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B. Mac gave me this to post. He says he will be healthy enough to return to full-time status within a few days.

Agent White, junior recruiter: Mr. Smith, I have no doubt that you are an excellent IRS auditor, but I’d like to know more about how an accountant might be qualified for this agency. What about killing. Have you done any of that?

Gary Smith: No, sir.

Agent White: Have you ever seen someone die brutally? A de-limbing, perhaps?

Gary Smith: No, sir.

Agent White: I see. You seem like an excellent fit… for the IRS. I’m going to do you a favor and ask that you leave now. You would break in ten minutes here and you probably wouldn’t even be the first.

Gary Smith: …

Gary Smith: Is that a request or an order?

Agent White: …

Agent White hits his intercom button.

Agent White: Agent Orange, could you step inside, please?

Agent Orange, a hulking mutated alligator, enters the room.

Agent Orange: Greetings, mammals! Mammal-White, Mammal-Smith.

Agent White: Sir, could you please describe to Mr. Smith what your job is here?

Agent Orange: Indeed! I’m the head recruiter and trainer. I determine who enters training and then how best to systematically destroy them. We’ve reduced our mortality/psychosis rate to a historically low 6%!

Agent White: Mr. Smith, so far Agent Orange has broken six Navy SEALS, five Force Recons, ten Army Rangers and so many Special Agents we’ve stopped counting.

Gary Smith: But no accountants, I bet.

Agent Orange: …

Agent Orange: When are you available to start?

I am in a debilitating amount of pain right now and will likely be unable to blog for the next week or two.  Until then, please enjoy the sparkling insights of the rest of the Superhero Nation writing staff.  Thanks for your understanding; I hope to get better soon.

I am desperately in need of musical assistance. I was in the cafeteria and a song came on the intercom and unfortunately I don’t know the song’s name. But one of my lady-friends loves the song and I want to buy the CD for her. So let’s play a little game of “Name That Tune.”

1. One of the repeated phrases in the song is something like “we could be together” or “we could stay together,” which is enunciated like “we could beeeeee togettthhher.”
2. It’s sung by a fairly young woman. Probably 20-30.
3. It sounded pretty poppish.
4. The melody was a little bit sad and haunting but not really gloomy, if that makes sense at all.

I would be immensely grateful for your help in this most masculine of pursuits. Please e-mail me at superheronation@gmail.com if you have any ideas what song that was.

The RealClearPolitics polling averages are showing that Senator Obama has lost a lot of ground to McCain recently and now fares worse than Senator Clinton in a potential matchup with Senator McCain.  Respectively, Obama and Clinton have a 1.2 and 1.5% lead over McCain.  Furthermore, Obama’s once-noticeable lead over Clinton in head-to-head polling has dropped to a virtually nonexistent 1% in the RCP average.

Going into the convention… Continue Reading »