Oct 24 2008
Quiz: Is Your Manuscript Dead on Arrival?
This quiz will help you diagnose some common manuscript problems. If you’re not sure why your answer was right or wrong, please see our explanations either by waiting until the end of the quiz or hitting “previous question” during the quiz.
On my count, I have only invented one word. That’s Yinyusi, Isaac’s species. That’s pretty obviously made up, but there are ones which I don’t count because they seem real, like Libra Electronics and “Kingdom of Giogani” trading cards. The first is a company that will be majorly involved in the second book, and the second is his friend’s favourite card game.
That sounds very manageable. Just don’t use a book title that will stump prospective readers (The Tears of the Yinyusi, ie). Heh.
Remember the Katblack character you suggested I rename?
What do you think of the name Backslash?
That’s better, but I think that it will remind people of an unrelated punctuation mark, heh.
Ok. Maybe Backlash?
I like it!
You should do one like this to determine if any characters are homo superiors. That would be good for me, seeing as Isaac isn’t human.
Hmm, a test for Homo Superiors. I’ll work on that.
Until then, perhaps you would enjoy our new Mary Sue and Chosen One tests.
OK, I’ve been having some trouble coding it. I’ll resolve the interactive problems later today, but I have the script completed. I think it’d be preferable if a race scored 5 or more on this. (Note that I’ve labeled things as “BAD” which are not necessarily problematic by themselves but could contribute to a problem depending on other factors).
1. Is his species generally physically superior to humans? YES = BAD
2. Is his species generally mentally superior to humans? YES = BAD
3. Do members of this species generally find themselves morally superior to humans? YES = BAD
4. Do you find this species generally morally superior to humans? YES = BAD
5. Are humans significantly superior to this species in any physical, mental or moral way? YES = GOOD
6. Is a member of this species generally born with superhuman powers, like magic or telepathy? YES = BAD
7. Is the species immortal or extremely long-lived? YES = BAD
8. Does his species look very similar to humans? (Legolas) YES = BAD
9. Does his species look identical to humans? (Superman). YES = BAD… very bad, heh.
10. If your character is a hybrid, like a half-dragon or a half-elf, does he have a far mix of the strengths and shortcomings of both species? (YES = GOOD)
11. Are there many members of this species in this book or story? YES = GOOD
Hi,
Came across this quiz after a bit of snooping around on your site (found you by a google search for writing tips, specifically cliches). You have some helpful and insightful articles, especially “Writing Authentic Male Characters”. Being a woman, writing the male pov has been a difficult task but the article helped me to understand what I’ve been doing wrong and how to better go about it. Anyway, I thought the above test sounded like fun. And it was. Even though I write Women’s Fiction, it gave me pit falls to avoid when revising my novel.
I did find the scoring ambiguous at the end and felt the stars and % needed to be better defined. At first, I had assumed a higher score (more stars, higher %) indicated a better chance of my manuscript being d.o.a.(as a higher score is usually interpreted as more likely to occur). But after some thought, I figured out that a higher score indicated my manuscript had a lesser chance of being d.o.a. (high score=good, low score=bad). No need to burst my bubble if I’m wrong: )
Thanks! I appreciate the tips! Keep up the good work!!!
Hello, Jane! I think that our quiz-builder always assumes that a high score is better than a lower score. According to my records, you got 29 out of 35 answers right and we coded that as an excellent (least likely to be DOA).
If you liked that writing quiz, please feel free to see our others here.
I think I accidentally chose the wrong answer at some point, because I know I answered way more than one incorrect.
Some of them actually do apply to my work, but the ones I have in mind are important for both the progression of the story and the characterization. I’ll admit it’s slightly cheesy, but I’m working on it.
I’m not really writing to sell, but I’m still aiming for quality. Do you think that my novel is *instantly* DOA if I answered yes to any of the plot-related ones?
Is your novel instantly DOA for one of these? Probably not, but a few are poisonous enough that they can really influence the first impression if they crop up early on.
For example, if a novel switches POVs in the middle of an early chapter, I think it’s dead. Likewise, if the first three chapters are narrated by three separate characters, the reader will probably pull the plug shortly into chapter 3. (I think giving the first two chapters to two separate characters is mildly alarming, but I’ve seen it get published a few times). Having a character study his own reflection is totally amateurish in the first few chapters, but could probably be overlooked later on. I’d be nervous about a great prophecy setup, but that gets published frequently.
Which plot elements were you thinking about?
That was pretty good. Though haven’t quite finished set up on my story. I haven’t even completed the alchemical change in my main character. Right now his powers are being held by the twins sons of friends and will soon be transferred to an extended family member after the net transports him to the university hospital a fatigued and dehydrated lump.
Also I am looking for Ideas for my super villain based on Osama Bin Laden. First thing I need is a great name for the villain whose powers will be taken away and stored in containment I Cyber Druid’s lair.
Well done. A brilliant tutorial masquerading as a test. Wonderful humor. Thank you!
Drats!
Didn’t do too well. But I still think I’m right on SOME points.
I agree strongly on this: making that the MC doesn’t know (or isn’t aware) that his/her parents aren’t really theirs or that a character is secretly there half (or full)
sibling CAN tend to get a little farty. That is the last time I’ll use the term ‘farty’.
i got 30 out of 35 and an exalent
thats fantastice lol btw is it so bad for me to have a princess as a main chrater?
I answered question 20 as “no” because although Isaac and Tristram’s lineage is unclear, I can say that they are NOT royal, upper class or otherwise descended from powerful people. Their backstory will eventually be revealed, but their parents are far from any degree of nobility.
I invent the brand names and I’m going to leave Kamari and Isaac’s relationship unsolved until book three.
The only example of a cryptic mentor that I have ever liked is Auron in Final Fantasy X. I like that he isn’t just Tidus’ mentor, but also Yuna’s to a degree.
He reveals little, but when he does it’s WHAM! HOLY CRAP! He’s not annoying. He’s awesome.
“Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!” ‘Nuff said.
(Runs off to play FFX)
Hmm. The character doesn’t know who her real parents were (adopted) but it’s not an important point to the story. It probably won’t even get mentioned, because this is *years* after her birth and childhood and all that jazz. Didn’t reveal the name because it just didn’t come up… I wasn’t trying to surprise the reader, I just couldn’t think of a good way to work it in, so I had someone ask later on.
I saw the question about ‘why do they fall in love with that person’ and… er… went a bit crazy. Did a brainstorm on why and how exactly they come to love each other and why it would be that person rather than anyone else. Hate how characters fall in love because it’s ‘destined.’ (translation: Author: I couldn’t think of a good reason.)
I used one made up word which appears a few chapters into the book to refer to a prison. ‘Eloth.’ We have other names for it previously, and the name is explained in the narrative.
One conversation in my book reads like a transcript, but in the middle of brutal editing right now, so that will be taken out, have its mouth scrubbed with soap and such and made better.
I… think that’s about it. Anything to worry about?
I read a book over the weekend, The Transall Saga, and it broke a rule. Oddly, I found it acceptable. The rule was the character describes themself in a reflection. The main character, Mark, does this three time throughout the story. But he’s not decribing things like his hair color or eye color, he talks about how his body changes. From chunky to bone-skin to muscular. I found this acceptable because the story was partially about character development.
Is this acceptable?
Yay!
How to Save the World got a 91.43.
- Wings
Hey B. Mac, have you ever seen this:
http://dragonwritingprompts.blogspot.com/2006/11/fantasy-novelists-exam.html
It could be useful for some people here. Although I wouldn’t go as far as saying “answering “yes” to any one question results in failure and means that the prospective novel should be abandoned at once” it’s a useful way to avoid cliches.
I really hope #35 doesn’t mean I have to abandon my novel, because I actually wrote a few sentences yesterday. I might be recovering from my block, finally.
“I might be recovering from my block, finally.” Then keep moving forward with the story as is. I’d recommend using tests and stuff only after you’ve completed your first draft of the manuscript. If you use tests beforehand, it might make it harder for you to get your thoughts onto the page.
Also, #35– “my hero doesn’t know who his parents are at the start of the story”– is a bit cliche but still well within the bounds of publishability.
#35 is “Does your novel contain characters transported from the real world to a fantasy realm?” I was referring to the link Tom posted above.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Oof. Transporting characters from the real world to a fantasy realm is a bit of a tough sell, particularly for older readers. That said, I think it turned out pretty well in the context of your story. When you write your proposal, I think that it will be up to you to explain why modern audiences are ready for this type of book. (“Here’s a few examples where similar book concepts sold well in the past decade, and here’s a few reasons my book is better than them”).
I do not agree with David Parker’s assessment that the concept is instantly dead on arrival in the publisher’s officer. In fact, the only reason it is a cliche is because many stories have tried it and some have gotten published. There are only a few cliches that are so poisonously painful that I would instantly reject them. Notice that execution plays a huge role here.
–A bad prologue is even more dangerous than a bad first chapter. By using a prologue, you set a higher bar for yourself because we’re more removed from the story (and particularly the main character).
–Gods in disguise. I’m skeptical that there’s any way for a modern author to make this work, but it did work in Greek mythology.
–Obviously drawing on a role-playing game or video game for inspiration is a major problem. I would seriously consider dropping any manuscript that used any of the following: mana, hit points, or plate mail.
–A first-person POV that looks at his reflection in the first few chapters. Ick. This is a truly artless way for the POV to describe his appearance to the audience because it usually stalls the story. If this happens 5-10 chapters in, though, I think he might be talented enough that I could consider looking past this mistake.
–Cryptic plots are a big turn-off to me. When a mentor character tries to hide the plot from the main character, it usually feels like the author is so unconfident about the quality of his plot that he needs to hide it from me. Why would you hide a genius plot? For example, if you were dealing with a plot as awesome as City of Thieves or Rules of Engagement, the plot is a major selling point. (COT: two prisoners in the Siege of Leningrad are spared from a painful death sentence if they can find two dozen eggs for a wedding cake. ROE: two elderly aunts looking for love confuse a book about military strategy for a dating-guide. Hijinks ensue!).
When David Parker says that any LOTR rip-off can’t get published, I kind of wonder if he’s ever seen what makes the fantasy shelf. At least half of published fantasy titles bear some resemblance to LOTR, and I’d say that maybe a quarter are uncomfortably close. But readers like them anyway. Notice that Eragon became a best-seller and it wasn’t just because the author had teen sympathy.
Do you think Lord of the Rings got any inspiration from any other fantasy novels?
I think Tolkien drew heavily on Icelandic myth and (to some extent) Arthurian legends.
Hey now. #11. I used “I” and counted that as a pronoun. You didn’t. I demand more points on that quiz.
I discovered this website yesterday, and I’m planning on having the entire thing read by the end of the week. Excellent site! Thanks!
“I’m planning on having the entire thing read by the end of the week.” Best of luck! I’m glad to have you on board. That said, it might be a hectic week. We have about 1070 posts.
Thanks, but I won’t need luck. My last final is tomorrow. I’ll have oodles of time.
… WHUT?
I took this test for a laugh with one of my first Mary Sue characters and got ‘excellent.’ O_O I have no idea how that happened. It’s *not* because she was actually a good character- she was awful. Prophesied chosen one with a pretty trinket who fights evil and falls in love with a guy for no better reason than the fact that I wanted a romance. Oh- yeah. And her beginning was more Anakin Skywalker than Anakin Skywalker. (Innocent farmgirl anyone?)
(wonders how on earth she managed to get that score)
It’s because if the test graded prospective writers like a real publisher would, the test would discourage them. In the publishing industry, the bottom 99% of submissions get rejected. Yes, your story would have been rejected. Would a more honest test have helped you?
I find that prospective writers do best when we set up intermediate and attainable goals. If someone’s struggling at 50%, 80% is probably attainable. Let’s get to 80% before we mention that a really serious author has to go above and beyond that.
Ha.
I’m currently revising a piece that should be a total failure… there’s a weird mentor, prophecies, designated love interests, and more.
I think it gels.
“By the end of the third page, do we know the main character’s name?”
(Shudder) I wrote a really bad piece when I was little where I couldn’t think of a good name for the MC, so she became known as “The Girl” or “Oi, you”. Haha.
There are few places where not knowing a character’s name isn’t annoying.
(You guys are gonna hate me for this) The Doctor in Doctor Who’s name has not been revealed, even though it has had 753 episodes, tons of specials, books and spinoffs. Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who/Torchwood also uses a pseudonym, and his real name (as of season two, I haven’t seen Children of Earth yet) has not been revealed. I don’t find it annoying at all, and if their names are ever revealed I will probably fall out of my chair. Laugh if you want, I’m a fangirl and I know it. Haha.
Oh, and it also works for L, Watari, Near and Mello of Death Note. Their true names are major plot points, as Light is unable to kill them without them.
Are you following me?
Jack’s real name is never revealed, and it looks like it never will be.
) She knew his real name, so he has one, but the production team said if his real name is ever revealed it’ll lose all of the magic and mystery behind it. That means they’ll probably never reveal his true name.
As for the Doctor, he’s a good example of someone who doesn’t NEED a real name. Remember that one where he met that woman who had met him but he hadn’t met yet? (Good old time travel show
Another example of the real name being a plot point is in YuGiOh. The Pharaoh’s real name isn’t revealed until the last episode, and an entire story arc revolves around finding it, since he doesn’t know his real name and he can’t enter the afterlife without it.
(spoiler) It’s Atem. (/spoiler)
Ok. I’m cutting and pasting the last few comments to the open forum.
I just took the quiz with an 89%- Some of the things I got “wrong” may be successful elements but some of the questions were rather nebulous. Im anxious to get a review thread started so I can post up my work so far…..oh, BTW – Im new!
Hi!
This seems to be very well geared for genre writers. If I ever taught an MFA workshop this would be helpful. However, imagine telling Tolstoy to cut the characters or Virginia Woolf to do chapter breaks between POV shifts. Although, I’m sure in the current literary climate, Woolf would be published by some prestigious small press, but Tolstoy I think would have a shot at the big time.
Actually, Michael Grant’s YA series, Gone, which is about teens trapped in a town manifesting super powers, handles multiple POVs quite well. Also, he write action quite well.
I think Tom Clancy has recently used multiple POVs within a particular chapter, but I don’t remember that coming up in any of his earlier works. Publishers will give you a lot of leeway once you have a history of success.
However, if you’re an unpublished author going through the slush-pile meatgrinder, you will be judged with a lot of crude heuristics because the publishers’ assistants have to weed through thousands of manuscripts. Hopefully the PAs and editors will smile upon a really well-executed work that pulls off something difficult (like multiple POVs within a chapter)! However, often they won’t. It’s just another thing that can get the work rejected… I wouldn’t recommend risking it on your first manuscript. It might be safer to write it conventionally (ie a bit more structured like most of the works currently getting published for mass-market audiences) and then later ask the editor if he’d be okay with a few more exotic elements later.
It’s easier to get a publisher to sign off on creative risks when you’re a well-established author.
This was a very difficult test for me to take. I got an 83 without cheating which I really, really wanted to do.
Like, my main character has two mentors. One is preparing him for a destined struggle, but that struggle is manufactured and really only benefits the mentor who manufactured it in the first place. Winning *that* struggle is not what makes him heroic.
The other mentor takes on the first half of the hero’s education and is a father figure. Once he is no longer in the position of teacher, he doesn’t want to be the hero’s father figure anymore. It becomes a real point of contention in their ensuing relationship.
The hero knows who his mother is but not who his father is. It never becomes anything. His mother is a drug addicted prostitute. It never ends up as a reveal. I try to make that obvious through a conversation about not knowing who his father is. The friend thinks it’s cool because, with his mother being a prostitute, his father could be anybody, really.
Hero says he doesn’t care one whit who his father was, even if he were the most powerful man in the world. His friend asks him, basically, what if it turned out that, say, X (the most likely culprit of a darth vader reveal) has been your father all along? He responds, “I still wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t change a thing. It wouldn’t surprise me if he kept something like that a secret but I still wouldn’t care. What could that possibly change about anything?”
So what does make him heroic?
Gwen:
Like the Mary Sue Litmus test, you have to realize that these are hints of possibility that the novel is poorly-written, nothing in the test indicates the traits are 100% proof that the novel will be terrible. It’s just that inexperienced writers will have a harder time writing a decent novel with these plot devices.
For example, in a seperate story I used the test on, I answered “Yes” to the question about if there is a cryptic character. Well, I do have a character that withholds information, he’s a salesman. He’s not going to say anything about faulty wiring in the android children he’s selling, not when families are investing thousands of dollars in these artificial children. He’s not being cryptic to be cool and mysterious, he’s doing it or else his product won’t sell.
Yeah, I think that the problem with crypticism is when a character (often a mentor) withholds information for no reason other than to be dramatic. Unless there’s a good reason to withhold the truth from the protagonist, leaving your student in the dark is just stupid.
However, if there is a good reason for withholding the information, then it’ll probably work out as long as the reader has enough information to process the story. For example, Obi Wan Kenobi may have withheld the truth about Darth Vader being Luke’s father to decrease the chance that Luke would let himself be turned to the dark side. (Or, more cynically, OBK may have been hoping that Luke would kill Vader).
B. Mac,
The way he wins the ‘destined’ struggle is actually pretty despicable. Then, he figures out what the whole point of it all was. He figures out why he was taken off the streets as a child and trained to fight. He was made into a martial arts expert in a sci fi world of super advanced weaponry. The guy practically sends him to the Iraq war with a musket. There’s a reason for it. It’s how he responds to that that makes him heroic.
PaintedSaint,
I did sort of get that. But I still wanted an A. I’m that kind of idiot.
Hey, thank you so much for existing! This test is useful for reviewing some of the things that I’ve gone through with my creative writing courses, and fixing some terrible mistakes. One, or maybe two I can’t remember, of the questions that I answered – incorrectly – made me realise how carefully I have to tread while using cliche or terrible ideas. I have to go through my story more often to pick out misplaced details, or lack thereof. Reading many of your posts on this awesome site is going to help me revise my in-class story. Thanks again!
Paul, AKA Professor.
I’m glad to hear that I helped. Good luck!
Man, Dune is a really awful book according to this quiz.
Yeah, Jack.
Two questions.
Does an Irish name (O’Connor, O’Toole etc) count for apostrophes?
Does an acknowledged fostering/adoption where biologic parents aren’t interested in any contact count for real parents?
It’s shown to have left him messed up, parental rejection and childhood bullying for being the black son of white parents.
@ relative newbie
With regards to your question about Irish names, that doesn’t count as apostrophes in my mind. I think apostrophes in a name means something unnecessary. With an Irish name, that’s kind of different, right?
I think adoptive parents, if adoption is acknowledged, can definitely count as being real parents, because in real life they would act like ordinary parents. Also, sometimes not knowing who the character’s parents are can be useful; for example, having an orphan as a main protagonist is important for how their character has developed. But in the main, having unknown parents or biological parents being revealed later on in a novel is very cliched and old, unless the main theme of the novel is the adopted child searching for his/her parents.
I think real names with apostrophes are okay. However, one minor suggestion… I would recommend against using the surname as a possessive. For example, “John Smith’s cat” is okay, but “John O’Rourke’s cat” looks a bit funky even though it is grammatically correct. Fortunately, there are usually many alternatives, such as “John’s cat,” or “his cat” or whatever.
As for the character not knowing his biological parents, 1) I think it’s fine as long as he knows his adopted parents aren’t his birth parents and 2) it’s much more of a cliche in fantasy and maybe a bit in sci-fi than in fiction set in the real world. So I’m guessing you’re fine.
@ B. Mac
I think in most circumstances (especially, seeing Star Wars and Superman, in comics and sci-fi/fantasy) the “finding one’s parents” thing is over-used and, even if it had not been so frequently repeated and malused, would have gotten tired quickly anyway. I’d avoid it, full stop.
Fark! I missed some.
I just found this. It was rather fun. A lot of the questions seemed to apply to fantasy novels, so with a crime story, it was kind of hard to answer some of them. I do have a handsome anti-hero, but the girl falls for him because she’s Stockholming, so it’s not just because he’s hawt. I did a lot of research to make it realistic!!!!!
I find the Stockholm Syndrome angle very interesting. That’s a much better reason for a romance than (just) the love interest being the most attractive person in the book.
B. Mac you mentioned Eragon…That series fails this so hard its not even funny…
I’m a starting writer who is writing about a struggle of a 13-year-old boy with a bright future ahead of him, being a well-raised kid who is loved by his parents. But in the span of 24 hours, he will lose everything.
My story is basically about his long and difficult struggle towards self-redemption and his search for answers to his problems and about why that 24-hour loss of everything happened to him. It’s not exactly a fantasy story but it is more about the intertwining of his personal dramas (love, friends, etc.) and society’s dramas (poverty, abuse, etc.) that he will have to deal with simultaneously after getting kicked out of school, losing his home, his mother, his older brother, and his father’s sanity all in one day. In the course of the story, he will learn more than just the ways of the poor and he also will become a better person as he matures in this journey in his life.
Now to the point of this comment…
I need advice though on this part of my story where he checks out his reflection in the bathroom mirror and remembers that his pleasing appearance is a gift to him from his parents because his parents worked hard to save up for a plastic surgery procedure he underwent when he was 12. He was born horribly deformed. I think it’s a plot device because this is a part when he reflects on what a shame he has been to his parents and how sorry he feels for his parents once they realize that he just got himself in trouble in school again. Do you think I should cut it out?
“I’m… writing about a struggle of a 13-year-old boy with a bright future ahead of him, being a well-raised kid who is loved by his parents. But in the span of 24 hours, he will lose everything. My story is basically about his long and difficult struggle towards self-redemption…” I like the element that it goes downhill so quickly for him, but what’s a 13 year old doing that he’d really need to struggle to redeem himself for? (Unless he, say, kills his mother and older brother).
…
“It’s not exactly a fantasy story but it is more about the intertwining of his personal dramas…” If it’s written for young adults, I’d recommend submitting it as a young adult drama. I wouldn’t recommend submitting it as a fantasy unless there’s something distinctly fantastic going on (such as magic, elves, djinns, dragons, djinn-riding elven ninjas fighting mermaids, magical realism, etc).
…
In this case, I like the idea of him checking himself out in his mirror. I think it has a lot more dramatic potential than most characters that use a mirror just to show us what they look like. I think the symbolism may also play into the guilt-and-reform elements of the plot very smoothly.
I answered that my characters don’t know who their real parents are at the beginning of the book. I realize that this is cliche in most situations, but in mine, the characters have no parents. They were synthesized from cloned human DNA and then altered. Is this still cliche? Should I change it?
Alish, I think it would probably be cliche and would put pressure on your writing to distinguish itself in other ways. However, I don’t think it’s an insurmountable obstacle.
I couldn’t help myself, I answered the questions as if I were the author of ‘twilight’… yes, yes, I know. Weirdly shallow, but it bugs me how… sloppy the writing style of that book really is. And how many blatant mistakes like these it makes! It got a 51%…
This is so pedantic, but Aslan isn’t a made up word. It’s, I think, Arabic for Lion. Throwing in random foreign words isn’t much better though, although for names I don’t think it’s as big of a deal.
I’ve decided to stop work on my novel “As legends walk”. It just proved too hard for me to give life to characters when I haven’t even finished the first novel yet. So I may just return to the first novel or do something standalone.
I know when my manuscript is dead on arrival. The first one I didn’t finish is looking more and more like the one I should really be trying to concentrate on.
I’ve learned my lesson, no going off for sequels unless I’ve already finished the first novel.
Still…
Does your story have any Mary Sues? (A Mary Sue is a superpowered and idealized version of the author. One warning sign is that your main character goes through the book without doing anything you intend the audience to disapprove of. ***Another warning sign is that the character tends to get everything right on her first try).*** Biggest sign. And not in my story Isn’t an important part of the story supposed to where the characters messup and now have to start from scratch?
The problem I have with this whole “chosen one” thing is it’s normally affirmation they’ll kick everyone’s butt and possibly be inhumanely perfect and posess extraordinary powers and talents.
I have a couple “chosen one’s” (different books of course) but they’re not traditional.
Aian is the chosen wielder of the Sunstone (a magical artifact that can only be wielded elementally light people, which is considerably less than 1% the population. Most people never learn magic, or if they do just defensive spells. Light is powerful because it augments your abilitied to cast other sorts of magic. People have a dominant magic they can cast and defend, if any at all, and one they’re less talented at/ more vulnernerable against. Then there’s the other two elements that are in between. Having light or dark powers makes all of your 4 elemental magics as good as your best. You’re born one of the four natural elements, or light a cosmic element. The other Cosmic elements are Darkness and Aether. You can become a Dark sorcerer later if that’s the path you choose. People that pursue it are rarely inherently bad, they may just think they’re disciplined enough to keep it in control and see no other way to fix things. Nothing bad will happen if I do it once. Ok, I kind of need it this second time too…
Aether is inherent in all of us- it is the substance of our soul (beyond the Natural Element or light) and pretty much any magic that can’t be accomplished by the other six is either accomplished with aether or not at all. I don’t feel like getting into it right now…
This by no means makes up for not studying and honing your craft as any experienced Sorcerer is likely to defeat a novice even if all five are at his best. With the sunstone his chances improve but really its practice. Though they do have a better aptitude for magic and learn it faster so catching up won’t be impossible.
Point is, he’s sort of chosen for greatness by a glowing rock and then the community at large (he’s just a poor miner who went out to the fair to see his cousin Delyth (actual Welsh name, not made up)) but he isn’t the only one who would qualify so it’s not “The One”. And being the one wielder of the Sunstone means King Gwythyr will have all his men out looking for him as will the Rebellion’s leader the king’s jealous younger brother Heddwyn who by the way got him started on black magic and really just wants to control the sunstones keeper long enough to get the throne and then dispose of him.
Sorry, I haven’t even mentioned this story’s existance in years and now its mad at me.
I just permanently shelved that story because the characters didn’t make sense to me. I let side characters take up too much of the story, and found that some were just getting too whiny. Also, I wasn’t able to consistently keep their ‘character’ constant or at least on a reasonable progression through the pace of the story.
1) Multiple point-of-view characters: Yes. It’s epic/heroic fantasy! Multiple-POV is expected. I was proud of myself for cutting it down to four major POV characters, plus a few others for a handful of necessary scenes where none of the primary four are present, or where another perspective provides useful information to the reader. One of the four (the first) is the clear MC.
2) Change POV mid-chapter: Yes, but not mid-scene.
14) One character has an apostrophe, yes. It’s to show that the syllable-break isn’t in the place a native English speaker would put it. (The other names don’t require an apostrophe in order to be spelled for an English speaker to read phonetically).
20) Nothing unclear (other than in a mundane way), “glorious”, or “mysterious”. But what’s wrong with including a royal character or two? They are going to be in a position to be making a lot of important decisions (with both intended and unintended consequences). It’s not about “lineage”, it’s about “who’s going to be present at the interesting parts of the story?” and “who has the interesting inner and outer conflicts going on?”
23) The first two I did, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.
1) Why do the villains need to be defeated at the end of the first book? So no, those story threads aren’t resolved yet!
2) They just met! There isn’t a “romance” to resolve yet!
3) The main story threads wrap up (it’s a complete book with a beginning, middle, and end, with several lives and interpersonal relationships changed substantially, and resolution to the conflicts that were given the most attention in the book. The three surviving major-POV characters have undergone noticeable change. The fourth had a life-changing plot-arc as well; unfortunately, it was fatal). Background threads are just getting started, however.
28) More than that *present*, or more than that being *focused on*? Yes, there are fights with (well) more than four people participating, but since we’re limited to what the current POV character (who’s generally rather pre-occupied, being in the middle of a life-and-death fight and all) is noticing. I don’t see a problem with this.
34) Well, it depends on how you define “Barbarian”. Technically, a barbarian is someone who doesn’t speak ancient Greek. (I know, I know, no one likes a smart-ass). There’s no one who would describe themselves as a “ferocious barbarian”, but (if we ignore the Greek meaning) there are characters who might make that accusation against other characters. There’s no stand-in for Conan, however — which is what I think this question was actually asking, so I went ahead and answered “none of the above”.
Got 83 out of 100
You may want to make the answers less obvious. Most all of the correct answers are “No.”
Thanks for your advice. I found it very hard to write questions about things likely to kill a manuscript without making the best answer obvious. That said, on some of these, I could rewrite the questions to be less obviously slanted. For example, “Does the narrator or POV character hide critical information from readers just to ‘surprise’ us?” could be written as “Does the narrator or POV character hide critical information from readers mainly to surprise them?” (At some point, I’ll make a big change, but I try not to do relatively minor ones because ProProfs wipes out the answer results every time the test changes).
PS: Because I was only allowed to have one correct answer for each question, I had to lump in “not applicable” with the correct answer every time it came up.