Oct 27 2008
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This isn’t related to superheroes or writing, but might be interesting if you like US history. In US politics, certain decade-long trends tend to recur every thirty years: warfare, conservative dominance, and liberal dominance.
Oct 21 2008
A few days ago, a Senator modestly informed an audience that “I’ve forgotten more about foreign policy than most of my colleagues know, so I’m not being falsely humble with you.” Who would have thought that a Senator had to defend himself against charges of humility?
Sep 05 2008
Inquiring minds will want to check out Marvel’s Secret Invasion.
I’ve never been a fan of the Skrulls, Marvel’s standard shape-shifting alien villains. Sort of like an Atlantean invasion, aliens feel so far removed from the standard Marvel setting that the effect is campy rather than sinister. It’s also extremely hard to write an interesting alien invasion plot. Marvel seems to be treating this plotline like it’s novel, but the concept of a secret alien invasion is pretty tired (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the second Wild Cards novel, Animorphs). “Benevolent” alien invasions aren’t much better (The Day The Earth Stood Still and maybe The Happening).
I found the ads for Secret Invasion above-average, but more because the slogan “Embrace Change” is vaguely threatening and sounds like it came from a US political campaign.
Aug 19 2008
Historians that try to pack centuries of information into a single book often fail disastrously because they cannot give each event the length it deserves. Not surprisingly, Howard Zinn’s People’s History of the United States is a bit flitty, even at 750 pages. For example, the first eight chapters focus on…
Jul 17 2008
Vanity Fair had one of its journalists get waterboarded. Without getting bogged down in political and ethical debates, I think this piece is useful even for authors, even the authors of sword-and-spells fantasies. Could learning to write barrages of vivid and lurid imagery help your story? If so, keep reading.
Jul 11 2008
The authors that try to present political or religious opinions usually confuse their opinions with insights. How is your message about, say, abortion different from what people have already heard about abortion? Your readers have already heard many people chant “abortion is good” and “abortion is bad.” Is your story just another voice in the chorus or will it actually add something? Why will anyone care about your opinion? Do you have any unique perspective on the subject material? Do you have relevant professional or scholarly experience? Are you personally affected by the issue? Etc.
Jun 14 2008
In Article 1, Section 8, the Constitution lists Congress’ authority to establish copyright protection for authors before its authority to declare war or raise an army, but after its power to establish a post office. Go figure!
May 25 2008
For a tangent from our comic book offerings, J.M. presents these five questions guaranteed to tell whether you’re a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or Communist.
What does America need more of?
Democrat: Tolerance.
Republican: Free-fire zones.
Libertarian: Porn stars.
Communist: Communists.
Who do you trust most to protect your liberties?
Democrat: The state.
Republican: Bush and Cheney.
Libertarian: Smith and Wesson.
Communist: Next question.
You hear that a politician had sex with 15 interns. How do you feel?
Republican: Enraged.
Libertarian: Jealous.
Democrat: My attorney has advised me not to answer any questions.
Communist: Eh… a man of the people is still just a man.
Why do you tolerate your political enemies?
Democrat: They have the guns.
Republican: I feel bad beating up sissies.
Libertarian: I’ve got enough drugs to go around.
Communist: Because anyone can be re-educated.
How would you react if you heard that the government was reinstating the draft?
Republican: Basra or Bust!
Democrat: I wonder what Toronto’s weather is like.
Libertarian: Not too worried. I’ve got so many drug arrests I’d send draft officers running to Canada.
Communist: I hope I’m not a minesweeper.
May 20 2008
John McCain was surprisingly funny but I think that was mostly because his lines were well-written. His delivery was merely above-average, although I thought he delivered “that’s right, fight amongst yourselves” amazingly well.
However, he sounded a bit stiff and it didn’t help that he rarely looked at the correspondents he was (supposedly) talking to. Also, I think his lack of blinking is a bit distracting and unnatural. These quibbles are pretty minor. I wouldn’t feel too concerned if I were on his media prep team.
His main problem was that he took too long to get started. Generally, I think a comedian should have the audience laughing within twenty words. The audience started laughing at 78, and I missed the first joke.
His introduction rambled gratuitously.
Thank you Seth, Amy. I’d like to begin tonight by thanking Republican voters. We’re gearing up for one of the most critical elections in our nation’s history and I’m honored to be part of it. I’d like to thank Democrats. I know we don’t see eye to eye on every issue. That’s why I want to give you this piece of advice. Democrats, I’d like to urge you, do not under any circumstances pick a candidate too soon…
[Laughter]
May 04 2008
The root of evil is not money. It is the metric system, a strange cult that worships the number ten. It starts with a meter here and a newton there, and soon enough you’re selling kilos of crack to kids.
–Agent Orange
Apr 30 2008
For an explanation of the Jimmy Carter killer rabbit attack, please see here.
If you would like this bumper-sticker on your car, you can look at it here. We’re selling it for $4, of which $.45 goes to the “Save the Starving English-Major Fund.” No pressure! Five will buy us a McDonald’s fish sandwich, 15 will buy us a Chipotle burrito, and 25 will buy us a panini sandwich and a glass of orgo-soy milk. [B. Mac adds: anyone that spends $3 on a glass of milk, let alone FAKE milk, deserves to starve].
Perhaps you’ve heard the proverb that teaching a man to fish goes farther than giving him a fish sandwich. That’s true. “So how can I teach a starving English-major to feed himself, Cadet Davis?” Well… if you’re feeling especially generous and have a large vehicle (like a hummer or an aircraft carrier), I’d estimate that I’m 250,000 249,998 bumper-stickers south of an English degree. At that point, I still won’t be able to pay for my own food, but at least I’ll know how to write grant proposals.
[B. Mac adds: hey, don't forget the Starving Political-Scientist Fund! These bumper-stickers don't write themselves, you know. *winks*]
Apr 29 2008
Agent Orange Campaign Poster: BELIEVE
This poster is a sendup of Shepard Fairey’s campaign posters for Barack Obama.
This poster can be purchased for $10 here. (Our art may LOOK communist, but we’re not).
Apr 28 2008
Oiur resident political scientist plays with the numbers and concludes that Hillary Clinton could very well end up winning the popular vote.
Apr 28 2008
The current crop of presidential candidates leaves us yearning for someone who can plausibly claim the mantle of Commando in Chief. By a vote of 2-1-1-1, Agent Black beats Catastrophe, Lash and Paingod as our preferred candidate. As far as presidential candidates go, I think these runner-ups aren’t bad (certainly more credible than Huckabee or Biden), but they have several key electoral disadvantages compared to Agent Black.
If you would like to see this pin at our Zazzle store, please click here.
Note: you may have noticed that this post isn’t tagged with the “National Service” category. That isn’t accidental.
Apr 15 2008
It is only when a politician speaks clearly that he is required to “clarify” himself.
–paraphrased from Thomas Sowell
Apr 14 2008
“Gator Nation is more like a cult than a nation, but there are elements of patriotism mixed in with its religiosity.”
–An anonymous LSU sociologist, shortly before bursting into tears
This LSU supporter’s comment is reasonably insightful. But the bonds between Gator Nation, patriotism and faith are actually tighter than he knows. The Gator Gods will wreak horrible fates on teams that prove unworthy…
Apr 09 2008
Apr 06 2008
Agent Orange, everybody’s favorite mutated alligator, has this friendly public service announcement for the residents of California’s 4th district.
Theodore Terbolizard is running for Congress. We all are in grave danger. Lizards are pathologically dishonest, which is why they love to sell car insurance and overpriced water. And run for Congress.
But this candidate is not merely a lizard. He is, by his own confession, a Turbolizard. He will run Congress so depravedly as to make the rest of Congress look good.
Unsurprisingly, his lizard cronies have rallied to his defense. “We need more lizards in office,” says a lizard named “Sharmuta”. Or should I say Shamuta?
What does Turbolizard stand for, besides pathological deception and nefariousness? “I am opposed to the use of terrorism… since the end of World War II, the United States has continually meddled in the internal affairs of Iran, and I am opposed to this interventionist policy.” How typically lizardly. He is allegedly opposed to terrorism but opposes any action against terrorists! This is like saying “I’m OK with mammals, but mammal-killing is a fine choice, too.”
It is safe to say that a vote for Turbolizard is a vote for the turbo-genocide of mammals. I’m Agent Orange and anyone that doesn’t approve of this message is probably a lizard bent on your destruction.
