The surgery to remove my wisdom teeth went unusually well. I should be responding normally to comments/emails by tomorrow (Tuesday).

If you’re waiting on a response, please post a comment below to remind me.

1.  Unless your plot has changed dramatically, I’d rather not review a rewritten chapter, especially before the manuscript’s first draft is completed.  Generally, it’s a lot more productive for an author to keep moving forward.  I’d love to review your next chapter!

2.  Unless you’re really, really stuck, I’d recommend holding off on any heavy rewriting before the manuscript’s first draft is complete.  You’ll have a much better idea of where the story is going once you have the first draft done and that will make your rewrites vastly more effective.  It will be much easier to organize the story and determine what is worth keeping or accentuating or removing after the first draft is complete.  Before that, trying to do a rewrite is like drawing up a map to somewhere you haven’t been yet.

3.  In most of the cases where I’ve reviewed early rewrites, the authors got demoralized because things weren’t improving as much as they had hoped.  But it wasn’t their fault or a reflection on their talent.  Before the first draft is completed, everything will suck, regardless of your talent level or how many times you rewrite a chapter.  The only way to break out of “first draft hell” is to finish the first draft.

I can now be reached through my online contact form here.  (Thanks, P. Mac!)  If you’d like to send me a formatted e-mail (such as, say, a comic book script), I can still be reached at superheronation-at-gmail-dot-com.

I’ve responded to all of the review requests, comments and e-mails in my inbox.  If you are still waiting on a response, please re-post the comment or re-send your e-mail (to superheronation-at-gmail-dot-com).  Thanks!

The U.S. Army bought about 100,000 M4s last fiscal year, improving the nation’s zombie readiness levels from “doomed” to “screwed.”  In your face, zombies! Also, the Navy is working on a electromagnetic railgun.  When the zombie dolphins are upon us, we’ll be ready.

Other exciting military technology that could mess some zombies up:

• Nuclear rifles
• Flying jeeps
• Chain-saw robots.  Brilliantly, these would be powered by biomass furnaces, which would keep fallen humans and plants from turning into enemy combatants.  (Also, gasoline would surely be in shorter supply than bodies).

Here are some questions I got from letters and Google queries.

How long should a comic synopsis be? For a series, 2-5 double-spaced pages.  For a single issue (a standalone/one-shot), one single-spaced page.

Does a hero need a love interest? No, but it’s a nice change of pace for the hero to do something besides superpowered brawls all the time. Romances are one option.  Other options include the protagonists’ work, school, family, protecting one’s alternate identity, relationships between teammates and/or relationships between the heroes and side characters, etc.

How to write an synopsis for comics. The hardest part is condensing your story into an interesting and easily understood form.  In addition to the advice of Warren Ellis, I’d highly recommend checking out Query Shark and Flogging the Quill for examples of how novelists condensed their stories.  Once you have that down, the synopsis should be easy.  Other notes: Focus on the main elements, rather than getting bogged down in peripheral details, and I think the main character is usually the best point-of-entry for new readers.  (If you need to lay out the premise or setting before getting to the main character, please make it quick).

Can a carrot be a protagonist? Survey says no.

How can I get published with DC Comics? Like Marvel, DC doesn’t accept unsolicited scripts. Most of their writers started for other publishers and then got an offer from DC or Marvel.  Alternately, you can start working for DC (or Marvel) in some other capacity, like editing or sales or promotions or whatever, and then move laterally within the company.

How do I write for Marvel Comics? Same as DC: Get known somewhere else, OR start working for Marvel in another capacity and move laterally.  Unlike DC, Marvel has a ton of (unpaid) internships, so that’s one way to get started there.  I’d particularly recommend looking at editorial and editorial operations internships because those involve the most work with writers.

How can I get DC’s attention? + comic writting. I think most of the people that have a chance at a career in writing (for any company) are so good at basic writing craft that it’s purely instinctive.   You’ll obviously put more thought into your professional work than a Google query, but misspelling “writing” may suggest that brushing up on your mechanics would help.   As for getting DC’s attention, I think the easiest ways are to publish elsewhere (preferably a superhero comic, since that’s their focus) and/or work at DC.

How do first-time novelists get their books published? First, finish the manuscript and rewrite as much as necessary.  (The ideal length for an adult novel’s manuscript is ~70,000-90,000 words). After you’re ready to submit, you can send out queries (page-long proposals laying out your project) to literary agents or directly to publishers.  For more advice on the querying process, I’d highly recommend Query Shark’s reviews of queries and Flogging the Quill’s reviews of first pages.

How long should a comic book be? It depends on which publishers you’re looking at, but usually something on the order of 22-24 pages of content. (Some pages of comic may need more than 1 page to script, so the script may be a bit longer).

How many chromosomes would a superhero have? 46 if he’s a human, 18 if he’s a carrot, and almost certainly irrelevant regardless.

Give me an essay on if I were a superhero. Write your own, hippie.

Why are so few homeless people found in Canada? Because the moose eat the bones.

One of the things that strikes me about her organizational scheme is that she kept track of the month of each event, information that’s was rarely referred to in-story but is very important to maintaining coherence.  If you’re not sure which month you’re depicting when you’re writing a scene, even the weather becomes a potential continuity hazard.  She and her editors were freakishly good at keeping everything logically consistent.  (The closest thing to a continuity error I found in the HP series was a student showing up at Hogwarts the year after she should have graduated, and some religious texts have pages with more continuity errors than that).

After a sting to the head and a precautionary shot of Epinephrine, we can conclusively say that I am alive and the bee is not.  In your face, Mother Nature!

• Should I mention fan-fiction in my query letter? No.  Nor would I recommend mentioning self-published works unless you’ve sold at least a few thousand copies or blogs unless you have hundreds of thousands of readers.
• cool superhero names. the superhero has all powers. I think your story has more pressing issues than character names.
• how long should a novel be. Adult novel manuscripts are usually 80-100,000 words but there is some variation by genre.  YA novel manuscripts are usually around 40-60,000 words.
• how do i represent foreign text in comic books? If the character is speaking another language but you want to translate it into English for readers, I would recommend something like this.
  

  If the text is in the art rather than the lettering (such as a store sign in Shanghai or a Babylonian tablet), then I would recommend sending the artist a copy of the text in a  large font, as well as a screenshot of the text in a large font (in case the artist’s word-processor can’t read the language).

I’m changing a lot of content around tonight and many links may be broken until, say, Sunday.  I’m doing my best to update the links, but if you find any that don’t work, please post a comment somewhere.  Thanks!

When you do a barrel roll, try to flip your vehicle an even number of times rather than an odd.

RIGHT

WRONG

I passed the Foreign Service Exam.  Getting closer!  The Personal Narrative Questions are next.  🙂

P. Mac (my unevil twin?) got 100,000 readers last Saturday after the New York Times linked one of his posts.  So he performed some dark sorcery on the server and now the server’s sites (including this one) can cheerfully handle tens of thousands of people.  Good times!  I remember when 12,000 people caused SN to crash.

Hello. If you haven’t taken my survey yet, I would really appreciate if you gave me 10 minutes of your time. That will help me get published. You can take it by clicking here or by reading under the fold. Completing the survey enters you into a raffle to win a free, signed copy of The Taxman Must Die when it comes out.
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• literary agents for comic book writers. I’ve gone back and forth on this a few times.  I’ve heard good things about Bob Mecoy and he’s worked with a variety of comics publishers (including DC).  Besides that, I’d lean towards submitting a comic book without an agent.
• top superhero novels. See this.
• how to get a superhero stiry published. Step one: proofread.
• comic on potassium. Uhh, good luck with that one.
• alligator vs. werecanadian. Here.
• slash fiction comic book. Not here.
• “fire dragon” + “exploding” + “dictator.” I have no idea what you’re looking for, but suddenly I want to find it too.

• schlieffen plan comic. Add an exploding dictator, and I’m game.

• how to narrate an important choice or decision. First, you can show the character taking it seriously, maybe sweating or behaving nervously or otherwise worrying about getting it right.  Alternately, you can have him think through the consequences.
• how can I become a superhero? Step 1: get a job at a nuclear power plant.  The more leaks, the better.
• writing a paper about whether players should be held for accidentally hitting the umpire with a baseball. When I tell my publisher how many readers this site has, I’m going to subtract this guy.
• average advance for first time fantasy novel. $6500.   However, the typical first-time advance is $5000.  (The average is skewed by a few superstars that make a bajillion dollars on their first go).   Also, don’t forget to secure an agent.
• panels on the average american comic book page. I think it really depends on the situation.  In a page heavy on dialogue, I usually do 6-8 and Watchmen often did 9.  If the page has a lot of action or heavily involved settings, I would recommend doing fewer panels because you’ll usually need more space for a visually involved panel than you would for text.
• surprising facts about alligators. When holding an alligator, make sure you hold its neck in place.   Otherwise, it can turn its head and possibly rip something off.   (Depending on the size of the alligator, common losses include fingers and arms).

Hello. If you haven’t seen my comic book’s five sample pages already, please check them out here and sign up for a chance to win a free signed copy when it comes out. Thanks! Having more interested readers will help me get published and I really appreciate your time.

Hello. If you haven’t seen my comic book’s five sample pages already, please check them out here and sign up for a chance to win a free signed copy when it comes out. Thanks! Having more interested readers will probably improve my odds of getting published and I really appreciate the help.

The Taxman Must Die is a wacky mix of an office comedy and a police thriller. Two unlikely investigators –an accountant and a mutant alligator–have to save the world. From themselves, mostly. Here’s the scene where the two main characters first meet! If you like the pages, please sign up for the raffle for a chance to win a free, signed copy when it comes out.

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Hello. I’d appreciate if you’d take 3-5 minutes to sign up for my mailing list, if you haven’t already done so. Everyone on the list gets a chance to win a free, signed copy of SN #1 when it comes out. Also, having many interested readers will hopefully help me get published. Thanks for your support!

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The fact that I found this amusing is probably my body’s way of telling me I shouldn’t stay up this late.

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My freelance work is picking up, so I don’t think I’ll be around very much today or tomorrow.  If you’d like me to look at something as soon as I get back, please leave me a comment somewhere reminding me what you’d like to look at.

• Basic proofreading. I’ll fix your grammar, spelling and punctuation.  The rate for this ranges from one cent per word for a polished writer to five cents for someone who needs more proofreading help.  If you have fewer than three typos per page, I’d offer you a rate of one cent per word.
• Query letters and submission letters. When you submit a novel manuscript or comic book script to a publisher, you also need to include a letter explaining your proposal in a persuasive fashion.  Usually this is one page long for a novel and one to two pages long for comic book proposals.  $100 for the first page and $50 for every subsequent page.
• Header design. I’d have to work out a rate based on what you’d like in your header, but this would probably be around $100-125 for Photoshopped photography and text and $200-300 if you’d like something more cartoony, like our header.
• Stylistic rewrite. I’ll rewrite a chapter (or chapters) to be more effective.  This is considerably more expensive than simple proofreading.  I’ll quote you a rate after seeing the chapter(s), but probably around 10-15 cents per word.
• Comic book formatting and proofreading. This ranges from $10 per page for a well-polished script to $20 per page for a script that needs a lot of editing.  If there are fewer than 3 typos per page, I will offer a rate of $10 per page.

A few notes to keep in mind.

• If the order is more than $100, I’d like half of the total payment upfront and half upon completion to your satisfaction.  If it’s less than $100, I’d like all of it upfront.
• Most of my past clients have paid with Paypal.  If you have something else in mind, please let me know and we can work that out.
• I am (ludicrously) American, but I’ve worked with British spelling before.  If you’re trying to get published in Britain, Australia or Canada, I’d be honoured to work with you.

If you’d be interested in working with me, please let me know at superheronation-at-gmail-dot-com .  Thanks!

I’m applying for a job a day for two weeks.  So far, I’ve gotten an offer I’m considering.  And a bait-and-switch scam.  I forgot the cardinal rule of writing: any writing job that pays more than $10 an hour is a lie.  (I’m exaggerating, but not much).

1.  Please take my comic book survey! Thanks.  It’ll take about five minutes and will help me get my comic book published. 

2.  Registered SN users can use HTML coding in comments and access our comment search-engine by going down to the link that says Site Admin at the bottom.  (Nonregistered users can only see the 15 most recent comments).  If you haven’t registered, why not? It’s free!

Since it would be really annoying for me to keep e-mailing people whenever I have a new version ready, I’ll post the versions online.  HOWEVER, for security reasons I have to use a password– to open the document, the password is my first name (no capitals).  If you don’t know what my first name is, please e-mail me and I’ll tell you.  Alternately, you could just try guessing male names that begin with b– it would probably be faster.  

This is a hassle for everyone, and I apologize, but this helps me avoid the nightmare scenario of a complete script going viral before people have a chance to buy it.  

Script version 1.1, pages 1-37. 

A summary of changes from 1.0 to 1.1: 

• I removed about two pages worth of material, including most of the side-scene with the cabbie and the page where he signs a legal contract.  
• The “Jebediah Whateley” tangent is completely gone.  It was convoluted and didn’t add anything. 
• I’ve started sharpening a few of the scenes, mainly Gary-Orange and Gary-Felix. 

The first draft of my first issue is done at 36 pages. If you’d like me to send you a copy, please let me know.

So far I’m up to 34 pages on my first comic book issue. I think the first draft will be ~40 pages and then I’ll edit that down to a final draft of 32 pages. I terribly underestimated the amount of space I would need for each scene. For example, in my original outline, I estimated the two main characters would meet on page 8. As actually written, they meet on page 28.

Anyway, if you’d like to review the first draft, I will have that ready by Friday. If you’re interested, please let me know so that I can e-mail it to you.

“I hate reality television. If I wanted to see conmen humiliate themselves, I’d watch C-SPAN.”

Overheard at a college tutoring center…   

No, the Underground Railroad was not the world’s first subway system…   I don’t care what Wikipedia told you.