Dec 29 2008
Writing Tip: Start Your Story As Everything Goes Wrong
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Generally, a book has only 5-20 pages (depending on audience age and genre) to establish three critical elements.
- The status quo of the main character. What is this character like before everything goes wrong? In the Lord of the Rings, for example, Frodo celebrates Bilbo’s birthday before being called upon to save the world. In Superhero Nation, Gary is a workaholic accountant.
- The inciting event. What throws the character off his status quo? Usually, this is the point at which everything starts to go wrong. For example, in Superhero Nation, Gary narrowly survives a car-bombing very early on. This forces several changes on him: first, he is transferred away from his job for his safety. So he’s completely out of his social comfort zone. Second, assassins are now trying to kill him.
- A goal for the main character. This is usually a response to the inciting event. This can be as simple as “I want everything to return to normal.” Gary wants to rebuild his life by getting a job somewhere and he wants to survive the assassins. This brings him to the superpowered Office of Special Investigations. Wacky hijinks ensue! (Buy the book when it finally gets published, heh heh).
A lot of manuscripts get bogged down in details that are typically too far removed from these three goals.
- Prologues. They usually lack immediacy and, far too often, they just skip the main character entirely. Ick. The main character is almost always the best available way to hook readers into your story.
- Backstory. Typically, it doesn’t really matter what your character was doing 5 or 10 years ago. Readers want to know what’s happening now. If you are literally unable to start the story without explaining what happened 5 or 10 years ago, you may wish to reevaluate the starting point for your story. Ahem. “If your backstory is more interesting than your current era, you’re writing the wrong story.“ If you have to introduce backstory, try to keep it to a bare minimum. Tell us only what we need to understand what is going on now.
- Side-characters. If the side-characters are the best hook to your story, there’s probably something wrong with the main character and/or the plot. For example, if a fantasy novel wants to show us the parents of the hero right before he is born, that will trap us in backstory. Furthermore, will readers care about the hero’s parents? Probably not. If they were the most interesting characters in this book, they would be the leads. Harry Potter #1 was very well-written, but it made a questionable choice to start the book when Harry was an infant. It was a very slow beginning.
- Elaborate settings. Typically, the main character is a better hook into the story than the world is. A strong character can be relatable and likable, mostly unlike a strong world. Try to limit the setting at the very beginning to just what we need to understand the main character and the plot.
I originally wrote this article for novelists, but it’s largely true for comic-book writers as well. The main difference is that a comic-book writer has even fewer pages to establish the status quo. What is your Peter Parker like before he becomes Spiderman? If your character has a particularly interesting origin story, I’d recommend giving the status quo no more than half an issue (12 or 16 pages, probably). But readers tend to appreciate introductions that are much shorter. A good establishing shot is typically sufficient and lets you get to the interesting stuff faster. (I love alternate identities as much as anyone, but usually the superhero identity is more gripping. Would you want to read a comic called The Amazing Peter Parker or Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne?)
In a comic that probably ranges from 24-32 pages, you really need to get to the inciting event (probably the radioactive spider-bite or however else your hero got his powers) as soon as possible. In a superhero story, I’d recommend giving the hero his powers early enough in the first issue that you can introduce his goal. Ideally you can conclude the first issue with a fight.
OK, so my story starts with my main character waking up, heading to school and then getting jumped by a bunch of rival gang members. He kills one of them. He gets arrested and since it is his second strike and his lawyer gets him a choice, Juvie or a military camp where he will eventually get his powers. Is this good?
I like the inciting event, killing one of the gang members in a fight. If you’re writing for a maturer audience, I think it will fit in really smoothly. Being forced to choose between juvie and a military camp is also interesting. I think it will raise the stakes for him.
That said, I’m not sure about the story starting with him waking up. What would you think about starting the story with him already at a typical day of school? That’s probably more interesting than his morning routine.
Ok, that’s pretty logical advice. Anything else?
I think my advice is that if he’s gonna be a serious character, you need someone to lighten the mood a little by being a bit less serious. Then again, I’m no professional.
Hello good people. I’ve decided to divide my superhero story into “blocks”: part 1, part 2, part 3… etc. and I plan to copy-and-paste them together when I’m through. The overall story pretty much progresses into the three critical elements, and I’m filling in the details and expanding the three as I go.
I’ve tried to “write” the story linearly and each time it has come to a dead stop, or there’s WAY to much in it.
Is it possible to get the story together and finish it like this? Or have you tried this and failed miserably before?
Any advice for someone lost at sea? Anything would be welcomed.
“Each time it has come to a dead stop, or there’s WAY too much in it.” Writing too much is not a huge problem. I think the most effective way to write a story is to write more than you need and then cut out the parts that add the least. You can shrink down subplots, remove characters, cut scenes, etc.
Do you have a plot outline? I could look that over for you, if you’d like.
Sweet. I’d really appreciate any thoughts, but where would I put it? It’s a bit much and in a copy and paste here would give you a pile of letters.
Anywhere else to put it, or is here fine?
You can post it here. Or B.Mac can open up a review forum for you to post it there.
Hey, dforce. I set up a review forum for you here.
I need to know if this is a good start.
Hector was woken up very abruptly by a burning cigarette pressed against his cheek. Hector was in his 31st level of training camp in 2196. He was the most amazing fighter in the history of Marine Core. In the war for Ukraine he killed 218 troops of the Russian and Chinese alliance, In the War of Russia he killed 311 troops of the russian and chinese alliance. This training level you had to be captured in a camp guarded by 210 soldiers. So he woke up abruptly. He had a slop of something that was supposedly food. When the guard turned around he took a sharp piece of metal behind him and cut the rope. The guards were in armor so they would not get hurt. The guard turned around, but Hector quickly reacted and through the sharp metal at the guards throat. The guard’s breath got quieter as it hit the floor. There were no more guards by the hut but tons outside. Before he left he took the other guard’s gun.
The sirens wailed. He was caught.
I will stop there A: to keep it more suspenseful and B: because this was the beginning.
Hello, Mack. Nice to meet you.
I have some strong concerns:
- My major concern is that this piece plunges us into action without introducing us to much of the setting or the character. This could be a problem because it really doesn’t give us a reason to want to read about this character. So what? He woke up in a training facility, why should I care, I don’t even know this guy.
- The character, Hector, is probably not developed enough personality-wise. All we know about him is that he’s a good killer and he’s competent. This doesn’t tell us much about his personality. And since all we know about him is that he’s good at killing, he’s a bit hard to like. I’d recommend starting with a scene that establishes his character and gives us a reason to read about him, then putting him in a dangerous situation.
- Overall, the actual writing is clean. Although, there are a few spelling and grammar issues, nothing major, though. I’d recommend having a close friend or relative proofread your work or you could have us do it here, I’d be happy to oblige.
- The piece, in my opinion, lacks a sense of style. It doesn’t really evoke any feeling, it just feels like a read. I recommend playing up whatever tone you want your story to follow.
I’m sorry if my critique feels a little harsh. Believe me I’m only here to help.
Would you like a review forum for your work?
This feels a bit more like a synopsis of a story than the first few paragraphs. I’d recommend introducing us to the character in a more gradual way. Dialogue might help. In particular, I think it’s important to show us something about his personality.
Yes please ragged boy i would like a fourm and i dont think you were being harsh at all just telling it the way it is. Thanky you
B.Mac should open up a review forum for you soon. No problem, I love to help.
How do i get to the fourm when he posts it???
He’ll link you to it here, I’m guessing.
Ragged boy, i have taken your thoughts to perform a new beggining.
It was one sunny in Detroit, Michigan. Hector and his Uncle Tom who was very close to him. His parents sold him as a slave to a mob boss for money to buy drugs. His Uncle Tom was part of the S.W.A.T during that time and he saved him. Uncle Tom took Hector under his wing and they were really close. In school he was nice to everyone, was generuos, and caring. Even with these good qualitys he was always picked on. Well on this something happened something very very terrible. Uncle Tom just retired from the S.W.A.T. Hector and Uncle Tom were celebrating at their favorite restraunt B.K.A. They took a short-cut to Uncle Tom’s apartment when the mob Uncle Tom stopped appered.
” Eh-Eh, hey boys look what we got here Uncle Tom and his slave baby,” said the gang leader.
they grabbed Hector.
” Stop,” sternly boomed Uncle Tom. Uncle Tom then pulled out a cigar. when bam,bam,bam. Uncle tom was shot.
” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” sobbed and screamed Hector. Hector was 12, but when he got mad, he got mad. Hector rushed towards them. Hector took one gang member down and run.
Now i now this isnt to good, but please post your opinions ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○
Can someone please tell me how to do html? I seem to have missed that article, and now i cant find it. :’(
What sort of HTML are you referring to? Bold and italics? Or links? Or what?
Bolds, italics, links, underline, and line breaks.
Incidentally, check out my work here:
http://www.superheronation.com/2007/11/28/an-in-depth-forum-for-bretts-work/#comment-28733
Replace all [brackets] with
[b]bold[/b]
[i]italics[/i]
[u]underline[/u]
[a href="the URL here"]text of the link[/a]
We can’t do line breaks, only B. Mac can do those?
Ah, it erased them. Replace [ with what happens when you press shift-comma, and ] with what happens when you press shift-period. Those triangle things.
Hi, Mack. I’ve set up a review forum for you here.
Mack, the most unique advice i can give you is maybe to tone down the number of soldiers this guy has killed? Unless he’s a super-soldier or a metahuman, I dont think these numbers are very believable. Just tone it down a tad maybe, or give us a reason this guys so ridiculously talented.
Hello, I am thinking of a new superhero. I will post the beginning sometime in 3 days.
To anyone who would like to help…
Hector Adams was just a 19 year old boy. He was a private for the Army. It was just about the time of 2911 and America got in a war with Canada and Mexico who became a alliance. The world has changed; part of Canada has become a very nasty and polluted swamp. That is where Pvt. Adams was. America had been retreating into this swamp for several days now. Hector was shaking, because he did not want to be in the army. He needed to be, his family has became very poor with his dad being sued for 10 billion dollars which made his company go bankrupt. Hector was there shaking like a baby. His squad got whittled down by sharpshooters.
Hector ran and ran until a terrible thing happened. Canada had been working on a poison missile which didn’t blow up but gas shot every where when it hit the ground. The poison waste was there and Hector did not see it he ran straight into the nasty, green, vat of the poison. He sunk and sunk. 3 days passed and Hector finally woke up. The war was still raging in the swamp. He then felt very very weird he grew fangs, poison fangs and poison was shooting out of his hand. He sat by a tree and thought a thought that was going to burn inside of him for the rest of his life. He was a freak.
Hello, Mack. I think that you did a pretty good job of starting the story as everything goes wrong.
I have a few thoughts and suggestions.
–The backstory about the father getting sued for billions of dollars seems a bit distracting and out of place. I would recommend just having him get drafted; I think that would be a bit more intuitive and would require less setup.
–I’m not sure if you’re army or anything like that, but my layman’s take is that trying to run from a sniper is likely to get him shot. I think soldiers are encouraged to find cover or lie prone instead.
–In some ways, this story feels a bit more modern than super-futuristic. We have recognizable countries, recognizable weapons (sniper rifles and chemical missiles), etc. It might help to set the story maybe 100 years in the future rather than 900.
–I think it might help to add another character or two to develop the plot. OK, the character became a freakish monster. Then what? Hopefully there’s more here than him just going crazy on those sinister Canadians.
I like that he’s unwilling.
You know Mack you could have post this in yourforum. It’d be a good way to start your development site.
Ragged Boy i am sorry i did not i dont like using fourms att all i realized i thought it would be much different
Hector Adams was just a 19 year old boy. He was a private for the Army. It was just about the time of 2911 and America got in a war with Namoco which used to be known as canada until they were invaded and taken over by hailen A.K.A Iraq and New Russia which used to be mexico. who became a alliance. The world has changed; part of Namoco has become a very nasty and polluted swamp. That is where Pvt. Adams was. America had been retreating into this swamp for several days now. Hector was shaking, because he did not want to be in the army. He needed to be, he was drafted. Hector was there shaking like a baby. His squad got whittled down by a S.S.S or Small Shot Sharpshooter. These bullets were so small they were the size of an ant. But these bullets made you disinagrate on impact. These were deadly.
Hector ran and ran until a terrible thing happened. Namoco had been working on a poisonous fire. The poison waste was there and Hector did not see it he ran straight into the nasty, green, vat of the poison. He sunk and sunk. 3 days passed and Hector finally woke up. The war was still raging in the swamp. He then felt very very weird he grew fangs, poison fangs and poison was shooting out of his hand. He sat by a tree and thought a thought that was going to burn inside of him for the rest of his life. He was a freak. He had to sleep so he ran to the outscurts of the swamp where the war was not raging. The next morning he woke up in a New Russian Facility. Where he saw that S.S.S’s face. He knew it was him from a flashback he had. Hector was scared and knew something evil was bound to happen
Is this a prologue? Honestly, I’m not feeling it that much. This feels more like an origin story and it’s handled at a flitty and throw-away pace. I’d strongly recommend slowing down and expanding. You could probably stretch this to about 1 and half pages.
I’d recommend adding scenery (deeper than a vague description), more body language, dialogue, pacing, and character development.
“Where he saw that S.S.S’s face. He knew it was him from a flashback he had. ”
I’d recommend replacing flashback with something like a memory. Technically, I don’t think a person can have a flashback. Alternatively, you could remove the second sentence.
-I’d replaced the S.S.S.’s with the sharpshooter’s or the sniper’s.
Sorry if this sounds negative.
On a side note, I’d like to know what you don’t like about the review forum.
Ragged Boy, this is just the base. I will do those things, but I am just using this to know if this is a good base.
Second off, the review forums are just plain out horrible to me.
Fair enough. In that case I think this is a good base from which you can start to build.
(thoughtful) Prologues are bad?
I tend to use them to set the scene and ease the reader into the world (seeing as my stories tend to be somewhat unusual.) For example, the prologue for the story I’m mulling over right now is a letter written from the main character to her father. It sets up that she and her family have superhuman talents, establishes that they have a feud going with another family, and mentions that the town she lives in is a bit weird. The casual final line tells us she’s actually writing a letter to a dead man, as her father was killed in a car crash a few months ago, and serves as a hook into the meat of the story.
Should I reconsider this?
Yeah, I’d recommend looking into possible alternatives. I’m sort of concerned that the letter will come off as an infodump because it seems that it’s more focused on backstory and setting us up for what will happen rather than, say, developing the character in a way that makes her and her goals interesting.
Nothing happens in a letter. What is happening now? Why did you start the story at this particular point in time rather than, say, immediately before or after the father’s death?
I suspect that the letter would also tend to tell rather than show. Because there aren’t any physical cues (like body language), you’d probably need to have her narrate any feelings, which is sort of cheesy. (You could somewhat fix that by shifting the scene to her writing the letter, allowing you to work in body language). Finally, if you go with the letter, I’d recommend suggesting that she’s not actually interested in communicating with her father and that this is an emotional catharsis (or whatever). Otherwise, it may be a “what the hell?” moment for readers and probably not in a good way.
I did consider shifting the scene to her writing the letter, and I think it would work better that way. Plus, it is actually about emotional catharsis rather than communication- sane girl here.
Would it be more interesting perhaps to start at her father’s funeral? I thought about using that to also introduce another main character with them meeting there and talking.