Archive for January 7th, 2008

Jan 07 2008

Interested in Accents?

Published by under Writing Articles

I provide advice about how to write novels, comic books and graphic novels. Most of my content applies to fiction-writing in general, but I also provide articles specifically about superhero stories.

If you’re trying to capture the sound of a dialect, check out the Speech Accent Archive.  I think it’ll help a lot with inflection, but probably not so much with phrases distinct to a region.

Incidentally, I think that political scientists usually agree that candidates with Midwestern and Southern accents perform better.

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Jan 07 2008

Quote of the Day– 1/7/2008

Agent Black: Several years ago, the OSI concluded that Dr. Savant had a secret identity and identified three suspects, including another Social Justice Leaguer. All attempts to determine which one have failed. Until now.

Captain Carnage: Why?

Black: Because he’s every freaking one of them.

Carnage: …

Carnage: And that threw y’all off for several years?

Black: He has three secret identities. That was, uhh, a great deal stranger than I had anticipated.

Carnage: Hell, boy, this ain’t no shit. In the Gulf War, I passed out in a Kuwaiti sandstorm and woke up in Costa Rica. Surrounded by decapitated kangaroos.

Black: …

Black: Wow. That’s strange.

Carnage: Or it might have been Iraq, surrounded by decapitated Republican Guardsmen. It’s hard to keep all the details straight.
Black: …

Black: …

Black: You’ve been talking to RETCON, haven’t you?

Carnage: How’d you know?

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Jan 07 2008

My spies report…

The UN plans to “use Spiderman to fight evil,” according to the Associated Press. (Wait, doesn’t the UN already have its own superheroes?)

The article mentions that…

John Bolton called it an “act of desperation… you can have Spiderman in a comic book all you want, but it’s not going to change public perception.”

John’s wrong. Adding Spidey to a comic book always changes public perception about its quality. For example, take Spiderman: Get Kraven. It made it to issue six, out of a scheduled seven. Get Kraven would not have survived to two.
Just how bad was Get Kraven?

Get Kraven #1

Kraven 1

Makes you wonder what they did for 2-6, right?

Savor excerpts of a review of #1:

It works, in the same way that selling Pokemon toys to children works. The characters don’t go challenging any boundaries, except those of good taste.

Spidey’s appearance is best quickly forgotten…

Get Kraven #2

Kraven 2

Incidentally, the mini-WTC logo is the only reason this comic should not be burned.

Excerpts of a review:

it’s about as witty as two-day old vomit down the back of the sofa. It’s as funny as a draft notice in 1967 [hey!] It’s as clever as a Ph.D thesis in pig-latin*…

Namor swims up and gives him some advice about Hollywood…

SUMMARY: Renting a bungalow. Scott Baio. Six pages.

*Which is different from regular theses… how?

Get Kraven #6 (skipping 3-5 for everyone’s well-being)

Kraven 6

Wait… the WTC logo is gone.  Light it up!

If you actually bought this, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Here are some excerpts of a five-star review of #6.

The Rothsteins weren’t the head of the snake. They need to go to Beverly Hills…

It turns out, Ned is playing a role playing game with the Chameleon because it’s healthy, according to his shrink. The Chameleon snaps, he takes a spear and runs towards Al…

The story ends with Nickles [THE F***ING DOG] wondering that this was supposed to be a seven issue series. And that it’s weird that he waited to the last page to talk!

Anyway, the point is that Spidey got Get Kraven to issue six. After that, world peace should be a snap.

In any case, he can sell a comic that will be heavy on the preaching and light on the miracles.

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