Jan 28 2008

Scenelet of the Day

Agent Orange and Agent Black step onto an elevator in the lobby.


Agent Orange, to bystanders: Y’all seem like nice people. I’d hate to see you get cut down with a chaingun.


Bystanders file out of elevator.


Agent Orange: Communications check.


Captain Carnage: I hear you, Team 2.


Agent Orange: Explosives.


Agent Black: Check.


Agent Orange: A warrant.


Agent Black: Check.


Agent Orange hits the Emergency Stop button just short of the 12th floor.


Agent Orange: Team 2 in position, over. Ammunition.


Agent Black: Uhh. Uhh…


Agent Black fumbles around in his pockets.


Agent Orange: What does “uhh” mean?


Agent Black: 20 pistol rounds.


Captain Carnage: On my command…


Agent Orange: (20 rounds, the way you fire?) Command, Team 2 has a problem. Over.


Captain Carnage: This shit is going down right now! Screw your problems.


Agent Orange and Black exchange a nervous glance.


Agent Black: Don’t you have your standard-issue spare magazine?


Agent Orange: Leaving my ammo at the office has never been a problem. I’m an alligator.


Agent Black: A Homeland Security alligator.


Captain Carnage: Ten seconds.


Agent Orange: … I’ve got a knife. Close your eyes.


Agent Black: …


Agent Orange hands Black a knife.


Agent Black: Jesus. It’s coated in goo. Where the hell’d you have this?


Captain Carnage: Five seconds.


Agent Orange: En mah mouff.*


Agent Black wipes the knife on Agent Orange’s suit.


Agent Orange: … !


Agent Orange: Fub ooh! (Maamoos).**


Captain Carnage: Go!

*– “In my mouth.”

**– “??? you!  (Mammals).”

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