Archive for August, 2007

Aug 31 2007

The Iraq-Comic Book Connection, Part Two

Published by under Art,Comedy,Commentary,News

I provide advice about how to write novels, comic books and graphic novels. Most of my content applies to fiction-writing in general, but I also provide articles specifically about superhero stories.

The Washington Post described a meeting between two Congressmen, Jim Moran (D-Va.) and John Porter (R-Nev.), and the Iraqi national security advisor.

the three were trying to discuss the state of Iraqi security forces with [the NSA], but the large, flat-panel television set facing the official proved to be a distraction. [The NSA] was watching children’s cartoons.

When Moran asked him to turn it off, [he] protested with a laugh and said, “But this is my favorite television show,” Moran recalled.

Porter confirmed the incident, although he tried to paint the scene in the best light, noting that at least they had electricity.

It would be easy to criticize the NSA for prioritizing cartoons over two Congressmen. All things considered, it was probably a shrewd assessment. At least cartoons end.

That must be horribly awkward for both Congressmen. The Democrat has to act multilateral with an ally that obviously isn’t interested; the Republican has to make it look like supporting Maliki’s government advances US interests.

To commemorate this fine moment of US-Iraqi relations, I’ve slapped something together.

Showing US Taxpayers Who’s Boss

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Aug 31 2007

Real Life Imitates Comic Books

Published by under Uncategorized

Anyone who reads comic books knows that weird stuff happens in New York. A lot. A spaceship randomly crashes into Earth? Central Park or maybe the Brooklyn Bridge. A rampaging lizard is born in a nuclear test site? Why wouldn’t he come to New York? One guy left alive on Earth? Probably a New Yorker.

It should not surprise us that Iraq’s WMDs have been found… in New York.

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Aug 24 2007

Writing Titles that Sell (Novels and Chapters)

Published by under Titles,Writing Articles

This article will cover how to write novel titles that sell and when/how to name your chapters.

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Aug 23 2007

Comic Book Conundrums

Inquiring minds want to know:

  • Supervillain prisons. Why have them?
  • How does Superman keep getting movie deals?
  • Why don’t Superman’s movie deals stipulate the presence of a supervillain?
  • Lex Luthor: brilliant mastermind or government plant? His most brilliant schemes endanger fewer people than a fully loaded Yugo. And he gets pardoned FAR too often for it to be a coincidence.
  • Who is Captain America working for? He couldn’t cover the security deposit on that cavernous NYC apartment with an Army paycheck.
  • WWII time-travel. Aren’t any WWII time-travelers gunning for Hitler? Would assassinating Hitler doom the Allies by letting someone sane lead German forces? (Hitler: Allied plant?)
  • Time travel. “Dr. Demented escaped into the time-space continuum. He could be anywhere.” “No problem. I’ll start at 1939, you start at 1945 and we’ll catch him somewhere in the middle.”
  • Supervillains have attempted to influence WWII at least twenty different times in the past fifty years. Presumably, supervillains will keep trying. Wouldn’t superheroes from our present cross paths with superheroes from our future that are pursuing their own supervillains in WWII?
  • The Hulk: why does he still get published?
  • Invisible Woman: dumbest Ph. D. ever?
  • Beast. Reptile. Catastrophe. Donatello. Aren’t there any animals/monstrosities that are less intelligent than the Invisible Woman? Why do said animals typically wear more clothes than the Invisible Woman?

Comic Books: Hot and NotHer main asset isn't being invisible.

  • Lois Lane: “How many F’s are there in catastrophe?” How did she win a Pulitzer?
  • Static Shock’s sidekick, the white gadgeteer (AKA Gear, AKA Whitey, AKA Chunky McGee). What, a black person can’t be smart enough to make gadgets?
  • What is the fascination with supervillains (and sometimes heroes) running for president?
  • Did Savage Dragon run for VP because he realized how useless he was?
  • How could Lex Luthor POSSIBLY win the presidency? Voters regularly write candidates off because they’re Mormon, divorced or inexperienced. But, you know…a supervillain… I guess I could give him another chance…
  • What was the reasoning behind making an Ant-Man movie?
  • Dr. Hank Pym, Ant-Man, Shrinking Violet. Why haven’t they learned that intelligent people don’t shrink themselves? That’s why supervillains build shrink rays.
  • What the hell is going on in NYC? Judging from comic books, at least 90% of the world’s supernatural events happen there, including regular influxes of tan New Yorkers from alternate dimensions where NYC is apparently devoid of black people (the Friends Effect).

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