Jan 14 2008

Five Ways to Write Intense Fight Scenes (Superhero and Fantasy)

I provide advice about how to write novels, comic books and graphic novels. Most of my content applies to fiction-writing in general, but I also provide articles specifically about superhero stories.

This article will teach you how to write exciting fights.

1. Immerse us in the scene. Engage as many senses as possible, particularly the visceral ones (touch, smell, taste). For example, if the supervillain dropkicks his sister, you could work with the impact he feels, the impact she feels, the secondary impact of her slamming into something else, possibly the smell and/or taste of blood, and anything related to the superpowers of either. (Dropkicking the Human Torch should be a different experience than The Thing or Reed Richards).

 

Additionally, avoid anything that makes your readers wonder what’s happening. It may help to create a diagram of the scene so that you know what’s happening. One frequent area of confusion is how far away the characters are from each other.

 

2. Don’t put in too many characters. Each additional character dilutes the fight and makes it harder to visualize the fight in real-time. I’d recommend capping your fights to 2-4 combatants at a time. If you want more fighters, I’d recommend writing the battle as a series of more limited duels rather than a battle royale with tons of fighters. If you have too many characters in a fight, it will probably lead to a fight that flits between each character, not sticking around long enough to show them doing anything interesting. (See Soon I Will Be Invincible).

 

3. Unlike comic books and movies, a novel does not accomplish much by having the hero mow down waves of faceless henchmen or creatures. A novelist doesn’t have visual special effects to show off. The main advantage of a novel is that its length allows it to sustain a deeper plot and better-developed characters. Fighting anonymous and hopeless enemies does not play to these strengths.

 

4. Be creative. How do your characters interact with the scenery? Brainstorm a few items or props that are in the scene and try to work in a few when a combatant gets desperate. Using props helps remind readers that the characters aren’t fighting in a vacuum.

 

Also, try to have your hero use his powers in an unexpected way. We’ll expect a shapeshifting hero to copy a guard or the villain to infiltrate the villain’s lair and rescue his girlfriend. But we’d be more surprised if he copied his girlfriend and got captured in her place.

 

5. Let your hero improvise. Throw a few wrenches in his carefully laid plans. If your supervillain really is a genius, surely he will anticipate some of the things your hero will try and prepare accordingly. (The forcefield generators will be within the forcefields, dammit!)

 

6. Be suspenseful. These elements should help.

–Stealth and desperation. Typically, heroic efforts that are stealthy and/or desperate are more suspenseful because any false step could result in failure. In contrast, it’s less suspenseful for a hero to barrel into the villain’s lair because readers know that there’s no chance a faceless mook will kill the hero. But the faceless mook actually DOES present some risk to a stealthy hero that cannot afford to be seen–it’s still not likely that the mook will stop the hero, but he could alert somebody that might.

–Ticking clocks. If the hero has 15 minutes to defuse the bomb or two days to stop the villain from taking over the world, that adds urgency to the plot. My favorite example of this was D.O.A., where the main character gets fatally poisoned and has to solve his own murder.

–Strong side-characters. If we feel for the damsel-in-distress, we’d care a lot more whether the hero can rescue her. We’re more likely to feel for her if she’s well-developed and has a distinct personality. I recommend looking at Teri Hatcher’s Lois Lane in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

–Suicidally determined heroes. If the audience knows that the hero’s only goal is beating the villain–not coming home alive–then it raises more doubt about whether he will survive. Whether he does or not, there will be more suspense. I’d recommend checking out Pacific Rim here.

 

7. Keep it as short as possible. Generally, fights should be the climax of their chapters, rather than the bulk. Dragging out a fight scene for pages typically feels pretty tedious. The worst-case scenario is that the fight will feel like a scrolling list of hits the hero and villain are landing on each other. I’d recommend checking out the last 20 minutes of Man of Steel here. Failure.

185 responses so far

185 Responses to “Five Ways to Write Intense Fight Scenes (Superhero and Fantasy)”

  1. Rebeccaon 13 Sep 2008 at 7:20 am

    Another thing I think is important in superhero fighting scenes is that you don’t say something like “It was as if time slowed down.” In a real fight with fists and feet flying in every direction do you really think that it would feel as time slowed down? No. Now if your character is in the middle of the fight and time slows down because he has that power and didn’t know it thats different, but a little *cough* extremely *cough* carried away. Unless your character JUST got their powers they probably know them by now.

  2. Con 05 Oct 2008 at 11:08 pm

    “In a real fight with fists and feet flying in every direction do you really think that it would feel as time slowed down?”

    Actually, adrenaline really does have that effect on some people– making everything seem to slow down. For other people it’s the opposite; everything feels like it’s moving too fast, and they can’t react quickly enough. The latter would certainly be an interesting weakness in a superhero…

  3. Dr. Mallowon 05 Oct 2008 at 11:20 pm

    “For other people it’s the opposite; everything feels like it’s moving too fast…” Adrenaline can slow down your reflexes? That’s very interesting from an evolutionary perspective. I wonder which conditions would make it advantageous to have slow reflexes. I’m more familiar with the standard cliche that survivors of near-death experiences will say that their lives “flashed before their eyes”. Adrenaline can induce intense mental activity and quicken reflexes, to facilitate the fight-or-flight response. In some cases the burst of energy and dopamine lead to a manic state, which may explain the origins of the phrase “trigger-happy” and Winston Churchill’s contention that “nothing is as exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

    As for explaining heavy-adrenaline scenes in fiction, I find it believable to either describe it from an observer’s detached perspective (a crazy flurry of punches and kicks) or from the character’s adrenaline-fueled perspective, which would process the same events at a slower and more manageable pace. Another consideration how well-trained the character has been. Many times, a soldier explaining how he responded under fire will say that his training “kicked in.” Experienced soldiers likely have better reflexes and you may also wish to consider the possibility that a soldier’s reaction to being fired upon is mostly subconscious.

  4. Ragged Boyon 28 Oct 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Even though I probably won’t, say I chose to write a novel instead of a comic. How could I effectively describe Sketch using his power. I know his superpowers probably don’t work well for a novel but could you give me a short fighting or action sequence that would effectively show him using his powers.

    It would probably be extremely difficult, try anyway anything will help. Just use any object you want him to summon that’s convenient.

  5. B. Macon 28 Oct 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Hmm, that’s a good question. I’ll come up with a page, but I’d like to do it justice. Check back in 2-3 days.

  6. Ragged Boyon 02 Nov 2008 at 9:37 am

    Have you started the page? or are you too busy? I can wait. This is just a reminder.

  7. B. Macon 02 Nov 2008 at 10:44 am

    I got sidetracked by a thesis deadline but am still working on it.

  8. Ragged Boyon 15 Nov 2008 at 8:12 pm

    If you haven’t already, you can quit the page. Unless you haven’t, in which case I would like to see it.

  9. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 18 Nov 2008 at 5:29 pm

    How can I write a scene where Isaac is simply disarming someone, rather than kicking butt and getting his butt kicked? In one part he gets a gun shoved into his face, and I want him to make the guy drop it. How can I do that? Thanks!

  10. Ragged Boyon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:03 pm

    What exactly are Isaac’s powers?

  11. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:08 pm

    He has increased intelligence (but is not a genius), can run a bit faster and is a bit stronger than most guys his age (but this isn’t often used). His main abilities are mental. He can turn the air around him into energy, and is able to direct it at people or objects in order to knock them backwards. He also fires it outwards to fly.

  12. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:11 pm

    I haven’t had cause for any major fight scenes yet, just one where he’s fending off some school bullies and one where he simply disarms a robber (which is what I need help with). But I’m keeping an archive of descriptions and basic fights to drop in when I need them. I just wrote this:

    “Well, well, well,” he said, cracking his knuckles and picking up a poker from the old-fashioned fireplace. I felt my eyes widen as he swung it through the air and cracked it down onto the table next to me. A loud ringing noise was produced as the wood was dented by the tip. “It seems I have the upper hand.”

    I raised my arm and shook my head. “Nope, my hand’s higher than yours. I win.”

    I now realise that it was a very stupid mistake, because in the next instant Kade had smashed my forearm with it, sending pain rocketing through my nerves. I couldn’t ignore this one, screeching in agony. I stepped back and quickly examined myself by pulling my sleeve up, seeing a purple bruise forming. It didn’t seem to be broken, but all my adrenaline made it hard to distinguish between anything but who my enemy was.

    What do you think?

  13. Ragged Boyon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Makes since to me, then again I don’t know much about fight scenes. Here one from the top of my head, just because!

    I backed away frantically, until I felt the cold touch of the brick wall behind me. Dead end. There was no water in sight, or at least not any healthy water. I was going to have to transform if I was going to conjure some water . “It’s time you little kids learn to mind your business” the thug said with a growl. He and his posse were drawing ever closer, I had to hurry. Scales formed from my skin as the peculiar, yet familiar feeling tingled through my body.

    “What are you?!” the thugs stepped back poised to run away .”Sorry, you’re not getting of that easily” I said, letting out a mighty yell, a torrent of pure water gushed from my mouth. Always works, the alley had been washed out when I was done, but I wasn’t done. This guy had brought reinforcements and they weren’t as afraid of my aquatic as most people.

    I tried to establish a character voice, but it sounded pretty generic, I think.

    Suggestions? Opinions?

  14. Ragged Boyon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:42 pm

    I could have probably remove the line about having to transform to conjure water, and I probably need a filler sentence between “water gushed from my mouth ‘and’ Always works, it feels to quick (I think).

  15. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 18 Nov 2008 at 6:56 pm

    I think it’s okay, but maybe you could describe the looks on the thugs’ faces. Like: “I grinned in amusement as their aggressive expressions became looks of horror, and they looked about ready to run”. As for a filler sentence, how about: “The water rushed outwards, splashing against them and knocking them off their feet”. If it’s very powerful, maybe something about them getting dragged away for a small distance before getting up and calling for reinforcements.

  16. Ragged Boyon 19 Nov 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Wow, looking back over my fight scene, it needs alot of revision. But then again most pieces need to be fleshed out and redone, so I don’t feel bad about the mistakes.

  17. Ragged Boyon 23 Nov 2008 at 1:36 pm

    They’re trying to make me into a Critters critiquer, maybe I’ll do it, it would be something to do at least. I’m not very interested or invested in the site though.

  18. Ragged Boyon 23 Nov 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Wow, that’s alot of reading, 17,000 words. Geez Loiuse!!

  19. B. Macon 23 Nov 2008 at 2:43 pm

    As a younger writer, I was never enthused to get advice like “read everything!”, but one of the things that I’ve come to appreciate is how much reading develops an author’s writing skills.

  20. Bretton 30 Nov 2008 at 8:27 pm

    The following is intended to be partly humorous and is written purely for amusement and will not be part of my book.

    ———————————-

    Alex surveyed the marketplace, breathing the crisp autumn air. He felt like king of the world. Just today he had bullied 6 merchants and caused the inexplicable explosions of 3 fruit stands: a new personal best. “That’ll show those prejudiced humans,” he thought.

    Alex then left the marketplace and headed out of town, towards the Nuba river. As he approached the bank, he saw a strange figure sitting beside the water. Alex drew his sword, and called him out.

    “Who are you? Stand and face me!”

    ————————
    Normally my narration would be better, but I don’t feel like making it floury, so lets cut to the chase. Also, all powers your character has or will have may be used, even if they haven’t come up in story yet, with 2 conditions:

    1. We should have some kind of order/escalation rule.
    i.e. we start with the power level our characters have at the beginning and increase. No skipping.
    2. Please, nothing too ridiculous. What’s too ridiculous? Alex setting the entire earth on fire, or taking control of the sun would be too ridiculous. Use your judgment.

    Let’s do this!

  21. Ragged Boyon 30 Nov 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Adrian stood up hearing the call of another young boy. He looked up at the boy pulling his feet out of the cool clean water. “Adrian is my name, and if you don’t know it now, you will later. I’m going to be famous one day” he said standing up and putting his shoes back on.

    “I don’t know who you are or what’s up with that hair color and ears, but you need to get that sword out of my face” he said moving the blade aside.

    “Oh you must be an half alien like me, what’s the matter can’t control your transformations” he teased.

    “Whatever, I’ve got a monologue to rehearse, no time for you kid!” he said turning away to leave.

  22. Bretton 30 Nov 2008 at 8:51 pm

    “I’m a half-elf, actually. And I’m not finished talking to you yet.” Alex waved his had, barring Adrian’s way with a wall of fire.

    “Let’s talk, ‘kid’. Why are you here, what’s an alien, and what on earth are you wearing?”

  23. Bretton 30 Nov 2008 at 8:52 pm

    well, his “hand” obviously. Not his “had” whatever the heck that is.

  24. Ragged Boyon 30 Nov 2008 at 9:32 pm

    “Look up, dummy” Adrian pointed up to the sky

    “Aliens are a bunch of creatures that live in space, I’m a half one. Elves?! What, are you gonna bake cookies inside a tree?” he teased again with a laugh.

    “My clothes, this is called style, I see this city has never heard of that. And as for my reason of being here that’s none of your business. Get that stupid fire away from me, I’m drying up!!!” Adrian flicks his wrist, releasing him chemicals, the water shoots from the river dousing the fire wall.

    “You’re not the only one with tricks, so don’t try to upstage me!!” Adrian walks over to Alex glaring in his face. “Stage is set, make a move buddy.”

  25. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 4:27 am

    “Have you ever heard of spontaneous human combustion? I assure you its quite painful!” Alex engulfed his sword in fire and slashed the air, sending an arc of flame towards Adrian. He followed up with several firebursts as he advanced toward his new nemesis.

    “Fire and Water. This should be fun.”

  26. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 7:13 am

    “Hah, fire, no problem” Adrian brings up a wall of water stopping the the fire, the steam evaporated from the wall

    “Gotcha now!!” Adrian said turning the steam from the wall into thin water needles, firing them at Alex, along with a stream of focus water beams.

    “Human combustion?!, hah, try dying of tremendous water pressure”

  27. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 8:14 am

    Alex shot up into the air on a jet of flame, stalled, and then plummeted to the groud, unleashing a wave of fire that evaporated Adrian’s conjurations. (couldn’t think of a better word.)

    “Been there, done that. Your tactics are starting to remind me of Kiturah. Nice try, but no cigar!” Alex sho a fireball that exploded in midair, sending a wave of heat and concussive force toward Adrian. “Exit stage right kid!”

  28. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 8:16 am

    *Note: FYI, Kiturah is Karen’s little sister. Her powers are water-based, but she’s not on level with Alex and Karen.*

  29. B. Macon 01 Dec 2008 at 8:50 am

    Hey, Brett, check your forum when you get the chance. I’m probably 75% done with the review of your rewrite.

  30. Flarebladeon 01 Dec 2008 at 1:03 pm

    “I don’t know who Kiturah is, but she ain’t got nothin on my skills” Adrian said propelling upwards on a water spout. The spout absorbed the concussive blast and fire, abruptly faltering and then reforming in a spiral. “Can Kiturah do this? I call them mist clones” Adrian said as the water spout dissipated into a thick fog, engulfing the fighting area. While in the fog Adrian made a series of water clones the same color as the mist. Under the heavy cover of the fog, the clones circled Alex moving in to attack.

    “You won’t even see them coming!”

  31. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Oops, that last comment was me, not Flareblade.

  32. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 1:57 pm

    “I don’t have to see them coming. You can’t hit what you can’t touch.” Alex rode into the air on a jet of flame, soaring above the battfield. He then easily picked off the water clones from above. He then absorbed the heat from the ground below, condensing the fog into liquid water.
    “Lets review,” He said with a smirk, hovering above Adrian. “I’m capable of true flight. You’re not. I just dissipated your fog and eliminated your distractions. And now I will take my power to the next level.” Alex shot down toward the ground, unleashing a wave of fire upon landing. He then perfomed a series of wuick hand motions, creating a swirling pillar of fire that he launched toward Adrian.

    “Counter that!”

  33. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 3:36 pm

    “Next level ,huh” Adrian said diving into the river. Almost as soon as he dived in, he shot out of the water in his transformed state inside of a thick water spout. “I’ll show ya next level” he and a series of water spout rushed towards the charging opponent. “I may not be able to fly, but I can swim in the air” Adrian said, the water spouts collided with the smaller waves of fire. Adrian winched as the fire pillar drew closer to his great water wave. Just before the pillar and water spout clash, Adrian branched out of the larger spout into a smaller one rocketing towards Alex.

    “Your fire is nothing, it’s you I want” he said preparing his sharp scaled tail for the emmenent clash.

    Note:
    In his alien form, Adrian still has legs, he’s not a merman. He has one tail that sprouts into three smaller tails vertically attached by webbing. The tail sprouts from his lower back and can easily wrap around him twice. Just helping with the imagery.

  34. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 4:46 pm

    “Impressive. Most impressive.” Alex dodged to the side and vaulted over Adrian, firing shafts of flame down below, with minimal results.

    “Your new form is…interesting, but it will not avail you!” Alex attempted to blow Adrian away with a huge combustive blast, but was greeted only with a small spark. He then realized that the sun was setting, and the moon was rising.

    “No! Not now! AAAAGHH!!” As the day turned to night, Alex’s brown eyes turned blood red, and black fur began to spread over his body. “I cannot contain the SAVAGERY!!!” Alex roared, releasing himself from the bonds of humanity(well half anyway), and plunging himself into his new lupine form. He howled at the moon. When he spoke, his voice was lower and more snarling than before. “The night my have robbed me of my fire and my original form, and the moon may grant you power, but when life gives you lemons, beat the crap out of somebody!” Alex walked over to the nearest tree and ripped it from the ground with his newfound strength. He then hurled it toward Adrian like a javelin. “I’m a vegetarian, but have a kabob!”

    —————–
    To visualize: Alex is now a human/wolf lycanthrope with black fur and blood red eyes. He gains superstrength, supersenses (nightvision, hearing, smell, etc.), speedm and reflexes in this state, but loses his fire powers. He is also slightly more savage.

  35. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 5:09 pm

    “Wow, and I thought you couldn’t get uglier”Adrian said “You are right though in the moonlight my power is increases” his scales turned from pearlescent blue to to a polished silver color that gleamed with with slime in the moonlight. Adrian jetted to the side his arm harshly grazing the tree, causing him to lose focus and his water spout fell dropping him to the ground.

    He strained to pick himself up “Lucky shot” he smirked at Alex “Well if you can’t contain your savagery, maybe I can” from his pores, his body sprayed a thick sheen of extremely sticky paste at Alex.

    “I mean how savage can you be if you can’t move?” he said charging on foot behind his wall of paste towards Alex.

  36. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Alex grabbed another tree and vaulted over the wall of paste, landing and swinging furiously at Adrian.

    “I have faced dragons, shades, and morbidly vengeful would-be girlfriends. I cannot be stopped!” he shouted. He then brazenly leaped toward adrian and prepared to execute several close-range melee attacks.

  37. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 6:58 pm

    ” Oh yeah, well I’ve faced killer thugs, killer aliens, and the killer school system, I’m ready for anything” Adrian conjured water claws for him hands “The moon will definitely help me for this part” he conjured two very accurate water clones equipped with water claws.

    “Bring it, biatch!!” the clones and Adrian triangulated Alex attacking with their claws and tails, forcing Alex into defense.

    _______________________

    Can we have our character hitting each other? I think that would add to the fight. No instant kills though.

  38. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Sure.
    ———————–
    Alex slashed through the water clones and barreled toward Adrian with full force and determination. He grabbed him and threw him up into the air, hurling him as far away as possible from the river. He then shot after him, running like a gazelle.

    “I will separate you from your source of power.”

  39. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Adrian recovered in the air using his tail as a buffer when he landed on the ground in the market. “What makes you think that was the source of my powers” he said with a sneer. “I’ll show you MY power.”

    He opened his mouth upward to the sky and a gushing stream of water blasted out raining down over the market in a series of needles creating a thick dome of death, he then focused his needle spray towards the charging Alex.

    “There’s no escape now, face it!!” Adrian gurgled. His eyes widened as his scales began to flicker, his DNA was going unstable, he had to hurry.

  40. Bretton 01 Dec 2008 at 8:35 pm

    Alex heard and saw the approaching needles, and racked his brain for a plan. He quickly dodged between the sharp spikes, relying on his lupine instincts and reflexes to ensure his safety. He drew his sword, which he had almost forgotten about, and began slashing through the curtain of ice. He then felt weak, and slightly dizzy as a tingle crept over his body. He fell. He noticed the rain of ice slackening, and turned his attention to the horizon. It was dawn. The savage wolf form faded away, and as day broke, Alex felt all at once the fatigue of fighting through the long night hours. But then, the sun rose, and in it Alex found new strength as the rain of ice continued to grow weaker. Alex stood, smiling. Though the man-wolf was gone, Alex had retained the red eyes.

    “You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun!” Alex enveloped his body and sword in flame, effortlessly melting through the icy spikes which had before seemed so threatening.
    “Now, let’s try this again,” he said, clapping his hands together to release a huge explosion upon Adrian.

  41. Ragged Boyon 01 Dec 2008 at 9:18 pm

    ” Aah!!” Adrian yelled out the strain on his DNA was too high “Jimelly warned be of this.” Adrian began to morph furiously sprouting all sorts of weird appendiges before finally exploding and reforming into an ancient Akarion (his half-alien race). The ancient Akarions were far superior to the current breed of them,they were cover by a special water, Adrian lost his mind in the form. He stood and embraced the attack head on, exploding in to a puddle of water. He stayed in the liquified state moving to alex at high speed, slashing at him vigorously, before moving back and reforming.

    “The living water is the strongest of all water” Adrian said in two voices. “No, not like this, I can beat him” Adrian fought the alien, but couldn’t win.

    “Prepare to die, child” he said leaning in and practically teleporting to Alex Slashing at him with water claws.

  42. Bretton 02 Dec 2008 at 4:38 am

    Alex was thrown by the attack, as well as this new form of his new adversary. He quickly encircled himself in a protective orb of fire, like a miniature sun, thwarting the attacks. He lashed out sporadically with flares and fire whips, holding his ground, and waiting.

    “That creature is controlling his mind. If there is any hope to free him of it, or for me to win, I will need Maesirturon’s help. I must remain here until he arrives and pray that my power does not run too low.”

    ————————————-
    Maesirturon- Ales’s phoenix guide, one of the Three Guardians.

  43. Ragged Boyon 02 Dec 2008 at 7:09 am

    “Free me! I’m one with this boy. If you get rid of me you will kill him too” the creature said laughing. He spun up a ball of water like a miniature moon, and began to clash with Alex’s sun. “Stupid alien, I can beat this kid” Adrian began to rip from the alien pushing away as he was violently lashed with water. “And I don’t need your help” Adrian looked at Alex furiously. “This body is mine” the water ball began to jerk violently ripping apart Adrian from his alien overtaker. The water fell and Adrian knelt on the ground in his original alien form, he had won the inner battle, but the battle here was just getting good. “See, told ya I can beat it, thanks for the concern, but no thanks” Adrian stod fatigued and battered, but his will to fight was still strong.

    “As you can see, you’re winning so far, but now it’s time to change the tides”. Adrian cast up a large fog covering the entire market area. he fog cleared Adrian and Alex stood in the heart of New Harbor City atop a large bridge over the Harbor River. “Your in my world now” Adrian conjured up a great water dome over the entire bridge, locking Alex into his opposite environment. “And with this high amount of water vapor in the air, I can fly” Adrian created water whips that lashed Alex back and forth before flying in for close combat.”I’ll admit you had me on the rope, but now your ass is grass!!!”

  44. Bretton 02 Dec 2008 at 8:38 am

    The dampness made it difficult for Alex to generate a flame, so instead he superheated his sword blade and resulted to melee combat, dodging, weaving, and striking with the red-hot blade.

    Alex then recoiled and realigned himself into an elvish fighting stance. He spoke one word: “Brethir.” His eyes flashed red as he threw himself into the rapid, wolflike movements of a martial arts style all his own. He slashed, parried, and lunged, slicing the water whips as they came near him…except one that he didn’t quite see coming. Alex grunted as he fell to the ground. He got up and reassessed the situation. His blade returned to its normal silver sheen.

    “This environment favors you, but I have one more trick up my sleeve. Your strength is also your weakness.” Alex held his sword in both hands, preparing to use it to channel an attack that he had only ever used once before. {Water conducts electricity}, he thought. {Electricity is a combination of light and fire energy. If I can generate a lightning bolt large enough, the battle will be mine.} Alex relaxed into another elvish stance, and was bathed in a fiery red aura. He knew that attempting this attack was dangerous without Karen to balance it, but he had to try. Electricity crackled around his body as he channeled the energy through his arms and into the sword, using it as a proxy. He could take no chances without Karen present. Soon he had charged enough energy.

    “Now fry!” Alex released the energy, which leaped toward Adrian through the mist as a bolt of lightning, striking him full force. Alex slumped, leaning on his sword for balance. The attack had left him weak. His hands were badly burned and his sword was destroyed.

    Alex looked down at his scarred hands. “They will heal soon enough. That’s one benefit of being half-elvish. But I may not last much longer without a sword. Let’s hope divine beings can do cross-dimensional travel, because I’m going to need Maesirturon’s help for this one.”
    ———————–
    Brethir is the elvish word for wolf, which Alex uses to invoke his signature fighting style. It is a form of Jioniskor (elvish martial art), but not a “legitimate” or recognized form because Alex invented it himself.

  45. Ragged Boyon 02 Dec 2008 at 1:30 pm

    The bolt fried Adrian, singing his scales to a rugged brown, he fell to the dead. His vision blurred as he watched the kneeling Alex. “Damn, I’m passing out” Adrian said “What’s you name kid, you’re prety awesome with that fire”. “It’s Alex, and your use of water is quite exemplary” Alex said “I’m Adrian and–” he was interrupted by a powerful gust of black wind.

    “Hello boy, I’m Master Iggy and reviewing you talents I’d love to recruit you in the Cyborn Moon Alliance”

    Jimelly told me about him “No! we won’t join you, jerk” Adrian protested.

    “What does he speak of” Alex asked.

    “The Cyborn Moon is an alliance that goes aroun destroying planet for some ‘greater good’ “Adrian explained.

    “Destroying planets?! we won’t join, in fact, have you heard of human combustion, I assure it’s quite painful” Alex said standing up in his elvish fighting stance. “Vaichar!!” he yelled jetting into the air towards the distant Master Iggy. As he flew he was quickly joined by a stream of water carrying Adrian. “I don’t know much about you, but you can fight and ya seem smart, lets do this”. The two charged towards Iggy for battle.

    ______________________________
    I do still want the fight to go on, I just didn’t want either character to lose.

    Master Iggy is extremely strong and fast as well as psychotic. He controls black wind and an explosive purple energy, he can teleport, and summon Mohawk ladies for attacking.

    It’s time for the team action to begin.

    The Fiery Pheonix and Moonlight Serpentine team up against the Pstchotic Megalomaniac!!!

  46. Bretton 02 Dec 2008 at 1:56 pm

    Awesome!

  47. Bretton 02 Dec 2008 at 2:08 pm

    At that moment, a majestic shriek pierced the air. Alex looked up to see a bright red firgure shooting through the air. It resembled a bird.

    “Maesirturon! You have come to aid me,” Alex said.

    “Yes hatchling,” The bird said in a awe-inspiring voice that strangely resembled Liam Neeson. “Time and space are meaningless limitations for a servant of the divine. I came as soon as I sensed you were in gravest danger. This ‘Iggy’ being is bound by a thread of evil that reaches across dimensions to Valigroth himself. You must aid Adrian in his quest if you have any hope to complete your own. As long as either of these threats stand, both will.”

    “Yes master. Now, let us merge to defeat this villain.” After this, Alex and Maesirturon merged their very essences into one being. A being surrounded by a fire redder, hotter, and purer than any other in existence. A winged, angelic being wielding a great golden broadsword. Alex and Maesirturon had merged into the Fire of Zhudai.

    “Now then Adrian, unleash your true form that we may do battle with this mortal.”

    Adrian assumed his alien form and said, “__________”.
    ———————————-
    You can fill in the blank, I don’t know how to write Adrian exactly. Take it away and break a leg! : )

  48. Ragged Boyon 02 Dec 2008 at 6:24 pm

    The water that had fell on the bridge stood on end as did the water in the river, Adrian released him final water influencing chemical. The water wrapped itself around Adrian, entering evey pore on his body his body his alien form was truly the greatest. He evolved past even the natives Akarios (his alien races planet) into a new being, one only a human could attain. The Neo Hydra. This form was his to control, it looked distinctly human giving Adrian a more radiant pearlescence, diamond scales, aquatic wings also suitable for air, and two long tentacles that extend from the top of his shoulders. Each tentacle had a heads with finned ears, piercing orange eyes, and razor sharp teeth. “Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun” he and his other heads said.

    He crystallized the very essence of water into a silver trident and said “I don’t know what you can do in that form, in fact, I don’t know what I can do, but be careful. This guy is not around to play aroung with something until it dies” Adrian said.

    “I’m not that bad, is that what you think of me” Iggy pretended to cry “Well then fine I’ll toy with you indeed”. He threw of his cloak reveal his grotesque body, riddled with punctures, tumors, and pieces of random high tech machinery. “As you can see, I’ve had a little work done and when I’m through with you all, you’ll be just like me”

    “You speak far too vainly, you must be put in your place” Zhudai said burning brighter. “Enough chatter, Adrian let us destroy this whelp.”

    “No problem!!” The two moved to both sides of Iggy, clashing with him. He fought them both of with him bare hands, throwing both across the rigde. They recovered in air, Adrian moving swiftly into the water under the bridge, while Zhudai had had become a pillar of golden fire, bolting at Iggy, blade first. Iggy snapped his finger firing a powerful gust of black wind that ruptured the brigde greatly, Alex burst through the heavy debris with ease. Zhudai’s blade hit Iggy chest first, but to his disbelief, the blade went only about an inch into his gray body.

    “Impressive ins’t it? Valigroth enchanted me so that my body fended off your little sword” Iggy explained.

    “The sword may be stopped, but the fire burns true” Zhudai said the nearby debris began to melt and burn as Zhudai brewed white hot. He opened his mouth and with a sound piercing screech a brazen stream of white hot molten fire spewed over Iggy, launching him across the bridge in the current of fire. Iggy flew clear until the bridge broke open underneath him and a wave of shining water jetted upwards in the form of hydra dragon heads. they were small but there was a myriad of them, barreling at Iggy, flipping his singed body around before incasing his a ball of ravaging currents strong enough to rip metal into pieces. Adrian standing far from Alex forced the ball down to the bridge, leaving a large crater in the thick road.

    “I think we got ‘em” Adrian said, floating lowly above the ground.

    “Dear boy, you couldn’t be more wrong” Iggy stood his body showed signs of pain, but he fought through them. “No behold the power of the Cyborn” the machinery in his body began to to light up pulsing and pumping the dreadful purple energy. He builtup the enegy and finally released it in an explosion that blew up the bridge. Adrian and Zhudai threw up a wall of their respective elements but it wasn’t enough to keep them from flying opposite ways across town. Adrian crashed abruptly into a skyscraper, while Zhudai into the wide street below. Both stood as though the crash was nothing, able to see the unmistakeable glow of each other from their standpoint, as well as Iggy who float of a purple sphere where the bridge once was.

    Adrian and Zhudai fumed with anger and relentless power as the blasted towards their opponent.

    ___________________________-
    I wanted something really action-y, take it away.

  49. Bretton 03 Dec 2008 at 8:47 am

    thanks, i’ve been busy. I’ll write the comment as soon as I get home but I dont have time right now.

  50. Bretton 03 Dec 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Within the Flame of Zhudai form, Alex took counsel with his mentor. “How are we to defeat him?”

    “You will need Adrian’s help. He is more acquainted with Iggy’s weaknesses than you are. The first thing to be done is to depower him. For that, we must use our power to break Valigroth’s protection over him.”
    “Very well.”

    The Flame of Zhudai spoke, his voice carrying across the desolated landscape. “Adrian, we will break Valigroth’s power. You must find Iggy’s weakness. You know him better than do we.” With this, The Flame soared into the air, leaving behind a trail of pure red fire. He drew his sword and sliced the air, releasing a torrent of fire energy. When the blast hit Iggy, his purple sphere flickered and slowly faded, revealing dark chains of intangible energy that represented the power of Valigroth. The villain was enraged.

    “You will die for your insolence!”

    “Foolish wretch, we are immortal. So long as we remain bonded, your power cannot destroy us! And now that we two have become one, we can wield power that would kill Alex alone.” The Flame raised his hands, and as if by invitation a HUGE bolt of lightning hurtled down from the azure sky. The torrent of energy pulsated through the Flame of Zhudai, becoming focused, amplified and intensified. “Prepare yourself to act Adrian. I will attempt to break Valigroth’s power.” He then collected the energy into his body and shouted, “I invoke the Powers Above to break the strength of Valigroth! The Might of Zavellor, Auringel, and Morvishim smite thee!” He then fired the HUGE bolt of lightning toward Iggy. Immediately the chains of darkness began to weaken as The Flame continued the barrage of energy.

    —————————
    Take it away maestro!

  51. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Oops sorry I was busy with my rewrite and school work.

  52. Bretton 04 Dec 2008 at 2:27 pm

    that’s cool

  53. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 3:05 pm

    I don’t know who Valigroth is but if he’s working with Iggy something must be going down, Adrian thought. Adrian watched as Flame tried to force the chains of power from Iggys body and got an idea. “Yo Alex, Ugana is the extremely volitle(?) metal his technology is made of. If you can overly charged the metal you may be able to force the spell or whatever off of him”. Adrian grew faint, he had never stayed in the transformation for that long, he only had one more chance to get Iggy. Jimelly told me never to use the acrid power, but I have to, even if I’m never the same after this. One of his bodie’s hydra heads began to gag vomiting a black smoke, that Adrian breathed in. His body turned pitch black, as all his darkest emotions welled inside of him. It was his final trick, one that could forever steal his sanity.

    “I-I only had s-so much control-l, have t-to hurry” Adrian jetted off the side of the building in a stream of pitch black water, Flame gave one final golden burst of lightning, his Ugana plating overloaded forcing his shackled to snapp, Iggy was free from Valigroth but now he was vunerable. Adrian shot past his multiple times each time bashing him violenty “Alex, move!!”. Flame complied moving back “Adrian, you do not have to do this” his called went unheard. Adrian circled Iggy rapidly until his water formed a pitch black sphere. he dived into the sphere, shooting back out as his regular human self. The Flame quickly caught him( I don’t know if that’s possible, but who cares). “Adrian, are you all right?” Flame asked.

    “I’ll survive, my DNA is far stronger than most human, maybe even elvs” Adrian joked. “That shpere won’t hold hid forever, don’t you have some type of banishing magic?” he asked.The Flame sat Adrian down, who quickly began to fumble through his pockets. he pulled out a black and orange sphere. “Assimilate” the ball turned into an exosuit. I can’t do much like this but, at least I can moved. “Okay, I know what I must do” The Flame stepped forward and ______

    _______________________________________-
    Adrian has alot of forms, I probably going to get rid of one or two, but his exosuit is a must and so are his two normal alien form, Hydra and Serpentine.

  54. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 4:10 pm

    We should get ReTARDISed Whovian in on this.

  55. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 04 Dec 2008 at 4:50 pm

    Why, what’s happening? I haven’t been on in ages, and I don’t have the time to read all the comments at the moment.

  56. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Rpg fights between our characters. If you look above me and Brett have been in battle for a while. This one is awesome but if we had more people it could be ‘frickin’ awesome.

  57. Bretton 04 Dec 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Cool! While we’re at it, lets bring in Sora and Organization XIII! Things can only get better!

    jk

    XD

  58. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 04 Dec 2008 at 5:31 pm

    How do you tell when someone wins? You’ll keep finding ways to outdo each other, won’t you?

  59. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Being ok with taking hits helps the fights get more realistic. For instance, I was about to let Adrian lose and then I pulled the old team up on the villian thing. We could work outdo-ing problems.

    I’m very much ok with losing and getting hit, rather htan blocking or dodging every attack.

  60. Bretton 04 Dec 2008 at 5:56 pm

    The Flame of Zhudai spoke to Adrian, “We could banish him to the void, but that would only be temporary. While he was there he could also consult and assimilate the pure essence of Valigroth himself. We don’t think you want that. Our best option is to separate him from whatever gives him his strength. Then his human body will be easy to confine. This will require some teamwork. We will remove the metal from his body. We wish you to grab hold of his humanity with your water powers. Once we separate them, the rest will be easy.” The flame reached out into the dark orb containing Iggy, not with fire, but with elemental force. He grabbed hold of the metal attached to Iggy’s body and superheated it, cleaving it from skin, muscle and bone. Simultaneously, Adrian grabbed hold of whatever was left of Doctor Iggy’s human form. The process was slow and apparently painful, but they were succeeding.

  61. Ragged Boyon 04 Dec 2008 at 6:16 pm

    Adrian with what little water power he had in human form pried Iggy human form, pulling them apart. Flame ripped the metal from hisw Body as Adrian grabbed hold of Iggy’s body, as they fell. Adrian bent some water to catch himself and Iggy, who was now unconscious. Flame wrapped Iggy in confining fire bond. Iggy was defeated. Adrian hobbled over to Flame, reaching his hand out for a hand shake “Well Alex it’s—” He was interuppted as the sphere of black water began to speak in the voice of Valigroth saying_______ (I sooo can’t write Valigroth)

  62. Bretton 05 Dec 2008 at 6:49 am

    The battle was now over, and Alex and Maesirturon separatedinto their respective beings.
    But then, the Sphere of Darkness resolved itself into a shadowy, faceless, spectral shape: A large man of surrea proportions, wrapped in a dark cloak under which the dull sheen of black armor was visible. He wore a hood, and a dark crown inset with nine purple gems that did not shine, but rather seemed to draw light into themselves, stealing it from all around them. Underneath the hood, no face was visible, only nothingness. And then he spoke. The words were not ones that could be understood by man, and Maesirturon alone comprehended their meaning. The language was a twisted, marred version of the Phoenix Tongue. It was at once the highest shriek and the lowest snarl. The figure raised its hand and pointed toward Alex. It shrieked once more, and a bolt of purple lightning struck him, driving him to the ground. The figure shrieked and snarled once more, as if in laughter. It then blew away as dark smoke on the wind.

    Alex struggled to his feet, recovering from the blast of pure evil. He would live, but pain racked his body. Alex asked Maesirturon, “What did he say?”

    “He says he believes that you are weak. Nevertheless you would make an excellent servant.”

    “Can you heal me of him?”

    “Alas Alex, my gift is only the Fire that Cleanses and the Fire that Destroys. I cannot wield the Fire that Heals. I can remove his influence from your bocy, but I can do nothing for your pain.”

    “Did he say anything else?”

    “Yes. He has unleashed the Ravagers upon Therva, and they will lay waste first to the Elderworld, and then to Terra. We must return, and your friend may come with us if he so desires. We can use his help. If the Ravagers are there, so are Valigroth’s armies. No doubt he lesser servants will be there as well. Climb onto my back. Once we arrive, I will take you to Prishara. Her fire can heal. Is your friend coming?”

    ——————————–
    Well, are you?

    Also, I find that the less a villain actually says in dialogue, the more threatening he sounds. The exception to this is the Joker of course, perhaps the mouthiest threatening villain in history. So as it turns out, I can’t write Valigroth either! lol

  63. Ragged Boyon 05 Dec 2008 at 8:12 am

    “The full moon cycle is over, my powers will be weakened, But I’ll come” (This is my way of putting his powers back in perspective, also gives him an excuse to use his tech).

    Maesirturon opened a portal bacl to the Prishara, Alex and Adrian enetered the portal. After crossing over they were shocked. The land and been burned and scorched beyond recognition in the distance. “This can’t be happening we have to hurry” Alex said. They went into Prishara house and explained the events to her, she agreed to heal them. The Fire that Heals wrapped itself around Alex and Adrian stealing the pain from their bodies and replacing it with energy, they were good as new. They left the house in urgency when outside they were approached by lesser servants of Valigroth.

    “Alex, I’m sorry, but I must go and assist the Knight, you two will have to hold your own against Valigroth’s army. I have confidence in you two. Alex your mastery of fire and combat is most exemplary. And you Adrian, your style of control over the water element, is unlike any I’ve ever seen. You are both true heroes” Maesirturon said fading into a fiery portal. Thw two servants drew closer, snarling, waiting for a fight.

    The two sprang into action, “Vaichar” Alex said, his hands became shrouded in fire. Adrian with help from his suit spread his arms releasing his toxins, stealing water vapor from the air and plants around him. The water engulfed his hands, forming long thin claws, his feet, making clawed boots, and his lower bady forming a makeshift water tail. “I don’t need to go alien for these chumps” Adrian said “I agree, these idiots are nothing” Alex said. They sprang out, skating and jetting they charged for the servants.

    _______________________________
    I don’t know much about the servants, that’s why I’m giving it to you. I wanted Maes’ to go away because he was too strong and would kill everything in one hit.

    All yours, make it good, remember Adrian isn’t in alien form. Lets try to up the level of action (I don’t how, but lets try)

  64. B. Macon 05 Dec 2008 at 10:26 am

    I agree that it’s hard to make a mouthy villain sound sinister. Usually, it comes off ridiculously, like “it’s time for you to die, Mr. Bond!”

    I think the problem is that the author tries so hard to make the character sound evil that the character loses any pretense of self-justification and becomes a completely amoral caricature. I’d really recommend making each villain think that he’s the hero of the story. You can still make him sound creepy with elements like euphemism.

  65. Bretton 05 Dec 2008 at 1:33 pm

    As the creatures approached, Alex realized what they were: Shades. Each was mounted on a gargoyle, and they were leading a small company of Chith and Othgarts that must have numbered about fifty, at least. Their banner was the Black Star of Valigroth.

    Adrian had one word to say: “Whoa.”

    The shades rode forward. One of them spoke. “Surrender yourself halfling, and Valigroth will spare you. He may yet make you a commander of his armies.”

    “We did not come here to bargain with that demon, shade! Your black power is useless under the rays of the sun. You do not frighten us, nor your foul guard!”

    “Very well,” the second shade spoke. “Since you have refused the pleasure of Valigroth, you will be destroyed. Kill them!”

    —————————-
    I will finish later, but I gotta run now. But is taking on fifty Chith and Othgarts, plus two shades riding gargoyles enough action for ya? : )

    FYI
    -Black Star- Valigroth’s standard. Picture a toy pinwheel shape in black, somewhat resembling a swastika.

    -Shades- Vampiric people who are weakened, though not killed by sunlight. They do not drink blood contrary to superstition. They possess strength, stamina, etc. greater than humans and wield enchanted weapons. Picture deathly pale elves minus the ears and add fangs.

    -Gargoyles- a twisted mockery of the gryphon, marred by Valigroth.

    -Chith- goblin-like enemies of the elves who primarily live in the Great Desert. They were once monkeys until infected by Valigroth’s evil. They are human-like, and without tails. They have adapted to desert life, with scales covering parts of their bodies, thin fur, pitch-dark skin, and yellow eyes. They also have fangs. They ride giants scorpions called nykras.

    -Othgarts- a humanoid species that resembles an amalgam of several animals. Gargoyles are to dragons as Othgarts are to men. Sort of. Picture a man-sized two-legged gargoyle. The othgarts are winged, making them Valigroth’s air force of sorts.

  66. Ragged Boyon 05 Dec 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Should I continue or do you want to?

    If you take too long I will.

  67. Bretton 05 Dec 2008 at 3:07 pm

    I won’t be able to continue today. I’ll probably come back Sunday. Use your good judgment. : )

  68. Bretton 07 Dec 2008 at 4:13 pm

    You can go ahead if you wish, I’m writing new material and will probably be delayed. If you wish to suspend this and pick it up later, that’s fine too.

  69. Ragged Boyon 07 Dec 2008 at 4:44 pm

    I’m starting my comic book script as of now, so we will definitely pick this up later.

    Haha, we’re all so productive.

  70. Ragged Boyon 07 Dec 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Newsflash:

    Regarding my audition for the school play, I did get a part but it’s minor. The good part is that for our first production we’re doing two one act plays, Juvie and Cuffed. Juvie is what I got the minor role in, but in Cuffed I have the only lead role.

    The two casters told me that they were really impressed with ability in characterizing the roles as opposed to just reading the script, see I didn’t overact I knew what I was doing. After all, I am a professional. It just would have helped for them to tell me that right off the back.

    You guys should try acting, it’s hella fun.

  71. Bretton 07 Dec 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Hmmm…

    Judging by you, if intelligence, flair for the dramatic, and borderline insanity/schizophrenia are in the requirements, then I may look into it.

  72. Bretton 07 Dec 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I meet all three!

  73. Ragged Boyon 07 Dec 2008 at 5:59 pm

    Eww, schizophrenia is scary. If I ever had a hallucination of something scary, I think I’d go into a fear-induced coma. I have ALOT of irrational fear.

  74. Bretton 07 Dec 2008 at 7:08 pm

    I’m guessing mild schizos don’t have hallucinations. I threw that in because one of my friends thinks I’m a schizo. I think that idea is totally laughable.

  75. B. Macon 07 Dec 2008 at 8:32 pm

    *grumble grumble.*

  76. Ragged Boyon 07 Dec 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Cut it out. Old Man Mac’s on his lawn with the phone, one more step and he’ll call the cops.

    My friends think I’m a budding serial killer because I love voodoo dolls and dark humor. That’s all I’m done *hops the fence and runs down the street before Mac can hit him with his cane* haha.

  77. Davidon 16 Jan 2009 at 8:04 pm

    For other people it’s the opposite; everything feels like it’s moving too fast…” Adrenaline can slow down your reflexes? That’s very interesting from an evolutionary perspective. I wonder which conditions would make it advantageous to have slow reflexes.

    Well, adrenaline doesn’t slow down your reflexes, but when we suffer from a huge loss or becomes very scared, we share a primitive response with reptiles: paralysis. It could have something to do with appearing dead to whatever is chasing us (like a predator) and some animals only react to moving objects. So it’s not that we’re slowing down. What could be happening is that the response is taking hold and we’re trying to will ourselves to move and we end up moving slowly.

    PS: I know this is a really late post on that comment, but I only just found it, lol.

  78. Dforceon 19 Feb 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Hmm… I’ve been looking at how to choreograph a city-wide battle royal (lol, like I’ll get that far…), and I was wondering what some necessary props would be needed. Ultimately, I guess I’ll need to make my own city… ergh… dauting… and I was wondering if there was any tips you guys could give (maybe an article?). I’ve already written two pages on my own worth of buildings to potentially have (like hospitals, police stations, newspaper HQs, etc.).

    Any thoughts?

  79. Holliequon 19 Feb 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Dammit, I got really excited when you said ‘battle royal’. I thought you meant Battle Royale, the book . . . guess not. :(

    I don’t think you need to create an incredibly detailed city – you could have a ‘surburban area’, ‘downtown’, ‘shopping district’, ‘factory district’, etc. That would save you a lot of trouble of drawing individual buildings, haha. Then you can plot where key locations are (the police station, hospitals etc).

    . . . Alternatively you could get a map of an existing city and use that.

    In a novel, you wouldn’t have to lay out where everything was – as long as you knew, everything would (hopefully) make sense. Are you doing a comic? I suspect choreographing that would be more difficult. You’d have to swap between fight scenes, which I think might jerk people about a bit. I’m not really sure.

  80. Dforceon 19 Feb 2009 at 5:19 pm

    lol. Yeah, I’m doing a comic. I’ve thought about using real cities as examples of how to draw the actual buildings, and your idea does sound simpler… but I will need to use the same setting (city) throughout for later epic, city-wide duels…

    Thank you!

  81. Ragged Boyon 19 Feb 2009 at 6:14 pm

    It’s all personal preference. I chose to make my own city, New Harbor City, which is an L.A mimic. I suspect making your own city would allow you to better choreograph the battle royal.

    I don’t think you would necessarily have to jerk the reader around if you gave general shots of some fights, but focused on one fight, I think a reader could comprehend.

    Whether you do a real city or a fake one, neither would have to be very detailed, maybe give a few well-known locations and that should surfise.

  82. Dforceon 19 Feb 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Well, all cities are mimics of one another, fictional or not.

    And, yeah, I’d focus on one-on-one, or two-on-one battles at a time to make things as simple as possible; I did read rule #2 up there, you know. lol.

  83. Ragged Boyon 19 Feb 2009 at 8:01 pm

    “Well, all cities are mimics of one another, fictional or not.”

    So even real cities are mimics of others. Haha. What’s New York City a mimic of?

  84. Holliequon 19 Feb 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Well, the Statue of Liberty is French! :D

  85. Ragged Boyon 19 Feb 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Yeah, it was a “thank you” from France.

  86. Dforceon 19 Feb 2009 at 8:42 pm

    New York? My guess, Rome… they were both at their time the “hub of the world.” Everything major went to Rome… or maybe more realistically, York (old York) from the UK, which was once used by a Roman Emperor to control Rome from. And then again, didn’t the universal human concept of cities come from Eridu (alleged first city of the world)?

    Of course I meant the concept of cities, not that modern cities copied their actual layout on others. (To me, it would only make sense that prominent businesses wanted to have a building near the most populated areas, which is why some areas develop the way they do). Er… Anyway, those are my thoughts.

  87. Meleeandbrawllordon 27 Mar 2009 at 4:51 am

    I would also like to note: don’t make it too awesome. Fights are only great when you have previously had fights which aren’t as cool.

  88. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 27 Mar 2009 at 6:58 am

    I agree. The most epic, violent fight should be the final one between the hero and villain.

  89. Chulanceon 09 May 2009 at 2:29 pm

    I personally think long fights are good if the fighters have skills that allow a long fight. For example, Harry Potter has short fights. I like the series but not the short fights. DBZ has entire storylines with fights… awesome!

  90. Ragged Boyon 09 May 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Long fights work in manga, because mangas are longer than comics. They don’t work so well in novels, though. They come off as repetitive.

  91. Chulanceon 09 May 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Okay good I plan to have long good fights between my characters yeah they could work in novels like hP if wizards had higher resistence than muggles

  92. B. Macon 09 May 2009 at 4:55 pm

    I think that the age of the target audience is a critical consideration. A series that spends 70% (or more) of its pages in fights will probably limit itself to males aged 13 and younger. I think that most high school students would pass on a series like Dragonball Z because the characters are thinly-developed and they do very little but fight. “Where’s the story?”

    In contrast, most Justice League episodes probably spent only around 5-10 minutes (out of 22) in combat. There was a lot more dialogue, investigation, denouement, noncombat action sequences, verbal conflict, etc. I think that’s why Justice League did so well among teens.

  93. Nic_Ton 19 Jun 2009 at 12:58 am

    here are a few novels that do fight scenes well
    -The Freedom Phalanx by robin D. Laws
    -Exterminators (Justice League of America) by Christopher Golden
    -Watchers on the Wall (X-Men) by Christopher L. Bennett

    Check them out :)

  94. Markeithon 30 Jun 2009 at 10:24 am

    How is this.
    The tough bulky guards with black masks over there face were aproching me and there were barely any sunlight so I couldn’t use it for superstrength.
    “Running away so soon” asked the leader in a rude tone. He approched more then everyone else. Then there was a un-comftorable silence then the leader started sprinting towards me and my friend Mary Rae. She had the power to move rocks with her mind but there wasn’t any rocks to be found. I knew we shouldn’t have bragged about being able to kill everyone with our powers esspeccially since thid is the middle of Chicago but I was super excited.
    “Just try to use your powers” whispered Mary Rae. I began sucking the bit of sunlight that covered the sky. It worked enough for me to throw somebody but that was it the leader punched Mary Rae in to a brick wall. I instantly feared for my life. But I took action and threw the guard on the pavement. Then I put Mary Rae over my sholders and began running out of the other end of the alley but I saw 2 more thugs.
    “What happened” moaned Mary Rae barely opening one of her eyes.
    “Just relax everything will be okay” I re-assured her. I sucked a bit more sunlight and I rammed in to a guard and fled to the street scared and confused but I was going to plan revenge.

  95. Jenetaon 02 Jul 2009 at 12:35 pm

    I liked it a lot. Actiony but very realistic.

  96. Eden Roseon 04 Aug 2009 at 4:14 pm

    How many powers and weaknesses should a hero have?

  97. B. Macon 04 Aug 2009 at 4:33 pm

    A few suggestions.

    I’d recommend keeping exotic powers to a minimum because they tend to stand out more and usually need more explanation. However, I think that most of the successful heroes of the last ~30 years have had 1-2 exotic powers and a few generic powers. For example, Wolverine has claws (exotic) and some minor stuff like enhanced strength, regeneration, agility, etc. Spiderman has spider-sense and webbing (both exotic) and generic enhancements like agility, strength, etc.

    As the amount of characters increases, each should have fewer and simpler powers. For example, on the Fantastic Four, the Thing has nothing but generic strength/toughness. The Invisible Woman probably has the most complex powers of the foursome, and even hers (invisibility and forcefields) are fairly easy to explain. As a rule of thumb, for a group of superheroes I would recommend at most 2 powers for each teammate. Maybe three for a particularly important character.



    A well-constructed character does not need weaknesses. If you have to resort to something like a vulnerability to Kryptonite or the color yellow or whatever, it’s probably because the character is too powerful to begin with. Something like Kryptonite is not a satisfying or particularly effective way to resolve that. (For one thing, going from “largely unchallengeable” to “rag-doll” is not particularly interesting).

    I strongly recommend a maximum of one kryptonite-style weakness. I’d recommend focusing on limiting his capabilities instead. If the character is practically indestructible and can move as fast as a space shuttle, then you practically have to use something goofy like Kryptonite to challenge him. But the fight scenes are generally more interesting and the character will probably be more relatable if his powers are less impressive to begin with. Over the past thirty years, heroes that are somewhat better-than-human (like Wolverine and Spiderman) have been dominant. Heroes that are so impressive that they need a gimmick weakness have generally not fared very well.

  98. CarsonArtiston 04 Aug 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Ill second that ! I never got into superman comics due to kryptonite… I have 4 characters in my story but each one has a minor weakness or disadvantage.

    Nicodemus, although knowledgeable in magic cannot be discovered as he is a wanted man. Therefore I cant just explain away everything with a magic spell. Its the old ” I cant blow my cover” type thing.

    Witchfork doesnt have any weaknesses other than she is young and a little psychologically damaged from her powers. Her powers are relatively simple, but come from having 3 souls.

    Bloodhammer’s weakness is his emotional attachment to his spiritually imprisoned girlfriend who he fights to free. His love is his weakness- but also his strength.I made the biggest guy the one who whines the most with his angst over his girlfriend.

    The Savant has a weakness of being a cripple outside of his cybernetics. He is only as tough as his technology. His only only non-technology power is his mind since he can see the future a little bit. Sometimes he can slip into the spaces between dimensions but he cant control that and has only had it happen once…in his origin story.

    So as you can see I tried to give them a disadvantage to be more well rounded characters, but no kryptonite. Everyone of us has flaws – even heroes.

  99. Ragged Boyon 04 Aug 2009 at 6:21 pm

    B. Mac, I’ve got a new drawing on my DA account. I think I did quite well. I’d love you and everyone else’s review of it. Thanks.

    Seeya later, sex machines!

  100. B. Macon 04 Aug 2009 at 7:56 pm


    Kenna of Animata by ~Puzzeler on deviantART

  101. B. Macon 04 Aug 2009 at 8:13 pm

    A few random notes. I think most of these would be solved by giving him a shirt or something similar.

    –He looks sickly-thin. I’d recommend filling out the area between his waist and his breasts more. I would recommend against tapering in a guy’s body like that.

    –I’d recommend shortening the neck and possibly narrowing it. I suspect that would make his physique look more heroic and attractive. (Some nerdy heroes have a fairly long, slender neck, but I don’t think it works as well here).

    –I like the eyes.

    –Depending on what the intended effect was, the head might be very effective. I’m sort of having trouble visualizing him as a protagonist but I think he could make a solid obstacle or antagonist. (He doesn’t look nearly intimidating enough to be a villain, though). I think the spherical head, jagged hair and missing mouth make him feel mostly unfriendly.

    –I like the FUN belt. It’s kind of quirky.

    –He might look better with a shirt on. His chest muscles are, umm, not very well-developed.

    –It feels slightly odd that we can’t see his mouth from this angle.

    –The connection between his upper-arm (which is fairly well-developed) and his shoulder (which looks like mine) feels a bit off. I think it would help if the upper-arm and shoulder were a bit more consistent in terms of muscle development. Also, I get the impression that his left arm is substantially buffer than his right arm.

    –I get the impression that his neck is somewhat skewed towards the right side of his body.

    –The hair turned out nicely.

  102. Ragged Boyon 05 Aug 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Wow, that was not the response I had hoped for. Umm, I’m left pretty much…speechless. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all.

  103. Ragged Boyon 05 Aug 2009 at 4:27 pm

    However, this is exactly the response I should have expected! It’s all good. Criticism is just part of the job. Gotta stay tough! Thanks for your thought, B. Mac.

    Any other commenters? Your thoughts are welcome.

  104. CarsonArtiston 05 Aug 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Some quick tips…

    You see how he is in 3/4 view? That means the angle of the shoulders, waist, eyes and the rest of his body should be going from left to right in an upward angle. The line of the eyes, shoulders and waist should all be basically parallel.

    The illustration shows his shoulders almost going in a downward angle from left to right. His eyes should follow the same line, as they are now, the far eye is way too low.

    His first finger joints near the hand seem too short, but I’m assuming he is alien and that may just be the way he is.

    You could improve it quite a bit by lining up your body parts in perspective correctly and one example would be moving his near shoulder down and to the left. This will put it really near or over the edge of the page unfortunately. Keep working the basic anatomy so he is in perspective at least and you will see your dude really come together.

    If you need any art advice I can help you with critiques if you like. Keep up the drawing!

    ~Carson

  105. Ragged Boyon 10 Aug 2009 at 9:23 am

    Thanks, Carson. Love the critique. I’d like to learn about perspective and all that good shit, but it’s difficult. Where’d you learn that stuff?

  106. CarsonArtiston 10 Aug 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Mostly art school but there are tons of books out there on how to draw the figure. A really good author for illustrating manga and comics is Christopher Hart.

    Here is a link to Amazon listing all his books. I think I have 2 or 3. Check it out!

    http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&tag=mozilla-20&index=blended&link_code=qs&field-keywords=Christopher%20Hart&sourceid=Mozilla-search

    Perspective is not to hard to get the hang of. Start by learning about vanishing points, thats a good place.

    Try this.

    http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/drawing-geometric-perspective.html

  107. Ragged Boyon 26 Aug 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I’m really trying to stay away from manga style. It’s hard, though. I’m going for a modified version of cartoonism. But thanks for the suggestions.

  108. Jackon 20 Oct 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Um… I have a question…..

    Yeah, for superhero fights? What is the maximum length they can be?

  109. Ragged Boyon 20 Oct 2009 at 1:24 pm

    In a novel you should try to keep a fight to a maximum of two pages. Anything longer and it’s probably just dragging on. Also, a fight should be the peak of a chapter, not the entire content.

  110. Jackon 20 Oct 2009 at 1:28 pm

    hmmm….. that sounds interesting.

    Do you mean 1 on 1 fights or group fights? In Harry Potter 7 there was a lot of fights, and many lasting longer then two pages. Many were group fights Harry vs Voldemort lasted about two to three pages and part of it was talking,

    Anyway in a comic how long can fights be? If I write Heroes Style(Meaning humans have normal durability and stuff?)

  111. Ragged Boyon 20 Oct 2009 at 1:41 pm

    I suspect you extend the length it you can keep the fights interesting and creative. Harry Potter is a multi-million dollar franchise so using it’s criteria may not be a good idea. I’m sure J.K. Rowling has much more leeway with her story than that of first-time author.

    As for a comic book, I’d guess and 4-5 pages, maybe 6. Since you don’t have as much space in a comic you should try to keep your fights as short as possible. The fighting can be good, but it’s the story that keeps people’s attention.

  112. Jackon 20 Oct 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Yes, it depends on who’s fighting that determines the length of a fight. I’ll use examples for Heroes, and pretend I’m a heroes writer.

    For example if Nikki(Super strength), fights Mohinder(Similar power) the fight might last three, four pages?

    If Peter fights Mohinder it’s a short fight since Peter can kill by touching you and Mohinder can snap your neck.

    If Sylar fights Arthur it will be a long fight lasting more then one issue?(These fights people avoid except towards ends of saga)

    That’s true about HP, and the story was awesome! I go by X men comics for example, since they have action but balance it with story and fights are pretty good length. Is this a good example?

  113. Ragged Boyon 20 Oct 2009 at 2:21 pm

    I’ve never seen an episode of Heroes, so this probably isn’t the best example for me.

  114. Jackon 20 Oct 2009 at 7:07 pm

    If someone with the power of air fights a fire person it will be a long fight compared to somone with fire vs somone with earth.

    Or an armed teleporter vs. a flyer might be interesting, seeing as how when you teleport you’d have to teleport in the air and things.

  115. Shellon 07 Mar 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Has anyone written a story that involves some kind of repetitive action, like a on-going pursuit or battle? I have sooo much trouble trying to differentiate the action and then bringing it to a conclusion.

    For example, if you have some bad guys that repeatedly pray on a certain town or group of people and your protagonist must stop them, how do you keep the back-and-forth battle from becoming repetitive? And how would you introduce a twist here and there that would seem to throw your villains off, but doesn’t (until the climax or final turning point, of course)?

    Another example would be if you had some characters on the run. Of course, they are being pursued by someone or some force, which they may encounter now and again as they continue to escape. How do you keep things unpredictable during the chase?

    If anyone has personal experience or can direct me to some published writers that have accomplished this well, I very much welcome the advice.

  116. B. Macon 07 Mar 2010 at 6:56 pm

    “if you have some bad guys that repeatedly pray on a certain town or group of people and your protagonist must stop them, how do you keep the back-and-forth battle from becoming repetitive?” You could raise the stakes and/or alter the goals or nature of the fight. For example, if you’re familiar with Star Wars, the first of the original movies starts with a fairly minor shootout on Leia’s ship and focuses on a single ship and a few characters escaping an Imperial hunt and graduates to planetcide and planet-wide warfare involving probably hundreds of thousands of people.

    “And how would you introduce a twist here and there that would seem to throw your villains off, but doesn’t?” An intermediate victory that thwarts what the villain’s goal at the moment but not in any sort of permanent way. For example, if the villains are trying to rob a bank, the heroes might foil the heist but without killing or capturing anybody important. So the heroes have stopped the villains this time but have not actually put a major dent in their plans. If you’d like it to seem that the villains have taken a larger hit than they have, the heroes might actually capture/kill a character that appears more important than he is, but the real mastermind is still going strong.

    One fairly low-stakes example is the squabbling between Harry Potter and Draco/his goons. For the first five books, they mainly fight over pathetic little things like the House Cup and their conflict gradually escalates into high-level violence that has a major impact on the central Harry vs. Voldemort story arc.

  117. Anonymouson 01 Apr 2010 at 11:29 am

    I have been dieing to write a x-men styled novel. With a group of superpowered humans/mutants. But I find it really hard to keep the story going and make the scenes better than just a punch. And it’s quite hard to come up with something inventive that hasnt already been wrote down

  118. Ragged Boyon 01 Apr 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Hola, Anonymous.

    It’s very difficult to come up with a completely orginal story (I’d say nearly impossible, unless it was completely insane). The trick is to take what’s already been and make it new. Additionally, how well you write the story factors into how inventive your story feels. My comic book, Showtime, doesn’t have the most original storyline, but by throwing in interesting character I made the story feel fresh (Eww, I sound like I’m bragging. I’m not).

    What do you have so far?

  119. Anonymouson 02 Apr 2010 at 3:35 am

    Thanks. Well, if you’ve done something good you should brag!
    Well, it’s mainly the characters that are the same. It’s kind of weird trying to use their powers in a different way even though they’ve already been seen. Here are some character’s powers:

    I have someone who can control weather
    Someone who controls fire
    A technopath
    And a person who can control shockwaves (sort of like Arclight in X-Men 3)

    Although, I have some other background characters with better powers.

  120. Anonymouson 02 Apr 2010 at 4:07 am

    Do you think the eyes going white would have to stay with storm or could you use it for other heroes

  121. Ragged Boyon 02 Apr 2010 at 7:00 am

    Hmm, I’d definitely recommend more differentiation from the X-Men’s superpowers. As of now I think they are a little too similar.

    You said:
    “Although, I have some other background characters with better powers.”

    - What are these background character’s powers? If they are that much better I’d recommend switching them with your main characters’ abilities.

    I think you could get away with eyes going white. Alternatively, there is a variety of cool colors that eyes could turn ( orange, black, neon green, etc) if you wanted to be more original.

    On a side note, I strongly urge you to work on your mechanical writing ability if you plan to get published. It can and will be a detriment to your success if your writing isn’t clean and up to par. I strongly recommend stopping that irregular capitalization thing, it’s very annoying to read and edit.

  122. Anonymouson 02 Apr 2010 at 8:34 am

    Okay thanks i’ll just switch the characters powers about and i don’t normally do the capitals on every word when writing but ill try to cut it out completely. Thanks :D

  123. Lighting Manon 12 Nov 2010 at 4:06 pm

    I’m currently working on a scene in which my protagonist, a computer virus controlling a bio-organic brain construct inside of a human body, is waiting on his cellular phone, which has been modified to contain and release the millions of nano-bots that make up his costume (and supply his human body with the majority of his abilities) but the precise phone model he has takes several minutes to boot up fully. All the while, an extremely dangerous minor villain is searching the area for him and his girlfriend, a normal human, so they’re hiding on a fire escape, about eight feet off the ground, and can’t touch the ground without him detecting them due to his abilities.

    My first thought was to play the scene for suspense, with the villain being a clear and present danger, and them having to stay on the move, without touching the ground, which would mean either climbing further up the fire escape and increasing the danger from the height, or stick close to the ground, risking easy detection from sight and easy detection from touching the ground.

    I’m wondering now if that was the appropriate approach, would it be better to play it as straight action or perhaps even for comedy? The scene is necessary to advance the plot, as well as demonstrating a vital flaw in the relationship between the characters, but those elements could be kept with different interpretations.

    I would love to hear some thoughts about the appropriate approach to take.

    Thanks.

  124. B. Macon 13 Nov 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Unless the book is a comedy, I suspect this scene would lend itself better to suspense and/or action and/or drama than comedy. The suspense/action angle would be pretty obvious, him trying to keep them safe before his superpowers boot up.

    I’m not sure how this scene could be played primarily as a comedy. For one thing, more relatability might help. I think most people can relate to an elevator not coming in time, or a car stalling when every moment counts, but getting stuck in a fire-escape with a stalled phone is a bit more unusual. Is there some reason the element of danger might be amusing here? (For example, is the villain deliberately ridiculous or incompetent?)



    To play the scene as a drama, I think it’d help if there were as much differentiation between the roles of the girlfriend and the hero as possible. For example, maybe she doesn’t know he’s a superhero. Or, if she does, maybe she isn’t 100% supportive (maybe she blames him for getting them in this mess, or maybe she feels hurt because he didn’t tell her soon enough, etc).

  125. Lighting Manon 17 Nov 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Great points, thank you very much for the input.

    I apologize for not replying sooner and giving my thanks, college has been kicking my butt to death, I’ve got half a mind to travel through time and brutally murder John B. Watson for his crimes against people taking psychology classes.

  126. B. Macon 17 Nov 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Hey, don’t worry. School and work come first!

  127. Castilleon 10 Feb 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Not to spoil a future chapter of my review forum but I’ve got a question. I need to figure out how a FBI agent could use his tie effectively in a fight.

    I got a few ideas, but I could really use some help here.

  128. Nicholas Caseon 10 Feb 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Maybe his tie is like a 5th super stretching and bendy limb that he can use to strangle people without using his arms or legs. Maybe his tie’s tip is really a sharp blade that looks like cloth. Maybe even (at most cliche) it can have a camera in it. At least cliche (I can think of) that has use is that his tie can be a fire extinguished that puts out a fire when someone tries to get rid of evidence.

  129. B. Macon 10 Feb 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Umm, has the tie been specially prepared as a weapon? If so, depending on which materials it’s made out of, maybe it could be sharp enough to cut someone without bordering on the cheesiness of exploding shark-repellent. It would probably border on the lesser cheesiness of John Steed using an umbrella and hat as a weapon, though.

    More soberly, the character is interested in supernatural creatures, so he may have taken unusual precautions with his tie. For example, maybe silver flakes are melted into the tie’s threads and the tie burns a werewolf whenever it makes contact. I think that’d be a semi-respectable way of making sure that you’d always have an anti-werewolf weapon easily available but well-concealed.

    Another possibility is that I think it’d be somewhat viable to use a tie as a nonlethal garrote for taking someone unconscious. (But I can’t imagine how anyone could use a garrote in self-defense, so this set-up would probably force you to put the FBI agent on the attack).

  130. Castilleon 10 Feb 2011 at 9:00 pm

    …I was planning on having it be a normal tie. But maybe he could use his Quantico training to use in a marital arts manner? I’m not discounting the silver lining idea though.

    *an agent can’t be too careful*

  131. Nicholas Caseon 10 Feb 2011 at 9:21 pm

    IT WAS MY IDEA!!!…lol. Anyways what if the tie could roll up and condense into a hard stick…it’s a long shot but it might be cool…

  132. B. Macon 10 Feb 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Maybe after the battle, the character uses the tie as makeshift handcuffs.

    However, during the fight, I’m not seeing many ways to use a normal tie as a weapon. Umm, maybe if he had time to prepare, he could tie it to a heavy object to make a really primitive flail. The main problem would be that a tie is not very long and rather narrow. I think it’d be a lot more effective to stuff a sock full of small rocks or coins.

    I think a tie would open up some creative opportunities in battle, but more so against the person wearing the tie than for him.

  133. NicKennyon 11 Feb 2011 at 3:23 pm

    I think around 5:28 there’s a good example. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0jRnH1gKCQ

    I suppose you could weigh one end and use it as a club. Like they do in prison with socks and oranges. You could also sew razor blades into the end of the tie, although you’d also have add weight the in for enough force to be generated to slice up someone.

  134. B. Macon 11 Feb 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Socks and oranges! I will try to keep that in mind the next time I am incarcerated.

    PS: Speaking of makeshift prison equipment, the most badass armor I’ve ever seen was on The Wire. A gangster with many enemies in prison ripped the pages out of a phonebook and duct-taped them to his torso, creating a knife-proof vest.

  135. Nicholas Caseon 11 Feb 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Um B.Mac I know this is off topic but…what do you like about my book? Remember, I’m only a kid.

  136. B. Macon 11 Feb 2011 at 8:07 pm

    I like your enthusiasm and I feel like you usually have a pretty good sense of what’s going on. Writing-wise, I don’t feel like the work is exceptional yet, which is not a knock against you or your talent but merely a sign that you haven’t had enough time to practice yet.

    The publishing industry rejects more than 99.9% of manuscripts and it takes YEARS for authors to develop professional-grade writing skills. Given time, you’ll have more opportunities to practice your skills, develop a unique style and polish the edges. According to a survey by Jim Hines, just .8% of authors got their first novel published from 17-20, and none before age 17.*

    On average, novelists wrote for ~10 years before publishing their first novel.

    Another thing that I think will help a lot is reading more. I think your action skills will sharpen dramatically as you read more action novels.

    *Given child labor laws, I don’t know if it’s even possible for someone to get professionally published before age 17.

  137. Nicholas Caseon 11 Feb 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Nope, You can get published with permission from your parents. If they clear it with you and your parents, you can publish. Also I love to read but most of the books I have don’t really have superhero action in them It’s like jumping from being a professional school story writer to writing scifi. I wish my parents would take me to bookstores more often because I do love reading. My Dad’s always working and my Mom has a lot of stuff to do. My big brother’s about to go to college in about 2 years so it stinks. Lately though I’ve been convinced that I’m almost a genius for my age. C’mon, a kid who’s not even a teen yet who knows that ammonia is a triangular atom that solidifies into white crystals at -77 degrees Celsius and that the sun is halfway through it’s supply of hydrodren atoms and that only about a 7th of the converted atoms actually convert heat, AND that the sun (After it ascends into it’s red giant state that will probably engulf Earth unless it escapes it’s orbit which is unlikely) will probably become a white dwarf. (I suppose the outer planets would probably drift into space since the sun would be so much smaller with much less of a gravitational pull. Along with mars since it would be lucky enough to escape. But then again, it’ll eventually become a cold barren rock…) I also know that by 2030, there will be nanotechnology which will eliminate the effects of aging for humans and by 2045 people may be able to live in a virtually world forever. Seriously, you could tell by my advanced vocabulary that I’m at least kinda smart. The next thing I need to work on-not using slang when online…I just wanna know if I’m a genius!!! HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! (<_< I think there is the slightest possibility that there is a slim chance that I just might be getting a little dumb….)

  138. Nicholas Caseon 11 Feb 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Okay, my vocabulary is better than that it’s just that I type fast and I write really messy…geeze…

  139. B. Macon 11 Feb 2011 at 9:28 pm

    “You can get published with permission from your parents. If they clear it with you and your parents, you can publish.” I’m not a lawyer, but I think there’s more to child labor law than just getting the parents’ permission.

    For example, let’s say I’m an editor and I urgently need a rewrite from an author that will take ~30 hours. If the author is a minor and I ask for the rewrite within a week, am I violating child labor laws? For example, in the UK, students can only work 12 hours a school week. US laws are a bit more flexible, allowing for up to 18 hours in a school week for 14 and 15 year olds. It’s hard enough getting things done at 40-50 hours per week, but if the writer were limited to 18 (or, God help us, 12), we’d be absolutely screwed.

    However, I should caution that this is just the idle speculation of someone that is neither a lawyer nor an experienced editor. If you know better, please feel free to fill me in.



    Realistically, though, I think the main obstacle to companies publishing minors is that the vast majority of minors are not practiced/experienced enough. If a 16 or 17 year old were otherwise good enough to publish, I bet someone would be willing to put in the extra hassle to take on that author because it’d be a compelling personal bio for a YA author.

  140. Nicholas Caseon 11 Feb 2011 at 10:02 pm

    Ahhhhhhhhh shiz…so I’m screwed till I’m 20… I’ll never get royalty checks and still be able to chill at home and not pay bills-nothing! Ugh! It makes me want to throw my love for writing right out the window. What should I do B.Mac? I don’t want to wait till I’m 20, I can take all my time when I’m at home from school to write! (Our teachers never give us homework for shiz) Ugh! I don’t know what to do-but I can’t abandon Dunimas, Arre, and (arguably) Exsusia! They’re the first thing that pops in my head when I think of anime, action, or dunimations-SEE! Man…But I did think of a funny joke for Nora to ask Dunimas after he annoys her though…

    Nora: Do you smoke or drink alcohol?
    Dunimas:I do not smoke alcohol, but I’d bet it’s be very hard to do. If we froze it like a candy bar then maybe we could smoke it but I’ve never tried smoking candybars. Well I’ve never smoked a candy bar but…you know…

  141. Nicholas Caseon 11 Feb 2011 at 10:04 pm

    The point is, why didn’t you tell me this when you found out I was just a kid? Is there something you’re not telling me? I doubt you’d forget-as many posts I’ve made here. I’m kinda upset now…

  142. B. Macon 11 Feb 2011 at 11:53 pm

    Well, I’d recommend going through the process like any other writer. Write, do a review group, rewrite, submit for publication, rewrite and resubmit until you get published. You’ll develop your writing skills and will get published more quickly that way.

    If your writing were well-polished and otherwise publishable, I don’t think your age would necessarily be a problem. (Indeed, if your writing were REALLY solid, there are some places that would regard your age as a promotional asset). So I think your main goal should be practicing your skills to the point where they become professional-grade. In no particular order:
    –Read heavily, particularly in your genres and subgenres.
    –Master the mechanics (grammar/spelling/punctuation).
    –Finish your story.
    –Rewrite heavily.
    –Review as many works as possible.
    –Have your works reviewed in depth as much as possible, etc.

    PS: Have you seen the CAUTION: HIGHLY DEPRESSING category here? That’s where I cover the most daunting obstacles to becoming an author. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. :-)



    Age doesn’t matter to me and I’d actually rather not know. (Rule #1 of the Internet: leave out as much personal information as possible). Sometimes I am truly impressed by authors significantly younger than I am. Off the top of my head, I am 99% sure that Becca and R.B. will be published at a younger age than I will be. (I think I’ll be published in my mid-to-late 20s but at least one of them should make it in college). They’ve worked harder and have put in more time than I had when I was their age. Also, they seem to be considerably further along in developing a personal style than I had been.

  143. Nicholas Caseon 12 Feb 2011 at 6:25 am

    I’ve already read that. Also I did a re-write on my first fight scene. Is it any better?

    “I can use it however ‘unnecessary’ it is.” Haden insisted before charging at Nicholas with blinding force. Haden almost landed his uppercut but was countered by a brutal hammer fist from Nicholas to his head. Hmm…these guys are more than talk after all. Haden thought blinking the stinging blood from his forehead out of his eyes.

    “Alright you get ready for the uppercut you’ll never forget!” said Kyu, coming from Haden’s right, who flew towards him and punched Haden right in the jaw. To Haden, it felt as if Kyu hit him with a sledgehammer. He then delivered a shell shocking uppercut to Haden, causing his head to jerk up. Wincing in pain, he was sent plummeting face first into the gritty dirt by a painful dropkick.

    Haden fixed his gaze on Nicholas, he looked intrigued. Haden knew he had to keep him busy or he might get wind of what Haden was trying to do. Falling, Kyu almost dealt Haden a glancing body slam, but Haden evaded and grabbed Kyu’s arm. It bought him precious seconds, nothing more, nothing less. He swung Kyu around and threw him right at Nicholas, missing him by a whisper. Nicholas jumped over and threw a lethal right hook. Although he was hit, he managed to spin with it just in time to thwart the damage and leave Nicholas open with a blind spot. He landed a whirling back fist to the back of Nicholas’s head, stunning him on the ground. Haden then felt something hit his left hand hard, so he jumped back to get a quick look. It looked like Kyu had gotten slapped by his left hands recoil, but when his eyes rolled to the left he saw a gashed eyeball about a meter away. Haden knew he had gotten a very lucky break. With Nicholas unconscious and Kyu in agonizing pain, he could take his pick on which one went with him and which one stayed.

  144. NicKennyon 12 Feb 2011 at 9:31 am

    Most badass makeshift prison weapon: I think it was Criminal minds when a guy melted the end of his toothbrush and inserted a razor blade in the end, making a quite usable knife.

  145. B. Macon 12 Feb 2011 at 11:32 am

    I grew up in a rather seedy part of Chicago and on the ride home from kindergarten I once did some of the kiddie sign language they taught in class. The bus driver pulled over because he thought I was throwing gang signs. Quick, how do you sign “N-O-T Q-U-I-T-E”?

  146. Nicholas Caseon 12 Feb 2011 at 9:08 pm

    What? That…was the…strangest…thing…ever B.Mac…just wanted…to know if my scene was better…(*runs away screaming*)

  147. B. Macon 13 Feb 2011 at 1:03 am

    What? I brought up Chicago in response to NicKenny’s Criminal Minds comment about something totally innocuous (toothbrushes) getting turned into something dangerous (knives). Crime is so bad in Chicago (at least where I grew up) that people sometimes confuse one for the other. (IE: childish sign language and gang behavior).

  148. Nicholas Caseon 13 Feb 2011 at 4:07 am

    Okay, I was kidding about that running away part. It just seemed a little strange is all. Well um…I guess I’ll keep proofreading my fight scene.

  149. Marquelon 29 Mar 2011 at 7:13 pm

    i am writing a story about mutants teenagers. they are being trained to be super-soldiers. any advice

  150. Ghoston 29 Mar 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Marquel,
    Advice in regards to what? Fight scenes? Character Development? Plot structure? It might be more helpful for everyone to know exactly what you want help with.

  151. B. Macon 29 Mar 2011 at 9:07 pm

    I second that emotion, Ghost. I think it’d be a lot easier for me if you offered a more specific question, Marquel. Is there anything in particular you’re looking for help with? (If not, I think the best I could do would be to point you to my index of superhero writing articles). Alternately, if you’d like to describe your work in a few paragraphs, I could give some impressions and suggestions.



    If I were evaluating your submission, two of the first questions on my mind would be “What does this story bring to the table that, say, X-Men or GI Joe doesn’t? How is it different/better?” As for the teen protagonist angle, how are the protagonists different from and/or more interesting than other protagonists of similar works?

  152. Castilleon 06 Apr 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Say B.mac… I’m thinking about my next chapter right now currently. It involves Greg fighting two werewolves at once. He only has his glock with twelve rounds of silver bullets in it. There might not be any room for any tie action, so he’s going to have to be fast with his aim. And/or whatever fighting skills he learned in Quantico.

    How could he handle two fully transformed werewolves just by himself? …Or one, assuming he gets lucky with his first shot. I don’t really know… in my head it has the potential to be a good fight.

    What do you suggest?

    *if you read my last chapter, you might have noticed there were four werewolves in the glade. But Amber’s ‘dead’ , and I plan to have Marv be chased off by a Bigfoot*

  153. B. Macon 06 Apr 2011 at 6:37 pm

    “How could he handle two fully transformed werewolves just by himself?” One possibility is that he doesn’t go for the win, just for a draw. Maybe he can use his bullets to buy him time to escape to a place where he can hole himself up and it’d be suicide for the wolves to come any closer. Alternately, maybe he runs in somewhere like a cave where the werewolves’ massive size is a liability and they can’t surprise him by leaping or climbing. (They have to come at him slowly and carefully, and that will give him more time to line up a shot).

    Besides some place like a cave, I think his best chance would be like the side of a mountain far enough from the treeline that he’d be able to see them coming. If he has an unclimbable cliff behind him, he doesn’t have to worry about getting savaged from behind. One of the disadvantages here is that 1) he has no place to run and 2) an open space gives the werewolves a lot of opportunities to dodge his shots. They’re pretty fast, right?

    I would recommend against having him kill one of the wolves right away. Perhaps he wounds it instead? That way, the stakes are still higher than his last werewolf bout.

    PS: Sorry, I still have chapters 12-14 in my inbox.

  154. Castilleon 06 Apr 2011 at 11:17 pm

    Hmmm…for the fight scene, my plot requires Greg to remain relatively near Amber’s body. Or at the very least, not straying too far from the clearing. Thing is, Greg still has that antidote for Khazu#11 on his person…and he has a directive from the feds to obtain a sample of the super-power drug. So….I’m kind of stuck in this place where he has to fight in an open area.

    By the way have you had a chance to at least read chapters 12-14 yet?

  155. B. Macon 06 Apr 2011 at 11:27 pm

    “…my plot requires Greg to remain relatively near Amber’s body. Or at the very least, not straying too far from the clearing… and he has a directive from the feds to obtain a sample of the super-power drug.” Well, all of his directives from the feds are secondary to staying alive. If he dies, he fails everything, right? :) He could decide that he’s forced to temporarily abandon Amber’s body and, like every significant choice, there will be Consequences either way.



    No, I haven’t read them yet.

  156. Castilleon 08 Apr 2011 at 3:21 pm

    So I came up with a sort of semi-compromise. Greg manages to sneak to Amber’s body without attracting the attention of the wolves, and then injects the antidote. However, the antidote works faster than he’d expected, and the other wolves take notice. Greg is then forced to quickly consume the vomited Khazu#11 (The super-power drug) in order to avoid being eaten alive.

    Then he kicks butt with his new powers.

    But one of the werewolves still gets away-maybe scared off by Bigfoot?

    Did I say Vomit? Oh yeah, that was because Amber was actually ‘revived’ (actually brought back from the near death state she was in)

    Are there any problems with my idea?

    …the ‘reviving’ idea has been in my outline for a long time and the rest of the plot centers on it.

  157. B. Macon 08 Apr 2011 at 7:05 pm

    “Greg is then forced to quickly consume the vomited Khazu#11 (The super-power drug) in order to avoid being eaten alive.” Okay, that sounds horribly gross but clever (in a totally desperate sort of way). I would sort of like there to be some unpleasant long-term consequences for this act of desperation–in my experience, eating a werewolf’s vomit has rarely been a sure sign of a good time.

    One thing I like about this in terms of his characterization is that he puts himself on the line in a very major way to comply with his agency’s directives. (By consuming the drug himself, he ensures that he’ll be able to provide a sample to the agency even if he loses her body).

  158. Castilleon 09 Apr 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Hmm…. The power he gains is a psychic ability. He uses this to absolutely slaughter the first two wolves, but then is stalemated against the third wolf.

    What I’m thinking is that he discovers that on their first full moon transformation, the wolves only have an animal mind. There’s such a new wolf in the pack he’s battling.
    So for that one he has to use his wits, and figure out how to apply the psychic powers to the surrounding environment.
    He wastes the rest of his bullets, before Big foot intervenes and scares away the last one.

    Then he goes to deal with Amber. That was the big reason behind the psychic ability, is that was the only way Greg would ever know she was telling the truth about wanting to be good now.

    *As in-she thinks something about reforming, and Greg hears it- and this is before she knows he can read minds. Oh, and he can tell it’s a sincere wish*

    -Another thing, by this point, Amber’s also smart enough to know that a mere wish to reform probably isn’t enough. So…her ‘first step’ is to turn herself in to Greg’s custody.
    (I’m assuming you’ve read chapter fourteen by now)

  159. genasieon 23 Apr 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I’m stuck on how to write a training scene that is supposed to last about the duration of a school day, including breaks. But when ever I’m writing it takes my character about a few paragraphs before he ha perfected his task. I want it to take him a long time to completely control his power’s abilities. I want my readers to understand that he wasn’t perfect from the beginning. Any advice?

  160. B. Macon 24 Apr 2011 at 2:47 am

    If the training session is about eight hours long, you could try tests where he has to practice his skills in something approaching real-world conditions, maybe with his teammates. For example, if your character were an inexperienced telekinetic, maybe he’d spend a few pages trying (without much success) to pull a dummy out of a burning building and get razzed by his teammates and/or instructors for initially causing more damage to the victim than the fall would have.

    To show how hard this is for the character, you could have the training be initially unsuccessful. For example, maybe it takes him more than a school day to figure out the task at hand and he wonders if this will ever “click” for him. He may push himself too hard and accidentally injure himself in training.

    Depending on how many training sessions there are, you could make the objectives increasingly difficult/impossible as the character improves. For example, setting an egg down without cracking it, stopping bullets in mid-flight, defusing a bomb mentally, etc.

  161. Genasieon 24 Apr 2011 at 3:30 am

    Thanks, that helped alot!

  162. Genasieon 24 Apr 2011 at 3:46 am

    Wait, one more question. How should my director explain to my character how to control his powers? Whenever I start trying to explain how to I either don’t really know how my character should feel when controlling his powers or when I’m explaining I make it too confusing.

  163. B. Macon 24 Apr 2011 at 7:45 am

    “How should my director explain to my character how to control his powers?” Could you tell me more about the characters and powers involved? Also, if you’d like, I could read a draft of a scene and offer some advice.

  164. genasieon 24 Apr 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Well, I don’t really have a draft for the training scene written now because when i was reading over my story I decided I needed to add about two months worth of pages in the middle,which I’m writing now. The part that I’m adding is only about five pages long and I started writing my training scene, but I destroyed it shortly after. I have a training scene for later in the story but it has a different trainer. So I was wondering if you had time to read my story from the beginning to the part with my first training scene. It’s only about thirty-something pages. I’ll write a draft if that will help. Thanks.

  165. B. Macon 24 Apr 2011 at 2:17 pm

    Sure. If you’d like to send it to me, I can be reached either at superheronation-at-gmail-dot-com or through my contact form.

  166. genasieon 24 Apr 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Great, but you’ll have to give me a few days to type up what I have and write the draft. Thanks.

  167. B. Macon 24 Apr 2011 at 2:52 pm

    No rush.

  168. matton 18 May 2011 at 6:58 pm

    I am writing a short story about a young superhero. My question is what should the tone of the first fight? Should it be easier on him, so the audience get a feel for his powers and character.Or should I push him to his limits, physically and morally, within the first 1500 words.

  169. B. Macon 18 May 2011 at 8:24 pm

    “My question is what should the tone of the first fight?” I think it depends on the story. A lot of relatively upbeat superheroes have a honeymoon period where the character first discovers his superpowers and it’s all pretty smooth sailing for him, but if you were doing a character like the Punisher, I imagine you’d have a pretty good reason to push the character even from the start.

    Personally, I’d find a greater challenge more interesting.

  170. Marquelon 05 Jul 2011 at 6:13 pm

    Ok im writing a story about mutant kids with power, but i choose to give them a different name instead of mutant. i writing from the bad guy side of the story and dont know what to write about

  171. Snowon 16 Aug 2011 at 9:57 pm

    One thing that I’ve found particularly challenging is to do a plausible battle with a teleporter. Everyone I showed drafts to thought I was either being cheap (by having the character leave and bring back an improvised weapon) or too confusing (by having him teleporting around trying to dodge).

    Any suggestions?

    (By the way, I’m using words, not comics. Just to clear it up, because I realize that might make something of a difference.)

  172. Peteron 03 Nov 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Yeah I think its difficult to do a battle with a teleporter because its going to be fast paced with he/she moving all the time whilst the other trying to defend or attack, would you be able to show us a draft and maybe someone can see where your going wrong and help you improve?

  173. Pinkkatielynon 31 Mar 2012 at 12:50 pm

    I’m trying to write a story and I’ve come to a place where I need a fight scene. I think I’m doing alright, but I think I need some help and a lot of advice. I followed directions for writing a fight scene, but I’m not sure if it’s working. Sorry it’s long, but here it is:

    As soon as I was an arm’s length away from him, I drew my dagger with one motion and tried to swing it at him. He ducked and kicked at my legs. I fell to the ground and raised my hands over my head to protect myself from continuous blows from Allen’s foot.
    I felt Allen back up and I lowered my arms. He placed his hands on his legs as he tried to catch his breath. I stood up. I spun and kicked Allen in the ribs, sending him to the ground. I turned rapidly at jumped up, kicking Chander in the stomach, knocking him down too.
    Two down, two to go.
    I turned away from Annie and Shay and stepped forward. I planted my feet firmly of the ground. I had a feeling of what would happen next. I felt a rush of wind and heard Annie’s thundering footsteps. I jumped up and right over her head as she passed underneath me. She stopped suddenly and looked up. I started to fall but I flew up to the top of the cave.
    I looked down to see that Annie and Shay were helping their wounded friends up. I then realized that I had time to think of a plan. I sent a beam of light out of my hand and morphed it into a long sword that I could use against them. I smiled. I somehow knew that I wouldn’t win, but I would die trying.

    But I wasn’t listening to myself anymore. Again, Shay stood on the ground protected by Annie. Chander and Allen managed to jump onto the top of the cave. They were angry.

    I could use all the help I can get! Please let me know if I can improve anything. I need help!

  174. Carl Shinyamaon 31 Mar 2012 at 2:30 pm

    First paragraph, I’d suggest this:

    As soon as I was an arm’s length away from him, I drew my dagger and with one motion, swung it (perhaps include something that describes how the dagger was swung) at him. He ducked the underneath and kicked my legs. I fell to the (describe the ground – is it hard? Soft? Jagged?) ground (painfully – describe how you fell to the ground; make it visceral) and raised my hands to my head, which were soon accompanied by continuous blows from Allen’s foot.

    Second paragraph, I’m not going to suggest changes, since I had a little trouble following you, so I’ll just ask questions:

    How did you feel Allen get up before your arms were lowered? Perhaps use a more specific visceral sense, like you heard the unmistakable shuffle of Allen’s feet on the ground, and when you lowered your hands, you saw that Allen was on his feet. What was your observation of Allen when you saw he was on his feet? Yes, he is catching his breath, but are you trying to tell the reader that he greatly overexerted himself, and does that now mean that you have the edge against him stamina-wise? Did you stand up effortlessly? With a lot of effort? Painfully? Did Allen make no effort to defend himself? Same with Chander? What was Chander doing while you were fighting Allen?

    Third paragraph:

    What did you have a feeling would happen next? You felt a rush of wind and you heard footsteps? That seems to imply you felt the wind first before you heard footsteps, which would seem pretty backwards. Right here is an opportune time to describe Annie’s attack on you between the sound footsteps and your subsequent dodge. I would change the fifth sentence to, “I cleverly somersaulted over Annie’s head, avoiding her blow as she sailed underneath me.” .. After that, though, I’m pretty confused as to what is happening. You started to fall, but you flew up to the top of the cave? How does this happen?

  175. YoungAuthoron 31 Mar 2012 at 3:33 pm

    @ Pinkkatielyn- http://www.superheronation.com/2012/01/07/young-authors-review-forum/

    Try looking at that. I’ve been told that i write good action scenes so you can check those out for inspiration. I hope they help :D

  176. Juliaon 20 Aug 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Ugh! I have such a hard time writing fight scenes! I don’t even know how many I’ve scrapped so far in my story :/

  177. Lonnieon 24 Oct 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Yes, I must agree with the “it felt like time slowed down” comment. For me, when I am sparring, it feels more like nothing. Your mind’s main focus is to defeat your opponent. No other thoughts enter my mind. In retrospect, it kind of feels like you’re not in your body. When not sparring, or exercising in general, thoughts are always in my mind. However, when sparring, I don’t really feel anything. I can’t really explain the sensation. Yes, you feel every blow that is thrown at you, but you don’t think about it. Rather, you think about defeating your opponent, and only that.
    I hope this contributes.

  178. Dr. Vo Spaderon 21 Nov 2012 at 9:01 am

    Most of the altercations I’ve been in have been short and violent. Do you have any tips on how to downplay the effects of an attack? (I’d rather not include graphic writing further than bruises due to the tone of my story, but I’m afraid it could be criticized for unrealistic after effects.)

  179. [...] him down long. (imagine The Tick fighting himself, without the comedy)  This was a little helpful Five Ways to Write Intense Fight Scenes (Superhero and Fantasy)  Also listening to the Man Of Steel soundtrack on loop seems to [...]

  180. GreenWithAwesomeon 25 Jul 2013 at 1:17 pm

    Sorry if this has been said, but I read somewhere that, in terms of formatting, sentences should be kept short. No/ Few conjunctions (like ‘and’, ‘but’ or ‘because’) or run-on sentences. For example:

    “Cement Man launched a punch at Brick Man. The fist of molten concrete collided with Brick Man; he launched backwards and crashed straight into the Town Hall. He could feel the blood staining his shirt. His favourite shirt – Cement Man was going to pay.”

    Ignoring the bad paragraph that is my example, do you agree with this? I think it does a good job at keeping the whole fight scene succint (point seven) and shows how the fight is going at a pace. However, I’m not entirely sure about it and could do with second opinion. Thanks!

    ~ GwA

  181. B. McKenzieon 25 Jul 2013 at 1:57 pm

    “I read somewhere that… sentences should be kept short. No/few conjunctions like ‘and,’ ‘but’ or ‘because’ or run-on sentences… Do you agree with this?”

    Generally, no. If a scene were very hard to follow and/or every sentence were monotonously long, I might suggest simplifying the sentences (particularly for non-adult audiences), but generally I don’t see conjunctions as a problem. I’m guessing every bestseller uses at least 150-250. For example, Silence of the Lambs uses “but” 100 times. In English usage, “and” is among the top 10 most frequently used words and “but” is in the top 40.

    I’d recommend being very sparing with run-on sentences. I think they’re a bit pretentious and flowery.

  182. GreenWithAwesomeon 25 Jul 2013 at 2:09 pm

    Thanks for the advice! This is applicable to fight scenes as well, I’m guessing? Normally I wouldn’t mind using conjunctions, but it just seems to stunt the flow when I’m writing fast-paced action sequences.

  183. Thalamuson 31 Jul 2013 at 1:51 am

    I am wondering how I could show a decent fight scene between a sorcerer and people with guns. My issue is that if he is capable of creating some kind of shield, they will pose no threat to him, but if he is incapable of protecting himself, he will pose no threat to anyone that happens to have a gun (less problematic, since my story is set in England, than if it were in America, but still an issue). I was thinking of finding some happy middle ground – maybe he could be able to freeze the bullets or slow them down sufficiently to dodge them, but has to maintain extreme focus to keep them there, limiting his ability to fight back while defending himself. What do you think?

  184. Scriffonon 01 Oct 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Hi all, I stumbled across this page because I needed help with my scenes.

    I’m writing a coming of age story about a girl being thrust out into the world. It’s settled in time in between 1600s to 1800s, when the sword started to die out, but when the matchlock wasn’t strong enough to make it completely obsolete. I set it in a fantasy world, and it has magic, dragons, the generic fantasy items that you’d normally see. My character has two major abilities: the ability to shape shift into a large wolf (think Mackenzie Valley Wolf, and for those who don’t know how large it is compared to the other wolves: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/151/4/7/wolf_species_size_comparison_by_tanathe.jpg ) and the ability to control fire without saying or having any aids before hand (ie, she can snap her fingers and *boom* fire.) I tend to go overboard and make her go into a frenzy, and I try to make it toned down, but (usually) to no avail.

    Help! Anything’ll do, and remember: most enemies she runs into don’t have matchlock pistols (She travels on the road less traveled, literally.)

  185. […] 5 Ways to Write Intense Fight Scenes (Superhero and Fantasy) by Superhero Nation […]

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