Jun 28 2008
Five More Mistakes of First-Time Novelists (#11-15)
This short article will help beginning novelists avoid another five common mistakes that will usually cause publishers to throw out a manuscript.
You can see the first two articles in this series here and here.
11. Failing to name the main character (or waiting too long to do so) is usually a mistake. It will probably annoy readers and cause a publisher to reject the manuscript. Failing to name the main character forces the author to use goofy and circuitous writing to somehow avoid naming the character (perhaps as “the detective” or, worse, “the hero”). Failing to name the character also surrenders a great opportunity to build the character with a strong name. It also deprives the audience of an easy way to mentally refer to the character.
12. If your premise is unusual, reveal it upfront rather than trying to “surprise” readers with it later. Why wait 10 pages to tell us that the main character is a cat or a street-lamp? If your premise is interesting, there are readers that will appreciate the book for what it is. The best way to attract those readers is to tell them what your book is about. If you try to use your premise as a “surprise,” your audience will be comprised of readers that had no idea what they were getting into and probably won’t appreciate that you misled them. Holding back the premise almost always results in failure. One sign that you need to be more upfront about your premise is that your story hides information from the audience that the point-of-view character has, such as which species he belongs to. As a rule, the audience is entitled to everything relevant that the POV character knows.
13. Be careful with characters from traditional fantasy races, particularly elves and dragons. Elves and dragons are usually not really characters but instead collections of clichés. For example, elves are typically nature-loving, elegant, magical, perhaps obnoxiously arrogant and not much more. If you plan to use one of these cliché races, I highly recommend giving them a few unexpected character traits and creative negative aspects. Also, try to explore the reasoning behind some of the cliches you plan to use. Why do dragons like hording gold? Why are elves more nature-attuned than, say, dwarves or humans? Try to delve into their mindset beyond the cliches. What do dragons do for fun? Etc.
14. Don’t focus on irrelevant visual details. For example, many authors will describe the color of a character’s eyes and hair. That’s usually a mistake, because eye-color doesn’t suggest anything interesting about a character. It doesn’t matter if a character’s eyes are green rather than blue. In contrast, a relevant detail will show us something interesting about the character. A character with rough and sunworn skin is substantially different than someone with soft and milky skin.
The most effective visual details usually suggest something about the character’s lifestyle and personal choices. For example, does he wear his hair in a shaggy mop or does he have a Marine-style buzzcut? Either one of those would tell us more about the character than what color his hair is. Is he wearing the same Rush t-shirt he rolled out of bed in or has he had his outfit planned since last Tuesday? Etc.
15. Please, please do not give aliens “exotic” names like Qwe’rty-Uiop. Unpronounceable strings of letters are not exotic; they are completely unacceptable. A better way to create exotic-sounding alien names is by taking familiar sounds and then stringing them together. For example, Brad and Darian are familiar to your readers, and together they make Bradarian. If that’s not alien enough, you could cut off a few letters to make Bradar. Likewise, Tim and Milly could make Timilly or Timil. Alternatively, you could add some letters, so that Tim and Milly would make Intimilly.
This article was the third part of a series. If you’d like to read about how to avoid other common writing mistakes, you’ll find the links just below.
These lists are really helpful. Do you think you’ll be adding any more soon?
11. Isaac is named in the third paragraph. But I’m a little concerned. Does this line seem annoying? “I’m Isaac, your typical dork. You know, the guy you never notice until class speeches or he makes a fool of himself”.
It’s just for him to introduce himself, but he often breaks the fourth wall throughout the book to comment on something, so it’s not the only line addressed to the reader.
14. It’s rare that I mention that type of thing.
Regarding Isaac’s self-introduction… Personally, I’m not feeling it, but I think that your audience will find it more amenable. I’m not too familiar with young adult novels, but the narrator of each Animorphs book tended to introduce himself in a very intrusive way. As far as I know, young readers are not very put off by that.
Also, I’m open to the idea of adding more, but I just need to think of another 5 recurring problems.
Hey, going on your part about being careful with characters from traditional fantasy races, particularly elves and dragons.
In my fifth story, I’m using Banshees. I did some research on them and I used some parts of the myths and what I’ve done is this.
Banshees live for 800 to 900 years. Female banshees are born with black hair and when they mature at 400 to 450 years there hair turns blond. It’d be the reverse for males.
A full grown Banshee’s scream can shred concrete and burst eardrums.
Banshees rule over the otherworld with the Knight’s heart, a jewel that allows them to summon the headless horseman, the greatest swordsman in the otherworld.
Banshees are ok in general, but they have bad blood with Angels and think themselves superior to Sirens. They’re a bit more agile and stronger than humans and a few use magic.
How’s that? Do you think it’s feasible for a story?
I think that your banshees would fit in smoothly in a story like Hellboy or maybe something like Zantanna, but I don’t think that they’d fit in your story as well. Your characters are more technological than magical, for one. The story may feel “weird” because it starts with a mostly sci-fi premise and shifts to elements that are fantasy (like banshees).
Also, some of the details about banshees might be a bit too insignificant to tell readers about. For example, the differences between male and female banshees. Why does it matter how old they live or how long it takes them to mature? Why does the color of their hair matter? I don’t think those details will interest readers enough to bother with.
Well, I also tried a story with a haunted hotel. The team and others were killed one by one by different means, but I couldn’t think of a full plot. Any ideas?
Another plot I have is Lady Evil Hand returns (I sent you the second story a while back, dunno if you remember). Anyways, she unleashes a deadly virus that quickly sweeps across the city and she demands a huge sum of money for the cure. Due to there genetic makeup, only Silence and D are immune to it. Chain and Solar come down sick.
I think this would be great for character development for both D and Silence. Silence can really develop her fighting style and such.
#14 You are right but isn’t it okay to describe hair colour to help the reader to picture the character? I know eye colour isn’t exactly important but is it okay to include it anyway?
#15 What is your opinion on using made up names, even ones that are probably easy to pronounce? Is it generally better to use real names? Are there advantages to making up names?
Thank you so much for your articles they’re helpful and interesting!
Addressing #14: I think there’s a trick you can use instead of just blatant saying the hair color. They giving a detail about the hair that suggests something about the character’s personality or lifestyle and fitting the color subtlely into that. For example, “James threw the same shirt he had on yesterday and didn’t bother to comb his shaggy, dark brown hair.” I got the color across, but more important I told you something about the character, he’s a bit of a slob.
Addressing #15: Oh, you didn’t have to take it so literally.
You can used exotic names, but make sure they’re not overly exotic and just plain weird. I liked B. Mac’s advice to combine common names to make exotic names, that’s how I name one of my characters. Alternatively, if the name isn’t too over the top I think it’s okay to use. Go for it!
Addressing David.
“Another plot I have is Lady Evil Hand returns (I sent you the second story a while back, dunno if you remember). Anyways, she unleashes a deadly virus that quickly sweeps across the city and she demands a huge sum of money for the cure. Due to there genetic makeup, only Silence and D are immune to it. Chain and Solar come down sick.”
I think this plot is a bit overwrought and banal. I think something fresher would be much more interesting. Maybe Lady Evil Hand (I thought you changed her name) gets infected herself and needs something special (that only the city can offer) for the cure. That’s not much better, but it’s just a suggestion. I also think that the motive of getting money is pretty dry and two-dimensional for villains.
“I think this would be great for character development for both D and Silence. Silence can really develop her fighting style and such.”
If this would be the second story arc they’re in I would that the characters are already fully developed. I can see her developing her fighting style, but personality-wise you should be done developing her by this point.
I somewhat agree with your input on not putting in eye color or hair unless it’s important to their lifestyle, but I also disagree. It can be important to making your character realistic by mentioning their eye color. If you wanted your character to stand out as much as possible you could make their hair be black with red tips and eyes be a slight violet or a forest green. These details aren’t all that important but it still develops the character and makes the character seem like an actual person. I feel like a lot of books say things like “he is tall with spiky sandy-blonde hair, deep hazel eyes, and tan skin.” That gives a lot of detail, which is good, but I feel like that could describe a lot of people. I feel that the characters that are important or even have powers and that sort of thing should have unique features.
I definitely agree with #13. If you think about Twilight, there are vampires but they are different than the traditional vampire most people know. These vampires did have pale, cold skin and drank blood but that was pretty much where the similarities stopped. Sun didn’t hurt them but it would give away who they are (their skin sparkled in the sun). If you use elves or fairies or mermaids or whatever it is, try to make it original. You might have a few similar characteristics, but make it your own.
Quoting Liesl: “You are right but isn’t it okay to describe hair colour to help the reader to picture the character? I know eye colour isn’t exactly important but is it okay to include it anyway?”
I think hair color is less distracting than eye color. Not a huge problem, particularly if it’s been worked in smoothly. However, it’s really hard to work in eye color, particularly at the beginning. Eye color will really zoom in the reader’s mental camera. It usually isn’t appropriate to mention eye color unless the scene needs us to zoom in. For example, maybe we’re in a really intimate scene or two conflicting characters are RIGHT in each other’s faces. When two lovers are gazing longingly at each other, then it makes sense to mention eye color. When someone meets someone else for the first time, it will almost certainly feel weird to mention it.
11. named in the first sentence.
12. why would i do that? i havnt.
13. not done before! unless ungreat minds think alike.
14. i described him by lumping on adjectives to when part of him is doing something: is that okay?
15. mine are made up but easy to pronounce, like “haki” and “dakin”
“Why do dragons like hording gold?”
in myth and folk narratives, serpents (dragons are serpents) are often depicted as keepers of a treasure. if anyone is interested in sources (I hope I have something in english), I can mail it.
Actually, I read somewhere that because the sole weakness of dragons was the fact that their stomachs bear no armor, so they collected gold and jewels to use as a sort of armor. Or, y’know, maybe they’re like me and like shiny things.
- Wings
“I read somewhere that because the sole weakness of dragons was the fact that their stomachs bear no armor, so they collected gold and jewels to use as a sort of armor.” I think that the gold-as-armor was mentioned in The Hobbit, although I’m not sure it was a conscious choice for Smaug.
@Wings: if that were true, how would they manage to get it on them after they morphed it into something wearable?
Although I barely remember reading The Hobbit, they merely pressed the objects onto their flesh. You know, like sticking a penny on your forehead, but more so.
- Wings