May 07 2008
Quote of the Day: Questions
Agent Black and everybody’s favorite mutated alligator, Agent Orange, have a strange conversation about killing terrorists with sponge-cake. And other questions you never thought to ask!
Agent Orange: Greetings, Mammal-Black!
Agent Black: Wait, I’m getting a psychic premonition now… you have a bizarre question about humans for me.
Agent Orange: Aha! Your mammalian mind-tricks have failed you.
Agent Black, stunned: You don’t have a question for me? That’d be a first.
Agent Orange: I didn’t say that! My question is about you specifically rather than humans in general. You surely know that I am a wellspring of knowledge on many subjects, such as the hidden depredations of seeing eye dogs, seat-belts and the metric system. So why is it that you never ask me questions?
Agent Black: I think it takes an… uncommon mind to grasp that human “tailbones” are a conspiracy against reptiles.
Agent Orange: My mind is nothing if not uncommon, Mammal-Black!
Agent Black: You are righter than you know. However, until you mentioned the tailbone conspiracy, I was completely unaware of it. So how could I have asked you about it?
Agent Orange: Hmm. I suppose that is sound, but surely other questions have crossed your mind that I could provide insight into.
Agent Black: OK. I’ve heard some crazy things around the lunchroom. Is it true that you’ve accidentally killed a terrorist with a piece of sponge-cake, pop rocks and soda water?
Agent Orange: Accidentally, no. Intentionally, possibly.
Agent Black: Possibly? What happened?
Agent Orange: Have you ever seen the movie Alien? Well, it—
Agent Black: Actually, I’ve decided that I don’t want to know.
