Jan 28 2008
Scenelet of the Day
Agent Orange and Agent Black step onto an elevator in the lobby.
Agent Orange, to bystanders: Y’all seem like nice people. I’d hate to see you get cut down with a chaingun.
Bystanders file out of elevator.
Agent Orange: Communications check.
Captain Carnage: I hear you, Team 2.
Agent Orange: Explosives.
Agent Black: Check.
Agent Orange: A warrant.
Agent Black: Check.
Agent Orange hits the Emergency Stop button just short of the 12th floor.
Agent Orange: Team 2 in position, over. Ammunition.
Agent Black: Uhh. Uhh…
Agent Black fumbles around in his pockets.
Agent Orange: What does “uhh” mean?
Agent Black: 20 pistol rounds.
Captain Carnage: On my command…
Agent Orange: (20 rounds, the way you fire?) Command, Team 2 has a problem. Over.
Captain Carnage: This shit is going down right now! Screw your problems.
Agent Orange and Black exchange a nervous glance.
Agent Black: Don’t you have your standard-issue spare magazine?
Agent Orange: Leaving my ammo at the office has never been a problem. I’m an alligator.
Agent Black: A Homeland Security alligator.
Captain Carnage: Ten seconds.
Agent Orange: … I’ve got a knife. Close your eyes.
Agent Black: …
Agent Orange hands Black a knife.
Agent Black: Jesus. It’s coated in goo. Where the hell’d you have this?
Captain Carnage: Five seconds.
Agent Orange: En mah mouff.*
Agent Black wipes the knife on Agent Orange’s suit.
Agent Orange: … !
Agent Orange: Fub ooh! (Maamoos).**
Captain Carnage: Go!
*– “In my mouth.”
**– “??? you! (Mammals).”
