Archive for August, 2008

Aug 13 2008

Insure Vs. Ensure (OR: Fox News has betrayed me!)

You should only use the word “insure” if you’re talking about buying or selling insurance policies. The word “ensure” should be used when you want to guarantee an outcome. For example, “please ensure that you don’t make that mistake.” Unfortunately, Fox News hasn’t gotten the memo…

Fox News: “We expect Russia to insure that all lines of communication and transport, including seaports, airports, roads and airspace, remain open for the delivery of humanitarian assistance and for civilian transit,” Bush said.

No, Fox, no! You will rot in the deepest, hottest bowels of grammatical hell. Devils will stab you with semi-colons until you beg for death’s sweet embrace.

9 responses so far

Aug 12 2008

(The Republic of) Georgia on My Mind

Published by under Writing Articles

Georgia’s president, Mikheil Saakashvili, spoke at my workplace when he came to Washington in 2006.  Sadly, the only thing I remember about his appearance was that I got to work within a few feet of a Secret Service agent.

One response so far

Aug 11 2008

The Real Batman Wouldn’t Get Clobbered by a Grocery Shopper

This isn’t government-sponsored national service, but I think that twelve stitches and a hell of a lot of ass-kicking earn the tag.

A Tulsa newspaper reports that a Batman imposter walked into a grocery store and unsuccessfully tried to open fire. Then an airline mechanic tackled him from behind. Several minutes of unrelenting pounding ensued.

No responses yet

Aug 09 2008

Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part 5)

Published by under Titles,Writing Articles

B. Mac reviews and revises the titles of 30 manuscripts submitted to a writing workshop. This will help you evaluate and improve your titles.

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7 responses so far

Aug 08 2008

Online Writing Tip of the Day: Check Your Links

If you have a list of links in your sidebar or site-map, test the links once a month.  It amazes me how often we change the permalinks without updating the sidebar.  The monthly link-test is easily the most productive minute I spend on website design. 

No responses yet

Aug 08 2008

Five More Mistakes First-Time Novelists Make (#46-50)

This short article will help beginning novelists avoid another five common mistakes that will usually cause publishers to throw out a manuscript.

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17 responses so far

Aug 07 2008

Sir, Please Kill Me (A Horror-Comedy on Japanese Airlines)

We board the plane at 3 pm. Everyone is fully sane.

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2 responses so far

Aug 06 2008

I’m going to Japan today!

Published by under Superhero Nation

I don’t expect to post very much today, given that I’ll be in transit for 18 hours.  However, in the meantime, I will leave you with this nugget of wisdom: avoid immortal characters.  They’re terrible.

No responses yet

Aug 05 2008

My hero’s ready to Westinghouse someone. Is yours?

From Wired.com: “Thomas Edison, never shy about exploiting a situation to his advantage, especially if it could cripple a rival, therefore built the electric chair to operate on alternating current [the preferred system of his rivals]. By associating the Tesla-Westinghouse current with something as unpleasant as capital punishment, Edison hoped to turn public opinion his way. He even suggested replacing the new coinage, electrocution, with ‘to be Westinghoused.’ It never caught on.”

That invented use of “Westinghouse” is brilliant. Which words could you repurpose for your fiction?

No responses yet

Aug 05 2008

Writing Tip of the Day: Avoid These Meaningless Words

If you ever come across one of these words as you rewrite, please replace it with something more specific and spicy.

  1. Good
  2. Nice
  3. Alright
  4. Well
  5. Mean (adjective)
  6. Interesting
  7. Vivid (hat-tip to anonymous commenter)
  8. Of course (hat-tip to T3knomanser)
  9. Smart (hat-tip to Jacob)

Did I forget any words you love to hate?

7 responses so far

Aug 05 2008

Manuscript Killers: Mary Sues

Mary Sues are characters that are overpowerful, self-insertions of the author. This article will help you identify and fix some of the biggest problems with Mary Sues.

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90 responses so far

Aug 04 2008

Webcomic #14: Obscene Amenities and Other Occupational Incentives

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No responses yet

Aug 04 2008

How to Beat Writer’s Block: Give Up on Perfection

Expecting perfection from the first draft will probably paralyze you. On the first draft, the most important thing is to write something and then you can turn it into a coherent, clean masterpiece later. When you’re writing the first draft, it may help to think of your job as giving your internal self-editor material to work with rather than writing a story fit for public consumption.

Here are a few suggestions to avoid perfectionist impulses during the first draft…

1) Don’t edit.

2) If you get stuck on what happens in one part of the story, summarize it in a few sentences and move on. You can fill it in later.

3) Commit yourself to writing for at least 30 or 45 minutes. After ten minutes of accomplishing little, you will hopefully start to feel frustrated and lower your expectations. “Maybe this line is good enough.”

3 responses so far

Aug 04 2008

The Future of Political Nonfiction

City Journal wrote a well-researched article on the future of conservative nonfiction, but I’d like to make a larger point about political nonfiction. “Since the new conservative imprints have far less latitude than traditional nonfiction imprints to fail, they tend to rely heavily on, and largely be defined by, a handful of proven iconic authors.” It’s probably true that smaller publishers have to be wary about rolling the dice with noncelebrities. But, because of blogging, I think that it’s tremendously difficult for a non-celebrity of any political persuasion to publish political nonfiction. Readers can find blogs that offer any style of political thought for free. Some blogs are exceedingly well-written and intelligent. So why would anyone want to pay for your opinion? Because you’re someone who has an invaluable perspective because you used to be a President, a secretary of state, or are a hugely popular talk-radio host, etc…*

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No responses yet

Aug 03 2008

Why are mysteries more popular than fantasy or sci-fi?

Published by under Commentary

Observations from the Balcony suggests it is because mysteries are helped more by cinema than other forms of literary fiction. I’d lay out two alternate theories: 1) it’s far easier to make a detective story intriguing and interactive, because the readers can solve the case alongside the detective. 2) The premises, particularly in detective mysteries, are easier to sell than exotic premises that use magic or advanced technology.

Additionally, I think it’s slightly easier to write mysteries…

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One response so far

Aug 03 2008

Alexander Solzhenitsyn has died

Published by under News

The author best known for Gulag Archipelago has passed away.

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Aug 03 2008

Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part 4)

Published by under Titles,Writing Articles

Cadet Davis reviews and revises the titles of 30 manuscripts submitted to a writing workshop. This will help you evaluate and improve your titles.

Above Average

  1. Evil by Choice. This one has a lot of style and markets itself well to the readers of psychologically-themed and villain-as-main-character stories.
  2. Rails Across the Dragonlands. This sells a steampunk fantasy well, but it would be more effective if it gave us something to care about.

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2 responses so far

Aug 02 2008

Writing Tip of the Day: Don’t Mismarket Your Work as a Parody

When you try to sell your work to a publisher or readers, please do not use the word “parody” interchangeably with “comedy.” A parody imitates the style or plays on the conventions of an author/genre /work to make fun of it.  Most comedies are not parodies. There are two common reasons that authors may misuse the word parody…

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No responses yet

Aug 02 2008

Writing Tip of the Day: Try to Avoid Striking a Pose

Published by under Imagery,Writing Articles

A character strikes a pose by doing anything that’s primarily designed to give readers an interesting visual. Unlike well-executed visuals, poses are usually distracting and rarely add anything like character development or immersion to the story.  It’s usually more effective to rewrite the visual to show us something about the character. For example, a character that admires his weapon is striking a pose because he’s not telling us anything interesting about himself.  You could fix that by having the character run his finger across the blade to test its sharpness. That helps develop the character as a competent and tough swordsman. In contrast, someone who just admires the weapon probably fails to show any of his own traits and is offering a visual only for its own sake.

No responses yet

Aug 02 2008

Gender-Based Differences in Speech

I found these two articles on writing male speech and female speech quite useful.

5 responses so far

Aug 02 2008

Webcomic Issue #13: Gone Fishin’

Published by under Comedy,Webcomic

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No responses yet

Aug 01 2008

Writing a book proposal?

Published by under Writing Articles

I found this resource very useful to anyone that’s writing a book proposal:  What Publishers Want to See Most in a Book Proposal.

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Aug 01 2008

A great quip about writing

“I cannot say this often enough: if your backstory is more interesting than your current era, you’re writing the wrong story.”  the Paperback Writer

One response so far

Aug 01 2008

Five More Mistakes First-Time Novelists Make (#41-45)

This short article will help beginning novelists avoid another five common mistakes that will usually cause publishers to throw out a manuscript.

Continue Reading »

8 responses so far

Aug 01 2008

Is Wolverine the Latest Victim of Globalization?

A poster from Edmonton, my favorite Canadian city, notices that the new Wolverine trailer has Wolverine in an American military uniform. Assuming this isn’t just a Hollywood gaffe, Marvel is probably rewriting Wolverine as an American rather than a Canadian.

This isn’t as annoying as Superman’s motto getting changed to “truth, justice and the American way all that stuff” or the inseparably American GI Joe getting turned into international peacekeepers, but Canada still deserves better than this.

No responses yet

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