Jan 14 2008
Five Ways to Write Sizzling Fight Scenes (Superhero and Fantasy)
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This article will teach you how to get the girl and save the world in 400 words.
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Immerse us in the scene.
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Engage as many senses as possible, particularly the visceral ones (touch, smell, taste).
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Avoid anything that makes your readers wonder what’s happening. It may help to create a diagram of the scene so that you know what’s happening. One frequent area of confusion is how far away the characters are from each other.
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Don’t put in too many characters.
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Each additional character dilutes the fight and makes it harder to visualize the fight in real-time.
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I highly recommend capping your fights to 3 people at a time. If you really want more combatants, I’d recommend writing the battle as a series of 2-3 person duels rather than a battle royale with 8+ fighters. This was a problem in Soon I Will Be Invincible.
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In comic books and movies, the superhero mows down waves of mooks to show off his powers. Is that necessary for a novel or short story? Probably not. You don’t have any visual special effects to show off. The main advantage a written work has against a visual work is drama, but fighting faceless and hopeless enemies is rarely dramatic.
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Be creative.
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How do your characters interact with the scenery? Brainstorm a few items or props that are in the scene and try to work in a few when the hero gets desperate. Using props helps remind readers that the hero and villain aren’t fighting in a vacuum.
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Try to have your hero use his powers in an unexpected way. We’ll expect a shapeshifting hero to copy a guard or the villain to infiltrate the villain’s lair and rescue his girlfriend. But we won’t expect him to copy his girlfriend and get captured in her place.
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Let your hero improvise. Throw a few wrenches in his carefully laid plans. If your supervillain really is a genius, surely he will anticipate some of the things your hero will try. (The forcefield generators will be within the forcefields, dammit!)
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Make it suspenseful– you may find these elements helpful.
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Stealth and desperation. Typically, heroic efforts that are stealthy and/or desperate are more suspenseful because any false step could result in failure. In contrast, it’s less suspenseful for a hero to barrel into the villain’s lair because readers know that there’s no chance a faceless mook will kill the hero.
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Ticking clocks. If the hero has 15 minutes to defuse the bomb or 48 hours to get the medicine to Nome, that adds urgency to the plot. Perhaps the most successful example of this was D.O.A., where the main character gets fatally poisoned and has to solve his own murder.
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Strong side-characters. If we feel for the damsel-in-distress, we’d care a lot more whether the hero is able to rescue her. We’re more likely to feel for her if she’s well-developed and has a distinct personality. I recommend looking at Teri Hatcher’s Lois Lane in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.
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A suicidally determined hero. If the audience knows that the hero thinks that success is beating the villain—not coming home alive– then we’ll wonder whether the hero will survive. Whether he does or not, there will be more suspense.
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Keep it as short as possible.
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Generally, fights should be the climax of action chapters, rather than the bulk of the action chapters. Dragging out a fight scene for pages typically feels pretty tedious. The worst-case scenario is that the fight will feel like a scrolling list of hits the hero and villain are landing on each other. Eww.
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Another thing I think is important in superhero fighting scenes is that you don’t say something like “It was as if time slowed down.” In a real fight with fists and feet flying in every direction do you really think that it would feel as time slowed down? No. Now if your character is in the middle of the fight and time slows down because he has that power and didn’t know it thats different, but a little *cough* extremely *cough* carried away. Unless your character JUST got their powers they probably know them by now.
“In a real fight with fists and feet flying in every direction do you really think that it would feel as time slowed down?”
Actually, adrenaline really does have that effect on some people– making everything seem to slow down. For other people it’s the opposite; everything feels like it’s moving too fast, and they can’t react quickly enough. The latter would certainly be an interesting weakness in a superhero…
“For other people it’s the opposite; everything feels like it’s moving too fast…” Adrenaline can slow down your reflexes? That’s very interesting from an evolutionary perspective. I wonder which conditions would make it advantageous to have slow reflexes. I’m more familiar with the standard cliche that survivors of near-death experiences will say that their lives “flashed before their eyes”. Adrenaline can induce intense mental activity and quicken reflexes, to facilitate the fight-or-flight response. In some cases the burst of energy and dopamine lead to a manic state, which may explain the origins of the phrase “trigger-happy” and Winston Churchill’s contention that “nothing is as exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”
As for explaining heavy-adrenaline scenes in fiction, I find it believable to either describe it from an observer’s detached perspective (a crazy flurry of punches and kicks) or from the character’s adrenaline-fueled perspective, which would process the same events at a slower and more manageable pace. Another consideration how well-trained the character has been. Many times, a soldier explaining how he responded under fire will say that his training “kicked in.” Experienced soldiers likely have better reflexes and you may also wish to consider the possibility that a soldier’s reaction to being fired upon is mostly subconscious.
Even though I probably won’t, say I chose to write a novel instead of a comic. How could I effectively describe Sketch using his power. I know his superpowers probably don’t work well for a novel but could you give me a short fighting or action sequence that would effectively show him using his powers.
It would probably be extremely difficult, try anyway anything will help. Just use any object you want him to summon that’s convenient.
Hmm, that’s a good question. I’ll come up with a page, but I’d like to do it justice. Check back in 2-3 days.
Have you started the page? or are you too busy? I can wait. This is just a reminder.
I got sidetracked by a thesis deadline but am still working on it.
If you haven’t already, you can quit the page. Unless you haven’t, in which case I would like to see it.
How can I write a scene where Isaac is simply disarming someone, rather than kicking butt and getting his butt kicked? In one part he gets a gun shoved into his face, and I want him to make the guy drop it. How can I do that? Thanks!
What exactly are Isaac’s powers?
He has increased intelligence (but is not a genius), can run a bit faster and is a bit stronger than most guys his age (but this isn’t often used). His main abilities are mental. He can turn the air around him into energy, and is able to direct it at people or objects in order to knock them backwards. He also fires it outwards to fly.
I haven’t had cause for any major fight scenes yet, just one where he’s fending off some school bullies and one where he simply disarms a robber (which is what I need help with). But I’m keeping an archive of descriptions and basic fights to drop in when I need them. I just wrote this:
What do you think?
Makes since to me, then again I don’t know much about fight scenes. Here one from the top of my head, just because!
I tried to establish a character voice, but it sounded pretty generic, I think.
Suggestions? Opinions?
I could have probably remove the line about having to transform to conjure water, and I probably need a filler sentence between “water gushed from my mouth ‘and’ Always works, it feels to quick (I think).
I think it’s okay, but maybe you could describe the looks on the thugs’ faces. Like: “I grinned in amusement as their aggressive expressions became looks of horror, and they looked about ready to run”. As for a filler sentence, how about: “The water rushed outwards, splashing against them and knocking them off their feet”. If it’s very powerful, maybe something about them getting dragged away for a small distance before getting up and calling for reinforcements.
Wow, looking back over my fight scene, it needs alot of revision. But then again most pieces need to be fleshed out and redone, so I don’t feel bad about the mistakes.
They’re trying to make me into a Critters critiquer, maybe I’ll do it, it would be something to do at least. I’m not very interested or invested in the site though.
Wow, that’s alot of reading, 17,000 words. Geez Loiuse!!
As a younger writer, I was never enthused to get advice like “read everything!”, but one of the things that I’ve come to appreciate is how much reading develops an author’s writing skills.
The following is intended to be partly humorous and is written purely for amusement and will not be part of my book.
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Alex surveyed the marketplace, breathing the crisp autumn air. He felt like king of the world. Just today he had bullied 6 merchants and caused the inexplicable explosions of 3 fruit stands: a new personal best. “That’ll show those prejudiced humans,” he thought.
Alex then left the marketplace and headed out of town, towards the Nuba river. As he approached the bank, he saw a strange figure sitting beside the water. Alex drew his sword, and called him out.
“Who are you? Stand and face me!”
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Normally my narration would be better, but I don’t feel like making it floury, so lets cut to the chase. Also, all powers your character has or will have may be used, even if they haven’t come up in story yet, with 2 conditions:
1. We should have some kind of order/escalation rule.
i.e. we start with the power level our characters have at the beginning and increase. No skipping.
2. Please, nothing too ridiculous. What’s too ridiculous? Alex setting the entire earth on fire, or taking control of the sun would be too ridiculous. Use your judgment.
Let’s do this!
Adrian stood up hearing the call of another young boy. He looked up at the boy pulling his feet out of the cool clean water. “Adrian is my name, and if you don’t know it now, you will later. I’m going to be famous one day” he said standing up and putting his shoes back on.
“I don’t know who you are or what’s up with that hair color and ears, but you need to get that sword out of my face” he said moving the blade aside.
“Oh you must be an half alien like me, what’s the matter can’t control your transformations” he teased.
“Whatever, I’ve got a monologue to rehearse, no time for you kid!” he said turning away to leave.
“I’m a half-elf, actually. And I’m not finished talking to you yet.” Alex waved his had, barring Adrian’s way with a wall of fire.
“Let’s talk, ‘kid’. Why are you here, what’s an alien, and what on earth are you wearing?”
well, his “hand” obviously. Not his “had” whatever the heck that is.
“Look up, dummy” Adrian pointed up to the sky
“Aliens are a bunch of creatures that live in space, I’m a half one. Elves?! What, are you gonna bake cookies inside a tree?” he teased again with a laugh.
“My clothes, this is called style, I see this city has never heard of that. And as for my reason of being here that’s none of your business. Get that stupid fire away from me, I’m drying up!!!” Adrian flicks his wrist, releasing him chemicals, the water shoots from the river dousing the fire wall.
“You’re not the only one with tricks, so don’t try to upstage me!!” Adrian walks over to Alex glaring in his face. “Stage is set, make a move buddy.”
“Have you ever heard of spontaneous human combustion? I assure you its quite painful!” Alex engulfed his sword in fire and slashed the air, sending an arc of flame towards Adrian. He followed up with several firebursts as he advanced toward his new nemesis.
“Fire and Water. This should be fun.”
“Hah, fire, no problem” Adrian brings up a wall of water stopping the the fire, the steam evaporated from the wall
“Gotcha now!!” Adrian said turning the steam from the wall into thin water needles, firing them at Alex, along with a stream of focus water beams.
“Human combustion?!, hah, try dying of tremendous water pressure”
Alex shot up into the air on a jet of flame, stalled, and then plummeted to the groud, unleashing a wave of fire that evaporated Adrian’s conjurations. (couldn’t think of a better word.)
“Been there, done that. Your tactics are starting to remind me of Kiturah. Nice try, but no cigar!” Alex sho a fireball that exploded in midair, sending a wave of heat and concussive force toward Adrian. “Exit stage right kid!”
*Note: FYI, Kiturah is Karen’s little sister. Her powers are water-based, but she’s not on level with Alex and Karen.*
Hey, Brett, check your forum when you get the chance. I’m probably 75% done with the review of your rewrite.
“I don’t know who Kiturah is, but she ain’t got nothin on my skills” Adrian said propelling upwards on a water spout. The spout absorbed the concussive blast and fire, abruptly faltering and then reforming in a spiral. “Can Kiturah do this? I call them mist clones” Adrian said as the water spout dissipated into a thick fog, engulfing the fighting area. While in the fog Adrian made a series of water clones the same color as the mist. Under the heavy cover of the fog, the clones circled Alex moving in to attack.
“You won’t even see them coming!”
Oops, that last comment was me, not Flareblade.
“I don’t have to see them coming. You can’t hit what you can’t touch.” Alex rode into the air on a jet of flame, soaring above the battfield. He then easily picked off the water clones from above. He then absorbed the heat from the ground below, condensing the fog into liquid water.
“Lets review,” He said with a smirk, hovering above Adrian. “I’m capable of true flight. You’re not. I just dissipated your fog and eliminated your distractions. And now I will take my power to the next level.” Alex shot down toward the ground, unleashing a wave of fire upon landing. He then perfomed a series of wuick hand motions, creating a swirling pillar of fire that he launched toward Adrian.
“Counter that!”
“Next level ,huh” Adrian said diving into the river. Almost as soon as he dived in, he shot out of the water in his transformed state inside of a thick water spout. “I’ll show ya next level” he and a series of water spout rushed towards the charging opponent. “I may not be able to fly, but I can swim in the air” Adrian said, the water spouts collided with the smaller waves of fire. Adrian winched as the fire pillar drew closer to his great water wave. Just before the pillar and water spout clash, Adrian branched out of the larger spout into a smaller one rocketing towards Alex.
“Your fire is nothing, it’s you I want” he said preparing his sharp scaled tail for the emmenent clash.
Note:
In his alien form, Adrian still has legs, he’s not a merman. He has one tail that sprouts into three smaller tails vertically attached by webbing. The tail sprouts from his lower back and can easily wrap around him twice. Just helping with the imagery.
“Impressive. Most impressive.” Alex dodged to the side and vaulted over Adrian, firing shafts of flame down below, with minimal results.
“Your new form is…interesting, but it will not avail you!” Alex attempted to blow Adrian away with a huge combustive blast, but was greeted only with a small spark. He then realized that the sun was setting, and the moon was rising.
“No! Not now! AAAAGHH!!” As the day turned to night, Alex’s brown eyes turned blood red, and black fur began to spread over his body. “I cannot contain the SAVAGERY!!!” Alex roared, releasing himself from the bonds of humanity(well half anyway), and plunging himself into his new lupine form. He howled at the moon. When he spoke, his voice was lower and more snarling than before. “The night my have robbed me of my fire and my original form, and the moon may grant you power, but when life gives you lemons, beat the crap out of somebody!” Alex walked over to the nearest tree and ripped it from the ground with his newfound strength. He then hurled it toward Adrian like a javelin. “I’m a vegetarian, but have a kabob!”
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To visualize: Alex is now a human/wolf lycanthrope with black fur and blood red eyes. He gains superstrength, supersenses (nightvision, hearing, smell, etc.), speedm and reflexes in this state, but loses his fire powers. He is also slightly more savage.
“Wow, and I thought you couldn’t get uglier”Adrian said “You are right though in the moonlight my power is increases” his scales turned from pearlescent blue to to a polished silver color that gleamed with with slime in the moonlight. Adrian jetted to the side his arm harshly grazing the tree, causing him to lose focus and his water spout fell dropping him to the ground.
He strained to pick himself up “Lucky shot” he smirked at Alex “Well if you can’t contain your savagery, maybe I can” from his pores, his body sprayed a thick sheen of extremely sticky paste at Alex.
“I mean how savage can you be if you can’t move?” he said charging on foot behind his wall of paste towards Alex.
Alex grabbed another tree and vaulted over the wall of paste, landing and swinging furiously at Adrian.
“I have faced dragons, shades, and morbidly vengeful would-be girlfriends. I cannot be stopped!” he shouted. He then brazenly leaped toward adrian and prepared to execute several close-range melee attacks.
” Oh yeah, well I’ve faced killer thugs, killer aliens, and the killer school system, I’m ready for anything” Adrian conjured water claws for him hands “The moon will definitely help me for this part” he conjured two very accurate water clones equipped with water claws.
“Bring it, biatch!!” the clones and Adrian triangulated Alex attacking with their claws and tails, forcing Alex into defense.
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Can we have our character hitting each other? I think that would add to the fight. No instant kills though.
Sure.
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Alex slashed through the water clones and barreled toward Adrian with full force and determination. He grabbed him and threw him up into the air, hurling him as far away as possible from the river. He then shot after him, running like a gazelle.
“I will separate you from your source of power.”
Adrian recovered in the air using his tail as a buffer when he landed on the ground in the market. “What makes you think that was the source of my powers” he said with a sneer. “I’ll show you MY power.”
He opened his mouth upward to the sky and a gushing stream of water blasted out raining down over the market in a series of needles creating a thick dome of death, he then focused his needle spray towards the charging Alex.
“There’s no escape now, face it!!” Adrian gurgled. His eyes widened as his scales began to flicker, his DNA was going unstable, he had to hurry.
Alex heard and saw the approaching needles, and racked his brain for a plan. He quickly dodged between the sharp spikes, relying on his lupine instincts and reflexes to ensure his safety. He drew his sword, which he had almost forgotten about, and began slashing through the curtain of ice. He then felt weak, and slightly dizzy as a tingle crept over his body. He fell. He noticed the rain of ice slackening, and turned his attention to the horizon. It was dawn. The savage wolf form faded away, and as day broke, Alex felt all at once the fatigue of fighting through the long night hours. But then, the sun rose, and in it Alex found new strength as the rain of ice continued to grow weaker. Alex stood, smiling. Though the man-wolf was gone, Alex had retained the red eyes.
“You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun!” Alex enveloped his body and sword in flame, effortlessly melting through the icy spikes which had before seemed so threatening.
“Now, let’s try this again,” he said, clapping his hands together to release a huge explosion upon Adrian.
” Aah!!” Adrian yelled out the strain on his DNA was too high “Jimelly warned be of this.” Adrian began to morph furiously sprouting all sorts of weird appendiges before finally exploding and reforming into an ancient Akarion (his half-alien race). The ancient Akarions were far superior to the current breed of them,they were cover by a special water, Adrian lost his mind in the form. He stood and embraced the attack head on, exploding in to a puddle of water. He stayed in the liquified state moving to alex at high speed, slashing at him vigorously, before moving back and reforming.
“The living water is the strongest of all water” Adrian said in two voices. “No, not like this, I can beat him” Adrian fought the alien, but couldn’t win.
“Prepare to die, child” he said leaning in and practically teleporting to Alex Slashing at him with water claws.
Alex was thrown by the attack, as well as this new form of his new adversary. He quickly encircled himself in a protective orb of fire, like a miniature sun, thwarting the attacks. He lashed out sporadically with flares and fire whips, holding his ground, and waiting.
“That creature is controlling his mind. If there is any hope to free him of it, or for me to win, I will need Maesirturon’s help. I must remain here until he arrives and pray that my power does not run too low.”
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Maesirturon- Ales’s phoenix guide, one of the Three Guardians.
“Free me! I’m one with this boy. If you get rid of me you will kill him too” the creature said laughing. He spun up a ball of water like a miniature moon, and began to clash with Alex’s sun. “Stupid alien, I can beat this kid” Adrian began to rip from the alien pushing away as he was violently lashed with water. “And I don’t need your help” Adrian looked at Alex furiously. “This body is mine” the water ball began to jerk violently ripping apart Adrian from his alien overtaker. The water fell and Adrian knelt on the ground in his original alien form, he had won the inner battle, but the battle here was just getting good. “See, told ya I can beat it, thanks for the concern, but no thanks” Adrian stod fatigued and battered, but his will to fight was still strong.
“As you can see, you’re winning so far, but now it’s time to change the tides”. Adrian cast up a large fog covering the entire market area. he fog cleared Adrian and Alex stood in the heart of New Harbor City atop a large bridge over the Harbor River. “Your in my world now” Adrian conjured up a great water dome over the entire bridge, locking Alex into his opposite environment. “And with this high amount of water vapor in the air, I can fly” Adrian created water whips that lashed Alex back and forth before flying in for close combat.”I’ll admit you had me on the rope, but now your ass is grass!!!”
The dampness made it difficult for Alex to generate a flame, so instead he superheated his sword blade and resulted to melee combat, dodging, weaving, and striking with the red-hot blade.
Alex then recoiled and realigned himself into an elvish fighting stance. He spoke one word: “Brethir.” His eyes flashed red as he threw himself into the rapid, wolflike movements of a martial arts style all his own. He slashed, parried, and lunged, slicing the water whips as they came near him…except one that he didn’t quite see coming. Alex grunted as he fell to the ground. He got up and reassessed the situation. His blade returned to its normal silver sheen.
“This environment favors you, but I have one more trick up my sleeve. Your strength is also your weakness.” Alex held his sword in both hands, preparing to use it to channel an attack that he had only ever used once before. {Water conducts electricity}, he thought. {Electricity is a combination of light and fire energy. If I can generate a lightning bolt large enough, the battle will be mine.} Alex relaxed into another elvish stance, and was bathed in a fiery red aura. He knew that attempting this attack was dangerous without Karen to balance it, but he had to try. Electricity crackled around his body as he channeled the energy through his arms and into the sword, using it as a proxy. He could take no chances without Karen present. Soon he had charged enough energy.
“Now fry!” Alex released the energy, which leaped toward Adrian through the mist as a bolt of lightning, striking him full force. Alex slumped, leaning on his sword for balance. The attack had left him weak. His hands were badly burned and his sword was destroyed.
Alex looked down at his scarred hands. “They will heal soon enough. That’s one benefit of being half-elvish. But I may not last much longer without a sword. Let’s hope divine beings can do cross-dimensional travel, because I’m going to need Maesirturon’s help for this one.”
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Brethir is the elvish word for wolf, which Alex uses to invoke his signature fighting style. It is a form of Jioniskor (elvish martial art), but not a “legitimate” or recognized form because Alex invented it himself.
The bolt fried Adrian, singing his scales to a rugged brown, he fell to the dead. His vision blurred as he watched the kneeling Alex. “Damn, I’m passing out” Adrian said “What’s you name kid, you’re prety awesome with that fire”. “It’s Alex, and your use of water is quite exemplary” Alex said “I’m Adrian and–” he was interrupted by a powerful gust of black wind.
“Hello boy, I’m Master Iggy and reviewing you talents I’d love to recruit you in the Cyborn Moon Alliance”
Jimelly told me about him “No! we won’t join you, jerk” Adrian protested.
“What does he speak of” Alex asked.
“The Cyborn Moon is an alliance that goes aroun destroying planet for some ‘greater good’ “Adrian explained.
“Destroying planets?! we won’t join, in fact, have you heard of human combustion, I assure it’s quite painful” Alex said standing up in his elvish fighting stance. “Vaichar!!” he yelled jetting into the air towards the distant Master Iggy. As he flew he was quickly joined by a stream of water carrying Adrian. “I don’t know much about you, but you can fight and ya seem smart, lets do this”. The two charged towards Iggy for battle.
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I do still want the fight to go on, I just didn’t want either character to lose.
Master Iggy is extremely strong and fast as well as psychotic. He controls black wind and an explosive purple energy, he can teleport, and summon Mohawk ladies for attacking.
It’s time for the team action to begin.
The Fiery Pheonix and Moonlight Serpentine team up against the Pstchotic Megalomaniac!!!
Awesome!
At that moment, a majestic shriek pierced the air. Alex looked up to see a bright red firgure shooting through the air. It resembled a bird.
“Maesirturon! You have come to aid me,” Alex said.
“Yes hatchling,” The bird said in a awe-inspiring voice that strangely resembled Liam Neeson. “Time and space are meaningless limitations for a servant of the divine. I came as soon as I sensed you were in gravest danger. This ‘Iggy’ being is bound by a thread of evil that reaches across dimensions to Valigroth himself. You must aid Adrian in his quest if you have any hope to complete your own. As long as either of these threats stand, both will.”
“Yes master. Now, let us merge to defeat this villain.” After this, Alex and Maesirturon merged their very essences into one being. A being surrounded by a fire redder, hotter, and purer than any other in existence. A winged, angelic being wielding a great golden broadsword. Alex and Maesirturon had merged into the Fire of Zhudai.
“Now then Adrian, unleash your true form that we may do battle with this mortal.”
Adrian assumed his alien form and said, “__________”.
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You can fill in the blank, I don’t know how to write Adrian exactly. Take it away and break a leg! : )
The water that had fell on the bridge stood on end as did the water in the river, Adrian released him final water influencing chemical. The water wrapped itself around Adrian, entering evey pore on his body his body his alien form was truly the greatest. He evolved past even the natives Akarios (his alien races planet) into a new being, one only a human could attain. The Neo Hydra. This form was his to control, it looked distinctly human giving Adrian a more radiant pearlescence, diamond scales, aquatic wings also suitable for air, and two long tentacles that extend from the top of his shoulders. Each tentacle had a heads with finned ears, piercing orange eyes, and razor sharp teeth. “Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun” he and his other heads said.
He crystallized the very essence of water into a silver trident and said “I don’t know what you can do in that form, in fact, I don’t know what I can do, but be careful. This guy is not around to play aroung with something until it dies” Adrian said.
“I’m not that bad, is that what you think of me” Iggy pretended to cry “Well then fine I’ll toy with you indeed”. He threw of his cloak reveal his grotesque body, riddled with punctures, tumors, and pieces of random high tech machinery. “As you can see, I’ve had a little work done and when I’m through with you all, you’ll be just like me”
“You speak far too vainly, you must be put in your place” Zhudai said burning brighter. “Enough chatter, Adrian let us destroy this whelp.”
“No problem!!” The two moved to both sides of Iggy, clashing with him. He fought them both of with him bare hands, throwing both across the rigde. They recovered in air, Adrian moving swiftly into the water under the bridge, while Zhudai had had become a pillar of golden fire, bolting at Iggy, blade first. Iggy snapped his finger firing a powerful gust of black wind that ruptured the brigde greatly, Alex burst through the heavy debris with ease. Zhudai’s blade hit Iggy chest first, but to his disbelief, the blade went only about an inch into his gray body.
“Impressive ins’t it? Valigroth enchanted me so that my body fended off your little sword” Iggy explained.
“The sword may be stopped, but the fire burns true” Zhudai said the nearby debris began to melt and burn as Zhudai brewed white hot. He opened his mouth and with a sound piercing screech a brazen stream of white hot molten fire spewed over Iggy, launching him across the bridge in the current of fire. Iggy flew clear until the bridge broke open underneath him and a wave of shining water jetted upwards in the form of hydra dragon heads. they were small but there was a myriad of them, barreling at Iggy, flipping his singed body around before incasing his a ball of ravaging currents strong enough to rip metal into pieces. Adrian standing far from Alex forced the ball down to the bridge, leaving a large crater in the thick road.
“I think we got ‘em” Adrian said, floating lowly above the ground.
“Dear boy, you couldn’t be more wrong” Iggy stood his body showed signs of pain, but he fought through them. “No behold the power of the Cyborn” the machinery in his body began to to light up pulsing and pumping the dreadful purple energy. He builtup the enegy and finally released it in an explosion that blew up the bridge. Adrian and Zhudai threw up a wall of their respective elements but it wasn’t enough to keep them from flying opposite ways across town. Adrian crashed abruptly into a skyscraper, while Zhudai into the wide street below. Both stood as though the crash was nothing, able to see the unmistakeable glow of each other from their standpoint, as well as Iggy who float of a purple sphere where the bridge once was.
Adrian and Zhudai fumed with anger and relentless power as the blasted towards their opponent.
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I wanted something really action-y, take it away.
thanks, i’ve been busy. I’ll write the comment as soon as I get home but I dont have time right now.
Within the Flame of Zhudai form, Alex took counsel with his mentor. “How are we to defeat him?”
“You will need Adrian’s help. He is more acquainted with Iggy’s weaknesses than you are. The first thing to be done is to depower him. For that, we must use our power to break Valigroth’s protection over him.”
“Very well.”
The Flame of Zhudai spoke, his voice carrying across the desolated landscape. “Adrian, we will break Valigroth’s power. You must find Iggy’s weakness. You know him better than do we.” With this, The Flame soared into the air, leaving behind a trail of pure red fire. He drew his sword and sliced the air, releasing a torrent of fire energy. When the blast hit Iggy, his purple sphere flickered and slowly faded, revealing dark chains of intangible energy that represented the power of Valigroth. The villain was enraged.
“You will die for your insolence!”
“Foolish wretch, we are immortal. So long as we remain bonded, your power cannot destroy us! And now that we two have become one, we can wield power that would kill Alex alone.” The Flame raised his hands, and as if by invitation a HUGE bolt of lightning hurtled down from the azure sky. The torrent of energy pulsated through the Flame of Zhudai, becoming focused, amplified and intensified. “Prepare yourself to act Adrian. I will attempt to break Valigroth’s power.” He then collected the energy into his body and shouted, “I invoke the Powers Above to break the strength of Valigroth! The Might of Zavellor, Auringel, and Morvishim smite thee!” He then fired the HUGE bolt of lightning toward Iggy. Immediately the chains of darkness began to weaken as The Flame continued the barrage of energy.
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Take it away maestro!
Oops sorry I was busy with my rewrite and school work.
that’s cool
I don’t know who Valigroth is but if he’s working with Iggy something must be going down, Adrian thought. Adrian watched as Flame tried to force the chains of power from Iggys body and got an idea. “Yo Alex, Ugana is the extremely volitle(?) metal his technology is made of. If you can overly charged the metal you may be able to force the spell or whatever off of him”. Adrian grew faint, he had never stayed in the transformation for that long, he only had one more chance to get Iggy. Jimelly told me never to use the acrid power, but I have to, even if I’m never the same after this. One of his bodie’s hydra heads began to gag vomiting a black smoke, that Adrian breathed in. His body turned pitch black, as all his darkest emotions welled inside of him. It was his final trick, one that could forever steal his sanity.
“I-I only had s-so much control-l, have t-to hurry” Adrian jetted off the side of the building in a stream of pitch black water, Flame gave one final golden burst of lightning, his Ugana plating overloaded forcing his shackled to snapp, Iggy was free from Valigroth but now he was vunerable. Adrian shot past his multiple times each time bashing him violenty “Alex, move!!”. Flame complied moving back “Adrian, you do not have to do this” his called went unheard. Adrian circled Iggy rapidly until his water formed a pitch black sphere. he dived into the sphere, shooting back out as his regular human self. The Flame quickly caught him( I don’t know if that’s possible, but who cares). “Adrian, are you all right?” Flame asked.
“I’ll survive, my DNA is far stronger than most human, maybe even elvs” Adrian joked. “That shpere won’t hold hid forever, don’t you have some type of banishing magic?” he asked.The Flame sat Adrian down, who quickly began to fumble through his pockets. he pulled out a black and orange sphere. “Assimilate” the ball turned into an exosuit. I can’t do much like this but, at least I can moved. “Okay, I know what I must do” The Flame stepped forward and ______
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Adrian has alot of forms, I probably going to get rid of one or two, but his exosuit is a must and so are his two normal alien form, Hydra and Serpentine.
We should get ReTARDISed Whovian in on this.
Why, what’s happening? I haven’t been on in ages, and I don’t have the time to read all the comments at the moment.
Rpg fights between our characters. If you look above me and Brett have been in battle for a while. This one is awesome but if we had more people it could be ‘frickin’ awesome.
Cool! While we’re at it, lets bring in Sora and Organization XIII! Things can only get better!
jk
XD
How do you tell when someone wins? You’ll keep finding ways to outdo each other, won’t you?
Being ok with taking hits helps the fights get more realistic. For instance, I was about to let Adrian lose and then I pulled the old team up on the villian thing. We could work outdo-ing problems.
I’m very much ok with losing and getting hit, rather htan blocking or dodging every attack.
The Flame of Zhudai spoke to Adrian, “We could banish him to the void, but that would only be temporary. While he was there he could also consult and assimilate the pure essence of Valigroth himself. We don’t think you want that. Our best option is to separate him from whatever gives him his strength. Then his human body will be easy to confine. This will require some teamwork. We will remove the metal from his body. We wish you to grab hold of his humanity with your water powers. Once we separate them, the rest will be easy.” The flame reached out into the dark orb containing Iggy, not with fire, but with elemental force. He grabbed hold of the metal attached to Iggy’s body and superheated it, cleaving it from skin, muscle and bone. Simultaneously, Adrian grabbed hold of whatever was left of Doctor Iggy’s human form. The process was slow and apparently painful, but they were succeeding.
Adrian with what little water power he had in human form pried Iggy human form, pulling them apart. Flame ripped the metal from hisw Body as Adrian grabbed hold of Iggy’s body, as they fell. Adrian bent some water to catch himself and Iggy, who was now unconscious. Flame wrapped Iggy in confining fire bond. Iggy was defeated. Adrian hobbled over to Flame, reaching his hand out for a hand shake “Well Alex it’s—” He was interuppted as the sphere of black water began to speak in the voice of Valigroth saying_______ (I sooo can’t write Valigroth)
The battle was now over, and Alex and Maesirturon separatedinto their respective beings.
But then, the Sphere of Darkness resolved itself into a shadowy, faceless, spectral shape: A large man of surrea proportions, wrapped in a dark cloak under which the dull sheen of black armor was visible. He wore a hood, and a dark crown inset with nine purple gems that did not shine, but rather seemed to draw light into themselves, stealing it from all around them. Underneath the hood, no face was visible, only nothingness. And then he spoke. The words were not ones that could be understood by man, and Maesirturon alone comprehended their meaning. The language was a twisted, marred version of the Phoenix Tongue. It was at once the highest shriek and the lowest snarl. The figure raised its hand and pointed toward Alex. It shrieked once more, and a bolt of purple lightning struck him, driving him to the ground. The figure shrieked and snarled once more, as if in laughter. It then blew away as dark smoke on the wind.
Alex struggled to his feet, recovering from the blast of pure evil. He would live, but pain racked his body. Alex asked Maesirturon, “What did he say?”
“He says he believes that you are weak. Nevertheless you would make an excellent servant.”
“Can you heal me of him?”
“Alas Alex, my gift is only the Fire that Cleanses and the Fire that Destroys. I cannot wield the Fire that Heals. I can remove his influence from your bocy, but I can do nothing for your pain.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“Yes. He has unleashed the Ravagers upon Therva, and they will lay waste first to the Elderworld, and then to Terra. We must return, and your friend may come with us if he so desires. We can use his help. If the Ravagers are there, so are Valigroth’s armies. No doubt he lesser servants will be there as well. Climb onto my back. Once we arrive, I will take you to Prishara. Her fire can heal. Is your friend coming?”
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Well, are you?
Also, I find that the less a villain actually says in dialogue, the more threatening he sounds. The exception to this is the Joker of course, perhaps the mouthiest threatening villain in history. So as it turns out, I can’t write Valigroth either! lol
“The full moon cycle is over, my powers will be weakened, But I’ll come” (This is my way of putting his powers back in perspective, also gives him an excuse to use his tech).
Maesirturon opened a portal bacl to the Prishara, Alex and Adrian enetered the portal. After crossing over they were shocked. The land and been burned and scorched beyond recognition in the distance. “This can’t be happening we have to hurry” Alex said. They went into Prishara house and explained the events to her, she agreed to heal them. The Fire that Heals wrapped itself around Alex and Adrian stealing the pain from their bodies and replacing it with energy, they were good as new. They left the house in urgency when outside they were approached by lesser servants of Valigroth.
“Alex, I’m sorry, but I must go and assist the Knight, you two will have to hold your own against Valigroth’s army. I have confidence in you two. Alex your mastery of fire and combat is most exemplary. And you Adrian, your style of control over the water element, is unlike any I’ve ever seen. You are both true heroes” Maesirturon said fading into a fiery portal. Thw two servants drew closer, snarling, waiting for a fight.
The two sprang into action, “Vaichar” Alex said, his hands became shrouded in fire. Adrian with help from his suit spread his arms releasing his toxins, stealing water vapor from the air and plants around him. The water engulfed his hands, forming long thin claws, his feet, making clawed boots, and his lower bady forming a makeshift water tail. “I don’t need to go alien for these chumps” Adrian said “I agree, these idiots are nothing” Alex said. They sprang out, skating and jetting they charged for the servants.
_______________________________
I don’t know much about the servants, that’s why I’m giving it to you. I wanted Maes’ to go away because he was too strong and would kill everything in one hit.
All yours, make it good, remember Adrian isn’t in alien form. Lets try to up the level of action (I don’t how, but lets try)
I agree that it’s hard to make a mouthy villain sound sinister. Usually, it comes off ridiculously, like “it’s time for you to die, Mr. Bond!”
I think the problem is that the author tries so hard to make the character sound evil that the character loses any pretense of self-justification and becomes a completely amoral caricature. I’d really recommend making each villain think that he’s the hero of the story. You can still make him sound creepy with elements like euphemism.
As the creatures approached, Alex realized what they were: Shades. Each was mounted on a gargoyle, and they were leading a small company of Chith and Othgarts that must have numbered about fifty, at least. Their banner was the Black Star of Valigroth.
Adrian had one word to say: “Whoa.”
The shades rode forward. One of them spoke. “Surrender yourself halfling, and Valigroth will spare you. He may yet make you a commander of his armies.”
“We did not come here to bargain with that demon, shade! Your black power is useless under the rays of the sun. You do not frighten us, nor your foul guard!”
“Very well,” the second shade spoke. “Since you have refused the pleasure of Valigroth, you will be destroyed. Kill them!”
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I will finish later, but I gotta run now. But is taking on fifty Chith and Othgarts, plus two shades riding gargoyles enough action for ya? : )
FYI
-Black Star- Valigroth’s standard. Picture a toy pinwheel shape in black, somewhat resembling a swastika.
-Shades- Vampiric people who are weakened, though not killed by sunlight. They do not drink blood contrary to superstition. They possess strength, stamina, etc. greater than humans and wield enchanted weapons. Picture deathly pale elves minus the ears and add fangs.
-Gargoyles- a twisted mockery of the gryphon, marred by Valigroth.
-Chith- goblin-like enemies of the elves who primarily live in the Great Desert. They were once monkeys until infected by Valigroth’s evil. They are human-like, and without tails. They have adapted to desert life, with scales covering parts of their bodies, thin fur, pitch-dark skin, and yellow eyes. They also have fangs. They ride giants scorpions called nykras.
-Othgarts- a humanoid species that resembles an amalgam of several animals. Gargoyles are to dragons as Othgarts are to men. Sort of. Picture a man-sized two-legged gargoyle. The othgarts are winged, making them Valigroth’s air force of sorts.
Should I continue or do you want to?
If you take too long I will.
I won’t be able to continue today. I’ll probably come back Sunday. Use your good judgment. : )
You can go ahead if you wish, I’m writing new material and will probably be delayed. If you wish to suspend this and pick it up later, that’s fine too.
I’m starting my comic book script as of now, so we will definitely pick this up later.
Haha, we’re all so productive.
Newsflash:
Regarding my audition for the school play, I did get a part but it’s minor. The good part is that for our first production we’re doing two one act plays, Juvie and Cuffed. Juvie is what I got the minor role in, but in Cuffed I have the only lead role.
The two casters told me that they were really impressed with ability in characterizing the roles as opposed to just reading the script, see I didn’t overact I knew what I was doing. After all, I am a professional. It just would have helped for them to tell me that right off the back.
You guys should try acting, it’s hella fun.
Hmmm…
Judging by you, if intelligence, flair for the dramatic, and borderline insanity/schizophrenia are in the requirements, then I may look into it.
I meet all three!
Eww, schizophrenia is scary. If I ever had a hallucination of something scary, I think I’d go into a fear-induced coma. I have ALOT of irrational fear.
I’m guessing mild schizos don’t have hallucinations. I threw that in because one of my friends thinks I’m a schizo. I think that idea is totally laughable.
*grumble grumble.*
Cut it out. Old Man Mac’s on his lawn with the phone, one more step and he’ll call the cops.
My friends think I’m a budding serial killer because I love voodoo dolls and dark humor. That’s all I’m done *hops the fence and runs down the street before Mac can hit him with his cane* haha.