Dec 29 2007
Superhero Questionnaire
This questionnaire will help you design a superhero or supervillain, whether you’re writing a novel or comic book.
Background
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What kind of person was your hero before he got superpowers? (A friendly but awkward nerd? Guilty of CIAing while black?)
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What sort of job/educational background does he have? (Do these affect his superhero career?)
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Why should prospective readers care about your hero? What is it about his background that will appeal to them?
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How old is he?
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What kind of goals did he have before becoming a superhero? What kinds of problems?
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What sort of problems does his world have before he became a superhero? Did he notice/care about these problems? (Or did he have a happy and carefree childhood until he saw his parents get murdered?)
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What does your character think about his world? (Mostly happy? Looking to escape? Looking for something more?)
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Is there anything in your character’s past that he regrets or will regret, like nearly joining a gang or failing to save his uncle?
- Does your character’s background make him a better superhero? For example, Superman’s side-job as an investigative journalist frequently gives him leads to look into. Many heroes have scientific or technological skills, etc.
Origin Story
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Was he born super?
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Did he choose to be a superhero? Why? (Which personal feelings/experiences influenced that choice? Losing a loved one to criminals? Being a disillusioned cop? Etc.)
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If he did not choose, what caused/forced him to become super? (A physical transformation? Government conscription? Forced servitude?) Is he attempting to become normal? How and why?
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Was he chosen to become a superhero? Who chose him? Why? (Maybe she won Amazonian trials or aced government tests embedded in the SAT).
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Assuming that your character was not born super, what caused him to become super?
Secret Identity
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Does your character have a secret identity? If so, why? What would the consequences be if his enemies, friends and/or the public found out who he is?
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How do his powers make it harder (or easier) to keep his secret-identity secret?
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Has his work as a superhero noticeably changed his body? (For example, Peter Parker gets a lot tougher and picks up unusual bruises and scars). How would your hero conceal these changes from his friends? If a friend noticed anyway, how might he try to explain them away?
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Has he told anyone who he is? Why? Does anyone else know?
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Does the government care who he is?
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What does your character do to keep his identity safe? (Anything besides wearing a mask?)
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Is anyone close to discovering the truth?
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Has anyone publically accused him of being the hero? Has he taken any steps to discredit his accusers or disprove their claims?
Superpowers
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Here’s an obvious question: what superpowers does your superhero have? Less obviously, when your enthusiastic fans try to tell their friends about your story, they will usually start by saying which superpowers your character has. Will they be able to describe your character’s powers in one easy sentence?
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Do his superpowers affect his civilian life in any way?
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Does your superhero have a special mode of transport? (Not that there’s anything wrong with the subway, but you do get weird stares).
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Readers love being surprised. How will your superhero use his powers to surprise us? Will he be able to resolve his problems in new and fresh ways?
Thanks a lot.
This will be a big help. I thought of random bits in class one day, and I’ll be using this to fill in the spaces.
Do you think this could work? I don’t know whether I’ll use this idea, but I want an opinion on it.
Isaac is picking up all sorts of injuries from his superhero work, and hides them as they heal. His parents become suspicious when they catch him practically in tears four times in three weeks (It’s the result of stress and also sadness after his first failure).
When they notice that he’s wearing jumpers in thirty degrees Celsius, they order him to remove them, but he knows that they’ll see his injuries and find out. Due to his refusal, they now believe that he is hurting himself, which he isn’t. He gets over his sadness and becomes himself again, just more on guard against his parents. Isaac never fully descends into an emo funk, but has fleeting moments where he thinks that life in general sucks. He’s fine a few seconds later and gets on with it. This storyline lasts only three chapters, and his parents’ suspicion is eradicated when he removes his jumper a few days later to reveal that he has no cuts. There is one slash on his arm which he gave himself stitches for, and I was thinking that he could lie to a doctor later and get it done properly.
Your thoughts? Thanks!
Okay, that’s superheroes. But what about normal heroes? For example, my novel is about a kid, who takes his girlfriend to a new nightclub on their second anniversary. His girlfriend gets raped and he gets beat up. She kills herself thinking that he died. He essentially declares war on drugs in Vancouver. He sets gangs against each other, burns crops and gets chased by the police. The thing is he doesn’t have superpowers or gadgets, just an unstoppable force of will and a lot of luck.
I could really use advice for him and his character, and stuff like that. Any help at all would be appreciated.
Hey, RW! I’m sorry I didn’t notice your comment before.
I think the aspect of a noticeably depressed hero could work, but it would be very delicate. I hate to generalize like this, but I fear that readers would not take well to a a character who has a worse life than they do or a “bad attitude.” One way you could probably soften the angstiness is to have his bad moods be limited mainly to his superhero work, and have his regular life not be affected as much.
I’m not sure about the tangent where his parents think he’s slicing himself. It’s sort of a somber and emo red herring. It’s a big assumption for them. It might be less depressing to have his parents assume he’s getting into fights at school. Maybe he’s joined a gang or something… that would explain the strange clothes and the moody behavior.
Hello, Dallas. Here are a few observations and suggestions.
–I’m not a huge fan of revenge as a motivation. It’s very hard to make a revenge story feel fresh. For example, I think that readers of your story might feel like it’s too similar to The Punisher.
–Generally, I think it’s very helpful for stories to hold out the possibility of a happy ending. The ending doesn’t have to be happy, but if we think that there’s some chance that the hero can get there, then we will care more about his struggle. If his girlfriend is raped and commits suicide, I don’t think that any ending could be a happy one. He can’t kill his way back to where he was before.
–Raping and killing his girlfriend for sensational effect may make the story feel overwrought.
Dallas, your hero with a few slight changes reminds me of a heroic version of Heath Ledger’s Joker. That might be interesting. Your thoughts on a heroic psychopath B.Mac? (And yes, the laughing is a given.)
I’m a not a big fan of powerless heroes, but they are workable and they can be very interesting. They have to improvise at all times, so that would make for alot of interesting scenes.
My recommendation would be not to kill off the girlfriend, but have her severely changed. Experiences like rape can drastically alter personality. Maybe making her more closed off and she doesn’t want to be intimate (not just sexually) with the main character. If you wanted to go to EXTREMES, you could have her go into severe repression so much so she gives herself amnesia, and forgets the MC.
It would seem this character has some strong connections and is very intelligent (burning drugs, putting gangs against each other). I think giving him a degree of gadgets would be more plausible, but you don’t have to go all out (retractable zip-lines, cloaking devices). If he doesn’t want to kill maybe a small tranquillizer gun or firing taser. Or you could move into gun territory, but know your facts about guns before you use them.
I recommend this article.
http://www.superheronation.com/2008/12/07/common-gun-related-errors-for-authors/
Once I’m an accomplished comic writer (pretentious, much), I want to write a disaster series in which groups of normal people will ban together (or stand apart) to escape natural (or manmade) disasters. So I’d also need well developed powerless “heroes”.
I think I’d have the most fun writing a flood escape in the winter. no power, freezing cold, water level rising, city falling apart, can you escape? haha.
Okay, thanks! That was just one of many ideas I’ve had. I’m not even halfway through writing the first book, and already I have ideas for a second, third and fourth! Jeez, I have one hell of an overactive imagination. I write all my ideas down, but only about one in sixteen will make the cut. The slightest thing sets me off. Here’s a list of my most major ones.
1.
The situation: a serious crime is pinned on Isaac so he has to clear his name without using his powers. Alternatively, it could be pinned on his superhero identity, so he has to prove his innocence without revealing his civilian ID. The explanation for the first would be that an archenemy discovers his civilian identity and frames him, and for the second that the government wanted to use him in a warzone. When he objects, they set him up because they fear that he might be working for the other side.
The risk: Jail time and/or his identity becoming common knowledge.
2.
The situation: His enemies pinpoint the school he attends, but falsely believe he teaches there. As a result, they take the teachers hostage during the school day, and all of the students are moved out to the evacuation point on the oval.
The risk: His absence will be noticed if he goes to help.
3.
The situation: He is exposed to a kind of nerve gas while infiltrating his archenemy’s base. This causes his powers to go haywire, with Isaac losing any and all control. This means that windows randomly smash because of rogue psi-pulses, he has trouble keeping his feet on the ground and he keeps getting jerks in his muscles that cause him to snap pencils or punch through walls.
The risk: His classmates will notice all the accidents surrounding him, and it’ll be difficult to explain why he suddenly starts levitating.
I also thought of this follow-up:
A man contacts Isaac through FIGHT to inform him that he has a solution to his loss of control. It involves some tinkering with his DNA, enabling him to regain control of his powers but making them less powerful. As an additional side effect, his DNA fluctuates (first at random, then at will) and causes him to switch between his normal appearance and a second one. After Isaac gains full control of the fluctuations, he can change his appearance between the two whenever he wants. His powers are stronger in his second body. Overall, he can hide better among the human population and there is no longer a need to pull on his hoodie. Isaac can just transform and go. He later has the process done on his clothes so that they change with him.
4.
The situation: His friends discover who he really is and begin to ignore him because they feel that he doesn’t trust them.
The risk: Loss of friendship and reduced self-esteem.
5.
The situation: An enemy of his begins to attend his school undercover. This is to study the students’ behaviour and determine the likelihood that one of them could be the Guardian. Isaac grows suspicious, and reports back to FIGHT on the situation. Klemente goes undercover to help him rid the school of the threat as silently as possible.
The risk: He could be discovered before he can do anything about it, and Klemente would only be further evidence against him.
6.
The situation: Tristram comes to visit him from the USA, and the two spend their spare time doing what’s called “You-Can’t-Beat-How-Ultimate-This-Is Freerunning”. (I’m not sure if there are freerunners in the USA, but we have quite a few around here. It’s just running really fast, climbing over walls and running across rooftops, coupled with back flips and dodge rolls, leaping over park benches and swinging off flagpoles). Isaac and Tristram’s version can’t be beaten in its extremity because they jump off buildings and hit the ground before jumping back up and jumping from roof to roof. But a problem arises when Tristram passes out, due to being inexperienced with his powers when compared to Isaac. A group of Guardian-spotters (Like bird watching but with the Guardian instead) see him land in King’s Park and go to investigate.
The risk: Both of them are pretty much screwed, because Isaac can’t carry him out of there without someone seeing.
7.
The situation: Isaac’s parents catch him sneaking back into the house after a rescue, but think he’s up to no good when it’s actually the complete opposite. He gets grounded and isn’t allowed to go to his year eleven dance. Even worse, he learns that his archenemies have sent one of their agents to the school under the name Pandora. She just so happens to be his best friend Will’s date.
The risk: He has a choice: stay in his room and hope she doesn’t get up to anything, or go and risk getting in deeper trouble along with his parents becoming more suspicious of him.
8.
The situation: Isaac tries to prove a point by actually trying in PE class. He find his (civilian) popularity within his school rising when he gets onto the soccer team. He becomes more and more reckless with his powers during matches. Isaac soon finds himself in trouble when Darrick, the school bully, catches on. He uses his knowledge to make Isaac ditch his friends and skip classes.
The risk: This gets him in trouble with pretty much everyone.
9.
The situation: His sister finds his ruined hoodies beneath his bed and realizes what he’s really up to. She becomes afraid for him and so begins to follow him everywhere when possible, trying to look out for him. This only gets her in deeper trouble than Isaac has ever been in, when his enemies decide to use her in their plan as emotional leverage. The deal is that he give them the real names and addresses of the other FIGHTers, or they stick her in a sack and throw her in the ocean.
The risk: He has to be a tattletale or let his sister die.
What do you think?
Oh, I forgot to mention: these are all ideas for the fourth. Each will take the story in a different direction. For example, #3 will give him a new power. #9 means at least one person will discover his secret. #8 will see Isaac getting in trouble at school. I can’t use all of these, so I was wondering what your favourites are. Just the number and a two or three sentence explanation will do. Thanks!
We have a bunch of free-runners in America, Mirror’s Edge is a video game almost completely about freerunning. Free-running is so kick-butt. I can only do like two tricks though.
I like:
#3) It’s alot like my story with transformations for increased power. This could be a big oppurtunity for readers to learn about his Yinyusian heritage. It could also give insight into the logistics of his powers. The power fluctuations have dramatic potential, too (Adrian has similar water related issues, profuse sweat, random wet cloths, mysterious puddles, oddly scaly skin)
#1) has alot of potential. Uh oh Isaac, no powers, time to think like a human. He’ll have to somhow get out of trouble without revealing himself.
#8) I like the idea of letting fame go to his head. It’s very human of Isaac to become indulgent, it takes away from any homo-superiority he may develop. As long as he sort of come out it later, it will work.
Here’s my reminder for TRW, I replied to your last comment.
Thanks! I think I could combine a couple of them. Maybe I could mix #8 with #7 or #1.
The thing about me is that I love to write so much that I spend much of my time doing it. I carry a notebook around to jot down ideas, and fit scenes to music. I personally think that “Over and Over” by Three Days Grace is the perfect song for Isaac and Kamari’s relationship. “Me Against the World” by Simple Plan describes Tristram to a degree, along with “I Don’t Care” by Fall Out Boy. Yeah, I obsess over writing and anything remotely to do with it. When did you write your first short story?
Not too long ago, but if you ask me when I drew my first comic that’s an entirely different storyboard (get it? it’s a comic joke). My big thing is drawing, I always carry my sketchbook around and draw every chance I get. I really want to be a comic book artist but without some proper training drawing is VERY hard to learn. I’m good, not to be conceited, but I think I’m better than most people, but a comic book company wouldn’t appreciate my style, yet. It’s not anime, but it’s reminiscent of it when it comes to faces, other than that it’s very much my own style.
And to be an artist you have to get things right the first try, learn to color and ink, and learn to draw scenery. I know I can do all of that but it will take time.
Since I won’t be drawing for a comic anytime soon, I went for the next bet thing writing. I’ll be candorous, writing is fun but it isn’t my passion. I don’t get that artistic rush like I do when I draw. But it’s ok I’ll just have to put my dream on hold and settle for the next best thing.
Here are some of my drawing in my myspace gallery, some of this is old but these are some of my best examples of my own style.
I’ve only just recently started coloring pictures as well as adding backgrounds.
I mean “I don’t get that artistic ‘rush.”
I apologize if you’re offended by my scantily clad females, I generally put more clothing on them now as well as make the size of their breast less noticeable, my friends always got distracted by them, and never see the full picture.
I drew an awesome scene with my character Guy Emo and his love interest Heather, it was one of the first ones where I drew a full background.
Hi, Whovian! Here are a few thoughts and observations.
#1: I like this setup, but I think it would probably be easiest for you to have a crime pinned on Isaac’s superhero identity rather than Isaac himself. I really like the element that he would be stuck in his civilian identity (largely unable to use his superpowers) as he tried to clear his name. The warzone element is a bit cliche, but OK.
#2: I like the twist that they think he’s a teacher, but that doesn’t strike me as entirely plausible. (I mean, he’s really young to get confused for a teacher, isn’t he?) Unless his voice gets deeper or he gets physically larger when he turns into his superhero identity…
#3: I think the baseline situation (he loses control over his powers and has to conceal that from his classmates) is pretty interesting. I’m not quite as sold on the fact that it’s solved by someone else (FIGHT) and the two-body element.
#4: I don’t feel that this one was very satisfying.
#5: This is pretty kickass, I think. I’d love to read some of the scenes where the FIGHT guy and Isaac are in the same class together and the FIGHT guy is trying to make it seem like he’s just another student. (The more the FIGHT guy stands out, the better I think this arc will be. If he doesn’t have any trouble fitting in at this school, it would probably not be so interesting).
#6: I don’t really get this. It seems more like a joy ride than accomplishing any dramatic goal.
#7: I think it might be contrived that Pandora dates Will out of all the students at the school, unless she has a good reason to pick him. (For example, she may suspect that he’s the Guardian. In fact, he may have falsely admitted to being the Guardian to impress her). Aside from the contrivance issue (which is very fixable), I think this has a lot of potential.
#8: I didn’t like this as much.
#9: This is kind of bland. I don’t see it leading to scenes as interesting as, say, #5 or #7. I suspect that there will be a dose of angst here.
I put excessive detail into my drawings. I’ve learned it doesn’t really work with comics. It makes them look cluttered. It’s great if you know what you know what you’re looking at, but if not then you’re like what the hell.
When it comes to buying art, I generally have a very minimalist style, but it’s as much of an economic issue as a stylistic one for me. I agree that cluttering the page can make it very difficult to tell what’s going on.
I really like the picture of Leena and Aurora. I’m not crazy about their heads, but Aurora’s legs and boots are very interesting. Their midriffs are very exposed and they are really thin in the area between their waists and breasts, but overall I don’t feel like they’re scandalously slutty. (Leena does look anorexic, though). I’d recommend a slightly more conventional haircut.
I’ve been doing a bit of thinking and decided to incorporate something like #1 into the first book.
Isaac gets a detention because he’s late to class, and he has to reorganize the school library as punishment. He’s putting some books onto a bookshelf when something slams him against it, knocking it over. He turns to see a guy in a black hoodie preparing to hit him again, and basically gets beaten up pretty bad. He knows it’s not the Guardian, but the CCTV makes it seem otherwise. Isaac doesn’t fight back because his cover would be blown, so defends himself without using his powers. Now he has to find out who the hell the guy is and why he wanted to frame him.
It turns out that the other guy was paid to get rid of the Guardian because he accidentally damaged a guy’s Porsche. He was pulling a kid out of the path of its inebriated, speeding driver. The owner is a real big fish (and obviously very materialistic) around the city who just so happens to have adopted a guy in similar circumstances to Isaac. I can then have this Yinyusi guy reappear as his archenemy in the third book. Isaac’s identity remains unknown to everyone, the speeding guy is put in jail and the Yinyusi guy disappears.
He’s tall for his age (5″10′) and uses a deeper voice to talk to people he rescues or people he’s fighting. It’s a precaution, because he could save someone he knows and they’d recognize his voice if he made no effort to change it.
I think I’ll most likely use #3, but cut out the second body part. How could he solve it himself? That’s the big question I have yet to answer. He isn’t tech-savvy like Tristram, and isn’t in tune with nature like Olivia. Perhaps a certain vitamin counteracts it. I think I’d find it pretty weird if my friend suddenly began to eat a lot of oranges and drink heaps of Ribena.
I used #4 in my assignment. It turned out quite well, but it’s not really worthy of a novel.
Hmm, let me just write up a scene for #5.
“Jack,” said Miss Cherie, trying to get Klemente’s attention. He just looked down at his hand, which he was messing around with. He was changing it so that his skin had a red tinge to it.
“Jack!”
I nudged him with my elbow, and he regressed his skin back to its normal colour.
“Oh! Sorry. I tuned out there.”
“Why is a semicolon used?” She pointed at a sentence on the board.
“Umm… because it has half the calories of a full colon?” Klemente was ever the joker, but when he had to blend in he seemed to forget the word “discreet”.
I pulled him aside when we got into the hall. “You know you can’t use your powers in public!” I hissed, trying not to be heard by the hordes of chattering students passing by.
“She was boring me.”
“What part of ‘blend in’ don’t you get?”
“You just told me not to use my powers!”
I ran a hand down my face. “I don’t mean turning invisible! I mean be normal!”
“No offence, but you’re not a very good role model for normality.”
I felt like shaking him and telling him to be serious for once in his life, but the bell for our next class rang.
“Three rules: no use of your powers, even when you think you’re alone. Be serious for once in your life and don’t draw attention to yourself.”
Five minutes later he had broken them all a dozen times each.
Yeah, I thought #6 was a bit unnecessary, too. I did a similar sort of thing in a test scene for the second book, where FIGHT have a race from the Empire State Building to the Chrysler Building. I know New York is a cliche setting, but it’s the easiest place in the USA to get information on, and there are plenty of opportunities for major disaster scenes such as fires and accidents at building sites. I did some research and found out a few interesting things. A woman once jumped off the Empire State Building, but a wind caught her and flung her onto the next floor, where she got away with only a few injuries. What are the chances?
Haha, I think Will probably would say he was the Guardian. I’ve made it so he doesn’t often get much luck with the ladies, so I can see him trying that one.
I like #8 because it makes it seem more like he’s a typical teenager. I don’t think I’ll use it though. My two favourites are #5 and #3.
Speaking of extraordinarily miraculous suicide attempts, there was a case in which a severely depressed man shot himself in the head. He survived the bullet and managed to cure his depression (albeit with a major personality shift). Don’t try this at home, kids.
That’s similar to what will happen to Vir. He had to chase a guy who swiped his knapsack with his mask and shit in it. Vir follows the thief for twelve blocks and eventually the thief gets tired. Vir tackles him and takes his bag back.
“All that for a knapsack? What’s in it?”
I’ve gotten considerably better now. I generally TRY to add nose and thicker arms. Lately, I’ve been experimenting with positioning and scenery. I loved packing pictures with as much stuff as possible, but now I’m more considerate when it comes to putting too much. When I drew older pictures, I just do it and not think about whether or not I can draw it again.
I think my hardest thing to draw is legs. I like to make the calves bigger than the thighs like Teen Titans: The Animated Series (one of my drawing idols), but that is kind of difficult to accomplish without making the waist look funky.
I also toned down the craziness of my outfits, which was hard for me. But my clothes now still have my artistic flair.
Damn, those waists are thin. I notice that those legs are extremely long, too. From this perspective, it looks like Robin’s legs are at least twice as long as his torso. An adult’s legs will typically be about as long as his torso. I’m looking at some pictures of Olympic gymnasts, and even among these superbly long-legged individuals, it looks like this.
That’s understandable. I really like long legs though. The waists are thin, I’m one of the skinniest people I know, and my waist is bigger than that.
I think the look works for Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire. Robin looks weird, and BB’s stance makes it hard to judge. I don’t think that a comic book or cartoon has to be exactly anatomically correct but a general closeness is necessary.
For example, my heads are pretty disproportionate to the body, in that they are the same size as the torso. I’m trying to fix this problem though. Also, my necks are skinny.
I’ll post a picture of Mz.Corpse and Akwary, I think I moded my style nicely in those, I’m going to work more in this style now..
I think it’s generally less of a problem for Raven because she wears a cloak. Also, like Starfire, Raven flies headfirst, so in a typical action-pose it isn’t necessary to illustrate anything from the waist down.
Also, as a business consideration, I think it’s easiest to get a publisher to buy anatomy that’s roughly accurate. Paraphrasing Tolstoy, all accurate art is alike but stylized art is stylized in its own way. It’s hard to gauge beforehand whether the company will go for your particular style. I’m only one person and not even in the industry, but I’m badly distracted by how strange the Titans’ legs look, particularly the calves.
I just drew a totally awesome picture of Adrian and his seductress, Michal (pronounced Michael).
I’d post it but my scanner is acting crazy. Adrian’s head is huge, but otherwise the picture is anatomically correct.
I’d recommend giving her a slightly more feminine name, maybe Michelle.
I like ambiguous names.
I’ll name her Michelle that way I can call her Mitchy, which is slightly ambiguous.
ReTARDISed Whovian, I have a question.
Does Isaac have any super enemies, or villians in general? If so, are they Yinyusian? Won’t that mean they have the same powers.
I like ambiguous names, too. Some of my favourites are Jordan, Morgan and Davie. I also like foreign names like Niamh (Pronounced “Neev”) or Suzume and names with odd spelling like Wintre or Rikkie.
Isaac has one enemy in the first one, who is also Yinyusian. But I can give them differences by having the other guy well-practiced and more experienced in battle than Isaac is, and give him some technological help. Like two humans, they can have radical differences. For example, in a human fight one combatant may be a black belt and the other one very skilled with a whip. Even though they are of the same species they can have very different skills.
In the second one he is up against a modified human and in the third he is up against a group of villains, but has help from a group of heroes.
Hmm… I think that one advantage of a name that isn’t ambiguous is that I think it will reduce the potential for confusion about his sexuality. I don’t think that you’re trying to suggest he’s gay, but I picked up a few mixed messages.
–Adrian is explicitly called gay at one point (I think it was because of his scarf). Unintendedly, I think, that introduces the question “is this character gay?” to the audience.
–I’m trying to be delicate here, but, uhh… he does not seem very masculine in his dealings with the Catwoman. She puts the moves on him and, umm, kind of rapes him (?). Giving her a masculine name will sort of reinforce that Adrian is, umm, taking on a role in the relationship that has traditionally been associated with women. It may help to give them both a fairly equal role in the relationship. I think that will make their relationship feel more, umm, fair to both sides. He doesn’t have to be a Don Juan or a Rambo or anything, but I think any main character (regardless of gender) should be kind of assertive.
–Umm… the element of, uhh, leaking fluids could reflect poorly on his masculinity.
–He does a few things that are not problematic by themselves, but may contribute to a preexisting inkling that he’s gay. For example, he wears clothes that are a bit effeminate and is generally artsy. Just to repeat, I don’t think that anyone would take those two details by themselves and conclude that he’s gay. But, when a character explicitly calls him gay, then readers will draw on details like these to determine whether he is or not.
On the plus side, I think it kind of clarified things that part of his Hollywood fantasy was essentially being a sex-symbol to the ladies.
HAHAHAHAHA, I never though about that, that’s hilarious.
I’ll definitely try to make him more masculine. As a side note, I wanted his love interest to be a purebred alien girl, that’s why he isn’t interested in Michelle.
When I said leaking fluids, I meant more along the line of sweating profusely, not menstrating haha.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a little effeminite, but I’ll try to make him more manly, I guess.
That’s funny in a very ironic way. Both the creator and the character are being called gay.
my comment is awaiting moderation.
The part with the scarf was cut along with my first draft of my introduction. I’ll make the gang attack him for a better reason.
Please do not mistake my meaning. It was just an observation about the words put in front of me and not about you or your work generally. It’s hardly the first time that I’ve come across a piece where the audience picked up unintended cues about a character’s sexuality. In fact, B. Mac mentioned the phenomenon in his article on male characters. And I’m told by women that my female characters come off as lesbians so regularly that I’ve almost completely given up on female characters.
As for the bodily leakage, I was thinking more about incontinence, but OK. Menstruation would also raise manliness issues.
This’ll be kind of long, so I apologize ahead of time.
Background
1) Abby is pretty quiet and withdrawn, but curious about things at the same time and enjoys the outdoors.
2) She is homeschooled.
3) Ah … well, she’s homeschooled which some can relate to, she’s ‘different’ and a lot of people feel they don’t fit in, she’s somewhat of a loner and very quiet, and her circumstances will change drastically once I figure out what is actually going to happen.
4) She’s 14.
5) She never really had any goals except to see what is ‘out there’ because her parents never pushed anything at her, knowing how the world would react and all the media attention she would get, as she cannot hide her abilities/how she looks.
6) She can’t let anyone outside of home see her because they would freak out; there is no way that they’d think it was a costume, too realistic and who would waste their time buying/creating a super realistic alien-looking costume?
7) She’s mostly happy, she loves climbing trees and just using her gifts, but she’s looking for something more because she doesn’t really know what the rest of the world is like, despite watching the news and movies. She’s never been more than a mile away from home, and really the only place outside she can be is in the backyard or the woods surrounding the back yard, and even then she can’t go very far back.
Origin
1) She was born with an inactive/howeveryousayit gene that somehow ‘activated’/'woke up’ and by the time she was four her abilities were fully developed; though to really know how to use them to her full advantage she has to practice.
2) She didn’t choose to be a mutant. I’m still not sure if it should be because years ago one of her parents married an alien or something and an inactive gene was carried through the family and finally ‘woke up’ or just a weird, random gene. I’m not sure how she’ll become a superhero(ine).
Secret Identity
1) No, not really, her green skin and eyes wouldn’t make it possible for her. She has a regular name but whenever I figure out how she does she’ll start referring to herself/thinking of herself as some superhero-like name. Or maybe she already calls herself something cool and her parents don’t even know. (NOTE: Tried out the name generator thing and all I got was really dumb names).
2) Not applicable, really.
3) Well, she’s got green skin and doesn’t really have any friends. (Should I change that? She’s a little too secluded but I don’t know how else to start out a story/develop a story with a girl who has green skin).
4) Just her parents know, and later on the government, I believe.
5) yes, the government shall care about her/her abilities/her ‘uniqueness’.
6) Nothing.
7) Maybe the government?
Superpowers
1) They aren’t superpowers persay, but she is flexible/agile, fast, strong, easily keeps her balance, and can jump pretty high. Which also makes her a good climber. I was thinking maybe areas of her skin are hard, like on her knuckles/parts of her hands (kind of like an alligator/crocodile) so when she punches somebody or kicks them or something, it really, really hurts.
2) Yes, I guess–since she’s stuck at home she uses her ’superpowers’ all the time.
3) No special mode of transport, unless it’s jumping a ways. NOT like the second-newest Hulk movie though, where he could make some CRAZY jumps …
4) She could use her flexibility or whatever to squeeze between bars/through small spaces, and her fast reflexes to avoid punches and hurt people in all sorts of positions.
Jumping and would help her get away, I guess. Or gain a good vantage point if she needed one.
I was just wondering, I have begun the basics for a superhero novel. Could I have opinions. Be as brutal as you like,
A guy called Sam Gain, (18 years old) lives in a small town by lake Michigan, Illinois. (I can’t do any better than that yet) He lives alone with his mother, as his father was killed in a car accident when he was very young. He was born with a genetic disease where his DNA is unstable and could cause him to undergo cellular collapse (or whatever) because of this disease. Every month he goes to a clinic somewhere in the pacific called P.I.U.I (Pacific Institute of Unstudied Illnesses,) for check ups and studies on his disease.
What the doctors dont know is that at a young age, Sam discovered that he is able to manipulate this energy that is being built up inside of him via unstable DNA. He is able to move objects with this energy even if they are not touching him, he has a small degree of advanced strength and a small degree of advanced speed on the ground but, when using his power to enable him to fly, he is incredibly fast. He also has other bonuses when using this energy like being able to pinpoint any place in the world that he has travelled to.
After an incident where he discovers that his father was actually murdered by P.I.U.I because of a top secret research project being conducted on Sam linked to Interstellar space flight, he loses control of his power due to his emotions and kills several people working for P.I.U.I. After going into hiding, the plot unfolds as he discovers that he can make his powers stronger by controlling his emotions.
The head official of P.I.U.I. is the main villain, though not posessing any powers himself, he has a son with the same disease as Sam (possible because, for ‘yet un-thought out’ reasons, they could be brothers or half brothers or something)
the head official wishes to kill Sam Gain so that his son could be the first inter-stellar travellar (that is the best I can do to cause conflict between the hero and the villain.)
Various fights including the head officials son, some cops or something and Sam ensue throughout the story as sam attempts to live a fairly normal life while the head official continues to try to destroy it.
I need help with this to make the stroyline fit together better and maybe for him to have a better background that can link up with the Head Official. A possible ending could be suggested by anyone who has a novellists brain. Could anyone suggest a plausible weakness for him too. Any other tips would be great…
Weaknesses? Emotional instability, he could get tired by using up all his energy, maybe he blacks out after using a lot . . . maybe he has to always send out a certain amount of energy behind him, because letting all that go at once would push him back or damage his internal organs or something.
I think the plot starts out pretty solid, but then it starts to unravel a bit. The reason for the conflict between your villain and Sam is pretty unsatisfactory. If Sam killed (accidentally) several workers at the place after learning they killed his Dad, then the reason could be getting revenge for those workers AND silencing him, because he found out about the project they’re working on. That seems a lot for believable than just ‘oh, he wants his son to be better’.
I don’t think the guy’s son needs to be related to Sam. That may just complicated things. You could easily say the guy set up this institute for other people with his son’s condition (although they might treat other illnesses as well). I don’t think that would feel contrived. Also, I think that is a pretty good tie to the Head Official of this organisation. How Sam’s father came to investigate and find out about this plot in the institue is a little trickier. Maybe he was concerned about what they were doing to his son and decided to investigate? Sam said something that made him suspicious? He wanted something better for Sam and contacted the world authority on his condition, who was surprised by the treatment he’d been recieving?
Also, small tip: P.I.U.I needs a period after the last letter (the rule for abbrieviations is each letter has a period, or none do – so you could write it PIUI if your prefer).
Hope this helped.
That helped alot! Thanks!
I like the idea of weaknesses. I have another question though,
When Sam gets into fights with PIUI guards or something, I am struggling with creative ideas to use his energy to fight. The – punch – kick- throw and object – punch again thing is pretty cliche and can be very repettitous.
Also, is the reason for the experimeriments on Sam and the head officials son any good- (In order to gain interstellar space travel through human flight and the ability to not have to breath when using energy.)
It kind of sounds a bit ’star trek’ or something with all of the interstellar stuff but it is the only reason I can think of for someone to want to experiment on this disease other than creating Genetically modified super soldiers which has been used alot.
Thanks for your help..
Hmm. Maybe his energy sends a machine haywire and it electrocutes someone? I think that with using his energy to move objects, you could probably make the fight seem more creative than it actually is. I suspect other posters here would be able to help more with this.
Yeah, super-soldiers have been used a lot. What do you think of using the energy for other purposes? Maybe if you wired a few of the people with this condition up and found a way to extract this energy, you could use it for electrical power? Um, obviously having people wired up would be pretty unethical, which would definitely explain why it’s being kept a secret.
I’m not sure. Maybe they’re actually studying the condition and trying to recreate it in other people for this purpose, but obviously the H.O. wouldn’t want them to do any testing on his son.
Ooh, fight scenes, juicy. Well I have a few suggeston for creative uses of his powers, some wackier than others:
- Uses his energy to construct a bat and knocks energy baseballs at the guard.
-Uses energy to preforate a hole in the floor, upon which the guard will step on and fall though. Conversely, he could do this for himself to get away.
-Expends all his energy to create a large energy aura, then beckons to the guard “I am far to powerful for a mere mortal to stop”(although he’s actually lying, or not) scaring the guard away. But doing this would lead to a lack of energy.
-I’m guessing they’re fighting in a corridor or a small room. He could make a ball of energy to pinball around the corridor to either block or knock out the gaurd.
-Again, I’m guessing he’s in a relatively small space. He could put his hands on the wall and overload the room with energy causing a blackout or the room to fall apart. Giving him a chance for escape.
-He could just blast the guard with energy. For an interesting tweak the blast could come out of his mouth, chest, or forehead (I like the mouth), instead of something obvious like hands or eyes. Although, this isn’t al that creative.
Many of these are based on what he can do with his energy (charging things, making constructs), so it’s at your discretion.
What are the limitations of his energy abilities? Can be make constructs? or charge things?
Super-soldiers are used quite frequently, but I think your reason for them (interstellar travel) is fresh. I don’t think readers will call you out on it.
Thanks alot!
I like the pinball Idea and the step into the hole thing. He is pretty much able to control any kind of energy, whether it be radiant enrgy (light energy,) kinetic enrgy or thermal energy. I didn’t want to make him too powerful or else the fight scenes would be boring, I want to give him a challenge.(???)
In the story, if he gets really emotional, (Like very angry or upset- such as when he discovers the death of his father) his energy kind of overloads and he loses control- exploding a great ball of solid energy. This happens a few times in the story I have so far.
Maybe, if the energy is very sensitive, he has to struggle to control it sometimes. Is this a good idea?
If you’re playing with the baseball thing maybe his energy constructs could become more shapeless and less defined when he loses control. I think its a good idea to tie his powers in with his emotions. You mentioned that he loses control several times in the story. Maybe the villain could exploit this by taunting him or mocking him such that he has an emotional outburst and loses control.
I’m not feeling the reason for the conflict between the hero and the villain. I just had this sudden idea that you could have a plot twist and reveal the villain as the hero’s father, who isn’t actually dead. It would also explain the similar disease of the other son. But it sounds very Star Wars-y and it might not work.
All thes ideas sound great. You have all helped loads. If I have any questions I know where to ask.
Cheers,
Does anyone here believe the orphaned at a young age or the murdered parents is over used in any story? I have to know ’cause my character accidently kills his mom and dad with his powers because they were trying to murder him. I’m trying not to fall into a Harry Potter thing.
“Does anyone here believe the orphaned at a young age or the murdered parents is over used in any story?”
Orphan due to murdered parents is so overused it’s ridiculous, off the top of my head Harry Potter, Eragon (sorta), Luke Skywalker (until the twist).
“I have to know ’cause my character accidently kills his mom and dad with his powers because they were trying to murder him. I’m trying not to fall into a Harry Potter thing.”
One word: Wangst.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wangst
Wangst is not a good thing, a person with that origin story will immediately fall into wangst territory.
Also, that’s the kind of origin story that starts the warning sirens for ‘Mary-Sue’. It doesn’t necessarily make the person a Sue, but it’s one of the traits Sues commonly have.
“Has his work as a superhero noticeably changed his body? (For example, Peter Parker gets a lot tougher and picks up unusual bruises and scars). How would your hero conceal these changes from his friends? If a friend noticed anyway, how might he try to explain them away?”
Hehe, reminds me of a joke: You know you’re in the SCA [Society for Creative Anachronism] when…… You show up for work on Monday morning with the most INTERESTING bruises…. [from being in a tourney on the weekend]
A superhero could maybe cover up injuries by claiming they’re sports injuries.
I had a dream one time that Spiderman broke his arm fighting a villain, on camera, and the next day Peter Parker was trying to explain why his arm was in a sling….
If you’ve ever read the cult classic Rainbow Batman, Batman puts on a pink costume so that no one notices Robin’s sling. Everyone in town knew that Dick Grayson had just broken his arm, so it would have been suspicious.
Oh, this is SO helpful. Thanks so much!
My main character, Dante Valin, is sort of a hero, but not really. When he was sixteen or so (still configuring the age), his psi-powers, inherited from his father, of telekinesis, pyrokinesis, and telepathy caught the eye of a powerful war-monger and ruler, known only as the Administrator. A large team of soldiers, named Fatum, is sent out to capture him and bring him back to the Administrator, so Dante has to find his father, who has gone into exile, and try to get control of his powers so he can try to get his normal life back. His method of approach is to find the Administrator and either try to negotiate with him, or kill him as a last approach.
He’s very aware of the pain and destruction that the Administrator has caused, but he’s very self-absorbed, so that’s not really what drives him to fight. And he’s highly gullible, so much in fact that his father comments, “Dante, don’t take this the wrong way, but you couldn’t get both your feet to walk straight unless someone told you that walking crooked’s illegal.” One of the main drives for his character development is that his father, Lucas Imahara, is regarded as one of the most powerful and intelligent men in history, and was the one that brought genetic mutation in sentient organisms to the mainstream eye. So Dante has felt that people want him to be just like his father, and this causes him to go out of his way to do things that either Lucas wouldn’t, or the way he wouldn’t, even to the point that he neglects his own well-being and personal development in favor of his individuality. And later on, when he’s subjected to “shifting”, or amputation and bionic implantation, he suffers from severe trauma from being forced to watch his arms, legs, and parts of his torso and head be cut off and replaced by Fatum circutry, which just reinforces his already-raging hatred of the Administrator.
Any thoughts?
I’m writing a novel called Badazzes. In my novel, the name of the group is The Badasses. Before they gained their powers, they were slacker roommates. Does that sound okay? I need some feedback, please.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: this comment originally read: "i'm writing a novel called Badazzes. n in my novel da name of da group is called The Badazzes. n b4 dey gained powers dey were slackers living as roomates. DOES THAT SOUND OK? I NEED SUM FEEDBACK PLZZZ"]
Kid Omni, I think that sounds a bit forgettable so far. Oblivion Society had a faintly similar premise but I think it stood out a lot more effectively because the characters were well-developed and mostly endearing. I don’t really know anything about your characters other than that they were slackers and I think that you could probably develop them a lot more than that. (These characters aren’t all identical, so they must have some distinguishing traits, right?)
In addition, I have a few suggestions about writing mechanics, like grammar, punctuation and spelling. If you’re interested in going pro and getting published some day, they’re really important. Every month, a publisher’s assistant might go through around 1000-1500 manuscripts and send around 4-8 on to his boss for further consideration. Since the PA will end up rejecting around 99.9% of the manuscripts, he’ll kill a manuscript as soon as he has any suspicion that it’s not one of the best. The fastest and easiest way for a PA to sift through his huge stack of manuscripts is to instantly reject the ones with bad grammar/spelling/punctuation. Generally speaking, I would estimate that a manuscript is in grave danger if it has more than one typo per page. So I would really recommend brushing up on that, because otherwise your writing will suggest that you don’t have what the publishers are looking for.
Besides that, I’m not quite sure why your group is called the Badazzes rather than Badasses. The misspelling there strikes me as kind of goofy. Is that intentional? Also, in the future, I would really recommend against using caps-lock for anything.
Before Jason knew about his gift, he was a famous artist who wanted to do more for his community. Jason wanted to stop issues like poverty & violence. Jason is responsible, loyal, smart & passionate. When Jason learns about his gift, he goes out of his way to help people & give them hope. So he does the superhero thing, but later down the road he finds out that being a hero isn’t all easy.
jaronblaze:
Do you have any prominent flaws about your character?
His flaws are that he tries to do to much
That isn’t a flaw.
Yeah, I mostly agree that trying to do too much is probably not a flaw. Usually I would say that a trait is only a flaw if the audience will hold it against the character and/or if it leads the character to make decisions the audience will not agree with. I’m not sure how either one of those would apply to trying to do too much. (Perhaps the character is taking on too much for some less-than-noble or foolish reason?)
On the other hand, if he’s just a regular guy that’s overexerting himself doing purely honorable things, he’s probably a Mary Sue without any real flaws. I’d recommend against that because readers tend to find characters more interesting if they have a bit of moral complexity to them.
ummmmmmmmmmm english plzzz
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a flaw. ok well shade my character has a flaw. shade can manipulate colors and ink & he can also bring drawings to life. Shade’s flaws are two phobias: Pyrophobia(fear of fire) & Hemophobia( fear of blood). Commments please & not to harsh lol thank you.
The English used was perfectly grand, Anonymaus, but to paraphrase and abbreviate a bit, a flaw should be a bad thing.
Selfishness, nervousness, shooting up with baby blood, all flaws. Star Trek’s Captain Kirk for instance, although he was very Sue-y at times, was flawed because of his brash nature. He would often take action impulsively and without thinking about the entire situation, driven primarily by the emotion most affecting him at the moment.
If you were confused by the phrase Mary Sue, you could try searching for it on Google, or here’s a link to a related Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_sue) and an article here that might be useful to you but another suggestion would be to make use of an online dictionary if English isn’t your first language or if you need help with your vocabulary. It most likely has pages on any phrases that might confuse you.
Sorry, that response was directed at your first post, not your second. It’s been raining here so my internet is very slow and prepping the post took a bit, plus I’m fiddling with other stuff.
That isn’t a flaw either.
You should google Limyaael’s Rants and read her rant on flawed characters. Because it talks about characters in general and not your characters specifically it will be less harsh. You really need to learn what is meant by a character flaw.
Finally, not using capitals at the beginning of sentences on a board of writers (amateur or otherwise) simply convinces them that you don’t care enough about writing to actually try. Some people genuinely can’t spell. Others honestly have problems with grammar. But lack of capitalization is just lazy. All it will achieve is you alienating the very people who are trying to help you, and will result in them withdrawing any offer of help.
The same as posting anonymously and just expecting us to know who you are.
I’m sorry if this seems harsh but I’m redrafting a fiction novel, writing a fiction novel, writing a non-fiction book, trying to keep up to date with 2 blogs, and build bebo and myspace accounts. I’m about to lose my job, desperately trying to find a new one, and I have three young kids. So I don’t really have time for people who can’t be bothered putting the effort in. Sorry.
She has ~300 rants now. You mean the one on flaw-scrubbing?
Quoting Anonymous: “ummmmmmmmmmm english plzzz”
Okay, rephrasing my original comment. Main characters generally need a flaw to be interesting. A flaw is anything that readers will not approve of or will cause the character to make mistakes. For example, maybe your character tries to take on too much because he’s greedy or wildly overconfident.
Good luck with your writing career– I would really recommend working on the capitalization, spelling and grammar. I don’t think I have the ability to help you get published in the next few years, so I’m going to let you go.
Her newest one.
http://limyaael.insanejournal.com/546732.html#cutid1
That’s about flawed characters, too. But the flaw scrubbing one is good, too.
I think B. Mac just fired Anonymaus, and possibly had that person assassinated via monkeys on a chain gang, armed with machetes and OMACs.
You really should copyright “So I’m going to let you go” like Donald Trump did “you’re fired” Or Michael Vicks did with “I’m an odd reference to make here!” Just a thought.
Donald Trump copyrighted you’re fired? I wonder if that was before or after Sir Alan Sugar made it his signature trademark on the Apprentice.