Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.”

This is like a who’s who of the nefarious underbelly of the animal world. Long-time readers already knew that polar bears are schoolteacher-mauling ecoterrorists and raccoons prey on 74-year grandmothers and the squirrels are, of course, vagrant crack-addicted rodents with a penchant for profanity.  But I (along with anybody from Detroit) am shocked that lions and tigers are in cahoots with the terrorists. All previous evidence suggested that they were completely helpless.

Free download links:

• Bronic
• Comic Book Commando
• CreativeBlock BB
• Earth’s Mightiest Bold Expanded
• International Playboy
• Helsinki
• Karmatic Revolution
• Kid Cobalt
• MarkerMan
• Playtime with Hot Toddies
• SF Arch Rival
• SF Slapstick Comic
• SF Toontime
• SF Wonder Comic
• The Rifleman
• Toontown Industrial Condensed

SCENE 2

BELLA: It’s tough being the new kid in school! Especially when everyone is so friendly and helpful and interested in me. Why can’t they just leave me alone so I can sit in the corner and cut myself?
CLASSMATE: You’re awesome, Bella!
BELLA: See what I have to put up with? Hey — who are those hot people over there?
CLASSMATE: Those are the Cullens. They avoid direct sunlight, they don’t eat food, they sleep in coffins in a graveyard, and holy water burns them. I think they’re Canadians.*
BELLA: They sure are spectacularly gorgeous.
CLASSMATE: Yes, they are.
BELLA: I mean seriously, those people are BEAUTIFUL. Especially the one who keeps looking at me. Man alive, that guy is stunning. I mean, wow. He is hot buttered seduction on a stick. I’m not interested in him sexually, of course, because sex is dirty, but wow — LOOK AT HIM! Yee-ikes! Hubba hubba! If you don’t mind, I’d like to spend the next 75 pages talking exclusively about how attractive he is, and then bring it up again every paragraph or so for the remaining 400 pages.
CLASSMATE: Knock yourself out.

*The makers of Vampires Suck stole this joke.

• Genre: anything with superheroes.  “This can be pure comic-book style heroes, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc but the central theme / characters in the story MUST involve superheroes.”
• Deadline: October 31, 2010.
• Pay: none.

Submission details here.  Thanks for pointing this out, Matt.

1. List the 25-50 most important events in the plot.
2. Place one event each on a post-it note.
3. Organize as many of the post-it notes into a cause-and-effect chain as you can.

For example, here’s a political thriller with two main plot threads. (I wouldn’t recommend more than 3 plot threads).

For more information on how to use your map to tighten up your plot, see below.

Most manuscripts are incoherent. The plots aren’t very tightly connected and events seemingly happen at random or because the author got bored. One warning sign that your plot is not coherent enough is that mapping out the major plot threads leaves many post-it notes orphaned from the main plot threads.  I’d recommend reconsidering the plot items that didn’t seem to fit into the main threads. Are they necessary? Could they be shortened? If they don’t tie into the main plots, why have them? Alternately, try altering the plot so that they tie into the main plot more. (Maybe a hero gains a trait that is very important down the road).

Do the main threads connect? If not, I suspect that the story will feel disjointed–moving one plot thread shouldn’t stall the others.  For example, in Scott Pilgrim, winning the girl and beating the villains are very closely related, not only because the villains are the main obstacle to the romance but because the relationship between Scott and Ramona is both developed and strained by Scott’s uneasiness about getting constantly attacked.

Some other insights you may draw from your map:

• If a different order strikes you as more logical, go for it.
• Are there any points where you could jump from A to C without B?  If so, read through B carefully to see whether you can get rid of it.

Thank God this is a parody.

1.  Proofread everything you send out for a publishing job ridiculously hard.  Almost every publishing job requires immaculate writing skills, and professionals don’t have enough time to exhaustively proofread everything written by interns.   So you need to demonstrate that you write well enough to impress a publisher that lives or dies based on the quality of its writing.  (Pretty much every company takes its writing seriously, but especially publishers).

2.  Make it clear that you can reliably complete tasks without constant oversight. For example, use your cover letter and/or resume to describe a significant professional project you completed to your supervisor’s specifications without much prompting or direct supervision.  An intern that can’t remember to complete responsibilities without constant reminders is probably a net liability.

3.  Self-starters are always more desirable. Since every internship has downtime, companies value interns that will use the downtime productively.  For example, a proactive intern might ask co-workers if they need any help with projects and/or errands or try learning new job skills, etc. (I learned search engine optimization by borrowing reference manuals from our SEO guru).

4.  Tailor your resume to a particular position at a particular company. Make sure that you’re addressing as many of the listed job responsibilities as possible.

5.  Know the company–especially when you’re preparing for the interview. Here are some more tips on interviewing with publishing houses.  Some questions you should expect:

• “Why would you rather work for us rather than one of our competitors?”  (To see if you’re familiar with the company and whether you’re excited about working there). For example, one distinguishing characteristic of Dark Horse is that it does a lot of licensed properties like Buffy and Star Wars. Its series usually look more stylized (less photorealistic) than Marvel/DC.
• “Which of our series do you like the best?”  (To see if you’re familiar with their products). Pro tip: each Dark Horse job description mentions Buffy, Hellboy, and Star Wars, so they probably expect you to be familiar with them. For other major Dark Horse series, see this.
• “Could you describe the job responsibilities to me?”  (To see whether you read the job description carefully).  Pro tip: if you’re doing a phone interview, have the job description in front of you.
• “Do you have any questions for me?”  (They’re looking to see whether you’re curious and mentally engaged).  Some commonly effective questions include “What do you enjoy most about working here?” and “What sort of challenges will I face?” and “What sort of traits separate somebody that’s pretty good at this job from somebody that’s really good?” 

6.  Be careful to maintain a professional image. Yes, the publisher will check your Facebook account and Google you.  Be polite at all times.  Proofread everything. Don’t use silly fonts.  Etc.

1. The first paragraph should introduce what you will be arguing and what sort of evidence you’ll be using to back up your assertion. In an English class, you’re not talking about every aspect of a book, so identify your focus. Do NOT merely provide a fact (“The Great Gatsby is a 20th century American novel set in West Egg, New York”). Focus on what you’ll need to make your argument. For example, “West Egg symbolizes the American dream” and then talk about what happens there and how that demonstrates what the author is suggesting about Gatsby’s attempts to break into the upper class.

2. Summarizing the book is usually besides the point. The teacher has already read the book, so the summary probably isn’t necessary. Do talk about plot events that advance your argument, though.

3.  In most cases, teachers want you to discuss literary effects rather than your personal feelings and preferences. In 99% of cases, teachers don’t care whether you liked the book or not.  So, instead of saying something like “I thought it was annoying how sarcastic the narrator was,” talk about something the sarcasm accomplishes.  PS: The teacher already knows you don’t like the book.  Shakespearean plays didn’t make the assigned reading list because of their youth appeal.

3.1. In most cases, teachers frown upon first-person English papers. Unless you’re specifically writing a paper about yourself, like “What I Did on Summer Vacation,” I’d recommend avoiding words that refer to you, such as “I,” “me,” and “my.”  They’re usually red-flags for the author interjecting personal feelings.  Note: first-person is more acceptable when discussing how you conducted a scientific experiment because you’re not discussing your opinions but rather providing important information about your experiment.

4.  Be specific. Do NOT use all-but-meaningless words like “positive” and “negative.”  For example, instead of saying “The voice is negative,” describe one or more of the “negative” aspects you’re talking about.   For example, perhaps the voice is depressed, resigned, resentful, disappointed, condescending, contemptuous or cynical instead.  “Vivid” is another red flag that suggests the student is writing a meaningless sentence to waste space.

5.  Proofread! Read through your paper for typos at least once before turning it in.  Using a spellchecker alone is not sufficient.  A spellchecker can’t help you pick between”two” (the number), “too” (too much) and “to” (pretty much everything else).    Grammar-check is 90% worthless.

6.  Start each paragraph with a topic sentence saying what the paragraph is about.  For example, in this blog post, each paragraph starts with a tip and then the following sentences provide further details about why it matters or how to pull it off in your work.

7. Umm, read the books. Paper based on SparkNotes or a friend’s notes are frequently hilarious, but not in a good way.

Anything I missed?

Watching superheroes beat up villains may not be the best image for boys to see if society wants to promote kinder, less stereotypical male behaviors, according to psychologists…

“There is a big difference in the movie superhero of today and the comic book superhero of yesterday,” said psychologist Sharon Lamb, PhD, distinguished professor of mental health at University of Massachusetts-Boston. “Today’s superhero is too much like an action hero who participates in non-stop violence; he’s aggressive, sarcastic and rarely speaks to the virtue of doing good for humanity. When not in superhero costume, these men, like Ironman, exploit women, flaunt bling and convey their manhood with high-powered guns.”

The comic book heroes of the past did fight criminals, she said, “but these were heroes boys could look up to and learn from because outside of their costumes, they were real people with real problems and many vulnerabilities,” she said.

My initial impression is that this is so luridly off-base I don’t know where to begin.

In particular, I’d like to take issue with “[the typical superhero] is aggressive, sarcastic and rarely speaks to the virtue of doing good for humanity.”  Except for the Punisher and perhaps Spawn, I can’t think of any superhero movies over the past ~20 years that fit that description.  One of the unique traits of the superhero subgenre of action is that morals tend to play a larger role than in other action stories, not less.   How often does a typical Arnold Schwarzenegger or Steven Segal character discuss why he’s there to beat the hell out of people?  In contrast, the moral code of a superhero usually comes up pretty prominently.

• Superman: “Truth, justice and the American way all that stuff”
• Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility”
• X-Men: tolerance and understanding (see Xavier’s justification for founding his academy)
• Batman: the desirability of law/order over anarchy/chaos.
• Ironman: making war obsolete (and also sharing technological progress with the world)

I think the virtue of doing good for humanity plays a much larger role in these works than in most works aimed at, ahem, middle-aged women like Sharon Lamb.  (Twilight? Sex and the City? Anything on the CW?)  Indeed, one of the recurring complaints about the new Sex and the City movie was how utterly self-absorbed its characters are.  According to reviews, one of the major objectives of the characters was escaping the Middle East without suffering the indignity of going on a second-class flight.  (Perish the thought!) Careful, ladies, you’ll set a bad example for the audience.

In short, this “research” looks considerably less grounded in reality than Seduction of the Innocent.

2. Revenge. This might be heroic if the crime is particularly heinous and/or the regular authorities are not willing or able to resolve the situation. It might be villainous if the character is overreacting or not being careful enough about hitting only the people responsible.

3. To distinguish oneself. It depends on why the character wants to distinguish himself. A hero whose main goal is fame/status will probably gain a more substantial goal over the course of the story. (For example, Booster Gold). I think it’s seen as a superficial, temporary goal. In contrast, “be true to yourself” is more purely heroic… Unless being true to yourself involves psychically decapitating people and sucking out their brains.

4. To fit in/gain acceptance. A lot of heroes seek to gain the respect of their peers (see any story about “the new guy,” particularly students). However, gaining acceptance might be more sinister based on who the protagonist wants to impress and/or what will impress them. For example, 1984 ends with Winston Smith rather unhappily gaining acceptance by betraying his innocent girlfriend: ”…he had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.”

5. Justice. This is like revenge, but usually less lethal and targeted more carefully against the perpetrators. Nonetheless, justice can sometimes be villainous. For example, the main goal of the robot antagonist in the I, Robot movie is to prevent humans from getting hurt, and putting them under house arrest seems to be the most logical way to do so.

6. Greed. Although realistic, I think this motivation tends to be used in a one-dimensional way. For a bit more depth, maybe the character is hording something (money, power, remote-control ninja stars) on behalf of somebody else. Also, I think it’s cliche for antiheroes to be sort of greedy because their authors are afraid to let them do anything actually unpleasant. I’d recommend going all the way.

7. Fear. This strikes me as a more interesting, dramatic motivation than greed. It’s usually more morally complex because the character might actually be right. Maybe Lex Luthor is correct that Superman will eventually turn on us. Fearful heroes usually perceive threats that are current rather than potential, but they may be paranoid wrecks anyway (see Question/Rorschach, possibly the psychiatrist from Halloween and Batman, etc).

8. Desperation. I feel this is a more interesting motivation for both antagonists and protagonists than greed because it raises the stakes and heightens the conflict. A greedy character is usually driven by stupidity: stupidity is the only reason he can’t be satisfied with what he has. In contrast, a desperate character can’t back away from the plot. He can’t escape the conflict.

9. Social cohesion. Most commonly, this means keeping a family together. However, any books with significant racial or class-based conflict probably deal with this to some extent. Some examples: X-Men, probably Harry Potter, American Beauty, The Incredibles, Dark Cloud Descending, etc.

10. A desire to better oneself. Depending on what the character is trying to change about himself, we may approve of the transformation. Here’s a thought for your hero: is he trying to change anything about himself besides becoming more powerful? What about the villain?

11. A desire to better humanity and/or society. I find altruistic villains especially fresh. They’re harder to dismiss as stereotypically evil, cardboard cutouts.

12. Curiosity/search for knowledge. A hero searching for understanding may be an amnesiac, some sort of wanderer, etc. A villain is probably uncovering secrets better left untouched, although his intentions may have been pure. More unexpectedly, an eventual villain might go on an innocuous search for understanding but come away with exactly the wrong lessons from life. If starting point A is a relatively normal person and ending point C is a villain that kicks dogs without any hesitation, the journey is what connects the two points. What sort of life experiences would warp someone that much? (See The Heart of Darkness, for example).

13. A desire to gain power to achieve a goal. This training/self-development angle comes up in many superhero stories, particularly those with rookie protagonists (such as Kickass). However, it was notably missing from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

Could I recommend against a stereotypically heroic goal for the heroes or a stereotypically villainous goal for the villains? While world domination is a fine feat, it is not exactly uncharted territory for supervillains. If the villain is vying for world domination, why? It might be more interesting if his bid for supremacy is somehow tied to altruism, fear or desperation. For example, maybe the villain is a time-traveler that knows about some grave threat, so he’s trying to take over because he’s the only one that knows how to avert disaster. If the alien invasion starts in 20 years, you don’t have very much time to unite the Earth. (Also, this would lend itself rather well to a sequel: the hero successfully stops the “villain” at the end of the book, but discovers that he has to defeat the impending alien invasion).

14. To escape one’s destiny. This comes up quite a lot in classic American literature, such as The Grapes of Wrath, Catch-22 and The Great Gatsby. In contemporary superhero stories, the element of fighting destiny comes up most often when a character decides to become a superhero. Very few superheroes are born into their line of work. What leads the protagonists to decide that this is their calling? A supervillain rebelling against destiny, such as Sylar or the Kingpin, is usually born into a decidedly mundane and powerless family. Another common type of escaping destiny is fighting with one’s parents and/or dealing with stereotypes.

15. To achieve one’s destiny. The favored goal of Chosen Ones and megalomaniacs everywhere. I don’t think this is nearly as interesting as escaping destiny because a destined hero isn’t really driving his own story so much as conducting a train on a track laid by somebody else. If I had to shroud a character in destiny, I’d rather make it the villain The Boy That Lived, The Chosen One, the child born under a rare astrological sign, the subject of a great prophecy, the heir to an ancient and illustrious organization, etc. It’ll make the hero’s journey all the more challenging if he has to overcome all that on his own.

Feel free to mix and match! For example, here’s what I’m going for with one of my villains: his romance is aborted by the untimely demise of his lover, so he searches for knowledge to help humanity by overcoming destiny (human mortality). Cue the Lovecraftian horror music. What do you think? Do you have an interesting motivation you’d like to share?

Another profane song I find amusing…

And Mel Gibson as an abusive X-Box Live teammate.
veral

However, if you wish to sue somebody for copyright infringement, you’ll probably need to pay a small fee to register your copyright with your national copyright office first ($35 in the United States).  I’d recommend leaving that to your publisher, because suing somebody is almost always impractical before you get published.  There are more cost-effective ways of defending your work and/or dealing with plagiarism than spending thousands of dollars on a lawyer.

2. I haven’t been published yet and can’t afford a lawyer. What should I do if I’m plagiarized?
If the plagiarist has published your work either professionally or by a vanity publisher: Write the editor/publisher and explain that you’ve been plagiarized. If the plagiarist was brazen, copying sentences with few changes, sending the editor an electronic draft from a few years ago or a copy of the notes you gathered while writing the story should be sufficient.  If the plagiarism is subtle (“I worked on a concept just like that!”), it’ll be hard to prove that you got ripped off.  So many books get published ever year that a lot of them share similar concepts.  Of all the places the alleged plagiarist could have gotten the idea, an unpublished manuscript is rather low on the list.

If the plagiarist has posted your work under another name on a well-trafficked website: Contacting an administrator and/or moderator on the website will probably suffice.  (Most sites have a contact form, and some even specifically list copyright queries on their list of most common topics.  For example, if you’re contacting DeviantArt about plagiarism, you’d probably want to file it under “Copyright and Etiquette”).

If the plagiarist has posted your work on a personal website that no one reads: You can contact the web-hosting service, which may remove the offending website.  Failing that, you may wish to contact Google to let them know that your content is the original (because Google’s search algorithms discriminate against duplicated content).  Besides that, I wouldn’t worry about this, because it’s too much work for too little benefit.

3. My professionally published work got plagiarized.  What should I do?
Publishers are usually pretty zealous about protecting their work.  Bring the plagiarism to the attention of your editor. Depending on the publisher’s resources and level of concern, the publisher may threaten (or even file) a lawsuit, which is usually effective.  If the publisher doesn’t care, it’s probably not a problem.

4. I have been self-published.  What should I do if I’m plagiarized?
Your publisher won’t provide any legal assistance because its relationship with you ended as soon as it cashed your check and printed your copies.  See #2.

Disclaimer: I am neither a lawyer nor a ninja.  If at all possible, speak to an attorney experienced in publishing law. Or a ninja.