A friend of a friend (who graduated from a pharmacy school with a 2.5/4.0 GPA) has supposedly been offered $3 million to spend six years as a permanent resident in a remote region of Alaska. Is that remotely believable?
I can definitely relate to the protagonist of this article.
Arizona State University student Alex Botsios said he had no problem giving a nighttime intruder his wallet and guitars.
When the man asked for Botsios’ laptop, however, the first-year law student drew the line.
“I was like, ‘Dude, no — please, no!” Botsios said. “I have all my case notes…that’s four months of work!”
Police said Gabriel Saucedo entered Botsios’ apartment through an open window early Thursday morning. When Botsios woke up, Saucedo threatened him with a baseball bat, police said.
He was just like, ‘I’m going to smash your head in,'” Botsios said.
At that point, the law student wrestled the bat away and began punching Saucedo, Botsios said.
“I basically grabbed him and threw him this way, and he held onto the bat so it threw him to the ground,” he said.
Police said they took Saucedo to the hospital for stitches before they arrested him on charges of armed robbery and kidnapping. Other than a bruised knuckle and a few scratches, Botsios was unharmed.
Michael Crichton was one of the only modern novelists to have a lot of success with single-word titles. He passed away today, so to commemorate his memory we have a one-word title for this parting post.
When a network decides at the last moment to use another episode as the pilot, it’s essentially admitting that the first episode is too awful to air. So they switch to something that was never meant to be used as a pilot in the first place. Smooth. That would be like an NFL coach telling his quarterback that he didn’t like the way he was throwing with his right arm, so he should play the next game with just his left. A surefire plan for success!
The New York Times confirms that the Alaskan state trooper in “Troopergate” is actually Matt Parkman, a former police officer best known for his psychic abilities and contributing to the rampant power inflation in the second season of Heroes. She probably had him fired after he tried to give her some of the African crazy-beans that he’s been gorging on for the last two episodes. “They’ll let you see the future!” Riiiiight.
The Associated Press reports that a judge in Ohio offered to cut a fine for blaring rap music if the defendant listened to 20 hours of classical music. The defendant lasted 15 minutes.
Today we got an e-mail that asked “who’s paying you to crank this [expletive] out, the CIA?” Well, no. As far as I know, the CIA doesn’t offer grants for superhero novels, even kickass ones with accountants and mutant alligators from Homeland Security. In fact, judging by my ramen account, it looks like no one is paying us to write this novel.
This isn’t government-sponsored national service, but I think that twelve stitches and a hell of a lot of ass-kicking earn the tag.
A Tulsa newspaper reports that a Batman imposter walked into a grocery store and unsuccessfully tried to open fire. Then an airline mechanic tackled him from behind. Several minutes of unrelenting pounding ensued.
City Journal wrote a well-researched article on the future of conservative nonfiction, but I’d like to make a larger point about political nonfiction. “Since the new conservative imprints have far less latitude than traditional nonfiction imprints to fail, they tend to rely heavily on, and largely be defined by, a handful of proven iconic authors.” It’s probably true that smaller publishers have to be wary about rolling the dice with noncelebrities. But, because of blogging, I think that it’s tremendously difficult for a non-celebrity of any political persuasion to publish political nonfiction. Readers can find blogs that offer any style of political thought for free. Some blogs are exceedingly well-written and intelligent. So why would anyone want to pay for your opinion? Because you’re someone who has an invaluable perspective because you used to be a President, a secretary of state, or are a hugely popular talk-radio host, etc…*
Observations from the Balcony suggests it is because mysteries are helped more by cinema than other forms of literary fiction. I’d lay out two alternate theories: 1) it’s far easier to make a detective story intriguing and interactive, because the readers can solve the case alongside the detective. 2) The premises, particularly in detective mysteries, are easier to sell than exotic premises that use magic or advanced technology.
Additionally, I think it’s slightly easier to write mysteries…
The New York Times wrote an article on women bloggers titled Blogging’s Glass Ceiling, which they put in the “Fashion and Style” section. Comedically speaking, I don’t think there’s anything I can add to that.
While I’m striving to write a book that I hope will be some kind of bestseller, I never forget that I’m also striving to write a book that *I* would want to read if I saw it on the shelf.
That is badly misguided. Whether you want to buy your book is irrelevant. You are not the audience of your book. Publishers do not want to publish a book for you. Publishers need to sell thousands of copies and they want books with that sort of appeal.
Authors that write a book they want to read tend to lose sight of the audience. I think that leads to self-absorbed and completely ineffective titles like “The Legend of Edarotag” and “Cimmeria’s Song*”. It may contribute to in-jokes and references that no one can relate to. As a rule, I think it’s safe to say that no one finds your interests as interesting as you do.
In conclusion, your career will probably be more successful if you forget about what you want to read and focus on finding what you can (and would be proud to) sell.
*These are both fictional titles (try reversing the letters in Edarotag). I hope that demonstrated how easily in-jokes can disgruntle mass audiences.
The authors that try to present political or religious opinions usually confuse their opinions with insights. How is your message different from what people have already heard about abortion? For example, your readers have already heard many people chant “abortion is good” and “abortion is bad.” Is your story just another voice in the chorus or will it actually add something? Why will anyone care about your opinion? Do you have any unique perspective on the subject material? Do you have relevant professional or scholarly experience? Are you personally affected by the issue? Etc.
When authors or fans challenge negative reviews, they sometimes say something like “what have you written, because I bet it’s awful.” I think that reflects a fundamentally wrong conception of reviewing. Every day, people evaluate and suggest things without any experience of having made them. For example, over the past few years I’ve suggested that friends stay away from (ugly) Pontiac Azteks, (shoddy) Craftsman tools, and (inedible) McDonald’s food. But I’ve never designed a car, built a tool and hardly ever cook. Does my lack of experience disqualify me as a relevant reviewer?
The creator of Heroes, Tim Kring, has promised that season 3 will have more villains. Yes, more characters… that’s exactly what Heroes needed.
“You’re going to see a lot of bad guys,” he said to Sci Fi Wire. “We’re playing off the idea of our characters as heroes or villains. So it’s really the duality of good and evil.” T.K., I will see your duality of good and evil and raise you character development, interesting traits and a well-rounded cast. For one, I’d start by killing off about half the cast…
Given that Superhero Nation suggests that “the Tunuska event” was not a meteor hitting the Earth but actually a botched alien invasion, we should probably note that it hit Siberia 100 years ago today. Excellently, that gives us 6 years of empty space to fill in what the aliens were doing before they started WWI.
After 1908, 1912 is probably my favorite year. The US finally adds a 48th state (Arizona), the Titanic sinks, the Red Sox beat New York to win the World Series in what may be the finest game of baseball ever played, the Marines land on Cuba, and a “meteor” hits Holbrook, Arizona. If you don’t see the sinister connections between these events, don’t worry! It took us a book to parse our way through the web of lies.
Discovery Channel covered the discovery of a cave full of ancient Egyptian shipping cords.
Amazingly, these ropes were stored in the same way as nowadays sailors store their shipping cords — just coiling and tighting them in the middle,” archaeologist and rope analyst Andre Veldmeijer told Discovery News.
I imagine that his kids somehow fake illness to get out of Take Your Kids to Work Day.
“Ulysses is a totally incomprehensible book. Understanding it is like machine-gunning a pack of unicorns.Anyone that claims to have done either is lying, but should be institutionalized anyway.”
I assigned a research paper. This time around, the students were to elucidate the positions of scholars on two sides of a historical controversy. Why did Truman remove MacArthur? Did the United States covertly support the construction of the Berlin Wall? Their job in the paper, as I explained it, was to take my arm and introduce me as a stranger to scholars A, B, and C, who stood on one side of the issue, and to scholars D, E, and F, who were firmly on the other—as though they were hosting a party.
A future state trooper snorted. “Some party,” he said.
In Britain, a man dressed as Darth Vader has been spared jail-time for drunkenly attacking two Star Wars fans (“Jedi worshippers”) with a metal crutch. Ah, Britain.
And other strange, strange news from the heartland.
The “Funeral Day Burglar” has been caught in Platt City, Missouri. He targeted his victims by checking the obituaries and funeral schedules, figuring that the homes of the deceased would be vacant during their funerals. No word yet on whether his home will receive unexpected visitors during his arraignment.
A Pennsylvania judge has banned four women from Pennsylvania malls after saying “they descended on Pennsylvania like a plague of locusts.” Fortunately, West Virginia and Ohio, those lands flowing with milk and honey and lightly guarded shopping malls, are still open to them. But will the judge let those people go?
The Associated Press provides us this lovely nugget about a wedding that featured a karate kick from the groom to the bride. (“That’ll teach you to ask for a prenuptial!”)
PITTSBURGH– A newlywed couple spent the night in separate jail cells — she in her wedding gown — after police said they brawled with each other, then members of another wedding party, at a suburban Pittsburgh hotel.
The fight started Saturday night after a reception when he knocked her to the floor with a karate kick in the seventh-floor hallway of a Holiday Inn, according to police. It escalated when she attacked two guests from another wedding party who came to her aid, police said.
The melee moved to an elevator and then to the lobby, where the couple threw metal planters at the two guests of the other party, causing minor injuries, police charged.
“It was pretty wild,” Ross police Sgt. Dave Syska said.
After politely explaining to the alligator that “public facility” actually meant “intruders-will-be-shot” didn’t work, they quickly showed Mr. Gator the door.
I have no evidence to suggest that this was in any way related to aliens posing as mutated alligators, but then again they’re usually pretty good about covering their tracks…
According to Salon, “it’s really a hot media fantasy: Mutant Superdelegates Pick Nominee!” For the record, I do not think that mutants are likely to select the nominee. Unless Salon knows something I don’t…
Come on. If mutants did have the power to pick a nominee, why has Ron “Magneto” Paul done so poorly in the Republican race?
The Batman was terrible. If you’re mainly watching this for comedic potential, I’d get as many Spanish-speakers or gringos as you can find, and let’s learn about the difference between “el” and “la” with Batman. –There’s a spectacularly strange scene where Batman tries interrogating Riddler and Riddler bursts into a soprano rendition of Ave Maria. […]
–There’s intense violence but not a lot of feeling here. It’s not a very exciting movie. But it’s functional. It’s frequently tedious but rarely boring. Only the political sermons and Weasel are viciously bad. It’s definitely a huge improvement over the first movie. –Most of what sucked about Suicide Squad 1 was an overfocus on […]
1:30 – 6:55: Cyborg sees his Mother Box acting up. Then Mera sees her Mother box acting up. Then Amazon guards see their Mother Box acting up. Also there’s a Lex Luthor flashback where the computer shows him that Mother Boxes are plot relevant in case you missed that. PS: In the first 8 minutes […]
–Wonder Woman 1984 is not nearly as good at the original. Pluses: the cast is still very charming, and a few of the fight scenes are effective. I did actually like most of the first hour of the movie. –Setting: In the original Wonder Woman, the WWI setting contributes to a hard bleakness which effectively […]
1. I don’t know where to start with Captain Marvel. So many things went so wildly wrong that we’d need a presidential commission to get to the bottom of it. It’s like the Chernobyl of superhero movies. 2. If at any point you feel like your action movie would benefit from a character whose main […]
1. This version of Spider-Man is a useless toolbox who actively avoids doing interesting things, and what he does attempt is usually wimpy and/or incompetent. 2. Unlike most main characters, his choices don’t matter much. For example, he chooses to leave his supersuit at home (but his aunt sneaks it in anyway) and he tries […]
We’re up to 72 superhero movies since 2000 (current as of November 2017). You can download the full data here. Some observations: R movies are making up the quality gap with PG-13 movies. Superhero movies are improving. Over the last 5 years (2013-2017), the average superhero movie is averaging 70% on Rotten Tomatoes, up […]
