Jun 05 2008
Creating Interesting Characters: Characterization by Trait
This article will help you create and develop characters.
Some authors brainstorm and plot characters by using lengthy character questionnaires. That is generally a mistake because answering questions like “what car does he drive?” probably won’t give you interesting insights into the character or the role he will play in your story. At best, you’re answering a string of barely relevant questions based on the unsettled character concept you had in mind when you started the questionnaire.
There is a better way, fortunately. I recommend plotting a character by taking two likeable traits and one that isn’t inherently likeable. (Not sure which traits to pick? We’ve compiled a list here). Then ask yourself how this character might embody these traits.
For example, let’s say your characteristics are rugged, philosophical and antisocial. We usually want readers to sympathize with the main character, so let’s ask ourselves why he is antisocial. Maybe he has a legitimate and major beef with society. But what? Well, he’s rugged, right? Maybe his face has been horribly scarred by an accident or animal attack and now he lives alone in the wilderness. So now we’re getting a good visualization of this character: hard and freakishly ugly.
Now let’s try to describe his mental characteristics. He’s philosophical. Perhaps he was an academic before being attacked by a mastiff, but I think that’s too obvious. What if he became philosophical only after the attack? Perhaps he’s a relatively uneducated guy searching for some way to come to grips with the cosmic injustice that has befallen him. I think this coping quest would be accentuated if he lost a job that relied on his physical appearance. Hopefully he wasn’t a model (too obvious), but maybe he was a car salesman or someone else that needed to make a good impression. This will heighten his sense of loss.
So now let’s recap what I’ve discovered about this character in the ten minutes it took me to brainstorm.
- defining characteristics
- physical appearance
- job and educational background
- his defining desire– to come to grips with his ugliness
That’s not bad for ten minutes! By contrast, if I were filling out a character questionnaire, I’d be stumbling through questions like “what’s in his wallet?” without any appreciation of what defines the character. Putting the defining characteristics front-and-center and then filling in the rest of the character as needed is a far more structured and productive way to develop characters.
Thanks! I was having difficulty with this.
Ok. I have a question. Would a superpowered inner-city kid from the projects be an interesting character?
Armond, that’s an unexpected and fresh demographic trait. As far as demographics go, it’s interesting, but demographics are only the start to character development. Have you made any decisions about his personality, motivation, talents, family life, etc? How would you distinguish your hero from the protagonist of Blokhedz?
Ive never heard of Blokhedz, but I wanted to make him a real conflicted character with problems at home, struggling in school but also trying to find a way to help out his hood and his city.
Also, how would you make a female love interest interesting? I don’t want her to be a damsel in distress.
Good question. B.M. did a really brief article on this here, but I don’t think that romance is really our forte.
B. MAC adds: [Try developing the love interest independent of the protagonist. Ideally, I think, a romance should develop the main character rather than just give him a shiny trophy to vie for. For example, Clark's pursuit of Lois Lane is the closest to human that he gets.]
How can I make an interesting character who has some aspects of the stereotypical strong-and-silent guy, but not have him be cut from the same cloth as all the others out there?
One way is to give him an interesting mental trait or two. Typically, a strong and silent character doesn’t have very much happening upstairs… I’d recommend something unexpected like curiosity, idealism, or maybe a fondness of numbers. More conventionally, you could add a sense of duty, but duty to his family or country are probably overdone (try religion, friends, employers, etc.)
Okay, I have two characters that I haven’t formally introduced you to.
First is Ms. Corpse, Aadrello’s first partner. She was horribly neglected as a child, which seriously damaged her mind. Her secretly spiteful parents eventually sent her off to be an experiment. While in experimentation, her naturally-brown hair was ripped from her head. The chemicals used on her caused her hair to grow back blood-red. She also gained the ability to tolerate pain and heal from minor pain.
An accident in another section of the facility caused the building to explode, allowing her to escape. She does not know who found her remains and stitched them together but that is why she has stitches throughout her body. Physically alive but still mentally ruined, she learns of her ability to control her hair and trains it. She wanders the galaxy searching for her parents and brother, all of whom she still loves. (Remember, she’s psycho). Although she is psychotic, she isn’t dangerous and can still think lucidly. But her personality is somber and quiet. She is depressed and cries often. After finding Aadrello stranded on a remote planet, she instantly develops a crush on him and they travel together to Emeralice to consult the royal family about the Cyborn Moon.
Her two main positive characteristics are that she’s endearing and attractive. Her negative characteristic is that she’s withdrawn.
Aadrello’s second partner is Alzavier Jornai “Emerald” Gaddis Emera. That’s a long name, I know, but he goes by Jornai. Born into a royal family, he’s a prince destined to rule some day. His training is tough and strict, in fields like swordsmanship (the only subject he liked), musical instruments, languages, etiquette, etc. Jornai never liked that lifestyle and dreamed of traveleing the galaxy and fighting. During his training, Jornai developed his emerald abilities and heightened his senses and speed. He is quickly the best in the Emeralice Underground Fight Ring until he is exposed and punished. He finally snaps and storms from the castle, fleeing to an island in the Ocean of Emeralice. There he continues to train until he encounters Aadrello and Irabella who crash-landed on the island. He takes them to the capital (his home) where he is confronted and fights his older brother as Aadrello and Irabella fight the Emerian Guard. Not long into the fight, the Cyborn send three henchwomen to fight the newly formed trio. After winning, the the three decide to travel together. Jornai leaves his planet on uneasy terms with his family. The trio now travel in his ship, the Starskimmer.
His three main characteristics are intelligent/wise, virtuous, and (negative) obnoxious.
I think that Jornai sounds very likable and his traits seem like they are pretty deep (ie wisdom vs. something more superficial like attractiveness and virtue vs. endearingness). That depth should make it easier to spin a story out of them.
My main concern with Jornai is that the rebellious-prince (or princess) is a type of character that’s been used a lot. For example, the protagonist of Talking With Dragons and Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin are both rebellious royalty.
I have a few issues with Ms. Corpse. Your two positive adjectives for her are endearing and attractive. Endearing is very similar to being loveable. In what way is this character loveable? I really didn’t get that vibe from her. (Ahem: you describe her as “psychotic,” “mentally ruined,” “often depressed” and a victim of hallucinogenic torture).
Are you very attached to her being depressed? If you cut the depression and left her as a psychotic, she could be a Sylar-esque fan favorite—Heroes fans love the enthusiastic-and-psychotic Sylar because he’s the only one on the show with any sense of flair. Alternatively, I think you could make her just depressed and cut out the emoish torture angle, a la Raven from Teen Titans. Raven isn’t a great character, but she’s passable. However, I suspect that including both the torture angle and the psychotic/shattered-torture-victim angle will make Ms. Corpse very hard to like.
I have strong reservations about “attractive” as her second positive trait. You could probably pick out a trait that’s more interesting, something that suggests something meaningful about her. For a character that has really deep flaws, I’d recommend only using powerful positive traits.
For example, one of our heroes is a mutant alligator that is grossly paranoid and violent. We tried to soften those hard edges by having his two defining positive traits be how friendly and unselfish/generous he is. I expect readers will balk a little about his traits that are really hard to like (his paranoia and violence) but I suspect that they’ll see he is pretty friendly and come to like him anyway. In contrast, Ms. Corpse’s quiet nature will probably contribute to the problem. We probably won’t see very her very often socializing in a friendly, likeable manner.
I think these two characters– particularly M.C.– might be Mary Sues. Earlier today, The ReTARDISed Whovian suggested this link for a Mary Sue test. I also like this test.
I went through the second of these tests and here’s an itemized list of the Mary Sue symptoms that I think each character has.
Mz. Corpse
Emerald also has quite a few, but not as many.
Adding onto B. Mac’s note about Agent Orange’s friendliness… The Hellboy movie tried to make Hellboy more likable by giving him a soft spot for kittens.
Okay, thanks! He actually does have a thing for invention. He makes two or three little gizmos that come in handy for his buddies, like one he calls the Micker. It’s a tiny microphone that is secured to the inside of the cheek with a small sticker (hence the portmanteau between microphone and sticker). It has a pattern similar to the interior of the cheek so it can’t be spotted at first glance. It’s used for communication between them. It has an activation code (so that they aren’t heard when they sing into their hairbrushes, ha ha) and it’s paired with the Stickear, a similar device placed in the ear to receive the messages.
Of course, he didn’t make these overnight. He has a conversation at one point, where he introduces them as the Stickear 4000 and the Micker 4507. He says it’s because “It took me three years and 4500 tries to invent one which didn’t almost electrocute me every time I tested it”. He’s no Violet Baudelaire. He would be hopeless in a rush to invent.
He doesn’t use a lot of science talk in conversation; it’s rare that he ever explains his devices to the others. A conversation is rare in itself, he only says a couple of sentences at a time. But he is fascinated by the latest technology, so much so that he could stand in an appliances section for hours on end.
What do you think?
“It took me three years and 4500 tries to invent one which didn’t almost electrocute me every time I tested it.” Haha. That’s a riot.
I think technological curiosity is a very interesting twist on strong-and-silent. In fact, except for a few possible problems with the gadgets themselves, I can’t even think of any likely trouble spots.
Well, I didn’t plan on making her anti-social, she’s the type to bottle it up. And it’s not as though she never talks and sits in the back, she is still a presence. And she is loveable, she’s not a freakshow. She is so becuase although she been through so much pain she still wants to help and know people, she is still a good person. I think the reader will like this. I may be able to tweak Jornai to make him a little less cliche, maybe I’ll make him the illegitimate child who is kept a secret, but lives as a servant in the Emera Castle, that way he is still a rightful prince but he’s different. And they are not Mary Sues, if anything Aadrello is my Mary Sue. I need to keep her past that’s her origin story but I guess I can make her not depressed.
I can change her attractive to outgoing to show that she’s still a person (well alien person).
Wow, I said “she” alot
Cadet Davis may have mixed up antisocial with asocial. Someone antisocial is actively opposed to society (usually in some violent way), but someone who’s asocial is merely withdrawn. I think that this character is asocial but not really antisocial.
Having said that, this character feels a little bit creepy. In your description, you explained that she still loves her wildly abusive parents with the addendum that “Remember, she’s psycho.” Still loving her parents after that may raise two sets of problems. 1: it makes it seem like her grasp on reality is tenuous. 2: it feels like you’re treating the character’s condition a little bit, uhh, glibly. It’s not uncommon for the abused to sympathize with their abusers (like battered person syndrome and Stockholm syndrome), but those are deadly serious psychological conditions. They probably deserve a little bit more depth and sympathy than “she’s psycho.” I think readers will appreciate that.
Okay, I’m into psychopathology I think I can find something to give her. Or, I can just change her “lifequest” to something else like finding the organization that experimented on her, or the person that put her together and make it less confusing and more serious.
I cracked up when you wrote “she’s psycho”.
You cracked up when I quoted you saying “she’s psycho”? Uhh… why? Look, I think you and the audience might be on different pages here. I don’t think that many of your readers will laugh a lot about mental disorders or trauma. Sensitivity concerns aside, those elements are about as unfunny as genocide. In contrast, I suspect the mental disorder and trauma will give this story an overwhelmingly bleak tone.
I was also thinking of, either, giving her another personality that is confident, kind of sexually charged, and outspoken (sort of like giving her a black girl twist, I’m not racist) OR just completely changing her personality to the one stated, but giving her mood swings instead of personality shifts.
Okay, geez-louise it was just an opinion it wasn’t the story that was funny it was the fact the you made it sound like I wasn’t thinking, which is funny. I wouldn’t laugh at you guys, especially if you’re trying to help me, I love you guys*tears up*.
I’ll just change her origin story and personality, That why she can be a cool new person and no one will throw the comic away and say “The author is so insensitive to Mz. Corpse”
I’ll post her new story soon.
Ok, I’ve got it I’m keeping the story of her parents and the experimentation and all that but instead of making her go insane, it made her stronger. Instead of being sad, withdrawn, and somber, she will be dominant, feisty, and independent. By changing this I think I can add story sections where her tough exterior is cracked, possibly by her crush on Aadrello or a possibility of the group breaking up.
I think this is much easier to understand and explains her personality better.
Oh, and what would be a good title for Sketch/Aadrello’s abilities, if you can recall, he can summon anything he has drawn, as long as it doesn’t consume too much energy and he has emotional attachment to it. I’m thinking “Animation” as the name.
how about “Psychic Pictoanimation”?
I like animation. I also think that the personality change for Mz. Corpse will help.
If it makes you feel better, reviewers frequently complain about Courtney. He’s not black enough and/or too black, and everyone thinks he’s not a great character.
Lash is black? I didn’t know haha. So what, forget what dumb reviewers think, people say I don’t act black enough to be black. That’s how they casted me out of the race along time ago and now wonder why I dress, act, and listen to the music that I do today.
You have to love androgenous names! haha.
I think he’s an interesting character, I just don’t know much about him. But then again I’ve only read aboout 2 and a third chapters of the story
Honestly, what do you think of my three main characters. Aadrello has depth, I think he a perfect alien bohemian, but does Jornai need more depth. I love Mz. Corpse’s harsh origin and I think her revamped personality fits well with her past. Do you think my three characters mesh well, let me give you an idea of how they connect to one another.
Aadrello is extremely close to Irabella, but thinks that Jornai and Irabella like each other.
Aadrello is inadvertently oblivious to Irabella’s hints of her crush on him.
Irabella has a crush on Aadrello, but covers with her tough exterior.
Jornai and Aadrello often pick on each other and like to fight each other, but all in all they are close firends.
Jornai and Irabella are mutually close friends and he can see through her tough exterior into her liking of Aadrello.
Jornai and Aadrellos relationship is a best of both worlds friendship. Jornai being from a higher status as compared to Aadrello’s low status. Jornai sometime mocks Aadrello’s former standard of living
Irabella often confides in both Aadrello and Jornai about her dark past, but all three have a troubled past.
Aadrello is a city boy, Irabella enjoys silence and desolence, and Jornai loves the finer things.
Jornai is the smartest having a full proper education, Aadrello is street-smart, and Irabella is self-taught but intelligent.
Aadrello is most curious and often drags his partners into trouble.
Aadrello is of an extinct aquatic race, The Akarians, he has large black eyes and gills on his face and can learn to sprout an aquatic tail, but he doesn’t learn this until later.
Aadrello lived with his grandfather before he died, (there is a secret behind his parents, don’t worry they’re not superspies, get it?)
Irabella is a Hamune, closely resembling humans except for their long, thin wispy ears.
Jornai is an Emerian, also resembling humans but with elfish ears, orangish spotted skin and a third eye on their forehead (Jornai covers his with hair)
What do you thing of them as well as their relationships and race?
Honestly? I’m not feeling it. I get the impression that something is missing.
For example, you said that Aadrello is an alien bohemian. OK, but what does being an alien have to do with bohemian? How will either enhance the other?
We’ve already written pretty extensively about Ms. Corpse. To recap, the potential problem is that the character will be hard to like/sympathize with/relate to. Even beyond her origin story, she names herself Ms. Corpse. It feels kind of melodramatic.
The names of the characters seem ehh. The most low-key of the three main names is Jornai. As a sort of band-aid, I’d recommend changing Aadrello to Adrello and Mz. Corpse to Ms. Corpse.
“Aadrello is extremely close to Irabella, but thinks that Jornai and Irabella like each other. Aadrello is inadvertently oblivious to Irabella’s hints of her crush on him.” This might be more dramatic if the obstacle to them having a happy romance were greater than Aadrello realizing that she was in love with him the whole time. For example, if there is some external obstacle like some disagreement between the two, or if the third member of the love triangle (Jornai) were actually involved in a competitive way.
“Irabella has a crush on Aadrello, but covers with her tough exterior.” Instinct suggests to me that this doesn’t have a ton of dramatic potential. The drama will unravel as soon as Aadrello figures out that there’s really nothing between them.
“Jornai and Aadrello often pick on each other and like to fight each other, but all in all they are close friends.” This has potential.
“Jornai and Irabella are mutually close friends and he can see through her tough exterior into her liking of Aadrello.” OK, so what? I don’t think there’s enough going on here that you could make an interesting scene between just J and I. As you develop their relation, it may help to go back to their character traits and the plot for inspiration.
“Irabella often confides in both Aadrello and Jornai about her dark past, but all three have a troubled past.” So what? Why will readers care about what she confides to whom?
“Aadrello is a city boy, Irabella enjoys silence and desolence, and Jornai loves the finer things.” Aadrello seems like the most relatable of the three characters. I like Jornai’s appreciation for material things as well. That feels like an interesting twist.
Curiosity is a strong trait. I think it will serve you and your plot well.
Aadrello is apparently the last member of an extinct race that is essentially human. First, being the last member of an otherwise extinct race is kind of cheesy. It’s also a sign of being a Mary Sue– see 71-I here.
“There is a secret behind his parents, don’t worry they’re not superspies, get it?” I think the story of Peter Parker and his superspy parents might help you here. Peter Parker was unquestionably most compelling when he was the remotely relatable guy-next-door. He goes to school, struggles with his boss, struggles to win the girl of his dreams, etc. So when the writers reveal that his parents are superspies, it feels like the writers have taken The Guy Next Door and stabbed him in the back. It doesn’t feel right that someone so normal could have something that exotic/strange/cheesy/whatever lurking in his family history.
Which brings me to Aadrello. He’s most relatable as a graffiti artist. The farther you move away from that, the less compelling he gets. So when you plan for him to be the last member of another species and to have parents that are doing something secret, I fear for the worst. As an example of a hero that accomplished something similar to what you’re trying to do, I’d recommend Luke Skywalker or Neo. Both move away from a pretty relatable background very quickly and never look back. What I think Luke and Neo have, that Aadrello lacks, is an appeal independent of relatability.
I’d really recommend just making Irabella human, too.
I’m sorry, but you just don’t get it. You talk as though EVERY aspect of EVERY relationship will be thrown in the readers face, alot of this is an undertone. I won’t make Irabella human. I think they are plenty relatable, the only difference is a change in skin color, at least for the main characters. I’ve said this before, the main characters are meant to be a relatable base, because there are going to be far stranger races, I want to different I don’t want humans. Sure, people may say “Irabella seems/looks like a human” but I don’t think that will make them discard the novel or comic. I posted above that I changed Mz. Corpse’s personality to be better relatable. I’ll change Aadrello to Adriello. And I will alter the love triangle to make it mor dramatic. And fine Adriello won’t be the last of his race, I’ll just have him think that until he goes to his home planet. I’m not sure how but I will advance I and A’s relationship. I will give Irabella and Jornai a general dislike of each other, will that work for ya? Is everything a symptom of Mary Sue? it seems like it. And even if they do seem Mary Sueish, they will still have dramatic downfalls and are wrong sometimes. I want to keep the team sort of rag-tagish, like they could disband at any second, at least at the beginning of the formation. I honestly don’t think the Z in Mz. Corpse is that bad.
I apologize if this comes off a little irate.
“I’m sorry, but you just don’t get it.”
On our novelist’s exam, this is what we have for #80:
That’s how “you just don’t get it” came across to me.
It’s fully possible that my observations are inapplicable or misguided for whatever reason. There are surely better ways to argue for your work than to blame me for not “getting it.”
To recap, I have this advice for you. Take our comments for what they’re worth, adjust as you deem fit, and move on. There’s no reason to get irate and, if our comments are making you irate, then I’d suggest that you find someone else to review your work.
Seriously guys, lets not get divisive.
That’s very sound advice. Now where were you when it seemed like a good idea to put $50 on the election?
(Although to be fair, I did end up ahead on the election after you count the state-by-state bets).
Ragged Boy, it’s just advice. It’s not criticism or orders to change anything. Everyone means well, and if you ask me, every answer to every question that I ask is getting me a step closer to being published.
Now, let’s not have any fights.
Question: would it be better for Amorelia to be a crown princess (next in line), or for her to actually be in charge? If she actually has power I think her character would be stronger and perhaps more interesting. It also means that her relationship with Alex would create more scandal.
Thoughts?
That’s a good question. I’d lean towards saying the crown princess option is better, because then she faces a greater obstacle (the approval of her parents and maybe the prospect of being moved down in the line of succession). In contrast, if she’s already in charge then she’s not really accountable to anyone, I feel. People might say nasty things about her but it’s not quite the same as something like “sorry, daughter, but because of your personal choices I couldn’t trust you to run the country.”
Also, I suspect that her ability to interest readers hinges on her personality traits (like being smart and assertive) rather than her royal authority. However, I think her personality is interesting, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
Is it okay if Mithro and Caesar would have wings like an angel? There clothes would be cloaks. Mithro is all white, while Caesar is half black and white cloak with tribal markings in the middle. Also his right wing is colored white while his right wing is colored black.
I just had an idea for another story, but I haven’t got it fleshed out yet. I might write it as a manga or comic book rather than a novel, but I thought of it five minutes ago so nothing is definite. Haha.
I’ve got my MC worked out: a teacher at a public school who is also a secret agent. By day he deals with misbehaving students, by night he assassinates enemy spies. I’ve made him fresh out of uni, so he has a difficult time controlling his students even though he can put a bullet in a guy’s head and escape undetected.
“Jane, stop throwing things across the class!”
“What are you gonna do, gimme another detention? I didn’t go to the last five!”
(Thinking) “Or I could- no, no, I can’t kill her.”
I’ve tweaked it a little. He is still a secret agent, but his activities are restricted to London. He kills enemy agents as well as people who supply them or have ties to them. People selling weapons or helping them get around the world to do their various evil activities are all going to face his wrath.
So, all-around he is a 24 year old public high school history teacher with hard-to-control students, which makes him frustrated. After all, he can’t just pull his hidden gun and kill them all, so he has to handle them without resorting to murder. I figure that this will be a good source of humour, such as mentioning how “his hand twitched towards the concealed knife in the small of his back, but he pulled away at the last second. He couldn’t kill Flyn, no matter how annoying his interruptions were”.
He has a second job after hours and on weekends, killing or kidnapping key players from enemy organizations. He is paid handsome sums for his work, but avoids flashing large amounts of cash because his “cover” job doesn’t pay that highly.
He’s skilled with firearms and knives, but is still learning to use blunt objects and garrotes. He’s not meant to be highly likeable, but he’s not meant to be evil either. His organization doesn’t want to take over the world, but they don’t want anyone else to. That’s why they send him to kill people.
Hmm. I like the character concept, but I think you’d need a slightly better explanation for why a secret agent becomes a teacher for his cover. It’s an unusual cover because so many people might notice if he had to miss a few days to do some spywork or started getting strange wounds. Hopefully the teaching job would be actually related to his mission rather than just a random cover. Here are some of the ones I just whipped up.
–He’s investigating a new drug that is being marketed to high-schoolers.
–He’s investigating a more exotic crime. For example, several students at this high school have gone missing over the past few weeks and no one knows why.
–He’s actually a bodyguard for one of his students. (The student hates having bodyguards, so his parents need someone undercover who can be in the room with him at all times).
–You could adapt the character from a spy-as-teacher to a spy-as-student. (The character would need an extraordinarily youthful face to pose as a high schooler, but I know a few twenty-somethings that could pull it off). That would let him do an undercover investigation of street gangs, etc.
You guys are going to see a little less of me now. I just moved and we’re without cable and worse, without internets. WWWWWHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!! I only have access to internet at school. See, now I won’t get to read stuff. TRW has some secret agent thing going and I can’t even read it. I’m wearing flip-flops to school, breaking racial stereotypes BAM!!
I finally continued production on my comic. I finished my first page and did three pages. Adrian is about to be saved by Jimelly.
Well, at least your school offers internet access. It’s not quite as convenient as home access, but it works.
As for the comic, that sounds good. I’d recommend making sure that the hero of the comic is the main doer as much as possible. It might seem a bit unsatisfying if the main hero needs someone else to save him. Sometimes it works, though, particularly if the hero does most of the work. For example, I vaguely remember you mentioning that Adrian outruns a group of aliens and then Jimelly steps in at the end. In that case, Jimelly would have a role in Adrian getting out of trouble, but Adrian would be the main doer.
Yeah that’s the part. Oh, man emotional day. Everyone was spilling their guts, I couldn’t help but crack my nonchalant exterior and pour out some true emotional artistry.
So, now I still have 12+ pages for Adrian to transition into Showtime and get to the main conflict.
Thanks! I like the first three, but I’ll probably use the second one. That way, he can investigate while doing side missions such as killing Herman Worcester, his first victim of the book. Herman is transporting weapons in through his shipping containers, and then selling them to the enemy groups.
Perhaps the students are disappearing because an organization is running medical tests of some sort? Hormone harvesting or experimenting with cell mutation on their blood. Being teenagers, they’ll have more hormones in their blood than adults, so they’d be better for the tests. I don’t need to think that much about it though, because I’m focusing on Isaac at the moment. I’ll just write out a little outline and leave it in my idea file.
I’ve done a bit of the first chapter, where it talks about how he loves doing the missions, outsmarting security and guard dogs, and then feeling the weight of the cash in his hand. I’ll mention at the start of the second one how he gets in his car, and leave the reader to assume he’s going to kill again. But he’ll walk into a class and put his laptop down before greeting the students, who are less than enthusiastic about another day of school.
This website is blocked at my school. Stupid teachers. When we begin the school year I’ll try to explain the educational value and see if I can get them to unblock it, but I’ll need a pretty good argument. This website could be all about maths and they’d still want me to pull a million reasons out of my hat.
Hmm, I think it’s too bad that your school blocks our website. If you’d like to complain to someone, here are a few reasons they might find persuasive.
1. We’re an educational website for young adults interested in writing careers. Many of the professional habits we encourage are extremely helpful in and out of a classroom. (Grammar, time-management, etc).
2. We’re academically serious. Several teachers (including two Australians) have used our articles in the classroom.
3. A lot of schools allow their students to chat online with penpals because it helps broaden their minds and exposes them to new kinds of people. We’re kind of like American penpals, but with a vocational twist.
4. Our site is generally appropriate for a young audience. We’re rated PG for mild language. We quickly edit or delete any comments that are not fit for a general audience.
5. We’re effective!
Quick question guys!
Does this sound like a good character?
A teenage boy who can absorb and convert energy, but sometimes he looses control of his power and causes serious damage to anything near by. For example, when he tries to stop a nuclear bomb from exploding in its hangar, he accidentally absorbs the energy from everyone within half a mile and puts them all in comas.
I don’t think i would have him as the main character. I’ve already got a half decent group of main characters. i just thought he would be an interesting addition to the group.
I’m not worried about the power– it sound workable– but powers are only a small sliver of the character. The personality, background and voice are significantly more important.
Uh, hey B. Mac. My first posting on this site. I was curious of your opinion on one of the main characters I was going for with a universe I’ve been developing. When I first started using the prototype of the character, I admit it was sort of a Gary Stu. Comic Book fan gains superpowers, attempts to be a costumed hero. Still kind of the same basis for the character, but I like to think since the revisions I’ve kind of moved away from that aspect.
The main basis for the character is this guy has grown up in a world with superheroes… more or less. He’s one of those guys that’s grew up on this world of fiction that made things seem like they could be so much better in the real world which is one of the drives that pushes him.
He’s so indocrinated in this concept of the Mask and what it represents that he’s even written a paper or two for school comparing the Boston tea party to being the start of the american masked hero. A bunch of people who took on a mask for anonymity to right an injustice. Same paper compares various forms of real life masks to this, including SWAT team helmets.
Eventually he’s caught in an accident at his father’s workplace and thrown into a coma. When he awakens, he’s found his senses, strength, and agility have increased. In a lot of ways, it seems like he’s gained the powers of his favorite heroes. He looks around at the heroes that the town has had and how bad their lives are at this point. One of the most powerful heroes of the city lives as a crazed hobo and others are lost in their own personal problems. He decides this is something he can help to change as a hero himself. Give the town it’s own Cap or Superman to look to. Not in the popularity, but someone who stands there and openly asks ‘what can I do to help?’
Then he gets shot and almost dies on his first night. Wakes up the next morning thinking it was all a dream, the wound is gone… until he turns to the local news. There’s a report of a costumed street-walker getting shot while trying to save someone.
Over time he kind of realizes that the accident that gave him his powers really couldn’t have given him the powers he had, at least not in the normal sense. He’s kind of naive about these things because of his heritage and the influence the fiction has on him, but he’s an ok guy.
If anything, he does have moments where he fails, where he lashes out. The comics have hindered him in how hard his goals are, to help the last generation of heroes lives be a little easier, heck… even to have a good old fashioned team-up. But it’s something he sticks by no matter how painful it is to him because he sees it as the ‘greater good’.
Oh, and I know I should have mentioned this, but after reading another article… it will be easily clear to the audience at the accident that something else is up.
Disintegrations with surprise reconstitutions usually don’t turn people into that type of hero, lol.
Welcome, Toasty!
I really like the idea of tying in the mask to justice (the Boston tea party, SWAT teams, Justice wearing a blindfold, etc). If you were inclined to, you could also tie the idea of supervillain masks to injustice (KKK hoods, ski masks, gang hoodies, etc).
…
What’s the development arc for this character? How does he change over the course of the story? The most obvious (read: least inspired) answer is that he goes from a naive idealist to a hardened man that is forced to make rough decisions or everybody suffers. For example, I think that Spiderman, Batman and John Connor (in Terminator 2) have a similar development arc. Peter Parker acts in a petty, childish way by failing to stop the robber and it gets his uncle killed. Batman starts his story as an innocent child and that ends as soon as his parents get murdered. At the start of T2, teenaged John thinks that his mother’s apocalyptic predictions are insane rantings and is forced to confront the fact that there really ARE homicidal robots trying to kill everybody. Thinking back to classical history, Cincinnatus was a farmer that was often idealized for his willingness to lead Rome as a dictator in its hour of need and his resignation as soon as he was no longer needed. (In particular, George Washington cited him when explaining his decision to step down after two terms as US President).
So there are a lot of different ways to execute that sort of development arc. If I were applying it to your character, the problem might be that the character is TOO eager to become a superhero and bites off more than he can chew. Someone gets hurt or killed and he needs to learn how to identify his limits. Etc.
Alternately, you could try confident –> shaken, optimistic –> pessimistic, ineffective –> competent, ignorant –> aware, innocent –> evil (an unhappy ending, usually), etc.
Also, what sort of flaws is this character working with? I can think of a few, based on the kid-becoming-superhero angle, but more importantly I’d like to know what YOU think of as a personality flaw. Which decisions can you see this character making that readers might disagree with?
Yeah, the too eager part plays into one of the storylines I had planned. : ) One of them involves him going after this group of killers that turn out to be part of this organ harvesting cult that uses the remains and necromancy to make their own ‘army’ of junk weapon wielding ‘frankenstein ninjas’. His sister gets captured and killed by the cult by the time he finds their lair, but isn’t harvested yet….
Ally (prototype name, definitely goin to change it) ends up freaking out about it and threatening the leader, because he’s also seen other people walking around the facility he’s known to be dead but seem normal. So he knows he can bring back his sister and the other person there.
Leader’s forced to bring them back, but what Ally realizes later is all those people walking around are also animated by etheral spirits. His sister’s been bonded with a volcano elemental and the other guy’s been bonded with a demon. Even worse, the leader tried to activate and enhance one of the junk ninjas with his magic to kill him while ally’s being happy about his sister being alive. He catches it out of the corner of his eye and reacts instinctively… and ends up killing the guy before he can fix anything.
The enhancing magic ends up retaining sentience to the junk ninja girl. The guy and his sister are normal, for the most part, until his sister’s spirit starts causing havoc from time to time in her body. Guy doesn’t act like a demon, but he’s still got the churches setting him aflame problem and this general feeling he’s going to be going to hell regardless. Junk Ninja girl’s got nowhere to go.
I think his biggest character flaw is he wants all too much to help things be like the comics, the good comics he remembers. The epic team ups and the idea that everything can be fixed in the end to some extent. To the point he actually tries to befriend some of the villians in an attempt to help them get better… even though they really need some professional help before he’ll do any good. XD
Though one of the main arcs for the first couple stories I think is the idea he really doesn’t understand how his powers work. He’s constantly learning his weaknesses and limits because he’s on his own with comic book and general high school science. It’s ironic because if he ever got an ‘epic team-up’ going on with a more science orientated hero, he could learn a lot about how he works. It was something a friend suggested when I mentioned I wanted to revise it into something more…
Heck, one possible storyline I came up with was when he figured out how to make constructs… he tries to make a ‘backup’ of his secret identity that works way too well. Thing starts getting paranoid he’s going to ‘shut him off’ when he’s done with whatever thing he’s investigating is over, starts him on a high speed chase…. with himself.
Frankenstein’s ninjas… YES.
(However, could I suggest calling them something other than “junk ninjas?”
Haha, yeah… I’ll figure out something better then junk ninjas
it’s just the term I thought at the time because they’re basically kitbashing together weaponry.
It’s funny in a way because I consider that girl the cute one of the series, lol.
As seen here.
http://py-primal.deviantart.com/art/More-New-Net-Stuff-14961751
What do y’all think of these characters?
Daniel Mathais Preston- MC. Loving/passionate, determined, short tempered, dosent trust people easily. Has an alter-ego. Eventually gets together with Zeyta and is a rival/enemy of Markus. Espiel’s student. Nature powers. Neutral good.
Mundane- Daniel’s alter-ego. He is angry at the world and The Superiors specifically. Fire powers. Lawful evil.
Zeyta- Secondary MC. Intelligent, creative,strongwilled, stubborn, and somewhat indecisive. At the beginning of the novel she is with Markus but leaves him for Daniel. Is forced to choose between the two men. Water powers.
Markus- Secondary MC. Perservering/patient, manipulative. Elven philosopher. at the beginning of the novel he is Zeyta’s boyfriend. he is devastated when she leaves him for Daniel, resulting in a face heel turn (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FaceHeelTurn). Air/mind powers. Lawful neutral-> neutral evil.
These are only basic profies which is why they are written in short choppy sentences. I can provide more info if you need it.
Hello, Jedi! I have a few thoughts and suggestions…
–I like Daniel’s flaws, especially the trust issues. I think it’d be pretty easy to work them into the plot in a dramatic fashion.
–Does Mundane affect the Daniel/Zeyta/Markus triangle? (For example, Peter’s secret identity in the Spiderman movies complicated the Peter/Mary Jane/Harry relationship–killing the father of your best friend and on-and-off romantic rival will do that to you).
–I think Zeyta’s flaws could be a bit stronger/more noticeable.
–Could I recommend getting rid of the D&D-style alignment system? I don’t think it gives your characters enough credit.
Thanks for the feedback.
“–Does Mundane affect the Daniel/Zeyta/Markus triangle? (For example, Peter’s secret identity in the Spiderman movies complicated the Peter/Mary Jane/Harry relationship–killing the father of your best friend and on-and-off romantic rival will do that to you).
Mundane is “created” by a supevillian who is possessing daniels body. The thing is Daniel is unaware of this for quite a while. When he does finnally figures out that he is really the one who had done the heinous crimes that had been commited recently, he responds to this by fleeing so that he can’t hurt the few people he’s come to care about. this forces Zeyta to choose between a person she barely knows and has seemingly run away during a time of great need, who she got bad first impressions of and a guy shes know for a long time and is trying to help find solutions to the problem.
“–I think Zeyta’s flaws could be a bit stronger/more noticeable.”
What sort of flaws would you suggest adding?
“–Could I recommend getting rid of the D&D-style alignment system? I don’t think it gives your characters enough credit.”
I’ll do away with it and pretend that it never existed.
Ah, okay. That explanation of Mundane sounds more interesting than what I was thinking (that it was just another secret identity he took on to protect himself or his loved ones). I think it could tie in neatly with his trust issues, too. (He can’t even trust his own memories).
Finally, if he tries to abandon her for her own safety, she might be too stubborn to call it off even though that probably would be safer for her. (However, for this to be a notable choice, you’d probably have to make the danger credible–if it’s not dangerous to stay with him, then her decision will probably not be as exciting).
Okay, for Zeyta’s flaws, so far you have her as stubborn and somewhat indecisive. In the context of your plot, could you use either to have her make a big mistake or do something the audience wouldn’t approve of? Indecisiveness would strike me as a more natural flaw for an inept leader character. I could sort of see stubbornness working here, but it doesn’t seem to mesh well with indecisiveness. (Isn’t the problem with stubbornness that the person is TOO attached to his decisions? That doesn’t seem consistent with a waffler). You know your story better than I do, of course, but one possible mistake that comes to mind would be that a stubborn lover might be too blind to the issues with Markus to see that Daniel is the guy that’s right for her, or something like that. Alternately, stubbornness might lead her the wrong way if she tries to find out who Mundane is. It couldn’t possibly be Daniel! He’s such a sweet, harmless guy.
In the context of a romance, an indecisive lover might have commitment issues. Maybe some trust issues of her own that would jeopardize her ability to have a happy romance. (Also, that’d probably raise an interesting obstacle for her suitors).
Looking over the plot, I have to ask: have you decided whether the story is a fantasy or superhero novel yet? I may be a little biased in favor of the latter, but I can name a dozen good fantasy novels in five minutes but maybe one average superhero novel.
As to Zeyta’s flaws, maybe make her overly tactical. Perhaps she could spend hours creating a perfect strategy, but when the time came to finally act on it she’d still be planning.
Just because of the whole anti-personality powers (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PersonalityPowers) thing that would come up I’d advise against making her impulsive/hotheaded, which is my first instinct (It appears that female hotheads for me this year are like how broody antiheroes were a few years back. These things go in and out of style mentally for me… *counts on fingers* Meg of HTSTW, Elle of TAWNBT, Elaine of Twisted Fantasy, Ari of Between Light And Darkness…I have issues).
The D&D system is fun to use on people you know. Let’s see, I’m a Chaotic Neutral, a Lawful Evil is a good friend of mine, and I know far too many Stupid Good people…
- Wings
Good advice on character building here, I’ve got one that I’d like to bring up that I’m trying to get a handle on for a second project (I know, curse of the frequent starter). This one is the main character for a superhero story (not sure of the length, but a text rather than a comic).
Using the format discussed, I’d say the defining traits are: Savvy (which in this case refers to a sort of worldliness and experience that leads to easy understanding), a sense of Justice (believes in fairness, and believes it’s worth fighting to uphold the ideal), and Discontent (which will form the basis for his taking unnecessary risks and sometimes choosing poorly)
So from these, I would describe him in this manner, incorporating the spare backstory I have in mind:
Several years after graduating with an as-of-yet useless liberal arts degree, he finds that his life still consists of long lonely nights working his menial job in the movie theater. While it was fun and appropriate when he was studying, but he can’t help feeling trapped and that he should be doing more (not the standard “I’m meant for greater things” line, more like he feels guilty that he hasn’t made more of himself). He is older than a lot of his friends, who are mainly from work, and the only thing he shares in common with them is his passion for movies-which is sometimes the only thing that he feels comfortable talking about. This maturity (relative to his peers, not so much in general) leads him to see things in a very realist manner, sometimes even cynically. This mild tendency towards pessimism also stems from his innate sense of fairness, which feels violated by his lack of achievement relative to what he feels he should be doing and therefore he is compelled to “do something”, even when he’s not sure what to do. Gaining his powers will be the impetus for this drive that makes him want to get out there and smite evil.
Background on his abilities and their use:
The character is a superhero, or at least wants to be. He gets his chance when he finds upon recovering from a massive migrane blackout that he is now incredibly strong and tough, and can fly. (basic superman package) His powers are psychic in nature, as they all stem from applications of Telekenisis (he enhances his lifting capacity and attack power and lifts himself to fly, and projects an invisible forcefield to provide his invulerabliity) He is unaware of the nature of his powers at first, having been more accustomed to “comic book style” powers from his obsession with movies, (little or no rational explanation), and when he acts on these assumptions he makes mistakes and gets hurt. (ie, lack of concentration could cause him to drop something very heavy, or even fall from the sky if he’s not careful) He also has the misconception that problems superheroes face can all be solved with violence or application of the correct ability, which will lead to trouble. I thought it might be interesting to have mental powers as the basis for a character who sees every problem as a nail because he has a hammer, since that’s usually behavior reserved for physically oriented characters.
Those are the bones, hopefully I can come up with some more compelling flesh for them. The villain I have in mind I came up with years ago, so he’s much more compelling, I need the hero to match-which will take some work, no doubt.
Any comments, ideas, or verbal abuse?
@ B. Mac
i see where yourcoming from. I,m gonna try to see what sort of mistakes i couldIhave her make.
“Alternately, stubbornness might lead her the wrong way if she tries to find out who Mundane is. It couldn’t possibly be Daniel! He’s such a sweet, harmless guy.”
There’s accually a scene I have in which he tells her and well she’s shocked to sy the least.
@ Wings
I think its gonna be a superhero fantasy. this way its easier to explain certain things, like how Daniel’s appearance changes when he changes into Mundane.
On a somewhat unrelated note, i like this flaw. I could go somewhere with this.
What do you think about Markus? Should i keep him an elf or make him human? I have one fantastic race already, and i don’t know how i would develop elves to be non-cliche.
I think Markus could work as either an elf or human. However, making him human might make him a more credible romantic rival (he’d probably be closer to her in age/interests/life-span/etc)– although I suppose an elf would be better-equipped to compete in other ways, like that goofy poetry and preternatural gracefulness stuff. And the ability to gut a bear with a dagger and longbow is lost on no lady.
As for the nonclicheness, I think one way to solve that would be to give them an unexpected defining trait. For example, possibly manipulativeness– that would fit well with Markus, I think.
Hello, MnkyKing.
I like savviness and justice, but I think discontent could be developed a bit. It sounds like he’s embarrassed about how little he’s done with his life.
–There may be a discrepancy between him being savvy and him working at a menial job without major success. If he’s mature and savvy and college-educated, why hasn’t he done something more with himself, especially if he feels guilty about it? Maybe he’s very cautious about trying new things and/or feels intimidated by how competitive the market is for liberal arts majors.
–I think the misapplication of his movie knowledge has a lot of dramatic potential. If you’re aiming for humor, it could be hilarious.
–”He also has the misconception that problems superheroes face can all be solved with violence or application of the correct ability, which will lead to trouble.” I like this contrast between reality and what he expects.
–This generally sounds promising. I’d recommend getting started writing.
-”(he’d probably be closer to her in age/interests/life-span/etc)”
I was thinking aboput making elves age the same way as humans and just have a longer average lifespan. This would make it so that he would be about the same age as the others or maybe a bit older.
-”For example, possibly manipulativeness– that would fit well with Markus, I think.”
He’s accually very good at manipulating people. it comes of understanding them rather well (he is a philosopher
). Hes also quite clever.
Hi guys, I’m currently working on a project telling the story of a guy who starts an underground revolution in a future police state. Here’s a basic outline of where I’m having trouble:
The guy (Ryan Grant) has a charismatic and kind of furious personality, but is also quite tortured and reflective. Inspired by characters like Doctor Who, Captain Kirk, Indiana Jones, but with a kind of dark, angry (and anti-establishment) Tyler Durden edge, and with a costume. Through most of the first Act he’s a confused, reckless and violent individual, but with an exceeding intellect. He’s gonna do some travelling around America and some of the world to do some learning and soul-searching similar to the likes of Bruce Wayne, although actually inspired by Che Guevara. I’m also currently working in a way for him (and others) to possess telekinetic abilities, with Grant spending a lot of time honing them (is the whole government testing thing a little overused? I just think it would fit in with the whole “police state” idea). Again inspired by both Batman (Year One) and Guevara, he sets out to create an image or symbol rather than just being a man to stand up to a corrupt oppressive government. He tools himself up and fights, sometimes Guerilla-style, which gets him involved in the underground revolution teams.
But this is where I struggle. Grant does have a goal that he wants to achieve, it’s just not really in his character to make long-term plans. Plus, I’ve always been fascinated with the “accidental hero” situation, like Captain Kirk for example. I’m finding it hard to create a transition between returning to his home in California and preparing and executing his first battles to stumbling into the movement and eventually becoming the “face” of the revolution. I’ve never written an accidental hero, somehow managing to end up in situations he never dreamed of but succeeding neverthless, so I’m kind of struggling a little here.
You guys all seem to be pretty clued-up in writing areas, so I was just wondering if you could give me a little advice, maybe some ideas, and maybe a little feedback on my idea would be nice.
Thanks guys
=]
His first engagement with the government could be the same fight that leads him to joining the guerillas, and then you’ve just got to give him a motive or action that places him in the crosshairs of the government, at least for the duration of the fight. One option, since you like accidental heroes, is that he is looting an abandoned store for canned food, when soldiers find him and open fire, he could accidentally kill or disable two or three (things like shooting lighter fluid comes to mind, or sending an aisle divider crashing down on them might work) or purposely turn household things into weapons, if you’d like. Another option would be him stepping in help someone, only for the soldiers to turn violent. The guerillas might interpret the accidental option as intentional, or simply be impressed by the intentional murder, and recruit him, or help him after he is cornered, and forcefully take him to their HQ.
I sort of get the feeling that this character is more like V from V for Vendetta than Indiana Jones or Captain Kirk.
For the telekinetic abilities, maybe you could give him some origin besides government testing. I feel like it’s a bit too obvious/overdone. On the other hand, government testing might explain some of the other telekinetic guys, especially if the government tries to replicate whatever happened to Grant.
It sounds like Ryan does a lot of travel abroad. Why does the government let him go? (I figure a police state would have pretty tight limits on outside travel–they wouldn’t want the masses getting any outside ideas). Maybe he has some legitimate reason to do business abroad, or maybe he’s the sort of guy that goes anyway without permission.
Is there some turning point at which he decides to resist the government, or is he born/raised that way? What causes him to snap? (I notice that your side-cast doesn’t look too crowded at the moment, so maybe something happens to a friend or family member that causes him to turn on the government). Maybe something less obvious than a friend/family member getting randomly killed by the government or joining the rebellion and then getting killed. (For example, perhaps the friend/family is in the government and does something that is meant to help Ryan but actually horrifies him, like having a family thrown out onto the street so that Ryan has a nice place to live).
Lighting Man, thanks for some great ideas there. I definately like the looting the store for food one, it kind of suits a grittiness that i would like to incorporate. The scene itself I want to be big one seeing as it’s a pivital moment and a big change for his future, so thanks
B. Mac, after reading back what I wrote it pretty much sounds like the synopsis for V for Vendetta haha. V is another massive influence on this one. He’s kinda like Kirk in terms of personality: he’s reckless, charismatic and will happily resort to violence.
What I thought was maybe giving his telekinetic it’s own origin (which I’m also having a little trouble with) and, like you said, have the government attempt to duplicate his powers through genetic testing in order to create better soldiers.
As for the police state, it’s more of a “Police-world” if that doesn’t sound too 1984. A one-world corporatist government under the facade of unity but with a heavy focus on repression. War is virtually obselete, except for when maybe the government organizes random acts of terrorism to whip the populace of the world in line. Ryan is raised by his father who is a doctor and a leftist, but (at first), like most of the world, too fearful to really do anything about it as underground guerrilla groups are heavily repressed and are always dismissed by the media as misguided terrorists. I felt that Ryan would need to have something happen to him that would make him a slightly different person so (and let me know if you think this is too much) his mother dies giving birth to him, which in itself would affect his life, in this case, making him feel like a bit of an outsider and therefore a bit more detatched from society. Then later on, while he is still a child, his father is assassinated for putting his skills as a doctor to use helping an injured guerrilla fighter (his emotional problems are heightened beyond this point and, while in care, he becomes an increasingly more reckless and rebellious person). His father’s murder also allows him an emotional attachment, a deep-rooted motivation (no matter how negative) to try and change things. And as for the travelling, he cares not for permission. My idea was to have him stow away on a ship or plane. The idea is that when he travels, he sees different sides of society, like desperate poverty that leads to crime, oppressed education and general suffering. From this point, he continues travelling but with a plan to change things, learning from guerrillas and headhunters.
Thanks again for the help
Also, in terms of other cast members. I have a currently skin and bones idea for a love-story with a strong and intelligent but a little cooky woman named Leya who, as a polar opposite to Ryan, would represent a beacon of hope and peaceful rebellion for the populace, whereas Ryan, in costume, would represent an object of fear for the mob (who have been hired by the government as a kind of security measure). The more “mob” bosses Ryan (and eventually his team) takes down, the closer he gets to the fat cats in the government.
And as for enemies, I had a great idea: two seething anarchist psychpathic brothers who work as hitman are hired to take out Ryan and other main representatives of freedom, kind of Clockwork Orange-style crazed violence
Gosh some mary sue questions make me wonder. For example:
A character who disagrees with [Insert Your Heroes name] ends up getting in trouble, being dreadfully injured, or dying horribly in a way that proves that [Insert Your Heroes name] was right all along.
Well yeah maybe one or two do. What would be the point of a having a hero who has villains that constantly prove they are right and nothing negative happens to them. Kind of would make the hero totally redundant and not much of a hero in the end.
P.s the test said my character has a healthy career ahead of him anyway. But still.. lol