The Washington Post reveals that Iranian’s crack spies are getting dangerously close to uncovering the conspiracy surrounding Iran’s democratic movement.
The governor of greater Tehran, Morteza Tamadon, a staunch Ahmadinejad ally, claimed Wednesday that 800 artists and academics who had visited the United States in recent years were trained to protest the election outcome.
I met one of them in Washington! I don’t remember discussing how to protest election outcomes, or even how to statistically identify electoral fraud. But then again, I would say that, wouldn’t I?
CNN reports that Iran has outed another party involved in this vast democratic conspiracy: CNN! A spokesperson for the Iranian government has more:
This is the CNN’s schedule. They officially trained the people to come and hack Iran’s government Web sites. This is the English text, I can give it to you. This is a cyber war.”
I cannot remember what I was doing last Saturday. Perhaps I was getting drunk as a Mormon in a barrel of rum*. Or perhaps I was actually training hackers to destablize the Iranian government and the CIA kindly implanted fake memories of $6 margaritas so that I couldn’t give up any information under torture.
*Not likely, given that I don’t drink. If you think I can afford $6 margaritas on a writer’s salary, you must be factoring in the CIA/Mossad stipends I get every month.
Dark comedy aside, I wish the best to the people of Iran, but unfortunately protests against undemocratic regimes are rarely successful in the short term. In the heat of the moment, the government has several major advantages, including all-but-unmatchable firepower.