Dec 11 2007

Quote of the Day

CAPTAIN CARNAGE: Congress has rescinded its approval of waterboarding. We need alternate forms of data extraction.

MIKE: Telepathy?

CARNAGE: Not likely.

AGENT ORANGE: Mammals.

MIKE: …

MIKE: Mindblast?

CARNAGE: No.

MIKE: We could ask real nice…

ORANGE: Are sensory deprivation and uncomfortable sitting positions still available?

CARNAGE: Yes.

ORANGE: As long as we’re thinking hypothetically…

CARNAGE: Of course.

ORANGE: I have an idea… a technique that draws on sensory deprivation and a decidedly uncomfortable position and is somewhat more likely to scare someone shitless than a wet t-shirt. Additionally, it draws on our agency’s species diversity. I believe the risk of decapitation is negligible, but I’d like to test it first. Mike, could you fetch me a melon the size of a terrorist’s head?

*Mike gets up to leave.*

CARNAGE: …

ORANGE: I call my technique “Unhinging Jaw.”

MIKE: Wait, I want to hear this.

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