Archive for the 'Quote of the Day' Category

Jul 28 2008

Henry Ford & The Value of Perseverance in Writing

Published by B. Mac under Quote of the Day

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“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.”

Nor can you sell a publisher a manuscript you haven’t written yet.* Get writing!

*Unless your past books have sold notably well, in which case I hate you.

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Jun 26 2008

Another thought on superheroes

Published by Paingod under Comedy, Paingod, Quote of the Day

I don’t trust anyone that calls himself a “superhero.” The only difference between a “superhero” and a “supervillain” is that the villain’s been caught.

–Paingod

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Jun 16 2008

The Luck of the IRS? (Or: Eat Pennies!)

Agent Orange: Greetings, Mammal-Black! I require your expertise.

Agent Black: Tax trouble again?

Agent Orange: Indeed. Your former colleagues at the IRS persist in their shameless schemes to extort me.

Agent Black: And did this vendetta against you begin before or after you insisted on paying your income taxes in pennies?

Agent Orange: That wouldn’t have seemed unreasonable if they hadn’t demanded so much money!

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Jun 07 2008

A Quip About Ulysses

Ulysses is a totally incomprehensible book. Understanding it is like machine-gunning a pack of unicorns. Anyone that claims to have done either is lying, but should be institutionalized anyway.”

–Cadet Davis

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Jun 05 2008

A different kind of mission statement

“When you kill one person, it’s a tragedy. When you kill a thousand people, it’s a statistic. When you kill a million people, you’re in.” – The Supervillain Hall of Fame

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Jun 04 2008

Featured Quote: My Career Aspirations

Published by B. Mac under Comedy, Quote of the Day

“When I was a third grader, I wanted to be a President, a pilot or a ninja. Unfortunately, I’m too clumsy to be a ninja, too blind to be a pilot, and too moral to run for President.”

–B. Mac

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Jun 03 2008

Featured Quote: Catastrophe the Problem Gambler

Published by B. Mac under Catastrophe, Comedy, Quote of the Day

Catastrophe: “I don’t have a gambling problem. I win.”

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Jun 01 2008

Demotivational Poster

Picture courtesy of the US War Dogs Association.

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Jun 01 2008

Featured Quote of the Day: Mike and the Truth

Truth is the glue that holds government together.” — Gerald Ford

“If you want to live under something held together by glue, you probably wouldn’t make much of an architect.” — Mike, Director of the Office of Special Investigation’s RETCON branch.

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May 28 2008

Lol Gator 3

I think he’s going to feed the gator more than he intended.

Picture c/o simplydumb.com, caption courtesy of me (inserted with the help of ICanHas Cheezburger.com

One response so far

May 27 2008

Quote of the Day: Halloween Ideas

Agent Orange: Greetings, Mammal-Black! I have an excellent costume for our upcoming office Halloween party. It makes full use of my mammal-frightening teeth and reptilian horror factor and this pleases me.

Agent Black: Godzilla?

Agent Orange: IRS agent.

Agent Black: That’s a terrible costume.

Agent Orange: Don’t make me take 28% of your candy!

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May 25 2008

Gator Art

“It’s not mine, officer, I swear!”

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May 25 2008

Lol Gators 2

lolgatortowel.jpg

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May 23 2008

And other exciting new defense technology developments…

Dr. Darpa: I heard that Russia is now patrolling its nuclear-armed bombers 24 hours a day now.

Captain Carnage: That’s right.

Dr. Darpa: That could destabilize US-Russian relations, if we thought there were any conceivable chance Russian bombers could get close enough to attack Chicago or Seattle.

Captain Carnage: I’d say at least 50%.

Dr. Darpa: 50%, hah! Not after you see what I’ve been working on: Project Unmutually Assured Destruction. It’s the largest surface-to-air missile site ever built. It was so colossal that I could only fit it in Yosemite National Park.

Captain Carnage: An antiballistic missile site in a national park?

Dr. Darpa: Now, the only remaining task is to name it. I present to you: the Yosemite SAM Site.

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May 23 2008

Lol Gator

I got into Lolcats today and I find it stupidly amusing.

Spiders have it easy.

Climbing Gator picture taken from here.

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May 20 2008

Gator Art 4

slowlearner.jpg

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May 19 2008

Featured Quote of the Day: Bring the Kids!

Agent Orange: Kids today are so hard to please.

Agent Black: I don’t even want to think about how you might know that.

Agent Orange: Yesterday…

Teacher: Class, today our guest speaker is Agent Orange.

Agent Orange: I’m a Special Investi-Gator.

Teacher: Could you explain what it is you do?

Agent Orange: Are you sure? There are kids here.

Student 1: Have you ever killed anyone?

Agent Orange: Laws need claws or they’d just be words.

Student 2: How many people have you killed?

Agent Orange: The confirmed score or a rough estimate?

Agent Black: …

Agent Black: Suddenly I have questions of my own.

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May 08 2008

Quote of the Day: Sports

The biggest suckers in football are the Jets. In basketball, the refs. In soccer, the spectators.

– Agent Orange

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May 07 2008

Quote of the Day: Questions

Agent Black and everybody’s favorite mutated alligator, Agent Orange, have a strange conversation about killing terrorists with sponge-cake. And other questions you never thought to ask!

Continue Reading »

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May 06 2008

Quote of the Day: Sports

Soccer can teach us a lot about Europe. There’s a lot of running but precious little action, and violence is always liable to break out at any moment.

– Agent Orange

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