This is mainly aimed at high school and college English courses, but you might find this advice helpful in other subjects as well.
1. The first paragraph should introduce what you will be arguing and what sort of evidence you’ll be using to back up your assertion. In an English class, you’re not talking about every aspect of a book, so identify your focus. Do NOT merely provide a fact (“The Great Gatsby is a 20th century American novel set in West Egg, New York”). Focus on what you’ll need to make your argument. For example, “West Egg symbolizes the American dream” and then talk about what happens there and how that demonstrates what the author is suggesting about Gatsby’s attempts to break into the upper class.
2. Summarizing the book is usually besides the point. The teacher has already read the book, so the summary probably isn’t necessary. Do talk about plot events that advance your argument, though.
1. Romance. Villains frequently have ulterior motives (like marrying Aunt May to steal the nuclear power plant she inherited?!) and improper means (such as sabotaging rivals). True romances are rare for villains and can make them deeper and more interesting. Mr. Freeze’s romance with his wife Nora in The Heart of Iceturned him from a corny ice-themed punchline into an Emmy winner. (He later devolved into a corny ice-themed punchline after being played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, but some things can’t be helped).
2. Revenge. This might be heroic if the crime is particularly heinous and/or the regular authorities are not willing or able to resolve the situation. It might be villainous if the character is overreacting or not being careful enough about hitting only the people responsible.
3. To distinguish oneself. It depends on why the character wants to distinguish himself. A hero whose main goal is fame/status will probably gain a more substantial goal over the course of the story. (For example, Booster Gold). I think it’s seen as a superficial, temporary goal. In contrast, “be true to yourself” is more purely heroic… Unless being true to yourself involves psychically decapitating people and sucking out their brains.
4. To fit in/gain acceptance. A lot of heroes seek to gain the respect of their peers (see any story about “the new guy,” particularly students). However, gaining acceptance might be more sinister based on who the protagonist wants to impress and/or what will impress them. For example, 1984 ends with Winston Smith rather unhappily gaining acceptance by betraying his innocent girlfriend: ”…he had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.”
5. Justice. This is like revenge, but usually less lethal and targeted more carefully against the perpetrators. Nonetheless, justice can sometimes be villainous. For example, the main goal of the robot antagonist in the I, Robot movie is to prevent humans from getting hurt, and putting them under house arrest seems to be the most logical way to do so.
1. Don’t begin with a long description of the setting or background information. Do begin with dialogue and action. Agreed. However, explain enough so that we know what’s going on. I put down a book on page 2 yesterday because it spent all that time beautifully describing the weather and a man jumping out of a helicopter without explaining anything about why the guy came out of the helicopter. At first, it wasn’t even clear whether the person fell out accidentally or jumped.
2. Don’t start with a character other than your protagonist. You may wish to consider starting with the antagonist, but generally I agree with this. If your side-characters are the most effective hook to your story, you’re writing the wrong story!
3. Don’t start with a description of past events. DO jump right in with what the main character is involved in right now, and introduce some tension or conflict as soon as possible. In some cases, the inciting event of the book may have happened before the book starts. I don’t think that’s necessarily a problem. For example, a novel might start with a superhero or homicide detective investigating a crime that has already happened. As long as you keep the focus on what is happening now (the investigation, for example), covering an event that already happened shouldn’t bog down your plot.
4. Don’t start in a viewpoint other than the main character’s. Agreed! I’d reject pretty much anything that starts with a side-character that shows up once and then disappears. (Switching between main characters is okay, but a one-and-done narrator is NOT. Don’t waste our time on a character that isn’t central to the plot).
When you write a proposal/query (or anything else written purely for editors) for your superhero story, you’ll probably write a bit about the main characters’ superpowers. (1-2 sentences, please). I highly recommend against looking up a Latin or Greek prefix to name a superpower. If you had to look up the prefix, chances are the editor doesn’t know it, either.
PLEASE REWRITE: “John is a somnikinetic.”
BETTER: “John can manipulate dreams” or “John can control dreams.”
Descriptions with simple English terms are usually more effective than Greek/Latin names because:
English words are easier to understand and remember.
Most editors haven’t memorized lists of Greek or Latin prefixes.
Editors should not have to open a dictionary to understand what you’ve written.
Names based on prefixes can be easily confused with similar prefixes. For example, a reader might confuse somni- (dreams) with somn- (sleep) or son- (sound).
It may not be clear how you expect us to translate the word. For example, I’ve seen “kinesis” used as a suffix for “control,” “influence,” “manipulation,” “generation,” and “movement” (telekinesis = “remote movement”). Will we know which definition you’re going for?
Depending on the story and character, using prefixes and other jargon in-story may help to make the superpower sound more scientific/realistic. But that probably isn’t necessary in the query/submission letter or synopsis. For one thing, the query/submission letter are an introduction aimed at editors that have absolutely no context for your story. In contrast, by the time your story uses terms like “terrakinetic” or “ocular death-rays,” we’ve probably already seen the character’s powers in action.
According to the New York Times, one author got an extraordinarily fast response from agents after starting a blog. “Within two posts on her blog, which now attracts 30,000 visitors a month, Ms. Dolgoff said, five agents got in touch, and a book idea was born.” I find that hard to believe. Interesting even one unsolicited agent is extraordinarily hard. Five? With two posts? Unless I’m missing something, that sounds wildly implausible. For example, author Theodore Beale receives ~200,000 readers per month and has never had an agent solicitation.
I think the NYT should have dug harder here. For example…
Who are these agents?
Why were none of them interviewed in the article? If they’re real, their perspective on this apparent success story would be pretty interesting.
What impressed them about the first two blog posts enough to contact her?
Did the agents know her before she started blogging?
Did the agents find the website themselves? If not, who pointed them to it?
I have not been able to find any indication that there was a publishers’ auction over her book, nor does the article mention an auction. If there were five agents potentially interested in representing her after two blog posts, don’t you think it’s a bit strange that the book wouldn’t go to auction? (Note: I’m assuming “five agents got in touch” means that there were five agents interested in representing her, although an agent could contact an author just to offer friendly advice or chat).
Here are some queries that brought Google users to Superhero Nation this week.
How do I find out if my superhero story has already been told?Keep reading superhero stories, particularly in your medium (novels, comic books/graphic novels, etc). Authors that have only read one or two series tend to write original work that reads like fan-fiction for those series.
Unused superhero names? When you use a name you found on the Internet, there really isn’t any guarantee it hasn’t been used. If it’s good enough, someone will use it. The closest thing you have to a guarantee of originality is doing it yourself. The second-closest is asking a friend to brainstorm ideas without posting them online.
How do I sell a comic I wrote? I assume you’re trying to get professionally published, rather than self-published. Check out Nine Surprising Facts about Writing Comic Books. Also, when you submit to a publisher, you’ll probably include a page-long submission letter introducing your work and why they should publish it. When it comes time to write that, I’d recommend reading as many of the articles in the Query Letter category as possible. How to Communicate with Editors is a good place to start.
Robert Mason is collecting plot ideas in a publically available Idea Bank. Here’s my contribution: The hero has to stop a plan set in motion by a villain that has already died. How will a flying brick save the day if it’s not clear who needs to be smashed? What good will a psychic be if the main “henchmen” are actually innocent delivery boys that have no idea what they’re delivering? How can somebody like Jack Bauer stop a villainous plot if there’s nobody left to torture?
Publishers and literary agents reject quite a few manuscripts on page 1. However, if the query letter is bad, the editor will probably reject you without even looking at page 1. Here are some common problems and suggested solutions.
1. “This is just like Harry Potter meets Dirty Harry.” Comparing your work to another will probably make your work sound like an uninspired ripoff. Also, you can’t assume that the editor likes Harry Potter, or Twilight, or Spiderman, or whatever else you might think is the most awesome work ever. Instead of trying to hitch a ride on somebody else’s bandwagon, talk about your work. If editors think “this will totally work with Harry Potter fans,” great, but let them make that determination on their own.
2. The description of the plot/characters lacked details. “Gary must work with his partner to stop the villain and save the day.” What are Gary and the partner like? What’s the villain like? What’s the villain’s goal? Why should we care if they stop him? A more detailed description is usually more interesting. Try something like “Two unlikely Homeland Security super-agents, an accountant and a fun-loving mutant alligator, must band together to prevent a deranged cosmeticist from destroying humanity.” See more details on how to write an interesting and exciting pitch for your story here.
2.1 The description of the plot/characters forgot to mention the main goal and obstacles. Umm, that’s sort of the point of the book! Don’t miss it.
3. You addressed the letter “To Whom It May Concern,” “Dear Editor” or “Dear Agent.” Not personal enough. If you’re submitting to a publisher, use Google and address it to any editor that works in submissions. Even though the manuscript will probably be evaluated by somebody else, this will show that you have put some thought into this company specifically. If you’re submitting to a literary agency, check whether it describes the interests of each agent on its website. If so, address it to an agent that works on similar stories.
When I typed “superhero” in the Kindle searcher, there were a LOT of books masquerading as superhero fiction. Publishing pro tip: if you’re republishing a book like Aesop’s Fables, The Divine Comedy, The Arabian Nights, Tarzan, Best Russian Short Stories, or Hannibal the Conqueror*, I would highly recommend against selling such books as something they’re not. Mismarketed sales are far more likely to result in disgruntled customers and awful reviews.
This writing analyzer is fun. It’s totally useless for anything but amusement, though. It claimed that a passage actually written by Hemingway most resembled the work of P.G. Wodehouse, which is a bizarre choice for a passage about a man that killed a lion. Wodehouse mainly wrote comedies about foppish dandies more likely to use a club for golf than for anything interesting. (In the program’s defense, alcohol does play sort of prominently in both the Hemingway passage and Wodehouse’s work).
In most novels, comic books and graphic novels, the protagonists know at least one friendly police character. Here are some ways police characters can help the heroes.
1. Alerting the heroes when there’s a problem too large for the police. Common examples include superpowered robberies, jail breaks, and supernatural/occult/magical serial killers.
2. Crowd control (clearing out civilians during or before a superpowered brawl). This helps explain why civilians don’t get killed in the crossfire and gives the police something to do besides watch the fight.
3. Helping the heroes avoid legal trouble. Or, if the cop is REALLY friendly, helping them break out of jail.
4. Helping superheroes maintain a secret identity. “This picture of Superman turning into Clark Kent is obviously fake. At the time it was allegedly taken, I was with Clark Kent on the other side of town.” Alternately, this might help any protagonist avoid a case of mistaken identity/imposters. “That bank robber wasn’t the real Harry Dresden! I was discussing a case with Dresden, so the the robber must have been a shapeshifter.”
5. Passing along messages and packages to the heroes, particularly from a villain. When the Joker wants Batman to see something, the easiest middleman is the police because it wouldn’t make much sense if the Joker knew where to find Batman.
6. Delaying and/or thwarting hostile police officers. In many cases, some police officers are against the heroes, particularly if an antagonist impostor has torn up the town or the heroes are not very careful about collateral damage. In urban fantasy, some police officers may be uneasy about working with a sorcerer, werewolf or other supernatural creature. (“I went through six days of testing before I could take my firearm into the field. How about your wand?)
What’s the subgenre? (Are we talking about an action with… Superheroes? Military/espionage? A natural disaster? Adventurers? Vampires/supernatural creatures? Mythological figures? etc).
What’s the inciting event? (What event throws the main character out of his status quo/comfort zone?)
What’s the main character like? (Anything that makes him more interesting to prospective readers or suggests his role–CAUTION: naming him does not necessarily accomplish either)
What’s the main antagonist like? (Same as for the protagonist)
What’s the setting like? (Time and/or place)
What’s the central goal of the main character and/or what’s at stake if he loses?
What’s the author’s style like?
Is there an interesting contrast between elements of the title?
If the title doesn’t nail at least three of these, I’d recommend rewriting it and/or starting over. Here are some examples that I enjoyed.
My name is Cassandra and I’m a senior in college (YM and sociology major). Writing is mainly a hobby for me; I haven’t thought much of publishing other than in the last couple years. However, I’m afraid that although my stories have decent plots, they are over-ridden with too much pointless romance. And I like to think there is more to a story than romance.
Currently, I’m doing a complete rewrite of one of my novels. It is a YA action-romance superhero novel. Perhaps comparable to Meg Cabot’s supernatural novels when she still wrote under her name Jenny Carroll (such as the Mediator series and 1-800-Missing.)
Summary: Adaline is a high school student by day and the superhero, Volt, by night. But when her family relocates to small-town Indiana, she’s forced to retire her Volt persona. Can she survive the normalcy of the ordinary life or will The City’s pleas for Volt drive her insane? To top it off, high school athletes have been falling ill with a mysterious life-threatening disease. Throw in a love triangle between her next-door-neighbor and the small-town super and you have yourself quite the shocking story.
I don’t plan on posting too much about my overall plot because I don’t like the idea of having the entire synopsis and storyline posted online. However, I may post scenes that I am having difficulties with or would like multiple opinions on. In addition to this, if somebody is interested in learning more or taking a more active role in reviewing, then I would like to correspond through emails.
Unwacky: Brett Favre’s first completed pass was to himself.
Barely wacky: Austria’s World Cup team threw a key match to West Germany to screw Algeria. The game got so bad the announcer asked viewers to change the channel.
Wackier: “You were like 50 feet away. How could you be so sure that the ball crossed into the German goal?” “Stalingrad.”
Outlandish: “The Band Is On the Field!”
1. Be careful about needlessly long titles, particularly ones loaded with separate phrases. They’re typically less inviting to prospective readers and harder for people to remember. Unusually bizarre titles, like Saddam Hussein and the Hippies from Space, have more latitude here. (Regardless of length, they will be memorable).
2. If your title does not appeal to prospective readers, start over! Some words that rarely mean much to prospective readers include fictional character and place names. Alternately, some authors use puns. If the reader immediately makes prospective readers smile, fine. If readers will only understand the pun after reading the work, they won’t ever find out how witty the pun is… because they won’t open the book.
If we accept the premise of your story, whether that’s heroes getting superpowers from unlikely insect bites or gaining magical powers, does the rest of the story make sense? For example, you could get readers to buy into a guy getting magical powers and using them to fight a magical mob. But if the story is mostly realistic, like a cop infiltrating the mob, it’ll really disorient readers if a mobster starts using magic on page 200. If you’re planning on using unrealistic elements, introduce or foreshadow them early so that readers won’t be surprised when they show up. (For more on this, please see Holly Lisle and the Case of the Exploding Cat).
Realistic: the premise occurs or could easily occur in real life. Cops infiltrating the mob or students dealing with school, for example. Most superhero stories don’t have very much realistic stuff going on, and that isn’t a problem. Many premises give a superhero superpowers/capabilities through supernatural means such as science fiction, magic/occult, religion, etc. The only thing that matters is whether the reader can maintain the suspension of disbelief.
I was rereading through comments and found this one very sharp.
I’ve never understood the appeal of the power to speak all or several languages in works of fiction, I’ve seen it numerous times in fan fiction, but it never really made sense to me. The whole point of characters going to places where the language barrier is an issue is, well, primarily because the language barrier is going to be an issue, with a few exceptions in a few plots, and discounting fantasy works. Why send Captain Superior to China if the fact that he is an American-born superhero isn’t going to matter? Couldn’t he just stay home and skip a panel or two of flying? How is it exotic if he can just wander into any McDonald’s and order like it was any other Friday?
I agree that it’s important to cut out extraneous elements. However, I think there are some situations where foreign languages would add something to the story even if the main character can speak them.
While a criminal may have put some thought into creating a coherent story that’s hard to disprove, probing questions can move the conversation into areas where he has to make up a lie as he goes along. The more you push for details, the harder it is to keep up a lie. Here’s an excerpt of a fictional interview between an investigator and a criminal suspect.
Novelist Jessie Mac: Why Supporters are So Important–this is important enough that I’ll probably write my own article about it. Some authors start out doing signing events where only 0-5 people show up, and unfortunately that’s probably a waste of time. Besides the quality of the work, supporter dedication is probably the biggest factor affecting a new author’s sales success.
If you’re writing for readers that are mostly of the other gender, it would probably help to conceal your gender by using a pseudonym or your initials. Here’s a list of unisex names.
Bullies are a very common, almost ubiquitous obstacle for young protagonists. More often than not, I feel they’re stale, one-dimensionally malicious characters with incredibly thin motivations. (Hell, even Galactus has a better reason for consuming the Earth, and he’s apparently a cosmic dust cloud now).
If you’d like to use a bully, one alternative I’ve never seen would be to do a bully as a protagonist. I’ve never seen that before. You may be thinking something like “of course, because such a character would be so unlikable, you dumb ****.” Granted, likability would be a challenge. However, if Kickass’s tween serial killer and adult serial killers like Sylar or Dexter can be likable, and I think they are, a likable bully is feasible. (However, making the bully likable might be harder, because it’s harder to give a bully good intentions, whereas you can have the serial killer prey on bad guys). So our writing exercise today is to come up with as many possible story hooks for a bully protagonist, preferably one the audience likes even if they don’t want him to succeed as a bully.
Jim Hines did a survey on how novelists break into the industry. His ~250 respondents are skewed towards fantasy, romance and sci-fi, but I suspect that it’s not wildly different if you’re writing superhero action or historical or historical zombie, etc. Here are several main points I took away from his survey.
Especially early on, end your chapters or comic book issues with a cliffhanger to keep readers hanging on. That doesn’t mean that you have to place a character in grave physical danger. Here are some other options to convince readers that something interesting is just around the corner.
A new character makes an exciting entrance. Somebody that enters a scene doing something unusual will probably pique our attention more than somebody that just sort of ambles on stage. For example, if Amy is working for a debt collection agency, it probably wouldn’t be very interesting if her new partner just walked up and introduced himself like anybody else would. But if the partner walked into her office wearing a bulletproof vest or SWAT gear, then we’d wonder what Amy had gotten herself into.
The reader and/or character(s) learn or find something shocking or fascinating. For example, you can reveal the tip of a new iceberg. “Detective Smith had been so sure the butler was the killer, but he had to reexamine that hypothesis after discovering the butler’s decapitated body stuffed under the kitchen sink.” What we learn for sure (that the butler is dead) is not quite as interesting as the questions it raises: If he’s not the killer, then who? What else did we get wrong about the case? Why kill the red herring? Seriously, who stashes a body under a sink? It’s what we don’t know that will make us want to keep reading.
Foreshadowing danger. Detective Smith finds another decapitated body, but this time the killer has painted a message on the wall with the victim’s blood. YOU’RE NEXT, JIM. Who’s Jim? Why does the killer want him dead? Can the detective save Jim in time? Why would the killer leave a message? Please note that this danger does not have to be physical–it just needs to threaten something really important to the character. For example, if the protagonist is the new girl at school, you might end a chapter with her inadvertently causing some grave slight to the head cheerleader. We’ll worry about how the cheerleading squad will get back at her.
A character is placed in immediate danger. In silent films, this meant tying up the damsel to the train tracks, but it doesn’t have to be physical or involve an antagonist. For example, if Ironman’s flying around and suddenly his jets cut out. Or if a recovering alcoholic (like, ahem, Ironman) reaches for a beer.
Something interesting is about to happen or starts to happen.
The characters are on the verge of doing something interesting. After Caesar crosses the Rubicon, heads are gonna roll. The only question is whose.
The characters are introduced to an exciting (often mysterious) new location. Something that makes us wonder “what’s gonna happen here?” For example, if the characters discover a secret room in somebody’s house, what will the characters find there? Why was it being hidden? What else is the character hiding? How far would the hider go to keep it hidden?
Cliffhangers are even more important for comic books, I think. A comic book writer needs to push readers to find and buy the next issue, which takes more effort than flipping to the next chapter of a novel.
The difference between “anyone” and “any one” is simple but frequently missed. “Anyone” is a synonym to “anybody,” so use “anyone” in a situation where “anybody” would also work. If anybody does not fit, use “any one.”
Any one of Jim’s girlfriends would murder him if she found out.
Anyone could have told Jim that having four girlfriends was probably an unwise move in terms of not getting murdered.
Also, please keep in mind that both are singular. “Jim’s girlfriends would murder him if they found out” vs. “Any one of Jim’s girlfriends would murder him if she found out.”
In your first few paragraphs, do we learn anything interesting (particularly about the main character or critical elements of the setting) that will make us want to keep reading? Is it something that differentiates him from other protagonists in similar stories? If not, it is probably not very interesting. For example, telling us that Johnny goes to school blurs your book with roughly a bajillion others. Telling us that Johnny goes to a school for reformed pyromaniacs does a much better job of differentiating the book from its competitors.
In the first few pages, how do your characters and writing make themselves stand out? (As opposed to, say, just another picked-on student that becomes Spiderman a superhero). For example, Kickass starts off with a bit of dark comedy. On the first page, we see a superhero about to fly and we’re led to believe it’s the protagonist taking a bold step towards a glorious future. Instead, the guy hits the pavement and the main character adds something like: “That’s not me, by the way. That was a guy with a history of mental illnesses.” Right away, you know we’re NOT talking about another Spiderman series.
Okay, so starting with a wannabe superhero accidentally committing hara-kiri probably wouldn’t fit your book. What’s something you could do to launch your story with something truly distinct to it? (HINT: Unless the character’s morning routine involves something truly bizarre and interesting, DO NOT START WITH A CHARACTER WAKING UP). One way to differentiate yourself is to freshen familiar material by using an unexpected tone or putting it towards a different goal. For example, the comic I’m working on is hardly the first to open with the protagonist narrowly avoiding an assassination. But it’s probably the first to do so for comedic purposes.
On page 100, does anything interesting happen? What about page 212? Don’t let your book stall in the middle. Keep developing characters, adding plot wrinkles, unexpected complications, etc. On page 230, is anything at stake? Do characters pursue their goals with the same (or greater) intensity as on page 1?
One thing I see often is that the author successfully sets up the hero’s journey in an interesting way but then the journey itself is sort of bland. Plot coupons are probably the most common problem there. (The heroes must collect __ pieces of ____ to do _____, like destroy 7 Horcruxes to defeat Voldemort or collect 8 badges to become a Pokemon master). Using plot coupons makes sense in a video game, sort of, but it tends to weaken suspense by making the plot predictable. For one thing, it’s pretty much 100% guaranteed that the heroes will destroy the first six Horcruxes because the plot would break if they didn’t. To some extent, you can generate suspense along the way to destroy the first six Horcruxes, like leaving readers asking which minor characters will die or who will get romantically involved, and kickass execution has saved many poor concepts before, but it is almost assuredly not the best concept you can come up with.
If you’re interested in length guidelines for graphic novels, please see this LinkedIn discussion. By the way, if you’re interested in getting published, I’d recommend getting on LinkedIn. It’s like Facebook for professionals. For example, right now I’m in discussions with other writers about how best to build up a writing platform to impress prospective publishers. I think it’s even better for comic book teams: I posted a request for feedback on a group for comic book illustrators and received feedback that was very useful and informed.
PS: Based on the graphic novels I’ve seen recently, I think anywhere between 132-200 pages would be publisher-friendly. However! Each publisher has its own preferred length, so check out what they’ve been publishing lately. If your length is significantly outside of the range of what they’ve published in the past few years, I think that bodes poorly for your chances there.
One final note: As a measure of comparison, comic books are usually 20-32 pages of content (not including ads). As always, check out what the publishers put out, but Marvel and DC usually publish at the shorter side of that and Dark Horse and Image typically do 32. Also, since each sheet of paper has a front and back side, I’d recommend accounting for an even number of pages. If your script covers 27 pages, you’re going to have a blank side that you need to fill up. For example, you might answer letters from readers or do an ask-the-cast page (like a letters page, but supposedly it’s the characters answering the questions), include another side of ads (not preferred), extend the story by a page, etc. Good luck!
1. In most cases, I think that it’s probably best to ask your editor about a pseudonym after getting the offer. For one thing, it’ll reduce the chance that you make a poor first impression with a goofy-sounding pseudonym. The only time that I think that a pseudonym would actually help somebody get published is if the author shares a name with a celebrity. (“Who’s this guy pretending to be Steven King?”)
2. If you do use a pseudonym, please write something like “[YOUR REAL NAME], WRITING AS RODDY BARBER” on your title page. For tax reasons, the publisher has to know your real name. (Otherwise, the IRS will get surly and then everybody is screwed).
1. Please establish the voice and personality early. One possibility is having the character and/or narrator make an unusual observation about something important to the story or giving some unusual personality trait about the character. For example, “It was a pleasure to burn” (Fahrenheit 451) or “You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, but that ain’t no matter” (Huckleberry Finn).
2. Another option is having the character start with an action that is typical to him, but NOT typical to most other protagonists. This is why opening a book with the character waking up is usually ineffective. It rarely launches into the unique/interesting aspects of the character and the story quickly enough. You didn’t write a story about this character to show him waking up, so just skip to the part that we WILL care about.
I hate it when characters that are experienced and/or (supposedly) competent fail to plan ahead.
1. Does the character try to plan for the superpowers and capabilities of their opponents? On Heroes, allegedly competent and well-equipped organizations routinely stumbled into slaughterfests because they used SWAT-style squads to overpower targets with crazy powers. Let me lay this out right now: any plan that involves close-range combat with somebody that can outrun a fighter jet or stop time is idiotic! As soon as the target sees anything, (s)he turns on his/her superpower and everybody else dies. A better plan would be something like killing the target by long-range, perhaps by sniper rifle. Or bombing the house while the target is asleep. Or somehow interfering with the character’s ability to use his powers. (On Heroes, it is amazing how rarely the Company uses the power-nullifying Haitian).
1. Whenever possible, give details instead of general statements. For example, a general statement would be “Tommy LaRouche is a brutal criminal.” Generally it’s more effective to give the readers the evidence and let them reach their own conclusion. For example, “Tommy ‘Powerdrill’ LaRouche is wanted for twelve kidnappings, eight counts of torture, five murders, and at least one kidnapping that resulted in murder by torture. And don’t even think about how he got his nickname.”
2. Put extra scrutiny into adjectives. Do they help establish a character or the plot? Do they help the reader create a mental image? Generally, I think adjectives create more interesting imagery when they describe a detail or action than when they describe something larger, like a character. For example, saying “Batman is careful” is harder to visualize than an adverb phrase like “Batman carefully checked the door for wires and other signs of booby-traps.”
3. “Showing” all the time is probably not possible. For one thing, it takes more space. Calling somebody graceful is shorter than taking a sentence to describe something graceful he does. However, if the trait is important to the scene, it probably deserves the extra space.
4. In most cases, I’d recommend finding more specific alternatives for bland modifiers like “good,” “well” and “nice.” What kind of good are we talking about? For example, if you say somebody is a good writer, it’s not clear whether you’re complimenting her sense of humor or attention to detail or superb wordplay or something else entirely.
J. Teer says: This review forum is for an “action prose” series that I would like to see published, but where is the market for such writing? I guess it could be easily translated into a comic series, but I prefer prose, and I wouldn’t know where to start to translate it. I don’t know, so I’ll just post the stories here to get feedback.
The story is a spinoff of a novel I had published called Transcendence (available at Amazon).
The series protagonist is Raymond Cervantes, a wereterrier: a zoanthrope with the mystical ability to transform into a humanoid pitbull dubbed the Pit. It follows the exploits of his “day job” as a world-class mixed martial artist, and Pit’s battles against supernatural evil beings such as werewolves, vampires, sorcerers, zombies, etc…
All feedback is welcome, but I would particularly like feedback on the fight scenes.
1. I would recommend using your symbols in unexpected ways. For example, fire is most commonly used to symbolize destruction and/or Hell. However, there are so many more options that are creative and fresh. For example, fire represented ignorance (and possibly political correctness) in Fahrenheit 451 and civilization in the story of Prometheus. If the symbolic meaning you’re going for is the first one that comes to mind with that symbol, maybe you could be a bit more creative.
1A. If you got your symbol from a list somewhere, it’s probably too obvious. For example, tree -> life, fire -> destruction/Hell, spring -> rebirth/life, apple -> loss of innocence, water -> atonement or cycles, etc. Think on it some more and you’ll probably come up with something that fits your story better than these. For example, the recurring symbol for destruction/doomsday in Watchmen is a ticking clock. In The Godfather, death is usually preceded by an orange. (!)
2. In a comic book script, make sure that you tell your artist how you want the symbol to appear. Otherwise, the artist may inadvertently mangle the meaning of the symbol. For example, if technology is supposed to be a sign of progress and civilization in your story, you’d probably want the cars to look shiny and new rather than grimy and decrepit. Unless you specify otherwise, it’s up to the artist’s judgment.
Your superhero will probably stop crime at some point. So how does he find it? Here are a few options.
1. The most common option is just going on patrol. Most readers and editors will give you the benefit of the doubt that a modern city has so much crime going on that a hero can stumble upon armed robberies without too much trouble.
2. The hero may have access (authorized or otherwise) to what the police know. For example, maybe he has a police scanner, has hacked police radios, has a friend on the police force, or is otherwise contacted by the police on particular cases.
3. The hero might be contacted directly by a victim. For example, if a company has some reason to resolve a crime without getting the police involved, maybe it’ll contact a hero instead. This would make sense particularly if the police in your story aren’t particularly competent (or maybe they’re corrupt). Or maybe the victim was somehow involved in some illegal activity (like a prostitute, an illegal immigrant, etc).
4. The hero may have access to what the criminals know. For example, maybe he has an informant, has bugged an important phone, interrogates a captured criminal, etc. Any one of these could indicate where and when an impending crime will occur.
The police successfully rescued all the hostages taken by a gunman that was not merely a psychopath, but a squirrel sympathizer. Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Shar […]
Novelist Paulo Campos has a list of questions to help you determine whether your story is ready to submit. I found #1-9 especially helpful. One of my own: during your last rewrite, how much of the story changed? If less than 10% changed, you’re probably ready to go. […]
Vampires Suck is startlingly bad. How could anybody dig into a comedic vein so rich–ripping into Twilight–and come up with so little? It’s like going to Alaska and failing to find snow. If you’re in the mood for a good Twilight parody, I recommend this fake screenplay. Here’s an excerpt: SCENE 2 BELLA: It’s tough […]
Jay Faulkner is looking for superhero story submissions between 2500-8000 words long. (For longer submissions, query first). Genre: anything with superheroes. “This can be pure comic-book style heroes, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc but the central theme / characters in the story MUST involve superheroes.” Deadline: October 31, 2010. Pay: none. Submission de […]
If you’re worried that your manuscript isn’t as coherent as it could be, mapping your plot can be extremely helpful. To do so: List the 25-50 most important events in the plot. Place one event each on a post-it note. Organize as many of the post-it notes into a cause-and-effect chain as you can. For […]
