Nov 05 2008
Why Secret Origins are Usually Awful
Occasionally, an author will breathlessly offer some revelation about a character’s origin. (Luke and Leia are siblings! Sylar is actually a Petrelli! That mysterious old man is actually a god!) Secret origin stories are rarely effective. If you’re doing a secret origin, here are the biggest potential concerns. If you can avoid these, I think the secret has promise.
1. They tend to be unnecessarily confusing. On top of everything else you want us to remember about your characters, you now want us to forget what you originally told us about your Luke being an only child. Including false or otherwise misleading information in a plotline may make the plot convoluted.
2. The secret doesn’t add enough to the reading experience. Let’s say you want to reveal some “epic” secret about your character. He’s actually hundreds of years old, or someone’s son, or really a god in disguise. Is there some compelling reason to hide this information? If this information were actually interesting, wouldn’t this information interest us even if we knew it upfront? That would also help resolve the confusion issue.
3. The “surprise” rarely adds intrigue. Strong mysteries are interesting because we know the question and can follow along as the heroes try to answer it. “Who is the killer?” is an interesting question. This is a high-stakes question and it’s on the reader’s mind. “Who is Luke’s sister?” is not because we get the answer before we know that the question exists. There’s no anticipation, or even a sense that the question matters. Most secret origins create a “gotcha!” moment that comes out of the blue.
4. They are typically contrived. It’s pretty convenient that, of all the trillions of people in the galaxy, it happens to be Luke Skywalker that rescues Leia from the Empire. In your story, it will probably feel just as contrived that of all the millions of potential parents, your hero just happens to be the son of the villain. (Also, that’s criminally cliche, particularly since Star Wars. If you’re going down that path, at least make the hero the father? That would be marginally better).
5. They frequently lead to continuity errors. When you decide that your main character has a secret origin, it’s hard to anticipate and correct all of the resulting changes. For example, the original Star Wars movie was marketed as a romance between Luke and Leia. Uhh, yeah. That’s pretty creepy.
Here are some of the more common secret origin stories.
- One character is secretly related to another.
- One character is pretending to be something else, like a man posing as a woman or possibly an alien posing as a human.
- The character is far older than he seems. (“But, if you were at the Battle of Asalukakoala, that would mean you’re thousands of years old!” More importantly, it would mean that the story is probably neck-deep in cliche).
- A character is a god posing as a mortal.
- One character is secretly posing as another. (This one has the most promise, I think).
Suppose a character is not a god posing as a mortal, but rather a god incarnated into a mortal body because he gave up a significant portion of his power to help save someone from death?
As long as readers (and ideally the other characters) know that, it should be OK.
In retrospect, I think this explains why I was so annoyed about Agent Orange keeping his being a mutant alligator a secret in “The Best Investigator in the World.” The secret doesn’t add anything, but it adds an unnecessary layer of complexity and makes it harder to visualize what’s going on.
Well, some characters know, others don’t. But it’s clearly imply-revealed at the end of the very first book.
(What I mean by imply-reveal is that it isn’t explicitly stated, but we see the character saying/doing/knowing something that only the god-mortal could say/do/know, so although I don’t come out say it, the reader knows. Kinda like when at the end of a movie you see the villain’s eyes or hand or something, or like when Starscream escaped in the end of Transformers. It’s not stated, but you know it happened.)
Is this too much?
Erm, maybe. I guess it depends on the context. Which characters know? If the main heroes know and the main villains don’t, my gut feeling is that the element of secrecy will probably be minor enough that it won’t confuse people.
A few factors that will add to the potential for confusion are how few people know and how long it takes them to learn it and whether the character lies about his background. Deception is surprisingly confusing.
…
Could I ask a clarifying question? When you say that you clearly imply-reveal his lineage at the end of the very first book, do you mean that you’re clarifying it for the characters or the readers? (The example you give with Starscream suggests it’s for the benefit of the audience rather than the characters). If that’s the case, it may be problematic if readers are in the dark for most of the book about something that the character has known all along. (My rule of thumb is that the readers are entitled to know everything that the point-of-view character knows).
Caveats
1: I’m not sure that he is the POV.
2: Readers will cut you a lot of slack if you offer an immediately observable reason for hiding the information. Just make sure that the readers know the question is out there (“who’s the killer?”, for example). The question can interest us even if we don’t know the answer immediately. But just suddenly dropping the answer out of the blue will not be interesting.
OK. Here goes.
The character in question is Headmaster Gabriel, who is in secret Auringel the Phoenix Lord.
two characters know from the beginning, Lupus Cane and Mesirturon the phoenix. Lupus knows because he’s Gabriel’s right hand man. Maesirturon knows because he’s Auringel’s brother. After Alex encounters Maesirturon, he is told that Auringel will find him and complete his training, and in fact Auingel has already found Alex. Here’s a quote:
[“So how will I find this Auringel?” Alex asked.
“Don’t worry, he will find you Alex. Indeed, I believe he already has.” Maesírturon replied.
...Maesirturon does the phoenix death/rebirth thing and comes back as a hawk-sized bird....
Alex later returned to the Academy with a strange red-gold hawk, which escaped no one’s notice, least of all that of Headmaster Gabriel, who, from a distance, watched Alex enter with the bird. He smiled knowingly. “Ah, Maesírturon. Your task is complete. Well done my brother, I can take it from here.” ]
You see? The question is known to the reader and the answer is known to the reader. The only person who doesn’t know is Alex & company. Alex later finds out.
Auringel is a god. He never lies, but the fact that he is in mortal form means there is potential (albeit small) for him to make mistakes.
There is a reason for so few people knowing this. Auringel is the only one powerful enough to destroy Valigroth. Thus, when he gave up his power and became mortal, Valigroth saw an opportunity to kill him. (Aslan-esque resurrection potential?) Thus it is imperative that Gabriel’s identity be kept secret. Alex is charged to tell no one. Gabriel created the Knights to protect the world, find the Emissary, and hold off Valigroth until his power was restored.
Auringel’s mortality is also the reason he will not be present at the “final battle that isnt truly final”, because too much is at stake for him to die (this also prevents deus ex machina). He will however offer spiritual support and guidance, maybe even appear in vision or temporarily merge with Alex.
At the end of the series Auringel will leave the known world in Alex’s care and go off to fight evil in other uncharted worlds. This poses a question that may be answered later. Alex is not immortal, so who will carry on after he’s gone? His children. Why is that problematic? Because his relationship with Amorelia failed and his love life is in a wreck.
Your thoughts?
Am I over the top?
Hmm. I’m leaning towards saying it’s OK.
Leaning? Is there anything problematic?
Gods in mortal bodies tend to be corny.
But I’m leaning towards saying it’s OK because it sounds like readers and the protagonist will know pretty early on that the character is (sort of) a god, so at least the element of secrecy won’t be much of a problem. Furthermore, the secret identity might be interesting because the hero may have to help the headmaster protect it. It may have dramatic potential.
What if the goddess is immortal but suffers the pains of mortal flesh? Would that be all right?
And how secret is a secret origin if it’s revealed at the beginning of the story and keeps on unfolding?
If the origin is revealed to the readers very early on, it’s probably less of an issue. Telling readers the truth up-front will reduce confusion and probably enhance the dramatic potential. For example, if the plot is about whether the god can maintain his human disguise, it’ll be a lot easier to understand what’s at stake if we understand what’s happening.
Well, I’m writing two separate stories that involve secret origins (or not-so-secret origins.) One is a novel, the other is a short story.
The novel involves the character gradually finding out that about her dad, who was a wolf that became human. (NOT a werewolf, though.) I’m debating about whether or not to go ahead with my plan and have it revealed that a wolf pack who wants to ally with the protagonist have killed her father (for being reckless with his magic) because I don’t want the wolves to appear as rabid killers, but more like soldiers who thought they were defending their lives and property by killing off Native Americans.
The short story is about a god hiding in exile in a desert town. The reason why she’s in exile is the main point of the story (as in she brings a bad omen on the town and needs to find out why). That could work, though, right?
I’m not sure.
–In the first novel, I’m not sure how you could foreshadow the reader in such a way that the wolf-to-human transformation wouldn’t be totally out of the blue. (You might like to watch Holly Lisle’s Case of the Exploding Cat here).
–With the first novel, I feel like there are talking animal concerns. Older readers often have problems taking talking animals seriously, and works with talking animals are almost always aimed at children (Bugs Bunny, Redwall, etc).
–I feel that the second concept is more workable. I’d recommend giving the origin upfront– I suspect that waiting will probably not turn out well. (“Gotcha! She’s been a god all along!”) As a rule of thumb, if a premise is interesting enough to write a book about, it’s usually interesting enough that readers will want to know it upfront.
First off, thank you for the advice.
In the novel the wolves talking are an integral part of the plot because they know things that the main characters don’t know. Is there a way to make them less cliched?
So what if the pov character doesn’t Know his secret. I once wrote a “story” (it wasn’t very good), about a boy who was the offspring of a fire creature, for lack of a better description, and was able to manipulate fire. However, he develops amnesia and forgets about his power. Like I said, this was written when I was younger, and was full of problems, but if your character doesn’t know they are special, say they have amnesia, is it okay to hold back certain aspects of their past until they regain there memories?
Hmm. If the character is an amnesiac, I think that readers will have a sense that the question “who am I?” matters. So I think it has more dramatic potential than suddenly revealing that the character’s adopted parents aren’t his biological parents, etc.
How well did you think JK Rowling handled her secret origins and character twists?
Ron’s rat who was really Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black who was really Harry’s godfather, not a murderer and actually a hero. Professor Quirrell’ in book one was a harmless teacher only really harbouring the Voldemort (qualifies as a ‘demi-god’ I say) on the back off his head, a fact we only discover right at the end. Even the deathly hallows can be seen as a secret origin, like Harry’s cloak. Or do items not count?
I’m guessing I’m a bit late to ask anything but I’ll ask anyway
On the whole subject of gods in normal people, what about if say I basically had a normal person in a gods body and much of the story is actually in the godly realm instead of earth and such
Do we know right away that he’s a basically normal person in a god’s body, or is it supposed to be a surprise that he’s actually a god?
@B. Mac
I have the full idea of the Story and a few others in my review forum. I’m Andy.C, I’m back after a really long absence if you could visit it, it be much appreciated I posted a few questions there, thanks
but I guess I’ll write the story idea here as well,
The embodiment of Death is murdered, because the world needs balance Death’s powers in the form of his Scythe are brought down to earth, someone touches it wham he’s death and he needs to figure out who of the other immortal beings killed him and why
So its pretty straight forward and not a secret…
If it’s not a secret to the reader, I don’t think it’d be a problem.
Also, I’ve updated the top part of your review forum.
Secret origins aren’t usually a problem if they’re secret from the audience too, right?
I recently discovered the game Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, and it has some massive twists at the end, which I think were done quite well, with a bit of foreshadowing. One of the most prominent being why the main character (who is dead) has amnesia for the whole game, while the rest of the characters who die only have it for a minute or two. It also has a good use of time travel.
OK so I have a question about this topic. What if the character doesn’t really know their own origin? What if everything they new is only a partial truth and the whole point of the story is their discovering the whole truth?
Ok so that what two questions, but I would still like some feedback on them.
What if a main character has a sibling who is supposed to be dead but isn’t? Is that an overused plotline or does it still have some degree of originality?
I HAVE RETURNED!
Now to answer your questions.
@Ekimmak: I haven’t heard of the game you’re referring to, but from what I can gather from your statement, I’m guessing that falls more into the category of “twist ending” than “secret origin.” A secret origin usually involves something established about the character’s past suddenly being turned on it’s head. The Most Triumphant Example of this would be “Oh by the way, the evil fascist we’ve been training you to kill is actually your father, and the girl you’ve been romancing happens to be your twin.” Secret origins have been done well, going back all the way to the story of Oedipus. But after Star Wars used this device, a ton of bad imitators cropped up, making this almost hopelessly cliche. So much so that there are more parodies than straight examples. The twist ending on the other hand, has not quite been tired out yet, so as long as it’s well handled, with good foreshadowing as you mentioned, it can work quite well.
@Ghost: A character journeying to find out who they are can make for a very compelling story, even award winning, depending (emphasis here) on how well it’s written and handled. A secret origin is usually only handled if it involves deceiving the audience, establishing something about their past and then suddenly revealing, “Whoops! I lied!”
@GaelicGirl: A relative or friend who is thought to be dead… hmmm… I’ve seen examples of that working, but from what I’ve seen, it works best in the case described above, when a character is journeying specifically to find out who they are and where they come from. For example, an adopted child going to search for her biological mother only to be told that she’s probably dead, and then finding out that she isn’t could make for an excellent story. Something like that shows a character’s perseverance, willpower, and determination to find the truth about themselves. Just as good could be the character journeying to find this person, only to find that they really ARE dead, but they were survived by a close friend or another relative who can tell the character what they were like. Both of those cases are dramatic, dynamic, interesting, and most importantly, have the character taking actions to move the plot forward. However, if a relative thought dead suddenly appears out of the nowhere to give a character helpful wisdom just so we can witness the character’s “But we thought you were dead!” moment, the audience is more likely to roll their collective eyes and sarcastically mumble, “What a twist.”
And my own question is, suppose a fact about the main character is known to the audience and to the side characters, but not to the main character? Is this a justifiable case of dramatic irony?
Example: In the beginning of the story, it’s established through dialogue that a character’s mother is an exiled princess/ex-special forces/ex-FBI agent, etc. but the main character doesn’t know about her past.
P.S.
Dear Admin, please bold the names of the addressees in my previous for me. I forgot that little detail.
“Suppose a fact about the main character is known to the audience and to the side characters, but not to the main character? Is this a justifiable case of dramatic irony?” If you have more than one POV, I am highly confident this would work if one of the other POVs knows this information.
If your narration is limited to what the POV knows and the main character is the only POV, I think it’d be more tricky. In certain circumstances, you might be able to give readers enough evidence for readers to make an inference without the POV making the same inference. In this case, a mental lapse on the main character’s part may be helpful.
For example, let’s say a guy is at school and he sees a guy and a girl stepping out of a janitor’s closet. Most of your readers will be able to guess that the only plausible explanation for this is that they were making out or otherwise engaging in romance. But let’s say you didn’t want it to be immediately obvious to the POV that these two characters were romantically involved. You could do a conversation along these lines…
Main character: “Hey, John! Isn’t that a janitor’s closet?”
*The girl blushes.*
(Thinking quickly for a lie) *John shows the main character a bandaged arm.*
John: “I was looking for the first-aid kit.”
In context, I think most readers (particularly the ladies) will figure out that John was actually doing in there. At the same time, I don’t think that the lie is so completely obvious that the main character will come off as a total dumbass for not figuring it out right away.
I’m not sure if this technique would work for something as removed from the readers’ experience as someone being an ex-princess and/or ex-FBI agent, though. I think the clearest way to convey this information would be to move it into dialogue in a scene with a different POV character.
If the main character is the only POV, I think you could effectively hint at the outline of her past by giving her situations to subtly show off an impressive familiarity with things that most people wouldn’t know about (like being unusually useful/knowledgeable about guns or police procedures and upper-class etiquette), but I wouldn’t expect any readers to infer the particulars on their own.
Hey guys, I’ve got a question for any willing person. It’s kind of personal, but you don’t have to answer. Ok so I’m working on a story where there is a group of high school kids that form a group. The reason they form a group is that they are some of the most teased and otherwise harassed kids at school. They quickly discover that they all have powers and decide to rebel against how their tormentors make them feel by becoming superheroes. So my question is this…what names were you all called in high school? I have this idea that they use the names that they are called as their codenames. So I’d like to get as many opinions/names as possible. And because I don’t expect something this personal for nothing, I will tell you I was teased for being overweight so I was called things like fatso, butterball and fatboy. Doesn’t bother me now, but it did then. So I want people to connect with this story so I’m trying to make it as authentic as I can. So what was your nickname in high school? Remember you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
I wasn’t really picked on in high school – I went to Catholic school and while I was/am dorky nobody really picked on me. I graduated last October, I’m not 18 just yet, so I have a rough idea of what today’s high schools tend to be like.
But I have been called things like “speccy four eyes” and “weeaboo” by my siblings when they are, for some reason, mad at me. I find that namecalling is generally very stupid and juvenile unless a physical threat is also present. Like:
“”Hey, loser!” yelled Bully. He strolled over and whacked the locker next to my head on both sides, trapping me. I tried to shrink away, but with him and his arms at the front and to my sides, and the row of lockers behind me, I was thoroughly boxed in.”
Most people can ignore namecalling but when there’s the danger of being hit, too, it makes it harder to deal with.
Hope I helped.
Our school used academic tracking very aggressively, so I had very little contact with people that were substantially less nerdy than I was. (Most of my high school challenges were class-related rather than classmate-related). So my personal experiences here would probably not be very helpful for you, unless you’re looking for something like…
–B. Mac
–Most Likely to be an Abercrombie & Fitch Centerfold (class elections*)
–Geekzilla (affectionately)
–”a pathological underachiever” (by an economics teacher)
–Wonder Bread (I did well in a talent show by singing 1970s Soul Train songs like Ghetto Child and Rubberband Man)
–QB, rarely (Quiz Bowl slang for “Question-Block.” Only one person per team can try to answer a question, so guessing incorrectly screws your team).
–McFrenzy
–Manorexic (somewhat well-intentioned commentary on my notoriously bad eating habits)
–”you puppy-hating Nazi” (some sort of political disagreement, I think).
I got a waiver for gym, the class that probably would’ve been hardest for me. (Being on the Quiz Bowl squad somehow qualified me for a varsity waiver–YES!).
*And adults wonder why teens don’t have any faith in elections. That’s when mine ended.
“II was called things like fatso, butterball and fatboy. Doesn’t bother me now, but it did then.” If your character takes on a name like Fatso (or some other insult) as his super-identity, one potential concern would be that it’d be making him sound like a one-trait character and the trait probably isn’t that interesting. (If you had to list the ten most interesting things about you as a high school student, would your weight have made the top 5?) Even if the trait was semi-interesting (i.e. somehow related to the character’s personality or relevant to plot-significant choices), like Gothzilla, I feel like it might set up the character as a Goth caricature rather than, say, a character whose Gothiness is merely one part of a bigger picture.
I think deeper characters are more believable and interesting because most people can’t be summed up in a single trait. For example, I’ll be the first to admit I was (and am) a hardcore geek*, but I have interests, shortcomings and strengths that aren’t stereotypically geeky. Likewise, you certainly have interests besides your weight, unless you’re Kirstie Allie (who I’m convinced is under contract by Weight Watchers to mention NOTHING ELSE ever).
*I’ve spent 3000+ hours running a website about how to write superhero stories and have won NBA Jam tournaments. The only way I could add to my geekiness is to win a Star Trek costume competition. (But I’d sooner shoot myself).
“I think deeper characters are more believable and interesting because most people can’t be summed up in a single trait.” I completely agree B Mac. And my best story-creating quality is creating deep characters, so that won’t be a problem. I am aware that these characters will have more about them then what is seen in a single trait. The thing is though, that others don’t see those things. Everyone is judged on physical appearence. And these characters will take those judgemental names and turn them into something good by using them as their codenames. I believe this to be a very interesting and worthwhile idea. What do you all think?
Among others, I have been known as Crazy Cat-Girl/Cat-Woman* (Usually punctuated with a “meeeoooww” from the name-caller. Scarily enough, people still do this when they see me. Even if they weren’t actually in my class when I attended). I’m more recently known as Orphan to the fourth graders, which is just depressing. I’m being namecalled at by kids who weren’t attending the school while I was there. Beyond the Impossible…
It wasn’t so much names with me…the odd physical thing (There was one boy who liked stepping on my feet as hard as he could to try and make me cry. He never succeeded. xD) was present, the usual image-related insults (The “Pilgrim Shoes” incident, I was insulted for being chubby and flat chested by the boys, the usual stuff), and nearly all of the girls in the class pretended I didn’t exist**.
So after years of being an ignored and pudgy bookworm, I hit a growth spurt, dove headfirst into writing, discovered video games and manga, and I transformed into a hat-collecting, TVTropes-addicted paragon of sarcasm. Hooray, happy ending!
- Wings
* Unfortunately, I did not know about the Awesome of a certain DC Catwoman at this time, so I couldn’t take it as a compliment.
**Unless we were working on a group project. I usually got fed up with my partner’s ineptitude and did the whole thing so that I’d at least get a good grade.
Well I’m sorry you went through that. But I imagine that everyone has horror stories from high school. Kids can be cruel. At that’s the point I’m wanting to make with my story. The main characters take their bully-given nicknames and use them as codenames in order to give them a different meaning. I wish I could’ve done this when I was in school. I guess that’s part of the inspiration for the story.
How well did you think JK Rowling handled her secret origins and character twists?Ron’s rat who was really Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black who was really Harry’s godfather, not a murderer and actually a hero. Professor Quirrell’ in book one was a harmless teacher only really harbouring the Voldemort (qualifies as a ‘demi-god’ I say) on the back off his head, a fact we only discover right at the end. Even the deathly hallows can be seen as a secret origin, like Harry’s cloak. Or do items not count?
Of these, the one I remember most clearly was Quirrell as a secret antagonist. I thought it was reasonably effective.
).
1) I don’t feel it was confusing. I feel this is usually more of a problem when the secret origin belongs to a major character, particularly a point of view protagonist.
2) I feel there’s a pretty good reason to hide this information. First, it helps set up the theme that Voldemort is able to subvert/corrupt people that otherwise seem more or less ordinary. (For example, Snape fooled Dumbledore). Second, because he’s an antagonist, there’s at least one excellent reason for Quirrell to hide this information from the protagonists. (And not just because “Hey, Harry, could you come over here so I could kill you?” would make for a pretty awkward conversation
3) Was it intriguing? Not significantly, I feel, but if you picked up on Quirrell’s weird vibe, you might be at least mildly interested to discover the reason.
4) I don’t feel it was contrived. Hogwarts holds at least three things highly interesting to Voldemort: the boy that survived him, the only wizard that worries him, and the item he needs to resurrect himself. So it makes a lot of sense to subvert a Hogwarts teacher.
5) I can’t identify any Quirrell-related continuity errors.
Selene, a MC and dhampir in my story, is “secretly” Armand’s daughter (it’s not really something he’s hiding from her, he just hasn’t specifically told her) but in my story it explains WHY he’s there whether she’s at her hometown or out of state for college. And the whole prophecy that involves her and worldwide destruction further explains why he cares enough to follow her (though it wasn’t really following HER, just the same prophecy she inadvertantly follows) from one state to another and why she came to be in the first place.
It’s also less of a secret because she suspects there’s some sort of connection because she knows he killed her sister and wherever she goes he’s nearby. The only thing she can think of is that they’re related somehow. He killed her sister cause this other group of vampires opposes the whole end of the world scenario and were going to kill the half-blood responsible. Armand stepped into to “help” them, actually leading them to kill the wrong Hawthorne daughter.
This is also one of Selene’s main reasons for hunting demons, ghosts, vampires, other evil associated with the paranormal. That and mostly she just enjoys the fighting. It depends on the mood she’s in. ;D
Sometimes gradually revealed back story can be a good idea I hate it when everything is spelled out in the first volume.
Besides a good story is usually planned out before hand therefore the creator hints at the back-story in subtle ways such as symbolism in the art or hints in characterization.
There shouldn’t be any continuity errors because you’ve already mapped out all the twists and turns along the way.