May 23 2008
And other exciting new defense technology developments…
Dr. Darpa: I heard that Russia is now patrolling its nuclear-armed bombers 24 hours a day now.
Captain Carnage: That’s right.
Dr. Darpa: That could destabilize US-Russian relations, if we thought there were any conceivable chance Russian bombers could get close enough to attack Chicago or Seattle.
Captain Carnage: I’d say at least 50%.
Dr. Darpa: 50%, hah! Not after you see what I’ve been working on: Project Unmutually Assured Destruction. It’s the largest surface-to-air missile site ever built. It was so colossal that I could only fit it in Yosemite National Park.
Captain Carnage: An antiballistic missile site in a national park?
Dr. Darpa: Now, the only remaining task is to name it. I present to you: the Yosemite SAM Site.