Dec 10 2010

Anti-zombie research is proceeding apace

Published by at 7:16 pm under Comedy,Eccentric Tangent

The U.S. Army bought about 100,000 M4s last fiscal year, improving the nation’s zombie readiness levels from “doomed” to “screwed.”  In your face, zombies! Also, the Navy is working on a electromagnetic railgun.  When the zombie dolphins are upon us, we’ll be ready.
It's not like Aquaman's gonna stop them.

Other exciting military technology that could mess some zombies up:

  • Nuclear rifles
  • Flying jeeps
  • Chain-saw robots.  Brilliantly, these would be powered by biomass furnaces, which would keep fallen humans and plants from turning into enemy combatants.  (Also, gasoline would surely be in shorter supply than bodies).

2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Anti-zombie research is proceeding apace”

  1. Beccaon 13 Dec 2010 at 12:33 am

    Hmm, I wonder if they know something we don’t…

  2. B. Macon 13 Dec 2010 at 12:55 am

    This is why we lock up dolphins whenever we find them. If released into the wild, they could go zombie at any time. They can still go zombie in Seaworld, but at least this way we can use them for our amusement and glean useful intelligence about the enemy, allowing us to defeat them as easily as we did the gophers.

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