Jun 04 2008
A List of Character Attributes
This list of words used to define and describe people will help you design characters for novels and other stories.
Mental Characteristics and Mindsets
Generally positive mindsets
- blase
- careful
- carefree
- cautious
- confident
- creative
- curious
- dutiful
- enlightened
- exuberant
- idealistic
- intelligent
- light-hearted
- logical
- methodical
- savvy
- sophisticated
- spiritual
- steady
- serious
- whimsical
Mental flaws
- clueless
- delusional
- discontented
- dissatisfied
- foolhardy
- flitty
- harried
- milquetoast
- paranoid
- pie-in-the-sky (over-idealistic)
- reckless
- self-assured
- sheltered
- smug
- stubborn
- unquestioning (unduly obedient)
- unstable
Moral
Sympathetic traits
- conscientious
- dutiful
- faithful
- honest
- idealistic
- innocent
- just
- law-abiding
- prim
- proper
- rebellious
- upright
Negative characteristics (flaws)
- shaken
- criminal
- uptight
- treasonous
- puritanical
- hypocritical
- self-appointed
- self-centered
Energy
Sympathetic traits
- adventurous
- dedicated
- driven
- energetic
- exuberant
- intrepid
- rugged
Character flaws
- flitty
- bored
- disinterested
- crippled
- languid
- lethargic
- sedate
Social
- charming
- frank
- elegant
- generous
- haughty
- helpful
- humble
- immature
- modest
- pushover
- reserved
- sensitive
Normality
Positive levels of normality
- conventional
- familiar
- one-of-a-kind
- usual
- zany
Character flaws
- alien
- bizarre
- conformist
- eccentric
- maladjusted
- weird
Secondary Positive Characteristics
- good-humored
- gregarious
- eloquent
- calm
- analytical
- athletic
Negative Characteristics
- superstitious
- combative
- needy
- unfriendly
- aggressive
- clueless
- old-fashioned
- strict
- anti-social
- naïve
- insecure
- spiteful
- disorganized
- untactful
- pushy
- ignorant
- dumb
- selfish
- passive
- jealous
- arrogant
- smirky
- weird
- unprincipled
- saucy
- dangerous
- rude
- sickly
- coarse
- bad sense of humor
- hard
- deceitful
- impulsive
- critical
- moody
- pensive
- nervous
- pampered
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For a long time I wanted to create my own superhero, but I had any idea of where to start. The list above really helped me to pick out some things I want in my character and they also reflect who I am. Hopefully it’ll help. Great site, I’m lovin’ it.
Good luck!
This is a list of things about Isaac:
Positive traits:
Protective of his foster sister, (see negative traits also)
Has a set of morals which he adheres to unless it’s absolutely necessary to ignore them (eg, he would never hit a girl unless she had a gun to someone’s head and was going to pull the trigger)
Pretty resilient and a quick thinker (see negative traits)
Is able to sort his own injuries out, even ignoring his fear of needles to give himself stitches.
Wishes to be a “good investment” for his foster parents, because he’s grateful that they took him in. (See negative traits)
Good at investigating things and sneaking around
Negative traits:
Somewhat clumsy, falls over often and gets bruises on forehead from walking into things.
Huge fear of clowns (bad birthday experience), needles, puppets (especially wooden ones with strings, due to a rack of them falling on him at a toy shop when he was six), gnomes (he thinks they have evil eyes), Christmas elves (he saw a horror movie about them when he was seven), almonds (because of allergies).
He can be very judgmental of his foster sister
If someone hurts his foster sister, he’ll lose his mind and go psycho at whoever did it.
Sometimes gets irritated at people who don’t have similar morals.
He freaks out if he thinks someone is about to discover his true identity.
Due to quick thinking, he sometimes overlooks big details.
Gets stressed due to trying to be “Son of the Year” by getting straight A’s, working hard at his job, saving lives and other things.
Sometimes he is overly suspicious.
Sometimes insults his own appearance/personality, by saying “too tall”, “eyes too blue”, “I laugh like a hyena” etc
Your thoughts?
Just a couple things.
This trait: “Good at investigating things and sneaking around”
seems inconsistent with this trait: “Somewhat clumsy, falls over often and gets bruises on forehead from walking into things.”
The only people I’ve seen pull of stealth and clumsy at the same time were the Kids Next Door, and I don’t think that’s what you’re going for.
Also: “Your thoughts?”
That is MY phrase! jk. : )
Yeah I guess so, but it’s mostly when he’s trying to sneak that he’s good at it. When he’s not paying attention, he trips up and hurts himself. He doesn’t pay full attention all the time, so he often gets injured. Like me! I can sneak around if I want, really well actually, but I’m always falling over. I’m like a cross of a ninja and Gerald Ford. Haha.
lol
I love the Gerald Ford reference. He was maligned as a klutz (he once slipped down the stairs off of Air Force One in the rain), but he was also the star of Michigan’s football team. I think that’s a great example of someone who is both a ninja and a klutz. (Well, to the extent that a single fall proves that someone is klutzy… work with me here).
As for your character, I think that some of the stuff you have is really good. I’ve taken the liberty of twisting some of your traits and notes into personality traits that are more general.
For example, I’d take “good at investigating things and sneaking around” and twist it into a personality trait, curious (or inquisitive if you prefer).
I’d take his many phobias and spin them into fearful or delicate. His suspicion and disregard for people of different morals seems to fit into this as well.
I think there’s a discrepancy between his resilience on one hand and his many fears and his tendency to freak out when someone threatens his sister or his secret identity on the other. This character doesn’t strike me as very resilient, but rather as delicate and perhaps even fragile.
He seems insecure. That seems to tie into his self-criticism (his eyes are too blue, he says) and maybe also that he feels the need to be the “Son of the Year.”
You have a lot of traits here, so if I were trying to narrow this list to a few defining characteristics (so that readers can remember them more easily), I’d go with…
1. Curious/inquisitive
2. Just (he’s attached to his sister, wants to thank his parents by acting how he thinks a good son should)
3. Fearful
4. Delicate
He has a few other capabilities (or lacks other capabilities), like his klutziness and his ability to sneak around, but I think that a defining trait is usually tied to the personality rather than capabilities.
You guys make the weirdest reference. But they’re funny so it’s good
Isaac sort of sounds like me, alot of fears, sensitive, and could care less about the emotions of others.
I actually think I’d make a good character in a story. Being a natural character.
Well, I’m a huge fan of politics and football, and Gerald Ford is one of the only individuals to play prominently in both spheres. Courtesy of a surprise appearance on Monday Night Football, Obama is the other.
My main fear is clowns. Graah, freaky jerks. I was surprised that I was able to sit through the Dark Knight without screaming every time the Joker got screen time.
I’m a little off-set by clowns as well. Twisted Metal used Sweettooth, a psychotic serial killer. THat whole game is scary as hell, but it’s really good and well-made. I’d recommend it if you like creepy stuff. Let me list some characters.
Bloody Mary is a love-crazy maniac that kills her best friend on her wedding day because she was jealous.
Dollface is an innocent girl that was locked in a doll mask for seven years because of a simple mistake.
Calypso runs the Twisted Metal contest and offers each inmate one wish if they win. Creepy as hell.
No Face looks like a voodoo doll. He’s a boxer whose face was horribly mutilated by a doctor that lost $20,000 over a match. He’s my favorite.
Preacher is a psycho evangelist who thinks he is possessed and does a bunch of crazy rituals to try and redeem his christianity, like drawing a cross with his blood on a wall and then nailing himself to it. Good story, too bad it’s a hallucination.
Billy Ray Stillwell is a mutated freak who seeks revenge on a pilot for stealing his wife and making him the way he is.
Mr. Grimm is an ex-Vietnam soldier who went insane when he was forced to eat his dead comrade. He is now a cannibal and wears the skull of the friend he ate.
They all pretty much go on to be killers. They all get sent to Blackfield Asylum, where the game begins.
My fear was set off at a festival when a clown almost fell on me after tripping over. All I saw for about half a second was his painted face. Reeurgh. I hate human statues, too.
Hot Fuzz used a human statue hilariously. Actually, pretty much everything about that movie was hilarious, but I liked the human statue especially.
Oh, I LOVE that movie!
“I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.”
“Sounds like a good bloke.”
“Actually, he was caught selling drugs to students.”
“What a ^&%$.”
The gunfight in the middle of the village was good too, with the woman on the bicycle and her handguns. I loved it how Danny opened the door of the car and she rode right into it.
“Your dad is the judge, jury and executioner.”
“No! He’s not Judge Judy executioner!” Haha, everyone knows Judge Judy.
I liked Shaun of the Dead, too, but not as much.
I think it’s Dead Rising where there’s a freaky clowns who falls on his two chainsaws and laughs as he dies. Freaky ar*ehole.
Aida (Owlie):
Positive:
–She looks after Requiem when he gets upset, and treats him like a brother.
–She sits up straight, napkin in lap, doesn’t put her elbows on the table, etc.
–She’s dedicated to the team’s aim.
Negative:
–She shows favouritism to Requiem, so isn’t always fair to the other members of FIGHT.
–She’s smug (“I told you so.” “I knew this would happen!” “I’m right, you’re wrong, deal with it.”)
–She’s always serious and never lets herself have fun. Tristram (the strong and silent inventor) has a similar mindset. They are almost dating.
Tristram (Paladin):
Positive:
–He’s willing to learn about himself.
–He’s protective of the team.
–He can hack into a basic computer in minutes, takes up to an hour to get into a network.
–He has an individual style.
Negative:
–He hates when it people interrupt him when he’s working on a project.
–He picks fights with Isaac.
–He’s hard to read. It’s impossible to tell whether he’s joking or not.
–He tends to punch people that annoy him.
Requiem (Rebirth):
Positive:
–He can tell when someone’s going to die.
–He’s good at reading the emotional atmosphere of an area.
–He can fight reasonably well.
Negative:
–Seeing a ghost sometimes upsets him.
–He complains about training when he wants to look around the city.
–He argues his bedtime and hates eating anything but junk food.
What do you think?
I haven’t forgotten about this, but I’m still thinking about it. I have a few preliminary comments.
I’d spin a few of Aida’s characteristics into personality traits. On the positive side, for example, I’d cast her relationship with Requiem as part of a more general compassionate streak. Sitting up straight with her napkin in her lap seem like symptoms of being prim. On the negative side, I’d cast her soft spot for Requiem as part of a coddling/enabling trend, maybe. Smug and over-serious are strong, I think.
Aida generally sounds pretty solid. There may be issues about whether her personality is too similar to Paladin’s, but her relationship with Req might be sufficient to differentiate them. I think that it may help to make sure she’s not too smug. “I told you so” and “I knew this would happen” feel effective to me: they give her flavor and a personality without unduly compromising her likability. “I’m right, you’re wrong, deal with it” seems a bit too obnoxious, though.
Paladin (an protective, uptight leader) seems slightly cliche. I like the quirk about his jokes being hard to read, but the character sounds maybe too much like Cyclops or Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (particularly if his conflict with Isaac resembles the ongoing Leo-Raphael or Cyclops-Wolverine feuds). As for him being willing to learn about himself, that could be interesting but I’m not completely sure what it means. Could you give an example?
Aida and Tristam have several defining characteristics that I predict will have decent dramatic potential. Requiem has several capabilities but could probably use a more fleshed-out personality. The best I could glean was “immature” and “emotionally sensitive.” Sensitivity has some potential, but I think that focusing on immaturity will probably make the character annoyingly cute, particularly depending on the target age/gender of your audience. (I suspect that young male readers will not respond as well to him, particularly if they think the character is whiny).
I’d recommend giving him another trait or two. For example, he might be overenthusiastic/brave because he hasn’t yet been tempered by experience. (It’s a dangerous world and the enemies could kill them; also, someone that’s already lived hundreds of lives might not take death as a serious threat). You could easily tie that cavalier attitude towards death into his willingness to eat junk food and blow off training; after all, the worst case scenario is death, which is only a minor inconvenience to him.
Alternately, he might think that getting haunted by ghosts and memories of past lives is really obnoxious. If that were the case, he might be relatively bitter about his superpowers, which is pretty fresh for a child-character.
Finally, readers may also stumble over the idea that someone who complains (whines?) about his bed-time is a reasonably competent fighter.
What do you think?
Okay, thanks! With Tristram and Aida, they’re the kind of people you’d see stood against the wall at a school dance, rolling their eyes because they think that dancing is stupid.
I’ve never seen TMNT and I haven’t seen an X-Men movie in ages, so I wasn’t able to pick up on any similarities between Tristram and Leonardo or Cyclops. If you’ve ever seen the show Torchwood, I guess Tristram could be compared to Toshiko. She’s the team’s hacker, and Tristram has that job along with making helpful and sometimes useless little gadgets. I wrote this scene to show Tristram’s skills and illustrate Isaac’s fear of gnomes.
“This may look like an ordinary garden gnome, but he has a tiny security camera embedded in his right eye. We hide him in a bush nearby and if someone sees him they’ll think he’s just a decoration, while we keep an eye out for enemies,” said Tristam, pulling a box out from under his desk. He lifted a small man out and pointed to his face.
I stepped back, away from the devil, freaking out.
“What’s wrong Isaac, gnome got your tongue?” asked Kamari, laughing at me.
“N-no, but that damn thing will have my tongue eventually. Gnomes are evil. I hate them!”
“Stop being so gnomist. It’s a concrete thingy with a camera inside. It’s not going to hurt you,” said Tristram. “Now kiss and make up.”
He thrust the freaky little man out at me, and I immediately turned on my heel, running up the stairs to the second level. I leaned on the railing, trying not to look at the gnome’s evil little grin and pointy hat of doom.
Tristram shook his head at me. “How the hell can you be such a dork?”
“How the hell can you be such a gnome-lover?!”
Kamari raised her eyebrows at me. “You’re very… individual.”
“Hey! I’m not the gnome-lover here!”
“You can leap into burning buildings and fly at a hundred kilometres an hour, and yet you turn into a gibbering idiot when confronted with a common garden gnome?”
“If I had my way, they would all be smashed!”
“You want a gnomicide?” asked Tristram.
“Yes! Smash the gnomes, burn them or whatever. A full-scale GNOMICIDE!”
I thought I’d add an annoying tendency for Tristram to take stuff apart in order to get pieces. For example, Trainer finds that her radio won’t work because he stole the wires. He picks fights with Isaac over (can’t reveal it here) and tends to use his brain more than his body to fight, but he isn’t above kicking when his opponent is down when he does get into physical fights. He is prepared to learn about himself (again, can’t reveal it here) even though he doesn’t like what he finds out.
Do you think a bit of both bravery about facing death and bitterness could work? Like:
(A building is about to be blasted apart by a bomb. All people have been evacuated but their aim is to save the building.)
Aida: “We need a man inside to disarm the bomb.”
Tristram: “I’ll go.”
Requiem: “No. If you die, you’re gone. When I die, I’m reborn. Give me instructions over the stickear.” (communications device)
SIX YEARS LATER
Richie (Requiem reborn): “Oh great, MORE past memories.”
Well, Requiem doesn’t have much authority in FIGHT. He’s the youngest and so is sent to bed earlier by Aida, while the others get to stay up as long as they want. I’d be whining too. It’s like giving a teenager a 10:00 curfew when you know they want 11:00. Though he’s the bottom of the food chain in the group, he still gets taught basic fighting skills. He can hold his own but will probably require assistance from an older person when up against someone reasonably bigger or stronger than he is.
Here are a few things about Kamari (Sentry):
Positive
Is able to laugh at herself when she does something stupid.
Lives life to the fullest.
Co-operates well with most team members.
Is able to solve problems creatively. “There is a light in the scientist’s lab that flashes on if someone tries to pick the lock.” “Is the lab soundproofed?” “Erm, yes, but what does that have to do wi-” (Kamari breaks the window)
Negative
Can be annoying when she talks about trivial things as being “cool” like: “I can walk up stairs! How cool is that?” It is excusable to a degree. She would have died if her father hadn’t paid a scientist to bring them a vial of the super formula (GuardiF, short for Guardian Factor) in the second book.
Argues with Isaac (It seems no one likes him, huh? Haha. Nah, it’s just Tristram who doesn’t like him. Kamari fights with him because he lied to her before and doesn’t fully trust him)
Sometimes zones out when people are talking to her. “Sentry, what did I just say?” “Ummm… we’re going to do something?” “No, I was telling you to improve your attention span!”
Freaks out when anyone shows her any personal attention or flirts with her.
What do you think?
I like Kamari. We’re a lot alike.
I’m similar to her in a few ways, too. I daydream a lot in class, especially if we’re doing something boring like maths or physics. I sometimes solve problems creatively. Last year in social studies, my group’s model of the Leaning Tower of Pisa kept falling over. I grabbed some craft glue and made a cupholder-looking thing out of papier mache to hold it up. I often do stupid things, but I blush more than I laugh. Haha.
Haha! I have a similar story from a physics course during a unit on seismology. We were supposed to create a model building that would survive an earthquake simulator. The only requirement was that the building could not fall apart. Most of the students used pyramidal shapes, which are theoretically sound but vulnerable to joint-integrity problems. In a fit of daring, I made a cubic building held together with paper-clips and rubber-bands. The building toppled over within 2 seconds but the joints held strong.
Hilariously, the teacher decided that that the building had successfully met the requirement of not falling apart even though it was on its side for most of the test. If only real architecture were that forgiving!
Yeah, I don’t think that anyone would be content with working or living in a building that was on its side. Haha.
I’ve revised some of the characteristics for FIGHT members (Known within the group as FIGHTers. This doesn’t make sense when the acronym is written fully as FIrst Generation Hero Team, but it works fine for the abbreviation.)
1. Instead of it being Atalya who cares for Requiem, I’ve changed it to Olivia. That way I can make Atalya hang around with Tristram more often (further securing their relationship) and show that Olivia’s affections aren’t only for animals.
2. Tristram is now less of a computer nerd and more of a jerk. He isn’t meant to come off as totally unlikeable, but just a jerk to Isaac. He’s perfectly civil to everyone else (most of the time) but the mere sight of Isaac makes him want to kick him in the head.
Here are their revised character descriptions:
Atalya (Owlie):
Positive:
–She supports Tristram wherever possible, doing things from simply handing him a screwdriver to finding the motherboard in a computer.
–She sits up straight, napkin in lap, doesn’t put her elbows on the table, etc.
– Very self-confident.
–She’s dedicated to the team’s aim.
Negative:
–She shows favouritism to Tristram, so isn’t always fair to the other members of FIGHT. Always stands by his side in a fight, even if it’s against other FIGHTers like Isaac.
–She’s smug (”I told you so.” “I knew this would happen!”)
–Always seems to have a sarcastic face on.
Tristram (Paladin):
Positive:
–He’s willing to learn about himself, though he doesn’t particularly enjoy finding out how different he really is.
–He’s protective of the team.
–He can hack into a basic computer in minutes, takes up to an hour to get into a network.
–He has an individual style and stands out in FIGHT. His style is pretty much opposed to Isaac’s. Isaac keeps himself neat and tends to wear mostly plain clothes, but Tristram has a primarily red, black, green and white wardrobe. Most of his shirts have some sort of pattern or symbol on them. He has thick, floppy hair with blue and black dye through it and has a favourite jacket with little badges all down the arms.
Negative:
–He hates when it people interrupt him when he’s working on a project.
–He picks fights with Isaac.
–He’s hard to read. It’s impossible to tell whether he’s joking or not. Requiem: “Are you sure your idea will work?” Tristram: “I’m positive.” Requiem: “How positive?” Tristram: “Very.” Requiem: “I have to ask because we have everything staked upon this plan. Are you 100% positive?” Tristram: “Well, we’ll know if my plan failed if the bomb goes off and splatters us across the walls.”
Requiem (Rebirth):
Positive:
–He can tell when someone’s going to die.
–He’s good at reading the emotional atmosphere of an area.
–He can fight reasonably well, having trained in basic jujistsu for one year. Also gets some tips and tricks from his team mates.
Negative:
–Seeing a ghost sometimes upsets him.
–He complains about training when he wants to look around the city, having been born and raised in a small town.
–He argues his bedtime and hates eating anything but junk food.
Olivia (Trainer):
Positive
–Loves animals and can read their emotions, as well as get them to fight alongside her.
–Has a lot of compassion for any person or animal she meets, often doing little things for people “just because”.
–Isn’t afraid to tell someone off if they do any harm to an animal.
Negative:
–Annoys fellow FIGHTers by making baby voices to Spellbind, her border collie.
–Gets very angry if someone hurts an animal for no good reason, which can cause her to lose control and set Spellbind on them.
–Rarely leaves time for herself and gets wrapped up in other people’s problems. As a result, she gets stressed and then gets snappy at anyone who comes near.
Klemente (Form):
Positive:
–Has a sense of humour. He’s the clown of the group. His favourite headgear is a pair of deely-boppers and he likes novelty glasses with the eyes on springs.
–Able to change his appearance to that of any person he sees.
–Provides some comic relief in times of sadness. Kamari: “I just want to go home.” Klemente: “Too bad, I ate it! And I’d do it again!”
Negative:
–Rarely takes things seriously.
–Annoys FIGHTers by morphing so that he looks like them, then loudly mocking them. “I’m Tristram, I think I’m SO cool. I have a blue patch at the front of my hair that makes me look like a blueberry. I’m afraid to wear bright colours. I’m violent and I pick fights with Isaac because I think he’s a dork.” Isaac: (Laughs) Tristram: (Growls and leaps over the table, tackling both Isaac and Klemente)
–His mood changes to that of the person he pretends to be for up to an hour after morphing.
What do you think?
Oh, and Atalya is now known as Whiplash.
Reminder.
Ok, David I have a little task for you. Take each one of your main characters, and for each one pick three different traits from the list up top. Pick two that are likeable in a person, and pick one that isn’t very likeable.
Once you’ve picked your three traits make sure that they go together coherently, even the negative.
For example (I’m not great at this, so bare with me):
Sophisticated, driven, and reckless-pretty odd mix, but how do they fit together. Maybe, he strived (driven) very hard to get a high status in society, thusly, he sophisticates himself to fit their standards. What about reckless you ask? Maybe his popularity went to his head, so becuase he is driven to do something negative, maybe he a bank burglar. He becomes reckless thinking if he is caught he can always somehow get out of prison. He then begin becoming sloppy during heist being reckless he leaves behind clues to who he really is.
See now try that for your characters. Of course it is ok to add a trait as long as they all go together to make and interesting personality.
OK.
Silence is naive, curious, innocent and child-like.
Chain is gentle, arrogant, pig-headed, a drinker, smug, immature and mischievous.
D is cautious, confident, intelligent, logical and blunt.
Solar is sassy, flirty, stubborn and tomboyish.
What do you think?
These are good. One concern, I think Silence needs at least on strong trait, curiousity is good but sometime that won’t make her seem so helpless. a little confidence wouldn’t hurt. Maybe make her protective of other.
Seeing as she’s the main character make sure it isn’t out played by her teammates personality. You like Teen Titans, Take Raven for example, also she had a less noticeable personality when it does come into play, it shows strong.
I like D’s combination. I think he will be pretty easy to work with. Solar probably needs a minor trait that’s a bit unexpected for style. (Something that wouldn’t go hand-in-hand with her previous traits hopefully). I like the contrast between Chain’s gentleness and his immaturity.
Silence’s traits could probably use tweaks at this point. I don’t think that innocentness, naivety and acting like a child will interact in a very interesting way. Those traits overlap heavily. Curiosity is a bit different, but I think that children are typically curious, so…
Hmm. It does not seem to me that Silence is the main character here. Her traits suggest that you’re thinking of using her more as a MacGuffin than as the main character. She’s what the characters are vying to protect more than the protagonist. I’d venture to say that Chain is probably more of an interesting character, and probably better-suited to being the main protagonist. (He has more of an active personality and seems more capable). So I’d recommend leading with him instead of her.
Alternately, if you’re really committed to having her as the main character, I’d recommend giving her a few traits that will help make her more active. For example, she’d probably need to be more independent, a self-starter and more competent than she currently is. For example, when she escapes to Earth, that should be the result of some plan that she designs and executes rather than a careless accident on the part of her father’s minions. That will make her seem more impressive and likable, I think. (Right now, she seems kind of helpless and I don’t think that makes her endearing).
I don’t know what your format is like (comic books vs. graphic novels, for example) but if you’re interested in writing comic books they will probably be around 24 pages. I’d recommend leading with Chain and the Justice Force, describing them for about 8 pages or so. Then I’d recommend introducing Silence and spending 3-4 pages describing her home-life and how she escapes. Then I’d spend another few pages describing how she meets the Justice Force, getting to know them, etc. Then I’d spend the rest of the first issue on the first encounter with Silence’s father.
OK, well. I also have the sequels. The second one is funny and doesn’t have Valkrig in it. It’s more about Chain and his family. The third one is about Silence. She finally fights Valkrig herself and wins.
In the fourth one, we see a more dangerous and violent side to D. But, like you say, I could work more on Silence. Oh, I have an idea. How about, before she meets Chain she causes a few accidents and at one point steals something (unintentionally, as she has no concept of money)? That could fill in the missing months. I do actually wanna change that because it would be less than a few months before Silence’s father came looking for her.
This is a great list and it will definitely help me! Thanks, guys!
Okay … Positive:
curious, whimsical, exuberant, athletic–definitely athletic, she has to be as she is somewhat of an acrobat, almost, and does a lot of climbing and backflips and just jumps and moves in ways we can’t.
Negative:
can be ‘flitty’/go from one subject to the next, sheltered, alien, bored occasionally, sometimes needy (she only lives with her parents, no friends to talk to, takes all their attention, aggressive when she’s in the mood, naive because she knows little of the world, very impulsive because of her abilities/the rest of her personality.
Sympathetic stuff:
innocent, honest, adventurous, energetic, sensitive sometimes, elegant (can that be the same as ‘poised’ like she doesn’t stumble and she isn’t clumsy) but also immature because she’s young and a lot of young people are, well, immature.
Normality:
Well, she’s not really normal and she moves around a lot/doesn’t just sit and watch TV all day … zany I guess, if it means what I think it means.
I like this list, she seems like a young Catwoman which I find interesting and fresh fo a younger character.
So how would you wrap this list up into 1-2 sentences?
Well … okay … *clears throat* Ahem:
Abby is a curious, whimsical girl sheltered by her parents because of her extraordinary abilities that make her athletic, elegant, as well as extremely energetic and occasionally aggressive. Due to being sheltered, she’s very innocent and naive; knows little of what the ‘outside world’ is like. She loves the outdoors-the woods being the only other place she can go to, thus making her ‘wishing for more’ to see of the world-and here, away from her parents, is able to imagine having great adventures.
That wasn’t two sentences and I didn’t get all of it in but it’s a lot shorter than my other post, for sure.
I like it.
I’ve decided to play Tristram and Atalya’s relationship up a little more. Instead of being just boyfriend and girlfriend, they are a deeply committed couple who are always holding hands and laughing together. Tristram rarely laughs when he’s not with her, and she’s a lot more serious when he’s not around. She has been wearing a promise ring for a year.
What do you think?
My first thought is: “What’s a promise ring?”
Anyway, I think that might work, but you’d have to be careful. If you constantly play up their romance (especially if it features any lovey-dovey scenes), it’s probably going to become annoying. At least to male readers. And me, but I understand that I’m not a typical female when it comes to romance in literature.
A promise ring can be a prelude to an engagement ring or a symbol of love between two highly committed people.
Too much romance annoys me, too. I was never into the girly books as a child, always preferring the more male oriented stuff and nonfiction.
I was thinking of having something like this:
TRISTRAM: If I reroute their motherboard’s memory into mine, I can see what they access as they access it.
ATALYA: I love it when you speak computer.
TRISTRAM: I love it that you love it.
ATALYA: I love it that you love it that I love it.
KLEMENTE: Now, we all agree that you’re a good couple, but please, for the sake of my sanity, be quiet!
In that case, I trust your judgement to keep the lovey-dovey to an acceptable level.
What sort of bearing is this going to have on your action scenes, or plans Tristram makes (I vague remember him making up lots of plans, but I could be wrong)? I would assume he’d try and keep Atalya out of danger as much as possible, even when it didn’t make much sense. And in a fight they’d be looking out for one another, which could lead to trouble with their teammates, or even specific targetting by villains.
If the new level added by romance would interfere with the story at all, I’d recommend keeping them as they are. I don’t know very much about your story, so I couldn’t say whether this is likely or not.
That’s one thing about them; they’re very protective of one another. Tristram is usually the tech man, who hacks bank accounts of evil overlords and donates it to charity, steals blueprints of buildings, disables CCTV and invents gizmoes to help out. He has emailed his ideas to the CIA and FBI, letting them use them as long as FIGHT receives seven of each when they begin to manufacture them for government use.
He does get involved in the fights, but that’s more Atalya and Isaac’s area. They’ll always be more concerned with each other than the other heroes and perform coordinated attacks together.
I’ve got a character description for my villain:
Cable (He hasn’t got a supervillain name yet, I’m open to suggestions)
Positive:
Intelligent
Sophisticated
Logical
Negative:
Smug
Stubborn
Criminal
Self-centered
Somewhat whiny (“But Daa-ad! We always bury people alive! It’s a family tradition!”)
His foster father is Kade Ryans, the mob boss of Perth. Cable is given the opportunity to prove himself by killing the Guardian. He wants to kill him slowly and painfully, but Kade wants it quick and easy so there isn’t a risk of his escape. (Think Doctor Evil and Scott, except reversed. Also, the methods of death aren’t as zany. No frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laserbeams attached to their frickin’ heads. More like drowning, electrocution and burying alive.) Both Kade and Cable want to humiliate him and expose his identity before killing him, as revenge for foiling so many of their plans.
For those who have forgotten, these are Cable’s powers:
Psi-blasts (he can use these to knock people over, fly, smash windows etc)
Increased (not super) strength (he has been training, so he is stronger than Isaac.)
Increased (not super) speed (see above)
I’ve decided to grant Isaac an additional power later on. By concentrating his psi-blasts, he can form it into a ball of energy that floats above his hand. He can make more than one at a time and when thrown they send out a ripple of energy, with the epicentre being wherever it lands. (As opposed to Isaac being the epicentre of the psi-blasts)
The name Deathtrap and Dad springs to mind.
Oh, I thought Cable was his supervillain name. Silly me. I’m not all that enthused about the only two(?) superpowered people having the very similar powers, but I guess it could work.
I like Deathtrap, you could also try Deathforce. Or you could try something that is the opposite of a guardian.
The opposite of guardian? That’s difficult to pin down. I don’t think there is a direct antonym for Guardian. But it’s a good idea.
What, don’t use Deathtrap!
That’s the call-sign of one of the OSI’s pilots. (Along with Trainwreck, Crash and Osprey).
Hmm… tangent time! Osprey is a bad pun that only military readers will get, but I hope that it won’t affect readers that miss the joke. Likewise, Dr. Darpa is the eccentric scientist that develops weapons for the Office of Special Investigations. If you knew that DARPA was the go-to agency for wacky defense research, that could be funny. If you didn’t get the DARPA reference, “Dr. Darpa” sounds like a completely normal name for a scientist of Indian or Pakistani descent.
At first I thought that having Isaac and Cable with similar powers would be a problem, but then I thought about humans. We kick, punch etc and anyone can do it. Some people are just stronger than others, eg I would never hold my own in a fight against a boxer, but I’d do okay against an untrained adult. Seeing as Isaac can use most of his powers effectively and Cable has trained himself too, the fight would be easier for Cable when it came to strength, but Isaac could dodge around using aerial maneuvers and throw psi-blasts against him.
Well adding to your observation on human fighting, there are a large variety of martial arts form. I guess this is our “variety” of powers. But, in saying this I’m advancing your point, so I understand what you mean.
I’m a fan of mixing up the powers. When the two combatants have the same powers, I feel the fights are usually mediocre. A few comic book and movie examples come to mind: Green Lantern vs. Sinestro, Hulk vs. Abomination, sometimes Spiderman vs. Venom, Wolverine vs. Lady Deathstrike, Superman vs. most of his villains, etc. Having two characters that are mirror images of each other tends to make the moves more redundant.
Even if the two characters have different fight-styles, I don’t think that it would be easy to make the fight look interesting. Novelists may have less of a problem with this, but then again any novel is going to be considerably less action-oriented than the average comic book. So it’s less of a game-killer for novels.
Hmm. I guess I could change Cable’s powers. Maybe make it so he isn’t Kade Ryans’ foster son, but his biological son who was changed because of some scientific mumbo-jumbo.
What powers could he have to be a good opponent to Isaac? He’d need to fly and have some form of projectile (I love the idea of dogfights in the sky).
Energy control lends itself pretty well for this purpose. For example, Iron-Man, Captain Atom and Starfire both use energy attacks and flight.
Elemental control of some sort is probably a bit cliche, but it could make a nice complement to melee powers. Usually, elemental control is used as a primary power, so it’s fresher as a complement. I’m particularly fond of wind and fire for this purpose because they can be used in interesting ways that require very little explanation. For example, if the villain tries to force the hero out of hiding by setting the place on fire, Isaac won’t have to say to readers “Oh no! I’ve got to get out of here because he’s smoking me out!”
You could use guns and the like, but for marketing reasons you may wish to avoid those. Publishers will blink. (Also, some consumers like libraries would prefer to avoid books that feature such elements).
Okay, I’m fond of the elemental powers. How about control over ice? Then he could turn rain into ice cubes, make a cloud start hailing/snow, create patches of ice on the road to cause crashes, lower room temperature to freezing levels and use spikes of ice as projectiles. That would also mean he could use them as murder weapons to stab someone and leave. The ice would melt and there would be little or no evidence. Now he needs a name. What about Shiver or Chill?
I tend to steer my stories away from firearms and more towards blades. A firearm can kill instantly from a distance, making fights easy and boring. At least with blades it is more close-quarters and the fights tend to last longer.
I like the idea of blades, but do they complement the ice well? Maybe if he made his blades. (Technically, icicles do not make for practical murder weapons, but since he’s making his own ice I think readers could suspend their belief that it’s special ice.
I think control over ice is a bit of an implausible power. Comparatively implausible, that is, because superpowers in general are implausible. Since ice is just the solid form of water there is no reason why he couldn’t manipulate water just as easily. How about having him control temperature? He could make his victims cold as ice by touching them, for example.
As for names, you could go from the extremely cliche (Doctor Frigid!) to the gritty one-word name (Frostbite) to the slightly creepy (Goose Flesh).
B.Mac, wouldn’t bludgeoning someone over the head with a large block of ice be more effective than stabbing them with an icicle? Using my suggestion above he could turn the air above someone into ice and it would drop down with a crunch and a squelch, leaving no trace at all.
How about calling him Iceman!
Wait…
Mr. Freeze?
Wait…
I’ve got it, give him the power of fire aswell. Then call him Frostbu- wait…
I was going to give him water, but then I realised he could just immediately drown Isaac from the inside out by taking the water from his cells and moving it to his lungs. I used it as a plot device in an earlier short story. I could explain how he controls ice but not water by saying he can only control water at a certain temperature – which just happens to be freezing point.
If ice wouldn’t be effective as a blade, he could just carry a Swiss army knife around anyway.
Oddly enough, I’ve been telling myself not to break combat rules when using Adrian. Such as drowning an enemy from the inside or just flooding a room or space and drowning them.
I like the temperature parameter. I sort of similar to Adrian’s powers of thermokinesis on water. He can make it boil, but not steam and he can make it cold, but not freeze it. He can pull moisture from the air, but that’s an advanced technique for Lemorions (Jimelly’s race).
I’m fond of water powers; Gi was always my favourite character on Captain Planet. Her power made me go through a whole stage where I wanted to be a marine biologist. Haha. I think ice is cool too. I love how it looks in Final Fantasy X and Kingdom Hearts.
What exactly is milquetoast?
Milquetoast means to be too timid.
Right. I need to figure out which character traits to give to Cara, Mist, Ra, Michielle, the king, and the main villain. Any suggestions?
First off, what kind of impression do you want each character to give?
When coming up with a new character, this is my process:
1) Pick a very generic character type (jock, flirt, nerd, badass, bitch, showoff, etc).
2) Strip away some of the more generic and obvious traits of that character type.
3) Add an interesting positive trait (and possibly an interesting talent). This can vary depending on how outstanding you want your character to be.
4) Add an interesting flaw or negative trait.
And that’s it. Hopefully this works for other people, too. It works well for me because I like characters with particularly exotic personalities, like Adrian.
Well, I like something I can understand and work with.
How’s this?
Cara is kind, sheltered, curious, hostile towards Michielle (there is a good reason for that; it will be explained and I’m going to have a growing friendship between the two), and a father’s girl. Her talent is her illusion power, which I’ve thought of some great ways to use.
Mist is strong, brave, honor-bound, understanding, wise, mature, and sometimes a bit hasty.
Ra is loyal, fierce, gentle, protective of Cara, and loves fish.
Michielle is sarcastic, sometimes overzealous for the next fight, kind and understanding.
That’s the best I can do for now. I usually let my characters develop while writing.
What in these traits makes Cara a stand alone character? Since she’s the main character, she needs to be the most interesting. The traits she has now seem nice and fitting, but what’s her wow factor? What makes me want to read about Cara?
Sigh. I dunno. I’m just gonna write the story and see how it goes.
It’s all good. Maybe through exposition you’ll find her wow factor.
Let’s see these are the members of Jimelly’s Ashrays (informal name) and their team. A short synopsis, then attributes (save Adrian, you already know him).
Adrian, 17: The showy and stylish young actor.
Garret, 19: The silent beacon of peak athleticism. Essentially, he’s a strong and silent type.
- Silent
- Protective
- Dim (this is why he doesn’t talk)
- Friendly
- Gentle
(I would have made him a jerk, but I have Eric. I’ll use him if I want one)
Jose, 18: The fast-tongued money grubber.
- Single-minded (Moneeey!!)
- Sly
- Sarcastic
- Nimble
- Comical (Although, his jokes are usually at others expense. He’s my Deadpan Snarker)
I’m not sure who I want for my female character. If I choose Michelle, I’ll have a team of generally strong personalities. And if I choose Carissa, I’ll ballance the team with two softer personalities and two stronger. I think I’ll go with Carissa. Michelle might overshadow Jose just a bit as both are slick and sarcastic.
Carissa, 18: The sweet and sour music child.
- Endearing
- Airheaded
- Snappy
- Careless
I want the team to seem really thrown together and ragtag. A mix of random personalities that has to wok together. Hopefully, the ability to clash personality with help me make dialogue stylish.
What do you think?
Hmm . . . four characters in a short series? I don’t know, I think you might have difficulty developing the three not-named Adrian. You could combine Carissa and Garret (by making Garret more outspoken and intelligent, he could counter the strong personalities of Jose and Adrian). If you want a female member of the team, Jose could probably be replaced with Michelle. Or just be female.
I’m not overly familar with your series, so if you think you can handle four characters on the team + other allies and villains, then go for it. At the moment I don’t think Carissa adds much, though. She seems like a ditzy version of Garret. If you wanted to keep her, I might suggest making her a more nerdy and conventional type. Maybe also nice, but socially awkward. I could see Garrett being the victim of Jose’s Deadpan Snarker comments, so Carissa might work to defend him. Also, if the team is a complete mix of personalities, a character like this might help to keep them together.
Good points, especially the amount of characters and development. I think I’m going to combine Garret (I don’t much care for his powers, anyway) and Carissa into Carissa (but less ditzy). I don’t want a nerdy character, because all of them are smart in one way or another. I think three will work fine.
Thanks for the help.
Yeah, I was going to say that I wasn’t sure about the size of the team. I think that giving Adrian teammates might cause the minor characters to steal the show. Personally, I think it would be more interesting to build up Adrian’s alternate identity than it would be to give him teammates. But that’s just me. There is ample evidence that both team stories and solo stories can sell well.
I like that the characters are roughly equal in age. No kid tagalongs… I don’t think their precise ages are necessary in-story, though. You can probably just refer to them as high school students, or upperclassmen if you want to get specific.
I’d recommend replacing Jose’s single-minded pursuit with a more general selfishness. I think it might be easier to work selfishness into a plot than a lust for money.
Worst-case scenario, the sly/sarcastic/comical Jose overlaps with Adrian and maybe overshadows him.
Jim put this team together, right? I’m kind of interested to see why he selected all of these individuals.
Do they have a leader? Is it Adrian? (It doesn’t have to be. In fact, it might be more interesting if Adrian has to distinguish himself by excelling in a side-role… maybe the leader is kind of dense and Adrian has to improvise).
I really did consider making this a solo story. Dammit, now I’m reconsidering. I wouldn’t have to change to much and it wouldn’t be that hard. Idea! Instead of having Adrian be on teams with the others he will team up with them. Meaning they will probably only show up once or twice. I think this could make slightly more sense if each person with a different power has a different mentor alien with that power. That way I could have them show up, contrast with Showtime, work together, and go away so that I don’t have to over-develop them. It’s almost too perfect. I have the partners without the commitment.
I think I’ve got it. Thanks B. Mac.
Hmm. Good luck.
What’s with the jugdmental “Hmm?”
It was not judgmental…
I have some reservations about whether cameo superheroes will be interesting, but it could work.
Don’t worry, I think I’m pretty good at stylish characters. And if not you guys can point out flaws.
I woke up to somehow be in the mood to work on my romantic comedy. Can I get some feedback on Charles’s characteristics?
MENTAL
overcautious
clueless
unquestioning
confident
MORAL
law-abiding
honest
ENERGY
driven
SOCIAL
shy
pushover
NORMALITY
naïve
no personal opinion(Stacie:I love your clothes, Charles! Charles:Well I can say all my clothes are this great. Harley:I just feel they look so status quo. Charles: I hate these rags too!)
PHYSICAL
scrawny
tall
What’s up doc(s)?
It seems a bit like you just threw a ton of random traits together. Overcautious directly contradicts clueless, shy directly contradicts confident, and so does unquestioning, honest seems to contradict your example for ‘no personal opinion’.
“Overcautious directly contradicts clueless…” Probably, yeah. However, I think someone could be paranoid in an absolutely inept way.
AGENT ORANGE: I have learned that beavers are constructing sinister dams across America. Whatever they plan to do with our water supply, it could only be nefarious!
AGENT BLACK: Umm, I don’t think so.
AGENT ORANGE: You’re missing the signs!
…
I agree that shyness and confidence (even if the shyness is social/external and the confidence is mental/internal) would be very hard to reconcile. Also, I think that it would be very tricky if the character didn’t express his personal opinions (or worse, didn’t have any). It’d be very hard for a wimp to stand out in a way that made him seem impressive and/or likable and/or heroic. (To be fair, Agent Black is pretty unassertive for a hero, but he sometimes pushes back when Agent Orange goes over the edge).
Thanks for the help. I guess I overthought my planning. Does this sound better?
Charles is a tall,scrawny, high school boy of slightly below average intelligence (hes stupid. not an idiot, but stupid). Charles has practically no sense of adventure, making him very boring. On most occasions, Charles never can tell whats going on. With his always wrong explanations of most major events in his life, things usually turn out bad for him.
Does this sound better?
KrazE’s last post was a long time ago, so I’m not sure if s/he will be around to see this comment, but um, I’ll try.
So Charles is for a romantic comedy and not a superhero story, right? I think it’d be helpful to see who his “match-up” is, to see how the characters work with each other. Right now, I’m not sure if Charles has enough POSITIVE traits. He’s described as being unintelligent, non-adventurous, clueless, and not particularly handsome… So what DOES he have going for him? A “boring” leading male won’t be very interesting to your audience. What’s gonna make us cheer for him, and hope he gets the girl inspite of all his bumbling?
Maybe instead of making him completely inept, you could at least make him very adventurous? Like he’s a big risk-taker (partly because he doesn’t think things through, and this could lead to comedic situations) and makes a lot of jokes. But he’s still clueless about things, especially about girls or the reasons for certain situations.
Um, does this help at all?
My story (working title: “Second Life”) has five main characters, and not very many important side characters, so I wanna make sure these five work okay… What do you think, ladies and gentlemen? Any first-impressions or suggestions for me? I feel like they need some work…
Rem, the Protagonist/Heroine (Female), late teens
Impulsive/Reckless – Combative/Proud – Fiercely Loyal
Rem is a rowdy and misguided tomboy from a small southern town, and her recklessness gets her and her cousin Corey into a lot of trouble. She doesn’t often think about the consequences of her actions because she always reacts in-the-moment. She often makes up “plans as she goes”, but sometimes it just makes things worse! If somebody gets her angry, she has no problem telling them what she thinks of them, and doesn’t like to admit when she was in the wrong. Instead of admitting to anything out loud, Rem would prefer to make amends somehow and still keep her pride.
When she makes friends, she gets very attached to them and does her best to stick by their side, no matter what. Though she sometimes gets into arguments with her friends because she’s so hotheaded, she really tries to let them know they’re important to her. Usually, she’s an adventurous risk-taker, though she can be mellow when she’s not riled up. She tries very hard to listen to other people when they tell her it’s IMPORTANT, and though she may be impatient, she tries to be fair.
Naveed, the Hero (Male), early twenties
Serious – Reserved – Curious – Exhausted – Blunt – Philosophical
Naveed is already an ex-criminal/soldier in “Five Star Defense”, which is an otherworldly sci-fi prison run by an Artificial Intelligence system, where you get thrown out into the heat of battle instead of sitting around in a jail cell. Because he has managed to survive for so long in this personal hell, Naveed has learned to be serious about everything, because nothing in this place is a joke. He’s usually quiet and somber, always thinking, and he seems ill with weariness.
But Naveed is also resilient, and very curious about the way “normal people” live their lives. He’s more engaged, enthusiastic, and full of life when he’s exploring the ruins of an old city, digging out old books, artifacts, and little trinkets. He treats these things very delicately and reverently, as if considering their past owners.
Although he’s blunt with people and not particularly sociable, Naveed has strong leadership skills and tries to settle disputes amongst the other prisoners without letting anyone using their powers to blow each other apart. Because he is quietly active amid the community of prisoners, he’s gained a level of respect from them, but normally keeps to own team. He’s is a peacekeeper, and tries to take care of people when he can. No one else is going to…
Vanessa (Female), early twenties, Naveed’s ex-flame
Sensitive – Needy – Insecure – Analytical – Nervous
Vanessa used to have more of a fighting spirit, but these days she’s very needy towards Naveed, who she depends on for support. She’s a nervous sort of person, almost as if she’s ready to panic at any moment. Instead of coming unglued, however, she tries very hard to keep herself calm and collected. But her personal insecurities are always gnawing away at this façade, and she gets jealous or depressed when Naveed spends too much time away from her. He’s all she has in this twisted prison, and she’s scared that he might abandon her.
While she’s sensitive to her relationships with other people, she really gets her act together in battle. Though you may see her trembling in the face of danger, she never stops moving forward, and she never lets herself be useless. Part of her is trying to prove herself to Naveed, and she puts all of her perceptive, analytical, and thinking skills to work. She’s good with making compromises, getting a feel for the situation, and knowing when to “fight or flight”.
Corey (Male), late teens, Rem’s Cousin
Jokester – Clueless – Vulnerable/Insecure
Corey is Rem’s cousin, and he’s always looking out for her or backing her up. Though he’s also got an adventurous streak, he’s usually the first one to notice when things are starting to go horribly wrong. He’s not particularly intelligent and is inept at forming plans, which is why he lets Rem get him into trouble all the time. But no matter what, Corey is always supporting her like a second-in-command. If he’s got a problem with her methods, he’ll wait until AFTER the situation has mellowed out before confronting her about it.
Generally, Corey is light-hearted and optimistic, maybe even idealistic. He likes to think of the good side of things because he feels vulnerable when things get bad. Making jokes is the only way he knows how to deal with it. After a car crash early in the novel, Corey gets a head injury that later causes him to have trouble thinking about something from beginning to end, and this absent-mindedness frustrates him a great deal.
Kain (Male), early twenties, antagonistic ally
Reckless – Smug – Charming – Manipulative – Antihero
Kain is an ally of Naveed and Vanessa’s, and an old “friend”, but his relationship with them has gone to pieces over the years. Kain has the personality of a handsome salesman, or a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Because he can act so charming and understanding, and knows the “right things to say”, he can be very convincing when he wants to persuade someone of something.
Although Kain is bitter inside and has some depraved morals, he tries to appear like he’s in a cool, relaxed mood all the time. Usually, this “cool mood” just comes off as arrogant, but he’s not outright mean to anyone unless he’s got a reason.
Kain tends to respect people with strong personalities/self courage, and has a rational mindset about things. “Good and evil” isn’t black and white for him, so he doesn’t mind doing immoral things for a heroic reason, or doing good-civillian acts for self-gain. Kain is usually well-composed, savvy, and treads a path between good and evil.
Um, did I write too much…? Sorry! How about I just do this, as a super-brief summary of what I wrote:
Rem, the Protagonist/Heroine (Female), late teens
Impulsive/Reckless – Combative – Proud – Fiercely Loyal
Naveed, the Hero (Male), early twenties
Serious – Reserved – Curious – Exhausted – Blunt – Philosophical
Vanessa (Female), early twenties, Naveed’s ex-flame
Sensitive – Needy – Insecure – Analytical/Intelligent – Nervous – Reliable
Corey (Male), late teens, Rem’s Cousin
Jokester – Clueless – Vulnerable/Insecure
Kain (Male), early twenties, antagonistic ally
Reckless – Smug – Charming – Manipulative
Rem– this character sounds like a pretty generic Action Girl. I’d recommend mixing in something unexpected to give this character more depth. Maybe a counterintuitive trait. It may help to come up with an experience that has made the character who she is. Ideally, this experience will help you think of different avenues to develop the character. How is this character different from other brash heroes and heroines?
Naveed– like you said, it doesn’t seem intuitive that an unsociable person would make a good leader. That contradiction could be interesting. …Nothing about this character makes him sound exhausted (peacekeeping and looking for artifacts makes him sound energetic). The contradiction between curiosity and exhaustion is not as fruitful, I feel… his personal background feels kind of cliche. (Are you a fan of Vin Diesel movies?)
Vanessa– Not quite sure I get this character. If she’s reasonably useful in a fight, why is she so dependent on Naveed? Also, I suspect that her mental issues are going to make readers want to yell something like “good grief, call the waah-mbulance…” Why does Naveed keep her around? (Please dig deeper than something like “because he’s kind/nice/compassionate/heroic/felt sorry for her/etc.”)
There seems to be a lot of overlap between Corey and Vanessa. Of the two, I like Corey a lot more– his frustration with his mental issues sounds very interesting. The frustration adds a layer of self-awareness that isn’t present in Vanessa, and I think that makes him feel more real. I would, however, recommend giving him a minor talent that makes him slightly more valuable to his teammates. (Maybe it’s a skill or knowledge-set that he had once mastered, but the crash left him with only a shadow of what he used to have. Maybe that’d be like the mental equivalent of watching a 40-year-old Michael Jordan play basketball– both inspiring and depressing?)
I’m not fond of Kain. He strikes me as kind of cliche.
Hiya, B. Mac! Thank you very much for your input.
I’m really having trouble with the characters, partly because I’m revising a story I wrote when I was younger. I think my revisions are just making things worse, haha. How do THESE concepts sound? These are closer to the originals.
[REM]
The “action girl” thing is all new… She was originally more mild-mannered and innocent. Her and Corey’s felony was their very first crime, so they felt VERY threatened being surrounded by all the hardered criminals at the prison. She was frightened, but tried to suppress her fear because being scared wasn’t going to help her and Corey survive. Her upbeat optimism and Corey’s jokes were meant to keep each others’ spirits up in this gloomy, gritty setting. But isn’t this too “generically nice”? I guess I over-compensated when I tried to make her more rough-around-the-edges… I wonder how I could blend “nice” and “rambunctious” attitudes to make a good protagonist…?
[COREY]
Thank you kindly for the suggestion of Corey having a broken talent. I love that idea. Naveed pins him as a liability right from the start, so it would be helpful for him to have an ability to counteract that stigma. Since Corey doesn’t have the psychic glitch, his experiences in the prison give the readers insight into how the ordinary non-psychic prisoners exist in this place.
[NAVEED]
Naw, I haven’t heard of Van Diesel… I’ll work on Naveed’s background, then. Would it help to mention that he was always serious and meticulous, even before he came to prison? He’s always been a quiet, introspective sort. More keen on watching people than talking to them. I think he was a teenage serial killer, but I’m still trying to figure out if that will work with his character. It would go well with his intense focus, anyways… But I wonder how you make a transition from killing people because you can get away with it, to suddenly realizing that lives are something worth protecting? Actually, maybe that could work okay… But if he was quiet, serious, and introspective to begin with, is that better than a “hardened prison criminal” backstory? He gets more lively and curious when he’s exploring the old ruins for the artifacts of past lives.
[VANESSA]
Oh dear, I’ve always had problems with this character, haha. The original version of the character was greatly unbalance and had some post-traumatic issues, and she DID come unglued during a scene or two. She was intensely uncomfortable around everyone except for Naveed and Kain, and was meek, shy, and depressed. Her healing powers made her an asset, but I absolutely don’t want healing magic in the story anymore. It was too convenient whenever I got one of the characters injured… In this version, I want her to be delicate, but… but not too wangsty… I’ll really have to think about how to pull that off… She was convicted for some sort of bank fraud, so I know she’s smart and a good liar…
The reason Naveed keeps her around NOW is because…
1) It’s a potential threat for other psychic-glitched prisoners to run around WITHOUT being Naveed’s ally (especially if it was a scorned ex-girlfriend who knows about his escape plan!)
2) More glitched teammates means the escape effort will be easier. Extra power makes for more efficiency and less individual strain.
3) He still cares about her, even though their relationship fell through
4) As an old friend, Kain would probably add “Kill Naveed” to his personal agenda if Naveed just decided, “Whoops, oh well. She’s not MY problem anymore!”
[KAIN]
In the original novel, Kain was actually the self-appointed leader instead of Naveed because he was the more outspoken of the two, but I tried to change him into the “semi-antagonist” because I cut the cast in half during revisions. I cut out four characters, and Kain’s added villainy is there to fill the gaps…
Originally, instead of being a manipulative cheshire-cat kind of guy, he was more like a tribal prince. Noble, upright, and morally intact, but with far too much zeal for violence and battle. Out of everyone, he was the one who actually ENJOYED having the power to kick the snot out of robots all day. But he did NOT appreciate being forced into this “slavery” when he’s of honorable blood. He could be very loud, rude, moody, and occasionally comedically unlucky. (Mix a “tribal prince” with an “old English prince”. He was pretty civillized except for his affinity for violence)
Are these actually fresher character concepts, even though they’re my original ones? Should I try to mix these with the newer concepts? What works and what doesn’t…?
:O
You don’t know who Vin Diesel is!?
jokin’.
Anyways, he starred in The Pacifier, Fast and Furious (the first and current/newest), Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick, he was also in some war movie, and was the voice behind The Iron Giant. Plus other movies I can’t recall the titles of.
Oh, is he the guy from “Saving Private Ryan”? I think I might know who you guys are talking about now, lol. I haven’t seen many movies with him in it, though… Is he often the “tough-guy with a hard past” sort of character? B. Mac mentioned Vin Diesel in reference to what my hero character Naveed’s background was like.
Umm, umm, any thoughts on my character concepts?
You don’t even have to read all of them, haha. Comments and ideas for any of my five main characters would be really super helpful…
Hmmmm… These attributes are really important, to plotting the character !
Hey SN. What is the best way to a mix and match character traits that go together and create a complicated, well-rounded, and understandable character?
Hmm. I’d recommend picking unexpected combinations. For example, instead of making your character a stereotypical fighter or a stereotypical genius, maybe you could give him a trait associated with each.
Also, please spend some time thinking about flaws. Give him something that will challenge him in the context of your plot. Do NOT give him fake flaws like “he tries too hard” or “he’s a perfectionist” or “he’s too popular” or “everybody’s jealous of him.” (Sadly, I’ve heard all of those things). The flaw(s) should raise obstacles that are high enough to present interesting challenges.
Also, I’d recommend making the character prove himself again and again. One thing that bugs me is when the protagonist gets congratulated by other characters before the half-way point. If anything, I would hold the congratulations until the epilogue. The more doubt he has to overcome, the more likely that readers will agree that he actually is impressive.
…
Some examples from my work.
–Gary Smith is a clumsy accountant thrown into an extremely dangerous position as a secret agent. His main flaw is that he doesn’t have any of the skills that a secret agent needs to survive and that he let himself be roped into a position he was not qualified for.
–Agent Orange is a good-natured but extremely eccentric mutant alligator. Since he’s the main fighter on the team, I decided to give him an unexpected voice by making his vocabulary wildly advanced. AO is quite annoyed at his new partner, Gary, because Gary can’t handle most of the roles that AO has usually left to his partner. This means that AO may have to negotiate for hostages or defuse bombs once in a while. It’s not like the accountant can do it.
I find the best way is to imagine how the character would work in real life. Also, some traits just plain jar with others (impulsive and thoughtful on the same character?)
Although I don’t encourage basing a character off a friend, if you have a few character traits and are struggling to fill out the character some more, it may help you to link them to a friend/relative/acquantaince in real life. (For example, “Ack, what are the drawbacks of being _____? Hey, my uncle Bob is quite _____, and he always _____” – be careful with this, though.)
…Otherwise your best bet is probably getting feedback from others. People are complicated, so you could possibly explain apparently contradictory characteristics that they pick up on – but if they find your explanation unbelievable or weak, that’s a sign that you may need to rework that part of their personality.
Hope this helps!