.
So basically, he was immune and they forced him to work in a mine. That doesn’t explain why he’s evil. Is he working for the aliens? or is he on his own? did he ever even get out of the mine?
Could you re-explain it to me?
The main villain has the ability to copy powers but can only retain one at a time. Until that is he copies the ability of superpower augmentation(ability supercharging) so he used it on himself allowing him to recall his abilities he’s absorbed. When he got injected with the embryo it took control of his body. After seeing that his host had an ability, they decided to find other superhumans to inject.
I’ve decided to change Atalya’s powers. Her current ones suck compared to the others.
Instead of her powers being the result of a botched surgery, they will now be because of her promise ring. Tristram got it from a jeweller whose supplier mistook a space rock for a piece of amethyst. Its structure is the same, but as Atalya wore it every second of every day, the radiation it had gathered during its intergalactic journey transferred to her bloodstream, enabling her to alter her structure. Not a shapeshifter as such, think of Danny Phantom. He can switch from being a boy to being a ghost. Atalya’s appearance changes to that of another possible genetic code she has (her skin goes darker, her hair changes colour slightly, etc) and a pair of wings sprout from her back.
What do you think? Thanks!
What were her other powers? Also, how do the wings help? I think the wings might make her seem a bit cheesy, especially if she’s a bit goody (um, she’s a superhero, so I would guess so . . .) – maybe you can give her a power that’s a little less unexpected?
On the other hand, I really like linking the promise ring to her powers. That suggests that Tristram started dating her before she got her powers and it might make their relationship more human. I feel that could add layers or more interest (for example, maybe Tristram preffered it when she didn’t have powers because she wasn’t in danger. Maybe she feels more on his level now). What do you think?
This might just be a guy vs. girl thing, but I felt the element of the promise ring giving her superpowers was a bit girly. Sort of like Dumbledore telling Harry that he survived because of “The greatest magic… love, Mr. Potter!” (I’m paraphrasing that, but not very much).
Also, I’m not familiar with promise rings. Are they a sign of significant commitment (like an engagement ring) or are they just like a puppy romance thing?
Holliequ:
Her powers before were night-vision and the ability to plant ideas into people’s minds, which they may or may not follow through on. Compared to the powers of the other heroes (flight and psi-blasts, shapeshifting/sound mimicry, communication with the dead, animal empathy, hacking) they seemed pretty lame.
Since Isaac, Tristram and Kamari can fly, I felt it would be easier to add another flier for the fight scenes. If Requiem, Klemente or Olivia were to leap off a building, they would be doomed. Most of my fight scenes are ambush attacks from above, which would be easier to do if there were more fliers.
I haven’t decided on the type of wings. Bat would be cool, but they’re way too common. Angel style are also pretty, but I think I’d make it more like a yellow and blue macaw bird wing.
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/NPLPOD/1134926~Blue-and-Yellow-Macaw-Landing-on-a-Perch-Posters.jpg
I thought it would be a bit too convenient if Tristram and Atalya happened to be at the same foster child support meeting, and both just happened to have powers. This way it works out much better.
B. Mac:
The giving of promise rings in Oz is extremely rare (I first heard about them by watching That 70′s Show) and it is decreasing in other places. What I have read is that they can be a promise to get engaged or a way to show affection. It’s also a sort of mark: “My boyfriend gave me this promise ring, so I’m taken”.
I was thinking about creating a character with the ability to become like sand or as hard as diamond. Does that make sense? I thought that would be really cool.
Chi.Rho!
That sounds interesting.
Have you not heard of the Sandman? (Spiderman villain; you probably have). Or Gaara? (manga villain-turned-hero). They are basically what you’re looking for, and some characters you may want to research.
I haven’t seen any other sand-people like them (not that I’ve looked), so maybe you could expand on what already is. I think it’s doable.
To answer the question, it does make sense. And in case you needed reassurance, go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Also @ Chi.Rho – Heat turns sand into glass, I think I read that somewhere. Still, glass is kind of breakable….Maybe I’ll research it.
@ Ragged Boy – I’ve read about your water element. He’s weak to dehydration and such, right?
Thanks for helping, but I have many more characters…..
However, for today I’m sticking with Sparks/Sprx.
-Wings the Trying-To-Be-Helpful
I think there can be some leeway on the durability of the glass. I suspect the glass would be used for constructs anyway.
Yup, Adrian is weak against heat, electricity, and dehydration, he loses his powers in the new moon. Luckily he has a supply of alien technology to use in such a situation, he’s also a skilled actor making him persuasive and convincing.
One minor concern:
You have three characters whose name start with A. Worst case scenario, a reader could get confused one who’s who if all three are in a scene together.
If I use gene splicing to explain the origins of a chracters abilities…would the character have to resemble the animal used to grant the hero abilities?
Not if you didn’t want them to, although it’s up to your discretion.
CR, I think readers would be okay with him not looking like the animal he shares genes with. For example, Spiderman has some genes from a spider but doesn’t look like a spider.
List of powers from Showtime: The Goddies
Showtime- Control over all water and its properties, versed in alien technology, enchanced durability.
Jimelly- Full water control (including advanced techniques i.e. flight, self-vaporization), vast knowledge of chemistry and technology.
Lae’Trell- Magnetic control, generates an electrical aura capable of stunning and bodily manpulation, mechanical genius, expert pilot. Don’t forget her massive horns!
Meleon (A recurring neutral)- Color manipulation, extendable metal tongue, wall-crawling, enhanced agility.
Thumper (Neutral, contest loser, powers through stolen tech, Adrian’s semi love interest )- Sound control, sound based armor, enhanced strength.
Black Lace(Michelle-Adrian’s other semi love interest)- Biological manipulation (rapid healing, morphing, changing other’s anatomy, biological linking)
Suggestions? Opinions?
Is this a team, or are Showtime and Jimelly enemies (or heavy competitors)? I only ask because they seem similar. Also, where are they? Would Showtime have a hard time driving a car since he only knows about alien ships, or is that ontop of what he already knows?
Ehh… I’d probably give more useful info If I knew more.
Hmm… the diversity of powers seems balanced (-water, +water, electricity, color, sound, and biology), and the color manipulation sounds very intriguing.
I’m no expert, but I see potential… though, I would stick to the norm and change the second water to fire, but you may not want to do that (since it would be expected).
I think Adrian’s power relies on Jimelly (I may be mistaken). Uh, it’s a little complicated. RB can explain.
Those all sound pretty solid, RB, except Meleon (not feeling that name, by the way. It seems a little weird to pronounce, Mel-e-on doesn’t roll off the tongue the same way, Iunno, Mollen or Mallen would). A metal tongue? For a start, why would her tongue be metal, and two, how would she taste anything? . . . That’s gotta be a serious evolutionary disadvantage. I like the idea, though. What about making it just a normal tongue? If you don’t think that has enough spice to it, then maybe it leaks acid or poison or something.
I don’t really care for the name ‘Black Lace’, either. I’m not really fond of names with more than one word. I think you could give her something stylish like Showtime, nevermind if it has nothing to do with her powers. Showtime doesn’t either, after all, unless you say “they’re showy!”
Maybe Psychedelic for the colour-manipulation guy? Awesome power, by the way. Also, if human and possibly alien bodies are comprised partially of water, would that make the Michelle’s power redundant? Oh, and I don’t get the purpose of the apostrophe in the magnetic guy. Does it refer to a way of pronouncing the name? It’s a little distracting. Perhaps a demonic-sounding name for that character? It would help readers remember her horns, too.
Well, Adrian/Showtime and Jimelly have the same powers because they are the same alien race. Jimelly will not use his powers very often though, he specializes in his chemistry, and isn’t really a fighter. Jimelly is Adrian’s mentor and the one who gave him his powers via injecting him with his own DNA.
I like Black Lace, but I can come up with something else. I’m not feeling Psychedelic, maybe Camo, I’ll come up with something. His concept is a human cha-meleon.
He has metal tongue only when he goes alien. I wanted to do something new.
Adrian and Jim won’t control the water in people’s bodies, that’s kind of cheating, so Michelle is good in her field.
This group is somewhat a team, some of these people probably won’t meet each other like Jim and Michelle.
Lae’Trell is an alien, not a demon, and plus she’s a good guy. So, I don’t want to give her a demonic name, despite her large horns and moody personality. She doesn’t explicitly control bodies, but she can boost her own chemistry by electrical impulse.
You kind of have to understand my story to get it, Adrain/Showtime is a human who can turn into a half alien at will becuase he was injected with Jimelly’s (who is a full alien) DNA. So he’s more human than alien.
Hey guys….I was wondering are some tips on creating characters and making sure that their primary and secondary powers work together….For example would it be pointless to create a character who can turn invisible and have superspeed? Thanx
Well, usually when you have a character with a primary and secondary power, the primary is usually generic. This gives you the opportunity to give them an exotic secondary power. Wallcrawling and web spinning is cool, but spider sense takes it over the egde (in a good way).
Alternately, you could choose a primary power and edit it to make it more interesting or exotic. For example, telekinesis but only over paper or marbles. Or summoning, but only things that you have drawn before.
I hope this helps. I think B. Mac can give you more insight.
Hmm… as a rule, I think exotic powers require more attention from the audience, particularly if they have unusual parameters (like the ability to use telekinesis but only on paper or metal).
If a power requires a lot of audience attention and/or explanation, I think it’s important to make it front-and-center. For example, Spiderman’s webs are his most distinctive and most-used power, but Superman’s eye-beams and icy breath are just minor tricks that rarely see action.
Invisibility is a good power, and superspeed is ok (although superspeed will make it especially difficult to write in fights with unpowered criminals). However, I’m not sure about the combination. First, they don’t seem to go together very well. Second, I don’t think they’re very complementary. For example, Wolverine’s agility and claws are complementary because he can work in crazy acrobatics as he tries to claw someone. Likewise, Spiderman can do acrobatics or wall-crawl as he tries to shoot webs.
I think invisibility would work better for something like a stealth theme, or maybe an intangible ghost theme. Superspeed is more limited. Usually, the character is just a speedster (like the Flash or Quicksilver).
Now for my villains. As a general statement they all feel constant, extreme pain at all times giving them an oddly high tolerance for pain. By being in pain for so long they have become accustomed to it.
Master Unitus (his chosen name)- He’s a delusional megalomaniac whose goal is to unite the entire universe in pain. Being that pain is one of the only things that all races, alien and human, share he chose it as his mean. Thusly, he first used his theory on his “loyal” subjects.
He is a gifter, although his gifts come at the cost of extreme pain to the body parts associated. He is also a hypnotic orator, but his hypnosis only works if whom he is speaking to is not aware of it. He has no battle abilities, although he can give negative abilities. For example, he could give you the ability to have a body that weigh tons, while your body is in extreme pain, you also cannot move yourself.
Unitus, being in a fixed position, refers to his four main followers as his Body.
Vorp, The Mind- Has the ability of mental matter reconstruction and a super-genius level intellect. He suffers from intense splitting migraines, but works through the pain.
Mange, The Heart- Breathes and spits decay pheromones, can control the density and thickness of her skin, healing factor. She suffers from symptoms similar to a rapid flesh eating virus. This coupled with her healing gives her the general appearance of a rotting corpse, although she isn’t actually rotting.
Lock, The Hand- Can control and multiply the joints in his body, using them to rapidly extend and expand his limbs. He is also armed with an arsenal of blades. Due to his race he has naturally stretchy skin to accomodate his bones. He feels the constant pain of broken bones.
(No name yet, ideas?), The Foot- She has detachable, regenerative body parts that she can manipulate and self-destruct. She carries a large energy shield that she uses offensively as well as to defend herself from her own explosions. She is disdainful towards her title and is the only Body member who still reacts negatively to her pain. She feels a fluctuating pain of burning throughout her body, particularly her lungs, causing her to often cough when she speaks.
RB, for a name, how about something like Zela or Zena? I would suggest Zeeka because it sounds a bit harsher, but that might not be so easy to read. What do you think? (Don’t mind the Z names, btw, I’m in a Z sort of mood.)
On Vorp: I think it would be really difficult to use that genius intellect through a splitting migraine, but it seems to work. I think that his mental matter reconstruction could be hard to choreograph.
The others seem fine to me, if a bit quirky. You might want to get B. Mac or somebody’s advice though. I’m not the superhero expert.
Vorp has learned to work through his pain, like the other members (except Boom).
I agree, the matter reconstruction may be difficult. I’ll probably have this portayed by instant transformation instead of something like liquid morphing.
The powers were meant to be a little odd, but essentially simplistic, I think I’ve achieved that.
Wow, wicked site. I was wondering… I started a superhero novel based on five teenage characters. I’ve created their backstories and personalities but I don’t know what superpowers to give them. Could you help me out?
Hi, great site! Well, I’m starting to write a super hero novel. Here’s the backstory:
After the Cold War, much of the nuclear waste had to be dumped. They picked five remote areas across the country and dumped tons of this radioactive waste in lakes, swamps, forests, etc. For a while it was left undisturbed until population grew in these areas. People started going missing. Myths and legends were created around strange stories of people with extreme powers, or deformities.
How does that sound so far?
It’s set in the present time. The main character is a 16 year old guy named Jayden Smithson. After both his father and older brother go missing, the father during a delivery (he was a trucker) and his brother during a camping trip, his mother remarries and has another son, Tyler. Well, Jayden’s stepfather gets leukemia and they are forced to move from Boston, MA to the small town of Greenwood Lake, NY because of Jayden’s mother’s economic turmoil. Greenwood Lake is one of the the dumping zones for the nuclear waste.
How does that sound? I’m having more trouble coming up with names and powers. I’m not sure if the names of the heroes should somehow relate to their power. I’m not sure if that makes them more corny.
Thanks OK like i said my super human story is about five teenagers who discover they have abilities this is set in a world where superheroes only existed in comics or thats what people think i have got the the characters made now save for they powers and i just can’t decided what to do can any one give me some suggestions
Wade, what are their personalities and backstories like?
Brittany, five separate areas is a lot of ground to cover in a novel. You might find it easier to work with something like three: two to explain where the heroes come from and one to explain where the villain(s) come from.
Thanks a lot. Well, so far I thought of this. It’s about five teens from fifteen to sixteen that go to the same school. They are all very different. There’s Dan, who is popular, smart and handsome but is very arrogant and a bit of a sociopath. Jake is a rebellious and criminal teen. Emma is sweet and naive, while Stacy is enigmatic, elusive and desirable. Lastly, Will is Dan’s friend, an unconfident and weird day-dreamer. There are other elements like the genetic research company Honex. I’m having some problems with the powers and origins, partly because there are so many powers to choose from. It’s really hard.
Here’s Wills and Jakes character file.
Name Will Edward Thompson
Age 16
Ethnic White British
Height 5.5
Weight Seven stones
Looks Short brown hair, Green grey eyes
Habits Reading, Quoting from mythological and historical people
Motto ‘Acuna matata’
Will is a nice carefree guy with so much unstable and chaotic things in his live Will has learnt to simply not to worry. Will is very curious of things and has a hunger for knowledge and understanding of the world and his place in it. Will often acts randomly and comes across as weird to many. Will struggles with school and home and often hero worships his friend Dan
Name Jake Marcus Cook
Age 15
Ethnic White British
Height 5.6
Weight Five stone
Looks Short spiky blond hair, grim face, brown eyes Small scar over eyebrow
Habits Cracking knuckles, burn things
Motto ‘Life is for living’
Jake is a rebellious boy with so much mixed up emotions that he rebels against everything he hates school and just wishes he could leave. Jake comes from a destructive home his father is in jail his mother a drunkard and his aggressive step father often fight with Jake an his sisters. He doesn’t think of things has rights and wrongs since he feels that the has things has right or wrong since he has faced a lot of injustice in his life. Jake is very athletic since he spends his time playing football with his friends and free running.
Ok, the first (and most cliche) thing that comes to mind for Jake is something fueled by anger (like the Hulk) or something fiery. Since those would be cliche, what would you think about agility or maybe superior speed instead? (After all, he is kind of athletic and likes free-running). If you wanted to add something exotic, I’d give him something a little bit creepy, since he’s kind of on the rougher side of life. Maybe something fear-related or mental [UPDATE: Ragged Boy mentioned shadow-control below. I think that would work, too].
For Will, the most cliche things that come to mind are something mental or something based on water or air. Luck-based powers are always tricky, but I think luck might work for him because he seems like a guy that is ok leaving things to chance. Also, I notice that you describe he acts a bit random, and that suggests that even his behavior depends on probability. Alternately, you could go for a techy-kind of theme, since he loves information, but he doesn’t seem like a science nerd.
Ola Wade!
So far I’m not sure who is the main character, or if there is one at all. I think their personalities are workable, if not a little generic. Generally, most groups have the moody/rebellious kid, the charmer, and the weirdo. This is okay and has worked before, but isn’t all that fresh. I suggest slightly unexpected tweaks on the personalities. We’ve seen the troubled teen, but what about a troubled teen that escapes into books. I’d find it pretty interesting to read about a rebellious character who is always reading books about peaceful times.
As for Jake’s powers I’m think soemthing along the lines of:
Heat control
Shapeshifting
Shadow form and shadow control
As for Will:
Construct conjuring (creating objects)
Biokinetic control (can boost his bodies physical ability o someone elses)
Earth control
I’m not good at coming up with powers that aren’t exotic, sorry. Maybe some of these can give you ideas. I think B. Mac may be able to help you better with coming up with powers.
One of my characters was fused together with his dog. I named him Dire after the Dire wolf of the Ice Age. They got as big as horses, which is how big Dire gets. See how his name relates to his power of transforming into a huge dog.
Thanks for the ideas. I like the shadow form for Jake, and I had an idea that maybe he has time controlling it. [EDITOR: ?]
I had an idea for Will based on what RB said about biokinetic power. I thought of giving Will telekinesis but using in a different way, like being able to give him superstrength and durability and flight. What do you think? Here are character profiles for Dan and Emma.
Name: Danny Aaron Simons
Age: 16
Ethnicity: White British/French
Height: 5.6
Weight: six stone
Looks: black hair/icy blue eyes/handsome
Habits: sarcasm and manipulating
Motto ‘the only thing we need to know is survival’
Dan seems to be every parent’s dream: he is very handsome, one of the most popular boys in his town, does very well in school, and many of the girls in his town would give anything to date him. There is a dark side to his personality, however. The flip side of Dan charm and self-confidence is an arrogant belief in his own superiority, but no one seems to notice. Teachers, friends’ parents, schoolmates and girls all idolise him despite his sociopathic tendencies. He often plays cruel games with his family and friends, in particular those closest to him like his girlfriend and his best friend Will.
Name: Emma Louis Queen
Age: 15
Ethnicity: white American immigrated to England
Height: 5.4
Weight: 4 stone
Looks: honey blond hair, big blue eyes
Habits: twirling hair, singing out loud
Motto ‘LOL’
Emma is naïve and sweet and sometimes a bit dim. She comes from a wealthy and powerful family that migrated from America. Emma’s father is a utterly ruthless domineering cold man who often tries to make his children complete for his attention. Emma doesn’t understand this so she simply does not do. [EDITOR: ?] She is the youngest of her siblings and does not get along with her sister, who is more like her father. She’s close to her homosexual brother. Even though she is the ‘good girl’ she has a sweet tooth for naughtiness which is often brought in her by her best friend Stacy.
@Wade, on characters:
I had a long-ish post yesterday about Will and Jake’s personalities but it wouldn’t post. >.< So this is the shortened version:
Will: He came across as optimistic and carefree, and a bit socially inept (hero-worshipping your best friend isn’t typical for boys that age, in my experience). I think this is a good start, but I’d recommend adding a few flaws to the mix. What do you think about making giving Will really low self-esteem, dependant nature, over-cautious?
Jake: I think Jake has less going for him than Will at the moment. He’s rebellious and angry, and that’s all I can gather right now. He doesn’t seem like the sort of character who would have many friends or trust people easily. For tweaking his personality and making him a bit more likable, what do you think of his family situation making him a person who tries to uphold justice? Instead of only acting for himself, he might be a fair to everybody, because that’s something that he didn’t get. I think this is unusual but could work. What do you think?
I like Dan’s dark side. However, I worry that it might make him a bit unlikable. If he’s one of the main characters of your story, it’s important that the audience can sympathise with him. What do you think of tweaking his personality a little? Maybe he feels people only like him because of his superficial qualities, the looks, grades and so on – how do you feel about him being ‘cruel’ to people he believes don’t look past the surface. To those that do (like Will and the girlfriend), he is much nicer to and he cares for them a lot. What do you think?
Emma I don’t like as much, although she has good qualities. I think her sweet and innocent nature would come across similarly to Will’s optimism and carefree attitude. What do you think of making her more aloof, jaded and/or sarcastic? I think this could help make her character more unique. Also, it would make her ‘sweet tooth for naughtiness’ (?!) less of a surprise. I think currently, it could seem like she’s being manipulated by her best friend. What do you think?
Thanks. The characters do a bit of tweaking. Will is supposed to be the nice carefree guy who has got self confidence problems, which is why he often ignores what Dan does even though he doesn’t agree with it. I am thinking though of making Will’s flaw the inability to express himself since he’s too worried about what might happen.
Jake needs some changes. I didn’t mean him to across as the bad guy… he’s just a really troubled teen with a lot in his life. I could change him into a more friendly character. Thank you for your comments.
Dan will have some better qualities but my plan for him was that he starts to grow more of an understanding of what the conquences of his darker ways are and how much he undervalues his bestfriend and girl friend as story progresses.
emma needs most work i couldn’t really explain what she is like i wanted her to have the image of nice character but also have dark qualities but making sure she does’nt seem like the other characters could you help me
Nice character with dark qualities, okay. Well, I would recommend avoiding innocent in that case, except as a pretence. You might make her friendly, but maybe a bit pessimistic as a contrast to Will’s optimism. Also, maybe she’s the sort of character who expects people to return favours. It might also help to make her a bit distant from everyone but her close friends, but still nice to them. (If someone says hello she might smile and say hello back, but neglect further conversation, for example.)
What do you think?
This is the last of the five characters.
Name: Stacy Elizabeth Stone
Age: 16
Ethnicity: white English
Height: 5.5
Weight: five stone
Appearance: long raven coloured hair, sapphire coloured eyes, stunningly attractive
Habits: reading poetry, smoking
Motto ‘who needs a motto’
Stacy is enigmatic and elusive. She’s like the queen bee– intelligent, beautiful, in control of herself and totally independent. She can be very impulsive at times from bunking school to kissing random boys. She often sneaks out at night to go to parties. She’s her own person and doesn’t follow trends. Her best friend is Emma who in some ways gives the cool and detached Stacy a heart. Her parents and teacher often worry for her as she is very strange and mysterious. Often she wears skimpy sexy outfits to got out with and often flirts and seduces people. There is no one who fully understands this strange girl, which often leads many people to avoid her.
Now that you know the characters, can you help me with their powers? Maybe mixing the classical and exotic types.
Wade- maybe you could have Emma struggle with trying to be a good girl. When she does things that are considered bad she uses her family as an excuse. Because they aren’t perfect why should she have to be perfect. That way she would appear innocent but when the opportunity arises to “act up” she does.
Does that make sense?
Name Will Edward Thompson
Age 16
Ethnic White British
Height 5.5
Weight Seven stones
Looks Short brown hair, Green grey eyes
Habits Reading, Quoting from mythological and historical people
Motto ‘Akuna matata’
Will is a pleasant, carefree guy. With so many unstable and chaotic things in his life, Will has learned to simply not worry. Will is very curious and hungers for knowledge and and to understand the world and his place in it. Will often acts randomly and comes across as weird to many. Will has self-esteem and confidence issues. He often feels that things are out of his control. Will doubts himself often. Even though he has friends, he often feels alone. He’s uncomfortable with sentimental things. Unlike his friends, Will believes in destiny and often feels he’s meant to do something great or terrible to change the world. Will struggles with school and home. He often ignores his best friend Dan’s darker ways.
Stacey should have an out-of-the-way power, something unusual…
Possession might be good…
Shadows are probably best for Jake, good work RB…
Nature might work for Emma, not so sure on her…
As to Dan, I’m not a fan. I’ve met too many real people like him, he seems too villainous at the moment. Give him something physical.
I’m actually a blank on Will.
This help any?
- Wings
Idea for Will!
When I first think of his character I get the same idea: mental. But that is too cliche for me.
Illusions might be the right fit for the guy. You mention that he is “a carefree guy with many unstable and chaotic things in his life”. If he is the sort to try and not worry about it, than he’d probably want a sort of escape. Therefore, illusions if he is used to trying to pretend something isn’t there or, if you’re daring, pretending that something else IS there).
Does this make sense?
And I didn’t mean to be so harsh on Dan. He really needs to have a little kindness though.
- Wings the Apologetic
Illusions may be hard to choreograph in a novel. I’d recommend something more combat friendly. Telekinesis, psionic bolts, or mental lightning could work well.
I also think possession is a combat lacking ability. Oddly, for Stacy I’m feeling like something smooth and weird is in order. Maybe her body can produce spores that can be used for things like seduction/control, knocking things out, concentrated spore blasts, etc.
I liked B. Mac’s suggestion for luck based powers for Will, they could be tricky though. I suspect you would need to make his control intentional. For example, Jinx from Teen Titans fired rays that manipulated luck. You could give him an extendable aura of good luck, to make his scenes more high stakes you could have his control fluctuate. It would be bland if he lucked his way out in every situation. I would also recommend another combat friendly ability, maybe super-agility.
For Dan, being that he’s a showoff, he needs something to show off. I recommend something similar to Colossus of The X-Men. He can generate a metal skin, and has super strength. As a tweak, his skin transformation is limited to his hands and lower legs and feet until he gets stronger. Also, instead of his skin turning to metal they turn into large metal gauntlets and boots. They would be heavy, but this wouldn’t be a problem a he would have super-strength. This could also work later in your book as a weakness for him.
As for Emma, I’m thinking hair control, definitely hair control. She can rapidly grow her hair and use it for a number of tasks. I think it would go well with her tendency to twist her hair.
Are sound-based abilities too cliche for Emma? I saw that she liked singing out loud and the first thing that came to my mind was a scene in which she accidentally destroyed part of a building by involuntarily using her powers while singing.
For Jake, the first power I thought of was pyrokinesis, or maybe he turns into fire, like the Human Torch from Fantastic Four.
Will is carefree and doesn’t worry much so maybe his power should be something that helps him with that, like he could be imprevious to harm or have unbreakable skin.
I’m thinking shapeshifter for Stacey, since she’s very independent and doesn’t seem to follow trends. Maybe that’s too obvious.
I’ve got nothing for Dan that would top RB’s suggestion. That was the best idea for Dan so far.
Yeah, fire was one of the first things that came to mind for Jake. I think hot-headed fire elementalists are a bit too obvious, though.
I like the idea of making Will very durable. (Or maybe elastic).
I agree that shadow-control is a very thematically sound power for Dan. However, it might be hard to choreograph in a novel. (But not impossible. For example, see the supervillainess Pity in Spiderman and the Sinister Six).
Emma with sound manipulation/screaming and superhearing is pretty sound, I think. (Maybe she wanders around with her headphones in all the time to block out distant sounds, haha).
Durability for Will seems to fit. Hmm. For a secondary power, what do you think about super-reflexes/agility?
Ice for Jake is also pretty good. I think earth could also fit, if you prefer that.
For Dan, what about flight? As a side-power, something like poisons or acid? (I’m not sure those gel too well, though – maybe if his pseudonym was something serpent-ish.)
What kind of weaknesses would a character have if he is impervious to harm or invulnerable? I know a lot of characters with that ability are highly susceptible to telepathy. I was trying to think of something somewhat different though.
I’d recommend have him not be totally invulnerable. Even Superman gets physically overwhelmed occasionally.
He could have a point of vulnerability. For example, Achilles had his heel and Sylar can be harmed in the back of the neck.
He might have an exotic weakness. Hopefully something less exotic than kryptonite, though. For example, Agent Orange deals with cold very poorly (he’s a reptile, after all).
I like a selective point of weakness. Although, you’d need a villain with good perception to notice the weak spot.
Alternatively, you could give him a time parameter. He can only have his invulnerability for a set amount of time before having to recharge the power.
I really like time restrictions, but could you smoothly apply a time restriction to something like invulnerability? Unless the invulnerability comes along with some sort of transformation (like Colossus turning himself into steel, or Bruce Banner becoming the Hulk), my guess is that it might feel flimsy. For a time restriction to work, readers usually need to see that the power requires a substantial amount of effort to sustain. Visually speaking, that pretty much requires some sort of transformation. Otherwise, it’d be hard to tell whether he was actually invulnerable or not in a given panel.
I found a pretty good power list, which even tells which (well-known only) heroes already have that power. That way, you can stay away from overused powers.
http://www.superherodb.com/powers.php
It also gives a short description and the proper name (for instance- weather control = atmokinesis).
hope this helps
- Wings Wings Wings
Atmokinesis? Cryokinesis? Readers would probably benefit from names that are easier to understand, like “weather control” or “ice control” or whatever. If there’s no easy way to describe what you have in mind, then I’d recommend making up a simple phrase. For example, “spider-sense” requires some explanation, but after that it’s fairly intuitive.
Wow, that was a pretty definitive list of superpowers. I loved how they had a character from Heroes who was only there for 2 episodes under ‘underwater breathing’!
I have a story about a girl with superpowers who has to fight her dad (the bad guy). I need powers and weaknesses and names(Whew!). Help!!
(P.S. Thinking about Energy Manipulation for girl)
I made up a new character recently. Here’s his bio sheet:
Name: Jackson Gray
Alter ego: The Facade (What do you think the availability on that name is?)
Age: 20 (my first adult protagonist)
Ethnicity: African American
Profession: (You guys are going to hate me, haha) Model
Abilities: None of his own. Uses an illegal drug known as Neon, allowing him:
-A parameter of perfect perception via peak senses.
-enhanced physical ability i.e flexibility, dexterity, speed, and reflexes.
-slight persuasion, enough so to make a person drop their guard for a second or spill a secret.
Personality: Coming Soon…
Backstory : Unlike most superhero stories, Jackson’s world has been drastically effected by the existence of “superheroes”, like the Watchmen (I’m not sure to what extent yet). Although, no one actually has powers, technology, genetics, and chemistry have yielded people with above human potential. I’m thinking of using a modified New York as the setting.
Introduction to Neon, The Super-Drug : The story starts with Jackson, a party-boy, at a less-than-upscale fashion party in a secluded V.I.P lounge with head fashion designers. The fashion heads are discussing a new line of superhero attire and want Jackson (the model, not the superhero) to be their spokesmodel. In order to avoid legal complications (pretending to be a superhero is illegal) they want him to really be “super,” thus, they offer him his first dose of Neon, a new drug. The impressionable Jackson being new in the industry feels this could be his big break and, despite reluctance, accepts.
Everything Goes Wrong : While injecting, a bomb goes off in the building, forcing Jackson to drop the needle and hurry to get out, he only takes about a quarter dose. Leaving the building he confronts one of the attackers. Having such a small dose, he only has a slightly increased perception. He battles it out in the crumbling building…
As you can see it still needs fleshing out. As you can also probably see this is a more mature story.
Suggestions?Opinions? See any flaws?
Eh, I don’t want him to be a villain. I’ll worry about it later, as of now I’m stowing it away in my Literary Scrapyard, to focus on Adrian. I don’t have the mental capacity to focus on both at once, especially since one need major development and I’m not in the most creative mood.
Thanks for the input though.
What kind of limitations would you put on a memory manipulator so that they wouldn’t seem too powerful? I mean for a person that can create/alter/delete memories. Thanks.
I don’t think that the character would likely be overpowered, given that his powers seem kind of useless in combat. The problem is that memory manipulation is confusing and usually unsatisfying. (See #4 here). For example, a regular superhero has to use cunning and guile to protect his secret identity. That’s interesting! A psychic that can delete memories doesn’t really have much on the line when it comes to protecting his secret identity. Having the ability to erase memories makes the stakes much lower.
Here are some limitations you could use to shake things up.
–The psychic can only delete memories with the consent of the target. (This will force him to use persuasion or maybe coercion rather than just rely on his power. When a hero just relies on a power without any adding any sort of creativity or cunning, it tends to be unsatisfying).
–The psychic can only delete memories he knows about. This will force him to do some investigation on his own.
–Be really careful with the ability to add memories. That power tends to be confusing as hell. Who remembers which fake memories? It’ll probably be hard for readers to keep it all together.
–A distance restriction. If the hero has to touch the target to use his power, it might make things more interesting. Also, if the power looks really unpleasant and makes the target start convulsing or act similarly agitated, it would probably be more interesting. What does the hero do if the target is in broad daylight? That’s an obstacle that will give you an opportunity to let the hero try a creative solution.
What are some cool ways to put a twist on teleportation? I was thinking about a character who can teleport through shadows. But do you guys have any other ideas that maybe cool? Like mirrors or water. I might make a character who can teleport through water. That would be tight, now that I think about it.
Maybe he can only teleport through certain ‘nodes’. For example (but don’t use this example) he can only teleport through computers. I say don’t use that because almost every home has a computer nowadays so it’s not much of a restriction. But something along those lines. Maybe something totally random or crazy like he can only teleport between public swimming pools, or something ‘plausible’ like he can only teleport between TVs tuned to a certain channel. Either way, teleportation is a pretty powerful superpower so it needs some kind of restriction to keep it in check (Nightcrawler’s range is very limited, for example).
Yeah, I understand. But there are also very powerful teleporters like the Vanisher (Marvel) and Misfit (DC). So I think there is some sort of balance. What kind of limitations would you put on a shadow teleporter besides distance?
Hmm. The obvious restriction would be that he can only teleport into places with shadows. (That’s not much of a problem at night, but eventually his enemies will figure out that leaving lights on all the time will screw him). He might need to have line-of-sight with the place he’s teleporting to. He might need to have visited or seen the place in question (such as in Jumper). The power may have a cooldown time, so that he can’t just instantly teleport away as soon as the going gets rough. There might be a limit on how often he could teleport.
He might have problems with relativity. For example, if you jump onto a train that’s standing still, you’re fine. If you jump onto a train that’s doing 90 mph, you are going to get yourself seriously hurt. Likewise, if he teleports from an area of low-speed to an area of high-speed (or vice versa), he’s going to get slammed into something that’s moving a lot more quickly than he is. So he’d have a lot of trouble teleporting onto a plane.
Yeah, I see. But in Jumper, he didn’t have to have visited the places, right? He just had to be able to visualize it, I thought.
And even when the lights are on, he still could get in because the peoples’ bodies cast shadows.
If he can teleport into a place with lights on, what’s the point of the shadow restriction?
If he can essentially teleport anywhere, I’d just recommend making it teleportation a la Nightcrawler… it will require less explanation.
True. I guess I was thinking that he could jump out of shadows. So you know how you stand and the light shines on you then your shadow falls behind you…an assassin with this power could kill you extremely easily if you didn’t know about the ability. And it would be untraceable. I guess i should just make him a teleporter.
I think i was just looking for a different form of teleportation and coupling that with a them of stealth. Thats why I used Shadow teleportation. Unless I’m mistaken (which happens very often), Psylocke from X-Men has this shadow teleportation ability as well. Anyways, I just wanted to make teleportation a little different.
What about teleportation through mirrored surfaces? I could see that having more restrictions than shadow teleportation.
For an exotic twist, you could have him only teleport through doorways and other openings big enough to fit a person. I suspect there are doorways pretty much everywhere, but it’s still a restriction. You could have him teleport through a doorway and then use his other stealth skills to get to the place he needs to go. At least, this would give you the ability to show his other stealth skills.
If somebody had the ability control their bio electricity inside of their bodies what kind of abilities would they have?
And also what is biokinetic manipulation?
I believe biokinetic manipulation involves the control of organic matter like flesh, blood and bones, so it would be a useful power for a healer or an assassin.
I’m not too sure about bioelectric control, though. I know sharks have an ability to sense electrical discharges to hunt their prey, because all living cells produce some kind of natural electricity. Or something like that.
Bioelectricity manipulation is probably the lamest superpower ever. All I can think it would do is give you the ability to give yourself a heart attack. Living things produce miniscule amounts of electricity.
If, however, you produce superhuman amounts of bioelectricity and can control it, then you’re Electro from Spider-Man.
And if you can control the bioelectricity of others, you can do all sorts, control nerves, cause pain, give heart attacks, re-start hearts after heart attacks. It’d be pretty fun!
So, I’m writing a story that’s not a superhero story per se, but rather about somebody who has supernatural powers (in the vain of Jumper). Basically, I wanted it to be about a teenager in high school who is homosexual. I wanted to come up with a power that tied into him having to hide his sexuality and/or his quiet, reserved personality.
Jumper? The name says Justice.
Ok, I’m bringing back my Masquerade story for a second. I’m changing his origin from the drug to the mask. His powers stim from a neurological boost he recieves when he puts on the mask. I’ll probably have other characters use drugs for their powers. That should clear up the controversy with the “drugs for good use” issue.
I was wondering. My superhero can create mini-realities in which he can go in and also bring other people in. When he is in his created reality, he is virtually omnipotent, but I don’t know how to start it.
So I have a question. Is it possible to have characters that seem to be extremely powerful and still have a good story? My belief is that there can be a balance. Every character can’t be super powered but there would be people who have certain abilities and multiple abilities that make them more powerful than other people. So what are your thoughts on that?
And when i say every character cant be super powered i mean every character cant be superman. Which is why you have the batman and green arrows. lol
@Solar: this seems like an overpowered character. That said, I can’t offer much advice on starting your story unless you share something about the plot. What happens in the beginning of the story?
@Chi.Ro: I think it’s possible. In fact, I believe most of Stefan’s plot revolves around this idea. Some characters are probably going to be more powerful than others. As long as the difference isn’t huge, I don’t think that would be a massive problem. Of course, the weaker characters should also be valuable.
For the purposes of your story, I think it would be more interesting to use characters who aren’t extremely powerful. A weaker character who overcomes an adversary will probably come across as more sympathetic.
So is Superman considered a bad character because he is extremely powerful? Or the Silver Surfer for example?
I’m not very familiar with the Silver Surfer, because I’m not a comic book reader. But yes, Superman is overpowered (super-strength, -speed AND invulnerability?)
I’m not sure, I think maybe, before he goes to bed one night. Due to his anger of pollution and people not really paying attention. He accidentally creates like a small white hole. He touches it and is sucked in and taken to another universe where Earth, is nothing but an apocalypticc world. He tries to get out after being pursed by bounty hunters who have become cannibals. He eventually escapes when a talking pig tells him about his powers and origin; that he is just another alien, and then he escapes.
Upon getting back to his bedroom, he begins testing his powers uncontrollably, making portals to his own pocket dimensions. And then, some of his creations escape to Earth and begin rampaging and taking over. And because of all the energy he puts into them, manifests into a Dark Entity who wants total domination.
Now that Earth is in ruins and run by the evil being named ‘The Consecrated’ Our hero Joseph must create new portals and gather a team of superheroes to help him return Earth back to the natural order.
He also makes a dimension in which he can alter his physiology, giving himself powers.
I hope that’s okay.
And also, his alien race finds out about what he was doing, they considered him crazed and mentally unstable. So they also have come to Earth to put a stop to the problem he has created and him.
I also have another superhero who can transform into his imagination and even bring his imagination into reality but I’m not sure if he is a cheap character.
I believe there’s an anime called The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya about a girl who can do anything, but she doesn’t realise it.
I say that because that’s the same power as hers, kinda.
Hmm. I’m still not sure about being overpowered, but your story seems to have that sort of theme, so it might be okay.
I would recommend starting with your main character (Joseph?) in his element, before he discovers his power. As for the moment when he discovers it, to place something of a limitation on his power, you might consider that he can only create these portals in windows? So, he stares at his bedroom window when he’s angry and instead of seeing the street outside, he sees a whole new world.
What do you think?
That sounds pretty cool. I thought of an idea similar to that–a girl finds that she can go through mirrors, and on the other side is another world (the same world, not a different world for every mirror but it could work here) and all the mirrors are in the same place in both worlds but of course the two worlds are very different.
So mirrors could work, too–he could only be able to create portals in mirrors. I don’t think there are as many mirrors as windows and that would be more of a limitation, right?
I think Superman is overpowered. That’s problematic because it makes it hard for writers to challenge him. It’s difficult to introduce a supervillain to fight with Superman whenever your story needs an interesting fight. In contrast, a weaker hero like Batman can have fights with unpowered thugs.
I’m not very familiar with Silver Surfer. My impression is that he’s a bit less overpowered because he relies on a surfboard that can be taken away. Also, he’s less physically handsome, which makes him a bit less of a Marty Stu.
Great Idea
I aslo have another superhero but he is in a class of his own
Jack
Jack possesses a god-like ability which may not be anything at first but proves to be one of the greatest powers ever. Jack has the ability to manifest newfound abilities and powers based of and depending on his emotions and actions/behaviour. For example due to his actions of running, he could manifest powers such as superhuman speed. Even by emotions and feelings. For example, if Jack was incredible terrified and afraid, he would manifest powers like superhuman invulnerability or an accelerated healing factor, most cases depending on his situation as well. There seems to be no limit to what powers Jack can manifest but once he acquires a superpower it cannot be removed, his powers also become a little bit more advanced every time his powers are in use. Once his new power manifests itself, Jack will glow and radiate with a white aura, symbolising his body is adjusting to the new ability. Jack can also manifest powers based of his memories or personal experiences and manipulate to his will meaning he could manifest any power as long as it revolves around his situation, the manifestation of his powers are also a way to evolve past situations. For example, if he was being bullied at school or suffocating underwater or in the vacuum of space, he would develop a power allowing him to counter this problem. Finally, Jack can manifest a power depending on his thoughts or worries. For example, if he was worried about dying he might manifest the ability to live forever or otherwise known as Immortality.
I’ve actually got a character sort of like that, Solar, as far as the powers change with emotions. However, having the power always counter whatever is going wrong takes out the suspense. What good is danger if he can just suddenly have a power that counters it?
If I were the editor evaluating your comic book script or novel manuscript, my main concern would be that it’d be difficult to challenge your character in a dramatic way. It’s most satisfying when a character overcomes limits that are concrete to the audience. For example, if a character’s powers only last one hour but no longer, the drama comes from whether he can get the job done in time. If the character’s powers are limited by the need to keep his secret identity hidden, then the audience knows that he has to save the day without exposing himself. For example, if Tony Stark is caught out of his Ironman suit when terrorists attack his building, he has to save the day without his suit. That will require guile, cunning and many other traits that will impress the reader.
In contrast, when your hero faces a difficult situation, he doesn’t get himself out of it… his body gets him out of it. That’s not very satisfying. I’d recommend reining in his powers so that we can see what he can do.
Yeah your probably right.
I’ve got another one. Tell me if this one is good.
Crash possesses numerous abilities such as: superhuman strength, speed, stamina and durability. He also the ability to produced writing without conscious thought, being in two places at the same time, communication with animals and spirits of a people who have died experiences of being disembodied. Crash can also have visions of previous lives before current incarnation, perception of future events before they happen, manipulation of matter, space, time or energy otherwise known as Psychokinesis or telekinesis, Transfer of thoughts or emotions, especially knowing another person’s thoughts and Bodily levitation or flying.
Due to his telekinetic powers, Crash can also
• Speed up or slow down the naturally occurring vibrations of atoms in matter to alter temperature.
• Aerokinesis, the telekinetic subspecialty of being able to control the movement of air molecules specifically.
• Hydrokinesis, the telekinetic subspecialty of being able to control the movement of water molecules specifically.
• Object deformation (including metal softening and bending).[41]
• Influencing events.
• Biological healing.
• Teleportation (disappearing and reappearing elsewhere).
• Phasing through matter.
• Transmutation of matter. Shape-shifting.
• Energy shield (force field).
• Control of magnetism.
• Control of photons (light waves/particles).
• Thought form projection (a physically perceived person, animal, creature, object, ghostly entity, etc., created in the mind and projected into three-dimensional space and observable by others; for thought images allegedly placed on film, see Thoughtography).
Crash can also create weapons out of his own psychic energy which can be altered to be more powerful than another weapon.
Ok, hmm. It seems like you’ve got a lot going on here for one character. For a single character, I’d recommend picking maybe 2-3 of these. I suspect that 2-3 thematically linked powers would be easier to build a character around than ~15 powers that don’t seem to share much of a common theme. For example, I’m not feeling the connection between water control, influencing events, light control, shapeshifting, etc. Most popular superheroes are limited to just a few powers. (Superman is the only exception I can think of). For example, I think you could do something with telekinesis and mentally-created weaponry. Those go together pretty well.
I agree with B. Mac on Crash.
…
I think keeping all these incredible superpowers makes him far too powerful, but I think the idea is a great one. What do you think about him losing the powers when he no longer needs them? Practically, it would be hard to adjust to suddenly having a new superpower, and this ability would only work if he’s aware of the danger, so he would still be vulnerable.
I would seriously recommend that he loses the powers later, though. It will be hard to challenge a character like that, and also hard for him to feel threatened. If he’s invulnerable to harm and impossible to defeat, why should readers care about him? (On a more practical level, it would be difficult to remember all the superpowers he has).
I just made a new story line
Diablo is a powerful demon that belongs to the ‘Seven Demon Gods’. He is the second most powerful demon in the group. Once he was a pitiful virus who merged with a baby but eventually through war and death he began to evolve into a great demon and was taken in by the ‘Six Demon Gods’. Once rebelling against his clan, Diablo suffered a humiliating defeat and was transformed into a sword and was banished to the human world for 5million years. Humans heard of this and scattered the world to control his power, wars were raged; people died and now 5million years later, Diablo has returned to his normal form and has a change of heart, now turned to the light, Diablo protects the Earth killing demons but he also has another motto to follow: Revenge.
That sounds okay. I wonder though, what’s the significance of him being turned into a sword if no one ever finds him. Couldn’t they just have imprisioned him in a seal or something? I would suggest that if you make him into a sword that somebody finds him and then releases him from his prison.
Okay but I changed it. He was imprisoned because he fell in love with a human women. The demons took this as an insult and then beat him up.
I dunno, maybe because he was praying inside his prison and then he was released. But when he comes out, he sees there is a new league of more powerful demons.
But he has the power to transform a soul into a weapon based on their characteristics.
Hello, my name is Chulance and I’m writing a superhero novel series. I’m currently going to start book 1 soon. Anyway, I’ve been working on the plot and things like that. I had some questions about my story and things. Each of my characters have different abilities but I’ve noticed some problems about certain abilities and came with questions which I hope you can answer.
My main character is supposed to end up being the strongest at the end of the story so I’ve given him the ability of power mimicry so he can copy other abilities. Now, I’ve noticed that the more abilities he copies the stronger he will become and eventually he will have a large arsenal of abilities making him unstoppable. I want him to get a large arsenal but not too early.
How can I prevent him from gaining too many powers early in the series? He is a good person so he’ll try to fight villains but how can I avoid him gaining too many strong abilities, like the power to use the energy of a star or manipulating time?
Also, how can you make someone who can manipulate time interesting? For example if armed men break in he can freeze time and leave or slow the bullets down in time. One of my antiheroes has that ability.
Place a tight limit on how long he can freeze time. Maybe a few minutes.
See Peter Petrelli from Heroes for how NOT to do a mimic. By season 3 he was pretty much a Swiss army knife of superpowers. Invisibility, flight, super-strength, lightning, time manipulation, healing factor, telepathy, telekinesis, precognition. Yeah, he was unstoppable.
That was a shame, because they handled his powers so well in season 1. It took him about 16 episodes to learn how to use his powers; he had to either be close to the power’s owner, or think hard about them. He had to train with Doctor Who-I mean… the Invisible Man…I mean Claud Raynes to learn how to use his powers.
But they fixed his overpoweredness quite nicely in Volume 4. They made him lose all of his powers and now he can only have one ability at a time, and must touch people to take their ability. So if he hugs his brother he’ll be able to fly, but then if he slaps Matt Parkman he will lose his flying ability and be able to read minds.
Yeah, power mimicry needs strong limitations.
Name: Ramolian Gyro
Alias: Collision
Age: 22
Powers: Invulnerability the ability to be immune to one or more forms of physical damage, durability the ability to withstand damage for a long time, superhuman strength the ability to have physical strength much higher than any human possible and also raises hi strength by absorbing others life forces, Accelerated healing the ability of to heal rapidly from any injury; the rate of recovery varies from character to character. Can sometimes result in the slowing of aging, Energy blasts Ability to expel various forms of energy from the body, Merge Ability to temporarily merge two beings into a single being, which results in a completely new and stronger being, Flight Ability to lift off the ground, to ride air currents or to fly self-propelled through the air and Teleportation Ability to move from one place to another without occupying the space in between and Immortality Ability to live forever. This may be complete immortality encompassing invulnerability, partial invulnerability to all but specific events decapitation or exposure to a specific chemical such as kryptonite
Or simply an inability to age normally.
Abilities: master in martial arts and master in weapons
Occupation: Elite guardian
Citizenship: America
Place of Birth: Tronian
Group Affiliation: Powerforce
Height: 6’7
Weight: 165 lbs
Eyes: green
Hair: Black
Race: Half god
Framos
Full name: Framos Klee Môn
Team affiliations: None
Supporting: None
Notable aliases: Emperor of all
Place of birth: Merlok
Citizenship: Merlok
Occupation: Emperor
Abilities: Framos as the father and creator of planet Merlok have five rings of Universes which have five different abilities; the ring of creation can create universes, galaxies, stars, solasystem and planet. The ring of life can create new life and the ring of death can end one being life. The ring of time gives him the ability of time, matter and space. The final ring of power gives him the abilities of controlling all the energies of the universe; manipulate the energy and bestowing him with the power of the cosmic which he can make himself last long over millenniums, And other abilities he can think of.
Height: 9’7
Weight: 890lbs
Eyes: Purple
Hair: Blue
Race: Merlokian\Elder of the Universe
Hello, Collision.
I’ll be blunt, Collision is WAY overpowered. How will his story be interesting if he can’t die or get hurt? Along with being immortal, which raises its own problems, he has other abilities that make him unbeatable. I doubt his fight scenes would be all that interesting. Who wants to read about a character that can’t die or even get hurt for that matter.
Since he’s a half god, I’d recommend cutting some of the invulnerablity and the immortality all together. Maybe immortality can come once he becomes a full fledged god. He would still be overpowered, but at least then there would be drama in that he can die or lose.
What do you think?
B. Mac, my characters will end up strong. One villain is a reality warper and that’s the hardest ability to control. Therefore, my guy won’t have enough time to fully control it. Anyway, I’ve got strong villains and characters with one power will focus on that ability while the one with many has to pick a few he uses the most.
I’m still not sure what warping reality is or what you’d be able to do with it. If I were the editor, my concern would be that warping reality might be one of those powers where the author pretty much makes it up as he goes along. It doesn’t seem to have clearly defined limits and, even if it did, they would probably not be very intuitive to readers.
Well the ability to manipulate reality is basically aboslute and ultimate power. Basically a reality warper can do anything or nothing. For example some reality warpers can only warp things on a limited scale like only being able to affect non living creatures that’s mainly for heroes who have the ability or heroes can gain it at the end of a series.
Different reality warpers have different limits though my guy will have some too so he dosen’t just warp reality and the heroes are dead.
“Immortality can be something like they can be killed, but they come back to life. So they still feel pain and die, but they come back more like self-resurrection.”
It works a different way, but essentially, it’s still immortality. It takes a second be he can keep coming back. That sucks out the drama. A reader might say: “Wow that looks painful, oh well, he’ll come back.” It’s not very satisfying.
I’ve seen some comments suggesting that time travel and similar powers are very difficult to create interesting challenges from. I agree, but would this be an interesting and reasonably powered adaption? My hero has the ability to reverse time by exactly 60 seconds. Once he has done so, he may not rewind time during the new 60 seconds or the following 60 seconds to prevent him from rewinding indefinitely. Other than that, he can use this power freely. Is that too overpowered or unworkable?
He’s a character in a comic series I am writing that starts as a background character in several editions before becoming a major character with his own POV comics, if that is relevant. (The series will feature self contained stories that eventually link together in the style of Wild Cards). Also, any help with the name would be appreciated. Nothing obscure, it should be fairly easy to understand but better than Do-over which feels wrong and I am sure is not written like that. Thanks.
I think your restriction is a very good one. So the character has other time control abilities, I think they would need similar restrictions, like fast-forwarding 60 seconds. Sixty seconds isn’t much time to get something done, which will make it dramatic. What if the event takes place happened before or after the 60 seconds allotted? I’d recommend you expand his control just a little, but not too much. I think you’ve got a good idea going.
I think this would be relatively easy to work with.
I’m not great with names, but how about Tempo or Reset. Minuteman could work if you’re writing a comedy.
Minutemen is the name of a disbanded superhero group in the Watchmen graphic novel, and a Disney Channel movie about three time travelers. Doubt it’s still up for grabs.
I’m glad you don’t think he is too overpowered, this is probably the most powerful ability in the entire cast.
At the moment he is limited to rewinding but I might expand this rosta as he gains control of his powers, that’s certainly something to look into, thanks.
I know 60 seconds is short but it forces him to be quick-thinking and prevents him from relying on his powers at all times. Also, the idea is less about going back and stopping things from beginning but limiting the effects having seen what happens. Perhaps increasing it to two or three minutes would be better but I’m reluctant to do much more because a lot can happen in a short amount of time and since it’s a fixed time, I would worry that readers will resent having so much time simply deleted. So I think I’ll expand the time to two minutes, thanks.
It’s not a comedy but should capture some of the fun that is in Wild Cards (it’s my biggest influence). The idea is that most of their alter egos are invented by newspapers and fans so things like Minuteman are not unworkable although that would require him to clearly establish his abilities to the world. Thanks for the help. You made some good points that I need to think about a bit more.
Matt: He SHOULD be able to use his powers freely, but make restriction on them, like the more he uses his powers. The weaker they or he becomes physically or mentally weaker/drained. I dunno, try it so it don’t seem too strong.
I think it’s pretty good as is. Expanding his limit to two minutes will make it easier to manage. I think the wait time is an adequate restriction that keeps the power easy to understand.
I think limits are necessary on character that have a very powerful ability like time control. This keeps them from being overpowered. If he could control time at will, that would get boring because nothing is at stake. If someone gets shot, he just goes back in time and stops them. That’s boring. With the time restriction, you maintain the drama, because the hero still has to save the person in time.
The problem with making it a physical restriction is that it becomes arbitrary. I can employ the restriction whenever I want to limit him but remove it when I want him to win. I don’t need to stay consistent and the audience will pick up on occasions where I am not. With 120 seconds he has a clear limit that is intuitive and easy for the audience to grasp. Also, this is not in the style of Superman or Spiderman where you expect the hero to be able to overcome all problems, his powers are limited so he knows he will fail sometimes because his powers are ill-suited to the challenge.
Thanks for the advice, but I personally feel a time limit works better than a physical one. I’ve never been a fan of powers that tire the user because I find it hard to tell how much they need to use before they are rendered unconscious. Thanks anyway
Something that could be listed above is power gained through an object. For example, the Planeteers have rings that let them control their elements, Dial H for Hero have the dial thingamabob, and in Final Fantasy X2 the three main characters use dresspheres that give them a costume and different abilities. The Planeteers probably come under elements, but FFX2 has varying abilities depending on the sphere used.
My villain can absorb other powers and can keep them until he sees the original owners of the powers again. If he kills them, he keeps the power.
Is that a bit overpowered?
It might be overpowered if he comes into contact with a lot of useful abilities. However, being overpowered is generally less of a problem for the villain than the hero.
I’d say that the main problem is that it might be hard to keep track of all of the powers he has. That’s a problem both for the reader and the writer.
“My villain can absorb other powers and can keep them until he sees the original owners of the powers again.” It might help to come up with a brief explanation for why seeing the original possessor of the power causes him to lose the power. How close does he have to be to the person to lose the power?
For power absorbing villains, see Sylar from Heroes. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t. The main problem is that the writers don’t keep track of his powers.
Because all of my origin stories are just evolution, the DNA of the original owners of the powers pulls the power back into them when they sense it.
That makes the villain lose the power. But the villain keeps it indefinitely if the original user dies. Because the villain is power-crazy, he kills the people after taking their powers.
I have a new hero about a boy who dies in an accidental gang war. The next morning he wakes up in his bed without a scratch. He remembers being shot, so he runs out of his house to the road and gets hit by a car but he remains unharmed. Now he is out to find his killer.
The story is about a zombie boy but I don’t know what powers to give him. I was wondering if you can help me here.
Well, I think ‘he can’t die’ is enough of a superpower. Despite being slightly overdone:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadpool_(comics)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Harkness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine_(comics)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_(Doctor_Who)
It seems like he already has invulnerability so I think any more powers could very easily make him overpowered. As it is, his invunerability means he can survive life threatening situations so creating tension will have to be done by threatening other characters. Giving him powers that make this easier will reduce the tension but won’t add much to the story. I’d say make him rely on his own wits and strength and leave his super powers at invulnerability. That will make the story more interesting I think.
If you still want powers, avoid powerful ones like superstrength or superspeed and give him small things like heightened senses and reflexes. This will avoid him being overpowered.
I like it how Doctor Who avoids making the Doctor too overpowered and generally avoids wangstiness. He gets really weak for hours after regeneration, and his appearance changes to allow a new actor, also causing complications when he runs into people he befriended in a previous incarnation. He solves problems by being smart, but he’s also an idiot at times. In Doomsday when all the stuff happens and the Doctor even cries over it, he is distracted by Donna suddenly appearing in the TARDIS. Then he’s off on his next merry adventure, but not forgetting what happened. At least he is happy more often than he is sad.
Solar, I have a few ideas for your hero who gets abused (presumably before he becomes a superhero).
1-He sees the crimes of all the people around him, and can cause them mental pain, somewhat like Ghost Rider’s penance stare.
2-He can turn into a giant feral monster, like the one on the plane in Fringe.
3-He can destabilise the molecular structure of solids, turning them into liquids. It might be funny if he accidentally liquidates his clothes.
4-He can cause things to open, for example locked doors, bra straps or villains’ rib cages.
I’ve got an idea for a superpower. What do you think of someone who can change his weight?
He can become very light and be able to jump higher and farther and do everything that lightweight objects do, and he can become heavier, making him harder to move because his body weighs more, be able to sink in water, and do all of the stuff heavier objects do. He would be able to become lightweight, jump high into the air, become heavy, and fall back down with a smash (although that would probably be painful).
There are some limits. He can’t go completely weightless and float around like a balloon, and if he gets too heavy he’ll fall through the floor if in a building with multiple stories or he’ll sink into the ground. Jumping from 100 feet will still hurt like jumping from 100 feet. It will hurt more if he’s heavier because he’ll have more momentum when he hits that ground. He doesn’t get stronger when he’s heavier, which means it will be harder to lift his arms and legs and such, but he will be quicker when he’s lighter because it’s less weight to lift.
What do you think of it? Is it overpowered? I’m also having trouble thinking of a weakness…
Definitely not overpowered. I’m having trouble thinking of ways that he could actually use this power, particularly in a fight.
I suppose he could jump pretty far and launch himself as a heavy projectile, but I can’t think of much else he’d be able to do in combat. I suppose he could also kill a Godzilla-like creature in a spectacularly gruesome fashion by jumping onto his skull and then making himself ridiculously heavy… essentially taking an elevator through Godzilla’s brain. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what you have in mind, though. (At least, I hope not).
In contrast, Spiderman’s webs and Wolverine’s claws and telekinesis strike me as more versatile abilities that can be applied to a variety of situations. It might be hard to write scenes where the hero uses his powers in an interesting and creative fashion. What do you think?
I think if you removed the weightless restriction it’d be easier to work with. It would give him a mode of transportation (drifting). But, like B. Mac said, I can’t see it working well in a fight.
But having said that, kudos for thinking of a superpower! The closest I can think of is that extra from X-Men in that one scene who went from being morbidly obese to super-skinny with a thought. But I imagine what you’re thinking of is nothing like that.
The closest I can think of is Hiram Worchester from Wild Cards, but he manipulated gravity so that he weighed less than he appeared. That could be a way to extend his fighting capabilities as Hiram could change the weight of any object, letting him levitate or crush foes, save people from falling and disable enemies weapons i.e. making a gun very heavy.
This might be a bit far from your original idea but maybe you can adapt something similar, perhaps any mass he loses or gains, is taken or given to nearby objects. Hope this helped, I think it’s a good idea with a lot of potential
Thanks B. Mac, Tom, and Mr. Brit.
B. Mac,
I’m actually not sure of ways he could use his power in a fight besides launching himself as a projectile either. Maybe he could have some kind of see-saw/catapult-like thing that he jumps on to launch other objects. But still, that would limit him to launching or being launched… Do you think he should get some kind of secondary power, maybe like being able to change the weight of things he touched as well? I’m not sure how that would help though, so if anyone could help me this, it would be appreciated.
Tom,
I’d like to stay away from going completely weightless just because of physics (maybe I’m being to strict with following physical laws, tell me if I am). What would happen if you push something weightless? Right now, it would be impossible to tell how fast it would move, or if it would move. Maybe I’m just being too picky though.
As for transportation, I think that just jumping long distances, which I guess is pretty similar to drifting, would work. Thanks for the suggestion though.
Also, I’m glad you can’t think of a similar superhero. The whole reason I came up with this was because I wanted to create a new, unique, and interesting power that wasn’t completely useless.
Mr. Brit,
Again, glad you couldn’t think of any superheros with this exact power. I like the idea of being able to change the weight of other objects, and having to give and take his mass from other objects. I can think of a lot of situations and challenges for a guy with that. Also, it would make it slightly more of a plausible/realistic power, since it would follow one more physical law.
Also, I’d like to clear up one thing that I’m not sure I explained well enough. When he changes weight, he stays the same size. Think of the difference between a bowling ball and a same-sized balloon. Same size. Different weights.
I’m not sure what weaknesses to give him because I can’t anticipate any situations where it will be too easy for him to succeed. Usually, weaknesses are called for when the hero’s powers make it virtually impossible for him to fail. That doesn’t seem to be the case here.
I was thinking of a hero who can turn souls into weapons based of their characteristics. He can also separate people from their souls and absorb them, gaining their strength, intelligence and other abilities.
And his weaknesses?
Also, the name Jack for a hero is something of a cliche in itself, but that’s not a huge problem.
I have a new superhero called Elemental who can alter his molecules to transform into virtually any substance, any alloy, any gas or any liquid or solid.
What do you think?
I’d recommend limiting that. If he can transform into anything, he won’t be easy to capture, or beat, or even threaten. Maybe he can only turn into certain elements, or he can’t turn into a compound, or if you want to be a real chemistry buff, only compounds that contain non-metals.
Or maybe he can only transform once every two minutes.
Oh, and brush up on chemistry. Not a total requirement, but it’s a MEGA pet peeve of mine when people get the science totally wrong. If I ever wrote something that contained science WAY out of my league I’d research it first.
I’ll say he can turn into 5 (this is his limit) things like steel hands and arms (Left), left leg made of fire and right leg of wind, Right arm and hand made of Sand and the rest of his body is made of water. He can’t maintain a form like this for long. At the end he would just revert back to normal and probably collapse.
How’s that?
It would be fine if he could turn his entire body into steel, fire, wind, sand or water. You might even add wood in there if you feel like having every western and eastern classical element.
Collision said: “B. Mac and The ReTARDISed Whovian i get what your saying… But i feel like i written the story as it should been. im not sure about the spelling becuase i know that how the words are spelled is correctly because that is how they are spelled in the dictionary.”
Well, the dictionary can’t fix usage issues. For example, both “your” and “you’re” are in a dictionary, but only “you’re” can be used as the contraction for “you are.” I suspect that dictionaries wouldn’t help much with verb tenses, either.
I hope that helps!
Solar asked: “I have a new superhero called Elemental who can alter his molecules to transform into virtually any substance, any alloy, any gas or any liquid or solid. What do you think?”
I think most shapeshifters are more limited than this. For example, Colossus can turn himself into metal and Hydro-Man can turn himself into (you guessed it) water. It would probably be better to limit him to one category of transformation because that would force him to be more creative. Also, if you’re doing a comic, it will probably be much easier for your artist to show a character made out of one type of material than a hodgepodge of elements. (For example, Metamorpho looks like a freakshow).
In particular, I’m a bit worried about the ability to turn into gases. If he can turn into air and escape any time he wants to, it will be very hard to either threaten him or confine him. It will also be very hard to keep him out of places he wants to get into.
This is a bit of my story for my new superhero who can transform into anything he imagines and he can bring his imaginations into realty.
Tell me if it’s okay.
I’m not going to put up chapter 1 becuase that part is just about my hero in love with a girl.
Chapter 2 – Sudden Symptoms
Lance, Lance, LANCE!” Jennifer screamed to her brother through the bathroom door “Why are you taking so long?” She couldn’t hear anything apart from Lance panting and what sounded like him crying. “Lance, I’m going to call mum. Because it seems like you’re in some form of trouble” There was a loud bang on the door “ONE SECOND, I’M COMING!” Lance was going hysterical, he could barely think straight. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He stared into the bathroom mirror and saw that his skin had completely turned dark blue. At first he believed it to be a prank by his sister and brother. He was reluctant to believe it to be true; he continued to run his hands under warm water but nothing happened. Before he knew it, his second and then fourth finger instantly disappeared. Lance screamed with fear as he saw this.
But it wasn’t over; Lance could feel something pointing out of his back. In a matter of seconds, a very long blue pointed tail rushed out of his back. “AHHH!” Lance continued to scream in horror “What’s happening to me” Lance’s parents we’re banging on the door “Lance. What’s going on in there? Are you Okay?” there was a sudden silence “AHHHH!!!” large blue feathered wings sprouted from Lance’s back, covering almost the entire bathroom. “AHHHH! DON’T COME IN HERE!!”
That’s it, I’m kicking the door down,” Benjamin, Lance’s Father. Couldn’t dare to hear his son in pain and peril anymore so he booted the bathroom door down with all his strength and power to see Lance lying on the floor shivering, despite all the noise Lance was making. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Was it possible it was in his imagination? “Lance, there is nothing wrong you. “What? Look at me. I’m a monster!” Jennifer laughed “Yeah, you got that right” Benjamin lifted Lance up by his hand “Jennifer, Shut up” and so she did. “Look Lance” he turned him towards the mirror “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you” Lance couldn’t believe it “No, no, NO! That’s impossible. I had wings and a tail and my skin was blue”
Lance, sometimes we see things that aren’t actually there” He put his hand on Lance’s shoulder “Look, you’re obviously in no position to go to school”
I think you did a rather good job at expressing Lance’s feelings in this.
My own characters never really have scenes like this: Meg doesn’t notice her powers (other than the fact that everything electrical in her room has turned off), Ian woke up on the roof but didn’t notice anything different about himself, Connor’s powers don’t really affect how he looks in any way (but he can see auras and the like now, slightly unnerving him), and Darren was wedged in a doorway and, again, didn’t notice anything different.
- Wings
What do you think of giving my non-powered hero gloves and boots that enhance strength? By that I don’t mean with them on she’ll be able to lift heavy objects with ease, but when she punches and kicks, which are her main ways of attacking, the blows will be enhanced, sending ordinary people flying and causing damage to superpowered beings, something she normally wouldn’t be able to do.
Also, what do you think of giving her an extendable staff like Robin from Teen Titans?
She needs something to help her fight crime other than a black belt in Karate.
I think the gloves could work– though, you should keep in mind what could happen if she were to loose them/break them during a battle. Or what if someone stole them? Or accidentally tried them on? The intrigue goes on…
Melee weapons are nice, I think. Robin was the more bad-a with one; and one of my leads also has a bo staff. Using that should be fine, but have you thought about other melee weapons? There are maces, hammers, nunchucks, swords (another character of mine may use one– still debating that), whips, boomerangs; and does it have to be extendable? These are just suggestions though.
Is she a thinker? Does she lay traps for her foes? There are other ways to bring down crime.
I assume she’ll have superstrength and maybe some agility as well. I don’t think she needs a weapon.
Dforce said: “There are maces, hammers, nunchucks, swords (another character of mine may use one– still debating that), whips, boomerangs; and does it have to be extendable?”
It depends on the series. If it’s a typical fantasy series, swords are well-accepted.
However, for a few philosophical reasons I can discuss at frightening length, blood-letting weapons are problematic in modern superhero stories. The short version is that most superheroes are vigilantes and drawing blood is extremely unseemly for a vigilante. It crosses a moral line that makes many readers feel uncomfortable. In contrast, readers generally don’t care much for the moral norms of a fantasy society. The regular authorities are probably controlled by the evil Empire, anyway.
Some modern superhero stories try to use swords without drawing blood, but it’s generally awkward. For example, the TMNT cartoons bend over backwards to keep Leonardo from drawing blood. (This is one of the reasons that the Turtles fight foot soldiers and other mechanical mooks more often than Shredder and other living beings).
Okay, for one of my heroes, the one that controls heat, in my original draft a few years ago, he was ridiculously overpowered in comparison to the one that controlled light. So, I’ve redone his powers, and I’ve decided to make him manipulate heat, but not the temperature, so that, if the setting is at room temperature, he can force the heat to clump up at one certain area, so that certain area becomes very hot, but the surroundings become cold. And if he’s in a really cold area, and his friends are freezing to death, the only way he can help is by expunging his own body heat.
Is that a good weakness?
How often will this weakness come into play?
I think it will come in play quite often.
I want to make a hero but I don’t know what powers to give him, I want him to be a cross between Deadpool, Batman, Spiderman, Wolverine and possibly Bane.
I was wondering if you guys could give me some powers for him and maybe a background story. Oh and by the way, his name is Assassin.
Hello, Solar. I notice that the five heroes you named tend to rely on melee-based powers with a minor twist (claws for Wolverine, webs for Spiderman, gadgets for Batman, etc). So I’d recommend something similar for you: a character that does most of his fighting in melee but has an exotic minor power for style and versatility. What would you think about wind control, fire control or minor telekinesis?
What’s his personality like? That will help me come up with an origin story that suits him.
I made my hero, Assassin
He can
Teleport
Superhuman strength, speed, stamina, durability, agility and reflexes
Bone manipulation
Invisiblity
Self-Healing
I really want to give him more, I want him to be like Deadpool in a way.
I was wondering if you could give him more improved powers and maybe a better name.
Thanks.
What he has right now is plenty, I think. In fact, he’s probably too powerful to be easily challenged right now, especially with super-strength, -durability and -speed.
A healing factor doesn’t seem to fit in with his powers well. I’d recommend dropping that. Also, teleportation might make it too easy to escape, and seems useless when he already has invisibility. I would suggest you drop that, too.
I’d get rid of at least some of the superhuman factors, too. Ideally, you want powers that go together logically. Right now, I’m not seeing much of a connection between these things.
I think speed and teleportation overlap a lot. I’d recommend getting rid of one or the other (preferably speed).
I’d recommend getting rid of invisibility; I think it will make your stealth scenes less dramatic. Also, it will be too easy for him to escape from a losing battle. (This is another problem with teleportation and super-speed).
Healing could work, but I’d recommend giving it parameters so that there’s actually something at stake for him in battle. (For example, there’s a limit to how much he can heal, it takes him a long time to heal, he can’t heal his way out of death, etc). If readers think that nothing bad can happen to him, the fights will probably be pretty boring. I’m not very familiar with Deadpool, but I’m pretty sure that his ability to heal is really restricted.
I agree that Assassin might be a bit too direct. The only synonym that seems faintly workable is Hitman, which has already been used by a video game of the same name. I could probably come up with something better if I knew something about his personality. What’s he like?
Assassin is mental, this causes him to act pretty stupid, make jokes all the time and making him normally doing things without thought.
I’ve made a few changes to Asssassin.
Superhuman strength (strength of 10 men), speed (of ten men), durability (same) agility and refelxes. He has had his brain altered giving him perfect accuracy and intelligence (at a cost of his sanity turning him sadistic).
Bone manipulation, he can made any form, shape or size of bones come out of his body like swords, knives or even hammers(this will still hurt)
Assassin’s strength and abilities also increase with pain e.g. If he was punched, the pain would make him physically stronger.
He has self-healing. This can heal his wounds but it uses up his energy so if he is all out of energy, his wound would heal but very very very slowly.
Oh I forgot, because of his bloodline. Assassin aka. Maverick. Is a kinesis, thus giving him the power of Kinesis (Telekinesis, Hydrokinesis ect) allowing him to manipulate virtually almost anything. But barely.
Marrow from X-Men was the original bone manipulator. I felt bad for her because when she was a kid she couldn’t control it and it was extremely painful.
So Assassin has:
-Superstrength
-Superspeed
-Enhanced durability, agility, reflexes, accuracy, and intelligence
-Bone Manipulation
-A slew of kinetic abilities
I think he’s still a bit overpowered. I’d recommend removing the superstrength and superspeed. Now it seems that he has a power for every situation, which makes for uncreative scenes.
So he can manipulate bones
Self-healing which is not automatic
and Enhanced durability, agility, reflexes, accuracy, and intelligence
I hope that works
I was actually thinking of a new superhero who has this mysterious program on his computer which allows him to create different kinds of superheroes through data, he can then transfer them to his braclet and transform into them for 30 minutes. How’s that.
My story is about a teenage boy who recieves this package in the mail, it is later revealed to be from his crazy grandfather. He reads the hologram and then runs the program on his computer.
once he plugs in his bracelet (which is also a USB) he downloads a hero and accidently destroys the town. When the government find out that he has the weapon, they make another one and give it a boy who uses it to hunt, and then the battle to the last blood begins.
I think I really need to improve this.
My story is called the 13th Assassin (which is him) he is suppose to be the 13th one which means he’s evolved past the other 12. So in a way. He’s supposed to be overpowered.
“He’s supposed to be overpowered.” Ok, but please keep in mind that if he is much more powerful than everyone else, the fights probably won’t be very interesting. There has to be some chance he can lose.
I meant to say that he is stronger than the other 12 assassins but he’s nowhere as skilled as they are. And he doesn’t fully understand the true potential of his powers.
I was thinking of calling my story ‘The 13th Assassin and the Gauntlet of Areas (God of War)’
In this story, the assassins learn of the 14th Assassin who is a clone of the 13th, but with no hair and all of their powers. When he gets released he has no intention of helping the Assassins. Upon learning of the Gauntlet of Ares, the 14th Assassin sets out to find it. When the other Assassins learn of this, they search for him and confront him battle and get absolutely smashed! Because he is created out of their DNA.
Once he goes to Egypt and finds the Gauntlet, he makes an endless legion of warriors that run amok. The 12 Assassins agree to fight the Army while 13th fights the 14th, now called ‘War’
The 13th Assassin and War battle on a pyramid; the 13th assassin can’t seem to win. Assassin eventually beats him by slicing off the arm that holds the Gauntlet with a bone sword. But he doesn’t die due to his self healing. Assassin then puts the gauntlet on and creates a portal to a war world which sucks War in, thus ending his terror.
What do ya think.
Hi. I was thinking of writing a story or novel about a boy. It’s set in the distant future. Lark is a multi-trillionaire’s son that is good at almost everything. One day, his Dad pulled a publicity stunt by hiring terrorist to plant a few bombs at a charity event which Lark was attending. Lark goes to give money for charity when he is caught in the explosion.
His father repents and tries to save his son but none of the top scientists can help Lark, who is barely managing to survive with hardly any organs or limbs. His father goes back to the terrorist because there is no one who can help him now. He pays the terrorist kingpin millions of pounds to fix him but they do much more than that.
They fix him but also turn him into a living weapon machine. They tell him that if he tells the police, Lark has a massive atomic bomb which is enough to rip a hole in the solar system. So they use the new and powered Lark to win a massive war against Russia and the USA. When Lark escapes and removes the bomb from his body, he plans to stop the Kingpin and end his ways no matter what.
Is this a good story plot.
Hey, I got an idea for a fantasy character. Like most of my character’s he’s a little flamboyant, but he’s a little different from the other. His real name is Ari Rivera, his alias is Wardancer. Like all of my protaganists he is a skinny artist, a dancer. He’s drafted into the king’s army, but runs away from the obligation. While trying to travel away fromt he searching parties he doesn’t realize that he’s headed right towards enemy territory. Somewhere along the way, he gain two accomplices, learns to augment his dancing with magic, and fights his way deeper into the enemy heartland. He’s eventually caught by the king’s special forces and ultimately joins the king to stop the baddie.
What makes Ari different from my other characters is that he isn’t that impulsive and is a perfectionist, although he’s a good improviser. Not that different, but he is a little.
I haven’t thought it out much, but that’s a general idea.
-The dancing feels like it’s been tacked on just because. In contrast, I thought Adrian’s acting skills were a vital part of his character and added a lot to the story.
- I don’t get the impression this character is important enough to have search parties after him (and if they’re at war, that would be a waste of manpower). He’d probably be worth a small bounty, so bounty hunters seem more likely.
- Reality check: three people in enemy territory would either not do very much or be killed quickly. Also, I thought he was trying to distance himself from the war?
- This character doesn’t strike me as important enough to fight alongside the king, ignoring the fact that a king probably wouldn’t go near the battlefield.
- As a deserter, he’d probably be shot upon recapture.
I’m sort of confused about the scale of this conflict. The involvement of the king and drafting suggests it’s a huge, nation-vs-nation thing (possibly allied nations against one another). However, the importance of this one character (why is he so important?) and the idea of being pursued into enemy terroitory (or so I imply) suggests a small scale conflict that’s probably mostly political. What did you have in mind?
Hello, Lord of Darkness. I’d kind of have to see how you executed this, but I have a few reservations so far.
–The main character does not seem to have much of a personality yet. Things happen to him. He goes to the charity event, is passively blasted by his father, is passively turned into a machine, etc. So there’s not much that he chooses to do. In contrast, I think that the most compelling superhero origins use the personality and choices of the characters. For example, Daredevil threw himself in the way of an oncoming truck to save a pedestrian, Wonder Woman chose to disobey her mother by secretly competing to represent the island abroad, Spiderman initially chose not to use his superpowers and it got his uncle killed, etc. In contrast, it feels like your hero is pretty much forced to be a superhero.
–”Lark… is good at almost everything.” It sounds like he’s kind of a Mary Sue, an overpowered character that might be hard to challenge.
–It feels kind of flimsy to me that the father decides to kill his son for publicity and then has second-thoughts. Or that he has to turn to the terrorists to heal his son. (I can’t see why terrorists would know more about medicine than the world’s best doctors).
–Even though it’s a bit cheesy, I kind of like the angle of a father trying to kill his son. I think a better reason might help, though.
I agree with Holliequ that the dancing is much less smooth here than Adrian’s acting was. I think military dancers would probably make more sense in a video game (like Fire Emblem) than a novel or comic book. You could probably swap out dancing for singing for a slightly more serious tone. (Also, I think singing would play slightly better among males– I suspect that men might pass on a story about magical dancing).
I’m not sure what your time’s time-frame is like, but if it’s something like the medieval era, then I think it would make sense that the king is personally commanding his troops. (That was standard practice until the 1600s or so).
I agree that the king’s special forces would need some compelling reason to let him rejoin rather than just instantly kill him. Perhaps they plan to use him as a double-agent.
I applied to Marvel today.
Does he need an alias?
I’m not sure how interesting perfectionism would be. Can you come up with several situations over the course of a book where perfectionism will cause him to make a mistake?
Improvisation is interesting.
I agree that he’d probably have low-level searchers out after him rather than special forces, unless he’s done something particularly important.
I have an idea for a fictional character. He’s an alien from a distant planet but I can’t quite think of a name yet. I can’t really explain it but like his race, he can empathize with any living organism to take on their characteristics and skills. For example, if he was to empathize with a cat. He would be just like a cat, like its flexibility and retractable claws or even its strength. He can also take the pain (or any other emotion or feeling) of a living thing and suffer it instead.
His name is Gallantry, he is the protagonist and he’s a massive universe-known criminal who is on the run from the universal police forces. He is 14 years old. He sought refuge on a white pale planet due to his ship being damaged but he didn’t know that it was prohibited to enter that planet because of the creatures that inhabit it.
When he lands on the Godforsaken planet, he spends a long time being pursed by savage monsters. Some time later, his is rescued by a team of heroes who crash-land on the planet and need someone to escort them back to their ship. He is the only one who knows around the place.
He helps them get back and as a reward they offer him to join the team, he refuses at first but them accepts upon learning that they can clean his record.
Now part of the team their Captain eventually dies in Gallantry’ hands from an accident and asks him to be their new captain.
Time passes. Gallantry must stop a warlord from creating millions of black holes which he can manipulate.
Despite his name, Gallantry is actually quite a coward. He spends most of his time stealing money from banks through satellites because he too scared to do it there himself. His father left him to stop a universal war from happening and his mother died while giving birth to him.
I wonder if this is any good.
It’s a good concept. However, if he is a coward and a thief, I doubt the heroes would ask him to be the new captain. Also, he is the newcomer. I mean, is there any reason why they would ask him to be the captain? And what about the second in command? The role of captain would automatically fall to him, not the newcomer.
I mean, that’s like the President dying in B. Mac’s arms and everyone turning to him and saying “well, we don’t know much about you but be our President. Here’s the Red Button.”
In summary, it’s a good idea and plot but just fill out those little holes and it should be fine.
B. Mac for President!
In all seriousness, I think your character could come across as a Chosen One and/or Mary Sue. He’s destined to stop the universe? Wanted criminal at age 14 and able to hack into banks?
I also don’t like how this team of heroes can get rid of his criminal record. That seems far too convenient to me.
That said, I like his cowardice. If he does have a hand in saving the universe, I think this could make for some interesting scenes. Alternatively, it could be hilarious in a comedy novel. “Cowardly thief destined to save the universe” definitely strikes me as something with potential for humour. Especially if the ship’s crew are all hero stereotypes themselves.
“In all seriousness, I think your character could come across as a Chosen One and/or Mary Sue. He’s destined to stop the universe? Wanted criminal at age 14 and able to hack into banks?”
I agree wholeheartedly with this. I could maybe, kind of see a 14 year-old being taken along on a crew if he has some useful skills. (Stories have some leeway to get a really young protagonist involved). However, when he gets the captain killed, I can’t think of any good reasons that they’d turn to him.
–He’s really young and the newcomer.
–He doesn’t seem to know all that much about running a ship.
–He’s a major-league criminal and they’re heroes.
–He got the captain killed! Admittedly, by accident, but still he’s the most responsible.
–The skills he brings to the table (being familiar with the planet and hacking) have nothing to do with running a ship.
–He’s a coward.
–He hasn’t done anything to deserve it, at least as far as I can tell.
Also, I’d recommend giving him a name that fits him better. Ironic names (like a giant named Tiny) are usually kind of weak.
As i said before, Argos can empathaize with any living creature. His right arm is made out of Cratuim (just made it up now) which is sentient living organism and the 10th hardest alloy in the north galaxy. It can made constucts out of solid light energy and can fire energy streams. He has a board which can hover a few metres above the ground and has an arseanl of weapons.
Galactus does something slightly similar, I’m unsure if this has occurred in manga, though.
How did Galactus do it? I want to make sure I’m not ripping it off I promise I didn’t just read some marvel comics and rip it off of him. As for manga I’ve seen a lot but there’s always somone who knows more. And have there ever been superheros who become omnipotent by the end of their series?
I’m not exactly sure how it goes, but I remember he makes holes to the planet’s core and them sucks them dry. It’s usually explosive.
I’m unsure about an omnipotent superhero. Wouldn’t it ruin all the suspense?
“And have there ever been superheros who become omnipotent by the end of their series?” The best example I can think of is the Sentry. He is a widely hated Marvel character. In fact, he is so widely hated that there are websites and forums devoted to hating him and understanding why so many people hate him.
Here, I’ll cherry-pick some choice quotes.
“He’s unbeatable. And ridiculously overpowered. A character THAT powerful is not an interesting character.”
“I was indifferent to Sentry as a character because I recognize that his longevity as a long-term character is about the same as a condom in Anna Nicole Smith’s pocketbook.”
“The Sentry’s complete lack of originality spurs off a lot of comic fans, both Marvel and DC alike. Marvel fans don’t like him because he’s too much like Superman and they don’t want a Superman in Marvel. DC fans don’t like him because he’s a complete rip-off of Superman and they already have a Superman.”
I need help on improving a new superhero I made.
Gaia
James has the ability to draw energy, nutrients and power directly from the Earth itself giving him the ability to control the earth and virtual omnipotence.
Real name: Trex
Supervillian name: Parosol
Place of birth: Planet Solaris
Citizenship: Tronia
Occupation: Intergalactic mercenary
Abilities: Energy sourcing Ability to draw power from large or small but abundant sources of energy, such as turning kinetic energy into physical blasts or converting solar energy into other forms. Sometimes based on proximity to source, sometimes stored for future use.
Race: Novaras
Height: 6’3
Weight: 159 lbs
Eyes: grey
Hair: White.
this my supervillian so what do u think
Ok, I’m planning to write a superhero novel. I’ve had the idea in my head for quite some time, even before I found this site. I would like to know what you think about this idea.
Ok, my main character’s name is David or Jason. He is 18 years old. His father was a pilot in the air force but tragically dies when his plane crashes over the middle east during one of the skirmishes over there. David/Jason takes the loss pretty hard.
David/Jason’s father’s belongings are sent back to the family. David/Jason begins to rummage through his fathers belongings before his mother. In the belonging are two Desert Eagles. David takes the pistols without his mother noticing and sneaks them to his bedroom. While in his room David/Jason begins to think about his father. Every time he tries to remember his father only one thing comes to mind. He was a hero. He died a hero. This puts the thought into David/Jason’s mind that he should become a hero. The thought crosses his mind, but he shrugs the thought to the back of his mind because he feels it might be too dangerous.
Two months later David/Jason begins to hear about a string of robberies in his neighborhood. He doesn’t think to much about this until the next night his house gets burgled. All his mother’s jewelry and his fathers medals had been stolen. The police are unable to find the serial robbers. This makes David/Jason angry and frustrated that the police and he cannot retrieve his father’s war medals. During lunch time at school one day, David sits at an unwanted table near the math nerds at his school.
Without anything to do, David/Jason ends up eavesdropping on the nerds’ conversation. Most of what they are saying flies over David/Jason’s head until the nerds begin to talk about the recent burglaries. The obvious leader of the group begins to brag that he has figured out the pattern that the robbers are using to pick their next houses. One of the nerds’ friends challenges him about this knowledge and dares him to prove it. The leader nerd is very proud and enjoys showing off so he explains that the robbers have a formula they use on the number of the previous house the burgled. After the formula has been applied this gives them the house and street number of the next place they are to burgle. David/Jason sees this as his chance to get his father’s medals back.
After going back home and applying the formula, David/Jason discovers the address of the next place to be robbed. So David/Jason dresses himself up so that his identity is kept a secret. He retrieves the two Desert Eagles from their hiding spot, cleans them, loads them and tucks them into his messenger bag. Every night David/Jason watches the building which is to be burgled next. After about the third night just as David/Jason is starting to lose hope. The robbers appear. David/Jason follows them into the building and attempts to stop them from robbing the place. He is easily overcome by the many robbers and is quickly captured. The robbers continue to loot the place until they come to one room in particular.
In the center of the room is a large machine that perks the robbers’ curiosity. The leader of the robbers begins to inspect the machine. He is unable to determine what the machine does. So to determine whether or not the machine is worth stealing the leader decides to strap David/Jason into the machine to see what happens. David/Jason is strapped in and the machine is quickly started. After a few moments David/Jason begins to scream as spikes begin to come out of the machine and puncture David/Jason/s hands. After a couple of minutes one of the robbers finds a report on one of the desks in the room. It seems that the machine was built to give a person control over time. Hearing this, the leader tells his henchmen to stop the machine. The machine is stopped before it can finish the bonding process. David/Jason has passed out from the pain and has gone limp.
Jason wakes up the next morning in a hospital bed, but he isn’t in a hospital. It turns out that the scientists who had been working on the time manipulation project had found him. Because the bonding process had not been completed yet the machine hadn’t closed up the holes that it had made. Because of this time energy is leaking out of David/Jason’s wrists and palms. So the scientists came up with a pair of gloves that David has to wear. Otherwise, the time energy will destroy anything it comes in contact with. Through the gloves, David can create small bubbles in which he can manipulate time. Without the gloves, David can’t control the time energies which are leaking out. David’s nemesis is the leader of the robbers who had stolen the machine and used it on himself. The bonding process has completely finished on the robber allowing him to control time in a larger area and without the aid of the gloves.
Hmm. Here are a few thoughts and observations…
I feel like the plot is contrived in a few significant ways. For example, the main character just happens to eavesdrop on a conversation that leads him to the burglars, the nerds have this information but don’t report it to the cops, the house the burglars are in the process of robbing just happens to contain this extraordinary technology, the robbers just happen to take him alive rather than kill him, etc.
The best way to get rid of contrivance is to add a cause that comes from one of the characters, usually the main character. So, for example, instead of the character randomly eavesdropping on the conversation, I’d have him seek out the nerds and convince or make them figure out a pattern. I understand why he wouldn’t want to tell the cops where the burglars are going to strike (he wants first crack at them), but I think it would help to explain why the nerds don’t tell the cops. Or maybe they do tell the cops and the cops don’t listen. (That sounds plausible).
The plot sounds a bit routine but workable. My main concern is that the main character doesn’t feel like he has much of a personality (outside of his desire to honor his father) and the villain doesn’t seem to have much style or ambition, as far as I can tell.
I feel like the Desert Eagles are a bit of a red herring, foreshadowing something that never really happens. They suggest that the character is going to be a gritty, Punisher-like hero. However, it sounds like he never manages to shoot anyone and ends up with a power that will probably be PG or PG-13 rather than a hard R. The problem here is that the readers that are looking for a PG or PG-13 hero will probably be put off by the guns, and fans of series like the Punisher are probably going to be disappointed if it turns out that he doesn’t really use the guns much.
I hope that helped. Would you like a review forum?
–B. Mac
One thing to add to that- control over time. How far does that power go? If he can time travel you may want to rethink that. If he can go forwards and backwards by a few seconds at most then it’s fine. Basically you can’t have the guy undoing deaths via time-travel, but you can have him using some kind of limited precogniton to fight.
If his main way of fighting is using his powers to age things that will be very interesting.
Ill think it over about the circumstances and try and make it sound a bit more plausible. About his powers. He isn’t able to travel through time because the bubbles he make are only about the size of a football. About the aging thing that was prominent in my mind as what he would do with the powers. He would also be able to speed up or slow down objects that are falling. A problem that kept occurring to me about the aging thing would be that he could just create a bubble over a persons body part and age it really fast until it died and dropped off. But I don’t think my character is going to be that coldblooded.
I came up with this story like 5 years ago and I think it was around the time when I was playing duke nukem or some such game in which they where using Desert Eagles. So I think cause I liked using them in the game that I would put them in my superheros hands. Now I’m thinking that I might get rid of them, or that David refuses to use them because of a moral obligation to himself and his father. It was originally going to be that he would create time bubbles around the bullets which would increase their speed making them unseen and fast.
Well David would be the kind of no nonsense hero. He hates having to explain things more than once. And gets frustrated when people do not understand something that he thinks is so simple to comprehend. oops gotta go pst rest later
“Let me out you pathetic human” Troy began shaking and screaming and a moment later it all stop sudden everything was quite peaceful and calm again. Troy sighed with relief the nightmare is over as he was resting his head on the pillow the voices started all over again. “Together we can destroy them just let me out, you inferior specie” the voices in Troy’s head were getting louder and louder like drums in a rhythm. Troy sat up again sweating and looking all confused, scared and absolutely freaked out “Troy are you alright honey? His mother called out. Troy still confused didn’t hear his mum but he did notice something weird on his finger, his finger was glowing blue a ring placed on his middle finger was glowing getting brighter and brighter by a second.
Blue lights were flashing inside Troy’s room and it was bound to be noticed, his mum Teresa who was going to the bathroom noticed the lights she slowly starts to walk towards Troy’s room and knocks on the wooden door with a huge transformers poster on the front “open up Troy I’m worried about you, please son” Teresa whispered in the calmest voice as possible. “ I hope you can hear that another bug standing in our way and you know what to do to bugs, crush them” the voices in Troy’s head now sounding clearer and clearer this was not a nightmare it was something else dark tormenting Troy.
It was the most excruciating moment in his life and he could do nothing to change what just happened. The pain seemed to be intensifying ten-fold every second and wouldn’t stop, it raced through his spine and across his entire body until he felt like an empty shell of guilt. His heart pumped incredibly hard as he cried a river inside. He knows he couldn’t but his heart tells him that he could have made a difference, or maybe just get killed as well. His fist began to clench firm, tighter and tighter he clenched until, because of his own stubbornness not to let go. Blood poured out of his hand as water would pour out a tap. He lifted his head up to see the criminal who shot his parents with antagonism. The criminal gazed at him before running away but something stopped him. There was something evil in Zeke’s eyes, something that had a power to stop the thief in his tracks and caused his body to completely freeze and stand in the same spot motionless. Zeke stared into the thief’s eyes, but something wasn’t right. The thief could see it but couldn’t quite place his finger on. He tried but couldn’t, he want to say how sorry his was but Zeke said something. He said something he wouldn’t normally say “I’m going to kill you!” the criminal was so shocked that he showed signs of life in his body “How dare you kill my parents! HOW DARE YOU!!!” Zeke’s eyes were beginning to turn black, the tears which ran down his face were black and the criminal’s eyes were black. The criminal was shaking continuously as if he was having a fit and it sounded like he was struggling to breathe until he just collapsed. He fell to the floor like a ragdoll and showed no signs of movements. But Zeke knew exactly what happened. He knew he just killed the criminal who just killed his parents simply by looking at him. The tears ran down his face even faster until he could nothing but scream to the sky.
Seriously, I really don’t think you should be doing this,” Isaac said to Zeke. His voice was cowardly shaking, he was stuttering. Zeke knew he was petrified, but he didn’t want to say anything. He could just laugh, Jason. Was and still is the toughest guy in the orphanage, no one could say anything to well, except Zeke. “Zeke, are you so stupid or was you just born like this? Look at me, asking an idiot a question he already knows the answer to” Isaac’s voice began to deepen, showing how frustrated and angry he was with his spoiled friend “Jason, stop been so paranoid. Look man I’ll get you out of this. I always do” For a reason this made him even more angry because every time Zeke gets Isaac and himself into trouble, he never seems bothered. It actually finds it rather amusing.
Actually, whilst I’m thinking about it, I’d like to run a few supers past you too. (Does anybody remember that story from the POV of a dead superhero I was thinking about? Yeah, I’m thinking about it a little more. I’m a bad, bad person, but I’m stuck in a rut with Victor and Zoe. I’m kinda hoping this will kickstart my creative juices or something.)
Spook (Jonas Miller)
Very strong ESP, which includes chanelling, astral projection, communication with the dead, and weak precognition. (Also teleporting after he dies.)
For personality, I’m thinking sarcastic and serious, but bordering anti-social. Being friends with ghosts for most of your life will do that to you.
(Dies at the beginning, so he’d probably only use teleporting and astral projection. Precognition might be mentioned, and the chanelling is a major plot point. I’m also well aware of the likability issues, but I think being a Deadpan Snarker could cover that one until more likable characters get introduced.)
Cinder (Leslie York)
Your basic fire-powered superhero. Heat manipulation abilities too.
Personality: senstitive, mostly calm, confidant, helpful. Also unquestioning of authority and a little too willing to compromise on the moral front. (Yes, a fire-based superhero who isn’t hot-headed, brash and arrogant!)
Spectrum (Terence Craig)
Manipulation of the electromagnetic spectrum – stuff like invisibility, X-ray vision, infra-red vision, etc.
Methodical, eloquent, intelligent and charming, but self-centred and arrogant. I’m thinking he’ll be a traitor and the one responsible for Spooks’ death.
(Not too sure about this guy’s name or powers. I’m open to change on this one, but I want something sneaky that could be powerful, but not over-powerful).
Asclepius (Sean Brady)
Poison creation, super-agility and a healing factor, but not a particularly powerful one. (Asclepius was the Greek god of healing, and fond of using snakes.)
Reformed criminal. Dutiful, confidant and blunt, but also secretive, aggressive, critical and sometimes reckless. He’ll probably be my friendly neighbourhood badass, but with a really strict moral code. Slightly ironic given that he used to be a criminal, but then again he did pick a god as his alias.
The Ripper (Doyle D. Brannigan)
Bone manipulation, super-durability (NOT invulnerable), very minor healing factor (only because of the bone thing).
Disinterested, arrogant but cautious, smug, and ever-so-slightly unstable. Will probably serve as the Big Bad. I wanted him to be very hard to kill and also to have a power that was slightly creepy.
What do you think? Should I start over, tweak, prepare to be laughed at or other?
Naming a character after a minor Greek god? What a daft idea!
Oh, wait… never mind.
Not too fond of Spectrum. Main reason is that I’m concerned with labeling the power as ‘control over the electromagnetic spectrum’. Theoretically this can involve the ability to emit enough gamma radiation to kill someone in an instant. Also it’s a pretty vague power. Can this person send radio signals to people? Can they blind people with intense light? Do they have heat vision? Superman has limited control over the EM Spectrum, with his infra-red (heat) vision and X-ray vision. You may want to consider that.
Tread carefully with that power…
“Theoretically this can involve the ability to emit enough gamma radiation to kill someone in an instant.”
Yeah, that occurred to me. He can’t emit gamma radiation in a huge amount like that. If he were to ever come across gamma radiation, he could control it, but he can’t create it. Also, gamma isn’t particularly dangerous in small doses, so he couldn’t use it to kill somebody in a fight.
Radio signals – he’d have to have some way of producing the radio waves. And the other person would have to have a way of recieveing them.
Intense light – no. He could probably divert light away from the eyes, if he concentrated really, really hard.
Heat vision – isn’t the same as infra-red? (If no, I didn’t do the research, I guess . . .)
Any other suggestions of powers that might fit this character? I think I’ll probably need to keep the invisibility. Anything that would pair neatly with that?
I would highly recommend cutting out a lot of those powers. I’d say that all of ‘Superhuman strength, speed, agility, durability and longevity flight Telepathic and bioelectrical powers, undersea adaptation, stamina, Extra resistance to heat/energy based attacks, enhanced senses,, healing factor’ can go because it doesn’t seem to git with his theme. Even removing all of those is not enough, he is wy too overpowered. Does he have any limits to his powers?
Also, why so many aliases? One is sufficent but if you want more, make them variations on the main one. For example, Spiderman is colloquially known as Spidey.
His history sounds a bit cliched and boring. What makes his background different from all the other heroes who are sent from the home because of war?
What about his personality? It seems to have been neglected in favour of the list of powers.
I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Brit on everything.
Whoa, that’s quite a ridiculous laundry list of powers. I would strongly recommend cuting about 75% of those.
Ha, we both have water users. Go Aquarius!
This is my hero background so what kind of hero do u think he is
History
Nahla the King of the Kingdom Brimlad first appearance on the surface world is when he nearly started war with the world considering he thought people from the surface world poison and pollute his kingdom because of dumping toxic waste in the waters of Pacific ocean although he was impelled to stop his invasion in return of an agreement that the surface world wouldn’t dump toxic waste in the waters of the pacific ocean any more. He later came to the surface world to fight alongside the surface world warriors to stop an alien invasion only because it presented danger to his beloved kingdom of Brimlad.
Personality
He likes a good battle and quick to engage in a fight. Caring but only to his kind, not a lovely person to be around as his always serious and ill-tempered, unsocial as he never has time to meet and socializing as he is always training, takes his role serious always wants to lead and in some way can be a little bit selfish, autocratic, fearless and above all quick to impose authority to people.
That sounds a lot more interesting. I like the pollution angle. I also feel that him coming to the surface the first time would be an excellent way to introduce the character before exploring the main plot of the alien invasion.
He has a very unsocial personality so I think you should create a good foil for him. An example of a good foil would be Foreman to House in House MD or Seres to Alucard in Hellsing. Someone who contrasts their personality and provides a more normal, gentler character. Perhaps a human who he is forced to work with in order to present himself as an ally of the human population.
Overall, that’s greatly improved. I still think he needs fewer powers and some sort of limit, but you have a much more interesting character than before. My only question is why does he go to the surface? A fairly simple explanation could be that his society looks to the king to fight for them and take a very active role as opposed to our leaders, who direct troops.
Hmm. By my count, we have 13 sets of powers that readers will have to remember. (I’ve listed them at the bottom of this comment).
I think if you’re serious about getting this published, you will probably go farther if you remove all but two or three. Even Superman has only five or so, and that grab-bag approach to powers has kind of gone out of style in the last 30 or 40 years. Can you think of any superheroes that have been published in the last 20 years with this many powers? Except for the Sentry and a few other heroes that are possibly meant to be criticisms of Superman, I can’t.
–superstrength/durability/stamina
–speed
–agility
–longevity
–telepathic powers
–bioelectrical powers
–undersea adaptation/swimming
–heat/energy resistance
–healing
–water manipulation
–some form of possession based on water manipulation
–weather control
–flight
–enhanced senses (I didn’t count these because pretty much everyone has them)
For Superman, I counted these five:
–superstrength/durability
–speed
–eye-beams
–cold-breath
–flight
–I didn’t count his enhanced senses or x-ray vision.
I thought of a new superhero/villain (a little bit). His name is Deity and he comes from a alien God race called the Consecrated. The plot of my story is that England has a secret organization called the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. They deal with all the alien history and cover it up. It’s also a home for runaway aliens who came to Earth. The leader ‘????? General’ created it and uses it as a way to invade other countries. One day when he helps to stop an alien criminal, the race give him a baby but none of them know he is a powerful God of the universe. As time goes on, ????? General begins to connect with the child and adopts him as his own. But once his witnesses the boys power he begins to manipulate him in order to invade and take over other countries and Deity doesn’t know any better. Some time later, Deity begins to question his existence and starts to stand up to his father. Because Deity was little at the time, his father made him believe he was saving the world and gave his Dad a number of powers including immortality and control over all forms of energy and radiation. In the final confrontation when Deity tries to stop his father from releasing a legion of highly advanced spacecrafts to take over USA his steps in resulting in an unpleasant confrontaion between father and son.
My characters are Deity who can manipulate matter, reality and time. He is also stronger than your average human and is immortal. Lastly, he wields the power of unlimited energy and radiation, he can transmute objects and change their make like turning paper into gold. Due to his fathers tricks and tactics. He can only use his power when in wars.
There is his father who has the powers above.
His friend Zeke, who is his first friend and alien, he was given shapeshifting abilities by Deity and also bone manipulation. Molecule manipulation and telepathy.
What’d you think.
@ WING BEAST
That is a whole lot of powers. I’d try to stick with two (Ian has flight and physical healing), or have one that can be used in many different ways (Connor’s aura manipulation is pretty creative: he can form shields, has aura blasts, can read emotions and tell if someone is lying, etc).
Why not just keep this set: –undersea adaptation/swimming
–water manipulation
–some form of possession based on water manipulation
–healing
As I have told my sister countless times, a character with flight AND super speed seems kind of (not the word I’m looking for) redundant? Same to water powers AND fire powers.
Keep it simple,
-Wings
Warblade, I’m really fond of organisations that have acronyms which form words. What does S.P.E.C.T.R.E. stand for? And could it be shortened to just SPECTRE? I’m also not certain how your general uses the organisation to invade other countries. Could you elaborate?
Since your character can manipulate matter AND reality AND time, he can basically do anything and it’s hard to challenge him. And being stronger than the average human is really kind of redundant next to his godly powers.
The general uses the organisation to turn runaway aliens into supersoldiers. He would then use them to invade other countries. Deity may have power but he can’t use it for his own needs due to his father’s mind games. I’m not really sure what S.P.E.C.T.R.E. stands for. It just sounds nice.
If you don’t know what it means, ditch it. People probably won’t accept an acronym unless they know what it means or are assured that there is a meaning they will learn eventually (for example, the CHERUB books. The titular CHERUB organisation is an acronym but only the first two words are known, the rest having been lost over time). Do not keep it because it sounds nice, give it a meaning.
I’ve changed it around a bit, how’s this.
His race is a god race, they have all the power in the universe (including Deity) but they don’t use it because of their nature. They only use their powers to for the needs of other living beings not themselves. Instead of S.P.E.C.T.R.E. I’ve changed it to I.A.O which stands for International Alien Organisation.
What’d you think of this.
Tom, I don’t think it was revealed in story but the author has confirmed that those are indeed the first two words.
Hey, everyone. I just wanted to know what people think of the superhero I’m creating. He can make a forcefield around his body (like an invisible second skin) that can withstand any force but at a cost of becoming extremely exhausted. He can also shoot his forcefields to do a variety of things from knocking back enemies to devastating small buildings. His forcefields give him superhuman strength. I thought I’d give him a floors, so he has an extremely short temper.
What do you think?
Hola, Jammy J
You’re character seems very similar to the minor Marvel mutant Armor. She has pretty much the same ability. This could be a later issue, but I’m not sure. I like the concept, though.
Ola, Warblade, you said:
“His race is a god race, they have all the power in the universe (including Deity) but they don’t use it because of their nature. They only use their powers for the needs of other living beings not themselves.”
This feels like an internal obstacle, which are usually unsatisfying. I recommend having an actual limitation for their power use. You could do this like Bruce Almighty, in which his powers simply didn’t work when he tried to bend the rules.
Yeah. I kinda wanted them to be this pure race who has all the power but they cannot use it for their own needs. They just go around helping other people.
I actually came up with a new story about a boy, a prince. He’s a prince of a rich planet but was banished to a war planet due to him being incredibly spoilt. Upon arriving on the planet he is captured by some bounty hunters and forced to become a gladiator where he must fight vicious monsters for survival
I’m having trouble finding unique abilities for my characters, it takes awhile. The plot is sequenced properly, and the idea’s going in an unknown direction.
Kir: Female, a viral parasite(brings science to shame, sorry) that has sucessfully invaded the host’s brain and has taken over the conciousness of the body. There’s no struggle for mind-body control for most of the plot because the parasite has already ‘won’, I guess. Key notes:
The virus explanation:
-Hosts are ideally humans, but animals and plant beings are also infected sometimes.
-The parasite travels through the host’s bloodstream, passed on through bodily fluids. There are more than one parasite in the body, all compete to reach the brain first in order to gain control of the brain.
-The dominant parasite that reaches the brain first usually allows the other parasites to live within the host as well, and they must obey the dominant parasite in return.
-Since some parasites may linger in the bloodstream, when they are expelled out of the body inside the blood, they prioritize to enter a new host. The expelled blood will start moving rapidly to enter the bloodstream of another host through, let’s say, an injury or cut of the host.
Abilities:
-Kir(the dominant parasite takes on the identity of the host)can instruct the parasites into restructuring the host’s DNA. It takes a long period of time depending on how extreme the mutation is. Changing physical features(facial structure, eye colour) will take a few months. More complex traits(nearly inhuman speed, strength, faster regeneration)can take years.
-Again, depending on whether or not Kir orders it, faster regeneration is possible. Varies in speed, whether or not the injury involves complex restructuring.
Weaknesses/Disadvantages:
-Regrowth of a limb is impossible. Reattachment of the limbs possible if ordered.
-Probability that the DNA can screw up, turn into something undesirable.
-If Kir is mortally injury anywhere neck up, the entire body dies. If she cannot properly command the parasites, they won’t act and will escape out of the wound and into different hosts.
-Sleep deprivation, or else parasite Kir will lose conciousness of the body to another parasite, or to the original owner of Kir’s body, which would be Kir(what).
So as you can tell, too long. I need to simplify the abilities and limits. Can anyone please help fish out a few flaws as well? Thanks…
How does Kir and the other parasites travel when not inside a body? When Kir takes over the host’ body, what does she plan to do because she’s just a parasite?
I’m gonna show you a new piece of my story, It’s about a boy who is kidnapped to compete in a cosmic game to save the human race.
“Man, stop staring at her,” Ben whispered, lightly hitting Zeke on his head with his pencil. He waited for a response but Zeke was too lost in his head to even realise what was going on. Zeke had been crushing on Theresa and she only had been in the school for a couple of days. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was something about her would just make him smile without even realising. There was just this aura about her which made Zeke say ‘Someday, she is going to be my wife’ every time he laid eyes on her. He would always dream about her while sleeping; going bowling or even having a nice romantic dinner on a beach where you could see the colourful horizon. Sometimes on rare occasions he would start daydreaming about her doing stuff to him. Ben is really surprised that she has never actually seen Zeke staring at her like a predator watches its prey. Ben then softly punched Zeke in his arm “Seriously dude, you got to stop. You’re making me look bad” The love must have got to Zeke’s head because it seemed like he didn’t even feel it “Someday, she is going to—” Ben quickly cut him off as usual “be my wife, I get it” Zeke and Ben were long time friends, going back to even their birth. They were born on the same day at the same time, they like the same things, except their taste in women. Both Zeke and Ben are in year ten; despite the fact that they were held back a year because their horrible grades. They were students, kind of nerds a little in their own world. They both are too scared to disobey the teacher’s orders and always find ways to stand out in the crowd. “You’re not even listening to—,” Zeke quickly put his hand on Ben’s mouth “Isn’t she just an angel. I mean look at her. Her blond hair just dazzles me and her eyes. Oh my God. I wish you could feel what I’m feeling. You know what; I’m going to ask her out”
Before Zeke could blabber more and fantasise about Theresa the teacher slammed a thesaurus on her desk which most certainly got Zeke’s attention “Class is over guys, have a good weekend. Oh and remember to revise for the pop quiz on Monday because I can’t have kids scraping out a E” The teacher immediately looked at Zeke and locked eyes with his “Why do I have a weird feeling that he is directly that statement at me,” Zeke said as he looked at Ben giving him a What-Is-This-Guy-On look, a dim smile awoke on his face as he quickly ran to Theresa. “Hey Theresa,” She could immediately see the desperation in his eyes; it didn’t take her long to figure out what he was going to say. “I was wondering, if you’re not busy this week, maybe. You want—” She quickly interrupted “go out” Zeke paused and drifted away into her eyes. Her face was so sweet and innocent. He felt like touching her tanned skin. Zeke began to feel a bit embarrassed because he could feel something going on in his trousers “Um, Yeah. So, what’d you say”
RaggedBoy and Warblade:
How does Kir and the other parasites travel when not inside a body?
The virus doesn’t have much documented information in the universe, since the virus is relatively unknown and rarely detected. The parasites travel through fluids, higher potential of taking in a host during rainy season.
When Kir takes over the host’ body, what does she plan to do because she’s just a parasite?
The basic instinct for all parasites is to reproduce, and they all have a higher chance of survival if they find living hosts. While the parasites are typically simple-minded, Kir realizes how complex human life is. As a result, the curiosity deepends and she wants to fully become human by understanding their nature.
Backstory(warning: highly underdeveloped and non sequitur):
Chosen by the Sages, Kir is one of the many thousands instructed as gatekeepers to different destinations; parallel universes, time loops, unknown worlds. 232(a character’s name…yeah)discovers that the Sages prophecized that his technologically advanced world will perish(overpopulation, famine, disease), unless if they conquer all of the other worlds by using the gates. He is compelled to close all of the gates leading to his world, and goes on a journey to persuade the gatekeepers to close the portals.
Brief intro of main characters made up so far:
232: Male, roughly in his twenties. Can shapeshift into a murder of crows, able to spy from the crows’ point of views from different locations. Holds utilitarian philosophy greatly as a cultural belief; what will benefit the majority is the right decision. Selfless, but unable to think for himself.
Kir: Female, physical body 17, parasite is 5 yrs. Able to manipulate the host’s DNA into having any characteristic she wants. Still has trouble mastering human nature, wishes to learn more about others. Highly hedonistic and selfish, little sense of self-sacrifice.
Xo: Male, physical body in late 30s. Has pansociobiological linguistics; able to communicate with any natural organisms from bacterial strains to ancient oak trees. Previously a shaman to a tribe that was wiped out by a virus he instructed, because they kicked him out. Wants to return to civilization, after being alone for so long.
I’m hoping I’m not complicating anything too much, but thanks for the questions(didn’t think about them before).
Wow. This is pretty good. But i’m wondering, is the parasite the protagonist? If so, try to make her? more sympathetic. Parasites and symbiotes (see venom and carnage) are usually not too likeable. You could fix this by having the Kir-parasite learning more beneficent human traits or giving her more of a give-and-take partnership with her host, exchanging life and resources for enhanced brainpower and supernatural abilities perhaps.
Also, this might be more difficult, but if the Parasite personality and Kir’s natural personality became “friends” of a sort, then we could see mental arguing if the disagree on something, which would be kinda cool.
Just a few thoughts.
Brett:
It’s harder to make her the protagonist, but yes, parasite-Kir is the protagonist. The original Kir is no longer fighting for possession for the body anymore, the parasite has already ‘won’. If I made her an antagonist, she has too much potential to become two-dimensional, and having a one-track mind, lol. However, I’m thinking of also adding that one’s conciousness cannot be completely eradicated. You mentioned something about their personality being ‘friends’, or disputing. Hm…
I suppose original Kir’s residual conciousness within the body can serve as an often-ignored conscience, or the body’s unconciousness. I had an idea awhile ago that parasite-Kir is often sleep deprived because during sleep, another parasite can take over the brain, or that the original Kir can take over the body once again.
Anyways, thanks for the feedback.
I guess I should add in some more unique superpowers onto the list.
Metaphysical Manipulation from comicbook series “The Invisibles”: Using a secret alphabet, the ability to manipulate and rewrite the laws of reality.
Kira Izuru’s Zanpaktou from Bleach: Anything that touches his sword will double in weight. Sound lame, right? Considering that nearly everyone in that universe all fight with swords, it would take less than 10 blows to render their weapons useless.
Katara from Avatar: Originally, she is an elemental user(water), but she can also blood-bend. Can control people like puppets, basically.
Hey everyone its me again wanted to share another idea for a hero. This hero can turn into a dinosaur/humanoid like creature, his skin turns into scales which are harder than diamond’s. The heros teeth and claws can cut through any known material, he possesses super human strenght, durability and refelxes.
Hmm, I think this is another case of a character that has invulnerability. I think having skin harder than diamond is a little too much. Its seems that this character can’t get hurt which is boring. With the addition of superstrength and claws he’s a tank.
I’d recommend reducing the strength of his skin or removing superstrength.
Hm, it’s one of those moral dilemnas. I think it’s important if you answer that question yourself actually, whether or not Justice dies. Those kinds of moral dilemnas never have the right or wrong answers either way.
Anyways, a few questions:
A)How does Justice cause the world to end? The world could end in warfare, disease, famine, etc. Justice has to be a direct link to these cases, the world doesn’t simply shut down and dissolve into darkness one day.
B)How does Justice know himself that he will end the world? How about the people who want to hunt him down?
C)What evidence supports the belief of the people who hunt Justice? I mean, if you’ve ever met one of those street preachers in the city, who yell doom and damnation for everyone, very few actually stop to listen to him. Likewise, people can’t just know these things. There should be a valid and strong excuse for one to dedicate their whole life into hunting Justice.
Good questions
A) Hope I this makes sense. Justice is the physical manifestation of judgement day as written in the scriptures. On his birthday a meteor with hit earth and due to the effects of global warming some disasters will happen. A little later, the sun will explode destroying earth and everyone on it.
B) Justice always had the ability to bring unexpected justice on some people but as some ancient scripture said, one boy with the power to bring justice. Will bring apaclypse on us all (hope thats good enough)
C) A group called the Descendants have been diciphering a code written in an unknown language and it refers to Justice. They actaully work with Military, so they have an arsenal of weapons.
I kind of got the idea from 2012
I made this superhero of myself.
Solo
Solo is a mutant with the ability to absorb/drain the life force from any living organism. Solo is able to use the energy he absorbs for the uses of superhuman strength. His strength increases while he continues to absorb life force so there actually isn’t a limit to this feature. He also gains incredible speed, stamina, durability and energy control. Just as his strength, these abilities depend on the life force absorbed. Solo can channel and manipulate all forms of energy for virtually any use, with feats including size shifting, molecular manipulation, space travel, intangibility, energy projection and virtual invulnerability. Solo is able to flight with the use of energy and he can use great amounts of it to multiply his strength for short periods of time, again depending on the life force absorb.
Hmm… how dark do you intend to go with this power. Because I can imagine it going VERY dark. Especially if you make it so he can’t touch anyone without absorbing their life force. But don’t go there, it’s been done a million times.
But seriously, when he absorbs the life force, what happens to the victim? Do they get physically weakened? Do they die? Do they fall unconscious?
Also, super-strength, speed, stamina, durability, energy control, flight, size shifting, molecular manipulation, space travel, intangibility, energy projection, invulnerability. That’s a lot of powers he can get. Just to start off with I’d get rid of energy control, intangibility, size shifting, molecular manipulation, energy projection and virtual invulnerability. That leaves you with strength, speed, stamina, durability, flight, space travel and not invulnerability but maybe just higher resistance to blows.
But it’s an interesting idea, similar to Rogue from X-Men but with enough differences to be original.
Hiya, Solo.
I recommend being careful with a character that’s a self-insert, it usually leads to Mary Sue issues . As of now the character already seems to be suffering from two major Mary Sue symptoms. He’s overly powerful and he’s a cooler version of the author, I presume. I think he has too many powers and giving a character a multitude of abilities makes it harder to create interesting scenes.
Life Force Absorption
Superstrength
Superspeed
Generally Increased Physicality
Energy Control over all forms of energy
Size shifting
Molecular manipulation
Space Travel
No need to breath (not stated, but implied)
Intangibility
Energy Projection
Invulnerability
For starters, I don’t recommend putting the superstrength and invulnerability set in addition to the list of powers he had now. Those two powers together turn the character into a a tank, and tanks are generally boring. I’d also recommend choosing one out of superstrength or superspeed. Having both will make it hard to challenge him.
I’d recommend cutting most of the powers he gets from manipulating energy, like molecular manipulation and intangibility, and just keeping general energy control.
Life energy absorption
Superstrength
Energy control
Increased Physicality
Energy Projection
I think this bunch would work much better and allow you to show your creativity.
What do you think?
Funny, my main protaganist is also somewhat a self-insert. So I’m not saying that it’s impossible to do one, although, portraying you explicitly may come off as amatuerish. I just saying it’d be best if you give the character some defining traits that are different from you. For example, Adrian (my character) is far more outgoing and positive than I am.
My main character started off as a self-insert. But since then I’ve managed to distance myself from him… to an extent…
When I wrote short stories as a child, most of my main characters were blatant self inserts. I have actually grown to hate most of my old protagonists because they were such Sues. That’s one reason why I made my main character a guy:
1) I wrote girls so often before that I got tired of it.
2) I don’t really care whether a main character is male or female.
3) There are things that can be better explored from a male perspective than a female one. Eg, most girls wouldn’t go crazy at a high school soccer game.
4) By making my character a guy, I have avoided most opportunities for him to be a self insert. I share a few fears with Isaac, and an age group, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.
My above comment was in response to RB and Tom’s comments.
Most of my characters are pretty similar to me in some ways. Most blatantly, their all artists of some type (Adrian=Actor, Kenna=Graffiti Artist) and often times their names start with A (I don’t do it on purpose, I just love A names). I was planning to name a character Archibald. *facepalms*
I think I’ve made myself separate from Adrian enough to avoid Mary Sue-ism. His most prominent Sue trait is a unstable position between authority figures.
I think all writers put a little of themselves into their characters. Eg, Isaac has my fears, Kate has some of my randomness, Rana has my peacekeeping ability etc.
It seems like you have the impression that most of us on here are wishful dreamers with dead end jobs, living inside the fantasies in our heads. I’m 16, and I’m not writing/drawing for profit, I’m just doing it because I feel like it.
Well, this IS a help website for superhero writing. Complaining about help comments here is like going to a suicide help website and complaining about all of the manic depressives that post on there.
“Complaining about help comments here is like going to a suicide help website and complaining about all of the manic depressives that post on there.” Haha! I love that analogy.
set in a future time line where the gov’t is controlled by a group of villainous dictators (an official gov’t party and the full nine yards) which is the consequence of decisions made by the modern-age heroes. Therefore there are liberation sects across the globe under the guise of ‘the rebellion” (working title). The story will focus on a group of 5 teenagers and there mentor as they progress of their crusade of free world.
I guess that would be a quick synopsis.
That sounds awesome, Nic. xD The villainous dictators have their own government party, LOL.
It really does sound like an interesting set-up.
If something like an international league of supervillains was actually elected or chosen to rule the globe (at some point in history), then it would be interesting for the rebellion to try reversing those mistakes and overthrow the evil rulers.
I wonder how the heroes from the past managed to get these supervillains IN CHARGE in the future? O_O;; Geez…
I’m interested to hear about the five heroes you’ve got for your story. n__n
Characters are always the most interesting to me.
“The majority of black superheroes aren’t well written”.
That’s why I’m taking extra care with Klemente and Atalya. Even though they won’t be introduced for ages, I’ve been thinking a lot about their personalities and motivations. I try to keep a diverse cast, but I’m not trying to make a Five Token Band. Every character’s background is based off someone I have met in real life, so that should keep it realistic and not like Captain Planet.
Hey, have you ever thought about that? There’s a North American, a South American, a European, an African and an Asian. Looks like Australia is screwed. Haha.
So there’s been other posters that’ve been using Paladin for their superheroes? Cool. I got a Sentry in my comic, too. He’s basically like a evil Superman but not nearly as powerful nor as Marvel’s Sentry. I basically took the idea – what if there was a Superman who was this boy scout and true all-American hero for the public’s sake and behind the scenes was a evil, manipulative super-villain who controlled the city government of Seattle and actually created a lot of the super-villains Paladin battles.
“So there’s been other posters that’ve been using Paladin for their superheroes? Cool. I got a Sentry in my comic, too”.
My Paladin is a hacker/inventor/superhero who works as part of a team. My Sentry is a girl who was bedridden with a horrible disease, and when her father bought a last-ditch cure – a medicine developed by the military using the Guardian’s DNA – she gained superpowers like his and got better.
I’m trying to make a comic where hell’s demons defeat heaven’s angels. Do you think it will cause a problem with religious groups?
I personally think that you should get it written before you worry about who it causes problems with.
There’s a very slim chance that anything we write will get published anyway, so it’s better to worry about more important things like the aspects of writing it.
“I’m trying to make a comic where Hell’s demons defeat Heaven’s angels. Do you think it would cause a problem with religious groups?”
Unless you make a lot of reference to religious ideas I think you should be okay. Is this David?
Hello, Captain Dark Force. I agree with Marissa. Although the concept sounds a bit dystopian and depressing, I don’t think that the potential backlash from religious groups would scare publishers away if they thought the book was otherwise worth publishing. After all, in the past few years, the industry has published highly irreverent (possibly disrespectful) takes on religious figures like Battle Pope and Preacher as well as gritty hell vs. heaven conflicts like Spawn and Hellblazer. So something like this could conceivably work.
However, the best way to actually make it work is to write the story. Please let me know if you need reviewers.
…
I agree with Ragged Boy that it might be tricky to endorse a particular religion. However, avoiding religious elements entirely is probably not necessary or possible in this case. Angels and demons will obviously play a major role in a series about a war between heaven and hell.
Hey guys. What about this?
The K’dapt is a group founded on the precepts of Sephora, its founder. She taught that there were five levels of psychic potential.
The five levels are:
Level One: ESP (Extrasensory Perception
Level Two: Telepathy/Clairvoyance
Level Three: OBE (Outer Body Experience) Empathy
Level Four: Psychokinesis (including, Pyrokinesis, biokinesis)
Level Five: Mind over Matter.
Hey what do you guys think about this ability…and do you think its too much?
Vocifery, also known as Command is the amazing ability to speak nearly anything into existence. Almost any event or being the user of this ability speaks will come true instantly. The only hitch is that no vocifer, except God, can ever speak death, devastation, destruction or defeat on any foe or subject, thanks to the words of the first vocifer.
also what kind of limitations would you put on it?
Too much, probably. I suspect that it’d be too hard to come up with challenges for a character that had such an ability. If the character is locked in a dungeon, he just wishes himself home or wishes for the key or whatever. If the enemy army is massing, he just summons bajillions of warriors to fight for him.
Genie stories did wishes better, I think. If there are only three wishes, then each wish is precious. That also gives the character more room to be witty. How much can you do with each wish?
One possible restriction… the wisher has to possess a particular item, usually the lamp.
Another possible restriction… each wish takes something from the character. If the character wishes for something great, it might consume him. (That’ll keep your characters from asking for ridiculous things like bajillions of soldiers).
You’ll probably want to rule out resurrection, time-travel, immortality/invulnerability, etc.
Another possible restriction… wishes might have a tendency to backfire. (For example, if you conjure up an army, there is no guarantee that it will actually fight in the way you want it to). If at all possible to solve your problems without using a wish, it is safer to do so. That will encourage your characters to come up with genuinely impressive solutions that rely on skill and cleverness rather than a magical talent.
Alter ego : Devin Williamson
Team affiliations : None
Notable aliases : The eyes or Black eye
Abilities : Death eyes
Origins
Black Eye is not a super villain or superhero but a deranged psycho killer that butchered his entire family. After the trial he was imprisoned for 134 years without any chance of parole. Black Eye was found in a dump site where the foster family he butchered took him in their home. His origins are still unknown.
His eyes are known as the death eyes. If he makes eye contact with any living organisms, it directly ends that living organism life force instantly. He can shoot out a beam of purple light known as death contact which can kill any living thing that it comes in contact with, he can manipulate the eye energy to make force fields and levitate.
What do you think of this character? Is he too powerful?
Doesn’t the fact that he’s a deranged psycho killer put him on the villain side?
Too be frank, I think he’s way too overpowered and a seemingly unlikeable character. His background is depressing and his personality isn’t attractive. Is there anything good about him? If not, I’d recommend reworking the character and origin completely. I think this character can work if the story is about him seeking redemption for the wrongs that he’s done, but if the story’s just about him killing, it probably won’t get published.
I think you should add a strong limitation if you want a power that strong. Although, I don’t think a death stare would make for interesting action scene. I think a good limitation would be a set number of death stares he can do before he dies himself or maybe whenever he does he loses life force. That way he couldn’t just use his powers recklessly.
What are you planning as the actual story?
Hello, Undereater.
I’d like to second David’s thought here. If he’s (ahem) “a deranged psycho killer,” I’d have trouble imagining him as anything other than a faceless horror villain, like Mike Myers in Halloween. Right now, it sounds like you’re planning on using him as the focal point of the story, like the main character. I don’t think that will work here. I feel that he needs a lot more personality and style before he can succeed as a villain-as-main-character (like Dexter, say).
I agree with RB that his fight scenes will probably not be terribly interesting, particularly if he is the main character. Typically, the main character needs to be challenged more than the antagonist and the main character usually gets in more fights. Another problem is that I think it would be very hard to draw out his fights to a satisfying conclusion. If he kills someone on eye-contact, I imagine his fights will be very short. Do you think you could draw out his fight scenes a few pages?
There are also some superpowers like solidification and exploding blood from DTB.
I was thinking of creating a Hulk character, and I guess his name would be Proteus. Instead of his creation having a scientific basis, I’d give it a supernatural basis. For instance, a history professor discovers an ancient text, and taps into this curse called the “Primal Force” (which affected a man thousands of years ago), causing the history professor to undergo this transformation to a beast?
What do you guys think?
I think quasi-scientific origins are somewhat more popular and are easier to get published, but it could possibly work. The concept is remotely similar to DC’s Jason Blood (who turns into Etrigan), so it’s not impossible.
That said, if you’re interested in doing this as a comic book, it’d be uncomfortably niche. In Western (non-manga) comic books, magical origins do not typically sell very well. Dr. Strange, Zatanna, Etrigan and the like typically do not sell well enough to leave an editor’s heart beating in anticipation.
However, novel-readers (and publishers) are typically more receptive to fantasy and magic.
Captain Light (Sun Kim)
Captain Light
Real name: Pytros (birth name): Sun Kim Wong (adopted name)
Alias: Captain Light
Identity: secret
Race: Novarian
Affiliations: League of superpowered
Relatives: Maxtrus (birth father) Uma (birth mother) Jimmy Wong (adoptive father) and Lee Wong (second adoptive father)
Citizenship: Citizen of America
Gender: Male
Height: 6’5”
Weight: 255 lbs
Eyes: Green
Hair: Blonde
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: Superhero
Origin: Sent to earth by his warrior dad to avoid execution in his home world. Pytros would become a superhero in earth.
Place of Birth: Avon, Novaron
History
Pytros was the son of Queen Uma and Maxtrus the greatest warrior in planet Novaron, but when King Delco the husband of Queen Uma found out that his heir and son was not his at all he got so furious he ordered the execution of his wife and general at once in the last attempt to save her son Queen Uma decided to hide her son inside a trading ship that was heading to a nearby planet to trade. While in space the ship was accidently blasted by meteor showers and crash landed on earth. Landing on earth, Pytros was found in Central Park (New York City) by Jimmy Wong and Lee Wong, who adopted him as their son and raised him.
Powers and Abilities
He can manipulate light to generate force-fields and shoot light-beams from his hand. He has superhuman strength and can lift more than 70 tons with ease, lift mountains with little effort. His strength depends on how much energy he has absorbed, so he could lift in excess of 250 tons. He has superhuman speed and can run a mile per second and can fly at the speed of light. He tends to fly at the speed of 23 miles per second in the atmosphere. He has great maneuverability in the air (like flying backwards and lifting heavy objects), superhuman durability and healing. His most powerful attack, solar flare, is an energy beam fired from his eyes that can blind an entire town.
Hello, Sammuu. Here are some thoughts and suggestions.
–This character has three sets of names (Captain Light, Pytros and Sun Kim Wong). I’d recommend bringing it to two.
–By my count, we get about 150 words on his origin story/backstory/family. And another 230 words on his superpowers. These are not remotely as important as his personality and traits. I would strongly, strongly recommend developing your characters more. You might find this article useful.
–I think the powers for Captain Light strike me as more workable than Zael’s did. (Erm, at least I assume you are the same author that did Zael). However… when you submit to publishers, do you think you could cut down the 230 words on Light’s superpowers into 1-3 sentences? Ideally, one or two sentences totaling a max of 20 words. (Some simplification of the powers might be in order).
Hello, SN. I was wondering what would be some cool ways to apply hemokinesis?
Hello, Ro.
One of my own characters in Darkstar Rising is a blood manipulator (That was what you meant, right?). Although he could easily stop his enemy’s heart by cutting off the flow of blood and stopping their heart (making him overpowered) he’s against harming any life and uses his own blood, hence his name Masochist. Although he needs a decent amount of blood to be effective,his blood cells multiply at a much faster rate than normal (If they didn’t, he’d die from blood loss).
He can manipulate blood outside of his body (ex: the blood of others, blood not within beings like in a blood bank or hospital, etc.). He can also cause blood to congeal and become solid, using it to help immobilize his foe. Using this same method, he can also use it to create weapons for himself (although he has to be careful – even with his blood cells multiplying faster he has a limit of how much blood he can use without feeling the effects).
In a way similar to Titan, the metal manipulator of How To Save The World, he can also create tools from blood (keys, other small items).
Hopefully this was helpful, although I am still in the development phase for Masochist. Good luck to you.
- Wings
I’m writing this story and people have already told me it’s blasphemous. What do you think?
Celestial Annihilation
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it. And this will be the fall of mankind from grace and God; mankind will play the last cruel game to God for our selfish needs. The ultimate deal will be made by mankind and the lords of hell. The lust that had driven us from grace shall prove our ultimate obliteration as the Lords of hell walk on the earth devouring mankind.
It is the Order that had failed us mankind in this past year, the order were seven of the most powerful men on earth claiming, tricking and brainwashing mankind that god doesn’t exist that were all born from the pits of hell. The Order’s last blow came when they struck Vatican City and Mecca to cripple the world’s most powerful religions. Manipulating us to believe that they granted us a favor while dooming mankind for all eternity, the end begins.
“Lord Belial– the portal is not ready yet. We are behind schedule,” said Nergal with a gentle blow. Lord Belial rose from his throne and took a step forward. “General, I will not tolerate your incompetence for long. I grow impatient!” he yelled. He placed a hand on his back. “Leave me, General,” announced Lord Belial.
In London at eight o’clock, Cassiel was watching television when his mum interrupted. “Cassiel, it’s time to go to school. The TV will still be there when you get back,” she said as calmly as she could. Cassiel then turned to face his mum. “mum I wanted to talk to you about something” Jennifer was getting serious annoyed as she repeatedly thumbs her foot “as long it does not involve you saying your critically sick, can not go to school” Cassiel grabs his head and rolls down on the floor with agony “ Mum it hurts ! Mum it hurts! Please help me” Cassiel screams his voice sounds distressed as like he was in extreme pain.
Jennifer panicked, tears cascaded from eyes she could not stop crying she looks at her son his veins were sticking out on his forehead. Cassiel kept screaming Help! Help! Help! Jennifer picks up she phone but she struggle to dial the number as her hands shakes violently.
“i writing this story and people already telling me it is blasphemy, what do you think?”
If you write a story worth publishing, I don’t think that it matters much whether it seems blasphemous to some people. I think that English-language publishers tend to be pretty secular. The issues with spelling, grammar and punctuation are far more serious.
B. Mac you said spelling, grammar and punctuation are far more serious but i checked in a grammar software program and found that nothing was wrong with my spelling, grammar and punctuation.
And this my new pice so what do ou think?
It was raining outside that day so Cassiel decided to stay inside and watch television all day. Everything was going the way he planned a day in doing nothing but watch his favourites programs, when suddenly a knock came from the door and Cassiel ignored it he did not want to be disturbed on his luxury day with his mum at work he had the whole house to himself. Again a knock came from the door but this time it was louder than before so Cassiel went to answer it “who is it ?” Cassiel whispered as he peeps through the door hole and he saw nothing but just the old looking tree that was in front of his house. A bright yellow light had recently appeared on his living room and started to make these weird whooshing sounds, Cassiel rushed to his living room to find it completely torched “what the hell happened here? Mum is going to kill me when she sees this” Cassiel shouted.
Grammar software isn’t perfect. For example, let’s go through a few lines from the above post.
Original version:
Cassiel then turned to face his mum. “mum I wanted to talk to you about something” Jennifer was getting serious annoyed as she repeatedly thumbs her foot “as long it does not involve you saying your critically sick, can not go to school” Cassiel grabs his head and rolls down on the floor with agony “ Mum it hurts ! Mum it hurts! Please help me” Cassiel screams his voice sounds distressed as like he was in extreme pain.
Edited version:
Cassiel then turned to face his mum. “Mum, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
[new paragraph after a speaker finishes]
Jennifer was getting seriously annoyed as she repeatedly thumped her foot. “As long as it does not involve you saying you’re critically sick and can’t go to school.”
[new paragraph after a speaker finishes]
Cassiel grabbed his head and rolled on the floor with agony. “Mum, it hurts! Mum, it hurts! Please help me,” Cassiel screamed. His voice sounded distressed, as though he were in extreme pain.
Some grammar notes.
–The punctuation needs a lot of work, particularly around the dialogue. When a line of dialogue ends with a tag, the final line of dialogue should have a comma. For example… “My favorite player is out for the season. I am quite surly,” said the barkeeper.
–When a character is addressed by name, the name should be separated from the rest of the sentence with commas. For example… “Hello, Sammuu. Sammuu, how are you doing?”
–There were some tense issues. Some of the verbs were in past tense and others were in present. I’d really recommend being consistent, ideally in the past tense.
–Misuse of you’re vs. your. (I don’t think grammar software is equipped to handle that yet).
–”can not” should be just one word. Cannot.
so what do you think about my new piece B mac
It was raining outside that day so Cassiel decided to stay inside and watch television all day. Everything was going the way he planned a day in doing nothing but watch his favourites programs, when suddenly a knock came from the door and Cassiel ignored it he did not want to be disturbed on his luxury day with his mum at work he had the whole house to himself. Again a knock came from the door but this time it was louder than before so Cassiel went to answer it “who is it ?” Cassiel whispered as he peeps through the door hole and he saw nothing but just the old looking tree that was in front of his house. A bright yellow light had recently appeared on his living room and started to make these weird whooshing sounds, Cassiel rushed to his living room to find it completely torched “what the hell happened here? Mum is going to kill me when she sees this” Cassiel shouted.
Original version…
so what do you think about my new piece B mac
Edited version (edited only for grammar/punctuation).
So what do you think about my new piece, B. Mac?
Some other notes.
*–Since it can’t rain inside, the word outside is probably unnecessary here.
**–This sentence does not flow nicely with either the sentence before or after. What does him having the whole house to himself have to do with the knocking?
Hey guys. Sorry I haven’t written any of you in ages. I’ve just started online courses. I have an idea for a story which involves the seven seals of the book of Revelation. A powerful sorcerer steals an ancient gem, and unlocks all seven of the seals. What do you think so far?
Hmm… there might be a discrepancy between the sorcerer (which sounds like generic fantasy) and the seven seals of Revelation (which sounds a lot like Christian fiction). Is this being marketed towards Christians? If not, replacing Revelation with something a bit more fantasy-ish might help.
If this is Christian fiction– and I’m not very familiar with that sector– I’m not sure how sorcery will play. There were some high-profile protests over the magic in Harry Potter and I’m not sure if that’s just a tiny minority view or a tip-of-the-iceberg kind of thing.
This helps a lot! I was wondering whether I can have characters have mixed origins– for example, can my hero get his powers through magic and the villain through science? Would that all make sense in one universe?
Generally, I don’t recommend mixing magic and sci-fi. It’s pretty rare outside of DC Comics and might come off as tacky. In most cases, magical superheroes do not sell particularly well (please see Zatanna, Dr. Strange, etc). The magical superheroes that do perform well tend to have a more consistently magical universe (like Buffy, Sailor Moon, etc). You might find this article helpful.
It could just be a coincidence when there are so few successful magical superheroes, but I find it notable that both of the ones I can think of star a female lead. It seems like magical superheroes tend to perform best when women comprise a significant part (or even a majority) of the readership. Perhaps many male comic book readers grow unreceptive to magical heroes as they get older? (That doesn’t seem terribly accurate with regards to fantasy novels, though).
Warhammer
Origins
Uriel is the son of Zadkiel the god of compassion in the realm of Veerto. Three days after his birth the realm of Veerto descended into absolute chaos and anarchy as the forces of darkness invaded Veerto and wish to overthrow the Gods, his father Zadkiel left him with his mother and went to war. Soon after Zadkiel left a dark assassin infiltrated the fortress and made attempt on Uriel life but his mother queen of Gods, Iza managed to save him and placed Uriel in the hands of her most trusted servant who made a portal to earth and escaped with Uriel. Iza was then killed shortly after Uriel left with the servant to earth. In earth Uriel was raised as a normal human boy by the servant Selena who became his adopted mother. At the tender age of sixteen Selena told him the truth about his real parents and home world, Selena also presented him with gifts his parents left for him moments after his parents destruction the judgement helmet, solitude hammer and defender armour each gifts with special powers of their own. Uriel decided that he would use his new found powers to protect the earth and to find his home world of Veerto this is when he adopted a new alias warhammer.
Personality
Uriel led a lonely, sad life in earth, doing nothing but isolating himself with the world and school. After Selena told him that he was a god and came from another realm, Uriel become more and more arrogant, selfish, and headstrong and over confident nothing scared him anymore and he became increasing violence.
Powers and abilities
Judgement helmet- manipulation of matter and dark matter
Solitude hammer – a magical prison and transportation device
Defender armour – physical enhancement
Personal information
Real Name: Uriel
Alias: Warhammer
Identity: secret
Affiliation: League of superpowered
Relatives: Zadkiel (Father), Iza (Mother) and Selena (adoptive mother)
Gender: male
Height: 6’5”
Weight: 550 lbs
Eyes: Green
Hair: blond
Citizenship: US
Marital Status: single
Occupation: superhero and police officer
Place of Birth: Veerto
Wait, he’s 6’5” but 550 lbs? Is that with or without the armor?
If he weighs 550 pounds, it’s no wonder that he’s sad and isolated.
Hey SN. So if a character has invulnerability as his primary ability and a person has superhuman strength punches him in the face would it knoch him out? Or even if they dont have superstrength but hit him with enough times could it knock him out?
I think that a superstrong character should be able to knock him out eventually. If he is actually invulnerable and cannot be harmed, you will have a hard time coming up with satisfying challenges for him to overcome.
If a regular guy punches away at your Superman, I don’t think that he’d be able to knock him out no matter how long he tried… which is sort of a problem. If the hero cannot be harmed by normal people, you will probably need a large stable of superpowered characters to challenge him. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it does sort of restrict you to a mass-origin (like the mutants in X-Men or the bang-babies in Static Shock) rather than individualized origins like Dr. Doom or whatever.
What’s a bang-baby?
My favourite superpower to have would be ghost powers, like what Danny Phantom has. Phasing through walls, ghost shields, energy blasts, etc If I could have those powers, life would be so much easier. Haha.
In the Static Shock universe, “bang baby” is a slang term for someone who got superpowers through the chemical accident at the start of the series. I think the police and scientists prefer “metahuman.”
I wasn’t going to actually use the bible as a part of the story line. What I was going to do was use the sorcerer (whose name is Sabellius) and this ancient gem to open up the seals, and Gabriel, an archangel is sent by the Elder Gods to try and stop this sorcerer from doing so.
Hey Sn…Let me know what you think about this character and if his abilities make sense…
Ht. 6’1
wt. 175
powers: His body has been fused with nanotechnology allowing him to have superhuman abilities…
1) superstrength(10 tons)/durability
2)healing factor
3)superhuman reflexes/agility/dexterity/stamina
4)cloaking/camoflaging
5)superhuman senses(vision, hearing, taste, smell, touch)
The nanotechnology works similar to reactive adaptation using these 5 abilities. the nanites determine what is needed and activates the prper ability…Only two powers can be activated at a time.
he has the ability to override the nanites and choose the abilities he wants and with enough conentration he can have more than two of these abilities….does that make sense and how does that sound?
–These seem pretty workable. Of the five, I think cloaking borders on problematic. It might take the drama out of fighting because if he starts to lose, he can just get away, right? Alternately, it makes it a bit harder to do an interesting stealth scene. (It’s more impressive when a character has to sneak in somewhere WITHOUT the ability to go invisible).
–These powers have a lot of potential for interesting fight scenes, I think.
–The restriction that he can only use two abilities at once is an interesting touch, but I don’t think that it will come into play very often. How many situations can you envision where he will need more than 2 of those powers?
–Healing factor seems a bit redundant with durability. (Depends on the limits of his durability, I suppose… is he bulletproof?)
–I’d recommend taking out the part that he can overcome the “two abilities at once” limit with concentration. First, the limit isn’t that onerous to begin with. Second, when a character has a limit, I recommend sticking with it rather than saying that the character can ignore it whenever the writer needs him to. Otherwise, his ability to break the rules is pretty much a deus ex machina.
I need some help. I’m making a comic book about a team of teenagers who find out they have super powers. There’s also another team and some powerful villain, but I have a few problems:
1-I don’t know what to name my heroes or villains. For most of them I just use other superhero’s names on them. The good team’s leader has cyrokinesis so I used the name Ice Boy for him, but I’d like you to help me with characters and team names.
2-I want help with new super powers. I gave one of my villains “ropekinesis,” the power to create ropes of any size and control them mentally. I gave him the name Rope Master– is that good?
3- I want my target audience for this comic book to be boys at my age. Should I include females in it?
4- I need costumes.
Hmmm …
I have an alien (possibly super heroine later) but I can’t really come up with anything ability-wise. Her race’s skin/whole self is naturally very, very tough (like if she fell or whatever, or a knife was thrust at her, it would not have the same result, it takes a lot to make her bleed and even more to break her bones) and so can jump from higher places or whatever, not worry so much about being ‘careful’. In other words, her whole race is pretty enduring.
But the problem is, of course, obviously that it’s not really a superpower and actually her personality makes it so she’s not very reckless, though she could be, so the possibility of taking advantage of that natural protection isn’t there.
Maybe since her skin/bones are harder, she can really pack a punch? I don’t know. Her hair and eyes pale, too, when she’s frightened or feeling sick. But that doesn’t really lend any ideas as to a superpower. :/
Luna,
I agree with lighting man, your character outline sounds pretty solid so I wouldn’t add any abilities. You just need to find new ways use what you have already given your character. Like maybe you alien is stronger on earth because of lighter gravity, but has to work ou alot to keep her body from aclimating(spelling?), or maybe as a result of her having superhard bones and stuff her body is to dense to float in water. Oh by the way with the gravity thing I mentioned earlier, astronauts experience bone loss in space because the low gravity their bones dont need to be as strong, so maybe your character is slow losing her advantage over time.
Hola, Ice Boy
If we haven’t met already, I’m Ragged Boy, a part-time contributor. Let’s see if we can’t help you out, buddy:
1: I’m not really feeling Ice boy. It’s way generic. Personally, I prefer names that tell me about the heroes persona like Showtime or Chicle. Give me a brief bio of each of your characters and villains.
2: I love coming up with superpowers. I like the power of “Ropekinesis”, but the name is ick. I think with that power it’s okay to explain it in a short description. It’s not a self-explanatory power like super strength or flying. I’m not feeling Rope Master. How about Slipknot? As for the others what types of superpowers do you like?
3:I’m hoping number 3 isn’t a general question. I don’t think boys would like a world with just boys. But if you’re talking about in your team, I’d recommend for it. Girls usually play an important role in teams. They’re usually the voice of reason or the level-headed one or the love interest through which you can develop your male characters and vice versa. I’d definitely vote “yes” on girls. I think it would reflect poorly on your ability as a writer if you could only write one type of character. Also, a world with just boys is gross. Haha!
4:Ah, costumes. Have you seen this article yet? I can help you with any questions you have.
On a side note, I’d recommend working on your grammar and your organization when posting. It makes it easier for us to help you.
So, what do you think?
Perhaps I can also be of use to Ice Boy – I have an ice manipulator known as Frostbite.
Oh, and can anyone give me a minor-yet-workable ability for Remembrance aka Maya? This ability would be her power originally, before she was given the Titan’s Diamond powers. For instance, the other fighter created by Crimson in the same manner was Harbinger aka Julian, an empath. Any ideas?
- Wings
A minor ability? I can’t remember at the moment if your universe has a mass origin or not, but if it does, it might be interesting for it to be something that would require an Eigen plot to be discovered, for example, an individual with the ability to regrow her kidneys, that just happens to offer to give one away, or get kidnapped by an organ stealing criminal. She could be using this to test medications for pharmacutical companies earlier then the law allows, when Crimson finds her.
Or if you were looking for a suggestion more combat oriented, how about the ability to rapidly repair dermal injuries through increased intake of folate? This could cause her to run around eating inordinate amounts of Sunflower seeds, or kale. You could allow this habit to survive the presumable loss of that power when she gains her new ones, and tie into her name. The actual why of how folate increases her healing ability can be attributed to her possessing a unique physiology.
Lightning Man and Ghost, thanks for your input. Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s actually pretty interesting because I’d never have seen that. I mean, I thought of it as just a trait and maybe she would be more difficult to injure but yeah, when her personality really starts coming through and she gets more confident-or reckless-on Earth …
Ghost, that ‘denser so she can’t float’ thing is pretty cool.
Only thing is now I’m worried I made her into a Mary-Sue a little bit, because technically she hadn’t, you know, eaten or anything for several months or more (however long it took her cramped Pod-meteorite to everyone else-to travel to earth). And I remember B.Mac’s thing about aliens having to look like, well, aliens/not human and not being so super-powered they were way superior to humans.
Then again, considering how many planets and stars are out there-disregarding for a moment this is for a book-though I don’t believe in aliens, it is at the same time entirely possible. If there were aliens for there to be at least several planets with human-like aliens on them, with incredible (or not so incredible) powers. So shes kinda safe that way, though still perhaps somewhat of a Mary-Sue.
*I think I meant it made her seem invincible, not having eaten in so long and still being alive. Not a Mary-Sue.
Hello Ragged boy, nice to meet you. Well these are some some heroes of team X(is the name good?).
1-Big.o and smoke:a boy named Ryan can summon or transform to 2 men who will do anything Ryan tells them to do. One is Big.o a 15 feet version of Ryan who has super Strength (Big.O) and another one Smoke who can teleport and is a great sword man. Big.o and Smoke need no food they can get energy and food when they are in Ryans head(not summoned)and they have telepathic communication.
2-Speedo:A boy with super speed.
3-Tom has technopathy and super intelligence.
4-Frost:The brother for Ben (Ice boy) which has the same power as his brother.
I’ve choosen another name for Ben (Ice boy), is chillo good?Slipknot is excellent And I will change the name ropekenises to rope control or rope manipulation. I want super powers which are rarely used.The article you gave me was great can you give me more websites like this I don’t know where to find them and by the way I know my grammer is bad because I’m was not born in an “english city”if you know what I mean.
Lord Masters, Sir Becton and Lord Roy are three hard-headed businesses men who were the first three members of a government group that were more powerful than the prime minister and the queen. The group was called the Tribune of high Supreme Court; this group controlled every affair in the country and soon more members joined all of them respected and powerful businesses, it came a time where the government were seen as useless and pointless so the Tribune of high Supreme Court took over the country this was proven to be fatal as not only these powerful businesses men wanted the country they wanted the whole world.
The high Lord Williamson of the Tribune of high Supreme Court set up a force to help with the court ultimate goal, this force is called N.S.T.F (National Security Task Force) this force is used to collect and transfer ancient relics, artefacts, scrolls, crystals and weapons which the high Lord Williamson believed will unlock a answer to a much greater power.
Sax is an Elementai a secret race of the humans who are able to controls elements, the main elements that any Elementai can control are fire,water,air and earth. Some powerful elementai can convert fire into thunder and water into ice, Sax is just a basic Elementai who dreams to become the most powerful warrior so he spends most of his time training and many people find it strange because he is only fourteen years old and is already discovered his true path. Sax not only train in elements but trains in different style of martial arts and weapons. The Elementai are some of the races trust to guard a key which is talisman to a prison that imprisoned the most dangerous being in earth called the Becoming. The Talisman was stolen by a group of government agents known as the N.S.T.F (National Security Task Force) so Sax was ask by his elders to retrieve the talisman. Thus his training and dream is put to the test through this mission if his worthy to become a High Captain Elementai the most high rank Elementai after the Emperor. Sax is most skilled in the fire element because he spend a month in the fire temple training and each Elementai when are born were given an element based on their birth month so Sax element was fire.
so what do you think of my character is he well developed?
Hello, High-Pop.
Actually, your post is more about storyline than character, so I can’t quite tell if your character is well-developed or not. What is his personality like? I can gather that he must be very dedicated and focused because he spends so many years training in different Elementai and martial arts. He must be an optimistic and confident dreamer, too, because he wants to become the most powerful warrior in the world. But what’s his personality?
Why does he want to become the most powerful and versatile warrior? Is there a very famous Elementai warrior that the protagonist was incredibly impressed by, so he grew up dreaming of becoming just as powerful?
Maybe Sax’s family is well-known for being strong Elementai, so Sax and his brother are expected to be just as strong. His brother is apathetic toward the goal because he’d rather do something else (like chasing a love interest or becoming a great writer), but he trains just as hard as Sax, and the brother is actually BETTER at being an Elementai? So then your hero is working hard to keep up with his brother because he really DOES dream of being a great Elementai and living up to the family name?
Sax’s reasons for training so hard will say a lot about his personality.
If he’s from a long line of talented Elementai, that might be a reason why the elders ask him to search for the stolen key… I feel like you’ll have more storyline to work with if you DON’T make Sax an incredibly well-trained Elementai, yet. Maybe he’s gone through all the training and he IS good, but he’s not experienced yet?
Maybe the elders don’t ask him to search for the key, but he hears about the situation and decides he wants to try out his powers now? This would really put him to the test, especially if he’s not as strong as he thought, and he struggles the whole way because he’s DETERMINED to prove himself?
Maybe he worked really hard and was finally considered strong enough to help guard that secret key, but while he’s on duty, he loses the key to the government? So then the other Elementai would be outraged and send their best elemental-users after the key while Sax is ordered to stay home? But in order to redeem himself (and because he feels responsible for the situation), Sax hurries off to find the key himself?
Anyways, the point of my rambling is…
What is Sax’s personality like?
What makes him WANT to be the best Elementai warrior?
Will his talents be seriously challenged in the story, showing the readers how much he improves from beginning to end?
What do his goals say about him as a character?
Okay. Build a story around the original premise..hmm. I have something. Perhaps this particular scientist has been studying the Obsidian race, and he uses Obsidian DNA to create the ultimate prototype, or blueprint?
Alrighty Chandler, but what’s the “Obsidian Race”?
Why is the scientist studying them? Why does he decide to make a “prototype” based on their powers? What kind of prototype is it? Is it a prototype for a machine, weapon, or a super-serum to give other people powers? (A “prototype” is a test version of something, so what kind of thing is he making? How?) What does your character intend to do with that prototype? Is he in it for the money? Did somebody hire him to do it? Does he want to give people superpowers? What’s his motivation?
What is your researcher/scientist character’s name? What kind of personality does he have? Is he a very serious, intelligent person who is always highly concentrated on his work? Is he light-hearted, ethusiastic, accident-prone? Does he have any close friends or co-workers working with him on this prototype project? Where does he live? Does he get paid very much? Who funds his research? The government or a private contracter?
Once the scientist makes the prototype, what happens? Does it turn out differently than he thought it would? It is horrendously dangerous and he must stop the “monster” he’s created? Is there an accident in the lab? Do villains start trying to kill him in order to stop his project? Maybe villains try to steal his research papers so THEY can use the super prototype, or they want to kidnap the scientist so he can help them with their evil schemes?
Answering these questions will help you flesh out your main character, his motivation, and your storyline.
Give it a try! Right now, you’re still being too vague for anyone to give you suggestions. All I can do is try to ask you questions to help you get started. Try to give us a little description about what happens in your story, and who the main heroes and villains are.
Well, the prototype was used for himself because he has cancer, and he’s trying to cure himself. The Obsidians are a race of beings born with a gene known as the Obsidian gene, which when activated, grants the individual with superhuman abilities. The gene can be activated as a result of changes in the environment. The scientist’s name is Ben Mitchell, and he works for an observatory in New York City. His specialty is developmental biology, and he’s studied the Obsidians for years. Max Crenshaw, a terrorist, heard about this research and has sent followers to steal the prototype, and build the ultimate weapon.
Heya, Chandler! Good start. Lemme see if this all makes sense…
So Ben Mitchell works for an observatory, but specializes in developmental biology? I think people who work in observatories study astronomy (stars, planets, etc.). If he’s a biologist, he probably wouldn’t be stationed in the observatory unless his work related to outerspace or he needed a giant telescope.
He’s got cancer and wants to cure himself, so he makes a prototype SERUM (chemical/medicine) out of the blood of the Obsidians. He wants the superhuman abilities because he believes that if he’s got superstrength and stuff, it might give his immune system the extra boost it needs to fight off the cancer? So he develops this medicine and tries it on himself?
And then the terrorist guy hears about the research and wants HIS scientists/thugs to steal the medicine that Ben made, so he can power up his own legion of soldiers? Or is his “ultimate weapon” more like a machine that can be powered up by Ben’s medicine? Do the terrorists succeed in stealing Ben’s research? How does Ben avoid them at first, and how to they finally take his research if he’s got the super-powers already? What does he have to do to stop them? Does he learn that the super-powers have a time limit (or life-span cost, side-effects, etc.) that the terrorists don’t know about?
Also, tell us more about the Obsidians. How do they play into the story? Who are they? WHAT are they? An alien race? Mutatations amongst humans? A recently discovered breed of animal? I imagine that you’ll be using an Obsidian character somewhere in your story, because when you were planning on a fanfiction, you were going to have the Incredible Hulk in the story. In your original idea, how did Ben Mitchell get the Hulk’s DNA? What role did the Hulk play in the original story? That’s probably how you should start thinking about where to use the Obsidian people.
Oops, I didnt mean “observatory”. I meant a lab in New York City known as Trinity Labs. I completely took the Hulk out of the story line, but I was thinking, Ben could use the serum to cure himself, and perhaps turn himself into a hulk-like character. I dunno. Maybe some suggestions from you guys would suffice in this case. Anyway, the Obsidians are an alien race, and some of them came to Earth to escape their war-torn planet called Absentia,
Oh, and yes, the serum does cause a spike in his immune system to help him fight off the cancer, and since it’s caused a radical mutagenic effect on Ben’s cells, it turned him into a humanoid being with strength (kinda like the Hulk). The two Obsidians, Micah and Belarus help Mitchell keep the serum from getting into the hands of Max Crenshaw and the members of his terrorist organization.
Any suggestions.
Am I the only one trying to review Chandler’s story? lol, it’s hard to do by myself!
Anyways, it’s great that you’re getting some of the details planned out! I’m not really sure how to help other than asking some more questions for you, so here I go!
At this point, I’m mostly interested in how Micah and Belarus play into the story. How do they feel towards humans? Have they been on Earth long? Why do they let the humans scientist, Ben, take samples of their DNA to cure himself? Do they do this willingly, or does Ben make some agreement with them so the aliens would GAIN from the DNA donation? Imagine if you, a human being, wandered into an area full of exotic, four-headed aliens that resembled centipedes. If they took a genuine interest in you and wanted a “sample of your blood” with some foreign medical supplies, I doubt you’d be jumping to volunteer, no matter how well you were getting along with those aliens. This is what the situation might feel like for Micah and Belarus.
Maybe Ben finds them injured or sick, and for whatever reason, Ben convinces them that it’s okay to trust him and he shuffles them to his lab, where he’s got all his medical supplies. (You’re really gonna have to work on motivating Ben AND the Obsidians for allowing this to happen. Why doesn’t Ben run away from the aliens? Why do the aliens decide to trust Ben, at least temporarily? The aliens are probably DESPERATE and plan to either kill Ben or run into hiding if he makes a wrong move with them)
Anyways, perhaps while Ben is applying medicine to the injured Obsidian, he realizes that it almost instantly takes effect. Normally, an injury would have to be cleaned and covered with bandages for awhile, but the wound starts to heal almost immediately after the alien is given medicine. The aliens aren’t surprised by this, but Ben is. They tell him that everybody heals like that, as long as they’re given medicine. There might be a culture shock as the aliens realize that humans are more fragile, and take longer to heal. Ben might realize that studying their blood could come up with a MIRACLE CURE, though he doesn’t know what kind of side-effects there may be. He might strike a deal with the Obsidians – maybe offer to protect them and show them how to blend in on earth, if they’ll give him a sample of their blood.
Then after Ben has made his medical prototype, he uses it on himself and it has HUGE side-effects. His immune system gets a boost, alright, but the blood reacts wildly with human blood and starts turning him into a hulk-like monster. So then Ben and the aliens are working together this whole time, and the aliens wonder if it’s, “ordinary for humans to become massive and snarling without warning…”
Haha, that’s the best I’ve got for suggestions. I don’t think I should be suggesting so much, though. You’re gonna have to start generating lots of ideas so you can get your story going! If any of these ideas sounded good, start trying to build off of the basic premise. You’ll need to come up with what happens during the plot, and how you’re gonna motivate these characters to work together.
Wow. That’s a good premise that I could go with. Thanks. I was going to add like, after Mitchell is treated with the prototype, and the Obsidians are wondering if humans innately has this ability, Crenshaw and his cronies learn of Mitchell’s research, and try and get a hold of it.
I do have one question, in Ben’s mutated form, what color should his skin be? What should trigger off the transformation?
Maybe you should make Ben’s transformation more unique than just getting big and changing colors like the Hulk does.
Otherwise, he’ll seem a bit like a copycat hero. Try to think of an interesting “monster-transformation” for your character that will go along with the “boosted immune system” idea. Think like the Hulk or a werewolf sort of transformation, but make it unique to your story somehow.
As for what triggers the transformation, it could be any number of things… Maybe it happens at night, like with werewolves? Or maybe it happens every time he sees his own reflection or something? So he’d just be walking down the street and see himself in a puddle, then all of a sudden he starts transforming and he has to freak out and run into an alleyway or something? Haha, that one sounds difficult to write about, though… But think about that sort of thing.
Maybe think about the five senses? Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch… Anything related to one of those might set off his transformation. Think about the Obsidians, too. What are they like? Since THEY’RE blood causes Ben to transform, maybe the conditions of the transformation are similar to the aliens’s culture…?
I’m not sure about this one. Try brainstorming for a little while.
can anyone give opinions on my superhero? i don’t know whether this hero has been created or not.. but this was my one month idea.. (sorry.. i’m pretty bad in english.. hope u understand).. Well, this is my superhero..
He is a teenage boy.. age around 17-19 years old.. one day, he had a trip with his friends.. one night, he and his closest friend discover that the place that they go has an abandon chemical factory.. then, rain fall down. it was a heavy rain.. he and his closest friend enter the factory.. after a while in the factory, suddenly, a lightning struck the factory and made it explode.. they both “fly out” from the factory.. his friend died because the chemical in the factory had fell on him.. the main character seriously injured.. he couldn’t move.. suddenly, some black radioactive liquid gonna fell on him.. just a few inches above him, suddenly, an enormous lightning struck him.. he fainted.. okay.. thats just a scene on how he got his power..
now.. he can move as fast as lightning(he didn’t run).. when he moves like a lightning, his body changes to a electric particles.. so, when he move, he appear like a lightning struck.. he also can move to the sky( this event make people think that it was a lightning).. he can generate eletric(lightning) from his hand.. he can control the voltage of electric(lightning) that he wants to generate.. he can summon a lightning from the sky.. only his left arm can generate normal electricity/lightning(yellow, blue, red).. due to the black radioactive, his right arm can generate a very powerful lightning, the black lightning.. this lightning can penetrate anything in its way(including mirror, insulator, and titanium steel).. he also can change his body to lightning form.. when on this form, everything get near to him will be struck… even more powerful, he can change to his black lightning form.. everything that near him will be struck by the black lightning and even worse the lightning will penetrate anything on its way.. huh.. thats it..
anyone please comment and give ur opinion on this hero…
Hey there, Akim.
Welcome to Superhero Nation! I’ll try to give you some comments and opinions about your superhero and his origin story.
You might have too many powers, though. I like that he turns into molecules when he travels at lightning speed, but make sure his speed has limitations. I also like that he can summon regular attack lightning with one hand, but extremely dangerous black lightning with the other hand. You should definitely make your hero struggle with the black lightning at first – it must be REALLY easy to hurt someone with it, or hurt himself, or accidentally start electrical fires and burn buildings down. Maybe your hero decides not to use the black lightning because whenever he does, someone gets hurt or something really terrible happens? The power might be really unstable, and might go completely out of control and cause disasters. But as your story continues, he learns not to fear the black lightning and trains with it very carefully so he won’t kill anybody?
About your hero’s origin, why did he and his friends travel to an dangerous, old, abandonned factory? What would make them do that? Is it a dare from their classmates? Maybe the hero and his friend are supposed to help with the “Senior Prank” in high school this year, and there’s something they need from the chemical plant? Do they need a hide-out for some reason, so they hope to hide at the factory so no one will look for them there? Are they lost in the woods one night in the rain, and they decide to take shelter there? You’ll need a good reason for the boys to risk going to such a dangerous place!
About the hero’s powers, I think they sound pretty cool.
I don’t think I liked the idea of your hero being able to summon lightning from the sky. Why do that when he can do it from his hands? And being able to “move into the sky” might be too much. That’s kind of like being able to fly, and you shouldn’t make him fly if he ALSO has the super speed. Maybe pick one or the other?
How are you going to challenge your superhero? What are his weaknesses? What keeps him from being “too strong”?
Um, that’s all I can think of! Good luck with your story, Akim.
I was thinking of coming up with a premise for triggering Ben’s transformation. What about physical exertion? Whenever he gets into a fight with someone, his body “fears” being infected with a foreign substance from the individual he’s in the brawl with, and as a result his immune system sends a special group of antibodies, protecting him and causing the initial transformation?
Thank you StarE. This site has been very helpful in fleshing out my ideas. I started writing sci fi/fantasy when I was in elementary school, and I’ve been writing stories every since. I also wrote a vampire series, where all seven vampire clans were at war with each other over an ancient text, and I’m still trying to flesh that out to “perfection”.
You’re welcome, Chandler and Akim. I’m glad I could help a little.
I assume that was you.
About your cross-over idea, Akim, it sounds like fun but like Marissa said, this probably isn’t the right website for it… You could probably find a roleplay/RPG website that would be perfect for it, though! I used to roleplay online a few years ago, and I actually WAS in a superhero story where everybody mixed their heroes. It was a lot of fun! But it was on a roleplaying messageboard, and not a writing-advice website, heh-heh.
Try searching for “roleplaying forum” or “Superhero roleplaying message board” or something like that, and you might find somewhere fun.
Thank you for editing my paragraph spacings, Marissa.
Hey guys, what about a sorcerer that has a talisman enabling him to absorb mystical energies from certain dimensional pathways, like the ones he’s familiar with?
Okay. I have a premise. A sorcerer named Brahmin, a third initiate in the Tarot Order discovers a talisman, which enables him to absorb mystical energies from certain dimensional worlds. He becomes Grand Master and starts a rivalry with a mutant named Wildcard
Hi! I’m trying to write a novel, running on the lines of action/comedy. It’s about a young man named Charles and his dream is to be a comedian but he never gets the time. He’s just turned 18 and his life is very stressful. He lives with his three younger brothers and sisters, a new born a baby brother, an older brother who thinks he’s in the army, a dog who hates him and her three puppies who hate him too. And his girlfriend, Jane lives with him but they hate each. They constantly do tricks and plans to make each other’s lives a misery. His parents are always working, leaving him to be a sort of father for everyone.
Somehow, he finds a book which basically turns his entire life and the laws of reality into a comedy until he can grasp and control its powers. This gives virtually gives him any ability he wants to be a comedian.
But, the problem is, I don’t know how to fit villains in and structure his powers. I was wondering if you could help me here.
Hello, Outcast. Before the fantastic element was introduced, your story sounded like a workable dystopian family comedy (somewhat similar to Meet the Parents, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Royal Tenenbaums, Step by Step, etc). To me, the magical book feels very out of place, mainly because the comedy kind of hinges on the family feeling at least somewhat believable, which sort of clashes with the magical book.
I’d recommend looking at stories like The Mask, Liar Liar and the novel Yes Man– I think they introduced a supernatural element into the protagonist’s life a bit more smoothly. For one thing, I think it would help if you placed more limits on the powers. It might be smoother to try something like this: the main character has a comically messed-up life, gets fairly conventional superpowers, and then finds that his life only gets MORE messed-up. Right now, I feel that the “he can do pretty much anything that’s funny” will be hard to work with.
Okay I’m trying to correct some flaws in the storyline. He lives with his girlfriend Jane because they accidentally had a baby despite their hate for each other. He has three younger brothers and two younger sisters. They don’t really hate, they just play antics to see how far they can push him. There is also a dog that will do anything for attention and her three puppies that look forward to his misery. Apart from the parents who are never around, there is a renegade cat that actually attacks him when he gets the time.
His life is very stressful; he struggles to cope with having wet dreams, anxiety, bed wetting and other embarrassing things. I’ve decided to change the book to his omnipotent counterpart deity friend called Puck. When he transforms into Puck, the laws of physics and basically everything turn upside-down and comedic.
Brahmin is the antagonist (bad guy), and he had his herald, a being that was resurrected in a Tarot ritual steal the talisman from the Makai temple, but the mutant Wildcard tried to stop him. Wildcard had been rivals with Brahmin from some time back, due to “killing” him, and having him imprisoned in a pocket world. As far as him absorbing inner-dimensional mystical energies, perhaps, he would learn how to use them all, to become a more effective sorcerer. That sounds like a good idea.
I’ve decided to give the main character a few abilities. He is able to do virtually anything he wants as long as keeps his comedic nature.
Outcast, how would you challenge him? :-/
The way he uses his power to warp the very foundation of existence has to have a comedic nature. For example, he could create a gun that shoots the flag out saying ‘Bang’. There are other people who he has to face; they have powers similar to his own but revolving around a completely different nature.
Oh, so the things he creates have to have a comedic nature. It’s definitely original. I’m still a bit skeptical about its workability, though.
Do you think you could write a short scene and display it in action?
Im starting my own novel company and im stillon the basics.One i got over 42 superhumans in all , divided equally in to good and bad. I know how it is going to start and end. By once there was a time were there were super heros who did one differently then the others, and they andIm st one of them end up killing a (unneeded) superhero , so they split and each section wich is about 15 for each one maybe more , it goes they fight intill some crecooperate into the nextplanet mars and thats the good guys and they set up base but whil that happens they get ambushed by the vilians and it drags onto the last planet Pluto where the leaders call the fight between them ( wich are Good:American Arrow and the Bad:still in process of thinking of a name) fight and they battle and they back off and the rest is pretty good.
I was wondering if i could get some tips from you guys.
Hello, Volxwagon! I have a few suggestions…
1. I know one guy that started up a novel publishing company. Even more so than other endeavors in the publishing industry, it is freakishly difficult. It also requires a lot of technical savvy, experience and seed money. I would recommend a more limited project like trying to get a novel published (which is a feat in itself) rather than taking on a vastly more difficult and financially dangerous business endeavor. If you are dead-set on starting your own publishing company, I would recommend at least getting a job in the publishing industry for a few years if you have not done so already– it will probably be superbly difficult to find venture capital without a history of success in the field, particularly in this business climate.
2. I think that brushing up a bit on grammar/punctuation/spelling will help a lot, whether you start your own publishing company or just want to sell your manuscript to a publisher. For example, “Im starting my own novel company and im stillon the basics.One i got over 42 superhumans in all , divided equally in to good and bad.” Here’s how I would proofread those two sentences: “I’m starting my own novel company and I’m still on the basics. I have over 42 superhumans in all, divided equally into good and bad.”
3. Just to make sure I understand this correctly… There are 42 superhumans. One of them kills another, and the 42 split into 2-3 groups of ~15. The groups fight and the good guys flee to Mars. The villains attack and force them to Pluto, where the leaders square off in single combat. Right?
4. Who’s the target audience?
5. I think that it would really help to develop the characters a bit. For example, what are some of the distinguishing characteristics of American Arrow? Is he the main character? Why will we like him? What’s his signature flaw? (For example, Peter Parker gets in a lot of trouble because he isn’t responsible enough… that’s why Uncle Ben gets killed). What are the groups fighting over? If the groups split up into sections of about 15, there might be a third group. What’s its deal? Why aren’t they going along with the other two?
Good luck. Huah!
Hello all! I had an interesting idea today, not sure where I’ll go with it, but my idea was that a motorcycle rider (possibly a mechanic by day) was driving late at night in the rain, and has poor visibility with the rain and the visor on his helmet. So he runs into a guard rail, and flies off of his bike. Before he hits the ground, his bike zooms around to catch him back in the seat. At this point, he realizes his power, he can control machines. The only flaw is that machines are not always cooperative, much like animals, as they can be “tainted” by the souls of their owner. Kind of based off of the idea of kami in classic Japanese mythology. So while he’s figuring out his powers, a biker gang all gain superpowers, and he has to fight to survive their attempt to overtake the city. Sound cool?
That sounds kind of interesting, but if he’s flying off his bike, I’m not sure how much good it will do him to land on his motorcycle rather than the ground. Maybe you could do something more exotic with the motorcycle that somehow engineers a safe landing for him. For example, causing a truck to lose a fairly soft cargo like hay or something, which creates a cushion for him to land on.
Hey guys I was looking at his ability. I was wondering what would be some ways that you would limit this ability?
Biokinesis, also called Somatokinesis or Genetokinesis (when that faculty is used) is the mental ability to alter the DNA structure and personal body functions of oneself and/or others. One with this ability can shapeshift to change one’s skin color, size, weight or appearance (or even to shift from the appearance of one species to another). However, shapeshifting to that of another species can often only be done within the same mass, so one cannot become the size of a mouse or an elephant with this ability. Many faculties and enhancements branch and stem from this ability (variations even allow the user to move and manipulate bodily organs themselves).
Biokinesis is very difficult to limit just because of its sheer versatility. I think the easiest restriction would be a time restriction. That way it wouldn’t matter what he could do, if he can’t get the job done in time. You could put a general limit on how much he can transform. Alternatively, you could have his transformations be painful or uncomfortable so it would discourage him from shifting too much.
Hey, guys. I am rewriting a vampire novel (which I’d like to turn into a graphic novel) titled Dark Millennium. The Templar (who is like a Freemason) is planning to start a new world order. Within the Templar, you have lower level initiates, who are vampires from younger bloodlines, and then you have the upper initiates who are highly evolved. They’re trying to build a hybrid race by mixing Carpathian DNA with vampire DNA. The Carpathians are a Nephilim bloodline that they had been feuding with for centuries.
What do you think? Thanks.
Here are some impressions, Chandler…
1) There are three imaginary words here: Nephilim, Carpathians and Templar (which is a real word, but probably made-up in this context). I feel that’s a lot for ~90 words.
2) What’s a Freemason? Rather than comparing your villain to a concept that readers might not be familiar with, I’d recommend just focusing on the New World Order.
3) Not sure about mixing fantasy elements like vampires with sci-fi elements like genetic engineering. I think that many readers will accept urban fantasy like Dresden Files and most vampire stories set in the modern-day, though. The difference, I feel, is that modern technology is just a part of the setting in books like Dresden Files. In contrast, technology is a major part of the plot of yours– also, it’s science fiction rather than real-life technology.
I’m contemplating another power change for Adrian. I like this one, but it’s definitely a double-edged sword. The power is that his suit allows him to summon both offensive and defense equipment from a junk dimension created for storage by Jimelly. The catch is that, in all of Jimelly’s battiness, he gave the suit’s summoning function a randomizer (or left it with one, I should say). So as opposed to getting just what you need for the situation, you’re more likely to get something that’s barely useful or not useful at all (unless you’re a good improviser
. Before you say it, I know that this power has a lot of potential to make the most ridiculous of Eigen plots. But I also think it has a lot of potential for making creative scenes. Now trust me on this I can handle it.
Ability Breakdown: The [whatever] suit was designed to rapidly train galactic soldier in advanced and not-so-advanced technology by supplying them with a large arsenal of equipment. Due to Jimelly never finishing the suits summoning command system and losing his notes on it in a odd accident the summoning selection function works at random. After a certain time period, the object will be retracted into the suit and there will be a short recharge period before it can summon again.
It functions by the wearer either thinking or saying “Offense” or “Defense” and the suit summons a random object from the storage/junk dimension accordingly. Ranging from a marbles to high-powered energy cannons and a hunk of wood to projective energy fields. It should also be noted that with Jimelly as the owner of the suit there are chances that Showtime’ll summon a non-battle related object.
In the event that a useless object is brought forward the suit has generic physical enhancements to allow for unarmed combat.
(Of course, if I were to explain this in-story I would definitely shorten it up)
The most obvious problem with this new power is that it will be hard to turn him into an alien. The most obvious thing I can think of is that Jim gives Adrian a formula to meld the suit with his DNA, creating a new race of alien (Randomoids, Haha!).
I’m hope I’m not so excited that my judgement is clouded. Set me back on track, B. Mac.
One problem I can already see with the idea is this bit: “Due to Jimelly never finishing the suit’s summoning command system and losing his notes on it in a odd accident, the summoning selection function works at random.”
Since you’ve mentioned a trope, I’ll name another one, No Plans No Prototypes No Backups. It feels rather contrived that he lost his notes and he can’t reproduce them. Can you think of a way around that?
I don’t think with the character that Ragged Boy has shown it would be that odd, but you could have a storyline down the road where Jimelly (I think he survives, doesn’t he?) is forced to attempt to recreate the suit based off the original specifications sent by the corporation or army that ordered the suit, which could lead to either dramedy as Jimelly is never able to reach the heights of previous brilliance as he did with Showtime’s somewhat broken suit, or an adversarial relationship where Jimelly wants to deconstruct it so he can recreate it.
Jimelly could have derived it from the symbiotic technology of an alien race that is now deceased (wiped out by one of your big baddies, perhaps?) naturally possessed the ability to access hammer-space, but used the suit to enhance it, that would explain the randomized factor more thoroughly and why he can’t properly recreate it, if the sample he used in creating the suit formed the base of Adrian’s.
Perhaps the sample Jimelly used contained a rudimentry Artificial Intelligence, and the sample also contained the DNA of the aliens, or the knowledge and materials required for replicating a batch of the of the alien races’ DNA, which it then melds to Adrian after he is bonded with it for a period of time, changing him into a hybrid, and increasing the accuracy of his calls. Just ideas though.
I sort of like the idea of vacuum-space (I once outlined a character that used it, but the character had only serious equipment like M-16s and the like and possibly small vehicles). The restriction that he can’t control what he gets is interesting. I think that the distinction between offense and defense is not very helpful.
However. I’m not sure that this fits the mood/target audience. I think it would be ideal in a situation like Inspector Gadget, where a character has to be unlethal at all costs because kids can’t be shown real violence. So giving him goofy “weapons” is an effective way to keep the violence down, if you need to. However, it’s also likely to compromise the book’s seriousness. If his character arc is him saving the day by getting more serious, I think that would be counterproductive. Also… what I’ve seen so far of his school and home situation seems very serious and gritty. I think it would clash with the random items.
What do you think? Ultimately, that’s a lot more important than my alleged “guidance.”
Hey wuzup SN? I was wondering if anybody knew what kind of abilities someone would have if they could manipulate electrons, photons, and neutrons….
nanokinesis is the name of it…. Nanokinesis- Manipulation of subatomic particles, like electrons, protons and neutrons, including their motion behavior and their chemical processes
thanks guys
You make some good points, particularly about compromising my book’s seriousness. Ultimately, I think I can pull it off. It will be a challenge to make it look serious, but I think I can do it. I think I’ll take away the offense and defense distinction. I agree that it doesn’t add much. I don’t think it will be counterproductive (maybe I have a self-serving bias) simply because he can’t control what he gets. It’s more along the lines of working with what you have and oppose to just getting perfect things. I think it can still be serious, but sort of like One Piece in that there is usually an element of comedy.
Name:
Ht. 6’4
wt. 195
Powers/abilities: His ability is Cosmokinesis. Cosmokinesis is the tremendously powerful superhuman ability to mentally manipulate the energy generated by stars as well as their electromagnetic, gravitational, radiation and cosmic energies (even cosmic rays). Simply put, one could manipulate energy generated by stars, dark matter, quasars and the cosmic media in space. One with this ability could generate stellar winds, solar flares, cosmic storms and even invoke meteor showers (and could be able to manipulate weather as well).
He has the ability to absorb and manipulate energy generated from the the cosmos. This includes suns, stars, planets, or moons. He also has the ability to absorb different forms of energy and convert them into cosmic energy. he uses the cosmic energy to grant him superhuman attributes.
Superstrength (60 tons)
Superspeed(mach 5)
Nigh invulnerability
Superhuman stamina and endurance
Now i kno he seems to be overpowered but i think he will be good for the type of story im creating. My idea is that there is a prominent super hero team. They have saved the world so many times, but over the years they have become corrupt. But to the human population they are held as saviors that can do no wrong. Well this hero stumbles across information and witnesses the corruption with his own eyes. This plus the fact that he finds out that his mother was killed because of this secret.
So he decides that he has no choice but to stand up to them.
What do you think? Let me know.
Ro, I don’t have the time to do more than skim, but a couple of initial thoughts.
1. Height and weight are the two least important traits for 99% of characters. The fact that you list those two but don’t once (if I’m not mistaken) mention personality tells me your priorities need to shift a little before this can even slightly succeed.
2. He’s definitely overpowered. You addressed that, but I’m not sure how your explanation excuses that?
I agree with Marissa. I’d like to know a lot more about what kind of person he is– that’s a lot more important than his powers, his height or weight.
Also, on the issue of overpoweredness. Will you be able to challenge him? I would imagine that there are very few entities in your universe that are powerful enough to do so, so you’ll probably have to keep drawing on the same threats again and again. It might get monotonous?
I came up with a much similar power when planning Showtime. Although, my version was mostly limited to creating a cosmic aura that boosts physical ability and a few things he can evoke. I’d agree to choose one division of his power, physical powers or complex powers. Or a more reasonable mix of both.
I have to agree with the other Ro, your character has just to much going on. In fact i think you could create a whole team with what you have. I don’t think you have a bad idea, but i do believe you will find it difficult to challenge your character and in turn create suspense with your reader. If your character can draw his power from so many different forms of energy, then never have moments of weakness or deadlines by which he has to beat the bad guys. For example, Ghost rider(not one of my favorite marvel characters by the way) can only use his powers at night. So if he does not beat the bad guy by dawn then he loses or has to rely on his brains to win. Also, with your choice of powers for your character have left him no limits. Its one thing to be super strong, but its another to be super strong and to tire at a super slow rate. My suggestion would be to take your list, cut it in half, and then either use the top half or the bottom half. I think it would improve your character if he could have super strength and speed while still get tired relitively easy, or take a licking and keep on ticking(within a reasonable range of course). That way he could either have the strength and speed to take down the bad guy(unless he becomes exhausted first) or he can’t overpower them, but instead can keep trying until he successed. Finaly remember this, everyone love to cheer for the underdog, because it is more exciting when they win.
Yea I guess I just like the idea of supermen like characters. I know nobody here really does…lol. But my opinion is that there will be a balance allowing for a variety of characters.
But my thought was that the team he would have to fight would have uber powerful characters such as the wonderwomans, supermen, green lanterns.
so he would one of many super powerful characters on Earth and in the universe. That was my thinking.
Hmm, okay. My rule of thumb is that it’s easiest to write a character that can fight with street criminals, but it sounds like you could conceivably come up with a novel worth of material out of a team of traitors. (Like a novelized form of Kill Bill… notwithstanding that Kill Bill itself was sort of inspired by a novel). This was also a major part of the first few arcs of the comic series Invincible, although it was just one traitor killing the rest of his teammates one-by-one.
I would, however, recommend simplifying the powers and probably eliminating a few of the aspects that are not as important. Generally, I think a good rule of thumb is “two sentences.” If it takes you more than two sentences (~20 words) to describe the character’s superpowers, there’s probably too much going on.
Ro, I think the limits are a good start, but I still think everything seems over the top. Being able to lift 75 tons means your character could bench press a 747 aircraft, not to mention that he could fly just as fast as a 747. The super stamina is kinda relative, but he sounds like he can last awhile. Of course, all of this is fine, but you need to understand that having a character like this is going to make your job as a writer harder because, in my opinion, you are going to have a harder time making your audience believe in your character. Unfortunately, origin storys like “I’m an alien” or “I got bite by a radioactive bug” just don’t cut it anymore. Yeah, we stll love spiderman and superman, but that is probably because we grew up with them. Nowadays though, I think you are going to have to have an ironclad origin story to make your character work. Also, since your “villians”are going to be even more superpowered than your hero you are going to have to make them believible too.
So to point of all that babbling is this: If you chose to use your character as is, then have a really good background story for how he got his powers and how they work. If you dont do that then I think your character is going to feel fake to your reader.
Yea i appreciate it Ghost. I think there will be room for all of it. You know? As for me i like the over the top stuff as well as the more “believable” stories. My goal is to be able to balance it out with the different characters and their abilities. Like I said there will be challenges and ostacles that he will have to overcome, and at times it will get a little out there, but i think that people will be able to enjoy it. So thats just my opinion and again i definitely appreciate the help.
Ill post some bio info in the next couple of days. Thanks again!
Ro, when I looked up the weight its said 150,000 pound, but of course there are no editorial requirements for the web so my source could be wrong. Also, what I meant earlier about the believablity of story was that your reader may run into problems with suspension of disbelief. Suspension of disbelief, if you don’t already know, is th process by which the reader becomes invested in a story and kinda views it as a form of reality. As a result, readers become anxious when the main character is in trouble, happy when he wins, and sad when he suffers a lose. With your character though, I feel you are going have to work harder to get your readers to suspend their disbelief, because your character is over the top. That is what I was trying to say earlier, not that you should write a more real worldish superhero story like the X-Men movies. So good luck.
So i was thinking. Should the overpowered theory be based on the universe that you have created? I think it should. Clearly a hero like superman is overpowered. But lets pretend that he only had superstrength, speed, senses, and invulnerability.
I dont think he would be considered overpowered. Especially considering the level of heroes that are involved. If the universe is one that includes a planet or even a universe of individuals that are powered similarly, it should even out. Does that make sense?
Hello everybody. Im going to try this again. let me know what you think?
Name: Kratos
Powers/abilities: He has superstrength(60-75 tons), super speed(35-40 mph), Superhuman stamina, Virtual invulnerability(succeptible electricity and im still working on more weaknesses.), and flight(80-90 mph).
Personality: Extrovert, Adventurer, Problem solver. Lacks initimacy, extrmely superficial. He is a politician’s politician. He thrives in the spot light and loves to give speeches to large crowds. He is charming but sometimes he can come across as insensitve to others around him because he lacks intimacy in relationships.
Name: Force
Powers/abilities: His ability is known as kinetic mimicry. He has the ability to mimic an object or persons kinetic energy.
Persoanlity: The Hyper. Overactive thought and behavior, Thrill seeker. Outgoing, energetic. Easily excited and sometimes has outburst of euphoria. His moods shift extremely fast so he is prone to episodes of explosives anger. He is self-centered and is usually absorbed by his own grandiose. He is always showing off. Ladies man. Emotional.
Can be life of the party but can soon become annoying due to his extreme self-centeredness.
Name: Cortex
Powers/abilities: Her ability is Dermal adaptation. She activates her ability by pulling off a layer of skin to revel a new protective covering. She can imitate virtually any kind of material from marble to diamond. Her strength and durability vary based on the material she is mimicing up to 10 tons.
Personality: The resilient. abilty to recover from losses and disappointments remarkably fast. productive good concentration, motivated, effective problem solver.
independent but sometimes unable to recieve help from others. self criticism which causes her to find intense fault in herself and others.
This is all I have so far. Let me know what you think. Thank you
I have some ideas and suggestions for your characters.
Kratos is pretty cool. I’d suggest putting him in a realm with similarly powerful superhumans.
Anyway, he doesn’t have invulnerability if he’s weak to electricity.
My suggestion would be impenetrable skin or resistance to physical harm but not against electricity, drowning, etc.
The other two are awesome!
Ro, I have a comment about the “overpowered theory”
Also the DC writers made sure Superman is no longer “overpowered”, since there’s a whole group with powers like him so he’s evened out with them, and has weaknesses.
Anyway if you have someone powerful don’t put them in a realistic setting, put them in a fantasy realm or a world with others of similar power or above.
I’m going to need some more background, but I have some thoughts based on what you’ve said so far.
- Measuring your character’s powers in quantities is usually unnecessary and might come off as slightly amateurish. I don’t think you need to include numeric measures.
-Kratos seems a bit overpowered. I’d recommend removing the superspeed altogether– it’s probably a bit much when paired with superstrength. I’d also recommend weakening the invulnerability. Readers like when a hero’s life is actually at stake, not when he can shrug off pain and keep going. Readers love the struggles of a beaten, yet persistent hero.
- Kratos and Force’s personalities are a little too similar. It seems like Force is just slightly wilder. I’d recommend differentiating them more.
-All three of your characters have superstrength in some form. You might want to mix it up a bit.
- I actually think what she did was good. They do that on several official wiki’s and website. What if there are two people with super strength a kid with super strength and an adult have different levels.
- It depends on who your writing for, in my opinion. Kratos is a bit strong, but if you numb down the invulnerability to impenetrable skin and make the speed so that it’s fast but not too too fast. As for readers it depends for comics or who your fighting. Claire is technically unstoppable but she can still be drowned, choked, stabbed, Kratos can have similar weaknesses.
-Force mimicks kinetic energy? How does he have a form of super strength?
Force has the ability to mimic kinetic energy. For example, he mimics the speed and strength of a rollercoaster. So, for his abilities to be effective, he also has to move to apply the energy. He couldn’t lift the car, but he could hit it really hard or run through it.
I plan to have characters just as strong and as powerful as Kratos. And he’s not completely invulnerable, just virtually invulnerable. Hopefully that makes sense.
When I put in all the characters from the universe the powers and abilities will even out. I want Kratos to be that Superman-esque character. I don’t think he is overpowered at all. There are examples of characters who are invulnerable but have weaknesses to particular elements or materials. But when I say invulnerable, I meant resistant to physical harm. Basically, anybody stronger than him could drown him or beat him to death. I want my universe to have a balance or a variety of characters.
But that’s just my opinion. Thanks for the input.
Kinetic energy is movement. So I’d assume he could mimic the speed of a car or track. Of course, a side effect of momentum could be strength.
Well, it depends how involved your “God” characters are. What are they doing? In Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan was certainly godlike, but the comic was awesome. Dr. M was a hero for the Government that was losing his humanity and not saving lives. He did eventually come to save the world, but realized the anti-villain’s plan for false peace was better.
If Kratos is in a world filled with people of similar strength, he should be fine in my opinion. Your universe eminds me of anime verses such as DBZ, where the characters mix in. As long as the hero faces problems and is endangered, the story should succeed.
Good luck!
Ro,
Sorry I didn’t reply to your comment– I was out of town. I don’t think that a superhero’s powers are relative to their universe. I think overpoweredness is going to be determined by how different your character is from the average human, and of course your average reader. That difference is the reason why people recommend not using overpowered characters, because the more different your main character is from your reader, the more difficult it is going to be for your readers to relate to them. That being said, it is not impossible to make a reader relate to an outlandish character, but it is a lot harder. So good luck with that.
Also, I like your character outlines. Some people don’t need to have exact information for their characters, but I do. I like to know exactly what their limits are so I don’t change things around too much.
Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I get sorta discouraged because I want to make great work and have people enjoy my art. But I think the best way for me to do that is to allow my creativity to flow naturally. So I’m going to keep posting material and I hope you guys keep critiquing it so that I can make it better. Thanks again!
I have a couple main characters but i cannot put them together in the same story so if any of you have some advice please help. Oh and so far i have “Recon” a genetically and bio enginnered super soilder, “Shade” a former supernatural hunter who leads a rebellion group against vampire control, im not sure on a name for this one yet but can manipulate time (in my mind kind of a matrix thing) also she was a former quantam mechanic. I am forming a plot but i need some help thinking of putting these people together so if you have any help please post.
Depends. One power, if there are ways to use it creatively and it hasn’t been overused (Super strength, flight, and speed are some of the most common overused examples) can actually be better than an assortment. For instance, a character with hydrokinesis, or water manipulation could, in the hands of a good writer, do a variety of things – create a bubble underwater in order to breathe, make a cloud of steam to conceal a retreat, make water swallow up an enemy, even possibly change the weather by using the amounts of water in the air.
Characters with multiple powers tend to be overpowered if done wrong (Looking at you, Superman) but if the powers have limits/are relatively small-scale (Being able to tell if someone is lying as opposed to reading minds, for instance) and if the powers aren’t drastically different (Say, water and ice manipulation as opposed to fire and ice).
Above all, the powers shouldn’t require too much explanation. Maybe…one or two sentences tops. (I dare someone to make a list of all of Superman’s powers – and i mean ALL of them. Even the ones that only lasted for one issue). Keep it simple.
Hopefully this helped.
- Wings
I’m not sure if I would consider these superpowers, but he’s usually pretty good at martial arts and the comics mention his spatial geometry skills a few times. (It’s how he knows the right angle for bouncing his laser). I can’t think of anything more distinctly super than that.
I’ve been tossing around the idea of a villain for my hero Phase (detailed information here for those who don’t know what the heck I’m talking about: http://www.superheronation.com/2008/01/05/8-common-problems-with-psychic-superheroes/ )
Ivan Didrier was once a police officer on Manhatten island. He was taken seriously by his coworkers and was on the fasttrack to be the police sergeant when the current one retired. But everything changed soon enough.
One day, Didrier’s station is called to the home of three notorious gangsters, all well-known (and hated) throughout the community as drug dealers. The station is called in to bust the home, with six men (including Didrier) being dispatched to the scene.
In the ensuing firefight, stray bullets strike Didrier in the eyes, causing them to swell and bleed out. Once the three drug dealers are subdued, Didrier is rushed to the hospital.
Too late to save his vision though. The doctors remove Didrier’s now-useless eyes and, in an experimental surgery to save his vision, the doctors insert synthetic eyes.
These eyes are basically biomechanical orbs, about the size of your average eyeball. Light is absorbed through a glass-like apparatus at the front of each synthetic eyeball. Computer chips at the back of the eye read and interpret this pattern. The data is sent along a near-microscopic wire, which is attached to the now-clipped optic nerve, to the brain for the signal to be interpreted. The light then bounces back out of the eye.
However, the bullets that destroyed Didrier’s vision have also destroyed his sanity. Unlike before the accident, Didrier now is obsessed with revenge, and is insane with it. And he’s got plenty of things to get revenge for. He wants to get revenge on the police station for forcing him to resign due to his disability. He especially wants revenge on the three gangsters who ruined his life.
In preparation for his ultimate revenge, Didrier tweaks his synthetic eye just slightly. He covers the glass-like apparatus with an intense magnifying glass-like lens. This lens focuses the light that bounces back out of the eye, intensifying it into a sort of laser (remember frying ants with your magnifying glass when you were kids?).
So one night, after Didrier has finished all his preparations, he revisits the police station that ruined his life. Didrier, his face covered in a dark red ski mask, body with a dark red sweatshirt, lower body with dark red pants, and hands and feet covered in white gloves and boots respectively, enters the station and melts the security cameras along his way to the cafeteria.
Didrier sneaks into the kitchen and grabs eight long, skinny knives, which he sharpens with his laser vision. He rushes into the cell block, where he sees the three drug dealers and a guard, patrolling the row of cells. Didrier sneaks up behind the guard and trips him, causing the guard to fall to the ground. Didrier flips the guard onto his back and shoves two of the knives into the guard’s eyes.
Didrier does this to the three criminals as well, though he uses his laser vision to get into the cells without keys and to subdue the more violent criminal.
When Didrier is finished, the knives now shoved through his victims’s eyes, he carves an eye into the nearby wall with his laser vision, and walks off.
Ivan Didrier has two powers (three if you count insanity):
- heat vision (the ability to sense heat)
- laser vision (the ability to shoot lasers)
The laser vision takes a toll on his synthetic eyes’s batteries, meaning he has to recharge fairly often.
Ivan Didrier calls himself Gamma, after Omicron, after the Greek letter omicron, which reminds him of an eye.
Didrier/Omicron’s personality/physical traits:
- He is extremely vengeful
- He is obsessed with the human eye, calling it the most valuable piece of Nature’s ingenuity
- He has recruited a team of about twenty henchmen, who were all originally blind, but given sight by Didrier when he installed the synthetic eyes into his henchmen. His henchmen (called Pupils) do not have laser vision, but instead possess guns with heat-seeking bullets
- He is bent on crushing the Manhatten police force and replacing it with himself and his cronies, feeling that he could do a better job of not screwing people over
- He considers himself the chief deliverer of justice, painfully killing anyone he believes has committed a crime on sight, no questions asked
- He sees Phase, the police, and anyone who still puts their faith in the police as a threat to his perfect world
- He has an average thirty year-old’s physique, with dark black hair and expressionless eyes
- His uniform is all dark red with a large eye in the center of his chest
Let me know what you think!
A few quick questions. Does the operation restore his vision successfully? Second, if he does get his vision back, why’s he so obsessed with revenge? What has he actually lost? I’d recommend making the insanity stem from something else– for example, maybe his eyes look REAL freaky and everybody gives him 10-20 feet. Or maybe the vision works but not in a way that it used to. For example, maybe he only sees in black-and-white. That would drive me bonkers.
Does it really matter what he’s wearing when he goes in the police station?
Calling his henchmen Pupils is maybe a bit too punny for a fairly dark, serious story. It’d work better in Venture Brothers, I think.
No problem (remindng you).
Yes, the operation does restore his vision successfully, but the vision goes out at inopportune times.
People do tend to avoid him on the street (just like people tend to avoid people with glass eyes).
He’s bent on revenge because:
- His wife left him after the operation, due to ugliness of the eyes
- The police station fired him. They didn’t want his vision to go out when they’re at a crime with guns involved
Because of these two things, he blames the criminals for getting rid of the two best things in his life. Plus, he blames the police for not trusting him with his new eyes. Thus the grounds for his revenge.
Or the vision could be on a two or three second delay. For example, if someone throws a ball, you’ll realize someone threw the ball three seconds after they threw it. It could have already hit you by then.
But I personally prefer that the vision just cuts out at inopportune times.
I don’t even know why I added what he was wearing that night.
I see that now (the Pupils thing). What is your suggestion for the collective name for his henchmen?
Personally, I don’t think one is needed. Beyond the more campy versions, there isn’t a collective name for the majority of supervillains henchmen, even if they have a theme. Most Joker henchmen wear clown make-up, for instance, but they’re just underlings, nothing more decorative then that.
What if instead of the delay, his vision has small fugacious moments where they blank out, I mean mere milliseconds. To use a comparison, if his vision were a film or animated clip, he’d miss every third or so frame, essentially making his life choppy, like a video game running on a system that can’t handle it. It wouldn’t be a significant weakness like the delay, but it would make it physically hurt to see, which would presumably limit the amount of time he could comfortably see in a day.
I like B. Mac’s suggestion of black and white vision, but perhaps instead of that, the eyes could have been derived from military testing and use light intensifying night vision instead? This would limit his activities to night time due to his greatly increased sensitivity to light. This would also explain why his eyes look so weird, they would presumably glow green quite brightly in response to their nature.
I think someone should make a new superhero universe because DC and Marvel are already too full. I mean, how can any other hero become famous if everywhere you see it’s Batman, Superman, Spiderman or the Hulk tv shows or movies. The only time these heroes got any spotlight was on Batman: The Brave and the Bold or Teen Titans. I wish to make mine a tv superhero first (on a kids’ network like CN) then make it a comic book (hey, it worked for Megas XLR). I think someone (me, if possible) should make a new universe, so how can someone do that?
Launching a new superhero universe is not freakishly difficult; making it popular is. The most feasible way would probably be to start off a comic series.
Here’s an abbreviated how-to guide.
First, you’d get a concept for a plot (rather than a universe), a character trying to accomplish a difficult goal. I’d also recommend thinking about target audience at this point–that will help prevent distractions from plot elements that don’t fit the audience.
Second, you’d write a pilot issue, either designed as a stand-alone or as the first of an arc of probably 3-6 comics. (The fewer, the better). It depends on the publisher, but you’d probably to want your issue’s script at 32 pages if you were submitting to Dark Horse or Image. (The first draft should probably be 40-50 pages, though; that will give you ample material to work with when you’re rewriting).
Third. If you’re submitting a comic that would be the first of an arc, then you’d want a synopsis of what happens over the course of the arc (the 3-6 comics, including issue 1). 1-3 pages. I’d recommend giving each issue a paragraph (more on the rest later). Each issue needs to 1) contain enough material to fit the page count and 2) end with a cliffhanger or discovery that makes the audience want to keep reading. (That’s crucial because you need to show that your series can retain readers from one issue to the next). Then I’d recommend spending the rest of your space discussing arc-wide plot issues (like how the most important character evolves). I’d also recommend discussing business details like your target audience and competing series.
For the competing series section, pick a few well-known works that appeal to a similar audience as yours and then explain why they will pick your work rather than theirs. What makes your work better? For example, if we were doing this for Static Shock, we might write something like “As a regular nerdy student, the protagonist of Static Shock has a similar audience appeal to Spiderman. However, my series will be able to appeal to minority readers because Static Shock is black and deals with issues like racism.” Just come up with something that makes it sound plausible that a few thousand readers a month will pull your series off the shelf.
If you’re submitting a standalone, then I’d go back to your ending and make sure that the character accomplishes enough to leave the reader satisfied but leaves enough open that an editor might think “we could do an issue about that.” For example, if the hero’s main goal is getting revenge against a thug that just killed his family or whatever, he might do so but discover that the problem is actually a lot bigger than just a single thug. If you’re submitting a standalone, the synopsis probably shouldn’t be longer than a page.
Fourth. Check your script again. Is it really as stylish and smooth as you can possibly make it? The publishing company will usually accept or reject your series without reading later issues, so it’s critical that issue 1 hits whatever notes you’re going for (hilarity, intense action, suspense, wit, engrossing romance, etc). Also, make sure that it’s easy to follow and uses as little exposition as possible. (For example, rather than the narrator telling us the story is set in PARIS, FRANCE, you could show the characters doing something with the Eiffel Tower or Arc de Triomphe in the background).
Fifth. Check out the submission requirements for the publishers you’re interested in. If they require more, do so. For example, Image requires five fully colored pages but Dark Horse does not. (Every publisher appreciates colored pages, though; if the pages are good, they will instantly make your proposal more professional, feasible and fleshed-out). If you plan to do art before submission, you have to line up at least an inker and a colorer at this point. These have to be the artists that you will use for the series– the sample art is no good if it will not actually look like the comic book you will actually produce.
Sixth. Read through all of your materials again and make sure that they are coherent and persuasive. Why will thousands of readers want to buy this? Remember, show-don’t-tell. It is not good enough to say “they will want to buy this because it is an exciting thriller about a relatable protagonist.” Your opinion does not matter to the editor. It is much, much more effective to give the editor the evidence so that he can decide on his own. For example, “Dead on Arrival is about a poisoned high schooler who has two days to solve his own murder,” etc. It’s easy to see why that would be exciting and why high schoolers would want to read about this protagonist.
Seventh. Once you’re sure you have everything, submit to publishers. You’ll be waiting for a few months, so in the meantime I would recommend writing out your next issue.
Eighth. Best case scenario: the publisher says yes. Next best case scenario: the publisher gives you a list of changes it would like to see and asks you to resubmit as soon as possible. Next best scenario: a personalized rejection letter. (This shows that the editor liked your submission more than most of the other rejects). Most likely scenario: silent rejection. Unless you get accepted, revise your story and keep submitting until you get accepted. This might take months.
Ninth. Once you are accepted, get your book out. (Your editor will lay out what he wants to see and when, so that’s a big help).
Tenth. If the sales on your standalone impressed the publisher, they might ask for more issues at some point in the future. If you started with an arc and they’re impressed with the sales, they might ask for another arc or maybe even offer an ongoing series. But, yeah, the sales are really important. If you have them, you can take it from a single issue to a gradually expanding series (and maybe even a true universe someday). If sales are bad, the publisher will probably let it end as scheduled. If sales are REALLY bad on an arc, the publisher might pull the plug before all of the issues have been released.
If the sales are really, really good, you might be able to make a cartoon out of it someday. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, though; there are extremely few superhero cartoons that aren’t licensed by DC or Marvel… if working on a superhero cartoon is what you want to do more than anything else, I suspect it would be best to work for either.
As I noted above, I think comic books (or novels, for that matter) are most feasible. Comic books and novels are fairly cheap to produce. Releasing a first novel might cost a publisher tens of thousands of dollars (the author’s advance, the cost of printing and distributing a few thousand copies, editors, any promotions, etc). Comic books are probably somewhat more expensive. If we’re talking about an arc of series, I imagine we’d be somewhere in the low six figures. I’m pretty sure that a cartoon would be vastly more expensive than that. I’m trying to remember the figure cartoonist Harry Partridge (the guy that did Saturday Morning Watchmen) quoted me, but I think it was $10,000 for a 90 second cartoon clip. EVERY EPISODE is 20-22 minutes long. If you’ve ever looked through the credits on a cartoon show, just count how many people are involved in the production. I find it hard to imagine that you could get a cartoon show out for less than a million. This raises huge obstacles for an unproven, young writer. What 50 year-old studio executive wants to bet millions of dollars (and probably his job) on a 20 year old? Hell, he wouldn’t even bet millions of dollars on a well-established B-list series like Hellboy. It’s a lot safer to go with another iteration of a series that has demonstrated appeal to young viewers (Superman/Batman/Justice League and Spiderman/X-Men, mostly).
THANK YOU.
Well, I don’t know about a kid who faces racism, but he’s somewhat a fusion of Eric Foreman (That 70s Show) and Spiderman. He reads comic books and knows the responsibilities of having superpowers… so he doesn’t want them (only the powers) but since he has them, he’s constantly guilted into being a hero. He faces crime with a sarcastic attitude. It’s got jokes and a lot of secrets of how he got them. My inspiration was basically Naruto and many superhero stories. I know it won’t be easy, but even Ben 10 (which made no sense) could do it, so I’m going to try. I’ve already written three scripts (the first one being an hour-long episode) and I need nine more because I’m going to Burbank, California in a year. If I get this done, my next step is making a new comic brand.
Hmm. Screenwriting is definitely not my forte, so take this with a huge chunk of salt. Generally, I’d recommend submitting a sample that’s as close to the end product as possible. If they’re evaluating a 20-22 minute show, I’d recommend giving them a sample script that’s 20-22 minutes long. Is it common for cartoons to do an hour-long pilot? (Well, Justice League started out with three sequential episodes, but they aired separately).
I suspect that they would not require you to have the scripts for all of the episodes in season one ready when you make your pitch. Perhaps Tom could help you more about the particulars; he’s making a run at getting a superhero cartoon on the air and sometimes I can sort of conceivably imagine him pulling off something that feels so batshit impossible to me. (Don’t take that as a judgment on your talent, though–convincing a businessman to bet millions of dollars would be prohibitively difficult for anyone).
If TV writing is really your thing, I think it’d be more feasible to work your way up the ladder by writing for a show currently on the air or taking a position at a studio and networking like crazy. I’m struggling to come up with the name, but I vaguely remember reading about a 20-something Marvel writer that worked his way up through its studio and writes for Ironman now.
I’ve got a question– I’m concerned with putting too many heroes and villains into my story because of the trap my favorite show, Heroes, fell into. B. Mac, what would you recommend?
“I can’t see the story being longer than 200 pages. Is that bad?” Well, it depends on your target audience. 200 pages is probably around 50,000 words, which sounds workable for a young adult novel. (Note: publishers count words, not pages– the amount of words per page varies based on type settings). If you’re looking at readers older than 16, I wouldn’t recommend submitting with less than 65,000 words. But you need to write more than you end up submitting; it will be very difficult to pull off a rewrite without having the flexibility to cut out sections that aren’t working as well as the rest.
If you’re having trouble making 65,000 words, I’d recommend checking out How to Beat Writer’s Block Parts One and Two.
“I’ve got a question– I’m concerned with putting too many heroes and villains into my story because of the trap my favorite show, Heroes, fell into. B. Mac, what would you recommend?”
Don’t lose track of what’s important. I think that the Invincible comic book series successfully pulled off a large cast because it had a main character and didn’t try to keep working the same characters into the plot. For example, I think Heroes had a lot of trouble after the first season because the writers couldn’t bring themselves to admit that Syler never really had a plausible role after that. (Spoiler) He really should have died in the final episode of season 1. After that, they tried an increasingly convoluted series of idiot plots to keep him around even though there is no remotely sane reason ANYONE would trust him for a moment. (For example, the Company put him in a minimum security prison at the beginning of season 2, made him an agent later, Denko not only made him a cop but let one of his own men get killed in his place, and Matt Parkman decided not to execute Sylar to let Mrs. Petrelli keep a son). Invincible did better because there was a single recurring plot– Invincible maturing and trying to stop the conquest of Earth by alien forces– and worked in the side-cast in a natural and fluid way. This means that you may have to let side-characters go when they are no longer useful to the plot. Not a problem.
In novels, I really like how the Wild Card novels handled a big cast. They didn’t have a main character. It wasn’t even centered on a single team (unlike, say, the Avengers). One of the reasons that I feel this was effective for Wild Cards was that the first novel is set up as a string of mostly self-contained short stories. For the most part, the reader doesn’t have to remember the characters that showed up 20 or 40 pages ago because they’re already out of the story. Although the characters don’t overlap much from one short story to the next, the plot events do.
In general, though, I think it’s easier to keep the plot focused with a small number of main characters. Even if the characters have a fairly simple goal (like “kill the bad guy”), it will be difficult to try something like 7 main characters because it’s so hard to develop that many characters.
Justice League successfully pulled off a large cast, but I think only because most of its main characters are already well-known and don’t require much introduction. Additionally, the Justice League TV show tended to focus on just a few heroes in any particular episode. This is similar to Wild Cards’ setup.
…
Also, villains. If you’re writing a novel, I’d recommend having only one main villain. Trying more than one is very dangerous because it’s easy to end up with an incoherent mess of a plot. For the purposes of plot coherence, it would probably be best if the other villains were subordinates/henchmen/lieutenants of the main villain.
B. Mac, I’m not sure I agree with you on your villains sentiment. Several groups of villains, like the Brotherhood in the first X-Men, the Decepticons from Transformers, or the mini-gang of baddies from Heroes have done well without things seeming too confusing. As for coherence, as long as they don’t pull the Heroes move of trying make us care about an admitted psychopath (why didn’t Bennet kill Sylar when he had him locked up for like, five episodes?).
B. Mac: “If you’re writing a novel, I’d recommend having only one main villain.”
ShardReaper: “I’m not sure I agree… Several groups of villains, like the Brotherhood in the first X-Men, the Decepticons from Transformers, or the mini-gang of baddies from Heroes have done well without things seeming too confusing.”
I don’t think the problem applies to comic books or TV shows much. (Maybe because novels have to stand on their own more than comic book issues or TV episodes do). Can you think of a few first novels that have been published in the past decade with more complicated villain schemes than one main-villain-and-his-subordinates?
It’s like a pornographic Highlander that is worried about being sued. “He has a side-kick that is a famous Scottish actor playing a Spanish-named character and sometimes wears a dress instead of clothing…”
Some personality traits that might be associated with a wise-cracker are cynicism, irreverence and maybe rebelliousness. (Superficially, we might call the character sarcastic, but I’d like to stay away from that because it’s more of a manner of speech than a personality trait).
Stereotypically-wise, characters who are lazy and won’t act without bribery are usually forgiven if they are above and beyond competent. Characters who are weak or have difficulty with controlling with their power are usually nice guys if they happen to be the protagonist. However, from what I know, characters who are whiny, lazy, and altogether incompetent are generally hated by the
But I have the same request as Ragged Boy, can you please give more clarification on your main character’s abilities and the reasoning behind it? I am rather confused.
My Inconvenient Life
The story revolves around the everyday life of Michael Williams, who is a jobless, 18-year-old teen. Michael is usually surrounded by a collection of crazy characters that, in his point of view, act as if they dislike him. He struggles to live a normal life because he is often caught into events that are often set in motion by events, ranging from the fairly typical to the supernatural and extraordinary, which frequently happens upon him.
Michael is often delusional and most of the time, is controlled by his own imagination. He tends to make jokes every time he feels uncomfortable; this acts as a defense mechanism. He is often confused by the contradictory and hypocritical behavior of many people; they mysteriously turn like this when Michael is caught in another adventure. Michael does have powers; he can create things from nothing, warp reality, and shape shifting.
“The story revolves around the everyday life of Michael Williams, who is a jobless, 18-year-old teen.” That sounds like an autobiography I wrote once.
Anyway, I think this sounded promising until the last sentence or so. First, I think that the powers are pretty out-there. I’d recommend going for powers that are a bit more down to Earth– it might keep him and the story more relatable. Second, umm, what’s the plot? If I had to guess, it sounds like “A string of random things happens to a character.” That’s probably not much of a story. A central goal and antagonist may help give focus. Third, why is Michael the protagonist? Is there any reason HE gets embroiled in all these random adventures rather than somebody else? Luck/contrivance is usually an unsatisfying explanation for events in a story…
Finally, what’s the event that kicks the story into motion?
God of Comedy:
So, this is one of those “Only Sane Man” stories? Ok, so he can warp reality and shapeshift, but what about these ‘crazy characters’ around him? If he’s so ordinary, why are these crazy characters attracted to him or want to wreak havoc on his life? Usually I think that pleasantly normal characters that are repeatedly put into crazy situations work well as a gag, but gets stale quickly, because by the end of the story segment, the normal characters wants to undo all of the damage and makes things go back to normal.
I will be shameful and use Timmy from Fairly Odd Parents as an example. Though the plot is meant to be episodic, Timmy repeatedly wishing “I want everything to go back to normal!” is annoying at the end of every episode. He abuses the reset button over and over and doesn’t gain anything from the original wish. Everything’s back to normal, what was the whole point of the conflict?
Oh, sorry, I forgot one other thing. Originally I wanted the hero to have superstrength and flight as well as the ability when other other superpowered beings are around. [EDITOR: ?] He would faint or lose energy when this would happen. The reason I didn’t want to do this is because I feel it’s been done too much. With the telekinesis, he doesn’t have use of one hand so he has to do it with one. Eventually, he’ll have use of both hands, but one will always be better than the other.
What about a fifteen year old kid who has sort of what the alien boy from ‘Race To Witch Mountain’ has?
I got the idea while we were driving home from a party. (this topic isn’t about plots so I’ll leave it at that).
Thing is, I need help with the particulars. I was thinking his ability is like his skin turns into Superman’s, kind of, or like metal or something. … this isn’t helping I know. Let me try again.
When he’s about to impact something (like go through a windshield and hit the pavement) his skin becomes like rock, so that he doesn’t get a gazillion cuts or break his neck. But then wouldn’t his bones have to be hard too?
-Would whatever he hit just react normally and he’d get a little jarred but otherwise be fine; or would the ground give?
-What if he punched something, would it simply not hurt him, how would it affect whatever he punched?
-What if he jumped off a building?
-Would he be heavier?
-Should there be any visible difference when his skin turns all metal-ish or rock or whatever, or should it just look normal and nobody can tell the difference except for the fact he’s not injured? Aaand …
-is this a sort of gary stu power, what weaknesses could he have? (that is, if I’m turning this into a superhero story, I think I am but I’m not sure, I haven’t written anything superhero-ish in a long time. But maybe he should have weaknesses anyway, right?)
It’s that time of the month again… the List of Superpowers is going screwy because it has more than 1000 comments. I’m going to erase a few hundred.
I’ve never seen Race to Witch Mountain.
…
I think that most of the questions you’ve asked are purely at your discretion. For example, if you wanted to, you could have his legs get tougher when he jumps off the building (allowing him to jump farther and faster). If he has REALLY powerful legs, he might cause some damage to the part of the roof he jumps from and the pavement where he lands (each reaction has an equal and opposite reaction). If his skin looks metallic when he gets hit, it’ll be much harder to keep it a secret. Maybe even implausible that he’d have kept it a secret, if it is.
As long as you can come up with practical ways for his antagonists to defeat him, I think that he’s limited enough that we’d wonder if he could pull it off. It sounds like he’s more or less bulletproof, but I imagine that a 15 year old could be overpowered if he’s not careful. Especially if he’s up against enhanced antagonists.
…
Scientifically speaking, the bones (and probably most of the body) would have to harden to survive being thrown from a car. (Watch a crash dummy test sometime and bear in mind that the character might be in combat when the crash happens rather than safely buckled in). But that’s a scientific detail that most readers probably wouldn’t care about. If you want to say that the skin only gets hard at the point of impact, I think that would work.
Hey, Luna!
Just my two cents. Yes, the bones would have to harden if he hoped to survive. The situation is scientifically similar to blocking an attack with a shield. If the impact is strong enough (or your arm is weak enough) you can still break your arm even if you’ve successfully blocked. I think his skin visually turning to metal would be a good limitation… and it would look cool.
If you didn’t want his weight to change much when his skin turns you could qualify it by saying that it’s a organic metal or say it’s similar to carbon fiber (light but tough). Conversely, his weight changing could also be a good limitation. He would have to use his powers differently in situations such as being in water, being on a weak floor, or being in sand. Could be fun to write scenes with.
Sorry, gotta go. Bye!
Hey RB! yeah, I had a Vaio. It was really old but it worked for around eight years, so I think Vaios are good. (Don’t quote me, though).
Thanks for the suggestion…
I meant ‘like metal’ not actually metal but you’re right that’d look really cool. Anyhow… alright, so his bones will have to turn metallic as well.
Oh, B.Mac. I didn’t know where to put this, so… Nice new banner-thing. Though it is taking some getting used to. I’m so used to seeing the flag.
Thanks. I finally got to a computer with Photoshop, so I redid the banner in a way that looked a bit more writerly.
In my novel Badazzes, The Badazzes are a group of five people. The team leader, Kid Badazz has super-strength, supersonic flight, durability, limited telepathy, energy manipulation and projection. Indigo relies on his two guns and katana, but he is blessed with superhuman reflexes and senses. Magna possesses magnetic powers, Sapphire can control life-force, and Onyx can turn into a black hardening substance. I need feedback.
Hello kid_omni.
Here’s what I think:
I’m a little wary about the name Badazzes for your team. It could come off as pretentious to a publisher. Alternatively, they may find the spelling cheesy. If you decide to go with the name, be sure to back it up in-story. But I’d recommend you have a back-up title planned just in case
I think that Kid Badazz is a bit overpowered to be part of a team. The rule of thumb is that when making a team of superpower it’s best to limit the amount of superpowers per member to 1 or 2. I think if you’re creative enough you could make his energy manipulation the source of his durability, super-strength, and flight. The rest of the characters seem well set.
Also, before I edited your comment it had numerous glaring mechanical issues. I’d recommend proofreading your writing and focusing on improvement. Remember that when you’re trying to get published publishers are cut-throat about clean writing. more than a few errors can get you instantly rejected.
On another note, I’m more interested in hearing about their personalities and how they work in a group.
Hey,
I’m starting to write a novel about someone (Adrieene) who hunts down people with superpowers – not entirely by choice. Than, due to some complicated situation that I haven’t entirely figured out yet, she is injected with a needle and given powers herelf, creating a small conflict of interests.
Anyways, my question is this: Is darkness a good power to give her? I thought that it could have potential, but I don’t want to choose it just because it sounds cool.
Any Ideas?
–Echo–
I think the power of “Darkness” is a little too broad. I’d recommend coming up with a definitive list of abilities associated with her powers. When I think darkness the powers that come to mind are:
- controlling shadows (including pulling them out of the ground to form objects and constructs.)
- the ability to become a shadow or hide in existing shadows.
- the ability to make a dark fog that can blocks out light.
- the ability to make someone’s shadow into a sort of voodoo doll (whatever is done to the shadow is done to the person.)
- converting shadows into energy for projectile attacks.
I’m sure there’s more just use your creativity. As for fitting into your story, I suspect darkness powers could work well. I need to know more about the setting, though.
Ragged Boy,
Thanks for the advice! Your right, I should have been more descriptive. What I was thinking was that she could hide in shadows, as well as be stronger in the dark – kind of “super senses,” I guess. I really like your voodoo doll idea – although completely controlling someone would be pretty hard to beat. Unless, of course, she couldn’t do it at night… and I guess she’d probably make a lot of enemys that way. And I could probably avoid the whole “emo” thing easier, which was what I was worried about the most.
As for my setting… at this point, I pretty much have no idea. I was thinking of doing it in New York, but that seems a little difficult, seeing as I’ve never been there, and it seems to have it’s own culture/ lifestyle that I don’t think I could really pull off. For now, I’m leaning towards creating my own city.
The atmosphere would probably have an underground feel. The general public doesn’t know about people with powers, and both sides are trying to keep it that way. I thought that that could maybe make some other obstacles – good idea?
I think your atmosphere could work well with your character’s abilities. I like it. I’d recommend staying away from NYC as your setting it’s been done, and done, and done. I think a fictionalized city could work well. I know I’m using one, although, mine is heavily based after a real city (Los Angeles). As long as you can make it interesting I say go for it.
Although one of my novels is set in the “real” world and some of the heroes reside in NYC, the main reason I did this was so that I could lampshade the crap out of it. In my other novel, I am also working with a fictional city, as the “universe” there is more akin to a Marvel-or-DC superhero world than the real one.
To be fair, it depends on your story…If you’re sticking with the “real” world research is a lot more important. Fantasy and advanced science fiction elements might not mesh as well in a real-world setting. If it seems plausible enough (Milder science fiction elements and natural mutation based powers falling under “plausible”) it could probably be pulled off in a “real” world. More fantastic/magical elements seem like they would fit better in a fictional universe.
In short, it could go either way.
…I’m no help at all, am I?
- Wings
Well, I want to create a dude who has powers to control ink and colors, but I don’t know where to start. Any help people?
Hello Jaronblaze, or should I say Kid_Omni, (Your disregard for mechanics and use of ALL CAPS were a dead giveaway)
You don’t have to use fake names. We don’t mind if you have more than one ideas. Um, your comment really doesn’t give me anything to help you with. If you want to create the character then do it. You need to be more specific with what you want help with. Personality? Appearance?
Again I’d like to raise the point of working on your writing ability. It’s really jarring to read your comments sometimes and if you plan to get published they need to be at a much higher level.
An art manipulator of sorts…Depends on how his powers work. Can he literally control colors, bring drawings to life, or does he just have something like telekinesis only over ink?
- Wings
Wings,
I completely understand what you’re saying ( except, I have to admit, I have no Idea what lampshade means) I don’t think that I’m going to create an entirely new universe, because that seems like a huge amount of work. Besides, it doesn’t really fit the genre I’m going for – kind of a contemporary supernatural, if that makes sense. I’m probably going to end up making my own city,though, because no other city really fits the atmosphere I’m going for, or at least none that I know.
What do you think of the name Skypoint? It’s for a fairly busy city, has a pretty busy nightlife, but looks “average” during the day. Lots of apartment buildings and condos, etc.
jaronblaze,
I ‘m pretty much completely new to this site, so I’m not sure if my advice is the best, but I’m going to give it a go anyways. In my opinion, it’s pretty much up to you where you want to start. You could start with the character, if you wanted to – figure out what they’re like, what the villains like and develop a plot from there. Basically, figure out the motivations of the two, and see what happens when they collide, for lack of a better word.
A lot of people also start out making a plot, and then developing a character from it. For example, you might want your character to be famous artist who discovers his powers, and gives up his job to save the world, a very basic plot line. In that case, you would give the character traits you think would fit your storyline, like honest but impatient, or absent minded but easily frustrated.
Hope I could help!
Bringing drawings to life, Manipulation of colors, telekinesis over ink doesn’t sound bad either. Another reason why i thought of this idea is because i am a tattoo artist myself. I also paint, do grafetti and i bring a drawing pad with me everywhere i go. I observed that this power can be creative & destructive. I also developed a weakness for my character. Since his abilty is more on the creative side that means that it would come from the mind, so a possible weakness would be that my character cannot be tired or crank he has to be 100% focused and if he’s not focused to that point it will not work. My character’s name is Jason now. Jason’s ability has a limit & if he goes over that limit, Jason will suffer from a temporary mental overload and he will not be able to use this power for a certain amount of time. Remember: the main source of his power comes from the mind. So any psychic attacks are a weakness also.
A tattoo artist you say? Sounds cool. I suspect you could consider the ability to make his tattoos come to life. They are ink after all. I suspeect he would need some sick tattoos, though. I think his powers could have the potential to be really cool. But they also run the risk of being overpowered. If he can make almost anything he wants it would be pretty easy for him to get out of most situations.
I have a question. How can a ability like a transmutation be a offensive ability?
The same way it can be a defensive ability. You turn objects into weapons that you can use in combat.
Well Ragged Boy like i said, Jason powers are limited & his weaknesses include Psychic attacks. And remember he has 2 be focused in order to use this power
So u mean i would turn a pencil into a sword? that’s a transmutation? ok now i am lost
Okay, what’s your definition of transmutation?
So will all of his villains be psychic? That sounds highly impractical. Focus is more exploitable, but I still feel like it’s not enough. If the character easily looses focus he will loose, and if villains exploit his lack of focus too much it could come off as cheesy.
I’d recommend a more definitive limit, like he can only create five things at a time or the longer he maintains something the more strain he feels or he can only create things in proportion to how much ink or color he uses or something. Just something more definite. As of now he have a “do anything” window and loose restrictions.
My character Jason will have the ability of Aura Vision. With aura vision he will be to see what kind of person you are or how you are feeling depending on the color of the aura that is around them. FEEDBACK PEOPLE.
For Example: if you have a red aura around you, then that will mean that you are either: hateful, violent, in pain, you are in guilt, etc.
Blue Aura: calm,sad
Green Aura: envy, health, sickness, hope
Transmutation- The ability to alter chemical element, changing them from one substance to another, rearranging the atomic stucture
I’m not saying that all of his villains have to be psychic. Not all of Superman’s enemies have kryptonite. I mean he is not immune to psychic attacks, because the main source of his powers come from the mind. So if he wakes up with a migraine, it won’t work. When i say limit i mean. The bigger the creation, The more energy he would lose. Is that clear to you? i don’t mean it in a disrespect way because i understand that you are trying 2 help Ragged Boy.
If you take Jason’s ink, grafetti, notepad, or whatever artistic tools he will have is taken from him. The only thing he would have to depend on is the tattoos on his body.
I have a tattoo of a lion on my arm. So that is 1 thing he can create. Remember Jason can’t fly or run incredibly fast, so i was thinkin maybe Jason can draw a black circle on the ground or wall and he can transform it to a black hole. That will be his form of transportation. Like teleporting almost
Jaronblaze, I’m going to respond to all of your comments in the order that they’re in:
1)I’m not really reeling the aura vision. For one, he already have a pretty strong and unique primary power, I think adding more powers would overload him. If you’re dead set on using aura vision I’d recommend making each color mean one thing only. If one color means more than one thing it could confuse readers. I’m already confused on how the same color means both sickness and health.
2)Your definition of transmutation is correct. I’m not sure what there is to be confused about. In layman’s terms its the ability to turn one object of one proportion to another object of equal propportion. So you would not be able to make a small pencil into a large sword, but you could make a large sword into a large pencil and vice versa.
3)I fully understand what you mean with your limitations, but you’re not understanding what I mean. But it’s fine, I suspect this won’t be a problem for now.
4) When you say if you take Jason’s graffitti do you mean he carries it around? Or that it just happens to be around whenever he needs it?He seems to carry a lot of equipment, I’m interested in seeing what his costume will looks like. I’m curious, how does he use artistic tools in combat?
5) Quick question? Is this character based after you? If so that could bring up some very important Mary Sue issues. And with what you’ve told me it seems he’s well on his way to becoming one. I’m not feeling the black hole thing. It’s an effective mode of transportation, but it’s also a get-out-of-trouble free card. If he uses it to get out of problems it will come off as lame, but if he doesn’t it will come off as poor writing. I think you could get away with him creating a vehicle to use. My character, Showtime, uses his control of water as a form of transportation.
i don’t mean that he fights with grafetti cans, because remember he can bring drawings to life. So he will take out his grafetti can & draw something real quick depending on the situation. Who is mary sue?
Ragged Boy you have like the best comments and i only want feedback from you just kidding. I need help with a name & possible origin because i don’t want Jason to be born with the power, it sounds to plain.
Jason’s tools will include a:
-2 grafetti cans
- sketchbook
- permanent markers
- pens
- cans of ink
and more i just can’t think at the moment.
all these items will be in the backpack he will carry.
and the tattoos on his body serve as weapons too.
how does showtime use water as transportation. Is he a hydrokinetic?
And i was also thinking that Jason’s form of transportation can be something that he creates from a drawing.
jaronblaze:
If you want, you can start with researching fictional characters that share similar abilities. I can think of Sai from Naruto from off the top of my head, he infuses chakra into his drawings to bring them to life, and uses them both on the offensive/defensive. From ancient mythology, a child that imprisoned an emperor and his army on an island he had conjured using his drawing abilites, in order to stop a war. Or another story about a monk that was able to predict the future of distant or short-coming events with the aid of his constantly moving tattoos.
This type of ability is not necessarily overused, but setting limitations for your character would be difficult.
how can this be offensive & defensive painted saint
give me an example of what sai actually does with drawings
Hey guys…I’ve recently started working out a superhero story that involves a society in which superheroes start being cut down in a series of strange murders. Anyone that starts to become a successful vigilante is almost guaranteed to be killed soon after. As such, ten years later, a small group of people aim to find unsuccessful superheroes (who would not be targeted), and make them fully-fledged heroes, to inspire hope in a dull, lifeless world that has become too scared to stand up for others…
The point of their powers is that they are not completely cut out for being full-on superheroes, but have high potential. The main group’s powers are:
1: A sporty girl who can channel her chi (or bodily energy) into different parts of her body, like her fists (to deal shattering punches) or feet (to make large jumps and boost her speed). However, in the brief moment her chi is being chanelled somewhere, the rest of her body is VERY fragile. This, combined with her reckless nature, makes her vulnerable for serious injury.
2: A boy who can shapeshift into his inner animal…in this case, a ferret. Good for evasion, agility and stealth, but not very offensive, and can make him vulnerable.
3: A young man who can make air molecules vibrate so intensely, he can create shockwaves that explode from his body…however, he can only use his powers when in a state of rage. His anger, plus the severe headaches that come with his ability, make his powers almost impossible to direct or control…making him just as dangerous to allies as he is to enemies.
4: A girl who’s parents had come into contact with alien spores during her conception. She is born covered in microscopic barbs that inject a paralyzing venom into anyone who touches her, much like a jellyfish. Her hair is particularly potent, but cannot be cut since it contains thousands of nerve endings (yes…she can feel pain through her hair). Although her venomous touch is good for disabling enemies, she cannot come into contact with allies, victims or civilians, and her poison can be lethal if accidentally applied to certain parts of the body.
5: A young man who’s skin is made up of a hard, organic, clay-like substance, which can endure most blunt and sharp attacks, even bullets. It also gives him a certain degree of physical strength. However, like clay, he cannot get it too wet (or he goes soft, and therefore vulnerable) or too dry (or his skin solidifies and cracks apart).
If I could get some feedback (and possible hero name ideas, if any come to mind) it would be very much appreciated.
(Characters are still in development, but still owned by myself. Do not steal!!)
I like the assortment of characters, personally, nice bit of variation on popular standard characters, and natural limitations are a plus. The plot sounds like a nice mixture of Mystery Men and Watchmen.
Two concerns I would voice is the mixture of science fiction (Jelly Girl) and mystical (girl with the Chi power, and possibly the ferret one as well) tend to only exist beyond a compiled force from a widespread existing universe (Marvel’s Avengers and DC’s Justice League, for instance, typically, each character has existed for years or even decades before joining the team) and comedies / parodies (Mystery Men, Soon I Will Be Invincible) which, if your work is not, might send the wrong message.
Another concern is, the girl afflicted by the spore’s predicament is extremely close to that of Rogue’s of the X-Men franchise, in case, you’re not aware, she has uncontrollable potentially fatal power-absorbing abilities that prevent her from engaging in any physical contact. it is entirely possible that the planned handling of the character is far different from that, but it is a competing angle that should be considered.
As far as name suggestions, the only real suggestion I have would be considering incorporating the word Golem into the name of your clay person (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem) as it is a creature from Jewish folk lore, generally held to be animated clay.
Good advice all around, thanks very much! The Golem aspect is something I hadn’t thought of, but it fits perfectly with the character. I hope you don’t mind if I use that.
As for the mystical/sci-fi mix, I was really going for an all-round superhero-themed story…many stories do fix around a core concept that results in superhuma characters (genetic experimentation, mutation, magical effects etc), but I wanted to create a world in which the superhero origins would vary greatly…indicating that heroes are still being born, by various means, just a lot fewer of them have turned to vigilanteism. But I see your point. I’ll have to see what others think of the mix.
Also, I created my jellyfish-girl-character more over my interest in jellyfish than my interest in creating an ‘untouchable’ character, but I was aware of her resulting similarities with Rogue. As such, I’m planning on making it an important point that the girl in question is completely asexual, and thus not as likely to be concerned about wanting physical contact. In fact, others tend to be confused as to why she seems realtively unbothered about her predicament.
She develops a close friendship with my clay person (who is immune to her touch), but as a character, she has few qualms concerning physical contact. Instead, the main focus on her character is more about where the spores came from, why they affected her…and more worryingly, if she might be a host for producing more of them. Her inability to touch others is obviously a problem at times, but it takes a back seat in her character development.
Hola Jaronblaze,
Showtime’s powers allow him to control water and its properties. He can skate on streams of water or blast himself along with water-propelled super jumps. When he goes full alien he can surround hmself in water and fly like a torpedo. That’s how he gets around.
As for your character it’s actually quite simple how he would use his powers offensively and defensively. He would simply summon or create weapons or other equipment for combat. It just occured to me that I have a character, Sketch, with a much similar power. His sketchbook is an advanced piece of technology that lets him bring his drawings to life. His limitation is that he can only draw one thing per page and he only has a set amount of pages the book lets him use. Also, if he’s separated from the book his powers don’t work. I designed a strong set of weapons, creatures, and defensive parameters that he can use. That way he’s cool, but has a good limitation. (I love when character’s get their powers through things)
Sai will draw a drawing really quickly or have one already drawn, then he infuses his chakra into the ink to make it come off the page. He has drawn a dragon to attack someone, a bird to fly on, and a pack of mice to search for him.
As for a name all I can think of so far is Ink, but that was used in Batman Beyond. I think you could use it though. I just think it’s a good fit.
My character will have a backpack where he keeps all of his artistic tools: spray paint, sketchbook, cans of ink, inkbrushes & even sharpie markers. I think his name would be Shade. He can create various weapons, strange creatures & even people. But I just need help with his limit. Any suggestions?
My only concern is the applicability of bringing so much into battle. I doubt in the heat of combat that he would have enough time to pull out his tools and draw something up. How do you plan to work around this?
He would have the drawings already ready, my friend.
I need help with an enemy. Any suggestions?
He would have the drawings ready for the bad guys ambushing him?
Also, writing in complete caps is like shouting and is generally considered very rude on most (ie all) internet forums. I realise you perhaps didn’t know that (I didn’t when I first started webbing). [EDITOR: Jaronblaze had previously written a comment in all caps and I agree that it's throughly annoying].
I think your planning will make your story seem overidealistic. How does he know that his drawing will even apply to the situation. I think your character is on the fast track to becoming a Mary Sue. I suppose if his drawing aren’t specifically made for each situation it can be slightly more acceptable.
I know what I want from you that would greatly help me help you! Do you think you could write a short scene with Shade taking on a few attackers? It doesn’t have to be an event explicitly from your story just a scene so that I can see how you plan to write this character into combat.
I’m also noticing another thing, Jaronblaze. Your writing, at least on this site, is distinctly sloppy. Constant use of all caps, blatant disregard for grammar, spelling, and the necessary capitalization, and that annnnoooooying strecthing of words. This isn’t Myspace! If this is how you write I strongly suggest you work on your writing ability if you plan to actually get published. The same goes if you plan to continue using this site. It’s starting to become very grating to not only me but other people on the site.
I am writing a superhero novel, I have some fantastic ideas for unique powers, but my main character’s power isn’t so unique, I think that is better , I can make more interesting drama like that , if I gave him so unique power I won’t be able to write a good drama, don’t you agree with me
I think drama arises more from the interactions of the characters than from whatever powers they wield. Even programmes like the Hills or Eastenders can be dramatic.
DUN dun dun dun dundundun…
Err, sorry.
MOODY: I agree with Scribblar. I’m not sure how you would get drama out of the character having a generic superpower. I can think of a few ways a generic superpower could introduce drama (if your other main characters have very cool and/or unique powers):
1) The character is unhappy with the power because he wants something more impressive. (“I Just Want To Be Special” turned up to eleven.) This seems like it would make the character less sympathetic, so I’d be very careful with this. It doesn’t seem reasonable for somebody over the age of, say, 18.
2) This generic power is actually worse than the other characters in the book, but he’s still expected to perform to the same level. This might make the character seem more impressive, but stress is probably not a very good way to introduce drama. (It’s usually less sympathetic in fiction than it is in real life.) Alternatively, there may be a situation where the character’s power is useless, or the drawbacks make it difficult or dangerous to use.
Scribblar hit the nail right on the head. The power isn’t nearly as important the story, this interactions, and style. It won’t matter what type of power the character has if they are poorly written (not saying that you are a poor writer).
What types of unique powers are we talking about here?
Yeah, I suppose it might be dramatic if the character’s power is weaker than everybody else’s. Part of the fun of teams like Justice League is seeing how Batman contributes in a combat despite just being well-trained. (Well, REALLY well-trained, but yeah).
I’m not sure why it would matter if the character’s power(s) is less flashy than everybody else’s, though. Maybe the character has no fans and gets no media coverage because his fights are too boring and/or disgusting and/or goofy to watch. (Louie the Slime King gets no respect). As Holliequ mentioned, this might make the character feel superficial or juvenile because getting fans would only be an urgent goal for somebody who’s juvenile, interested in getting published, or both.
You didn’t understand me, my main character’s power is interesting, but what I mean is that it doesn’t have to be ” the most unique of all “, I think the power doesn’t matter what is really important is how you use it in an interesting way.
For example , my main character has the ability to manipulate wood (and other abilities, but I will explain later ) at thhe same time I have a character which can change the state of matter and control atoms, another who manipulate crystal, and other unique abilities ( I don’t have much time to explain) but what is important is how you develop and use it .
Don’t you agree
My main character’s power is good (SO GOOD) but it isn’t the most unique , that is what I meant
I will post my ideas soon , I hope you would give me advices
“I will post my ideas soon, and I hope you will give me advice.” That sounds good. Right now, I’m not really sure what you’d like help with so far. I don’t feel like I know much about the plot or the characters yet.
I want some help please….
The main character’s mother has superpowers ( you mustn’t be surprised beacause his powers is connected to the DNA and genes ) and it must be a superhero because a big part of the story is depending on this, the problem is how to introduce this to readers, how would the main character know that . Please givee me suggestions.
Things that would help you :
…the main character is still 13 so he still lives with his mother
…He have a magical sign that glow when someone with s.p touches it but she can hide her powers
…I don’t want the mother to be the “trainer”
I HAVE AN IDEA:
the mother’s role is the introduction to the villian she would disappear after trying to stop the villian and being deafeated , would she leave a letter in which she would tell her child about their power and why she hid it
..Would that be good..
If you need more explanation about the plot and the characters please wait until I post the story
B. Mac, I’ve gotta ask you something. Realistically, is there even a remote chance that an agent or publisher would look at any new superhero story since there’s so much out there?
I know I’m sounding negative but it’s just I’m worried, you know what I mean?
I know it’s still a long shot but does the fact that it’s a superhero put me or anybody else at a disadvantage
Again, not trying to discourage but for me personally I’d like that there’s some chance.
I’d like to know, sorry bout that
B. Mac, I’m interested in hearing your response to Brett’s question as well.
Well, I’m not B. Mac, but I hope my input has some credibility.
Uh yeah, I’m pretty sure publishers are still interested in superhero stories. Most obviously if that publisher focuses on superhero stories. But even so, I don’t even feel that one is at a disadvantage for wanting to make a superhero story. What counts is the writing, talent, and originality. How many fantasy stories with elves and magic are there? Or sci-fi stories with a psycho alien parasite that takes over human bodies? Tons of them. And they continue to make them even if the genre has been there and done that. Why? Different writers can bring new and interesting things to the table to keep it interesting.
I suspect that if your idea is relatively fresh, your style is unique, and writing capability is publishable that you can get an agent or publisher interested in your work. I don’t see any reason in particular reason they would turn you down. I doubt they’d say “Oh, a superhero story!” and toss it in the trash. Unless the market for superhero stories is destined failure or a well-known minefield, I think you have a shot at getting published. What you should focus on now is improving your writing ability. Getting published is a step that comes much, much later (About a year if you’re just starting the first draft of the manuscript).
Hope this helps!
Ragged Boy said: “Well, I’m not B. Mac, but I hope my input has some credibility. ”
Well, I am B. Mac, but credibility is really not my thing. If you want credibility, I’d recommend talking to someone who isn’t named after a burger.
“B. Mac, I’ve gotta ask you something. Realistically is there even a remote chance that an agent or publisher would look at any new superhero story since there’s so much out there?” Absolutely! Publishers will put out whatever they think is most likely to sell, and there is a well-established audience for superhero stories. As long as superhero stories continue to sell, companies will continue to publish them.
But how can you get YOUR superhero story to stand out? Differentiate Your Writing Or Else. If your story feels like a thin knockoff of a popular franchise, it’s probably dead on arrival. The publisher has to feel that your book will add something to what is currently available. For example, there have been many superhero comedies, but I bet that my office comedy about a taxman-turned-sidekick will feel fresh.
So here are a few questions that may help you distinguish your work.
–How is your hero different from other heroes on the market? What sort of interesting traits does he have?
–How is your writing style different from other authors handling similar material? For example, Avatar and District 9 are both sci-fi movies about (SPOILER) a human turning into an alien (/SPOILER) but they handle the experience in a totally different way. In D9, the protagonist’s change causes him to lose something: his wife, his job, his freedom, his innocence, etc. In Avatar, the protagonist gains something: a wife, full use of his legs, social acceptance, the disgust of any Marines in the audience, etc. The plot is similar (a guy turns into an alien and has to deal with the obstacles that follow), but it all depends on which details you use to tell which story.
–What do you bring to the table that other authors don’t? For example, when you’re submitting to publishers, it’ll help if you’ve amassed an audience through your day job or your blog. Excellent grammar and spelling (or money to pay for proofreaders) are pretty much required. What sort of unusual and interesting experiences do you have? Do you have any technical skills that will help you write and market the book? (For example, web coding… professional-grade artistic skills… salesmanship… networking skills, etc).
Finally, the last thing I’ll say is that you can’t let yourself get discouraged. Getting published is like pounding your head on a prison wall until you can get loose. There is no way to know how close you are to freedom. Just take it on faith that you’ll get better and better as long as you work at your writing. It will probably take years to get published; I’ve been a paid writer for three years and am still probably several months away from getting published.
Thanks B.mac sorry for the downer. I think ‘m comfortable enough to share my premise with everyone now.
Being that I have a disability. I figured I am in the perfect position to create a disabled superhero and write it from a true and honest perspective. Writers can do all the research they want, but they’ll never get something like that exactly right unless they’ve been. Please don’t think that I’m going to be catering to only people with disabilities because I most certainly am not. he’s just a run of the mill teen who happens to have a disability. There are two different sets of powers of planning i can’t decide on which one. the first is superstrength,flight, and the ability to sense other people with powers near by. In this version, he senses one of the villians henchmen and ends up falling down so he doesn’t have very good balance the ability to sense others’ powers makes him dizzy. so the main ‘baddie’ and the henchmen kidnap him and he gets rescued by another group of heroes although only three of them have powers, and the rest of them are just regular people helping them. The heroes train him and Brett fights the main baddie at the end of the story. now hears the fun part. the main baddie goes to school with Brett and he happens to be disabled as well. the book alternates between their two perspectives. obviously, a lot more goes on that i haven’t talked about what do you think?
aw man i didn’t see you mention avatar but there are literally HUNDREDS of disabled characters in scifi. cameron shyed away from the disability because his mind was transfered into the avatar and he could as u said. im not gonna lie, i’ve been working on this story for almost seven years and i found out about Avatar in september 2008. but the more i researched the more i realized the only things i had in common with the story was that both characters are disabled and the disabilities are totally different. we’re going see my character perservere in spite of disability. its the constant elephant in the room
Thanks rag boy yeah my first drafts we’re toilet paper worthy!
Hmm. I think a story about disabled characters could work. If Hero (a novel about a gay superhero) could become a bestseller based on what I imagine to be a fairly niche audience, a publisher could probably pick up a disabled superhero if he’s really well-written.
Professor X and Oracle/Barbara Gordon (UPDATE: and the protagonist of Avatar) use wheelchairs, so I think readers will feel pretty comfortable with a physical disability. Now, I notice you didn’t specify whether it was a physical disability, but a mental disability could also work (although it’d probably be trickier). I’m not familiar with such superheroes, but Flowers for Algernon and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time sold quite a lot of copies despite using a mentally retarded protagonist and an autistic protagonist, respectively.
So… let’s talk about your character.
–What sort of traits does he have going on besides the disability?
–Does he have any flaws NOT related to the disability? (One potential problem with using disabled characters that the author may use a disability to make a character unaccountable for his flaws– I’d recommend giving him at least one flaw that is definitely his fault rather than beyond his control).
–How does his disability affect his work as a superhero?
–An agent or editor would probably want to know something about whether the character can connect with your readers. Who’s your target audience and why will they want to read about him?
–I notice that it sounds like the character is named Brett, which is also the pen-name you’re using here. Will you be able to maintain adequate authorial distance between you and your character?
–Is he dealing with a disability similar to yours? If so, that’s something that might raise huge red flags for a literary professional about whether the character is a Mary Sue stand-in for the author.
…
I really like the twist that the villain is also disabled. I was sort of worried that he’d be a 2-D guy that hated on disabled people, maybe Nazi-style. It’s far more interesting that he himself is disabled.
I also had a quick question about Brett’s Brett. Do his abilities make up for or cure his disability? For instance, Daredevil is blind but his radar makes up for it in combat situations, and most civilian situations as well, the protagonist of Avatar cures his disability by becoming a African-American Smurf.
You mention the ability to fly, which implies that he suffers from a physical disability, it seems highly coincidental that a person most without a convenient mode of transportation would gain it, and seems very much like wish fulfillment, echoing B. Mac’s concerns about Mary Sue-ness.
The protagonist of Avatar does not become African-American! Just a Smurf.
Also, I sort of inferred that it was a mental condition because 1) the character might be superstrong and I have absolutely no idea how a physically handicapped character would use superstrength and 2) I got the impression that the condition in question is a touchy one.
I can’t think of too many physical conditions I’d be reluctant to talk about. For example, If I used a wheelchair full-time, I’d have no problem saying that. It wouldn’t make prospective business partners (like agents and editors) nervous.
In contrast, being open about a mental condition may raise serious doubts about your workmanship. For example, does a depressed writer have the ability to meet tough deadlines without going to pieces? I wouldn’t want to invite such questions from editors unless I absolutely, absolutely had to.
I’ve personally not seen Avatar, I was just making a joke based off the “controversy” about the ethnicity of the alien race.
I didn’t mean to imply I didn’t agree with your inferences, I just didn’t want to structure my reply around them in case it is not what Brett had in mind, I agree fully with what you derived from what was put forward, I just didn’t want to miss a chance to ask a relevant question in such an event as he is physically disabled in the time between Brett’s responses.
Ah! That’s good thinking.
I think we need to know what the disability the character has is. For instance, physical disabilities that wouldn’t impact on flying and super strength could include deafness, blindness, or upper limb problems. It would be interesting to see how a character without arms utilised super strength, for example.
Whoa, I had just had a weirdly cool idea ( not poaching, it was for a werewolf in a wheelchair).
Wow! I had no idea this would generate such discussion. To answer your Mary Sue question, B. Mac, until I read your article a few months back, he was dangerously close to a Mary Sue. But I’ve really changed a lot of things since. The love interest and the mentor who I left out of the post before are really the only ones who REALLY like him. Everybody else is either weary of him or just plain mad with the antagonist who is disabled. It’s a little more than that he’s just mad.
He does have the same physical disability as me, cerebral palsy. But as the story progresses, he starts to wish that disabilities were all he had to worry about. No, it’s not touchy at all– I’m very open about it. Being that this is an origin story it’s not going to utilize the superstrength part of it a lot in the beginning. You see it briefly so the readers know it can’t exactly control it yet but as the story goes on he uses it more and more.
To answer Lighting Boy’s question… no, he’s not cured by his powers. His disability enhances his powers to an extent. I’d rather not explain that yet because I don’t want to ruin the story.
Scribblar, it is a cool idea until I stumbled on all those disabled scifi articles I would have gotten nervous, not now though, haha. I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me but Ii say go for it. [EDITOR: I had trouble with this paragraph].
I’d describe him like Darren shan’s darren shan in the vampire’s assistant. i just added the extra autobiographical bit to make it more compelling
Its funny u mention perrry moore’s hero b.mac because that’s what really pushed me to continue
Even though he has a lot in common with me i don’t make it easy for him. let’s just say that he’s VERY VERY lucky the other heroes came and not the police…
Hello again, Brett. With two exceptions, my set of questions are the same as before.
–What sort of traits does he have going on besides the disability?
–Does he have any flaws NOT related to the disability? (One potential problem with using disabled characters that the author may use a disability to make a character unaccountable for his flaws–I’d recommend giving him at least one flaw that is definitely his fault rather than beyond his control).
–New question: What are some things you don’t like about this character?
–New question: What are some mistakes this character makes that you wouldn’t in his situation?
–How does his disability affect his work as a superhero?
–An agent or editor would probably want to know something about whether the character can connect with your readers. Who’s your target audience and why will they want to read about him?
…
I feel that the authorial distance issues are pretty major. The character having the same disability as you, using the character’s name as your pen-name… The problem with this is that authors often have a LOT of trouble seeing their avatar as the readers will see him. Incidentally, I felt that I had serious issues with authorial distance for Gary, who looks 98% like me and has a somewhat similar personality and background. I tried to solve that issue by making him more of a Jon Arbuckle. He’s entirely out of his depth, applying for a secret agent job he is absolutely unqualified for… Perhaps not entirely unlike an unpublished author trying to sell a book about how to get published.
he gets dizzy when he senses others’ powers. i’m surprised at myself for not putting that in there before. He cant run as fast but when he hits the enemy they still go down. ignoring the obvious would something that I wouldn’t do which he does when he figures out who the antagonist is. my target audience would the same as the iron man movie
I don’t want to talk too much about audience analysis because it’s mainly important when you’re ready to submit. Until then, I’d like to suggest that Ironman probably won’t have a very similar audience to yours. Your hero is a teen (probably resulting in a younger audience) with CP– God knows how that will affect the audience, but my guess is that your readers will be more literary (rather than purely entertainment-oriented).
The bit of audience analysis that DOES matter now is why readers without CP would rather go for this character rather than a character that doesn’t have CP. I think that’s a really critical question to pulling off this choice of main character. To answer that, I’d recommend reading (or rereading) the three books mentioned before (Flowers for Algernon, The Curious Matter and Hero) because they had noticeable crossover appeal. It wasn’t just gays reading Hero and it definitely wasn’t just the mentally handicapped reading FFA.
Aside from that, I feel a general sense of uneasiness here. I feel like this novel concept is pretty deep into a number of minefields (for example, the main character shares your disability and pen-name). I think it would take a LOT of introspection and self-awareness to pull off this sort of self-insert without it turning into a thin wish-fulfillment fantasy. I don’t know. It’s not the sort of thing I’d recommend for a first-timer.
But, who knows, it might work if your execution is solid. Would you like to post some chapters? That’d probably be more productive than rehashing the concept.
Based on what you said, B. Mac, I believe that you think reading the book itself would probably be your best bet. Physically and minus powers he IS different from me despite the fact he has my same disability.
I’ll post a few chapters but I’m gonna do a touch up first in terms of editing.
…
You could consider it a clean version of Superbad with superheroes.
Brett, I have a question. Your writing needs a lot of editing. If this is because of your disability, I apologize for any insensitivity. However, how do you plan to solve this problem before you get published? Improve your own ability? Have proofreaders?
“Based on what you said, B. Mac, I believe that you think reading the book itself would probably be your best bet.” Indeed! If you’d like to post some chapters, I can set you up with a review forum. Alternately, if you’d like to handle this more privately, you can e-mail them to me at superheronation-at-gmail-dot-com .
Ragged boy, you misunderstand. when I’m doing a paper or whatever, I always make it look good and things like that. when I type on places like this, i tend to write as i would write an im. I know I shouldn’t do that, but I like to just try and get my point across. I guess sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. I used to be very carefull when I wrote but people don’t really want to wait most of the time. I do type with one hand pretty much, which is why it takes a while to proofread, but I can definately do so. Oh, and don’t worry about being sensitive and the like, I’m totally cool about everything. Thanks for correcting for me.
Hey b.mac, it’s a scriptment. Is that ok? I have like one chapter actually written, but I have the whole thing in scriptment form.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that I’m attempting to take a page from james patterson and write short chapters.
Hmm. I’d prefer to help with the chapter actually written rather than the scriptment. It gives me a lot more to work with.
so listen b. mac I ran into a snag, turns out the chapter is from another version of the story i’ve been telling you about. I guess I forgot because I hadn’t looked at the document for a while cuz ive been working on the scriptment until school started. The crapy tagline is ‘heroes in space’ and the chapter is even worse. what do I do?
from what i can tell, it would deal with 3 or four supers centered around a cast of regular people. i use that term loosely because it’s in outer space. The only thing i know for sure is that the disabled protagonist and antagonist are still there. Sorry about this, I had about twelve different documents for this thing and I guess I wrote the wrong chapter one.
Your call. If you think it’d be helpful for me to review this version of the story, bring it on! If you’d rather rewrite the chapter to be more recent, that’d be fine, too. However, if you think that your writing has developed quite a bit since you’ve written it, I suspect that you’d probably get more out of a review of a more recent version.
Hey guys. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on the site, since being admitted to one of the greatest art, media and communications colleges in the world, Columbia College Chicago (I’m going to be starting this coming May). I do have a concept for a particular character. He was given his powers from a scientist using stem cells from a mutant that had recently died. He possesses Hulk-level strength.
Congratulations on Columbia. I know a few people that go there.
I am helping one of my friends with his story, and he has asked me to supply him with a character. I named the Character Theireq, he has a laid back personality, he values friendship a lot, he would always try to do what is right instead of whats popular though. I need help with a power though. I was thinking on giving him a charisma or some sort of power that has to do with water. If anyone has ideas please let me know. Oh and his story is fantasy, and there is really no specific time period.
So, would you like us to suggest powers?
I think water control would work. It lends itself well to interesting fight scenes and is versatile and easy to understand.
I’m not so sure about charisma. I think that having the power to persuade people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do would be significantly less interesting than reading about a character who persuades people without superpowers. Not having the power will force you to work harder to make him show how good his skills are, rather than just using a superpower.
I’d recommend rounding out his personality more with a flaw. Right now, he sounds like a mostly generically nice guy. I’d recommend playing up these personality traits so much that they might conceivably get him into trouble– maybe he’s so laid-back that he treats people far more casually or nonchalantly than he should. Maybe he doesn’t care about what’s happening as much as he should. Maybe he values friendship too much and sometimes makes unreasonable (or unethical) requests of his friends. Maybe he gets into trouble because doing what he thinks is right is a hell of a lot harder (and/or dumber) than going with the flow would have been.
Well I was thinking about the villian he will be pinned against in the story, and the Villain has the power to use someones power against them. So i was thinking that a charisma power would help him along some lines.
There is also multiple enemies and many heroes in this story so far. So a charisma power wouldnt be making it to less intresting.
I was also working on his background ealier, and if i give him a power like water, it will be more of a ice power.
B. Mac,
Does Superhero Nation really have a spell/grammar check? If so, how would one go about using it?
As you type your comment, it should underline a word that is spelled wrong. Here’s a screenshot of how that looks on my computer.
I think it only works for registered users, though. If you haven’t registered, you can register for free here.
We don’t have a grammar-check, though. Probably just as well… Grammar-checks are NOTORIOUSLY unreliable. If you are interested in becoming a professional writer, that’s something you either have to do yourself or pay somebody to do for you.
Hey, I’m just curious about this- how well does shapeshifting work out for a character? You don’t see a lot of it, (well, I don’t) and I’m just wondering what the pitfalls might be and what the advantages might be. I don’t read much superhero fiction, but off the top of my head, the only characters I can think of that are capable of transformation are Mystique and Beastboy.
Myriad (Dynamo Five) and the Martian Manhunter come to mind as well.
I think shapeshifting is a bit better suited for a support character. The character would have a lot of options for sneaking and infiltration, but probably wouldn’t be too interesting in combat. Even if the character can turn into animals, there are only so many ways to show a dinosaur/tiger/wallaby slamming someone. If your series is mature enough to use blood, you may be able to add variety with maulings–if your series isn’t that mature, you could have him show off the claws/teeth on insentient enemies.
Also, one useful aspect is that the shapeshifter would have a lot of opportunities to run off on his own. If the combat scenes ever got too unwieldy because too many characters were involved, it’d be easy to give him something else to do elsewhere. For example, while everybody else is fighting, maybe he’s looking for an important plot item.
…
If the shapeshifter is a lone character, I’d recommend giving him another power to make the fights more interesting. (Sort of like the Martian Manhunter, although he’s better-known for his work on the Justice League than his own comic).
I don’t think it lends itself particularly well to interesting fight scenes.
…
I think that the ability to transform into other humans requires that the author have a strong grasp on character voicing. If you have many characters that sound very different, it’ll be fun to read the shapeshifter try to emulate their manners of speech. If the characters don’t have distinct voices, having a shapeshifter will draw attention to the fact that all of them sound alike.
hey b.mac. Just wanted to give you an update on my work. It may be pathetic to say but the Percy Jackson movie inspired me a bit. Now I’ve come up with two solid concepts-
The outer space one I told you about, it’d be superheroes protecting the galaxy at the behest of an interplanetary government from other superpowered beings. Something like “Dune with superheroes” My other concept is a little more down-to-earth: guy gets kidnapped, taken to a city, trained by the leader, fights the baddie. I’ll be sending the chapter one to the e-mail address next weekend if that’s still ok. Sorry it’s taking me so long, this semester is BRUTAL, lol
Okay, I’m looking forward to it. When you do send the chapter, please feel free to leave a comment here reminding me to look at it and I’ll get on it right away.
Good luck with your semester. I’m anticipating a fairly difficult semester of my own from August-December. It’s my final term at Notre Dame and I will be telecommuting as an assistant editor.
Thanks B. mac, and congrats on the editor gig!
Thanks.
Hey B.mac I finished the chapters, but I couldn’t help but notice some people on here talk about things other than superhero books. I saw a post that said how someone wants to write an ambitious epic fantasy. With that being said, I’d like to know you’d be willing to take a look at a space opera book I’ve been writing that uses the same characters. It is MUCH more developed as a story and I have a very detailed mythology in my head. As of right now I have atotal of thirty pages written not including the prologue. It’s a total of six chapters. ANY question you ask I should be able to answer. I’d be able to email it to you upon request.
Let me know.
Also, I’m sorry if I’m coming off a little rude, I certainly do not mean to.I just didn’t realize that there wer non-superhero related posts on the site and I’m REALLY passionate about this! I really hope everybody else asks questions like they did last time because I’d LOVE to hear everyone’s take.
Yeah, we do a lot of work with non-superhero novels here. However, I don’t have much (any) professional experience with space operas. If that’s okay with you, please feel free to e-mail me.
However, if you’re looking for opinions from people besides me, it’d probably be a better idea to post a chapter here, on a review forum if you have one and anywhere else if you don’t. (I’ll just make you a forum and move it there).
Thanks man, I’ll email it to you. Just a couple of things I want to bring to your attention:
1. There’s a slightly unclear transition, but it might ok FOR NOW being its a first draft
2. There’s a chapter in there that may be too disability focused so I’d really like your opinion on that.
3. Chapter One starts with him waking up because it picks up directing where the prologue left off but I don’t have the prologue with me.
b.mac did you get a chance to read it yet?
Hello, Brett. I’ve e-mailed you my response.
im trying to write a comic book at the ae of 14 and i need to come up with a superpower thats Orignal and i cant think of anything
I don’t think that the originality of the powers matters much. In almost every case, there will be previously published heroes/villains that share your character’s powers. That’s usually not a problem for publishers, as long as you put some thought into the character’s voice, personality, style, goals, problems, obstacles, etc.
I’d recommend focusing less on whether your powers are unique than on whether they give you the ability to tell an interesting story.
For example, right now I’m working on a nightsight-themed criminal. I that it will give me opportunities to mix things up for the heroes by cutting the power supply to the building.
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Good luck getting published! If I could make a suggestion that would have helped me at 14, I think that it would have helped me to work on proofreading skills and practice writing as much as possible.
Hey B.mac did you get my next email?
I want to give my superhero the ability to mentally controll gravity, but I do not know what all he would be able to do with that ability. Can you give me any ideas on how to showcase his powers?
To Monty:
Gravity can be used as following:
1-It can move/fly objects
2-bind other people
3-make protection fields
By emitting gravity from body you can:
1-get people nearer or farer
2-use it in offense
3-expose objects/people to pressure
One stolen laptop later…
I’m back!
Further expanding upon Moody’s input:
- Creating two or more fields of opposite moving gravity would be capable of snapping people and objects in two.
- Levitation by creating an upward flow of gravity.
- Depending on how strong they can make the gravity they could create concussive blasts that could push a hole in a person or just push it.
There’s probably many more things you could think of. Just use your imagination.
One of the minor antagonists on Static Shock used gravity control, or something like it, to try crushing people.
In practice, I think that gravity control will probably be very similar to telekinesis. (The only difference I can think of is that many telekinetics cannot or do not use their powers to fly or levitate). I suppose one difference between TK and gravity control might be that gravity control is less useful at manipulating small objects in precise ways? A telekinetic or magnetic guy might be able to fight someone off with psychically controlled weaponry, but my guess is that the ability to control gravity wouldn’t give that sort of precision. (Or maybe it does. Your story is yours, obviously).
PS: I’m sorry to hear about the laptop, RB.
Luckily, my complex covers burglaries dues to having single-lock doors and a neighborhood with a “heightened” crime rate. I was able to get a new one in the old one’s exact image. Score!
Hey guys! Very, very quick question, superstrength and teleportation with the latter being a mode of transportation more or less in the beginning but could be used as a catalyst for future stories down the line. What do you think?
When you say a “catalyst for future stories down the line,” what do you mean? Could you give some examples?
Brett, are you talking about one character or two, because I think that those two powers would make the origin story for a single character rather difficult. However, you could use teleportation as a method of travel without to much trouble if the teleportation was a technological power. Kind of like superman and the boom tubes in the dc universe. Of course, you could always just make two characters and give each one a power. I think that having two characters would make the story more interesting.
ghost, I’m talking two powers for one hero but one is relegated to more of a transportation method.
As for the catalyst, I’m just spitballing here, but as he is teleporting, some villian shoots something at him so he splits in two. yin and yang. Maybe he gets lost in time in the process of teleportation. Also I should mention that he can only teleport HIMSELF from place to place. For example, lets say he teleports into a burning building. He can’t just grab someone and teleport them out he’d have to rely on his superstrength to remove obstacles and get him and the other person out of there
Brett,
Ok, I get what you are trying to do now. However, the only thing I am concerned with now is the origin of his two powers. The only reason I bring this up is that they are such drastically different powers that you might have trouble getting your reader to “believe” in them. I mean, yeah, superman can get away with a ridiculous power set, but he is superman and he has been around a while so people just naturally accept his powers. For your character though, they might not be so forgiving.
I think that the restriction that his power can only work on himself will help you challenge the character. Also, if the character is on a team, it’ll also help you split them into smaller units, which will make action choreography more manageable.
…
I agree with Ghost that it might be an issue that superstrength and teleportation don’t really seem to mesh very well. A bit of in-story explanation may help. For example, perhaps his body hardened itself to survive the stress of traveling thousands of miles in an instant.
Well… it’s not really a team, it’s more of a collabation between two characters and what protagonist learns along the way not only through teamwork but also working solo. I was thinking that it could be a potent mix of chemicals that gives him that power combo but I’m not sure yet. I would absolutely explain the origins through the context of the story, but I’m not 100 percent sure how to handle it yet.
Brett,
Yeah that one really sounds like a tough combo. I think you are going to have your work cut out for you. Good luck.
I’ve been having trouble creating new characters whenever I make another story. Could you guys offer some constuctive criticism? I was given a few names from my cousin, Mysticgust because he discarded them:
Joshua: Has the ability to become animal-like when in danger or in a fight. When he goes “animal” he is only operating on instincts and is completly ruthless. His senses become elavated to animal levels.
Wayne : Ability to draw people to him emotionally and physically and want to protect and help him. Only works on a few people at a time.
Brooke: Ability to shut off powers that affect peoples minds. It tires her out very qiuckly so that she is constantly sleepy and her power shuts off after several minutes. She usually uses her gift in bursts.
Zack: ability to sense powers and weaknesses in others. Can cause people to not notice him for breif periods of time. ( He must move slowly while being ” unnoticed”)
I was thinking he unknowingly touch someone with the ability to teleport and that person may also have the ability to transfer his powers to someone else but he can’t control when that happens. maybe the villan would kill the guy thus making the transfer permanent. For superstrength, maybe he was exposed to radiation in the hospital as a baby. Could I explain those gradually and not tell the reader from the outset? That way the hero learns the origins of his powers as the reader does
Brett,
Um I think that could work, but I still think that a technologically based teleportation power would work better. Kinda like Cable has in the marvel universe. You could have it break or glitch, or even inaccurate. I recommend raading the new Cable comics after the Messiah complex to get a better idea of what I am talking about.
Auxilary,
First off, I think that Wanye’s powes is to passive. It doesn’t really “do” anything. Remember you want your heroes to be doing the actions in the story, so that means you want their powers to doing things also. Wanye’s power could be problematic, because he won’t be the one doing anything. Other people will be doing it for him. I suggest you give him mind control or something along those lines.
I would also recommend giving Brooke Zack’s first power. It makes sense to me that if Brooke can turn other people’s powers off that she would be able to sense their weaknesses as well.
For Zack, I think that his “unnoticability”(is that even a word and if so did I spell it correctly) could work well. From your description, I imagine his powers as something like being mentally invisible to people as oppose to him actually turn invisible. Almost like him using a hypnotic suggestion to make people not notice him.
I like Joshua’s power, but your description is a little unclear to me. Does Joshua change at will like a Lycan from underworld? Or is he like to hulk and he can only change when he is angry. I think that his powers could work either way.
By the way, what are your character’s origin stories?
I always thought a cute power for a bookworm would have some sort of paper-kinesis… I’ve seen it a lot in anime where characters could control paper and wood and ended up telekinetically creating an origami army or something. It’s really cool. <3
Also, the librarian protagonist of Read or Die! has paper-kinesis. It’s surprisingly versatile. I haven’t seen any origami armies yet, but she has escaped a crashing helicopter by making a hang-glider out of paper, which was a surprisingly intense action sequence for a cartoon.
Thanks I needed super power names for my story! Thanks alot!
Oddly enough, there was originally an end scene in HTSTW (This was the time before the sequels) designed to foreshadow the existence of superhumans other than the Specials, that mentioned a little girl making origami birds fly around her.
I might bring her back in the maybe-sequel to Darkstar Rising or the Third Book, just because of the sheer awesome of an origami army.
- Wings
Yeah… I have a bookworm character and I’m tempted to give him that power, though that’s probably anvilicious…
Maybe give it to his brother? HE doesn’t read at all. XD
Hello, Auxilary
Here’s my input on you team.
- First off, if this is a team I don’t think your powers are configured well enough. I believe there too much focus on support powers. As off now you only have two characters that could feasibly do combat. Also, Wayne’s powers are situational so that makes one all-time combatant, a part-time combatant, and two support members. I’d recommend reconfiguring their powers to make them a stronger team. A personal rule of mine is that each character should be capable of at least one type of combat.
- Joshua’s powers are a bit vague. There are over 1 million animal species in the world and I’m hoping he’s not like each one. I’d recommend narrowing it down to one type of animal. Big cats, monkeys, reptiles, etc. I think cats are a bit generic, but a monkey warrior would be pretty sick if pulled off well.
- I’d recommend going all the way with Wayne’s powers and give him empathy. Empathy encompassed what you said and makes his powers a little more whole. Also, to make him a bit more active I’d recommend givig him psychically produced weaponry. I think the combination would make him solid in and out of battle.
- Brooke’s powers are a bit negative-heavy. They don’t apply to everyone, can only be used in bursts, and make her tired easily. I don’t know your setting so I’m not sure if her powers are effective or not. I want to recommend giving her a new power altogether. In my opinion, she seems a bit like an easy target with no offensive ability and a defensive powers that only works a percentage of the time.
- I’d summarize Zack’s powers as detection. He can detect others powers and weaknesses and become indetectable. All in all, I thik his powers work out. You may mant to tweak him a little for combat effectiveness.
- As a side note, I also recommend cleaning up your writing mechanics. I noticed a few grammar mistakes when editing your comment.
What do you think? Hope this helps.
This is very helpful , i have a few changes on the characters.
I was thinking Brookes power might have been too powerful when i was creating her so i limited her severly. So after your comments I think I might alter her powers some. She could shut off all powers that invole anyones mind ( like telekenesis, but not superstrength) And making her be able to draw peoples energy slightly in combat to power her sheild. ( sleepy while not fighting). Okay in hand to hand combatants. I might limit her to knocking out everyones powers instead of only select people, but I might not.
I think Zach’s ( zach not zack, misspelling above) power is okay. I’m not sure how to tweak his powers offensivly ( please help)
Waynes power is basically having a few people, maybe one or two, become drawn emotionally to him for a short period of time. when they are drawn to him they want to protect him. Like wanting to help him to fight off someone/something. Ex. two gaurds helping him break into a jail ,while taking out other gaurds during it. (wayne wouldn’t be breaking into a jail anyway, but i pulled it off the top of my head) When the people come too (depending who they are) they could suddenly turn on him. The time it takes them to break free depends on their will strength. Okay at self defebse, well, good enough to protect himself until he either gains control of them or takes them out ( knock them uncounsious).
After a while of thinking I thought that Joshua’s power would mainly be in the mind. He could have enhanced strength/ speed/ durability, but the main shift is in the mind. See, animals fight tooth and nail , completly ruthless tearing at throats and doing any thing to gain the upper hand. So maybe he could just, basically, become extreamly savage. Couple that with his other powers you would have a crazy strong, crazy fast, and crazy durable nearly sixfoot teenager, that wants nothing more than too tear your throat out. I was also thinking about adding a natural ability that would allow him to go on a “white run”, which would allow him to just go on instincts while trying to escape. Example, he could run up a wall for a few steps, then jump out in a flip typr thing, grab a bar swing up, stand on it then jump out of a second story window in like, half a second. change is voluntary unless he is attacked, kie an ambush, then its automatic.
i will write their origin stories but i have to get off now. Thanks for any and all comments. I will help others who need assistance as well.
I’m creating a story about 7 heroes that were gathered into a team known as The Clan to defeat humanity’s enemy, The Abomination. The Abomination is a army of demons and cursed mortals. The Clan defeats The Abomination and gains the ability of conflict death. A 2nd Abomination attacks and causes The Clan to start a civil war amongst each other. I should have done this before this point, but The Clan includes:
Hyporion: The man who first gathered The Clan and is a combat specialist and expert tactician.
Korilis: Takes the spot of leader in the clan, controls wind and thunderstorms.
Czin: He can control fire, is also an inventor.
Shadien: He has the ability to converse with spirits and call armies of skeletons and dark minions to his aid.
Hetic: The only female hero of the clan, she has the power to control rocks and minerals.
Seaaz: A hero that controls tide and and the water.
Reik: The youngest hero, has abilities like achilles and is a great compromiser of many issues in the clan. He is also the main character.
The main arc of the story is supposed to be the civil war between the clan. One side consists of Hyporion, Riek, and possibly Shadien (he is still undecided). I would like to add that each of the clan memebers is somewhat based after a greek god or goddess. Hyporion is suppossd to resemble Athena, Korilis resembles Zeus, Czin resembles Aries and Hephastus, Shadien is suppossed to resemble Hades, Hetic resembles Artemis and Apollo, Seaaz is suppossed to resemble Posiedon and Reik really does not have a god he is based after. Give me thoughts on the story.
- The names are a bit…odd. Some of them make sense if I think about it long enough (Korilis to Coriolis to the Coriolis effect as used in meteorology, Shadien to shadow), but others strike me as weird/unpronounceable (Czin and Seaaz foremost).
- I like the Greek mythology-as-basis angle, but the question is how will you make it fresh?
- I still don’t know much about these “Abominations”. What can they do? Is there a reason behind the choice of name? (Odd coincidence really, as I also have a novel idea using the term “abomination” for a sort of villain. I chose this term because the “abominations” in question are mutants hunted down and killed by the government, as their Hunters (Basically bounty hunters) are trained to believe that the mutants are crimes against nature, hence “abominations”.)
- If the Abominations are the enemies of humanity, why would they attack the heroes instead of directly attacking humanity?
- It seems odd that just one attack would cause a civil war. Was the clan unstable inwardly before the attack, or was the instability caused from without?
The idea sounds good, but a little more info would help out a lot. Good luck to you.
- Wings
Hello, Reik.
–I feel like seven main protagonists is a lot. Do you think you’ll have enough space to develop their personalities and powers? If you’re a first-time author, it might be easier to handle 4-5 characters in the main group. (I’d guess that you could make it work if the factions are major antagonists. That would reduce the amount of time you’d have to spend on the abominations).
–I notice that Reik shares your pen-name. I’d recommend working extra-hard to make sure that he isn’t a self-insert/Mary Sue.
Why does the clan fall into civil war?
I feel like some of the names are a bit hard to pronounce. Like Wings noted, Seaaz and Czin could probably be smoothed out a bit. Maybe Cazin. I think Seaaz is supposed to be a variation on the word “seas,” because he’s the water guy, but it feels a bit awkward to me at the moment.
“The clan defeats the abomination and gains the ability of conflict death.” What is the ability of conflict death?
In addition to Wing’s excellent inquiries, I’d like to add:
- What are the members of The Clan personalities like? An inveterate trait of new (or relatively new) writers is not enough focus on the person and more on their powers.
- Is “the power to conflict death” the same as immortality? Be careful with immortal characters, if a character can die and come back whenever or never die it lowers the stakes and makes death mundane.
- I’m not fond of names that reflect a character’s powers, it comes off as a bit cheesy. If you wanted to make the names reflect the powers I’d recommend being a little more creative than Shadien for a dark character or Seaaz for a water one.
I think I’m going to need more information before I can decide to like it or not, not that my opinion is important or anything.
I was thinking of writing a story called ‘Blades & Blood’. It is set around 10,000 BC. This is an era where supernaturalism was at its peak. It is full of bizarre creatures and people you won’t find in society today. The main character is called Blade. He is the lost child of the two most skilled and recognized warriors/assassins in the world. When he was born, they immediately sent him to live in an academy where he would be trained among other skilful masters. He has tattoos all over his body with symbols.
As time grew on, each student was appointed with their own special capability which would be determined by their emotions and desires. Thus Blade gained the ability to manifest the spirit and power of a person into a living physical weapon based of their characteristics and personal traits. He has a best friend called Blood who also has tattoos. His power gained was too dark powers, allowing him to teleport and other things.
The bond between Blade and Blood seems almost unbreakable: they do almost everything together. One day, Blade age 18 receives a letter from his Blood saying he’s left the school because he can’t control his powers. Blade finds out about his parents and sets to find them only to discover and bunch of test and trails to prove him.
Along the way, he receives certain power ups and meets Blood whose power has become too dark for him to control. Blood beats Blade and then finds Blades parents (Clairvoyance was part of his ability as well). He fights them and has his power stripped, leaving him with his standard skills.
Blade finds his way to find to his parents and fights them, only to have his power stripped as well. He and Blood fight together but struggle. It is then revealed that Blade and Blood are destiny brothers. They realize that their tattoos are a forbidden fighting style which they use to beat their parents. After they get their powers, Blood turns demonic again and the too fight.
What do you think?
–I’d like to know more about the personalities and decisions of the major characters. For example, why do Blade’s parents abandon him? When Blade later meets his folks, why do they fight him?
–What’s at stake for Blade? Why does he have to stop Blood?
–How does Blade find out about his parents? Why does he go after them?
–I would recommend changing Blade’s name. Blade is already the name of a half-billion dollar character.
–Could I recommend setting this in a fantasy world rather than our own? I think that’d give you more leeway to use academies and some other things that probably wouldn’t fit in around 10,000 BC on the real world. Hell, I don’t even think blades themselves were available until metalworking (probably the Bronze Age).
I am having a little trouble with mixing espionage elements with superhero elements in my novel that i want to start. Any suggestions
Hello, Dark_Minion. This is probably going to sound counterintuitive, but I would recommend against using stealth-related superpowers like invisibility. I think it’d be significantly more interesting to see the hero try to, say, sneak past a guard than just go invisible and walk past him.
If the hero will be sneaking in and out of heavily fortified facilities, I would recommend against teleportation and phasing. Forcing the character to come up with some alternate escape/entry plan would give you more opportunities to challenge the character, I think.
If intrigue and/or paranoia are a significant part of the plot, I would recommend against mind-reading and lie-detection.
Yo Dark_Minion! If you don’t mind my commenting, psychometry is an interesting ability that would suit the espionage genre well enough.
If you didn’t know psychometry, it is the ability to pick up information by touching an object.This special information generally gives info regarding who and what last touched that particular object in the past. Your character, for example, might be on some sort of recon mission were collecting intel on their surroundings is important. I remember there was a character in Heroes that had psychometric abilities.
Another interesting power to use might be remote viewing. This ability allows the viewer to visualize an area where they are not physically present. This usually comes in the form of visions. Your character could use this power to scope out restricted areas.
In the case you think I’m making these up off the top of my head, I’m gonna post links to the site I found them on (Wikipedia actually).
I think psychometry would be conducive to an interesting espionage story. For one thing, it requires the character to get in close to the object, which can be dangerous and dramatic.
I think remote viewing might make the hero’s life too easy and safe. (People would much rather read about a spy than a spy satellite, right?) On the other hand, it might work a bit more smoothly for villains because it lets authors give the villains important information without getting bogged down in details about how they found it out.
So I sort of have a strange question. Has an unpublished author ever gotten an offer for their book and then for one reason or another, said no?
There’s actually an excellent film named Suspect Zero about while not technically superheroes, a vigilante using remote viewing in order to fight crime. It stars the man that would eventually play Harvey “Two-Face” Dent in the Dark Knight as a detective investigating what he believes to be a serial killer but is in fact a brutal government-created psychic vigilante. If the power interests you, I would suggest viewing it if you get the opportunity.
I agree with B. Mac that psychometry definitely has a greater potential for drama, as it has the benefit of being an active instead of passive power, but it also has the negative requirement of essentially requiring magic. There’s an element of believability to remote viewing because generally whatever they would be viewing would have a person actively viewing it or in the room as it, but psychometry stretches that to requiring that there be psychic tethers on the object, attaching the object to the memory of whoever they would see, or psychic remnants leftover which allow essentially the same thing to occur. In a universe with limited superpowers, it might be a bit too much. Hellboy and Hellboy 2 both featured a character with the ability (Abe Sapien) but they also featured the titular character as a large red demon with hooves and a giant hand, and his girlfriend Liz, an accidental pyrokinetic, not to mention Seth McFarlane as ghost juice stuck in a metal suit and a giant squid-god that wanted to eat Metropolis and had to die by grenades.
I haven’t seen Suspect Zero, but some of the things I’ve read would give me pause about using remote viewing. The original version of the script was a mostly realistic police procedural. The remote viewing superpowers got added by the guy that wrote Volcano.
“But psychic visions? For one thing, it removes any and all tension from the detective work in the film. In Penn’s script, Mack was a good detective, and he managed to piece together enough information to find O’Ryan. He’s a great profiler, and that makes him a worthy adversary for O’Ryan, the best profiler, even while gripped by madness. In this new draft, these mysterious faxes do all the legwork for Mack, rendering him inactive, and whatever blanks are left open are filled in by his psychic visions that begin to come more and more frequently, along with blinding headaches. And those visions… they keep him linked to O’Ryan, who the FBI says never existed. Because, you know… the FBI can just erase one of their own from existence. Happens all the time. All of a sudden, Quantico and a university and someone’s family and friends are all just convinced to not remember that someone exists. The way that Mack begins to track O’Ryan down in this new script is ludicrous, based on luck and magic. They weren’t content to just have one set of preposterous coincidences in the film. Instead, every new beat seems to be built on another coincidence.”
Jonathan Last at Weekly Standard reached a similar conclusion.
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To make remote viewing more interesting, perhaps you could use it as a way to give minor clues to start the search for information. I think it could be dramatic as foreshadowing. However, powers that keep the hero out of harm’s way may undermine the danger to the hero of getting in close.
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Psychometry could be adapted for a more realistic story. If the idea of getting information by magically touching an object is too fantastical, you could give a character skills in forensic examination or crime scene investigation. A forensic examiner checks out a corpse and determines how the person died, when, whether the victim knew the attacker, etc. A criminal investigator would check a scene to determine how it all went down. (For example, a lack of signs of forced entry suggests that the assailant either had keys to the place or was let in). Similarly, a realistic story may be able to substitute satellites, aerial surveillance or binoculars for remote viewing.
I had an idea that these superhumans work with the government to fight evil threats such as terrorists, evil corrupt corporations and other bad superhumans but when the goverment has no further use for them they would kill them. any suggestions.
Hey, Brett.
“Has an unpublished author ever gotten an offer for their book and then for one reason or another, said no?”
Stephenie Meier (Twilight), for example. Meier’s agent rejected a deal for $300,000 and was eventually offered a three-book deal for $750,000.
Jim Munroe published his debut novel through HarperCollins and turned down their offer to publish his second novel. He ended up self-publishing it.
Here are a few reasons that I think an author might pass on an offer…
–The author (or the author’s agent) is very confident that better offers will come. (The agent usually knows more about the market for a work than the author does, so I would recommend deferring to the agent’s assessment). The agent has a strong financial incentive to get you a deal as quickly as possible. If your agent is urging you to decline an offer, he is very confident that a significantly better offer is coming.
–The author is not confident about the book the publisher has in mind. . Maybe a publisher is willing to run with your story, but wants to move it in a direction you’re not comfortable with. For example, if a publisher offered to publish my book about an accountant-turned-superhero but wanted to do a more conventional sci-fi with supersoldiers instead of superheroes, I’d probably pass. I don’t have a strong grasp of military fiction.
–The author and agent are not confident that this publisher can pull off this project. According to one editorial assistant, “it’s better to be unpublished than published in an inferior way.” In most cases, the editors that go for a particular book are enthusiastic about the genre and target audience. It couldn’t hurt to make sure. Has the editor worked with books like this before? Did they sell at least fairly well? Is this publisher/editor experienced with your target audience?
–The author has political/cultural issues with the publisher. Jim Munroe cited Rupert Murdoch (the guy that owns HarperCollins, Fox News and several other media outlets) as one of the reasons he left HarperCollins.
Whats Good SN? So i been trying to come up with a way to do a characters powers with a supernatural feel as opposed to superhuman, if that makes sense. Examples are like bleach, naruto, etc. I watch a lot of anime and it seems to me that the way they do the charaters is different then western superheroes, in that western superheroes have a powerset from the beginning and for the most art thats what they will have in the end. But in anime their abilities seem to evolve and develop as the character grows and develops. Clearly, im not going for the outrageously huge power levels of DBZ, but im trying to find a way to do the characters abilities that allow him to have certain powers but as he develops and evolves so do his abilities. Does that make any sense?? Thanx guys.
Umm, it makes perfect sense. I find it a little funny that you ran it by the site. I don’t intend for Showtime (My superhero) to have mastered his powers as soon as he gets them. The one thing I’m not fond of in anime’s is the ever-increasing power level. Suspose you have some amazingly strong character that your protaganist finally beats after months of training and planning. Then, next month an even stronger enemy shows up to which the process starts over. After a while it gets a little ridiculous and people suspension of belief is stretched to the limit (That’s you DBZ and Bleach).
By all means, allow your character to evolve, but I’d recommend finding some sort of power ceiling.
Yea I think it has a good message though. Like what don’t kill you makes you stronger. Idk…
I’ll post my idea later…and you can let me know if it sucks…
It’s not unheard of for Western-style superheroes to gain powers as the series progresses. For example, Spiderman gets enhanced by the Venom symbiote and there’s also Cosmic Spider-Man. I think Static Shock started out just riding a manhole, but at some point they realized how goofy that was, so they had him fly on electric discs. (You know the writers have boxed themselves in a corner when electric discs are substantially less goofy than what they already have
). However, I think you’re right that anime/manga characters tend to learn more techniques/powers as the series progresses.
I think that learning powers is probably okay, particularly if there’s a quest involved to do so, but please please please do not have the character randomly sprout a new power to get out of a tough situation.
Also, like RB said, there may be an issue with the character getting so far beyond what he’s become known for that it feels goofy. Like Superman going from somebody that’s just really tough to somebody that’s so strong that he can move celestial bodies by pushing them. (Or Cosmic Spiderman, probably–I notice that it doesn’t come up nearly as much in the Spiderman universe as Venom and the symbiote do).
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At one point in my comic, one of the two main characters (the mutant alligator) learns the secret of the Flying Inverted Face-Ripping Double-Chomp from a Harlem pizza boy, but he never actually gets a chance to use it. Later, in the letters section, he’s grousing with his teammates over orange juices at a bar and complains that his life would be so much more interesting if he were in a rated-R comic.
Thanks b.mac! I REALLY needed to read that article. The reason i ask is because I have a writer friend , who just had his kid and he just got a 400,000 dollar offer from little, brown and company. I laughed at him when he told me, then he showed me his letter. he’s not good with photoshop or stuff like that so i’m inclined to believe him. the deal is contigent on him going on a one-year promotional tour, why, i haven’t the slightest clue, but he doesn’t wanna do it because he doesn’t want to be away from his kid. his agent’s pissed right now and his wife wants him to take the money because it’d be good to have something put away for the kid. I know this seems really extreme, but its all 100 percent true. What would u suggest?
Little, Brown and Company is very reputable and it does pretty well saleswise (they did Twilight).
If I were his agent, I’d be pissed too. If the offer is legit, I would highly recommend that he talk more with his agent and wife.
What I suspect the agent will tell your friend is that every six-figure publishing deal comes with an extended promotional tour attached. And it sounds like his wife’s okay with that, so if he can at all stomach the idea of extensive traveling, this is probably the best way to do so. (It’s much cushier than a tour in Iraq/Afghanistan, that’s for sure).
If the travel is really, REALLY a major hang-up for him, maybe maybe maybe his agent could have them negotiate the pay down in exchange for a shorter promotional tour. Maybe 9 months instead of 12.
Good luck to him.
Yeah, he’s really stressing out about it. I told him what you said, so we’ll see if he follows through. Anyway I came up with a really cool concept as of late here’s the synopsis:
Long ago, superheroes served humanity for better or worse. When they disapppeared, the villans went with them. Slowly, but surely, people accepted that they were gone and moved on with their lives.
Twenty years later, Brett Aldmen, a teenager who happens to be disabled discovers he has superpowers. He thinks it’s great, He can show off his superstrength to impress the ladies and teleport to class five minutes before the bell rings, too bad all the girls at school think he’s retarded thanks to his inability to talk to women. Even if he were able to talk to them, or-dare I say, ask oneof them out, he wouldn’t be able to teleport them anywhere because he can only teleport himself.
Little does he know, someone is aware of the returrn of the superhero, someone very close to Brett, someone who is going to help him prepare for the return of the supervillan…
Again, work in progress so let me know
Interesting Brett. But you said he is disabled? Firstly, I don’t really understand “Superstrength”. Shouldn’t it basically supercharge all the cells (muscles actually) in your body? Which means he could walk? Then secondly, if super-strength doesn’t allow him to walk, then how does he teleport his wheelchair around?
Oh he can walk, he just walks a bit differently and falls more often, that’s basically it
I was thinking perhaps the son of one of the heroes of the past has the power to give others powers through his blood. That’s how they come back full force.
i think that is a neat idea, the whole blood/powers thing. I was wondering about the walking thing. So he can’t walk right, got that part, but does he just have to walk slowly or something?
How would you pitch a character as “an American Goku” What powers would they have? Flight, Energy Blasts… that it?
Well, if you were interested in doing a Goku clone, I think he starts teleporting at some point. However, I’d recommend thinking about ways to distinguish him from Goku, because I don’t think that publishers are typically interested in clones of popular characters. Could you put a bigger twist on the character/story than making him an American?
Well, I’m talking powers-wise, B.Man. Thanks though! *Of course he’ll definetely have a different origin, he won’t be a martial artist. Just powers*
Well, if you were going with Goku-esque powers it would probably go something like:
Flight
Superstrength
Superspeed
Teleportation (Instant Transmission)
Power stages: Level 1, level 2, etc
Energy blasts
Then again, just about everyone in the series had the same kind of powers. That’s what I never liked about DBZ. It was never about fighting smart or getting creative, just leveling up and fighting harder. Well, what can you expect when everyone’s a Ki-Blasting Tank with something to prove.
Thanks Rag, I think I’ll base it on energy manip though.
Would a writer stand just as much of a chance at getting a one-shot graphic novel published at image as he/she would a story arc?
You’d probably have a better chance of getting the one-shot published.
–It requires less financial commitment on the part of the publisher. For example, if your art team makes something like $120 a page, which I think is fairly low for a professionally-published comic, that comes out to $2900 per 24-page issue for artistic labor alone. After you factor in the writer(s), the editor(s), the printing costs, distribution and (possibly) promotions/marketing, each issue will probably cost the publisher tens of thousands of dollars.
Publishers aren’t rolling in money and it’s easier to risk tens of thousands on a one-shot than maybe a hundred thousand dollars on a limited series. (And God help those unpublished authors proposing ongoing series). If the publisher is pleased by the quality and sales of the standalone, it will be receptive to adding on issues.
–It’s much easier to pull off a one-shot without delays. For one thing, when you submit your one-shot, you’ll probably have it fully scripted. In contrast, you’d probably only have 1-2 issues of a series scripted at the time of submission. I think it’s wiser/safer for an inexperienced author to have his scripts ready at the onset of the project because scripting an issue is typically a tortuously slow process for rookies. (It gets faster as you practice).
–If you’re doing a one-shot, it’s easier to avoid resolving very little and saving it all for the next issue. There may be a bit of downtime here and there, but generally I’d recommend a steady stream of plot resolutions. One way to do so is to work in intermediate goals–the heroes probably won’t defeat the main villain right away, but you can have them beat a henchman/lieutenant or acquire something significant or achieve something else while we wait for the final confrontation.
A good place to look for unique powers is in the Ultimate Powers book for the Marvel Superheroes RPG. There are a lot of amazing ideas in there, it really does cover about everything you can think of.
how long should a graphic novel be?
I think 168 pages is the average. My brief Google search mostly uncovered GNs in the 140-180 page range.
Thanks B. mac. I want to give an update on the story you read a while back. I’ve taken a lot of your advice and pared it down to a hawaii five-0 type of thing. Aldmen(the character) is going to start out much more confident, which I think was the main thing you were driving home about, if that makes sense.
Whats good SN? So i was wondering if a hero had an impenetrable heart and blood vessels how would that effect his anatomy? Would that mean his skin could be cut but he wouldn’t bleed?
“Would that mean his skin could be cut but he wouldn’t bleed?” Yes, I think that sounds believable.
My superhero is suppose to be the most powerful superhero among them all. But according to the plot, I limited his powers to the four original elements…is this a bad move?
Well, if your hero is meant to be the greatest superhero of them all you should think of other things besides his powers to give him an edge above the others. Maybe he’s an expert tactician? Is extremely cool under serious pressure? Is he willing to make sacrifices that most other heroes wouldn’t?
I suppose your powers are okay. Being that I don’t know the range of powers you gave other heroes it’s hard to pinpoint whether or not the hero is overpowered. But it’s definitely a possiblility. Packing the four elements would make someone pretty tough.
I have a few questions:
- What about his personality makes him the best hero? What is his personality?
- For reference, what are some other character’s abilities? Also, what was it that exempted them from greatness?
Well he is cool under preasure, and is a technician and all that. He is a warrior!
As for the extent of his powers, I still haven’t decided yet, since he is not one that turns to his powers, or avoids situations where he may have to use his powers to their full extent I doubt I’ll have to in the near future.
Well there is one who can change reality, another who can subdue the powers of others and even their energy; but then those two are sages rather than fighters.
I haven’t gone to the extent with others yet I am still developing their powers, I just am afraid I might cross the line! Especially with one, who is like Peter Petrali
Hey guys. Does anyone have any suggestions on creating armored/robotic/tech based heroes and villains? I’m developing my universe and find it much easier to create characters that have superpowers and such. Any advice?
Con-El, where’s your universe set – a typical superhero world, a sci-fi world, or a futuristic world (Note: By sci-fi here, I’m differentiating that from futuristic by meaning a story not set on Earth)?
I’m not great with such sorts of heroes, but I’ll do the best I can to help.
- Wings
Hello, Con-El!
I guess my suggestions would be not to make all of your characters skills rely on their tech. I understand that this is there power, however, if a hero is useless without their suit or tech I’d recommend rethinking their skill parameters. For example, Tony Stark has the Iron Man suit, but outside of it he is great with machinery, a genius, excellent tactician, and a charmer.
- Technological malfunctions or E.M.P’s would be great ways to force character’s to work without their gear.
I’ll keep thinking…
RB said: “I guess my suggestions would be not to make all of your characters skills rely on their tech. I understand that this is their power; however, if a hero is useless without their suit or tech, I’d recommend rethinking their skill parameters.” I think that’s important for every superpowered character, actually. Give them something going on besides the powers. Particularly if they got their superpowers primarily by accident, luck, birth or something else outside of their control.
One thing that bothers me is when a manuscript makes the character sound like a collection of powers rather than a person that happens to have powers. Powers are just a part of a character, and almost never the most interesting part. (Personality, traits, voice, etc).
…
With powersuited heroes specifically, I’d recommend occasionally forcing them into tough situations where they can’t just rely on the armor. What does your hero do when he’s caught in a situation where he isn’t wearing the suit? What does your hero do when he’s in a situation that isn’t well-suited to a powersuit at all? (For example, maybe his suit is a bit too clunky to handle something delicate like moving the Mona Lisa out of a dangerous position or defusing a bomb). Or maybe he’s in a situation where his suit is too lethal. For example, if armed juveniles are robbing a bank, shooting them would be unseemly. How does he subdue them without getting any bystanders hurt in the process?
Also, I agree with RB that malfunctions and EMPs are effective ways to force the characters to improvise. Relatedly, you might be able to do something with computer viruses and/or hacking.
Ok thanks guys. To answer your question Wings, the universe I am attempting to create is populated by various individuals with extra-human capabilities. Their are people who utilize advanced technology and/or powered armor, people who can manipulate magic and superpowered humans. The emergence of advanced tech, superpowered people and magic users all suddenly began to emerge about six months before my universe starts. An event no one can explain, but that everyone has been trying to find the truth behind, left hundreds of people superpowered or able to harness magic in the modern world. So yeah, the s*** is still hitting the fan but the people in power seem to have everything calmed down and stable.
I plan to write three stories to introduce my future audience to my universe. These stories will prominately feature one of the three types of heroes in my universe. I’ve already got one story planned for the most part. I can’t decide whether to start planning one of the other two or stick with the other one for a while longer. I like to try and get everything in order before moving on, but I tend to try and force ideas when I get strung out on a project. So I’m having a little trouble but so what, that’s the writing process right?
Off topic: You know, some times character traits that aren’t superpowers can be just as useful/more useful than the actual powers: For instance, on my character encyclopedia, I list “Charismatic” as a superpower for Shift just because he utilized it so well. As a human shapeshifter, he made the perfect infiltrator, but it was his acting/mimicry skills and ability to make people like him that made him excellent at spying.
- Wings
Hey guys,
I’ve been troubled by a few things that I’m working on in my story and I’m hoping I can get some help/advice.
My main character does seem a bit over-powered (check out my review forum) but I think he’s relatively weak as well. His power allows him to do a great number of things, but it is physically taxing and unless he prepares himself properly, he cannot use his powers at night. I think that’s one heck of a weakness. My question is this: What can I do to make him seem more human? I mean, he’s a teenager, with no skills or training whatsoever, and the only thing he really has going for him is his powers. Without them, he’s just a scared kid. His personality is well-rounded enough, but he doesn’t trust anyone and has a tendency to run from his problems instead of facing him down. How can I tell if these are going to be likable traits or not?
My second question revolves around the use of super-strength as a power. One of my characters, named Truck, has super-strength and a form of body resistance that makes him quite resistant to most forms of damage. He is very young as well, and has had trouble adjusting to his abilities. He is a very likable character, and his power is a constant thing. What I’m hoping to get are some suggestions on how to put HIM in situations where he can’t use his powers or a situation where they would be completely useless. Hopefully you guys can help me out with that. Thanks a bunch
I don’t have much time< but I do have some suggestions:
- As for Truck, try to put him in situations with delicate, yet important (or dangerous) equipment. For example, what if he has to carry injured hostages through a series of traps. He himself could charge through, but the hostages can’t. This would force him to think of more creative ways around traps.
Darnit! Time has bested me yet again. I finish this later.
Hey guys, I’ve got a question. I’m currently attempting to develope this character with the ability to rewind time to a limited degree. I’ve always liked that power and so I’m attempting to put my onw personal stank on it if you will. My question is this, how for should he be able to rewind time?
There was an episode of ‘The Batman’ called ‘Seconds’ in which a time-rewinder was fought. He could rewind time for only twenty seconds but it was enough to steal components in order to build a nerve gas bomb; defeat batman, Robin and Batgirl; and kill everyone in Gothom City with said nerve gas bomb. In the end however, he was somehow able to rewind time enough to prvent all of it from happening.
I know one of the problems with time manipulaters is their ability to retcon stuff. But all I want this guy to do is rewind time for a short period. That’s all. I’m not gonna do anything that would let him go past his limit. So what do you guys think? What would an appropriate length of time be?
I think the power sounds very interesting. Because the events are being changed almost at the same time they happened, I don’t think there will be retcon problems. (You’re undoing the events before they have the chance to gel in the readers’ minds). Also, it seems like an excellent way to build urgency with a ticking clock. Can the hero undo [Event X] in however many seconds/minutes?
As for the time limit, I’d recommend keeping it short. Probably less than five minutes. It’ll make it harder for him to completely avoid dangerous situations with his powers.
I haven’t seen the episode, but one thing you might consider is that the ability to rewind time is useless if the antagonist is such a better fighter than you that he will beat you each time. So, while the ability to rewind time may help give me the initiative against (say) a tiger that attacks me, even if I know he’s coming, what can I do about it? (However, if he kills or knocks me out before I have the chance to use the power, then I definitely wouldn’t have the initiative).
I had originally believed it was an episode of the Twilight Zone, but I cannot seem to find which one it is. I remember seeing an episode of a TV show in which a person possessed a stopwatch which could rewind time for up to twenty seconds, and eventually got on a plane which was destined to crash, leaving him constantly rewinding time just in order to remain alive for twenty more seconds at a time.
That seems like an appropriate if not a tiny bit overpowered amount of time, but I think you’d have a lot more dynamic element if it was shorter than that, as in ten or possibly even five seconds, it would play off his personality a lot more because if he was inclined to be cautious, his hesitancy to rewind time might cost him the opportunity he needs, or if impetuous, he might rewind time too soon in response to an action, leaving himself too little time to react.
Additionally, if you intend for this to be a comic book character, five seconds would be a lot easier to depict in a single panel than twenty or ten.
Ok thanks a lot guys. I think I’m gonna go with ten seconds. Cause I’d like to play on the fact that he needs to choose the best oppritunity to rewind. And if he had twenty seconds, he might be able to avoid a deadly situation. But ten seconds means he NEEDS to know how and when to use his ability. I like it, thanks guys.
Also, I’d like your opinion on two things.
- I want this guy to be a credible threat, which he will be. But I wanted to base him on a combination of Mark Hamill’s Joker (animated) and Heath Ledger’s Joker (the Dark Knight). Like this guy expresses himself comically but is a cold-blooded murder.
- As I envision this character he’d be either from or obsessed with the 1970′s. He’d wear flashy clothes/costumes, something like Austin Powers. And due to these facts and his ability, he’d call himself Flashback.
What do you guys think?
I like the name Flashback, I think it’s in the same vein as Showtime (my superhero).
I also like what you’re aiming for in your villain. My only concern is that he may come off as too much like the Joker and not original. However, I think it’d be fairly easy to make your character stay original.
As for Flashback’s costume, hmm, I don’t know. The 1970′s ideas sounds like it could be interesting, but it also sounds like it could look really… not interesting. You should look up some 1970′s clothes and see if you can infuse them with some heroic elements.
Ok, thanks. I mean i knew the 70′s look was risky I just thought it fit his character. But I’ll research it.
One episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold features the Music Meister, who dresses like a ’70s pimp. Not surprisingly, they got Neil Patrick Harris to voice him. Who else could voice a singing pimp?
Hey everyone. i was hoping you guys could throw in your two cents.
So I’m starting a new comic and i want my main character to have a more unique power (no super strength, speed or anything else like that) and i can’t really come up with a solid idea, i was hoping you guys might have some.
Some powers i thought of are weight manipulation: he can change his own weight from a fraction of a pound to (insert really high number here).
and i was also thinking about sonic scream.
if you guys have any advice or ideas they’re much appreciated. thanks.
Here are a few interesting powers that come to mind:
Foresight: Able to see a certain amount of time into the future. I made a character whose power was seeing 10 seconds into the future which allowed him to counter nearly any attacks his foes threw at him. If you feel it is appropriate, you could make his powers to see into the future even greater, but of course that normally leads to a lot of holes in a story
Spines: Bones are stronger than people give them credit for. You can limit it to be related to Wolverines, though I strongly advise not too, or you can go extreme and make him a calcium behemoth, complete with spikes and natural bone armor.
Sharkskin: One interesting character I had made was covered with near microscopic spines which enhanced his fists with one hundred tiny blades, allowed him to climb walls, and even gave him resistances to certain attacks. It’s like spines, but they are all a lot smaller.
Limited Manipulation: You could have your character be able to manipulate certain items into weapons. Such as, he can turn an item into an explosive, but the item has to be a certain material, like wax, or cheese if you want to be ridiculous.
Well, there’s a few things. By the way, your ideas of weight manipulation of sonic scream are not prevalent or overused, so they seem good to me. Anyway, these were just a few suggestions, I’m sure the others on this site can help you more than I did.
Hmm…To add on to P’s statement, bone manipulation is definitely unique and unusual so long as you use it plausible. Agility’s kinda underrated as a power, so that could also make an interesting skill.
If anything, take a well known power and reinvent it. For one of my characters, I combined the powers of mind reading and creating illusions to create the ability to “animate” the memories of others for a certain period of time.
- Wings
Here’s a few unique powers off the top of my head:
Smoke Manipulation: This could also involve the character being able to become temporarily incorporeal. Common uses include gusts, smokescreens, illusions, environmental blending, etc.
Minions: The character can summon up a team of little kickass helpers (I, personally, would’nt go over five helpers unless it was a major event). Each helper could perform a different action or they can team up for devastating and cunning tactics or both. For a limitation I would have the helpers linked directly to the hero’s body. If one is taken out it impacts the user.
Black Knight: Any pain inflicted on the hero can be retained, strengthened, and fired at enemies (I imagine the pain in the form of a purple or crimson red lance). Of course, the pain does tax the user, but they would have a higher tolerance to pain given their ability. Pushed to the limit the character’s suicide or death causes a death wave.
Full Body Control: Heavily taxing the user this would probably be a time-based power. For a period of time the user have complete control over their body and can morph and create things like claws, fur, wings, a tail, tentacles, spines, scales, sharp teeth, elongating limbs for harpoon attacks, etc. I imagined a character named Freakshow with this power.
Additional Voice Capabilities: In addition with sonic screams (did you know that past a certain decibel limit you can deflect bullets?), you could add pitches that can overload the brain and knock them out and undo locks. Also, voice mimicry and sound mimcry would be great for tricking enemies.
That’s all I got for now. Like any?
Hey fellas, I got another question. I’m developing characters for a comic involving a supergroup and am having trouble powering one of them.
What i’m thinking about using is the power of sublimation, the ability to turn into an incorpreal being of some kind of smoke/gas. So this is my question, how do you guys rate that ability. I mean is unique enough to use effectively? Is is powerful enough on it’s own? What do you guys think?
Whats good Con-El, I would like to know what abilities the other characters on the team have. But In my opinion I think that would work well for a spy or stealth based character. I think you could definitely make it work!
Well I’ve only got three out of six characters definately powered. The sublimator is tentatively based on whether of not I like how that power fits with the others. Now I am aware the final decision is of course, but I’d really like as many opinions as I can get you know?
Ok well as for the reast of the team,
member #1- can generate concussive energy from virtually any part of their body
member #2- portal creation (teleportation like that used by fat Jenemba)
member #3-petro-kinesis (the ability to manipulate their own organic crystals, if it helps I combined Colossus from X-men and Diamondhead from Ben 10 to create this power)
member #4- sublimation, I’m actually leaning towards this power, but I’m still not sure
Ok so I got the rest of the group and I wanna know what you guys think ok?
Kid Concussion-can generate concussive energy from virtually any part of his body
Shard-perto-kinesis
Portal-portal creation
Cheshire-sublimation
Sapphire-can generate and manipulate a brillant blue bio-energy
Synergy-a shapeshifter who can change into different forms based on the power of a superhuman that he touches
Yo I don’t think I’m very god at this because I never have anything bad to say…Lol but I really like the powersets you have abd I can se them really meshing well together…I really like the petrokinesis ability!
“Hey Ragged Boy, why do they call that ability Black Knight?”
It’s name after a dressphere in Final Fantasy X-2 in which you have similar abilities. Arcane Knight would also work well. I think this power is really creepy, but really cool too.
That could work if the story you were aiming for is a bit grittier. Although, it would be interesting to read a scene in which a hero has to save the day with a severed arm.
I’m needing an opinion of some superhumans:
The first is named Stronghold. He’s pretty much a scaled down Superman, he’s 350 times stronger and faster than normal, he can fly, has laser vision, super breath. The only difference is his vulnerabilities. Medium caliber guns will hurt him and temperatures over 115 degrees will cause him to loose all but 10% of his strength.
The next is the Black Diamond. This is simple, he is a gigantic diamond, nearly invulnerable. Weakness: because he can’t feel the pain things like explosions, high heat, the cold, etc.. will cause him damage.
Aquarius. He can instantaneously concendade water, think a powerful power washer. He can also change into a 14 foot tall monster that resembles a giant snake-head with legs.
Psychelenchos. His name means mind controller. He can read minds, but only what they are thinking at the moment. Control minds, one at a time and he has to mirror what he wants them to do. He can do more mental things but those take time and concentration.
With Stronghold, I’d recommend swapping out laser vision and superbreath for other powers unless you specifically want the character to resemble Superman. I would recommend making 115+ degree heat weaken him by more than 90%, since he would still be 35 times stronger/faster than normal. Other than that, I think those powers will work.
Black Diamond “is a gigantic diamond.” Just to make sure I understand you… he’s a diamond? Does he talk? Does he have hands?
The other two sets of powers sound workable. Good job.
Hello Hopful!
I’ll go by character:
Stronghold: I like that he’s meant to be a watered down Superman, but I fear his abilities are a little too similar to Superman’s. I’d recommend switching his secondary abilities (the one’s beside flight, strength, and speed*) to something more original, or at least something not the same as Superman. I like that he has more vulnerabilities that should help make fights with human enemies more compelling. The technicalities of his powers probably aren’t necessary to divulge in-story. It seems very unlikely that his exact limits will be test; either he can lift something (or move faster than something) or he can’t is enough for the reader to accept his powers.
Black Diamond: BD actually has the potential for some good drama. Pain acts as a natural gauge of a person’s limits without it a person can push themselves to death and not even notice. That’s why warriors are taught to be resistant of pain, but never oblivious of it. Other than that he seems fine. I, personally, find it interesting that his invulnerability is not coupled with superstrength now he has to think more about how he attacks. Another potential weakness could be his weight. I’d surmise that his body weighs much more than the average human, he would have to get creative to handle situations with unstable floors. Also, the fact that BD and Stronghold share a similar weakness (extreme heat) would be good for cunning villain. I could already imagine them getting caught in the villain’s hellish firestorm trap.
Aquarius: Ha! My superhero’s name was almost Aquarius, it’s Showtime now, but he’s still an aquamancer. I was a bit confused with this sentence:
“He can instantaneously concendade water, think a powerful power washer.”
I wasn’t sure if by ‘concendade’ if you meant concentrate, concinnate, or condensate. I guessing it’s concentrate going with the power washer thing. I think this power is okay, my question is does he need a water source or not? I don’t see the connection between his first ability and the second. Why a snake-monster? and with the description you gave of it, it sounds odd looking.
Psychelenchos: I’d recommend finding a new name for this character, the current name is difficult to read and pronounce. His powers seem okay, I like that you limited his mind reading ability that should help to keep the suspense up.
Thanks for your advice, sorry I can’t spell.
With Stronghold, the technicalities of his powers are actually important, only in speed. He can only travel at 3500 mph. It may sound fast, but if something is happening on the other side of the world it would take him half an hour, bad for the hostages. Also he is supposed to be like Superman. Aside form that I can’t change the laser vision, it plays a good size part int he plot with identifying the villain
Black Diamond would fight by changing the form of his arms into knives, swords, maces, etc
Aquarius, yes I meant condensate. The snake-head is a type of fish native to Asia and Africa, they’re big, mean and have been known to attack, and even in one instance, kill people. The connection is this when in the fish form he can move water to his “hands” and “feet” to propel him, like a squid, up to 200 mph. On land this meant that he can shoot out water more powerful than a fire hose. The water source would be the air, more specifically the humidity. If you want to bring him down, take a dehumidifier whit you when you rob a bank.
Psychelenchos, I know the name sucks. If you have any ideas please share. This character has been giving me fits since I created him. What are his limits, what can he do, mist importantly what is his name. I know that this will come up. The psychic helps with the main character’s girlfriend with separating her dark personality from her as well as identifying the villain, who is also a psychic.
P.S With the name, nothing mystic the book is only scientific. I have even succeeded in explaining some of the powers with out breaking any scientific laws.
Ok fellas, here’s a question. How can a comicbook universe developer get away with having superhumans, magic users, demon/angels, armored heroes/villains in the same universe, make it all seem normal enough to portray and NOT have it be compared to Marvel/DC like I imagine it will be. What do you guys think?
Introduce it all gradually, Con-El? For example, Dr. McNinja introduces a few ridiculous concepts in each issue (like banditos riding raptors or Ronald McDonald as the end boss or a gorilla as a receptionist or Dracula in space or time-travelling astronauts turned zombie-fighting mayors, etc).
Also, I think Marvel and DC comics often skip or gloss over the part where the characters meet each other. Most independent stories take more time showing how the characters meet each other, how their relationships evolve, etc. I think it’s because Marvel/DC characters are usually better-known to the readers beforehand than independent characters are. (Also, I’d expect that an independent comic would spend more time introducing the character because you can’t assume that your readers know anything about Captain Awesome, whereas most Superman fans are at least pretty familiar with the character’s concept and major backstory).
“The connection is this when in the fish form he can move water to his “hands” and “feet” to propel him, like a squid, up to 200 mph.”
-That doesn’t really answer my question. I mean the connection between his water shooting power and his ability to turn into a snake-head monster. Do they stem from the same source? Can he fire water because he can become a snake monster?
-As for suggestions for Psy’s name how about Cortex? That sounds highly scientific.
“I have even succeeded in explaining some of the powers with out breaking any scientific laws.”
- Welcome to the world of writing science fiction.
First of all the snake-head is a fish, second, yes he can shoot water because he can turn into a monster. The fish state is the main power, the water shooting comes second.
Thanks! Cortex is just the name I’ve been looking for.
That last line sounds a little scarcastic. I’ll take that back if you can explane to me a plasuable way to explane Superman-like flight.
To prove that I know what I’m talking about, Laser vision. It could be atcheved by providing a large amount of energy to the victerious humor in the eye, which would have to contane a large amount of carbon dioxide. That would cauce the humor to floress laser light. A mirror like substace in the back and you have Laser Vision.
See this scientific, and it could work.
You perceived my statement incorrectly. I was being honest. Writing science-fiction is all about taking scientific occurences, watering them down, and explaining them in a manner that sounds plausible.
My superhero, Showtime, has a suit that produces water controlling pheromones which allow him to not only control water, but its properties as well for maximum effect. I suppose I have a little more wiggle-room because his tech is alien-made. So it’s okay if even I don’t know the complete science behind it.
Sorry then, I thought you were being a little rude and I was defending my statement. I fully apologise. That may not be spelt right. I just enjoy being able to explane what is really happening. It would make the reader feel as if the the fictional world could exist in this one.
Well, in most cases the explanation of the power isn’t necessary and probably isn’t worth the space it takes up. Unless of course you can easily fit it into a scene, then I see no problem. For example, in my story I plan to have batty alien chemist, Jimelly, watch over Adrian’s (Showtime) training and a few of his fight and express explanations as ravings of an intrigued scientist. That way his explanations fit with his character and are appropriate. Scientists make great side-protaganists.
When they first get thier powers they are transfered to different hopitals before being tranfered to a classified base that even the most out there conspireist would not belive in. This means that they will have the best scientists poking and proading them to find out how they got their powers. They also are churious as to how they got their powers. So betwene the scientists and their own churiosity some, but not all of the powers are explained. More superhumans are introduced and then they are the ones who are doing the explaining to the freaked out high schoolers.
My only problem with your idea for the hospital scene is that nothing urgent is occuring, it sounds like a bit of an info-dump. The scene doesn’t sound like it would work to advance the plot or develop the character. And remember, if a scene does neither of these thing then it is probably not an effective scene. As a tweak, you could have them trying to escape from the secret facility because they find out it’s in connection with a baddy. That gives you the opportunity to explain their powers by having custom-made traps (you could even have evil scientists explaining to attendants how their powers work and why the traps counter them) and foil a baddie’s plan in one stroke.
What do you think?
Actualy the are unconcinious while in the hospitals. It is just an explanation to where thay have been for the past week. The powers are actualy explaned while they are behind glass showing their powers to several members of congress. Their powers are explaned there while they decide their fate. This happens in the base, they never see the in hospital.
Hmm. I still have some reservations about such an expository scene, but okay. I suppose, in the end,the execution is all that really matters.
Hey, I’ve been working on a superhero team novel for quite some time now. I could use a bit of feedback.
The backstory to the area is that during World War II, both sides began developing supersoldier experiments to give themselves the edge. But, when the war ended, the superhumans had nothing left to do. Some became heroes, some became villains, some just went on to live normal lives. But, one major supervillain managed to recruit the majority of the villains to his side, and started world war III. The rest of the free world fared poorly, until a superhero elected himself as global defender, and created superhuman control laws, forcibly drafting any superhuman into the army to fight back.
My story starts in the middle of this war, with a group of superhuman teenagers. Some of them know each other, some of them don’t, and some of them loathe each other. But, when the city is put in jeopardy, they all turn up at the same place, and save the city, only to be marked by the government as draftees. In evading the police, they find out about an even greater threat. (Ironically, the first disaster would have plunged the city into chaos, but the second would anhilate the city entirely)
Finding that they work well together, the group decides to form their own superhero team, naming themselves after the team that owned the base they use.
Comments please.
It sounds interesting, ekimmak. I like the on-the-run angle.
When you write your query to publishers, I’d recommend focusing more on the protagonists (personality, key traits, key relationships, etc).
I like how that sounds ekimmak…do you have characters developed? If so what are they like?
What do you mean by “have the characters developed”?
I think Ro is asking how much you have already fleshed out the characters–personality, voice, distinguishing traits, that sort of stuff. For more details, you might want to check out our Characterization category.
Ah, personality. Well, I think I have that right. Some of the personalities are a bit shallow, but they have reasons for it.
Here’s an example. Raven (Goth with invisibility powers) is introduced while she’s doing the gardening, weeding in her greenhouse. At the end of the paragraph, she’s replanting the weeds in her front lawn.
Wow, now that I’m trying, I can’t actually get good descriptions of my characters. I could tell you the stereotypes they were originally based off, but that wouldn’t help because they’ve really changed from the original ideas.
Okay, my second attempt at descriptions, but this time much shorter.
Michael: Loner, claws and regeneration
Raven: Goth, invisibility
Jake: Juvenile, ice armour
Rayne: Rich girl, weather control
Ace: Cheapskate, luck
Sarah: Extreme sports girl, sonic scream
Zach: Nerd, energy blast
Janet: Cheerleader, telepathy
Mark: Jock, superstrength
Tacha Lynn: Mad scientist, intelligence
Calvin: Surfer, water breathing + tentacles
Farley: Music enthusiast, vampire powers
Remember, this was a prototype of what they’d be like
What does it mean when raven plants the weeds in her front lawn?
Hmm. Twelve characters would be a hell of a lot. I’d recommend 3-5 major characters for a first-time author. I think that eliminating/merging some of the characters would give you more space to make the remaining characters more three-dimensional. Right now, it seems like they are one-dimensional (or at least one-dimensional in prototype).
Some of the prototypes seem like they don’t have a lot of dramatic potential or are redundant with other characters. For example, the cheapskate. How many scenes could you do with him? What does the jock add that the extreme sports girl doesn’t? If the two characters are redundant, I’d get rid of one. What does the mad scientist add that the nerd doesn’t? What does the loner add that the Goth doesn’t? What does the surfer add that the cheerleader doesn’t (are they both just flaky blonds with Valley accents)? How many scenes could you do with a music buff? (Unless music is a major part of the plot, I suspect that he’ll overlap a lot with the juvenile in being kind of disconnected from reality and focused on things of interest to nobody else).
Some of the characters could probably benefit from being fleshed out beyond characters currently on the market. How is Jake different from Iceboy fan-fiction? How is Michael different from Wolverine fan-fiction? How is Raven different from (ahem) Raven fan-fiction?
For the powers, I would recommend coming up with something besides tentacles for Calvin. My instinctive response to them is that “Oh God, this is going to be high-octane fetish fuel” but I don’t think that’s what you’re going for. (And, if it IS what you’re going for, we need to have a talk).
For some reason your characters remind me of the cast of Cartoon Network’s Total Drama Island. I’m going to second B. Mac’s recommendation about fusing some of these characters to make more three-dimensional personalities as opposed to generic archetype personalities.
I like your premise, but you’re going to need characters that can carry the story. But seeing as your current characters are only prototypes I see no reason why you don’t have room to flesh them out.
Wow, long comment. Time for an equally long comment.
The personalities make them different. You were right, the first time I wrote it, they were pretty one dimensional, but thats different now. For instance, Ace is also a terrible coward. When he finds out that the city is in jeopardy, he makes a run for it, only to get horribly lost and end up involved anyway. He’s also extremely superstitious, which more for the comedy value, because Raven owns a black cat.
Jock was a pretty bad example of what he was like. I was sort of thinking of a guy who thinks he should be the leader, cause he’s the strongest. But, his powers are a lot less than the generic superstrength hero (no invincibility). The extreme sports girl is really more an overachiever. She does a little better at everything, takes extra responsibility, and often has broken bones.
Nerd isn’t his personality anymore. About the only thing that was nerdlike the first time was his tendency to get bullied. But that was because he had a tendency to unintentionally insult people.
The mad scientist is a superior intellect. Often, when she talks, they need a dictionary to translate her, and she’s been known to invent impossible things just because she saw them on television. (“Let me guess, star wars was on last night.”)
The difference between loner and goth is that the loner has no social skills, and gave up after too many bad friendships. The goth however, was alone for many years, and quite enjoyed being alone, and doesn’t appreciate the sudden crowd using her home as a base of operations.
When I said cheerleader, I didn’t mean the steortypical evil girl (That’s her friend). She had great telepathic powers, and used them badly. Now, she’s dealing with terrible guilt, and her new, mysteriously reduced powers.
The surfer, however, is practically nothing like that. He just spends a lot of time around the water. When i say his powers are tentacles, think Doc Ock’s arms in Venom style. Realistic, not fear fuel.
The Farley doesn’t really have much of a part in the first book. She just hangs out in the basement, playing her guitar. (Ace is convinced the house is haunted by a rock star). I’m more focusing on the vampire side of her than the music, although her music interests are what make her a vampire.
Jake is different from iceman both personality and powerwise. For instance, his powers don’t have ice throwing, ice sliding, etc. It’s limited to two things, armour and sword. His armour is just foot thick ice. For personality, he’s a lot colder, only in the team for payback (Long backstory).
Michael is not Wolverine (although a lot of people expect that simply from the powers). In a fight with Wolverine, he would lose, because he’s not a hard-edge fighter, and doesn’t even want his powers. He prefers to outthink opponents. When attacked on a walkway by a group of henchmen, rather than take them on all by himself, he’d cut through the walkway supports. If faced with a large superstrong robot, he’d lead it near an electromagnet.
I have no idea how many Ravens there are already in the superhero world, or what their powers are, so I really wouldn’t know what makes her different. Let’s see, imperfect invisibility, knife, exotic pets, does this sound like them?
And the earlier question about her, is that she has a thing for plants. Most people pull up weeds because they don’t want weeds. Raven was pulling them up because she didn’t want them in her greenhouse. She planted them in the lawn, because she didn’t care what the lawn looks like.
I didn’t see that post, I was so busy writing mine. Total Drama Island? Yes, I can see why you’d think that. Is this why you’re writing some of my character’s genders incorrectly? (Last time I checked, Farley is a girl’s name.) When I said these were prototypes, what I meant was that these were the first things I could think of that described them.
Actually, Farley isn’t generally a first name at all, but a surname, so until you went into greater detail, there was no reason to assume a female gender, and even if it were, Farley is generally considered a masculine name. According to a few web sites, it even specifically means “from the Bull pasture” which denotes fairly specifically that it is a masculine name.
http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Farley
Ah, sorry. I just remember a book where the main character is ticked, because her mother named her after a character from a romance novel. I assumed it was female.
I’m trying to set out a universe for my story but I really need help. I want to create a universe that is governed but complete stupidity and comedy. Just plain nonesense where actually ANYTHING can happen. I want everything in this set to be funny. The main character is called Loki who seems to be the only sane person around. This makes him very judgemental.
I can see why that would be difficult, Puck. I think that the problem with a world where anything can happen without cause is that things that might be funny under the right circumstances would probably feel like an ADHD trip. (It’s my birthday party! In Jurassic Park! And then the cake explodes!)
I won’t wade too deep into the philosophy of comedy, but let me say this: I could tell several ****ing funny stories about cakes exploding, some of which are fictional*, but they wouldn’t be funny if I made them just plain nonsense where random things happened. I think that comedy usually involves playing on the audience’s expectations and if the audience can’t know what to expect (because literally anything is possible), I’m not entirely sure that comedy is possible.
I’m also sort of wondering how you would create a plot for this story. What sort of problems would arise for Loki? How would he deal with them?
*As opposed to, say, the Lone Star State fiasco.
I was thinking it would be a cross between like Scary Movie and South Park. Loki seems fed up with life because everyone around him is bound to do something stupid every five minutes. But in the end, the people in his town prove to him that they aren’t entirely useless.
Don’t mean to interrupt, but I could use a bit of inspiration.
What I’m thinking of is that while the rest of the team is off saving the city, Farley stays at home (because she isn’t a real member yet, only three of the team know she exists.) A group of thugs break in, intending to burn the mansion to the ground. She stops them with ease, but they brought along a mutant to protect them from vampires. He’s a superspeedster, who can turn into a blur of light and attack her with ease. I’m trying to come up with how Farley beats him. I was considering having him run into a mirror, but it doesn’t quite seem right. Any ideas?
Well. if they intended to set the mansion on fire, they most likely brought an accelerant as fuel for the fire, so she could encircle herself with it, causing him to combust it when he tried to strike next, setting himself aflame and protecting her temporarily from further attacks, giving her an opportunity to disable or kill him, depending on your preferred tone. You could use this for comedic relief as an extremely high-tech system could take immediate action against the fire, rendering her confrontation pointless, or use it to drive a dramatic wedge between her and the others, as her efforts could cause substantial fire damage to the mansion before she successfully handles it.
Another idea could be that she causes substantial damage to the mansion in the process of protecting it, she could lure the lot of them into the storage area of the building and cause all of that to come crashing down, making it too difficult for the speedster to move without falling at the heights of his speed, or perhaps a library area, sending shelves full of books crashing down for a similar purpose?
Just a few ideas, heh.
A high tech system? Sounds like something Tacha would make.
Thanks for the advice.
Hello, im writing a story about five people with superpowers:
1. Electrical Manipulation and Enhanced Speed
2 Wind Manipulation and flight
3. Water manipulation and invisibility
4. Earth Manipulation and enhanced strength
5. Pyrokinesis
here’s my question: What power can go with pyrokinesis that is somewhat related to it like the other powers have?
Depends on what you mean by somewhat related. You could give him heat resistance, or something like that, which is obviously related. But Something that’s vaguely related could be a death-touch, like Rogue from X-men. Think about it: Fire will eventually destroy what it burns, a touch of death is related to that.
You could also use intangibility or invisibility (like smoke, and where’s there’s smoke, there’s fire)
How about duplication because a fire grows and spreads like a superhero might replicate themselves?
what about combustion?
Maybe something related to poisons or poison gas. Fire gives off dangerous fumes. In real life, they’re often lethal (carbon monoxide and cyanide, among others), but I could understand why you might want to tone down the deadliness.
By combustion I mean something like Gambit of the X-Men or Combustion Man of Avatar:The Last Airbender …. I’m thinking of a pyrokinetic’s sub-skill
what if three superhumans wanted justice but they each had their own methods of achiveing it:
Cross: everything about him is unknown, his abilities are superhuman aim which makes him a very skilled marksman and he also has enhanced speed.
Nina Cruz/Angel Cruz: a girl with a split personaility. Nina has very strong light powers. with her powers she can fire a burst of light energy, flight and she can also make different things out of light ( sword, animals, etc) but when nina’s dark side Angel takes over she has darkness powers.
Jax: a man with physical strength and enhanced senses.
any suggestions, i need help on there methods
Dark_Minion
Here is what popped into my mind when I read your descriptions, take them for what they’re worth.
Cross: Sounds like a sniper. They are generally patient, scout out their targets and the terrain to learn routines and escape routes. A planner comes to mind, someone more likely to take out whoever he was after with one shot, be that finding the one piece of damning evidence to put the person away or other, more permanent, methods. That being said, a totally different person comes to mind when I see enhanced speed. That person I see as more reckless, impatient, and more likely to rush into events instead of considering them. Are you absolutely married to the idea of that particular combination of powers? Also, are we looking at a dark and gritty setting where “justice” can include killing? If so, he sounds most like an close-in assassin. Someone who scouts a target, then uses his speed and skill to get close to take out whoever he’s stalking in a hit and run attack.
Nina Cruz/Angel Cruz: The Nina part of her personality feels more like the straight superhero type, where justice means defeating the bad guy (not killing him) and turning him over to the authorities for prosecution. Angel sounds more cruel and capable of killing without compunction. She also seems more likely to destroy her opponents mentally by preying on many people’s instinctive fear of the dark. For a twist, maybe switch the personalities I described.
Jax: Sounds like a bruiser, someone who would confront their enemies and pound them into submission. He would probably take the law into his own hands. The enhanced senses suggests someone more stealthy and a spy-type (Superman excepted). Someone who would use those senses to eavesdrop on conversations, track an opponent from a distance, etc., to dig up dirt on him to turn over to authorities.
Would you be open to giving Cross the enhanced senses and Jax the enhanced speed? Superhuman aim and enhanced senses seem like a more natural fit to me, as does strength and speed. Cross could work as an ultimate sniper, especially if you give him some kind of super-weapon that works at insane distances. Of course, all of this depends on your type of setting. Hope this gives you some ideas.
Cross sounds like he’d fit more easily into a well-organized group, like the Company from Heroes or a criminal outfit or maybe a government agency. I’d recommend going with the criminal outfit or something like the Company because I think that he’d be more interesting if he had to worry about getting busted by the authorities. (Or, maybe if he is a government agent, he’s involved in seriously dirty stuff that his government can’t admit to, so they won’t bail him out if he gets caught). (One thing I’d recommend against doing, though, is making him somebody that is just a mindless killer that kills without asking any questions–I think that there’d be a lot of overlap with the Wolverine: Origins version of Agent Zero).
I’d recommend going with short-range guns (pistols, rifles, etc) instead of sniper rifles. It might be hard to give a sniper dramatic entry/escape scenes and I doubt you’d get much chance to use his speed.
It doesn’t look like his personality is fleshed out much yet. One option would be to do something like an archetypical Marine (organized, ridiculously tough, maybe uptight) with an unexpected personality trait. Maybe he’s brilliantly philosophical or doubles as the team diplomat/charmer or scientist. Another option would be to do an archetypical gangster/hitman with a twist. Or an archetypical street rat.
I don’t have much to add on Nina/Angel. The concept sounds more workable than Heroes’ Nicki/Tracy, in any case.
I’d recommend differentiating Jax’s personality from Cross’ in some way. For example, maybe Cross is a hitman and Jax is a do-gooder superhero. Or maybe Cross is a squeaky-clean cop/soldier/whatever and Jax is a mob enforcer. Maybe one character is substantially more methodical/patient than the other (I’d expect that it’d be Cross that’s the planner, but there’s no reason that it couldn’t be Jax). Maybe one has a radically different goal than the other. That could be something as simple as a do-gooder vs. somebody that’s more selfish, or maybe one is putting on the guise of joining the team to get the best opportunity at killing a particular target, or is joining the team to act as a mole for another organization.
Cross-basically is the “by any means nessecary” type
Angel- im gona leave out the split personality thing.
Jax-he is the “boy scout” type
Give them an unexpected trait (or possibly an unexpected background) to differentiate them from other “by any means necessary” and “boy scout” characters.
For example, Tony Stark is a brilliant scientist that isn’t a stereotypical nerd but actually a quite charming lady’s man and a wildly impulsive thrill-seeker. The protagonist of Monk is a private investigator and former police detective that isn’t tough or street-savvy but rather a super-precise, neurotic guy that freaks out when he gets dirty. For a demon, Hellboy is surprisingly compassionate–the first movie played that up to the point of ridiculousness with kittens. The protagonist of Avatar is a Marine that isn’t super-athletic but rather physically crippled (he lost his legs).
The point is, if we know or can guess pretty much everything there is to know about the character based on his archetype (whether that’s “ruthless/amoral,” “boy scout,” “brilliant scientist,” “Marine,” “private eye,” “demon,” etc), the character probably isn’t very interesting or well-developed. Giving characters unexpected traits helps make them feel like people rather than two-dimensional walking cliches.
In addition, maybe you can give Cross some reason for being willing to use any means necessary and why Jax is more restrained/principled. For example, maybe Jax is a father and so he really worries about being a bad role model for the bajillions of kids that look up to superheroes like him. Maybe Cross had a partner that died because Cross or the partner hesitated when a civilian got in the way. (Similarly, Scarface’s life went to hell because he refused to kill women and children–he called off a bombing and missed his chance to kill a critical gangster).
What kind of powers can you get from nanotechnology
I think you could use nanotech to sort of plausibly explain pretty much anything physical, most mechanical or electronic abilities, maybe intelligence, maybe bio-control, stretchiness, etc.
explain bio-control
The powers I listed under the bio-control category include acid/poison, controlling plants and/or animals, animal morphing, and the ability to take on another person’s appearance.
1. Taking another person’s appearance–if you “scan” another person’s body, the nanotech starts remaking the user’s body so that (s)he looks exactly like the other person. Depending on what you want to do, you might have the “scan” be something as simple as looking at the person, or it could be something more involved like touching the person or getting a DNA sample. Personally, I’m more of a fan of harder-to-use powers because it makes it easier to challenge the character. Another possible limit on the power is that it might have trouble helping a user morph somebody considerably smaller or larger. (If you’re gunning for scientific plausibility, creating or destroying mass is a problem… but you might be able to resolve that problem by just having the nanotech stretch or condense the person so that the volume changes but the amount of mass stays the same). Alternately, you can just say that he “borrows” mass from his surroundings or shoves it into pocket-space when he doesn’t need it. (Nobody wonders too much about why Beast Boy can become a T-Rex or microbe).
2. Animal morphing–here, you might want to give the character a bit more freedom in what he can morph. (Having to “scan” each animal he wants to turn into might be cumbersome). So maybe he can turn into any animal he can think of.
3. Controlling plants and/or animals–When he touches a plant and/or animal, he can inject it with nanotech that allows him to temporarily control its brainwaves. Some possible limitations: 1) this would probably only make sense if he got close enough to touch, 2) Maybe he has a limited supply of nanos or a limited computing capacity and can only control so many beings at once. (Probably somewhere in the realm of 1-3 at a time). 3) Maybe he has difficulty taking control of creatures with complicated brains (like humans).
4. Poison/acid–maybe the guy’s nanotech reconfigures his body to include a poison-creating organ and some way by which to shoot or inject it into people. Some examples include spitting acid, Poison Ivy’s toxic kisses, coating hands/claws, etc.
soo what kind of mechanical and electronic powers can you get from nanotechnology
Maybe the ability to seize control of machines and/or electronics by touching them (a la Generation Rex or Terminator 3 or Mikah in Heroes), or superior mechanical skill (as a repairman and/or mechanical engineer and/or vehicle/weapon builder), or superior hacking skills, or the ability to pilot vehicles remotely, etc.
how would intelligence work in combat
Anonymous: One of my characters is a hacker, but he also has some extra skills on top of it. He can fight, but not as well as the others, and has a couple of powers.
I guess intelligence could work if they were a math whiz or something, then they could calculate angles and take out an enemy by chucking something at a wall, having it bounce off and smash the enemy in the head. Or maybe using their knowledge about a particular animal to get it to leave them alone while mauling their enemy. That’s all I have right now. ^_^
“how would intelligence work in combat”–I think it really depends on what kind of intelligence he has. Maybe he’s a super-sharp strategist/leader. Maybe he processes fighting styles very well and can sometimes “read” what move his combatant is going to use next, allowing him to counter it. Maybe he’s really good at finding weaknesses. Maybe he uses his super-intelligence to create advanced weaponry. Maybe he’s so good at communicating with people that he can sometimes avoid a fight just by talking. Maybe he learns so quickly that he starts to adapt in the middle of the fight (perhaps by actually learning how to use the style being thrown against him, or maybe just getting used to the style so he gets a better idea of how to fight against it). Maybe some combination of the above. I’d recommend coming up with something that fits the character.
At some point or another in the future I plan to write a cyberpunk, superspy story. I plan on having two major agencies and a slew of peon agencies that work to impede the main two. The first agency (Gantt Agency for now) is the home of the protaganists. The agency believes in quality over quantity and has recruited three agents for their field team:
Name: Greyson Wiler
Codename: Finesse
Specialties: Infiltration, Recon, and Stealth. His tasks usually involve getting to the missions core destination through any obstacle
Skills: gymnastics, acrobatics, agility, and expert balance
Equipment: Through biotechnology Wiler acquired an arm-length, living guantlet. The guantlet is filled with minnow-sized organisms that take over an amorphous gel to create little bodies with different functions that Wiler calls his “goopies”. These functions include tentacles for grappling and whipping, recon goopies, super-sticky goopies, short-range projectiles, etc.
Name: Shiefa Alessia
Codename: Spice
Specialties:Demolition, All-Range Assault, and Support Tactics. She gets the team through enemy defenses, but is also equipped for close-range combat.
Skills: analysis, marksmanship, versed in an array of weaponry, and expert pilot.
Equipment: Equipped with The Heat Complex technology, she can create fields of intense heat as well as fire concentrates heat arrows. She also carries a pair of heat-conductive rods for close combat.
Name: Montgomery “Monty” Kissinger
Codename: Paragon
Specialties: Hacking, Logistics, Escape Tactics, and Backup Combatant. His brain works to get the team intel and routes to work to get to their destinations. He is also a competent fighter who ends up in combat-situation more than he prefers to.
Skills: hacking, versed in technology, perceptive and a fast-learner, and calm-minded.
Equipment: His high-tech suit acts as a computer equipped with scanner helmet, USB fingers, spatial analysis processor, tazer palms, burst propulsion boots, etc. He also carries twin concussive pistols with a charge function.
What do you think? In-story I plan to be a lot more eloquent and brief with the explanantion of their tech and it’s capabilites.
Looks fun–though I’m not sure you want a Spice girl. V. cool powers.
The biggest problem, in terms of a novel, might be that they’re too powerful. I wonder if you wouldn’t be better served having them start the novel without some or all of the tech–and probably as opponents, or at least working at cross-purposes–and make that one the ‘origin story,’ a bit.
Especially give how (genre) novels are usually structured, with the protagonists urgently determined to achieve a goal, and failing increasingly-disastrously to do so throughout the book until they finally succeed. So you need them to fail again and again.
I’d be sure to spend a lot of time thinking about the weaknesses of their tech and their training, and their personal shortcomings and stresses within the team. I’m sure that’s all in their backstories, though.
“I’m not sure you want a Spice girl. V. cool powers.”
- I’m not sure what this sentence was supposed to mean, but she’s no Spice Girl.
I can see how you could come to the conclusion that they are too powerful. What I was going for was a team whose skills work in conjunction to make them super-effective. Individually, they are competent, but their skills are specialized, they need their team dynamics to get the job done. Also, in-story I plan on having them going against biologically and technologically altered/mutated enemies so their tech will be effective, but it will always come down to their brains and creativity. And don’t forget that they won’t be the only agency on the scene with advanced tech and know-how.
“I’d be sure to spend a lot of time thinking about the weaknesses of their tech and their training, and their personal shortcomings and stresses within the team. I’m sure that’s all in their backstories, though.”
- Spot on! At a few points in the story, as well as the beginning, I plan on them working tech-less to show that they are still competent and skills with just brains. Their tech definitely has limits and they are human so they are subject to mistakes. Don’t worry, I hate Mary Sues and would never make my team invincible.
iif my character has a intuitive mind what kind of powers can he have
Hmm. I could see intuition going a few ways. (Feel free to mix and match as you like).
–Maybe the character is mentally very quick and has fast reflexes.
–Maybe the character is unusually good at figuring what’s going on. For example, maybe he’s got detective skills and/or is so good at recognizing when something is amiss that he almost has a spider-sense going on.
–Maybe the character learns things very easily. For example, if he’s mechanically gifted, maybe he can reconstruct a robot after seeing it once just because “it makes sense.” I’d recommend narrowing this to a particular field (machines, medicine, electronics/hacking, etc).
–Or maybe the character can copy some fighting moves after seeing them in action. Some limitations: he probably wouldn’t be able to copy something beyond his body’s limits. Seeing Superman shoot his eye-beams probably wouldn’t teach him much about how to do the same. Depending on how much you wanted to limit the character, you might decide that his moves are really limited by his strength/speed. Even if I knew how to throw a haymaker like Oscar de la Hoya, I wouldn’t be large enough to do much with it.
–With some sci-fi mumbo jumbo, you might be able to give him the ability to copy superpowers. By seeing how a power works, (here’s where the mumbo jumbo comes in) he can use [something sci-fi, probably] to reconstitute his body to use the power himself. Some possible limits: I think it’d be believable if this didn’t work too well on nonhumans–”The Human Torch” can “teach” him how a human can go fiery, but seeing Superman doesn’t teach him how to make a human body ridiculously tough because Superman isn’t human to begin with. I think it’d also make sense if this were somewhat limited by his body’s limits. Maybe he can’t replicate the Atom’s shrinking powers because it’s too much for the [sci-fi mumbo jumbo] to handle. Maybe he can only duplicate one hero’s powers at once because it’d be really dangerous to try altering his body twice at the same time.
–The character might be unusually resourceful because he intuits how he can accomplish something with random objects.
–The character might be unusually good at reading people. Maybe he’s good enough to usually know when somebody is lying, or know when somebody is hiding something, or pick up emotions, etc.
Hey, I’m new to novel writing but I find it quite enjoyable if frustrating, anywho, life story out of the way, I’m after some help.
I’ve got a five man band story going on, (TV tropes is my new wikipedia, thank you superhero nation), and figure I’d ask if they seem over/underpowered and whether you think they mesh well.
Adam Cadman-The Hero. Agility and relfexes. (Point of veiw character) His origin story is actually revealed near the end but he discovers his powers at the start.
Force/Barty Shepherd. Power armoured hero. Suit has [miniturised]jets for flight, wrist mounted/concealed machine guns and a cup holder. He is the mad character, likely to break the fourth wall.
Lizard. Super Strength, Reptilian scales give durability. Trapped in Lizard form, which is a different personality to the original form. Prone to Hulkspeak.
Retribute/Dirk Steel. Martial artist with good reflexes and hand to hand skills. These are increased further because he is a conduit for the hellforce, which grants him the ability to ‘shoot’ hellfire. If he does it to much he becomes weak untill he eats.
Kate Manna-The Psyker. She had immense psychic abilities until the ‘baddies’ implanted a mental block which prevents from using her powers unless she’s angry which causes her to go out of control. This leads to the Lizard mentioning ‘Lizard not like her when she’s angry’
What do you think?
Hello Five-Man,
Your team does remind me of the Avengers, but working in different team dynamics and social conflicts can easily extinguish any problems with similarities. My only concerns would be Force and Lizard. Force’s repeated breaking of the fourth wall could compromise the seriousness of your work. It works for Deadpool and a few other character, but it’s a risk. I’d recommend spacing his breakings and focusing on the execution. I do believe that you can break the fourth wall stylishly. As for Lizard I’d recommend making sure that his Hulkspeak doesn’t become a nuisance to read. Also, if his Lizard personality is his primary side I’d recommend making sure he has some relatable/likable traits.
All in all, sounds like a workable team. I’d recommend focusing on their personalites thoses are the aspects that really need to mesh to create interesting teams. For example, The tension between Captain America’s clean-cut style and Iron-Man’s flashiness makes for dramatic conflicts. These conflicts rose to their apex in The Marvel Civil War.
Thank you for the response Ragged boy.
Perhaps I could make Force genre savvy rather than breaking the fourth wall, but still keep him a bit mad. (The madness and ‘genre savvyness are what I believe differentiate him from Iron man to be honest. Also giving him weaponry that isn’t repulsors kinda helps somewhat.)
Instead of hulkspeak for Lizard perhaps simply speaking in 3rd person would suffice?
A final note, Deadpool is awesome.
Okay, so Cadman is a hero that relies on his reflexes and presumably fights unarmed. It looks like there’s a lot of overlap with the martial artist, who also has good reflexes and fights unarmed. I’d recommend differentiating their roles in battle a little bit more or, alternately, if the characters are too similar it might be worthwhile to consider getting rid of one. For example, maybe Retribute becomes a bit more of a long-range kind of guy.
Just so we’re clear, when you say Force is “mad,” you mean crazy/insane, right? (In the U.S., I think “mad” usually means “angry” than “crazy”).
What are the characters’ personalities like?
I agree with R.B. that breaking the fourth wall tends to reduce the seriousness of a story. I’m not sure that’s a problem for this novel, though. The cupholder in the power-suit and the play on the Hulk’s overwrought line suggest to me that it’s a comedy. I also agree with RB that it’s risky, whether in a comedy or not. (For example, if the author isn’t careful, it may end up disorienting the readers and many readers want an immersive reading experience rather than one that reminds them they’re reading a book). One way you might be able to break the fourth wall in a somewhat intrusive way is if the crazy powersuit guy is convinced that he’s a character in a comic book.
The Hulk-like lizard strikes me as problematic. I don’t think the Hulk (or another barely-sentient hero) lends himself well to a novel. Novels almost always have a hell of a lot more dialogue and less action than comic books do, and I’d assume that the people that will read a novel for fun are probably older and more literary than the typical Hulk fan. Two mitigating factors: it’s a five man team, so you could just focus on the other four characters in dialogue, and if it’s a comedy, you might have more leeway to use his voice to do something other than annoy the middle-aged, probably female editor evaluating the submission (“HULK SMASH!”). I’m not sure having Lizard speak in the third-person would resolve the issue, but it’s definitely better.
I like the idea of having Force be genre-savvy instead of breaking the fourth wall. I think it might be pretty funny if it’s the insane guy that knows the most about what’s going on.
I think it’s slightly cliche that the woman on the team is the psychic, but it’s a minor thing and you might even be able to use it for comedic effect. If the martial artist asks her about it, maybe she can respond like “Well, I was in martial arts training, but then I accidentally blew up my sensei’s brain.”
Thanks B.Mac
Yeah, when I say mad I mean crazy/nutjob but I guess thats what I get for being a brit. Oh well never mind.
Lizard, I’m hoping will gain a lot of dialogue with Force.
The banter (in my head, wait does that mean I’m mad?) between them will be something like,
Force makes a joke, “Oh no, not more generic mooks,” or something thats actually funny and Lizard would reply with,”hah hah… wait, Lizard doesn’t get it.”
Is it cliche for women to be psychic. Susan Storm, Jean Grey, Psylocke…. crap. Hmm perhaps an easy substitute (at least for the scene in my head, wait, now I’m worried) could be magnetic force control. Whereby when she gets angry, things start floating around and arcs of lightning/cheesy special effect(hooray another line for Force) start shooting everywhere.
A thought as struck me. Have Lizard somewhat intelligant but no-one takes him seriously because he talks in 3rd person.
A final note, I’m stealing the sensei brain explosion line.
I’m with B. Mac on this one, using both a genre savvy character and a genre blind character together would make for some interesting (and hilarious) exchanges.
- Wings
New story concept.
The main character is at school on the day when the President of the United States is coming to visit his school. Terrorist use this as an oppurtunity to get at the president. They succeed in capturing the president and so the main character and the kids plan and attempt to save the President. They succeed but not without being exposed to a bio weapon in the form of gas that the terrorist were equipped with. The terrorist thought it was a nerve gas but actually it was a biological enhancer created by the military. They manipulated the terrorist to steal and also allowed them to infiltrate the school so that humans could be exposed and they could test the effectiveness of the weapon.
So the people who were exposed begin to gain abilities.
But im having trouble deciding on the power that I want to have for my main character.
I only have two character ideas right now.
Marc
Powers/abilities: This is who im planning to be my main protag.
Im not sure what I wana do for him so this is who i need help with.
Im thinking he can be someone like a mix between captain america and spiderman. I dont know. His personality is enthusiastic, outgoing, visionary, thats all i got so far.
Trev
Powers/abilities: Combat precognition, superhuman reflexes
He was apart of the group thats helped free the president. He gained his abilities from the bio enhancer. He has training equivalent to a government black ops operative. But he doesnt know because he has a split personality. His Dad is a goverment hired scientist who has been using him as a live in experiment. They have been training his other personality and he has no idea about it.
So let me what you think. Thanx guys
A presidential kidnapping plot with terrorists seems like a complicated–maybe needlessly complicated–way to have the military test its biological enhancer (weapon?*). Also, if they think it’s a nerve gas, why do they use it in a kidnapping plot? (Is there any way to use nerve gas that makes it easier to kidnap somebody? I think something like knockout gas would be more useful to kidnappers).
One alternative that might make a bit more sense is having a plainclothes soldier activate the device in something like a subway car, which would give you more flexibility in potential villains. Either way, it sounds like there are least a few military people in your story that are up to their necks in serious criminal/treasonous activity, so you might want to explain why they’re willing to go to such extreme methods to test it on innocents.
I’d recommend saving the presidential kidnapping plot for the climax. I think it would make the origin story (explaining how they get their powers) a bit unwieldy.
*If it’s meant as a weapon (i.e. to damage people), I would recommend not calling it a biological enhancer because that sounds like something friendly that only does good things. I think the word “mutagen” conveys the hostile intent a bit better.
[Disclaimer for our new Secret Service reader: this discussion is purely fictional and I am virtually certain the writing advice here would not be operationally useful to would-be assassins or kidnappers.]
Do you think tht a situation where terrorists gain control of advanced weaponry in a public place could work as a good way to introduce the superheros to the world.
Yeah, I think that could work. If the superheroes first meet each other while converging on the terrorists, I think that could make for a dramatic introduction. Or maybe they already know each other and this is their first real mission.
…
What is the goal of the terrorists? One option is a goal that somehow relates to what the villain is trying to accomplish. If the terrorists are only one piece of the bigger puzzle, that will help keep your plot coherent.
The terrorists are the Al-Queda ones of to day and their whole goal is to escape with the stolen weapons. They don’t come in after that. Although I could have them be a part of the villians plan. Like in Superman: The Movie. Lex Luthor already had plans to distroy part of California, then he had to modify his plans because of Superman.
Well my thinking was the terrorist stumbled across an oppurtunity to get control of an extremely dangerous nerve gas. They think its a nerve gas but really its a bio enhancer. They think its a weapon but really the military uses it to create weapons. Does that make sense? Their whole plan is to use it on the president and any civilians present. However the military knows its true purpose and they orchestrated the whole scenario. The only reason i said bio enhancer is because I know and you guys know what it really is because i told you. But when i write it I would not call it that.
But I do like the idea of someone setting it off in a subway car so i think I may use that. Thanx.
Ok so what if the soldier that sets the device is angry at the Government/military so he is the the one who triggers the device on the train.
I been throwing ideas around about Marc’s power and i have some ideas. I was thinking the gas could give him a superhuman anatomy Some examples would be:
1)multiple hearts, impenetrable heart and blood vessels, hyperelastic heart and blood vessels, etc. something dealing with heart
2) Double nerves, hyperelectric nerves, or hyperelastic nerves, etc.
3) superhuman senses
I sort of like 2 hyperelastic hearts as well as hyperelastic blood vessels. I think those two make a good combo.
let me know what you guys think? Thanx
Hey ive been thinking of some superhero ideas.
1. The superhero has a unique chemical in his brain which they can release into their blood stream and into their muscels increaseing the superheros strength and endurence to superhuman levels…but the chemical has a side effect which makes the superhero increasingly aggressive over certain periods of time and the amount released, maybe even transform into something more than a human.
2. The superhero can negate other powers if they are physical power the superhero still gets hit but as if it was average human strength, if the power is a ranged power e.g. a concussive beam, lightening, fire etc it would reflect off the superhero, the superhero could even channel the power back at the user or store it for some other time…but to much negateing and channeling other powers will make the superhero increasingly dizzy untill they become unconscious perhaps even die.
“1) multiple hearts, impenetrable heart and blood vessels, hyperelastic heart and blood vessels, etc. something dealing with heart” — allowing him to do what, exactly?
“2) Double nerves, hyperelectric nerves, or hyperelastic nerves, etc.” Again, I’m not sure what exactly having double nerves would let him do. Fast reflexes? Electric powers? Immunity to pain? Superintelligence? Psychic stuff? (I suppose you might be able to explain some psychic powers in terms of being able to read and/or influence and/or control the electrical impulses of another person’s brain).
3) superhuman senses — this is okay, but I’d recommend it as a supplemental power because it probably won’t make for very interesting fight scenes on its own.
No problem, Jammyj. As for your comment…
I like the idea that using his powers come with a cost, which he voluntarily takes on (instead of, say, the Hulk, which is usually an involuntary transformation). I’m not sure whether you’re doing a comic book, but if you are, one potential area for concern would be whether strength and endurance will give you enough interesting visuals to work with. If you’re doing a novel, I think that’d be less of a problem, but even so you might want to give him a minor, more exotic power to help keep his fight scenes from getting monotonous.
I feel that the power negation/channeling ability would make the character maybe a bit too limited, particularly if the character is a solo hero rather than just one guy on a team. Will the character be able to do anything in a situation that doesn’t involve fighting a superpowered bad guy? (For example, rescuing somebody from a wreck or burning building, or fighting unpowered bank robbers, or finding a stolen MacGuffin, or stopping a building from collapsing, or whatever). I think it worked a bit better for X-Men’s Rogue because she was just a teammate, so she could be off on the sidelines in a situation where she couldn’t steal a power from a villain. (Alternately, in some situations she contributed by stealing the power of an injured or otherwise unavailable hero). Alternately, maybe the character’s powers are only useful in terms of fighting supervillains, and he has to rely on his wits/training/weapons/whatever to deal with everything else.
Thanks you gave me an idea the two together could make a team and when the hero with the superstrength gets too angry the other superhero can help him calm down by channeling the heros powers.
Also for visuals maybe becuase of the chemical the heros veins and arteries appear to be on top of his skin also he could become red all over because of the chemical too.
Hey guys. I came up with a really cool superhero idea.
20 years ago almost all the superheros were wiped out.
Zane Wyatt is a 15 year old with superstrength who has just moved to Sunridge City to live with his dad Who is one of the higher ups in the local police department.
Erik Mason is the lead villian and can shoot fire from his hands and eyes He cannot go in the pool or be outside when it rains becauswe he can’t use his powers when he’s wet.
Zane is accidentally discovered by Harry Carson and he takes him to meet Jan Mathers a disgraced PI who has superspeed. Jan seends Zane and Harry out on cases and they soon discover the source of the latest superhero boom
Hey its me again I was thinking of very different power. The heros power comes from some sort of demon/spirit/dark energy/alien symbiote…(havent decided yet) that dwells inside the hero. It appears on his skin as tattoos of animals on the heros skin. As they are alive they can move around his body, the hero can even make the “tattoos” leave his body and use them to aid him in his strength, endruance, flight, speed, all the hero sences and even in combat. The power comes with a cost to much use of the power could drain the heros stamina making the hero fatigue, another idea was that the hero could lose controll of the “tattoos” or mabye the heros “tattoos” begin to engolf the hero turing them into a demon/spirit/dark energy/alien symbiote (which ever i decide the tattoos are made of.)
That sounds interesting.
).
…
Would he have a secret identity? If so, the moving tattoos might make it tricky for him to keep the identity secret. (He could probably mostly deal with that by wearing long clothes even in hot weather, but it would make having a romantic relationship rather tricky
Its me once again I have been thinking of yet another superhero power. This heros power is inspired by the phenomena “spontaneous human combustion” Spontaneous human combustion (SHC) is a name used to describe alleged cases of the burning of a living human body without an apparent external source of ignition. Becuase this phenomena I thought that it would be a great to use becuase I could make up how it happens. The heros power is to combust, when the hero dose they transform into fire proof form which looks like the hero is severely burnt however the hero can not be harm by their own fire. The hero can throw fire balls, jets of fire, create a barrier of fire around them, the hero can explode the fire barrier outwards, the hero can shot fire out at the ground to increase his jumping distance but can not fly like “the human torch” but can turn the power on using their mind. The down side is that the heros fire like all fires needs oxygen to work so he couls not fight underwater or in space or at high altitudes.
Hello Jammy,
I think your idea is good, but people may still confuse your character with the Human Torch because they have such similar abilities. Also, I’m not sure what the severely burned aspect is supposed to look like Freddy Kreuger comes to mind.
But if he looks like a burning person I’m thinking Human Torch. I’d recommend making sure your hero has his own stylish look to set him apart from other pyromancers.
Also, here’s a question. How effective would a wall of fire really be for defense? It’s not tangible, it’s just hot. I could see it stopping a person, but what about a speeding bullet or a superfast enemy? Unless the wall was extremely hot how could it stop sppedy things?
Hello Ro,
I’m going to agree with B. Mac that you probably don’t need to name this ability. You could probably use “Body Supremacy” as a name for the training (if it is a type of training). Hmm, maybe if you wrote up a short example, maybe a paragraph, in which the ability is used I could understand and help brainstorm names.
What’s the advice on creating your own fictional element, material, isotope or atomic particle. My story has humanity (well a private company) mining one comet, a presence on the Moon and Mars. I suspect the whole ‘this material is the strongest known to man! and could easily cut through our toughest metal’ is kind of boring now?
Thoughts welcomed.
“What’s the advice on creating your own fictional element, material, isotope or atomic particle.” Hmm. If it’s really important to the story, I’d recommend giving it a brief origin of its own. For example, Ironman 2 had a rather hilariously destructive scene where Tony creates a replacement for palladium for the first time.
I think having it fit the mood of the piece helps, too. The MacGuffin mineral in Avatar is called “unobtainium,” which is a geeky hat-tip to the TV tropes concept of the same name. I felt the name was goofy and out-of-place in a movie that otherwise treated itself seriously. (Too seriously, I think, but James Cameron didn’t ask me and I think he’s pretty happy with how it turned out).
I vaguely remember a wacky story where a mad scientist made rockets tipped with explodium. I think that fit the style of the piece and was pretty funny. Incidentally, “Made of Explodium” is itself a TV Tropes page.
a guy named Devin Dash has the ability to manipulate all forms of energy( electricity, heat, light etc) he wakes up from a coma in a city called New Fenix. The city is controlled by a militia group named The Legion, which is led by a man named Murdock. Murdock and The Legion are all about “human purity” and they want to get rid of all the non-humans running around New Fenix by any means. Devin Dash does not like this and he begins to rebel againist Murdock and The Legion.
ANY SUGGESTIONS????????
i need help coming up with a weakness for Devin Dash
Devin can also absorb a non-humans energy to mimic their powers
Devin has a “hidden potential” which allows him to fully generate & have control over the 7 elements ( fire, earth,water, electricity, wind, darkness and light)
Maybe Devin needs to be in proximity of a source of what he wants to control. The more exotic or the less there is for him to manipulate into something useful exhausts him. Maybe if there is a lot of it, the energy overwhelms him/the more difficult it is for him to control.
I want the superhero from the story I’m writing to have entropy-based powers, but I don’t wanna be a subject to failed physics. This is what I’ve come up with;
He is able to force entropy on any kind of matter, altough it is easier on solids. He then is able to absorb the energy released from deconstruction and apply it for different means, like blasts. He is able to reconstruct the object entirely if he does not use any of the energy produced. He is able to recnostruct the object partially and with the energy absorbed make the object a projectile (this can be used for flight as well). He is able to augment the mass in himself and/or other objects by moving the energy from one to the other (sort of like E=MC²). He is able to use his power through any part of his skin. The problems are that he is loosing control of the powers, deconstructing food and oxygen at a much latter stage, also radiation poisoning from deconstructing matter. His imminent death is one of his main motivations in the story.
What does mentaly generated weaponery mean?
Weapons created by a superpower. I think they’re typically melee weapons wielded by the character. (See Youngblood‘s Knightsabre and Rifts Cyber-Knights, etc).
Sometimes they’re weapons that are mentally manipulated at a distance by the character, like Green Lantern’s projected weaponry. (Picture courtesy of Superhero Universe).
Rarely, they’re semi-intelligent floating weapons that fight on their own.
what would you be able to do if you had an ability like Elemental Absorbtion & Elemental Mimicry????
What do you mean by elemental mimicry?
Hmm, elemental mimicry and absorption…
I’m thinking You’d be able to absorb any of the four* elements and take on their properties. The heat and brightness of fire, the versatility and fluidity of water, the incorporeality and sharpness of wind, and the solidity and strength of earth would be at the person’s disposal. I don’t think they would be able to make their attacks projectile, but with enough fancy explanation I’m sure you could.
*There are other things that are considered elements though:
Lightning
Metal
Wood
Aether (my personal favorite)
Light
Darkness
But not ice, ice is not it’s own element it’s a combination of elements.
How exactly do you plan out a character and his powers. I really need steps on how to develop my hero. I want him to be magic based but I don’t understand the nature/function of magic. Please help me.
what is aether? and what could i do with wood?
Aether is the fifth element. It’s pretty much outer space and all it’s cosmic energy.There is no exact definition of its use, but I suspect it would act as a great energy source like The Silver Surfer and his cosmic abilities or it’s connected to things like control over gravity, force, and orbit. I like it because it’s open to the rules of my imagination.
I think wood, by extension, means plant life. So I’m guessing some degree of control over plants. I’m not sure on this one, though.
“How exactly do you plan out a character and his powers? I really need steps on how to develop my hero.”
Well, if I had to make steps I suppose it would go something like:
- Define a personality (a series of character traits or an archetype). Check this
- Give them a flaw and other traits to make them fresh/original/your own.
- Fill in other details of the character i.e. age, ethnicity, appearance (if it’s relevant), etc
- Give him a role in society i.e. a job, status, etc
As for their power, I think that’s just something you come up with and add to your character. If you wanna be cheesy (which is okay sometimes) you can have the power of abilities relate to their personality.
Magic is wonky in that it’s very open to interpretation. There can be a number of things that you can say attribute to the nature of magic. Spirits, demons, artifacts, natural energies, etc. But generally I think the nature of magic is to tap into a power to give one abilities they wouldn’t have within their physical limits. The function is anything you’d do with magic i.e. throw a firebolt, create a portal, summon a creature, scare a nun, etc.
What do you think?
Actually, characters who manipulate ‘wood’ control all plant life. (Why the Chinese couldn’t just say ‘plants’ escapes me. But whatever.)
if i have color & ink manipulation, what can i do?
Dark_Minion: It depends on what you mean. If you mean, say, drawing something and the drawing coming to life, you have infinite possibilities but your character may come off as overpowered. Literal control over ink? I suppose it’d be like a much more limited version of hydrokinesis. Control over color itself would be difficult to use well in combat, I think.
- Wings
“if i have color & ink manipulation, what can i do?” Well, it’s your story. You tell me.
If I were writing a story about someone with that power, some things that come to mind would include:
–visual illusions (a la Mysterio)– he wouldn’t be able to do anything with sound, though, which probably makes it more interesting than Mysterio.
–camouflage
–maybe some minor Green Lantern-like powers with the ink, like the ability to draw things that come alive. For a variation on GL powers that strikes me as more interesting, maybe the ability to create inanimate objects that he has to use himself.
–maybe the ability to slightly alter reality* by drawing things. For example, if you’re trapped in a room, maybe you can draw a door.
–Maybe he can do some stuff with ink. Slow people down with a flood of ink gunk? Use ink as a fire-starter? Defend law and order by garishly recoloring people’s pants pockets?
*As a rule, I think any power with “reality” in it is usually a disaster because the limits are so hard to define, but I included it just to brainstorm.
Multi-colored energy blasts would work, too.
My character would have the ability to summon his tattoos, alter colors, and summon drawings to life. But I’m having trouble with a weakness and a limit to his powers.
Dark Minion, what happens when one of his drawings or tattoos is killed. You could have a biological link so that when his creations are destroyed it saps his energy. Maybe, the more things he summons, the more he has to concentrate and the weaker his creations are.
Alternatively, He (Shade? Wasn’t it?) doesn’t seem to be invuinerable so it doesn’t really matter if he has a concrete weakness. Showtime, for example, doesn’t have an explicit weakness, but his pheromones can be neutralized making him nearly powerless. However, he can just as well be overwhelmed by an opponent strength or tactic. As long as he can be challenged in a dramatic manner a weakness doesn’t really matter.
Have you seen our Superhero Weaknesses and Vulnerabilities category, Dark Minion?
I agree with RB that it matters more that the character is challenged than how he is challenged. However, giving the character a weakness like Kryptonite is probably not your best option, I feel.
a biological link makes sense…….if anything he summons gets destroyed he will feel that pain
shade is not invulnerble. you are right…. i mean he can get stabbed, shot, beaten to death, die in a explosion. without shade’s ink and other tools he is useless…shade without his ink is basically like GL without his ring.
anarchy is more like a rebel because he thinks any kind of higher authority abuses their power and manipulates the people, so he feels that the people should rebel as well against cops government or whatever
Btw to the guy way on top that said something about a guy having elasticity powers through eating some radioactive, I’d to say that that kinda theme is a bit taken.
A Japanese Manga has a main character that has elastic/ rubber powers and heck does use them in cool ways, and he gained them by eating a legendary devil fruit (fruit’s in the series that are said to be parts of the devil or his powers those who eat them gain the power of each fruit, each fruit contains a certain power… They have names like the Gum Gum fruit and yes people can only have on fruit) so bro that kinda ruins your idea cos some crazy fan might think you’re ripping off One Piece off (the series name), heck I wouldn’t feel surprised if it were your inspiration, cos they sound to conveniently alike. Or is that just me?
“A man and his father are in a lab one friday night cleaning up. Three drug addicts storm into the lab with shotguns demanding money. The man, Jay Wesson, and his father refuse to give them the money so one of the drug dealers knocked out the father with the shotgun and one shoots Jay in the shoulder. As the addicts leave they set the lab on fire. Jay is still injured so he tries he best to pick up his dad so they can escape the burning lab. Still weak from the gunshot Jay collapses on the floor. Meanwhile chemicals that were on the table were now falling on Jay’s body. Jay’s dad wakes up and picks him up and escape the lab as it explodes behind them. Three months later…….to make a long story short: after he awakes from his 3 month coma Jay finds out that he can manipulate & create fire psionically. He decides to use his newfound power for good and so he became Flare. Any suggestions please?”
–The antagonists here seem pretty faceless. It might help to use someone a bit more important to the plot. (If not the main villain, perhaps somebody that works for the main villain or is connected to him in some way).
–Umm, why would they have money in a lab? It might be more believable if the drug addicts hit the lab looking for stuff to get high off of.
–What’s the significance of the father in the scene? (IE: unless the father plays an important role, I would recommend removing him here so that the hero is more central).
–It seems unclear whether Jay or his father is more badly injured. First, it seems like Jay’s father is knocked out. Then Jay tries to carry his unconscious father but collapses. Then Jay’s father wakes up and picks up Jay. I’d recommend keeping this more consistent. Maybe something like Jay carries his unconscious father out of the lab, but is exposed to the chemicals in the process. He passes out right outside of the building (which means that he, not his father, does most of the work in the scene).
Here’s a superpower I thought up for one of my characters: He can make himself completely flat, becoming a one-atom-thick silhouette of himself. He can then be folded into any shape (he can’t fold himself, but he can unfold himself). While in flat form, his edges are extremely sharp, and can cut through almost anything, but he is also very light and fragile.
Thoughts?
MH,
That powers sounds like a double-edged sword. While it could be extremely effective for evading attacks and combat, if he got hit wouldn’t he come apart easily? I’m not sure, quantam physics isn’t really my specialty.
Although, if you have enough writer know-how you can spin up a reason why he doesn’t get obliterated. I think the power is interesting. I’d like to see it in action.
I’m trying to come up with a character that can control space. I’d like some general idea bouncing. Off back, I figured he’d be pretty overpowered. In dangerous situations he could easily warp the problem away or warp away from the problem or warp to the problem, if need be, without going through mooks. So I tried moving some of the extreme things and brought it down to a set I think could be workable, if not longwinded.
But grooming will come later.
- Control over one’s own gravitational aura: The character could use this to fly, but as limitations, doing so is quickly taxing. Instead I’m seeing some thing super leaps. Also, the character would be protected by a repulsion field that weaken incoming attacks and enhancing his own attacks.
- Repulsion and gravitation at a limited range.
- Limited matter extension: He can’t expand matter for some reason I would cover with a joke, but he can extend it. Like extending a kitchen knife to use as a sword. However, extending thing does not increase their constitution so he’d have to extend things made of sturdy material.
What do you think? Too much? Too convoluted? If I were ever to explain this in-story I’d probably do something like a training scenario and people are analyzing his abilities. That way explanations will seem warranted.
I think it could work. The three uses you named seem interesting and the character will probably be pretty easy to challenge.
However, the power will probably take a fair bit of explanation. I don’t think that would be an insurmountable challenge for a major character, particularly the lead, but I think it might not be worthwhile on a minor one.
There may also be some potential for confusion. Will your readers understand the distinction between expanding and extending matter? I like the idea of it only working on sturdy materials–it feels like a very realistic restriction on the power.
Indeed. I didn’t want to include expansion because I think it opens his powers up in a way I didn’t want it to go. I was going to qualify it saying that expansion of matter has the potential to create rifts in space and that extension is a safer alternative.
Yeah. I usually save the exotics for my leads. This one is Finesse. My sides usually have powers that need little to no explanation. I’m up for the challenge, though.
I’m making this character for a world I’m building. I have no idea of the medium I want the story to be in, but my working title is Sapien Plus. It’s basically about a universe in which a Higher Intelligence contacts Earth after the planet unites to stop a crisis. As reward the H. I. boosts humanity’s’ innate abilities; our ability to break down mental barriers and directly affect reality with one’s mind. This ability manifests itself differently for everyone.
Also, the H. I. basically gives Earth a solution for the energy problem at the cost that they must use their newly acquired skills and resources to protect the bonds that the H. I. has made with other planets. Of course, there are those that would seek to use their gifts to overpower the H. I. And so, there are a group of particularly enlightened individuals who use their abilities to protect Earth and the H. I.’s mission, Finesse being one of them.
What do you think? I’m need help fleshing out idea.
Hmm. I’ve noticed that this keeps happening when I’m the last to post a comment. My name and comment won’t show up on the recent comments. I’m not sure if it’s just my computer or if the name ‘Ragged Boy’ has some kind of jamming code.
[Update: Now they have appeared in the recent comment widget. Woohoo!]
I just saw unbreakable, and it got me thinking, do the villains powers HAVE to be the opposite of the heroes?
No, but I think it’s helpful if the powers are distinct enough to make each fighter stand out. (Alternately, perhaps they have similar powers but totally different styles of combat?)
So, for example, if one character is a superstrong brawler like the Hulk, I’d generally recommend trying something like a villain more based on finesse and/or agility or psychic and/or mental abilities or maybe some sort of ranged combat because there are only so many ways to show two Hulk-like or Superman-like characters going at it. (The only thing worse than one flying brick is two?) On the other hand, I think finesse vs. finesse or psychic vs. psychic has more promise.
This character I’m working on called Aden is from the past; about 300 million to 250 mill years back when Pangea existed (the super continent) along with the super ocean
Panthalassa.
Back then people used Sorcery along with technology, pretty much everybody knows magic. And there’s a great tournament to that grants the winner access to the sword of fate, a legendary blade held by a powerful tribe, the winner is given the blade and with it he or she can decide the fate of anything; even the world with a swing of the blade or some say you just have to desire something while holding it and it will come true.
Aden has a special kind of magic called Chimera magic, it allows the user the ability to gain certain unique powers based on the animal that they train to copy. Aden has the power of an ancient Griffin, giving him superhuman strength, super speed, incredible eyesight and he eventually gains the ability to fly.
I feel like the idea is really lame, but meh, I was wondering what it was like to other people…
As far as premises go, it sounds okay, Awale. If you executed it well (for example, by giving Aden a fleshed-out personality), I think it could be interesting.
I’ve sorta been thinking about that idea and it would be tough to execute so I may leave it alone, my original idea of him being trained in the art of jungle kung fu would work.
Originally I planned for him to be a a prince whose birth father the Sultan of a lost kingdom sent him and his siblings away to Egypt when their country was seized by a powerful kingdom called the lost.
The Pharaoh took them in as his own, thus they’re the four royals, royalty to both Egypt and their homeland. (ancient Egypt btw), as planned by their father the Pharaoh sends them across the world to train in various places, with various people.
Aden was raised to the age of 12 by slaves, so he could learn humility since he would act as his older brother Kazim’s follower or general. He becomes humble but mostly he’s the adventure loving, cocky and leader type, so he goes against their plans and his training makes him stronger than Kazim, causing some issues.
He trains and gains an affinity for the Lion, he encounters a legendary Lion called the Nemean Lion, he befriends it but eventually in the hour of its death he absorbs its spirit in an orb form. Giving him the ability to summon a unique aura in any part of his body, this aura immitates the Lions power but even more immensely,
It also shields him cos the nemean Lion had the power of invulnerability to physical attacks but its weakness that allowed hercules to kill it was strangulation and what not. He isn’t good enough so he summons the aura in a certain part he wants to defend and his shield is weak so certain enemies plow through it easily.
Sound like a cool power.
Along with that he would have his friends;
Shift
Blake
Domino
Chas
All of which have abilities like him. Him and his siblings come back to free their kingdom. But mostly Aden isn’t the main character, during the saving their kingdom part I would like to make Kazim the main character or all four of them equally important. After that the story would turn more into Aden in fact completely towards him.
But in the start the readers won’t be able to tell who’s the main as all four of them seem equal in significance.
I’ve seen this series called Fairy Tail pull off a more than one main kinda story, heck alot of stories do; X-men, the Avengers (not focused on one person but a whole group)
Note; spirit orbs were a concept in my very first comic where mythical creatures died and went to a pool where their spirits became spirit orbs, from there they would wait and eventually sync with a human who had an evolved soul… Giving the human their powers, these people would be called Aura.
Concept is different now, very different I hope since now they don’t go to evolved soul humans but to anyone whose body can handle them, it’s a rare magic that is said to be extremely powerful if achieved.
I have domino and Chas already sketched they’re also some old characters well not old but I intended for them to be in another story as the mains teamates…
Chas
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/180/8/1/Contest_Submission_by_dragon77070.png
Domino
http://i523.photobucket.com/albums/w357/Aizadara/AuraChronicles.jpg?t=1287769736
They were favour or request drawings, two of my friends made ‘em (each made on)…
I can draw myself but I wans’t good enough to do full body pieces or at least that good so I asked them at the time.
Alright fellas, I’m putting my cards on the table. I need help, but in order to help I need to divulge some information about the project I’m currently working on. This is the creation and development of an entire comic book universe. Here’s my problem. I’ve got so many ideas and good characters that I don’t know where to start. I’ve got ‘mutants’, suits of powered armor, people manipulating magic and even some aliens thrown in the mix. I guess what I’m asking is how can I focus on an idea long enough to begin the writing process. And should I be worried about the various types of characters I’ve got or should I embrace the diversity. Building a universe is new to me and it’s still a bit daunting. I just need some friendly advice is all. If you guys need more then the given information, just let me know ok?
I think you’re gonna need to end up either cutting or combining some of the factions together for coherency. Otherwise, it’ll get really convoluted. Is there any particular reason the magic manipulators can’t be a part of the mutants while the power suits are on the alien side?
I suppose not. Other then I created them to actually be seperate. All though combining the powered suits with the aliens might be a good idea. But I can’t combine the mutants or the magic manipulators with anything. They are their own concepts, you know?
If we’re talking about a comic book series, it may help to introduce the factions gradually. Maybe the first arc (3-6 issues) focuses on introducing 1-2 of the groups or characters, and then the next arc focuses on mixing a new type of character into the fray, etc.
What is your goal for having many of these types of characters? (Hopefully something beyond variety for its own sake–perhaps there’s a lot of conflict between these characters based on their different perspectives/skillsets even though they may be on the same side).
For stylistic coherence, it may help to make the magic-users the aliens. That would be one way you could work in quasi-magical effects without inserting straight-up fantasy elements like wizards or witches. For a first-time author, I wouldn’t recommend mixing fantasy and high sci-fi. (Also, I think Western comic books with magical characters have a harder time finding an audience*, so publishers might be somewhat less receptive).
*The target audience for American/European comic books is usually men aged ~18-30, who tend not to be terribly receptive to fantasy. For more on selling magical superheroes, please see this article.
I appreciate your words very much B. Mac. I believe I have crafted my magic users to be relateable and not overly-powerful. I went for a smaller scale then usual magic allows. What I mean is that, for the most part, I used a colored magic system. Each magic contains a specific THING that it manipulates and cannot manipulate anything else. Things like elements, alchemy and summoning. That being said, each magic user is capable of learning and executing only as many spells as their physical and magical stamina holds out. Their are people that are born who are naturals at a specific color and dabble very little into the other colors if at all. So hopefully this is a good way to execute magic. It took me a while to come up with what I have affectionately dubbed ‘street magic’.
I’m not sure the main issue is relatability, although that’s probably part of it. I think it’s more an issue of genre preference among the people that frequent comic book stores. By and large, I think the people (mainly men aged 18-30) that set foot in comic book stores are not as keen on fantasy.
I think the underwhelming sales of Zantanna, Captain Britain, Dr. Strange and probably Hellboy are the norm for magical superheroes in Western comic books. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a notable exception that may be uniquely successful because it’s more of an urban fantasy than a superhero story, although it definitely has some elements of a superhero story. (Also, the TV tie-in helps draw in readers that are new to comic books).
…
I think that magical superheroes tend to do better in other media, notably television. Men 18-30 are a less important audience bloc in most other media.
I agree with B Mac. If you decide to introduce them gradually, make them their own seperate threats before they band together. For example, the mutants and magic users are defeated by the powersuited aliens. They’re so powerful that the two enemies need to put their differences aside and work together to stop the aliens. Of course, it doesn’t have to be this setup, but something to make them all more distinct and relatable.
Also, B Mac, can I send you the revised chapters along with an additional 2-4 chapters?
Would this power be too overpowered for an important character;
It allows the user to completely alter the constitution of any substance, such as changing its state of matter or alter it’s shape form or density. With a simple touch, the character was originally someone that would be a big time and strong villain that the main wouldn’t be able to take on at all… But I plan to give his powers to Aden’s (main character) friend and teammate; Shift who originally could control the density, velocity and momentum of an object at a molecular level.
I’m combining Shift with an old character of mine who had telekinetic powers, the character lacked arms (he wasn’t born with them) yet he was killer with a blade, two blades basically attached to him and they twist like crazy as he spins in a spiral and rips his enemy apart while in the air. But Now I plan to give him that power I mentioned earlier but he basically manipulates his own structure and constitution (with the right materials he can even use that power to change the very real constitution of his body and combine with metals or liquids of various kinds)
I’ve been thinking hard about original powers and I think this one helps, so is it overpowered and which way do you think it should manifest in him?
“Shift who originally could control the density, velocity and momentum of an object at a molecular level.” I’m pretty sure I can see how controlling the density of an object could be useful, but I’m not quite seeing what you mean by controlling the velocity and/or momentum of an object’s molecules. What’s coming to my mind is “telekinesis,” but I don’t think that’s what you mean.
I don’t think these abilities sound overpowered. It doesn’t sound like you’d have to bend over backwards or use contrivances to challenge these characters.
It’s kinda like he increases it’s speed… when it comes to velocity and momentum…
Thanks for the quick reply bro
.
Hey everyone, I’m having difficulty figuring what tense to write in because of my hero’s powers. She can see parts of the future in her dreams, so what tense would I write in if she’d having the dream, but then wakes up to realize it was a dream?
ie. **“Oh look, your little girlfriend is protecting you” the man sneered into the student’s ear as he pressed the gun deeper into his temple, “Bad move, kid” And with that he pulled the trigger.**
Stella’s eyes shot open as pain ricocheted inside her skull.
“Another dream?” Josh questioned; Stella nodded weakly.
Would the tense be present or past, or even super past? (sorry, that’s what my English teacher calls it)
Thanks in advance!
I would suggest, if you are writing in past tense, continue to write in past tense during the dream. For the character, it’s happening the same time as the rest of the story.
Of course, if she were aware at the time that it was a preminition, that could be something totally different.
Those are my thoughts, others may say differently.
I agree with Sean. If the story is mostly in the past tense and the character doesn’t know they’re dreams as they’re happening, I think the past tense would feel truest to the narrator’s perspective. (Possible exception: the character is narrating the story looking back, and she knows now that they were dreams, but did not know it as they happened).
…
PS: Could you give an example of super past? I’m not familiar with that phrase.
So to clarify, I should write the dreams in the past tense, but the rest of the story in the present?
And B. Mac- The super past (or past perfect) is an event that happened in the past and ended in the past.
ie. – I had been to the U.S once before.
– We had had that car for ten years before it broke down.
Hope that makes sense (sorry if it doesn’t, I stink at explaining stuff)
Major thanks to the both of you!
Depending on narrator’s perspective, assuming that as the dreams are taking place, the character is unaware that they are dreams, then the dreams should be written in the same tense as the rest of the story.
B. Mac’s exception is this (and looks unlikely from what you’ve written) – if you are writing the story from the dreamer’s perspective (first person past tense) and she is now aware that the dreams were visions of the future those should be written in future perfect (I think that’s the correct term, ie: “I saw that Sean was going to become a best selling author”).
[My dreams are not always direct reflections of the future.]
Yeah, Sean is right. I would recommend past tense for the story and past tense for the dreams.
Sean, your dream may be right, too. In contrast, I dreamed that the Saints would beat the Vikings 46-40 in the NFL season opener. The Saints actually won ~14-10. (Latest dream: the Bears blow out the Packers in the World Series, which is impossible in so many ways I don’t even know where to begin. Like I’d get caught dead watching the World Series!).
Let’s do something somewhat on topic – imagine a world where superpowers are commonplace (say 50% of the population), how would this affect professional sports?
I imagine there’d be segregated leagues, some open to only people with supernatural abilities and others open to only regular athletes. (Since Larry Fitzgerald is an unclear case, they’d let him pick).
If the proportion of people with powers were smaller, like 5%, I think the professional leagues would be limited to regular people for competitive reasons. A few superpowered people might still try sneaking into the pros. Discerning fans have often wondered as much about Larry Freakshow, Kurt “The Bagman” Warner (who bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain superpowered serial killer), the Nigerian Nightmare and T-Bone, among others.
That’s what I was thinking too. I just wanted outside insight.
Next question – would the superhuman league get better ratings than the NFL?
Would the superleague get better ratings than the NFL? I think it could plausibly go either way.
If you wanted people to be more interested in regular competition, you could draw on…
–Superpowered sports would put a preposterous premium on what you’re born with rather than how hard you work or how smart you are. I think one of the major appeals of sports (especially football) is the idea that every team has a chance of winning any given game. But if your guys were born with crappy superpowers, do you really have a chance?
–Most fans feel that steroids are unacceptable because they give some players an unfair advantage and cheapen the history of the game (records and the like). Letting superpowered people into the game would be even worse. It would be a disgrace if Brett Favre’s or Cal Ripken’s incredible start streaks were broken by someone that was actually invulnerable. It’s not a fair competition.
–Some superpowers would make the game extremely uninteresting/uncompetitive. “Touchdown #12 for Speedy! Scoring drive: 1 play, 95 yards, :02.”
–Some superpowers would make the game hard to officiate. How do you call 12 men on the field if one of them is the Invisible Man?
–I think that most professional sports have some degree of relatability, like the hometown heroes, the Kurt Warner rags-to-riches success stories, heroes from the hood, etc. I think that superpowered athletes would have less relatability to fans without superpowers. Also, even superpowered fans might have trouble relating to freaky athletes. If you’re a fan like Superman, how much do you have in common with the victim of a horrible transformation like Reptile or Beast?
–The potential for severe injuries would probably concern fans, the government and TV stations. It’s hard enough to avoid injuries as it is. Add superpowers and you might end up broadcasting an on-field fatality to tens of millions of viewers. I don’t think the FCC would be amused.
If you wanted people to be more drawn to supernatural competition, you could go with…
–Supernatural competition has more variety? Each new team will have superpowers you haven’t faced this season. In contrast, if you’ve played the Jets, wouldn’t a game against the Ravens feel sort of stale? (Both have a strong run, strong defense and an okay pass attack). There’s absolutely no difference between the Bills and teams that are relentlessly bad at everything.
–More spectacular play. Why do so many more people watch professional ball games than college ball or high school ball? The players are more capable and the plays are more incredible. With superpowers, you get all that and more.
–Unlike steroids abusers, most superpowered players didn’t bend the rules of the game to get their powers. Fans of a super-league might argue that letting someone born with superpowers play is just as honest and natural as a basketball player having a competitive advantage because he was born tall.
I think nonpowered people would generally prefer nonpowered play, and powered people would mostly prefer powered play. In a country that’s half-and-half, I think both leagues would draw roughly even levels of fan interest.
However, feel free to do whatever you feel your story calls for. If a major theme of the story is that superhumans are treated as invisible even though they’re like 50% of the country, then it’d be thematically helpful if nonpowered sports leagues were the only game in town.
Hello again, so my problem this time is my teleporting character (or course)
I need to give her a restriction so her power doesn’t dominate and ruin the plot (she’s not the protagonist).
As well, I can’t think of a creative way to write someone teleporting. I really don’t want to have to write “..as she teleported” or “…she teleported into the room” for my entire novel.
Is there a way to write creative teleportation?
Major thanks in advance!
One possibility would that there are limits to how quickly she can teleport or how reliable her power is if she can’t concentrate. If she has to wait a second or two before teleporting, it’d be harder for her to dominate a fight on her own.
The first time the character appears in a scene, I think it’s more important to be pretty clear that she teleports in. (One way you could liven that up beyond “she teleported into the room” is to describe some unusual side-effect of her teleportation–maybe her teleportations send a chilly breeze throughout the room or have a distinctive smell or otherwise affect other people in the room). However, after that, I think you can be a bit more stylized because readers will know she’s the teleporter, so you could describe her kicking one character and then punching another and kicking a third and kneeing a fourth in one fluid motion and it’d be pretty clear she was teleporting from one opponent to the next even if you didn’t explicitly say so.
Ok, I use the term Bamf as a verb for teleportation, but this probably won’t work unless you are doing a very slapstick comedy.
Also, limitations for teleportation are seemingly endless. I had a character once who had to concentrate, sending hist asteral projection to the location first before his body could join. Nightcrawler can’t teleport unless he can see the place he’s teleporting to because otherwise he might wind up in a wall (ouch). In Harry Potter, the teleportation spell had the dangerous side affect of leaving your limbs behind.
As for stylistic ways of writing the teleportation – from a scientific stand point there is a great one I feel. When entering a location through teleportation, the character would essentially be displacing his volume in oxygen which could easily explain the breeze B.Mac mentions above. When you telelport out of a location, you basically create a human size hole where air would immediately rush to fill, which would create some kind of noise, realistally probably like the pop of a champagne bottle being opened.
Thanks for those ideas, they’re better than I would have thought of
A friend of mine suggested (after reading B. Mac’s post) that the person leaves a smell when she teleports, but the smell reflects how she’s feeling.
IE- When she’s happy, with would be crisp and clean (like the clothes just came out of the dryer smell)
Or when she’s angry, it would be like sulfur, or something putrid like that.
I think overall it’s a cool concept, but I’m afraid it might confuse and/or throw off the
reader some how
What’s the happy medium?
Well, back to the Nightcrawler. He originally generated the sulfur smell every time he teleported (tied in with his devil persona I believe). It’s an interesting concept, however, I feel it’d be hard to explain. I think you should think of how the character gained her powers and whether or not the idea of the smell would play in to that. It’s a good idea of a way to add depth to the characters abilities but also you need to think then that everytime the character teleports there would be some smell associated with it.
My two biggest concerns would be: 1 – Is it something that’s going to be overwhelming so that it’s noticable? 2 – Am I going to be able to make sure the scents are associated with the teleportation in general (and will the protagonist characters also make the connection – which they probably should, but would it hurt your story if they were always able to know when she arrived or left thanks to the sudden aroma)?
“The person leaves a smell when she teleports, but the smell reflects how she’s feeling… I think overall it’s a cool concept, but I’m afraid it might confuse and/or throw off the reader somehow.” It might take a sentence of explanation, but I think readers would pick it up pretty easily. On a scale of confusing from 1 to James Joyce, this strikes me as a 1.5.
Sean, if it would be a plot problem that the character would leave a smell each time she teleports, perhaps she has various tricks to get around that. (For example, clearing her mind with meditation makes it so that her teleportation doesn’t leave a smell?)
I agree with B. Mac, but if it gets too conflicting, I’d not involve smell. Maybe something like her emotions affect the range of her teleporting or how loud of a sound it makes.
Greetings,
I’m writing a sci-fi novel where the characters become superheroes after devoloping these abbilities. I’ve been hesitating, though, on choosing which power to give to my main character.
She’s 17, your typical high school cheerleader who seems to have the perfect life. Off course it isn’t perfect. Her father is an alcoholic who beats her mom and tries to rape her.
Sooo I had thought about giving her psychic abbilities (telekinesis, telepathy, psychometry, forcefields) and I had even created weaknesses that suited her powers perfectly.
Then I read the article “8 Problems with Psychic Heroes” and realized it would be difficult. So I changed my mind and thought maybe she could have the abbility to generate plasma blasts?
But I found this overdone and not as original as I could make the psychic ones?
I don’t know. Any help, advice, recommendation would be enourmously accepted.
Thanks in advance,
Helen.
Just reading what you have listed here Helen, I immediately thought of some power to do with kinetic energy, being able to force things away from her body (maybe a reverse kind of gravity). Reason it came to mind was I had a great visual of the girl’s father attempting to rape her when her powers manifest and him being thrown away.
Also, the power can create some of it’s own weaknesses (especially while she’s learning control).
Thanks Sean, but would you explain me a bit better how that power would work? What conditions or weaknesses it would have?
Helen, what sort of main goal(s) do you have in mind for her? It seems like her drunken father would not be much of a match for her superpowers, unless maybe the point is that her superpowers aren’t enough to fix her family. (Obviously, the situation is more complex than “let’s just beat the hell out of him!”)
Alternately, if the main antagonist is her father, another option would be giving him powers as well.
Another possibility would be challenging her by making it very difficult for her to use powers against her father. For example, if the father learns about her powers, maybe he can sell her out to villains that will kill her. And, if she kills the father, the police and media will get involved, which will alert the villains. So, how does the hero thwart her father without either alerting him to her superpowers or killing/maiming him? I think that will present interesting challenges for her to overcome.
Finally, you could use the father as a secondary antagonist (like the robber that kills Spiderman’s uncle) and then use a supervillain as the main antagonist.
If the father is an unpowered but major antagonist, I think something messy would be interesting, like barely-controlled telekinesis. That’d raise the stakes because it’d be harder for her to use her powers without directly endangering her loved ones and outing herself to the bad guys.
I came up with a training method to help people become sorcerers in my story, it’s called limit breaking. It involves rigorous and painful training that takes months or maybe even years to overcome. But once you succeed in it you gain the ability to unlock your body and soul’s higher potential meaning you can use Magic. (not original, eh?)
The main character uses a powerful rare type of magic; nature control. It involves having power over one of the five top powers of nature; Fire, Water, Earth, Wind and Lightning. He’s a Lightning sorcerer.
He usually uses his magic to augment his strength by engulfing his body parts, such as his fists or legs in powerfully charged Lightning. After learning to body limit break his synapses and neurones can handle being supercharged so he supercharges them with his limitless Lightning/ electrical flow, enhancing his reflexes and general speed to superhuman levels but he learns to do this later on.
He can fire bolts or shape his Lightning into spheres or many other shapes but he rarely does, as he prefers being more up close and personal. His Lightning will be coloured Gold, sorta like how Zeus’ Lightning bolts are coloured.
There’s lots of possibilities for this form of magic and well I’ll come up with some other stuff for it. Oh and there’s no such thing as spiritual energy limits in this series, your magical power works sorta like energy in general does, it can’t run out but it’ll be converted into other forms or it will just be given off in excess. The only thing limiting a Sorcerer is their own stamina.
I have some other characters I’d like to present, two were originally designed and sketched out by my friends but I want some input on their powers.
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/180/8/1/Contest_Submission_by_dragon77070.png
that’s a link to the character sketch if you wanna see it.
Her powers;
It was originally telepathy with a dark twist in here eye that allowed her to control someone completely but she hated it cos Dark magic was an affinity of her family’s and well she despises her tyrant king father King Hawthor III.
But her new power involves her having a bag full of miniature statues of animals and creatures. And she uses her magical power to bring them to life and control them, the animals are an extension of her own soul and so she has full control over them and her growth as a person or fighter means they grow too.
She controls them and uses them to fight and well as she grows they develop new powers that sorta surpass what a normal lets say “Tiger” can do, like; super strength or claws so strong they can cut steel.
Sound good? And yes she will mostly be one of the two thinkers of the group with little to no fighting prowess when it comes to her own strength. They’re all skilled and strategic but she’s generally weak so she has to think more in a battle, her brain is her weapon.
Here’s a character made by Raggedboy, for me
Nichi Orisawa- the wandering darkness
Position: Recon, Diversionary, and Rendevous Tactics
Skills: Master of acrobatics and a style of dance centered around evading attacks.
Abilites: After an incident with a strange dark force, Nichi can turn his entire body pitch-black as well as produce a thick black haze from his hands and mouth. This haze has shown the ability to be able to halve the speed of anything passing through it if it’s not black.
I was wondering if I should alter the darkness so that he engulfs his target in it by running passed them or dancing around them. Once he does so he can control any aspect of the darkness or the person in it, the extent of his control depends on the power of magical power.
Like he can trap them in illusions, cause the darkness to explode, stab them from every corner in it, cause them injuries like blunt force ones etc.
He’s a pacifist that doesn’t like fighting and hitting directly so this form of his power can act as a substitute, he’s willing to use his magic to hurt people but not his own arms and legs.
I love the idea of the miniatures. It’s a great idea for a character.
I think Ragged Boy did a good job too, though I might suggest replacing “Pitch Black” with “Shadow.” I believe either way this will be some kind of dark-energy, but I think shadow reads better.
Hmm, you’re right, shadow does sound better.
It’s a story aimed at kids and teenagers so I guess I shouldn’t over-complicate things, so Shadow sounds simpler and better.
And it is dark energy, Nichi was a monk who was shunned cos of a course of unexplained events that led to him having dark sorcery. He’s lived as a hermit and eventually joined a criminal group called Red blood. Aden the main character and his cousin find out they have to beat Red Blood if they want the hunter corp to notice them and he enjoys them after his defeat, replacing a member of their team that left.
And how’s this power;
matter manipulation; control over matter in general at molecular level. The user can even alter the number of protons, electrons and neutrons any substance is made up of, effectively completely changing what it is, like making calcium into titanium. Depending if they have the raw materials available. They can speed up objects and even make them denser.
eh? It’s Aden’s cousin Liban’s power.
That much matter control could be dangerous (close to reality control). Basically the character could change anything to be anything else and it would be very difficult to limit that power.
Yeah it does seem a bit too much… Well what if it’s limited to the first part where he can alter any kind of element or compound.
He’ll pretty much just use to make his legs rock hard so he can kick harder, Liban is armless, he was born that way so he mostly just kicks people. I was gonna say he could change matter’s state; like make a solid a liquid but that’s a bit too much too, I mean; you kick you opponent once and that’s it they’re a simple harmless liquid.
But it would be cool if he could solidify air and kick at people, using super human strength. That could be his power, making objects denser and solidifying them. Or he’s a supercharger. eh?
Honestly, I like the idea of being able to affect his own density (which could possibly go so far as phasing through solid objects as with Kitty Pride, or changing his own state between liquid or gas).
For a villain, I’d even be ok with a character that could change the state of another object so long as contact was necessary. I would suggest the effect be temporary to avoid completely overpowering the character. Also, this would require some interesting way to make sure that a hero turned to liquid or gas kept his molecules together until the effects wore off, as generally a gas or liquid would flow and mix with other molecules. (Possibly humans can only be changed to some sort of gel substance that remains connected).
Hmm that would be cool but he’s a very violent and battle loving character. So I think density enhancement and solidifying would be cool, he could also liquify but like you said for a short amount of time and I’ll make it so that he only affects a range, like he kicks your hand and your entire arm is affected but not your body. Eventually even if your body parts disconnected due to liquifying, they automatically reconnect when they retain their shape. But if he somehow gets your whole body it stays sticky and connected.
I was thinking of a power I thought would be fun and visually relaxing and funny at times, to keep readers relaxed.
And I think Water Sorcery rocks the house. It’s my favourite and well it’s got possibilities. Like Aden (main character) could fire water pillars from his fists to blow people away, or send highly pressured slice shaped water bundles at people to cut them or he fire compressed bullet like water from his finger tips. He can even start waves but in a small amount. One move would be water armor; a water that covers his whole body and spins rapidly cutting apart/ defending him from many types of attacks.
He also has water properties meaning his skin doesn’t burn and he breaths under water with gills that manifest.
eh?
” One move would be water armor; a water that covers his whole body and spins rapidly cutting apart/ defending him from many types of attacks.”
Ah, it seems great minds think alike. I was planning on having Showtime develop this same skill I called it ‘Torrent Armor’. Conversely, I was thinking of slime armor making you so slippery that some attacks slide off the user. I’m trying to come up with passive powers. I’ve even simplified Showtime’s powers from general water control to more of a controllable water aura around his person. I think that’ll make art much easier and make for more dynamic scenes. I want him to be a hero that jumps into the action as opposed to fighting from a distance.
Yeah I hear ya ragged, maybe it’s the influence of all the series I’ve been watching but direct fighters seem like the coolest or most dynamic to make. Main’s just don’t fit that whole long range category to me.
Unless you’#re starting off with some all powerful main character. But I might go back to him having Lightning powers and his brother will be water. I planned on his brother being the main villain but they can be a duo instead. Which do you think is better?
It’s a short story, not actually short but something I can rap up in 100 to 150 chapters (each like 20 pages or less). I think my problem was that I come up with stories that don’t have a defined ending or a plan, I just liked letting the plot roll. But it’s much easier to write a story if you have a general goal like, this guy will get that guy etc.
Sorry went off topic, anyway I hope water powers beat my original idea of him being a griffin psychic (psychic; term for anyone with superpowers) who could control wind and had above average physical prowess. But my friend’s like; water’s better.
One thing I prefer about melee combatants over ranged ones is that the visuals seem more interesting to me. One variation that could work is the melee combatant with some ranged capabilities, like Spiderman’s webs.
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Awale, I would suggest thinking about wrapping up the story more quickly than 100-150 chapters at ~20 pages each, which would be ~2000-3000 pages. War and Peace, one of the longest novels ever, was only 1500 pages long.
Alternately, if we’re talking about a comic series, 2000-3000 pages would translate to ~90-140 issues of 22 pages each. If the issues were released monthly, it’d be a print run of at least 8-12 years and probably closer to 15 after production delays were considered.
The scale of the project would present a few challenges. First, anything but the most shoestring indy publisher would probably have to budget millions of dollars to produce, print, distribute and market 90-140 issues. If you self-published (say) 1000 copies of each issue at ~$3 per copy, you’d run ~$300K just on printing costs.
When you’re starting out with a publisher, I would recommend submitting something smaller in scope, like a standalone issue that could be expanded later or, if you’re feeling confident, a single arc of 3-6 issues. Publishers only sign on for really long projects with authors that have already impressed them. Alternately, since you’re planning on self-publishing, starting out with a smallish project will probably help you figure out the best way to approach the larger project before you’ve committed a ton of money and time.
Second, I think a few years into the project, you might get tired of working on what you came up with when you were [whatever age]. Personally, if I were a 30 year old working on a story I started when I was 20, I’d probably get burned out because my tastes will have changed by then. I notice that most of the longest-running series change writers periodically.
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Do you think you could reach a major conclusion–not the series conclusion, but one big enough that readers will feel satisfied they’ve gotten this far–after 132 pages (6 issues at 22 pages each)? Tougher question: Do you think you can come up with adequate resolution at the end of ONE issue?
That is tough but seriously thanks for the input, I didn’t see what I was getting myself into. And it’ll be a comic series, I don’t really like novels, I’m a comic lover.
And I agree, it’ll be tough but the one thing I want in my life is to have some free time and well be able to write more stories so writing a series that takes me less than a year to finish is pretty convenient.
It sounds tough but I’ll try, I have some one shots or short stories lieing around, actually only one. It was one issue at 44 pages. I can read it and some others that I buy to see how writers wrap up their stories so quick but still make it cool. I think they turn it into an episode or intro. How’s that a one-shot introduce the main character?
Hey sorry if all I do is ask questions but umm, Do you guys think a Lightning Eagle is a cool idea (gold colored like Zeus’s lightning)….
It gives the character same powers I mentioned earlier with Lightning magic but also awards them levitation/ flight along with completely immunity to electric shock and they have a special electrical shield they can activate on their skin, it’s like the water shield, it incinerates or destroys any object that touches ones skin. And the user of this eagle magic is allowed to engulf their body in lightning to improve their power and their legs and arms can turn into talons, they also gain gold coloured eyes with improved vision.
Sound cool? It’s inspiration is the Phoenix (fire bird in some interpretations is said to look like an Eagle).
Hey listen fellas, I have a problem that hopefully you guys can help with. So I’m developing this character, he’s a acid generator. And I want him to be visibly distinguishable. You know like people can look at this guy, remember who he is and go “Oh s***!” So I’m thinking of giving him completely cauterized skin, from head to toe. The reason is that this is one of those people that is not exactly immune to their powers. So my question is what exactly does cauterized skin look like? I mean is this a compelling idea, or just too disgusting? I’d like some advice please.
“So my question is what exactly does cauterized skin look like? I mean is this a compelling idea, or just too disgusting?” I’m not a scientist, but I scanned through Google and found some examples of cauterization that were mild and some that were nightmare fuel.
I’m not sure if you’re doing a comic book or novel, but I think a skilled comic book artist could illustrate the character without repelling readers. Swamp Thing and Batman’s villain Clayface look pretty good despite having physical disfigurement built into their plots. Deadpool and maybe Spawn also come to mind.
Is the character a protagonist or antagonist? If he’s a protagonist, the extent of his physical disfigurement would probably raise relatability issues. However, I don’t think that would be a major issue if the story had other protagonists that looked more normal. Another way to preserve his relatability would be to show as little as possible. For example, we don’t see Deadpool’s horribly scarred face much because he wears a mask. (Similarly, Darth Vader).
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(Another type of extremely exotic-looking protagonists is aliens/nonhumans like the Martian Manhunter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I found those examples mostly extraneous because they look a lot “cleaner” than a horribly charred human, but maybe you’ll see something there I missed).
I need some help as well, some feedback actually. In the universe I created, most super powers come from one source. That is actually the result of an illegal(and fictional) governmental experimental drug, ‘Khazu #11′.
Basically, the drug when injected, metabolizes into the bloodstream, augmenting certain muscles. It has a very distinct effect when taken by itself, called the most ‘basic’ version. However if it is combined or injected with other substances, the effects vary.
When taken by itself, ‘Khazu #11′ enhances the users strength to six times that of a normal man, and enhances their agility by at least twice. (Which is the ability of my main character, David Reyes)
So I was considering a character gaining some sort of psychic power by injection of this drug. The idea is that his sample is contaminated, sending it ‘upstream’ to his brain(a muscle). Certain components get ‘amplified’ and then he finds that he can now ‘probe’ into minds. The catch, is that he has to remain immobile as he does so. If he exerts too hard, he falls unconscious, and his mind ‘overcomes’ that person(temporarily). Basically if that happens, he has full motor control of that person for a short time.
Does that sound workable, or should I focus on a different power? I was considering two other possibilities as well.
The second was that he merely gains the superstrength and heightened agility. (Reservations about this one, since I don’t want any ‘power crowding’.)
The third is actually kinda interesting. The contamination mixes with the ‘Khazu #11′ and causes his blood to turn toxic. If it circulates too long in his body, he’ll die. So to rectify this problem, he attaches a ‘diffuser’ to the tip of his finger to let the toxin escape naturally. However, if he wants, he can change the settings on this device. This results in the toxin being ‘clumped’ into a thick cloud of dense smoke. As it escapes his body, the smoke can cover an entire room in a matter of seconds.
Which one should I go with?
I like the limitation of the psychic being unable to move much or overexert himself while controlling other people’s bodies. I think it might be better-suited for an antagonist than a protagonist because, based on what I know so far, it seems like a protagonist might not have very much opportunity to use it.
I would recommend against strength and agility since Reyes already has that power combination.
The smoke may have versatility issues. How might you be able to use it in a variety of scenes? I can see a few uses but maybe not as many as you’d want to have, particularly if the character is a major protagonist. (Is he major and/or a protagonist?*)
1) He could use the smoke to reduce visibility, like a terrible fog cover. This could be useful in an escape scene (or maybe a chase).
2) Maybe he could use the toxins in some way? Since the toxins are dangerous when highly concentrated in his blood, maybe he’s able to affect other people by releasing the toxins into the air. One potential problem with this would be that it’d be hard to write interesting fight scenes if he can just instantly defeat his opponents with lethal or knockout gas. So maybe the gas merely weakens opponents (rather than incapacitate them) and maybe it takes a while for the poison to diffuse into the air.
3) The ability to release acid through his fingers could be versatile. For example, he could probably corrode a standard door lock rather quickly. Eating through a wall would take more time but might be viable under some circumstances.
4) If he ever gets into melee, contact with his skin may cause acid burns. (Relatedly, if he were ever injured, it might be dangerous for someone else to try to treat his wounds because his blood is toxic).
*I think versatility matters more for heroes than villains because they’re usually involved in more (frequently all) of the action scenes. But a villain might well be in only 2-3 action scenes, so he wouldn’t have as much chance to get stale if his powers could only be used in a few ways.
Hey B.Mac, I’d like your advice but I’m not sure which thread to post under for this specific inquary. So I apologize if this feels out of place here ok?
So as I have mentioned before I am developing my own comic book universe. A daunting but overly worthwhile endeavor. My ultimate goal is to have a series of individual stories that will eventually become a supergroup story. Like how Batman and superman had their own super careers before founding the Justice League. My question is this, how can I create characters that are different from each other? I know that may seems very vauge, so let me try and clarify. I have several ways to ‘power’ people within my universe and am working to develope a protagonist from each of these factions that will eventually found a team together. The problem is that they all seem to come out as dark, brooding or highly serious. I do take my work and characters very seriously, but I also feel as though I need a character that cracks wise or somehow lightenes the mood. I don’t know I guess I’m looking for advice on building a team.
One possibility would be a different setting for one or more of the characters. My guess is that a superhero story set in Detroit, Gotham, Baltimore (“Bodymore”) or Oakland would probably be relatively dark. When the crimes are more brutal, I think the mood is likely to feel more hopeless. Robberies where no one get seriously injured are PG-friendly, whereas elements like drug abuse/sales, rape, brutal and frequent murders, torture and other similar crimes push a hard R. In contrast, a lighter series like Spiderman or some versions of Superman are likely to deal with murders pretty infrequently and usually in a pretty clean way. (IE: Gwen Stacey dies of a fall and Uncle Ben gets killed off-camera, which are pretty tame as far as murders go).
Another possibility is how the characters deal with crime. I think Spiderman’s crime-fighting methods lean towards PG or PG-13–he never kills anyone and I don’t think he even inflicts a lot of pain. His powers lend themselves very well to nonlethal takedowns. Batman never kills anyone either, supposedly*, but his takedowns are quite a bit more brutal. For example, in The Dark Knight, he pushes a criminal ~15 feet onto a street. The Punisher is possibly even harder on criminals.
*Arkham Asylum give you explosives that can rip through walls and has you use them against people. To “stun” them. Sorry, not buying it. It’s even farther out there than the premise of a billionaire dressing up as a bat and kung fu-ing 20+ armed criminals at a time.
Another possibility is how the villains are developed. I think pretty much every Batman villain is either pathologically insane and/or a hardcore sadist. Few of them (besides, say, Two-Face and the modern Mr. Freeze) have a significant precriminal history to humanize them. In contrast, a lot of Spiderman’s villains were relatively normal people that knew Peter Parker before becoming villains (such as Dr. Octopus/Otto, Lizard/Curt, Venom/Eddie Brock, Green Goblin/Norman Osborne) which helps put a face on them. Some of Spiderman’s and the Flash’s villains flirt with redeemability. For example, the situation is not hopeless for Lizard or Venom; with the right help, they might be able to cure (or at least neutralize) their reptilian/alien killing impulses. In one episode of Justice League, Flash steps in to make sure that a villain is taking his medications, which actually helps fix the problem. In Batman’s universe, pretty much none of the villains are redeemable. What little we see of the “treatment” going on at the Arkham Asylum is both inhumane and utterly ineffective.
Another possibility is how you use your side-characters. For example, in Spiderman’s NYC, the police sometimes get in his face a bit, but there’s never any hard feelings and they basically mean well. In contrast, the police in Gotham run the gamut from corrupt to crazy to woefully incompetent. (Gordon is clearly fighting a losing battle, not only with outside criminals but also within his own ranks). Even when there is an authority figure that seems remotely likable and sane, like Harvey Dent, it’s only to get the audience’s hopes up.
Another possibility is the traits of the heroes, of course. I’ve already mentioned the way they deal with crime and their obstacles, but I think their personality and key traits are at least as important. I think a darker hero would be more likely to be dark, brooding, asocial or antisocial, romantically dysfunctional, and just generally more troubled by what he’s seen and done. A darker hero’s backstory may be more brutal and probably presented in a rougher way. (For example, the Punisher, Batman, Spiderman and Superman lost family members, but Spiderman and Superman cope with the losses much more maturely and sanely).
Some other elements that tend to be darker than not:
–Authority figures as a major villain (i.e. governments as ethnic cleansers in X-Men)
–Characters crazier than relatable
–Silent/serious/brusque/paranoid vs. traits like outgoing, friendly, forgiving, understanding, quippy/light-hearted, etc.
–Substance abuse, particularly the lows of addiction. (IE: Comic books deal with Tony Stark’s struggles with alcoholism pretty seriously–it’s messy and not terribly fun–but the PG-13 Ironman movies use his alcohol more for comedic relief and to make his life feels fun/exciting).
–Strong cynicism. Kick-Ass comes to mind here.
I hope that helped! Please let me know if I can offer any other suggestions.
“In Batman’s universe, pretty much none of the villains are redeemable.” True, but that doesn’t stop him from pursuing a relationship with Catwoman.
True. She seems significantly less messed up than most of the other Batman villains…
B.Mac…I’ve just sent out Chapter Thirteen to you… Though it was relevant to this forum discussion of villains.
Speaking of which I have a question…very,VERY important for my next chapter.
What level of evil acts are beyond redemption?
Can a person who has committed Cannibalism and Murder (Hint for next chapter: REDRUM) be accepted as having redeemed? What if the last instances were thirty years in their past?
The turn is next chapter, toward the very end. I’ll start working on that chapter tomorrow, since this one has tired me out frankly.
I think a writer can make an audience sympathize with a murderer, particularly a reformed one (i.e. someone who has atoned, is likable, etc). It helps a lot if the murder had some moral justification. For example, if someone brutally murders someone’s wife and kids, I could see a lot of people sympathizing with the family man deciding to kill him in revenge. Especially if, for whatever reason, turning to the regular authorities is not an option. (Perhaps the police are corrupt or the jury sympathized with the killings too much to convict or the murderer got off on a technicality, etc).
As for crossing the moral event horizon, from which there is no possible return, I think rape or pretty much anything against kids is absolutely unjustifiable. Personally, I’d be inclined to put cannibalism in this category just because it’s so gross. Particularly if the cannibal murdered people so that he could eat them, like Hannibal Lecter. However, if it didn’t involve murder, I guess you might justify cannibalism as an extreme survival strategy. I thought that World War Z handled this very delicately.
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Red rum? Murder backwards?
As long as they have reasonable justification, I think most characters are still redeemable even if the crime was horrific. On the other hand, if you want your character to be very, very evil; you could pair very sick crimes with very sick justifications/motives behind them…
“Red rum? Murder backwards?”
I just finished reading the Shining for the first time. It was a nod to that, and a nod to the type of heel realization I’m focusing on.
Does it help if a person was forced into that kind of lifestyle? (I’m saying as in a werewolf pack or something similar, where they will use any kind of manipulative tricks to keep a person ‘inside’ their group)
Especially as regards to werewolf packs. In my fiction, after a werewolf bites someone, they watch as they transform involuntarily. (The first change is uncontrollable) Then, usually what they’ll do is take someone their potential recruit knows, and place them alone together. Then they’ll watch as their recruit is unable to stop themselves from killing their loved one. Then, they’ll tell the distraught person that they’ve already are beyond hope and have no other choice but to join the pack. (Taken from my NaNonovel)
As i’ve said, in most fiction (Especially Stephen King) becoming a vampire or werewolf seems to involve a certain amount of Brainwashing, in which a person’s character gets changed by the transformation-even if they are separated from other members of their ‘tribe’ for long periods of time. But what if at a crucial moment, the person remembers what they used to be?
Also, in modern (Especially in Being Human and Twilight) I see a lot of reformed vampires. Now bloodsucking kills someone, and I think can be counted as a form of cannibalism.
B.Mac, I think if you read my chapter, you’ll see that Amber accidentally fatally poisons herself when she attempts to turn Reyes.
Does it help if you include that trope, ‘Dying as yourself?’ combined with the trope ‘Oh my god what have I done?’
-My next chapter. Starting Work on it tomorrow, and have been thinking about it for almost three whole months now.
“Does it help if a person was forced into that kind of lifestyle?” Maybe, but I think I’d have to see it in action. I think it could devolve into “I was just following orders,” which does not strike me as a very morally compelling justification for anything.
There may be a better article for this question, but a quick browse of the names doesn’t seem to reveal any, so, whatever.
If you have a hero who is seeking to remove their powers (Rogue and Bruce Banner come to mind), chances are they’ll get it. ONly to find out later that it’s temporary, or it didn’t really work. How often can you do this before it becomes bad writing?
(I’m asking this because when Farley is a bit outlandish to go out into public. Being a vampire and all. I’m thinking of giving her a temporary cure or something along those lines, but it appears at first to be a real cure. Which could make for some excellent emotional breakdown when it turns out to not be the case.)
In a comic book series, particularly for Marvel or DC, I think it’s VERY hard for writers to make long-term changes that would compromise the publisher’s ability to keep printing stories with the characters. For example, if a character’s powers get removed or the character dies, it’s extremely likely that things will be back to normal within a year or two. Perhaps the most extreme example of this is the third X-Men movie: Magneto gets “cured” of his mutation at the end of the third X-Men movie and he starts to regain his powers as the credits roll. His powers are gone for maybe 10 minutes of screentime.
I think comic book publishers are more amenable to keeping changes that lend themselves to new stories. For example, since getting paralyzed in The Killing Joke in 1988, Barbara Gordon has been portrayed pretty consistently as a wheelchair-bound information specialist rather than as an athletic Batgirl. In terms of story potential, that’s workable–she still has a role in the Batman universe as a hacker and all-around genius assistant. In contrast, if the Hulk actually lost his powers forever, he’d probably be pretty much useless for storytelling purposes. (Bruce Banner isn’t a particularly interesting character and Marvel already has a bajillion brilliant scientists). Likewise, in most cases a dead character will either be revived or replaced.
One of the principal differences between A-list comic franchises and novels is that the comic franchises are designed to be indefinite. DC and Marvel will be selling Batman and Spiderman series 50 years from now. In contrast, Scholastic won’t be selling new Harry Potter books or whatever 50 years from now. Novel series almost always end when the original author walks away. This makes it much easier for novel characters to permanently change, even in ways that negatively affect their future story potential (such as dying).
So, keeping that crucial difference in mind, I think that novel publishers and readers are much less patient with rug-pulls like introducing something that appears to be a major change and then quickly undoing it. I’m not sure what the context of your character’s temporary cure for vampirism is like, but it could potentially be problematic. Or not. One setup that would probably totally work for me would be that the cure itself works, but for whatever reason the people offering it cut off the protagonist from additional doses. (For example, maybe they try to use the cure to blackmail her and she won’t play ball). One setup that I’d probably find more annoying than not would be “Oh no, the cure didn’t take!” for no readily apparent reason besides that actually curing the character would make the author’s life harder.
I think one of the key differences between a cheap rug-pull and a development that actually feels satisfying is that the rug-pull usually brings the story back to square one without much (if any) long-term impact. For example, the cure that randomly doesn’t take probably has rather little impact on the story moving forward. In contrast, if the cure wears off because she’s been blackmailed and runs out of medicine, introducing the cure still develops the story moving forward–for example, it raises the question of whether the character will cave in to their pressure and/or whether she try to procure doses of the cure on her own.
I had the idea to have my hero enhanced by nanomachinces infused in his body. The nanites can stimulate his muscles for limited super strength, agility, durability etc. but the other usefull ability is that the nanites produce bio-electricity that my hero can expel from his hands. Im just having trouble coming up with a way to limit him
Depending on how strong/agile/durable he is, it sounds like he’s pretty limited already. I could envision a variety of situations where I think he’d be challenged. (For example, anything relying on speed/reflexes, like a fast-moving hostage situation or a chase scene where he’s trying to apprehend as many criminals fleeing a bank robbery as possible, etc).
Does having a character with wings sound too much like a rip-off of the Maximum Ride series? I want to make one of my main characters have wings, but I’m worried that people will think that I’m copying.
I’ll put some details here so that you can decide.
Her name is Eva Smith (last name to change). She has wings, although she was not born with them; they started growing when she was three years old.
Eva finds it difficult to conceal her wings, so she usually has to wear oversized sweaters, and even then her wings are still slightly visible.
She can fly, although not very high, and taking off is hard for her.
Please tell me your opinion!
“Does having a character with wings sound too much like a rip-off of the Maximum Ride series?” It’s not the most interesting superpower in the world and I think it’d be hard to do much with it that Angel/Archangel hasn’t already, but I don’t feel like it’d necessarily feel like a ripoff. It’s a pretty generic power. Generally, really rare/distinct superpowers are much more perilous there. (If you had a guy that slung webs, of course he’d feel like a ripoff of Spiderman, but I don’t think that winged flight is so distinct that people would necessarily think of Max Ride or Angel as your inspirations).
However, one angle that I feel overlaps quite a bit with Maximum Ride would be the element of hiding the wings with clothing. I’ve never read any of the books, but I vaguely remember that the secrecy element is a major part of the plot. At the very least, does she have a substantially different reason for hiding her wings?
Huh. I don’t remember reading that much about hiding the wings in Maximum Ride. One of the things that I had trouble believing was that she had a 14-foot wingspan (each wing is seven feet) and she didn’t have to take any extreme measures to hide them. All she had to do was wear a shirt that wasn’t too tight.
The main distinctions between Eva and Maximum Ride are:
The whole wing hiding thing. (Okay, so Max is about 6 feet tall, but still…)
And, of course, the flying thing. I’m planning on making flying super hard for Eva. For example, takeoffs will be extremely difficult. And, the only way to land is to stop flapping her wings from about 6 feet up.
One more thing – Eva’s 12 years old, about 5 feet tall, and about 90 pounds. Another reason why flight is so hard for her. Also, her wings are a lot smaller than Maximum Ride’s.
What do you mean by ‘a substantially different reason’?
Right now, her general reason is that it is now illegal to display your powers in public.
At least, that’s what she’s claiming her reason is.
The real reason, because having wings don’t really count as having a power, is that she’s kind of embarrassed because she has such an obvious mutation.
Sorry if this went on for too long…
I remember at one point, it was mentioned that a team of superhumans should have powers that work well together. Could you explain further? Are we talking City of Heroes archetypes or Ultimate Alliance fusions?
I think it’d be helpful if the character’s roles didn’t overlap too much. For example, if you had one guy that was superstrong and another guy that was indestructible, they’re probably both going to be tanks. Alternatively, if you have a character like Superman on your team, he will probably make a character like Flash redundant*. Superman can do everything Flash can and more–Flash isn’t even the fastest character on the team!
*Redundant in terms of superpowers, anyway. There are other reasons you might want to have a character around.
For my new comic (I tried to make the old one lighter and it lost all its humor X’( I’m thinking of returning to the traditional superhero genre. I have a team of two heroes (plus their friend who does hacking for them, but doesn’t where a costume. He’s the equivalent of a scoobie on BTVS-useful but no powers). There’s Tempest (\Juno\ June Sizanyuk: weather powers, there are limits to what she can do without giving herself a headache or knocking herself unconsious), and Resilience or Sandstone (Danny Calthorpe: sand based powers- similar to Sandman but he can’t morph his limbs into hammers/morningstars or grow. He can just turn into sand or hard as a rock. Strong winds/currents mess with his powers and in aquatic situations his powers are extremely limited. In addition, he has to eat a lot to make up for the inevitable loss in body mass).
Actually I’m changing the powers/name. Danny has been renamed Michael and is Red Phantom with intangibility and flight. I just realized I probably couldn’t get away with naming a ghost-like superhero Danny, however accidental it was and despite his powers lacking in ghostly origins.
The sand guy’s powers feel a but lame cos you limited them and Calthorpe isn’t a memorable surname… Sounds like something some might even miss pronounce. The eating a lot thing makes sense when I think about it but don’t limit your characters too much cos you’re afraid of being too similar to characters that already exist as icons. Marvel got away with Ironman even though he’s a shamelessly blatant combination of Superman & Batman.
Thing is we live in an era where it’s not impossible but very difficult to be 100% original cos our predecessors stole most of the good stuff. I mean look at most of the really famous titles nowadays, they incorporate cliche powers but rock it in an original way but giving really unique origins or by altering their properties her and there and by making their main characters or characters very different from whatever they used as inspiration. But one way to not copy other authors is by researching mythology… There’re tonnes of greek God powers and mythological beings with powers that no one’s used yet. Even Stan Lee was inspired by the work of other people when he made hits like Hulk.
Examples: Ben 10 (cliche power to shape shift) But they made it original by making it shape shifting into aliens from a special watch even though the watch has a green lantern vibe it still worked.
Here’s a character I came up with based on Greek Goddess of child birth:
Otel Briggs (not so memorable at all)
Her powers: By touching any inanimate object or any woman she can create life however the lives she creates are demonic and brainless and exist only to do her bidding. From women she can only create small nearly harmless minions. On the other hand if she touches something such as a large wall she can perhaps even conceive a giant beast. She decides how each creature looks but she is limited by the quantity of what she using to conjure them. (Pretty awesome cos she can turn a superheroes own costume into some kind snake that would strangle em to death)
See, I used inspiration but managed to make my character completely different from what she was based off. You’re definitely a better writer than me so try it out.l
Hi. I’ve posted on here before as E. when I was younger and my ideas were less developed, therefore some of my characters or origins may seem similar to what I said a few years ago.
For now I have just one question, and for lack of a better section I’ll post it here, since this seems to be the most active.
I have ideas for various storylines involving different superpowered individuals and set in different locales. Here’s the thing though: I was wondering if it would be the right decision to all the different series exist in the same universe, e.g., one superpowered team lives on Emerald Island, another superhero is In New Haven City, and a third on another planet entirely, but all exist in the same continuity. In which case they could possibly react with each other in their respective stories. Does this seem workable, or is it too complicated?
@NotSuchAMisterE:
Yes, I think that that could work. I actually think that I’d like to read that series. It would be interesting to see how the different superheroes interact with each other!
I’m making a superhero with mass manipulation the ability to grow and shrink matter, and I need help establishing the pros and cons of the ability and various sizes.
So different sizes for how small stuff can get, and for how large. So 5 inches, 1 inch ect and 50 feet, 100 feet.
Just trying to work out pros/cons.
Well, I think a good limit on how small it could get would be something visible to the naked eye, so maybe he can’t shrink stuff smaller than around an inch tall (or about 1-2% of its original size, if you’d like to go with a proportion). If he’s visible to the naked eye while shrunken, I think it’ll be easier to challenge him. 5 inches may be too limited for him to be very versatile. (Can you think of many situations where it would be advantageous to be 5 inches tall rather than human-sized?)
As for the maximum size limit, if you’re doing a comic book I’d lean towards something like maybe 20-30 feet so that you can do panels that include the giant character without ALSO making everybody else look like invisible ants. If he’s Godzilla-sized, expect to do a LOT of panels where we can only see his heel, because any panel focused on a regular-sized human pretty much needs to be at the level of Godzilla’s heel. If you’re doing a novel or a short story or some other prose, I think you have more flexibility to go bigger. In a novel, it wouldn’t matter much whether the limit was 30 or 50 or 150 feet or whatever, although it’d probably be easier to challenge the character if the limit was tighter. (For example, a 150 foot tall colossus would be able to stop a semi or maybe even a tank careening out of control, but a 30 foot giant would have more trouble with it). Generally it’s helpful to give yourself more ways to challenge the character.
Another limitation that might help is how long it takes him to use his ability. If he needs (say) 30-60 seconds to complete the shrinking or growth, it’d be easier to challenge him by catching him off-guard.
Mhmm I see what your saying, and as for smaller sizes I didn’t plan on going microscopic, but maybe the size of a penny or something.
The Character is a villain, one of the main villains so I intend for them to be powerful, and be a challenge to the protagonists so they have to work together to defeat said character.
I’m probably not going to do a comic,because I’m no artist. A Television program, and since this an antagonist while I want to know strengths and weaknesses. Liek how would bullets effect a 100 foot person versus how they’d effect them at 50 feet, and what size things would be in comparison to them.
Realistically, I think rifle rounds would be as lethal to an 100-foot giant as it is to a 6-foot human.* The good news is that that you don’t have to be realistic. If you wanted to say that an 100-foot giant took on Godzilla-like resilience, I think that’d be okay even though biologists would probably bite their tongues. Ahem–it was believable in Godzilla even though it was probably biologically unrealistic. Readers will give you a lot of slack on realism when superpowers are involved.
*Realistically, having bones 15-20 times bigger might offer some protection against lower caliber bullets, but I doubt even MASSIVE bones would prevent bullets that can majorly beat up metal plating (or, God help you, punch through tanks) from inflicting terrible, terrible damage.
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Speaking of guns, if you’re doing a cartoon show, getting guns past censors might be tricky. I’m only familiar with a few instances where handguns got on cartoons. For example, Gargoyles had a protagonist get wounded in a Very Special Episode about why kids should stay away from guns, the Gotham Police fired pistols but (as far as I can remember) never hit ANYTHING in Batman: The Animated Series and the Joker had a pistol in one episode of Justice League but didn’t fire it. On the other hand, you might get more flexibility on cannons not recognizable as handguns (i.e. a gundam cannon or Megaman’s plasma shooter) and GI Joe-style lasers and nonlethal rays (i.e. Mr. Freeze’s ice gun) are generally acceptable, I think.
Thanks, I’m glad to know I can get away with some lack of realism. And that the bigger you get the stronger your bones are, plus the more muscle mass means more strength, and durability correct?
I don’t have the money for a cartoon or recognition/fame xD. So for now I’ll be starting with novels. I’d like to have gun usage, not heavy gun usage but guns. I’ve always thought lasers, and stuffa re too silly.
What should a limit on size be for the villain? This should be a powerful antagonist, but one the protagonists can beat if they band together? I’ve thought about for example heights ranging to 1000 feet?
Hmm. Okay, bearing in mind that this is reasonably difficult science that I wouldn’t expect most readers to be familiar with (read: feel free to violate this without consequence), but one scientific problem with growth on the scale of Godzilla or something 50 feet tall would be that the character’s weight grows faster than the ability of his skeleton to support his weight. According to scientist James Kaklios, in The Physics of Superheroes, a body that became three times as wide and three times as tall would be nine times stronger, BUT the character would weigh 27 times as much. Even factoring in the extra strength of the bones/muscles, the character’s skeleton will eventually break under his own weight as he keeps growing.
Now, the good news is that you’d probably need a scientific degree to understand that (personally, I don’t), so again please feel free to disregard it. Do whatever makes sense to you. Personally, I’d recommend making him tough enough that he’d have the advantage against the heroes. (They should really have to work to beat him, right? A greater obstacle is more dramatic to overcome).
One minor logistical issue, though. On average, humans are about a third as wide as tall. So, if this character is 1000 feet tall, he’ll be about 300-350 feet wide, right? If you were planning on having a battle royale in a city, he’s way too wide to fit in a city street (usually in the ballpark of 75 feet at the widest). At about 12 feet per highway lane, a 1000-foot tall villain could ALMOST fit on a 26-lane highway (America’s widest).
So, one possibility would be that the character is 225 feet tall (still absolutely enormous, so much so that he barely fits in the biggest city streets. One way that the characters might be able to turn that against him is that he wouldn’t have as much space to maneuver as something smaller, like a blue whale.
I see the science in that. I guess I’ll have to violate science in this lmao. Ah AH but in this case the character is using a superhuman ability to control their mass, wouldn’t there skeletal system now massive as with the rest of the body be able to support the body? Godzilla rapidly grow, this person changes grows/shrinks every aspect of them. I see what the Physics dude was saying, but it’s different from rapid growing? (Correct me If I’m wrong I’m no science major haha.)
Yes, the heroes the main one’s have to work together, I’m planning a little battle royale at the end where they work together, and manage to bring this Goliath down. I just don’t want a character where one character can hog all the spotlight, and beat the villain with ease.
mhmm I can somehow see how 1000 foot person, are you sure they’d be 300 feet wide? I mean how wide was Godzilla, and what if it’s like Attack of the 50 foot Woman where their mass makes them taller, and was she wider in the film I forget. What if they get bigger but have a similar width then normal size. Wouldn’t their foot just destroy massive parts of a street with one step? Plus 1000 foot is the equivalent theyt’d look like a human the size of the empire state building/eiffle tower correct ??Anyway I see your point about keeping it in the 100′s tho.
The Characters using his size against him, that sounds like a good idea, and would be funny as that could be a funny way to piss the villain off lmfao. I could write some humour in this, but I’m thinking the Military can take down someone in the hundreds with their heavier bombs, while someone in the 1000′s can wis-tand more serious harm, since by my estiates a person/suv would be about hte size of a 1000 foot person’s finger nail, but I’m here for advice so whatever you say I’m listening.
And I have question on another power. Energy Absorbtion like absorbing kinetic, solar, thermal, whart are some other energies an energy manipulator can use so far I’ve thought of
Kinetic Energy
Thermal Energy
Solar Energy
Gravitational Energy.
Nuclear Energy.
But I can’t think of any others.
“I see the science in that. I guess I’ll have to violate science in this lmao.” That’s completely acceptable. I mean, it’s a cartoon, right? I doubt scientists are a major part of your target audience.
“I mean, how wide was Godzilla?” Well, one version of Godzilla was 100 meters (~320 feet) tall, and another was half of that (roughly the size of the Statue of Liberty). So if his proportions are roughly human, he’d be about 100 or 50 feet wide. (I’m looking at a picture of him and it looks like he’s a bit wider at the base than most humans are).
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If you’re planning on urban combat, 1000 feet would be rather tall. As a measure of comparison, the tallest building in the United States, the Sears Tower, is 1500 feet. You don’t need to be realistic, but there aren’t that many spaces in a city where you could just fit 2/3 of a Sears Tower without flattening several buildings in the way. However, if you’re doing a cartoon, one difficulty of going too tall is that it’ll make it harder for your artists to illustrate a urban fight without making the streets so wide it looks weird. (That’s something your audience might actually be able to notice–if you took a city and made the streets several times as large so that a really tall villain could fit, I think it’d look off even to some kids).
Is having the ability to use magic a lame superpower?
“Is the ability to use magic a lame superpower?” What can the character do with it? How easily will you be able to challenge the character?
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Also, one common difference between magic for superheroes and magic in fantasy novels is that magical superheroes usually have fewer abilities. For example, Raven pretty much just has telekinesis/force projection, whereas a character like Harry Potter has a wider array of spells to call upon. That’s definitely not a requirement for magical superheroes but I think it helps you explain what the character can do.
hey,
I got an original character for a fanfiction, X-Men, and she got her mutation from another mutant when he was dying. He could deconstruct, alter and reconstruct DNA, organic matter and non-organic matter.
She got almost the same mutation as him, but she can only deconstruct and reconstruct organic and non-organic matter. Something similair to disintegration. She has some control over it, but if she loses her temper she can do some serious damage.
Not only to others but also on her own body, nosebleeds and major headaches if she uses it for long periods of time and even disintegrating her own body when she uses everything she got.
Let me know what you guys think about it and if I should change something.
I think the superpower is okay, but just don’t forget the character’s personality.
Rather than simply using powers in the most obvious of ways i like to try and think of other ways the powers can be used.
For example( This example is taken from my story) if a character had the power to absorb heat and convert it into energy blast. I would think how could i use this in a more complicated or advanced way.Since the charcter is absorbing heat the temperature would drop drastically which could make the character appear to have an ice ability. At the same time if one could change the temperature in the air from hot to cold or vise versa this difference in air temperature would effect the wind pressure which would make the character appear to have wind based powers. At the same time most powers are heat based so if the character absorbed the heat in a fireball it would make the character appear to have absorbtion powers. And finally since he could convert the heat energy into actual blast it would appear as if he had multiple powers rather than just one.
All in all my point is that depending on how you chose to look at it. your character could truly improvise any situation ,all you have to do as his or/her’s creator is think about how a power can be used differently depending on the circumstances. I hope this helps anyone that feels like their characters powers just arent enough or maybe too weak or simple. Its all how you look at it.
Also many people dislike pyromancy. ( I dont truly like it myself seeing as it is very destructive but I’d still use it in a story just not as my main characters power)
I’m writing this as a sort of add on to my previous comment. Rather than simply using pyromancy to shoot fireballs and what not. Why not make where the character could actually mold the flame . Maybe he could create a claw made of fire and use it to do battle. Another example would be to use it as a sort of discharge ( another example from my story just not with fire) Lets say your character is sorrounded by many enemies and his/ her allies are not around.( also bystanders) What if he/ she simply gathered together the flame around his/her body and released the fire to clear out multiple enemies with one fell swoop. Maybe by swirling the flames in a circle or expanding the flames to make a flat burning disc he/she could use the flames as a shield or even throw the flaming disc similar to the destructo disc used by krillin in DBZ. Its also a good idea to pay attention to physics a spinning disc of fire wouldnt slice through an object but would explode on contact.
Anyway just remeber to think about powers and how they can be used. If you have any questions or just need help with a certain power you want to be better post them on my review forum.
Okay, it’s working for me now. I find the site, umm, not terribly well-geared to prospective writers. For example, the most recent superpower added is “Harry Potter magic.” I think it would be helpful if the site weeded out the entries that would be lawsuit-bait if a writer tried using them. (Also, this would be especially unhelpful for people that haven’t read or seen HP).
The “Superpower of the Day” is Living Laundomat (“The ability to clean clothes with your mind. With this ability, you can clean clothes with your mind. You never have to go to the laundromat ever again. You can even clean the clothes you are wearing”). I don’t find this one terribly helpful either.
UPDATE: I’m getting another Bad Gateway error.
Maybe you can add drawn to life, where whatever you draw comes to live. That would be awesome. What do y’all think?
A very distinguished power:
A gothic, depressed girl with zero sense of humour. However, when she starts laughing, she turns into a genki girl with superspeed and ice powers (no one’s sure about the ice part, when they ask, she replies “How else could I keep my drinks cold?”). Her powers and personality fade when she starts to feel depressed again.
It’s not something I’d work with, but I thought it was an interesting take on distinguishing someone’s powers via personality shift.
Hey guys. I’m working with an idea now that giving me a little trouble and I i’d some opinions, if that’s ok. So I’ve got this government agency that works for global stability and I’ve got this idea that, to achieve that goal, they begin to develope a series of suits or powered armor. Now some of these suits are develoed to aid in normal jobs such as deforestation and firefighting. Some are developed for the military. But for the life of me I can’t think of a large number of jobs that a suit of powered armor would be practical enough to build for. So does anyone have any suggestions?
“Some are developed for the military. But for the life of me I can’t think of a large number of jobs that a suit of powered armor would be practical enough to build for.”
–Hazardous conditions (fires, the moon, intense biohazards like working on Ebola patients, deepsea exploration, etc).
–Any position involving a lot of violence (soldiers, SWAT police, peacekeepers, civilians doing dangerous fieldwork in war zones or disaster relief, etc).
–Anywhere you’d need a computer or mechanical assistance immediately available but holding one was not practical. For example, defusing bombs or possibly doing surgery.
If you wanted, you could do a set of more specialized suits based on the circumstances. For example, a surgical powersuit would probably not have much armor–the main point of having one in an ER would probably be to enhance the user’s precision and maybe give him/her immediate access to various computer programs.
I’m writing a novel where my protagonist is a villain trying to get revenge against another villain. He has extreme elemental control; so he can create tidal waves and and make giant pillars of rock. He has the four basic elements (fire, earth, water and air). he breathe underwater and fly. As his major weakness i decided that if he does something to drastic with his powers then he’ll lose control, kind of like Phoenix from the X-Men.
There’s also another character that can use magic and teleport. I don’t know what his limits are yet or what exactly he can do with his powers but i think he should be able to create objects from thin air. Kind of like Daniel-X by James Patterson. I don’t want that to be a huge part of his powers though. I also don’t know what type of weakness he should have.
Another character; what kind of weakness can a man that can duplicate himself have? He has an infinite amount of duplicates and there controlled with a “hive mind”. I’ve also made him to be able to duplicate small inanimate objects like a gun or clothes but not a motorcycle.
As the antagonist i have a necromancer that is quite powerful. but again i don’t know limits or weaknesses. i think he can only raise the dead that actually exist close by, not just have a random skeleton jump out if your in a building. I’d also like him to be able to mash skeletons together and make a dragon but i don’t know if that’s a good idea or not.
I’d appreciate any comments you have on any of the stuff i wrote.
“What kind of weakness can a man that can duplicate himself have? He has an infinite amount of duplicates and they’re controlled with a hive mind.” Maybe if he duplicates too many, they get harder to control and/or coordinate. Perhaps he runs the risk that they will become less useful in combat because the hive mind can only handle so many. (And/or perhaps one of them goes rogue on him and convinces himself that HE’S the real one).
I think it might help to narrow the protagonist’s powers or limit them in some other way. For example, perhaps there’s some cost to him even if he’s doing something relatively small with his powers. (For some ideas of potential costs, please see #2 here).
I’m just getting to this page and I could use some help. My main character’s name is Seth Groener. He is an empath. He can’t touch anyone or he will absorb memories and emotions. His eyes change color according to his emotions. They are mostly purple, because he is sad all the time.
Recently, Seth came into contact with a military experiment code-named Illusion. Illusion escaped from his torturers and tracked Seth down for a reason I won’t get into now. In addition, a team of teen mutants (Chrono 24) are also trying to track down Seth because early in the story he sent out a psionic blast that crippled a lot of people.
Illusion finds Seth first. Seth is pretty much only a flyer, so he can’t protect himself. He tries to fly away but Illusion grabs his foot and pulls him down. Illusion pins him to a wall and forces Seth’s hand to Illusion’s head. Seth’s eyes widen to their fullest and turn a dark yellow (confusion) and then to a bright yellow (fear)
as Illusion’s memories flow into Seth.
Seth later finds himself somewhere else in Illusion’s clothes. (Since Illusion was in an experiment, he wears straitjackets with very long sleeves and pants with straps. He’s also wearing Illusion’s face-mask and leather restraints). Seth’s hair has grown considerably and his hands are now twisted into animal-like claws, fangs and his skin is as sharp as a shark’s. He’s bulletproof and a lot more resilient. He’s much more pale than he used to be. In addition, he has the uncanny fighting ability of Illusion (his training, his power of flexibility, etc).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I left the unedited version below as a reference].
im just getting to this page and i could use some help to my main character’s name is seth groener (please excuse me if ny grammer or spelling is off i dont really correct myself) he is an empath to the tenth degree he cant touch anyone or he will begin to obsorb large amounts of memeories and emotions his eyes change color according to his emotions they are moslty purple because he is sad all the time and recently he came into contact with a milatary project code named illusion. illusion escaped from his torure and tracked seth down for what reason i wont tell for now. as well as illusion a team of teen mutants who call the selvs chrono 24 are also trying to track him down because early in the story he sent out a psionic blast crippling everyone in an 8 block radius. but to make it simply illusion finds seth first because seth is pretty much only a flyer he cant protect himself he tries to fly away but illusion grabs his foot and pull him back down seth cant pull away so he is yanked to the ground where illusion pins him to a wall and takes of seth’s glove and guides seth’s hand to his head all the while seth tries to stop illusion they touch seth’s eyes widen to their fullest and turn a dark yellow (confusion) then to a bright yellow (fear) as illusions memories flow into seth later on seth finds himslef somewhere else in illusions clothes (since he wa in an experiment he wears straight jackets with very long sleeves and pants with straps all over then so he can be secured he is also wearing the face mask that illusion had on the colar and ankle as well as wrist restraints made out of thick leather) seth’s hair has grown considerably and his hands are now twisted into animal like claws he is much more pale than he used to be and now he has razor sharp shark like skin that cannot be cut by anything nor can he be harmed by bullets he has fangs and the uncanny fighting ability of illusion all the training his power flexibilty everything
–“Please excuse my grammar and spelling. I don’t really correct myself.” I would definitely recommend working on that whenever you get the chance, especially if you want to be a writer. (Putting in the time to proofread helps convey to readers that it is worth their time to read it).
–I don’t feel like I was able to follow the timeline of your story very well. When you’re pitching a proposal to a publisher, I’d generally recommend starting with what happens first and moving from there. (Alternately, sometimes it’s best to go with information in the order that the characters learn it in the book). So, for example, I’d probably start by introducing Seth and establishing him as an interesting character, then working in his conflicts, etc. If the incident with the psionic blast is a major event that happens early in the story, it’d probably be helpful to cover it sooner rather than later. Talking about the cause (the psionic blast) first will make it easier for readers to understand the effect (Chrono 24 trying to hunt him down) later on.
–Why is Seth’s changing eye-color important? Does it have any effect on the plot? Generally, when you’re pitching a proposal to a publisher, I’d usually recommend leaving out details unless they’re really important to the plot. Relatedly, does it matter that his skin gets paler after touching Illusion’s head? If so, why?
–Seth’s setup (that he can’t touch people because of his superpowers) sounds a bit uncomfortably close to Rogue’s.
–Besides being sad all of the time, what is Seth’s personality like? (By my count, the description spend more than 30 words on Seth’s clothes and eye color, but none on his distinctive traits). I feel personality is important enough that it’d probably be better to focus more on that than, say, his eye-color.
–“Seth is pretty much only a flyer. He can’t protect himself.” He can’t use the psionic blast ability again?
–I have absolutely no idea what happens after Seth touches Illusion’s head. I think one of the issues is that his superpowers seem to change over the course of the story and it’s not clear to me why. First, he causes a psionic blast. Then he’s just a flyer. Then he touches a villain and gets physically transformed? I’m very confused.
gravity control is a good one. You can control the gravity in an area and you can make everything in there lighter (so you can lift really heavy things like cars and stuff, it looks like super-strength but its not) heavier or even levitate (including yourself), invert it so you can walk on ceilings and walls without the blood rushing to your head, and choose to absorb it when you please to make yourself a little stronger. oh and you can jump around like your on the moon
cons: emotions are involed (like with any power) so strong emotions can cause the gravity near you to turn off or become too great, etc…
What do you think of a power like this? http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PaperMaster
I’m a fan! I mentioned the paper powers in Read or Die here. It strikes me as a versatile power with a lot of potential for memorable visuals.
PS: It’s a lot more interesting to see a librarian flying on a giant paper airplane than Superman or Angel flying with actual flight powers. If the character has to slap together a solution, I think it’s more creative and dangerous/suspenseful.
Thanks! ^.^ I really want to use it, it’s such a cool power to me (origami ninja stars? YES!) but my only aversion, is that paper is kinda weak as a power. It can’t cut into skin very well, not very good for defensive either, etc. However, the main villain in this particular story is pyrokinetic, so it struck me that if the hero made like a bunch of ninja stars or something, and the pyro got the bright idea to light them thinking they’d crumple, it would give the hero an opportunity to use them as flaming projectiles…
So it feels a bit weird commenting on this ultra long forum almost 4 years after the article was written, but here it goes. I have these characters:
1. An ex-boxer from Russia, male, who isn’t the brightest (average intelligence) with anger issues and an anti-mutant sister (who knows all of the characters have superhuman abilities. She feels this way because Nikolai had accidentally turned her fiance into a quadriplegic) He has the ability I call Power Surge (though it probably exists elsewhere), Nikolai ability is to either give a boost to a superhuman’s ability (allow a teleporter to port further, power up an energy beam by 100x or so, allows a healer to heal more of a person, etc) or cause their ability to falter (Force field becomes too weak, stop an energy beam as it’s being released, cancel self-healing, etc) and even (with contact and much concentration) totally cancel their ability for 1 hour. His abilities also power up a regular human’s physical abilities (reflexes, agility, stamina, etc. Though cannot cause super strength and things like that) but if he uses the draining side on a human, he can cause paralysis, comas, or even death. Also, his power is initiated by eye contact or touch, but he has control over the touching aspect of his powers (can’t say the same for eye contact)
2. A worldly Hispanic genius, female, with a photographic memory (this causes her short term memory to suffer occasionally) but is overly emotional named Magdalena “Lena.” Her ability is 100% knowledge of a person’s body. This allows her to visualize all the major organs in a person’s body, the pressure points, joints, and bones after 1 minute of processessing. She can use this ability to read a person’s physical movement and after 30 seconds of processessing, be able to know exactly how to replicate their movement (this is kind of like adoptive muscle memory) but due to her occasional short term memory issues, can only use the move 1 day after she processes it (but can call upon this at any time thereafter, due to her photographic memory) Lena can also use this ability to think of the 10 most probable moves the person will use next.
3. A concert violinist, male, somewhat of a coward though he talks big, who suffers a inferiority complex because he is always compared to his boxer cousin (character 1, Nikolai) who also has the girl he wants (Character 2, Lena) and an ability somewhat similar to his (but in his eyes, more useful than his own ability.) He has the superhuman ability to activate and deactivate mechanical, electronic, and even human objects. If he turns something on (but only if it is electronic) he can control it for up to 20 minutes. By human objects, he can power up or disable a person’s 5 senses, sense of balance or coordination, and ability to feel pain. He can use this ability on himself by turning off his ability to feel pain (physical pain, and not emotional pain and is still worn down by the injuries he receives) and power up one of his five senses to 100% at the expense of the other (Hearing is 100% but he cannot see, for example)
So I know I haven’t provided everything about these characters, but I have just a few questions about this three characters. Will the combination of abilities be combat worthy, both offensively and defensively? A non-cliched group of characters? Overpowered abilities? And don’t think that because Aleksander (aka Character 3) has so much disdain for his cousin, that he’s going to become a villain “just to prove himself” He’s a different fate.
Yeah…if anyone wants to answer this query, go ahead!
Hello, From the Soul.
–In a superhero story, I would recommend being very careful about an ability to cancel out other people’s powers, particularly if the character has other powers. (One limitation on power-cancelers that I’ve found helpful is that if they don’t have any other powers, they can be overwhelmed by an unpowered foe that’s better-trained and/or better-armed). Depending on how much he’s able to weaken other people’s powers, he could be very difficult to challenge, which would probably make the story less dramatic. Since he already has several other powers that are probably more combat-worthy than what the other characters are working with, it might even be worth considering eliminating the power-cancellation altogether.
–I’d recommend being a bit more consistent about how much more powerful he can charge people up. “allow a teleporter to port further” and “allows a healer to heal more of a person” sounds like he’s making a fairly modest improvement, but “power up an energy beam by 100x or so” sounds like a vast improvement. I’d recommend going with a weaker charge-up because it’s just one of his abilities.
–I think it’s a bit cliche to make the Latina overly emotional. For example, Heroes already had one. I don’t feel like it ties into the rest of her character traits and/or background very smoothly, either.
–”Will the combination of abilities be combat-worthy, both offensively and defensively?” I think Aleksander will have trouble contributing in combat, but that might be thematically appropriate. (He’s not the boxer, after all). In time, maybe he gets REALLY creative with his powers and can make them work well in battle.
–I think Aleksander’s powers could be simplified somewhat. For example, instead of “mechanical, electronic and even human objects,” I’d recommend making it electricity, including the impulses from the eyes to the optic nerve or whatever. I think that’ll make it a bit more coherent. (Otherwise, what’s the connection between his ability to activate/deactivate mechanical and electronic objects and human senses?)
–I see some promising signs of personality, but it’s hard to tell from a description of this length. Anyway, the relationship triangle sounds interesting.
Thank you for answering so quickly. I total see what you are saying about the power-cancellation thing, so I took that out altogether. WIith the boosting part of his abilities, the 100x was just a random number so that’s changed to powered up by 15%.
Yeah, over-emotional Hispanic thing may seem overdone so, would switching it to her having slight Asberger’s (pardon the horrible spelling on that) be a good fix?
With Aleksander, I aslo had the idea of him being able to be able to switch an object nearby or in his possession with another object either nearby or in another’s possession, but had felt that it didn’t really fit with the other characters. Or maybe could just have the ability to power up or disable a person’s 5 senses, sense of balance or coordination, and ability to feel pain. He can use this ability on himself by turning off his ability to feel pain (physical pain, and not emotional pain and is still worn down by the injuries he receives) and power up one of his five senses to 100% at the expense of the other (Hearing is 100% but he cannot see, for example) Any suggestions on that?
I do have their entire personalities mapped out, and it IS possible for me to share those on here (yeah reeeal sacrifice) so if that’d help I’ll share it.
Again thanks
Hay, B. Mac I have a question concerning plot structure. Say you have a main character that knows some of his powers but not that he has more that are dormant. Shortly after the character is established. He finds out that his powers are not from a mutation or anything like that, but he is actualy part demon. Once he finds this out, he is exposed to another side of our world seldom seen by humans. After which his new powers become active, and he must control the as new powers. At the same time learn to service in his new twisted reality.
Do you think that would be a good sell for a plot?
“Say you have a main character that knows some of his powers but not that he has more that are dormant.” Does he have any idea what is causing the superpowers? (For example, if there are mutants in-story, he might assume he’s a mutant).
“Once he finds out [that he's part-demon], he is exposed to another side of our world seldom seen by humans. After which his new powers become active, and he must control the as new powers. At the same time learn to service in his new twisted reality.”
It sounds like it could be workable. I think I’d be more intrigued if the setup had the main character doing something interesting and/or making interesting choices and/or having something at stake. It might help to use a few sentences going into specifics about his “service in his new, twisted reality.”
From the Soul, I think Asperger’s would be interesting.
“With Aleksander, I also had the idea of him being able to be able to switch an object nearby or in his possession with another object either nearby or in another’s possession, but had felt that it didn’t really fit with the other characters. Or maybe could just have the ability to power up or disable a person’s 5 senses, sense of balance or coordination, and ability to feel pain. He can use this ability on himself by turning off his ability to feel pain (physical pain, and not emotional pain and is still worn down by the injuries he receives) and power up one of his five senses at the expense of the other (if he could hear extremely well, he could not see, for example). Any suggestions on that?”
If he can power up his sense of balance and coordination, I suspect he’ll be at least somewhat useful in combat.
One thing I really like about just having a power influencing the senses, balance, coordination and pain-sensitivity is that it feels pretty coherent to me.
No he does not know what is causing the powers, but he has accepted that he has the powers. As you where saying, for making choices, he could be conflicted between his two worlds with his choices.
Okay gotcha.
“One thing I really like about just having a power influencing the senses, balance, coordination and pain-sensitivity is that it feels pretty coherent to me.”
I guess I found Aleksander’s concrete ability. And yes, I’ll have him power up his own sense of balance and coordination, so he atleast has SOME use in combat.
I switched Lena’s personality. However, I’m not sure if it turned out well…
19 years of age, female, Hispanic, and she also has mild Asperger’s Syndrome. Lena speaks without contractions, does not easily understand the emotions of jealousy, pride, greed, or lust, and is somewhat obsessed with researching things she’s never heard of, including a few pop culture references. She likes to go to movies, the library, and also public debates/political gatherings. Growing up with a low-level senator of a father, Lena had to get used to being in the public eye and putting on a good girl image. Because of her condition, she didn’t become a bad girl to spite her father, found it hard to maintain a conversation without having the need to look something up, but managed to seem less socially awkward then she might have. Lena is not a fan of meeting new people, and subconsciously has something against people of a heavier than average weight. She blinks a little too fast, her eyes do not focus on one thing for long, and also she seems like she has a short attention span. When Lena was 9, she read the dictionary for fun and knows almost every word’s approximate definition. She can get stressed easily and also has occasional issues with falling asleep. Lena does comprehend being in love, and is in love with Nikolai, though she may have issues showing it. She only feels totally comfortable meeting new people when she is with Nikolai, and he can help her sleep more easily. She and Aleksander, to her, have a friend-friend relationship, and she tells him a lot of her secrets. Due to her ability and her photographic memory, she has a few issues with her short term memory.
So yeah….Thanks for your wonderful input! (Though I suppose I still found a way to weasel in one more thing for you to critique)
I have a character who has the ability to manipulate the energy of anything made of paper. This means she can set it on fire, charge it with electricity, or mold it into something entirely different. The only weakness is that what she can alter about it is restricted by its size and the amount of energy available for her to manipulate. I’m afraid this is too powerful, or too “Gambit-like” to use though.
I think i’m having a bit of trouble trying to mae sense of a self-liquifying character. he’s suppose to be a hero, but I don’t exacly know how he’s going to work. what would happn if he lost some mass of himself, or how his shapeshifting would work. would you be able to help me on this
For the most part, I’d recommend doing whatever you feel comfortable with.
If you wanted it to be a problem that he lost mass, that could work. Maybe something like heat or unusually strong wind causes him to dehydrate/lose mass, which limits his powers or causes other problems for him. If you didn’t want mass to be a problem for him, maybe his body just naturally regenerates mass. (Humans naturally shed about 500 million skin cells per day–the epidermis is constantly being rebuilt from ingested material).
As for shapeshifting, I’m guessing that he has the ability to control the way his liquid molecules move and solidify them into a body, right? So maybe he shapeshifts by rearranging and solidifying his molecules. Again, depending on your preferences, you could work in a mass limitation here. Maybe he’s limited to forms that have roughly the same mass as his regular form, so he can’t do something the size of an elephant. Alternately, if you wanted to give him larger forms, maybe he can absorb excess moisture from the air and use that to make forms bigger than he usually is. If he wanted to do something really small, he’d probably have to leave some liquid behind (or get really dense), but he could just grab more water from the air when he was ready to return to normal size.
I’m currently writing a story about some heroes meeting up to take on a bad guy. I have 9 heroes, not including the others I plan to add if my writing goes well. The only thing stopping me from finishing is a bad guy. Any suggestions?
Ok… first question just right off the bat.
How long is your novel/story? Are all 9 of those heroes meant to be main characters? Is there going to be one or two main heroes as the focus of the story? I can easily see it getting cluttered if there’s 9 different viewpoints going on at once.
Again another difficulty I can think of is a villain who is going to challenge nine heroes working together. I mean, the bad guy would have to be pretty near invincible/invulnerable to be able to fend off nine guys attacking him all at once.
my two cents anyway…for what it’s worth.
“I’m curenty writing a story of some heroes meeting up to take on a well bad guy… I have 9 heroes not includeing the others i plan to add if my writting goes well…. the only thing of stopping me from finishing is a bad guy…any suggestings?”
–I would really recommend considering hard whether it would be possible to delete and/or merge some characters. Having 9+ protagonists would present a huge challenge to giving them enough individual development to be interesting. If possible, I would recommend trying to push the cast down to 3-5 recurring protagonists. Another possibility would be relegating some of the 9 heroes to truly minor status. For example, Neville Longbottom is a minor protagonist in the first few Harry Potter books, but his role is so small that he only gets a few hundred words.
–Could you tell me more about your characters and plot? That would help me suggest an appropriate antagonist.
–If your goal is to be professionally published, could I recommend proofreading a bit more aggressively? (I’ve since edited the original comment).
My original plan was that a mad man invented a time machine and gathered warriors from long ago and made them fight as his army to concur the world. Once the military found out about his plan the Secretary of Defense went and recruited Dr. Jekel who would lead the team to victory. Dr. Jekel then was introduced to Phantom, then the others. Dr. Jekel and Phantom must go around the world and collect the rest of the team before the new army goes under order to kill them. Once they fight off the army they soon realize the villain has brought back the heroes worst enemies. Each hero had a foe that they defeated long ago except this time there a lot better.
If each of these 9+ heroes has a worst enemy, that means we’re dealing with 18+ characters, right? Do you think it’d be possible to cut down to Jekel, Phantom and maybe 2-3 other heroes? That would make it at least somewhat easier to develop your cast.
I have to ask, is it possible to have a character with similar powers and a similar theme to Spider-Man without him or her being a complete ripoff?
I ask because I’ve had similar ideas for characters years ago, before I even really knew who the heck Spidey was (I never read many comic books as a kid). Also, I really like his general powerset – not too strong, not too fast, able to sense danger but not to a degree where he’s untouchable, etc.
Anyway, just thought I’d ask.
“I have to ask, is it possible to have a character with similar powers and a similar theme to Spider-Man without him or her being a complete ripoff?”
–I think you’re totally fine on agility and strength. Those are generic powers. But the ability to sense danger is fairly unique to Spiderman. Even though you developed the idea independently, prospective readers will not know that and may conclude that the older, much better-known character is being ripped off.
–I’m not sure what you mean by a similar theme to Spider-Man. If you mean that the character gets his powers in any way related to spiders or that his superpowers are connected by something related to spiders, I would highly recommend considering alternatives. Like slinging webs, spider-themed powers are SO distinct to the Spiderman universe that I think it’d be really hard to use them without making prospective readers think it was a ripoff.
–What’s the connection between agility/strength and the ability to sense danger? The Spiderman series tries to connect the two by saying that they’re both abilities related to spiders, which fits with the character’s origin. How would your character’s powers be connected? I think that a unique connection could soften the ripoff concerns. (For example, I think Star Wars Jedi sometimes get premonitions from their connection with the Force. That strikes me as unique enough that the similarity between the two danger-senses is not immediately obvious). For example, if the character’s power to detect danger is not supernatural and is just a careful attention to detail (situational awareness), I think you’d be TOTALLY fine.
–Marvel’s legal department is aggressive about protecting its characters, and Spiderman is a billion-dollar franchise.
–If the ability is supernatural, what is the symptom that alerts the protagonist? Spiderman is alerted to danger when he gets a tingling sensation or his perception of color goes haywire. I would recommend coming up with a different mechanism(s).
Okay, that makes sense. I appreciate it.
By ‘similar theme’ I meant kinda like Arana or Mohinder Suresh or something insectoid. But I get that it’s hard to do something even vaguely similar without flirting with a lawsuit.
In the few characters I’ve had that could sense danger, it was always in a nebulous way, only really noticeable as a niggling gut feeling, rather than a direct ‘spider-sense is tingling’ type of thing. And I usually had it granted as sort-of a souped-up intuition. But then that runs the risk of either being not connected to the other powers at all, or being just cliche, or both.
I gave up on the web-slinging (or just swinging) part long ago. Other than the occasional use of a borrowed grappling gun, the only swinging my character would have been doing was on a swingset.
Anyway, thanks for the help. Take care.
“But I get that it’s hard to do something even vaguely similar without flirting with a lawsuit.” Well, there are exceptions. For example, if your work is a parody of Spiderman or heroes like Spiderman, that could count as “fair use” of copyrighted material in the U.S.
Yes, in fact I was thinking and I cut back on them and know I have Dr. Jekel, Cross, Victoria, Shadow, and Steel….I removed General, Phantom, and Eli. I’ve chosen the five because overall they are the best and have the best stories behind them.
Like my character for example can use the power of elements and he has a great skill with knives and blades
and my other character is half cyborg armor witch he can shoot plazma beams and blasts but he has a virus in his armor so when he drains power from humans he has no controll over friends and enimes but he is frikin powerful
So my charater in my book is name ghost and her powers are that she can travel between the real world and then shadow zone also she can create shadow versions of herself which are invincible to everything but sunlight and heat (light from a light bulb just slows them down) also she is has good hand to hand combat skills what do you think of her?
Overpowered.
Some thoughts and impressions, HMN.
“Also she can create shadow versions of herself which are invincible to everything but sunlight and heat…” Will you be able to challenge this character in a variety of situations? Along with Ekimmak, my initial impression is that it’d probably be very difficult to do so. One thing that might help is increasing her shadows’ sensitivity to heat and light. If a light bulb isn’t enough to do anything but slow them down, under what circumstances could this hero be defeated? (Unless she’s outdoors a lot in sunny weather?)
…
I’m not sure what she’d be able to do by traveling between the real world and the shadow zone, but one potential problem there is that it sounds like it’d be really easy for her to escape from danger. Is this going to be a “get out of trouble free” card? If so, I’d recommend rethinking that part of her powers so that she has to work harder to deal with losing situations.
So, I dreamed a new power that I’ve never heard of before, the ‘Commonplace’ power. It effects both animate and inanimate objects, and makes them ‘think’ that ther person who has this power is normal in any given situation, despite their appearance. (Like a hero amung military-dressed minions would be considered commonplace and not anything to worry about, and machines would accept thier codes, prints, and eyescans as if they were always in their databanks)
I’ve been told countless times that teleportation is an unfair power because it’s hard to beat (or something along those lines) and has barely any drawbacks (again, something along those lines at least.) Would the following list of drawbacks help out with toning down the “cheating”
-Must be to a place either in her line of vision or where she has left a phsycial marker behind (Old jewlery, library card, concrete imprint, etc)
-Like Shadowcat’s phasing, they can only teleport as long as they hold their breath (so like a 30 second or so interval between each ‘port)
-If they do not concentrate, they could leave behind part of their body (kind of like splinching from Harry Potter)
-Sudden movements (sneezing, flinching, etc) cause them to randomly teleport to somewhere in their line of vision
-If there is someone or something right where they are teleporting, they might combine with each other (Their arm sticking out of that person’s body or the object, for example)
-If they teleport somewhere more than 5 miles away, they are literally paralyzed for two minutes
So yeah, just wondering if that list of drawbacks helps balance out the advantages of teleporting (or if teleporting is “cheating,” in the first place)
I’ve been thinking about teleportation and one thing might be to think of HOW this ability functions. I know that the most common explanation is “it’s secretly magical and defies all physics” but if we come up with some physical mechanisms for a power we can immediately get some drawbacks.
So, one way to teleport would be to spontaneously generate, enter and exit a wormhole between oneself and the target location. Theoretically, this is possible, but it would have some drawbacks.
To start with, creating a wormhole would require a ridiculous amount of energy. Like, New York’s powergrid ridiculous, at least. Sure, the energy for superpowers comes from somewhere, but this immediately suggests that someone who teleports via wormhole might get far more tired from one wormhole that goes a few miles in a single instant than another hero would by cutting through fifty feet of steel with his eye lasers (as the energy required for the two acts is vastly different, despite the eye-laser feat appearing more difficult).
Additionally, a wormhole is created by folding the fabric of spacetime together between two points with an intense concentration of gravity (like a quantum singularity), then punching a passable hole through that connection and spreading it open. This could have rather devastating implications for everything surrounding the entry and exit point of the wormhole, perhaps warping and destabilizing buildings, attracting unanchored objects toward the point of teleportation at a hundred-gravities of accelleration for the fraction of a second it takes to teleport, and so on.
Also, one way of lessening the power consumed by making a wormhole is to only make a tiny wormhole and then somehow fit the object, or person, in question through that tiny opening. This would entail some survivable form of spatial compression, or perhaps derezzing, which would probably be extremely disorienting/discomforting/disconcerting, such that the person teleporting ends up puking their guts out on the other side of the teleport 4 times out of 5.
If wormholes don’t intrigue you, let’s try hyperspace (though there are many interpretations of what, exactly, hyperspace is). In this one, we’ll assume that hyperspace means entering a higher dimension. In this concept, every point of existence that exists in the normal dimension also has a matching point in hyperspace, except that the points in hyperspace are all somehow closer together.
To illustrate, let’s say our teleporter, Bob, wants to get from point A to point B. In our dimension, point A and point B are 100 meters apart. However, in hyperspace, point A and point B are only 1 centimeter apart. Bob’s power takes him into hyperspace at point A, then immediately opens a way out at point B, which is conveniently almost right on top of point A as far as Bob is concerned, and drops him out back in our regular dimension, 100 meters from his original location.
Fairly straightforward. What are the drawbacks?
Well… What is hyperspace like?
Is it a vacuum? If it is, then even an instant of exposure is going to be VERY uncomfortable, and the farther Bob needs to teleport, the MORE uncomfortable it’s going to get, until it becomes harmful or fatal.
Is it energetic? If hyperspace is much smaller than our universe, but contains the same amount of energy in some form, then it might leave Bob a little singed every time he goes through it unprotected.
It it occupied? What if hyperspace in your world is like hyperspace in Warhammer 40k? THAT hyperspace is filled with demons and chaos deities who want nothing more than to destroy or enslave all life in the universe. You CAN teleport through that hyperspace, but its not something most people would ever consider fun, or safe, or even worth doing except in the most dire of circumstances.
On a completely different front, teleportation is very easy to beat. Like most active, non-sensory powers, it is completely useless against a surprise attack. Example: a .50 cal sniper round to the back of the head.
Also, you can have an enemy with an area-effect power that nullifies other powers, or that stabilizes space preventing all powers based on spatial distortion.
Or you can have a villain whose base is set up to immediately taze/shoot/vaporize anyone who teleports in.
Or the villain can kidnap loved ones and keep them hostage somewhere the teleporter doesn’t know how to get to.
As long as your teleporter doesn’t have omniscient teleporting he CAN be beaten. And even if he does have omniscient teleporting, he has to sleep sometime, somewhere, and GPS tracking devices have become very small and easy to attach to people.
I’m creating a villain and hero.
Hero: Anni, she has pyrokenisis. She can control fire.
Weekness: Water (duh)
Past: She was orphaned at a young age. Her family was killed by the Dark Angle. She has been looking for Dark Angel for years.
Villain: Dark Angel, she posses the ability of darkness. (origanal power) She can bring back the dead, (in skeleton form) shoot knives out of her wrists, and fly. (wings)
Weekness: Unknown
Past: When she was young she was killed. She was an evil angel. So she became “Dark”. She has been killing out of anger.
Any suggestions on powers, weekness, anything.
Thanks!
Some thoughts that come to mind:
–”She was an evil angel. So she became ‘Dark.’” Why did she become evil? I feel like it might help to flesh out her motivations here to make her a more three-dimensional villain. In my opinion, even the most heinous people truly believe that they’re doing something good for somebody. So, unless she woke up one day and decided to be evil, it might help to think about what she’s trying to do that she thinks is good.
–What is DA’s personality like? How is she different than other evil characters? (For example, Hannibal Lecter is distinct from most evil characters because he’s notably brilliant and wry–also, his background as a psychologist is unexpected for a serial killer and helps give him an interesting role in a story about tracking another serial killer).
–What’s Anni’s personality like? How is she different than other heroes, especially other heroes with slain parents? What sort of major choices does she make and why? (One that comes to mind: She decides to look for DA, whereas most of DA’s victims are probably not that brave).
–I’d recommend being careful with making one element weak against another. I feel that sort of classification fits more smoothly in video games.
–I think DA’s name could be more unique. Replacing Dark with a more distinctive term implying darkness or corruption might help. Alternately, replacing Angel with a more unique term tied to the character and her personality might help. Another option would be sharpening the contrast between the two words in the title. (Maybe something like Dark Guardian if she sees herself as protecting something?). I won’t even try to tie this into anything, but some over-the-top football nicknames might include the Nigerian Nightmare, the Dark Wanderer, the Hooded Stranger (no, not Bill Belichick), the Green Reapers, etc.
Thank you.
Well the bio’s were just an example. I have much more details and stuff. But, should Dark Angel have a weakness? Since she is already dead, is there anything anyone can do to her?
(I’m not too good at this… -_-)
Thank You!!!
“Since she is already dead, is there anything anyone can do to her?” Well, presumably there will be SOME way for the hero to pursue revenge against her. It may or may not entail beating DA directly in combat. For example, in the first two Terminator films, I feel the main goal for the protagonists is surviving rather than destroying the Terminator. In the second film, the heroes try to stop the Terminators from ever getting invented by sabotaging the company that is trying to make them. If DA gets her power through a plot device, like an artifact or something, maybe losing the artifact (or getting it unpowered somehow) is DA’s weakness.
“(I’m not too good at this… -_-)” I wouldn’t worry about that too much. Just keep practicing and it’ll get better. Writing is a learning process and I feel that my own writing has gotten demonstrably better in the past 2-3 years.
OMG! Thank you so much for your help. You have no idea how grateful I am.
If DA has a power source, should it be so obvious that you wouldn’t think of. Or should it be very unknown? I was thinking, a stone. Like a certain black and red stone found only in New Zealand. And it holds the power of her. And if destroyed, she will become mortal, but still hold all of her abilities to fight and her powers. So them Anni would have a chance of hurting or even killing DA…
Hello everyone!
I’ve been working on ideas for a superhero novel for quite a while and have finally got them to the point they might actually be worth someone reading.
I need help with the powers of my main character. She has a super advanced form a eye sight that allows her to see all sorts of things like lies, illness, pregnancy, poison in water or food and other stuff like that. She can also track people by the the unique energy signature every living person gives off and has a Macgiver (my apologies for not knowing how to spell it) like resourcefulness.
Generally, these abilities work very well for finding/tracking/searching and as far as the resourcefulness goes, for occasionally blowing stuff up. What she needs a quick access battle ready power that will allow her to defend herself in a pinch. I was thinking something to do wither her eyes since thats where her powers are based. I also want it to be kind of subtle and small because it fits more with the story and her personality.
Many thanks,
ShyViolets
PS: any and all suggestions are welcome
Hmm. I feel that most combat powers (eye-rays or otherwise) would probably make her visual acuity feel forgettable. One possibility that comes to mind is that her combat skills are not supernatural (maybe she’s just generically tough and/or skilled at armed or unarmed combat).
Another possible source for the combat ability, if she can perceive lies (you could actually do this, mostly, if you could read a person’s physiological responses nearly perfectly. Isaac Asimov had a little girl in Nemesis who could do this) is that she perceives the subtle shifts in posture, muscle tension and direction of motion that forecast an enemy’s attacks.
Ah, I like that, CCOlsen. It ties in very nicely with the enhanced perception.
I think I’m going to make her somewhat naturally tough and actually learn to fight properly along the way which hopefully will provide opportunities for character growth. I plan for her to start out as someone who kind of becomes a hero by accident and ends up growing into her role. I feel like it will be a lot more interesting to have a hero that defeats a much stronger villain using mostly intelligence and resourcefulness than having a very powerful hero take out the bad guys easily. Plus her sight abilities are very important and having those be over shadowed by a combat power would be a shame.
to CCOlson’s suggestion: I’m thinking I can use a slightly altered version of that. She can see the subtle movement so she can tell that something is coming and as she trains to fight she can also learn what EXACTLY certain muscle movements mean so she can counter them effectively.
B. Mac, have you written an article on ordinary uses for superpowers? Like Mr. Fantastic stretching his face to shave it? Or the superpowered wrecking company in Ultimate Spiderman?
These things don’t beat the badguys, but they do make the world and characters seem more real.
What would an interesting power for a thief be?
Define “interesting”.
Interesting as in Useful?
Interesting as in Funny?
Interesting as in “How does this help out a thief in any way?”
Well, I feel the most cliche powers would be something like phasing, teleportation, invisibility/stealth/camouflage, etc. I’d also pass on those powers because I feel like they tend to make it too easy for the character to get away if things go horribly wrong.
What do you think about telekinesis for a thief? It’s not the first thing that comes to mind (which I think is a plus if you want something unusual) and it’s pretty versatile.
Alternately, for something rarer, maybe something like control of a pocket space. (For example, maybe he/she can reach into a jacket and either deposit something in a secret space only he/she can reach or pull out equipment from the same space). It could be used to hide/conceal incriminating goods, steal bigger stuff than she’d easily be able to carry, carry equipment and/or gadgets without looking out of the ordinary, etc.
I really like the idea of a pocket space. The thief in question is currently reformed but having a pocket would be a great way for him to have gained infamy. For example stealing a painting is bad but stealing the Venus De Milo (not sure if thats right) would make a huge ruckus. The guy who stole the Venus De Milo wound gain a lot of attention from the international media. It wound also make the thief very hard to catch because he could slip in (after disabling security) and slip out again without being noticed. Plus a pocket space has all sorts of every-day applications.
Depending on his personality and/or history, he might also use the pocket space to take invaluable art as hostages. For example, “If you kill me, you’ll never see the real Mona Lisa again.”
Okay, so I am currently rewriting some old comics of mine for fun, not necessarily to be published, just a favorite pastime of my friend and I, so anyways, one of my main characters has spider related powers, does anyone have any ideas for an original name and more unexpected powers so that he doesn’t turn out too much like Spider-Man? I was thinking he would have this radioactive green plasma webbing that would have different applications than Spider-Man’s traditional webbing. For example, his webbing can actually burn people’s skin off if he doesn’t use it carefully, and it doesn’t allow him to swing front buildings. Also, I think spider sense is pretty much out, unless I want to deal with copyright issues :/
Any ideas?
Well if you want him to be Spider-Man like without being a rip-off you could try something like a silk worm powers (the character can spin webs and glow in the dark) of make your character more of a jumping spider with lots of very physical jumping based acrobatics as well as the plasma webbing.
@ShyViolets
Hmm I like the glow in the dark idea, as well as the jumping abilities-that should make up for him not being able to swing from his webs…Also I just realized that Basil asked a similar question about a couple dozen comments up, so I think I’ve got what I need on the powers, just having trouble with a name, the best I can come up with is Spyder, but there’s gotta be a less obvious name out there. Anyways, thanks for the help Violets
And a quick question: I read your previous posts from this article and i was wondering, is the Thief your secondary villain and is the girl with improved perception your protagonist? Just pulling it all together
@Indigo
The girl with improved perception is my protagonist but the thief from the above post is actually her pseudo father. I have a different set of powers for the secondary villain.
@everyone
What is your opinion on giving animals super powers?
“Also, I think spider sense is pretty much out, unless I want to deal with copyright issues :/” I don’t think any spiders in real life actually have spider-sense, anyway, so if you did get sued, it’d probably be exceedingly hard to show that you had come up with it on your own.
Generally, my initial impression would be that spider-themed heroes are so close to a unique and well-known character that comparisons will almost certainly be raised between the two. I am not familiar with any spider-themed superheroes outside of the Spider-Man universe and there aren’t all that many insect-themed characters outside of the Spider-Man universe.
I did not think of the fact that real spiders don’t even have spider sense, which makes me wonder how Marvel tied that ability with powers received from a spider bite. Hmmm…
What if my character did not receive powers from a spider bite? Most of my characters were born with their powers, so they’re mutants. What kind of powers could I give my character that distinguish him from Spider-Man but that would relate to the plasma webbing?
Also, the protagonist of my story has powers that come from her mutant DNA which includes butterfly DNA. Here’s a list of her abilities:
-butterfly antennae that can sense movement and sounds from approximately 100 feet away (vulnerable to super sonic frequencies)
-wings which she can hide by folding them against her back
-can identify certain substances by touch (much like a butterfly identifies flowers with sensors in their feet)
-Later in the story, she is exposed to a machine that generates energy from ultra violet rays, so instead of harming her, her body absorbs the UV energy and bonds to her unique DNA by giving her added abilities: she can basically create anything (with practice) out of UV energy, such as force fields, weapons, etc
Am I giving her too many abilities? How can I limit the powers she does have so as to challenge her?
@ShyViolets
Are the animals major characters? And do they talk in your story? I think there’s a fine line between annoying talking animals and well developed characters that are integral to the story. I think you could have super powered animals in your story, as long as you give them their own distinct personality. It also depends on your audience. A good example of this would be Total-a talking, flying dog from James Patterson’s Maximum Ride series-now he has got one unique personality, and his dialogue makes him sound so smart and eloquent that you forget he’s a dog.
I hope this helps
hey, would you happn to know a plausible way to explain something like pyrokinesis? having a bit of trouble with it.
@Indigo: Yep. Way too many abilities for one person – though I admit the butterfly angle could be cool. Just the antennae wings, and tactile substance identification would be enough for that. Adding the UV rays angle essentially makes her godly – I’d strongly advise against it.
Hmmm…Limitation wise, if the character didn’t have the wings and antennae and whatnot all the time, then maybe, in a reference to the short lives of butterflies, she can’t stay in “powered” form too long (Maybe only for a day’s amount of time, or she dies? Could be an interesting limitation). Flightwise, butterflies glide a lot, so she might no be able to get airborne in close quarters or in places with no wind. If the antennae are sound sensitive, then even a dog whistle or microphone feedback could be a problem for her.
@Rog: How’d your character get the power in the first place? Mutation, lab accident, genetic experimentation, awesome gadgets, or something else entirely?
- Wings
@Wings
That’s what I was afraid of
Now forgive me if I sound like I’m desperate to combine these powers with the UV energy abilities, BUT what if the UV powers don’t kick in until she’s NOT in butterfly form? Like 2 separate sides to her? OR she loses her butterfly abilities at some point but gains the UV abilities? Hmmm I don’t know, I think I’ll try to limit her as much as possible, that way she won’t be too powerful. I also think I’ll incorporate what you said about her not being able to get airborne in small spaces and the higher sound frequency messing with her antennae.
Although I was tryin to come up with an idea based on the short life span of butterflies; I like your idea of limiting her butterfly form to only a day
Thanks so much for your advice!
You could try limiting the UV ray powers severely. The power to create anything is a tricky one – 99% of the time it can’t be pulled off, and for a lot of readers it sets off the Mary Sue warning bells. Maybe if you just limited it to energy blasts or some other small scale energy attacks – none of butterfly-girl’s powers thus far are offensive, and that might actually help her in the long run.
- Wings
Would it be okay to have my MC have modified weaponry to use with her plant abilities? For example, a rocket launcher that shoots plants that explode on your face and won’t let go.
That could be really interesting. Like something that sprays plant seeds everywhere, and then the MC can just make them grow and attack.
How powerful is your MC?
- Wings
Not powerful at all. She can use firearms because of her father.
Plant-powers wise. How strong is she?
- Wings
Not strong at all. It depends on her strength, so…
Grenac I haven’t been on in awhile so I’m not sure if you’ve actually gone through with the rewrite ( I Hope Not). Anyways about the whole modified weapons idea, I think it seems kind of like an add on. It’s not really needed. If Ianthe can control plants n plant growth, I think she’d be pretty strong. Unless of course if the story takes place in some type of futuristic tech type of era. Other then that she could always have seeds in her pocket, she’d always have some type of plant nearby usually. And on the rare occasion that she doesn’t the training her dad gave her would come in handy. Great Combat skills, Great Marksman skills. She doesn’t have to be perfect but I thought you had something great going with her. Maybe you should think about some techniques she could use.
I think you’re right Wings-she doesn’t have any offensive powers, which is probably why I’m so intent on including the UV abilities. So I believe it may be best to leave it at energy blasts to avoid the whole Mary Sue thing-thanks again for helping me
Grenac: So her control over plants is directly proportional to her physical strength/health?
Indigo: No problem. We all started out once, y’know? Gotta help each other out and whatnot.
To borrow the words of someone far wiser than I, great powers do not a great character make. I mean, look at Superman. Sure, he’s a superhero icon, and he has pretty much every power ever and no real weaknesses (kryptonite doesn’t count). But if a character like him was introduced today? They’d be eaten alive. Who could challenge them? No challenge, no conflict, no plot. That’s how it goes.
Keeping the UV powers as energy blasts should suit your character. Glad to have helped out.
- Wings
Hi Indigo
I agree with Wings. Tone down the powers and you have a potentially interesting character. The MC for my story has no really offensive powers at all so its very feasible that she’ll get her sorry butt kicked into neck year so it adds drama :
@Wings: Yes, she tires easily with her power.
@Marquis: No, I’m just thinking ahead during my sleeping times.
@Both of youse: The thing is, when she gets her power, she’s thrown into the hero guild. She can’t control large amounts of plants and for expended periods of time. I was going to have her use the weapons with the plants cause she can only use the plants to ensnare enemies only. If that fails, she has the artillery for backup. I thought it’d be a nice way to tie in her little weapons knowledge. I don’t want to make her a Sue or anyting though, so she wasn’t going to be this competent fighter because even though she trained some with her Dad, she has grown up to sit in front of the computer all day. She’s way out of shape basically. So all she can do is fire away, pretty much how she plays her games, spamming the attack button. I was just wondering if it was okay or not.
I am writing a one-act play for children. The play is in English with some Italian language elements mixed in. (The play will be performed in Italy.) I have written several successful plays with this mixed language content, for example, an English detective who has to solve the murder of an Italian actress.
This time I’ve been commissioned to write a Superhero play, using the same quasi didactic language elements, and much comedy with some Superhero parody mixed in. But I want to stay essentially true to basic Superhero formulas.
The title is “SuperTeacher and the English Kid.”
The play starts with SuperTeacher standing before the Official Board of Superhero Regulators. They are grilling him because he has performed poorly of late, in fact they go over his recent string of failures in some detail. He is informed that he must “save” somebody within 24 hours or his Superhero status will be revoked. SuperTeacher’s main power is of course “superteaching”, meaning he can teach anybody anything. But clearly his power has waned. His real name is Billy Byrd and he is a middle school English teacher. Any ideas of other powers, perhaps hidden, that he might have? Why has his power waned so drastically?
Then there is an adolescent girl, Teresa, a smart Italian girl in Italy who has not done too well in school of late. Everything used to come easy to her, good grades, lots of friends, but in the last year or so everything has gotten more difficult and complicated… adolescence. She inadvertently “calls” SuperTeacher to the rescue.
At this point I want to introduce the villian: The Distractor. The Distractor is based on the Greek myth of Medusa, who could turn anyone to stone by looking into their eyes. The Distractor is a walking gadget, always set in blue vaguely strobe light, with a big flashing screen on his chest and several smaller screens like Medusa’s snakes on his hands and shoulders. One look at The Distractor and you are unable to concentrate.
Here I will have to set in motion both the conflict and the inter-language content. I was thinking that The Distractor was perhaps the root of both SuperTeacher and Teresa’s malaise, but it needs to be little more black-and-white. Maybe SuperTeacher is captured by The Distractor and Teresa must learn and use some new English language skills to save him.
Any ideas or comments would be most welcome. I have the outline already but I’ve read some pretty imaginative ideas on this forum and would love to hear what might be added to the mix.
well if SuperTeacher is suppose to be a “Super Teacher” his powers could he something like image projection. Children learn better when they are shown instead of told. His power could be teaching and the Distractor has been preventing him from coming up with super lessons or distracting him and his students. If you want Teresa to save SuperTeacher you could have her have to solve a word puzzle using the skills SuperTeacher had taught her.
Thank you for the tip… the word puzzle in particular will definitely fit into the script!
What sort of abilities would one hypothetically have if they were to be using 100% of their brain capacity?
Basically any mental power could be vaguely believably linked to it (e.g. anything psychic, anything related to intelligence, etc). However, it’s an urban legend that humans only use 10% of their brains on average. According to Scientific American: “‘Though an alluring idea, the 10 percent myth is so wrong it is almost laughable,’ says neurologist Barry Gordon at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore… What is correct, however, is that at certain moments in anyone’s life, such as when we are simply at rest and thinking, we may be using only 10 percent of our brains. ‘It turns out though, that we use virtually every part of the brain, and that [most of] the brain is active almost all the time,’ Gordon adds.”
That said, human brains DO use only a small proportion (20%) of memory-forming neurons. If somebody was somehow able to use super-science or some other means to tap a greater proportion and stimulate mental activity in the midbrain, it’d be believable if his memory and/or learning ability were vastly better than average.
Having an Eidetic Memory is one the real life abilities that I would rank as a superpower. There actually are people who remember everything that they read or see or hear. C.S. Lewis was one such. Oh to be able to do academic citations from memory…
I know I mentioned this before, but one thinking superpower that a person could conceivably have is supercharged empathy. In Isaac Asimov’s “Nemesis” there is a little girl who is an empathic genius. There’s nothing at all psychic about her powers, though. She’s just so incredibly good at reading and interpreting body language, physiological signs, voice inflection, eye movement, tone, word choice and context that she functions as near infallible lie detector and can make pretty reliable guesses about what a person is thinking at any given moment.
Other thinking superpowers might include having a brain that works like a squirrel’s, able to rapidly plot crazy-insane parkour routes through streets, parks, buildings, tree branches, etc.
Also, there was “The Pretender”, a TV Series with a main character who was so smart and imaginative that he could adopt not only a believable, but also an effective, persona as just about any kind of career person in the world. At various points he pretended to be doctors, lawyers, investigators, etc, and he was so smart he could actually do the work associated with those professions.
“She’s just so incredibly good at reading and interpreting body language, physiological signs, voice inflection, eye movement, tone, word choice and context that she functions as near infallible lie detector.” One study found that police officers, lawyers and polygraphists couldn’t detect lies with any degree of accuracy. If you flipped a coin with “TRUTH” on one side and “LIE” on the other, it’d be about as good as detecting a lie as they were. However, Secret Service agents and, umm, aphasics beat the coin by a substantial margin. In both cases, researchers speculated that the lie-detector succeeded by paying extremely close attention to “micromomentary” cues in the face that indicated the person was lying. In contrast, the average listener focuses on what the liar says and that tends to work out pretty well for the liar.
I’ve got it. The main character (somewhat) based of of me will have water manipulation, aquatic respiration, enhanced combat, agility, etc. I also wan’t to add some type of sound based power to finish of, undecided though.
For powers via objects would it be plausible (as it can be) to have a mystical axe that can cut open cross dimensional portals which allow for teleportation? Also, the axe weighs a substantial amount to those who try to wield it, but to the user it is a comfortable weight…
@Anonymous
Well, it worked for Thor, so why not?
Wow, me and my friend are wrighting a book on super heros. Their are 3 main charecters. Kate, Rose, and Dawn. Kate’s Powers are Invisibility, And Water manipulation. Rose’s powers are Ice manipulation, and flying. Dawns powers are Electric manipulation, and shape shifting. The story start with these charecters and they go to a school called West Rock HighSchool. They eventually find out that they have superpowers and they train with heir new friends who all have super powers also. Then soon they find out that dillion a school bully is actually a super villon. Then later after the team (Here are the others who are part of the team, Claire: super strength, Jordan: sublimation. Alex, super speed. Richard: duplication, and Kyle, his power is telekinesis, The super heros are training to defeat the mysterios scarlem. The scarlem are evil, and are trying to turn all the super heros into super villions. Then they plan to take over the world.
How does this book sound to you!
It sounds like it could be interesting
My only concern is that I counted 8 main characters (not including villains) and it could be difficult to develop each of these characters individually. Unless you’re focusing on the three girls you first mentioned and the other members of their team get less spotlight and are therefore secondary characters. And since you have such a wide range of powers, try to use them in unique ways so that they stay fresh.
Have you come up with any distinguishing personality traits for your characters? I’d like to see a list of your characters, along with their personalities and powers if you don’t mind.
Hello!
I’m working on refining the powers of some characters in the comic I’m creating and I’m asking for some advice regarding weaknesses and their powers overall.
Decibel: Sonic screams and other forms of sound manipulation. Over use causes stress to his vocal cords.
Cobalt: Projects blue disc-shaped force fields that eventually develop into telekinesis. Her mind becomes strained if she projects discs that are too large or if she projects too many.
Electrode: Can absorb and project electricity. He cannot absorb large amounts of electricity without losing control of his power causing damage to his own body.
Paragon: He can transmute his hands/forearm into any metallic/geological material. He also has enhanced strength and bone density.
Blaze: Absorbs heat from the sun and uses it to generate fire. She has to store solar energy to use her powers at night.
Are these descriptive enough and do they provide enough weakness? I was also thinking of adding another member with either super speed, invisibility and intangibility or healing. Any ideas?
Wazzup! i think you forgot shapeshifting. but the rest is still pretty cool. the superpower i want is telepathy or telekinesis.
Ah, okay. Above, I had them listed as “The ability to take on an animal’s form” and “The ability to take on a human’s appearance,” but now that I think about it, your phrasing is smoother. I’ve changed it above to “Shapeshifting (animals)” and “Shapeshifting (humans).” Thanks for your help.
ive been trying to find the power in witch a person can travel through power linesand other electrical apliances please send me a reply
simaler to megavolt in darkwing duck
paulbagleypablo@gmail.com
That ability is called ‘electrical transportaion’. I get a lot of this type of information from wikipedia. Good website, though it catches a lot of flakk.
I’m writing a story about a guy named Royce Black (Electro) who has electrokinesis, but the bad thing about that is he’s always charged and has to wear rubber gloves and wrap himself up in plastic.
And I made up this character, who calls herself Plastique, whose powers I came up with when you said ‘Telekinesis that only applies to a specific thing’. Her TK applies only to plastic, and she can do everything Magneto can with metal, but with plastic.
So Plastic and Electro meet each other and start a relationship because Plastique is immune to electricity. But while Electro falls for Plastique his friends are noticing weird things about her. Nothing that implies she is actually luring Electro into a careful trap.
What do you think?
It sounds okay–at first, I thought it felt contrived that he wrapped himself in plastic and she just happened to control plastic, but it turns out that plastics actually are generally good at resisting electricity.
I think the false romance/trap could be really good if you executed it well. For example, what’s she setting him up for?
…
I have a highly tentative sideplot (making fun of the tendency that even average-looking guys in comic books somehow land smoking-hot women, a la Mary Jane) where (SPOILER–maybe?) an IRS agent new to a super-agency suddenly has a highly friendly and intelligent model interested in him. The guys at the office start taking a pool about which country she’s spying for and/or why else she might be interested in the IRS agent. (“Can I get odds on Russian spy AND visually impaired?”) I’m not sure what the payoff would be, though. Maybe Gary comes tantalizingly close to the perfect romance but his new job and/or his coworkers get in the way. Maybe she was into him because he’s so super-normal, but is completely thrown off by all the danger and/or strange acquaintances she’d have to put up with to date him.
“where an IRS agent new to a super-agency suddenly has a highly friendly and intelligent model interested in him.” AWW B.Mac SPOILER ALERT.
Highly tentative! The above subplot probably won’t make its way into the comic, but I’ll add a spoiler just in case. I do know this: if a super-model character does appear in The Taxman Must Die, she won’t just be a pretty face.
Thanks! I like your idea too
Electro wraps himself up so that he can touch people without killing them and so he doesnt burn his clothes off or destroy electronics. I haven’t yet figured out what Plastique’s intentions are or what Electro’s friends are noticing, but she wants some kind of revolution. Any ideas?
One possibility is that she comes to him with either a mysterious offer of assistance and/or a desperate request for help. Then she subtly causes him to fall for her.
For example, maybe she shows up with a BIT of credible evidence and claims that somebody close to him is trying to kill him. “I was on the trail of [a criminal] that’s bought hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of military-grade electronics* he couldn’t possibly know how to use. I found these [personal effects, maybe a security card or blueprints or something] in his safehouse. He must have gotten them from somebody close to you. Do you know anybody who would be good with electronics?*” I imagine he’ll be initially skeptical, but start to wonder when an assassin (secretly collaborating with Plastique) narrowly misses killing him with something electronic*.
*Subtly frame one of his teammates, maybe somebody he doesn’t get along with. Feel free to swap out “electronics” for anything that might plausibly be linked to the implicated character. For example, if she’s trying to frame an expert marksman, Electro might start to wonder if she’s right if he nearly gets killed by a sniper rifle and the sniper character has been acting strangely and/or rudely. One way that she can make it seem like the sniper character is a suspect is by coming to Electro shortly after he has a relatively major spat with the implicated character. Alternately, Electro might get really suspicious if the sniper character is the one that is the fastest to suspect something of the mysterious new girl.
…
“She wants some sort of revolution.” What doesn’t she like about the current system? (Her reasons for wanting a major change may show us a lot about her personality and choices).
I need some help with giving my characters Codenames, but they’re more like nicknames. I don’t want them to be dumb sounding. I want them to sound awesome, like Magneto or Professor X.
A technopathic man, evil.
A photokinetic girl, snobby.
A hydrokinetic woman, good.
A boy and a girl, both with elasticity.
A girl who can change her density.
A boy with atmokinesis.
A boy with cryokinesis.
Thanks!
Could you give me more details about the characters? (In particular, “good” is vague enough to cover Mother Theresa and Han Solo).
That said, Luminaire comes to mind as a snobby-sounding, light-themed name.
The technopath seeks to destroy all mutants, which is why he is evil.
The hydrokinetic woman wants to save the mutants.
And Luminaire is perfect!
I have a few more questions…
–Why does the water-controlling woman want to save the mutants? What separates her from your other protagonists?
–Why does the technopath want to destroy all mutants? Is there backstory there? (E.g. maybe he or somebody in his family had a really bad experience, or maybe his town/city had a really bad experience with a mutant).
The technopath thinks mutants are a plague because he had bad experiences with them.
The hydro woman is only good because she was blackmailed to do things benefitting mutants. This did make her a better person, but it negatively changed her views to regular people shunning mutants.
“The technopath thinks mutants are a plague because he had bad experiences with them.” You could do something along the lines of judgment and/or purification. For example, a synonym for judge (like Arbiter), Osiris (the Egyptian god that judged souls after death), any other mythological figure related to judgment, etc. Alternately, if the character’s more into revenge than justice, maybe something themed with death (although hopefully not the grim reaper–I think that’s a bit cliche).
“The hydro woman is only good because she was blackmailed to do things benefitting mutants. This did make her a better person, but it negatively changed her views to regular people shunning mutants.” I think she has gotten a lot more interesting. Who’s blackmailing her and what sort of pro-mutant things is he/she forcing her to do? Is she preparing any sort of response to this blackmail or is she just taking it?
She was forced to take the blackmail, which was sabotaging anything anti-mutant. This didn’t extend to actually hurting others until the anti-mutants hurt her.
I’d like their nicknames to have something to do with their powers. Do you have any for the other people?
@Cameron
Could you please give us a more detailed list of your character’s powers? The words you used are very broad and include a lot of powers. Maybe you could narrow that down for us?
Thanks
The characters I’ve mentioned can do everything comic book characters with these exact powers can, but not on a molecular level (and they’re more limited). The technopath, on the other hand, has a chip in his brain that allows him to control electronics with his mind.
In my story, my main character has the ability to shapeshift into any person he’s seen (usually he has to have met them in person, but overtime he is able to do it with just pictures). This also pertains to clothing and other accessories. He uses this power in a multitude of ways – to throw pursuers off his trail, to gather intelligence which he would otherwise have no access, to infiltrate enemy camps, or to just play mischievous tricks.
However, his shapeshifting comes with fatigue parameter, as the act of shapeshifting and remaining in a guise requires a significant amount of conscious mental power. If his concentration falters, then his guise is likely to “slip”. For example, skin tone and eye colour may change, or his facial features might begin to morph.
Does this sound like it would be a good power?
Sounds workable–I like the concentration aspect more than, say, Mystique’s powers, which just seem to work without any thought or effort. The character might not be able to participate in superpowered fight scenes to the same extent as other characters, though.
My story is still in the early planing stages – do you think that maybe the shapeshifter would be better as, say, a supporting character? I just want my MC to be involved or able to be involved in superpowered fights.
Hi,
I’m a 6th grade teacher who is in the process of putting together a fictional narrative unit. I’d like for my students to write a superhero comic book story. They’ll be using an online app (toondoo). I have many questions. First, how many superpowers should my students select for their characters. I’m guessing a superhero can, theoretically, have a combination of some, or many. However, might it be best for the kids to choose a single superpower for coherence sake?
Thanks, and I hope to hear from you. This blog is a fantastic resource.
Charlie
Vermont
Charlie, I’d encourage them to stick to 3 or fewer (so that they have space to work on story elements besides just describing the characters’ superpowers). I wouldn’t worry about it too much, though, because sometimes counting superpowers is surprisingly hard. (For example, is Storm’s flight a separate ability, or is it just part of her ability to control the weather?)
i’m doing a story about a blind boy he is in a freak show because even though he is blind he uses his other senses which are greatly enhanced to balance and flip across high ropes dodge projectiles and even navigate through mazes. he is 16 just like me he can do many things a person with sight couldn’t do very flexible and acrobatic a master of capoeira his powers are based around adaption. his skin can adapt to any environment he can breath in space and underwater he is blind because he is the ultimate predator. he uses echolocation sight would only mess things up and that is also one of his weaknesses. another one of his weaknesses are he cannot adapt to telepaths farther along in the story he confronts a telepath who tries to read his mind and goes out of his way to try and kill her because her mental intrusion invaded his privacy and hurt him very much he has a phobia of physical contact and his name is violet i know its a girl name but that is his favorite word tell me what you think pls
oh and one more thing he fights using dermal constructs transforming his limbs into sharpened swords skewers axes clubs ect.
Thanks for the response. I’ll be in touch over the course of the unit.
Charlie
Vermont
Charlie, I would recommend you let them choose one or two powers. I’m developing my own comic book universe and found it easier to go with one power per character. It allows me to give them a power that allows them to be challenged in their heroic endeavors. So I’d say one of two powers would be good.
Now shadowhazard, I must be honest. I was a little confused reading your top post. Ok the blind kid can use his other senses to superhuman levels, I get that. But where did the adaptation come from? Just curious.
Oh by the way guys, I’m working on a side project that will just be a conceptional design thing. I’m working on a outline of a redesigned DC comics universe…from the ground up. So, yeah it’ll be fun.
his adaption came from him being tortured with a substance i call adanzite he was blind from birth and it was not as if anyone would miss violet he was a homeless boy in the north pole its like liquid evolution i apologize for the lack of info there was this space crystal they found studied and began using it to experiment on people but the only one who survived the torture was violet he went through a number of experiments on him and the more it was used slicing his skin to shreds him breathing it in its liquid form smashing him between huge chunks of the stuff it rewrote his very DNA giving him the power of the adanzite itself it even became useless against him it could no longer hurt him one of the scientists was so horrified by the pain violet endured she rescued him from the clutches of oblivion’s hand and because violet wanted’ Lina the scientist involved helped violet get into a freak show to further hone his skills since he is very new with his powers
im am really sorry if i keep adding bits and pieces but i just want to get it all in right now since he is blind from birth his body is adapted to make sure he can function as a normal person who can do much more with sight you are afraid have you ever thought to yourself that building could fall on me at any moment i could die at any moment any number of things could kill me at any moment better not step on that crack oh better not step in that puddle the power line could snap and i could die or maybe this guy just insulted me am i really gonna take that you turn and see that the guy is huge well with violet he faces his obstacles only hearing the building falling feeling the wind rusing through his hair he must act or he will die or at least that what his body tells him he wont see this huge guy he will only hear the person’s voice and their feel the person’s heart beat giving the person an outline he will only make out the outline smell their sweat ect he will act instead of fear what he sees
Ok cool. I guess the lack of periods confused me a little. What’s that about?
Some thoughts, SH.
–If your plan is to get professionally published, I would definitely recommend proofreading more aggressively. It will help build and reinforce your credibility as an author.
–The acrobatic and superperceptive sides of his power-set sound a lot like Daredevil’s–I would recommend doing something to distinguish your character from him. For example, one possibility that comes to mind is the extent of his blindness. Daredevil is technically blind but his senses are so finely tuned that he might as well not be blind. This character also gives me an impression of technically-blind-but-not-really.
–If you’d like to name the character Violet, it might help to make the character a female. Alternately, you could vary the name slightly so that it takes on a more masculine feel. For example, Violetti and Viole and Violo sound vaguely Italian.
–I had trouble following the story. I think more regular punctuation would help there and, also, sticking to a more chronological format would probably help. (E.g. telling events in the order they happen, or perhaps in the order we learn about them in the book).
–Lina’s personality sounds a bit generically nice. I’d recommend fleshing her personality a bit more–does she have any flaws?
Okay does daredevil see with all of his senses? or only just one. I see what you are saying about daredevil because I went and watched the movie it was really iffy on if he even used all of his senses. I saw fumes when daredevil was attending the party I didn’t know what that was about at all and the thing with the rain spattering people’s features into focus just confused me even more. With Needles’( Changed the name at your request) he smells everything like a hound dog he can see pretty well like that. His sense of touch is very acute he will often crawl on all fours when tracking something to feel the vibrations he makes on the ground making everything clear’ feel tracks just to get closer to the scent. And finally with his echolocation he can further make out everything around him it doesn’t hurt that heart beats are vibrations he can pick up with his ears as well. OK now on to Lina the reason she rescued Needles from Oblivion’s hand is because Lina was a superhuman herself she couldn’t watch as another of her kind was cut to ribbons before her eyes. Lina will not hesitate to kill any of the soldiers sent after Needles. Lina is the ruthless one in the story since she served as a mercenary for a long time before the super humans were discovered she was called python because she would strangle people to death in order to keep them quite she was a spy and often had to go on the inside if anyone figured out who she was that is what would happen. Lina’s powers have to do with elasticity so she can actively change her appearance by molding her face into someone else’s face or just make a new one entirely. I hope this cleared things up and please get back to me as soon as you can I would really not mind chatting because I am so impatient ha.
I dunno…. I mean, the blindness doesn’t really add/provide anything for the character if he can get around perfectly, that he might as well have his sight. So as of now, to me, the blindness seems like a gimmick. There’s really no point in him being blind if it doesn’t really provide a challenge for the character. The reader probably won’t even remember he’s blind.
I could be wrong about this. If I am, anyone is free to correct me.
This Lina character, her relationship with Needles (that is his new name, right?) seems contrived. There might be a deeper reason as to why that I’m not getting, but so far it just seems so flat.
Then again, this could be because I know nothing about the character’s personalities.
Just throwing my two cents up there.
Redundancy everywhere. Sorry about that.
Wow you are good the relationship is more than just her wanting to not see him hurt Lina is a part of a group who recruits super humans. that is why she broke him out of the prison he was in she has to bide her time to get on his good side so she can get Needles on the bus as to speak. and the blindness is his weakness because his other senses can be overloaded at any moment the way I made Needles before he was this unstoppable power house but now he is stoppable. and take in mind that he is supposed to be this predator evolved for hunting and combat. I thought him being blind would be the best thing for that and if him being blind is a gimmick then look at daredevil he can get around perfectly just as Needles can. I am not trying to copy daredevil in any way I just want a blind character because it suits him more than being able to see he wont fear anything when he is blind. I thought about this for a while and the readers will know that he is blind because he will do things differently than normal people. He wont just look around for someone if he is being ambushed he will listen smell touch taste he will make clicking noises to echo-locate he wont just dive head first into battles he will be stealthy using a person’s sight against them, He will be cautious about everything he does darkness will be his best friend
Oh crap didn’t mean to resubmit that sorry.
Ok I want to know how I would write Maves shadows taking damage by bolts of electricity.should the shadows simply dissipate or should they simply be stunned for a period of time?
i’m writing a superhero story, are these good ideas for superheros and their powers?
Dead: immortality (only discovered later)
Ion: Cybernetic DNA enhancments, flight, energy blasters on each wrist, increased sight and hearing
Ms. Electric: Production and control of electricity and ‘blue lightning,’ which is like radioactive lightning.
Firewall: Biomechanical familiarity with electronic devices, superhuman hacking ability, limited control over electricty itself.
i’ve got a few more characters, but i’m still finetuning them
I created a character who can generate and control hair, which I guess would be called trichokinesis. But it’s not just growing hair from her head. She can grow it from any part of her body for a variety of purposes, like wallcrawling like a gecko, growing thick amounts under her clothes to have a different appearance or to keep her warm, can grow it so thick it’s impenetrable. She can generate hair as nets to catch things, and since she has full control over her hair she can use it like extra limbs. She can even make thick spikes made completely out of her hair. And she can control its colour, volume, thickness, texture, and shape. Her hair is naturally dark red and thick.
Drawbacks:
She must eat a lot of food to be able to generate so much hair. Controlling the hair also requires her concentration, and when she gets angry or stressed she’ll sometimes sprout coarse black hair from all over her body. Another problem is that once she’s grown hair she can’t absorb it back into her; she must shed. Shedding is instant and painless, but leaving behind heaps of hair can indicate to her enemies where she was, and it’s messy.
What do you think? Too many abilities?
“What do you think? Too many abilities?” No, I think it works. The power is so unusual that I feel versatility is essential. The shedding might be kind of gross, though.
Besides mobility, how would the character use her powers in action scenes (e.g. battle and chases). One possibility is that she could use her hair to entangle people or use a flood of hair as an extremely primitive substitute for spider-silk. (Spider-silk can be used for body armor–pound for pound, it’s tougher than steel and much more flexible).
how would this power be useful in defeating an enemy? I’m more traditonal (super-speed, super-strength, element based, etc) so i can’t see this working out. Can you explain it more?
I guess yeah, she’d tie them up in her hair and leave them
I forgot–another drawback of her powers is FIRE! Fire is her worst enemy, it quickly burns her hair and if her skin is badly burned she can’t grow hair there anymore, just like with ordinary people. Her right foot has burns like this from a fight, now it’s kind of her achille’s ankle.
is this her only power? if so, it would be difficult to defeat a lot of other powered beings. fire for one. super-speed would be too fast for her hair. water based beings could make her hair heavier than she’s used to making it difficult to stop them. maybe giving her other powers would make her more formidable and more interesting.
it’s her only power, and that’s whats fun about it. She has to be resourceful when she encounters someone who is harder to defeat. She’s not superman (invulnerable) and that’s what’ll make her fun to write about
the people in my story have only one power each. They can apply their powers to allow them to fly for example if they have aerokinesis. But someone for example with superstrength won’t have x-ray vision too, they’re not related. That way they have limits
fair enough, good luck with your story
Has anyone considered how scary someone with autokinesis (pure flight) could be in a fight? If you can generate kinetic energy in your whole body, why can’t you generate energy just in your fist? Or your foot? If you can take that energy generation and channel it all into a specific limb for an instant you could do things like punch through car doors. (Remember that it is entirely possible to punch through things like bricks without injuring yourself as long as you can get enough energy on a single point to make the bricks start breaking before you do.)
“(Remember that it is entirely possible to punch through things like bricks without injuring yourself as long as you can get enough energy on a single point to make the bricks start breaking before you do).” I’m having trouble visualizing that. Let’s say I could punch hard enough to break a very thin pane of glass. Even if I can make the glass break first, I think the jagged edges and shards will probably inflict serious (possibly fatal) injury.
CCOlson, do you have any more scientific information to back that up?
Autokinesis is another word for flight? As in superhero flight? Learn something here every day. Hm. Wikipedia has a different definition-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autokinetic_effect