Feb 28 2010
Saturday Morning Watchmen, Again
I’ve linked this before, but it’s worth seeing again.
Feb 28 2010
I’ve linked this before, but it’s worth seeing again.
Jun 18 2008
I’m tempted to add some snarky comment about unemployment causing Mewtwo to cling to guns…
Picture taken from Path-e-tech-graphics.
Apr 29 2008
Apr 25 2008
Superheroes should never ask “are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The answer is never helpful.
But where could you find that much nitroglycerin at this hour?
–Dr. Darpa
Unless your IQ has tripled since we’ve last spoken, probably not.
You are now.
–Mr. Mental
Don’t flatter yourself.
–Paingod
Mar 25 2008
“I’m not a poker shark. Did you know that coconuts kill more people than sharks do? I’m like a hurricane of coconuts.”
–Catastrophe
Mar 25 2008
Fiction is a response to threat. No one wants to read happily ever after. That’s why the story ends at happily ever after.
–Cadet Davis
Mar 14 2008
What’s at the top of supervillain to-do lists for 2008? (Hint: not saving money or losing weight). Here’s a sample.
[Paingod] Attain absolute power in at least one country. My first act will be to ask Evil Overlord to be my chief of police. If he says no, I’ll kill him. If he says yes, I’ll poison him so that he can live by earning regular doses of the antidote.
[Chronic] Develop a time machine and get advanced technologies from a future version of myself. But I know that he will see an opportunity to exploit his foreknowledge and technology by replacing me. So I’ll kill him first.
[Gangrene] Surf City’s been a bust. The cop-to-plant ratio is far too high. This year, I have a better idea. I call it Plan Colombia.
[The Colombian] Cooperate with Gangrene to develop hardier drug crops. Then I’ll kill him.
[Jihad Joe] Anything. I’m still relevant, dammit!
Dec 24 2007
Dr. Berkeley is a mathematician that Jacob Mallow hires to complete a project that relies heavily on numbers theory. Unfortunately for Berkeley, the project is actually an attempt to build a weapons-grade mutagen. Whoops. Several accidents later, he is mutated into a dead ringer for Katastrophy, the supervillain in a popular Japanese cartoon show. In the aftermath of his mutation, he has to escape capture from his former employer and devise a serum to restore his humanity.
WRITERS’ NOTES
When designing a character, it’s critical that your audience discern key characteristics about each character. Did the quotes help you associate Catastrophe with any particular characteristics? Which ones? Some variation of self-assured, eccentric and calculating probably made your list. Did you get discontented as well?
Dec 13 2007
Biological Engineering
Popular Courses: Introduction to Biology, Remedial Chemistry, Organic Chemistry for Athletes
Available Jobs: Zoo cage-cleaner, supervillain
Appropriate response to someone admitting his child is a bioengineer: “That’s OK. Med school isn’t for everyone.”
Political Science
Popular Courses: The Cold War and Sports, Methods and Norms in Brazilian Basket-Weaving, Lunch
Available Jobs: ???
Appropriate response to someone admitting her child is in poli-sci: “Which law schools is he looking at?”
Chemical Engineering
Popular Courses: Crack Processing, Meth Lab Management, Smuggling
Available Jobs: Narcotics manufacturing, McDonald’s de-greaser
Appropriate response to someone admitting his child is a chem-eng: “I’m so sorry.”
Economics
Popular Courses: Cooperation and Teamwork, Collaborative Methods, Shirking Responsibility
Job Prospects: Similar to chemical engineers, but without the real-world meth skills.
Appropriate response to someone admitting her child studies economics: “What a coincidence! My company has an opening for a position that does absolutely no work.”
Philosophy
Popular Courses: Is Time Travel Possible?, Metaphysics of Kantean Logic, Guided Readings in Other Philosophers No One’s Ever Heard of
Job Prospects: None. There’s no reason to hire a philosophy major over a hard-working high-school graduate. Or a vagrant.
Appropriate response to a job application by a Philo major: “Did I choose to throw out his resume or was it destiny?”
Pre-Med
Popular Courses: Methods in Moleculo-chemical Physicality, Biofeedback and Physiologicality, Sneering
Job Prospects: Similar to those of the Biological Engineer, but the Pre-Med can boast that he lasted a year in med school.
Appropriate response to someone admitting her child is a Pre-Med: “Is it too late to switch majors?”
Nov 27 2007
Journalist: Is it true that the government has systematically tried to conceal the truth so that the American people don’t know how threatened they are?
Mike, the head of the Office of Special Investigation’s RETCON unit: We usually get accused of playing up the terrorist threat. At least you didn’t throw out the psychic amnesia theory.
Journalist: You didn’t answer my…
Journalist: …
Journalist: What was I saying?
Mike: Damned if I remember.
Nov 09 2007
The Refrigerator of DOOM
Doctor Savant: “Before we open my refrigerator, you better take this.”
Lash: “What the hell, a flame thrower?”
Doctor Savant: “Just in case.”
Lash: “Just in case of what?”
Doctor Savant: “Exactly.”
Aug 23 2007
Inquiring minds want to know: