Nov 30 2009
Here’s the script for the page:
Panel 1. Gary frowns at a prominent sign that says…
WELCOME, VISITORS. DO NOT PROCEED WITHOUT ID TAG– YOU WILL BE SHOT. Fine print: (And/or immolated, irradiated and disintegrated as necessary).
HAVE A PLEASANT DAY.
—THE OFFICE OF SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS TEAM
Panel 2. Gary sits down at a chair near the corner. He’s holding a book and briefcase.
Panel 3. He starts reading his book. The title is “Surviving in a New Workplace.”
Panel 4. We’re reading the same page he is. It’s a mushy list of tips for the first day:
- Show up on time (this is checked off).
- Introduce yourself to everyone you meet. Don’t forget to rehearse.
- Practice makes perfect!
- Remember to deliver a crisp and firm handshake!
- Visualize your success!
Panel 5. Gary tries rehearsing his introduction.
Note: this should be from the same camera-angle as panels 6-7, where Agent Orange lowers himself upside-down from the ceiling and surprises him from behind. Part of the surprise is that Gary is sitting in a place where he should be able to see anyone coming.
GARY: Hello. Handshake. I’m Gary. I’m very enthusiastic to interview for this accountant position.
Panel 6. Same shot. However, this time, we see Agent Orange upside down right behind Gary. He’s lowering himself down from the ceiling on a rope, ninja-style. Gary does not notice.
GARY: Although I did not investigate any violent crimes at the IRS, I’m a fast learner and I’m eager to take the next step in my career.
Panel 7. Still upside down, Agent Orange taps a claw on Gary’s shoulder. Make Gary look a bit confused to show that he feels it. He’s definitely not expecting a tap given that he’s sitting in a place where people shouldn’t be behind him.
Panel 8. Gary turns around and sees the mutant alligator hanging right behind him.
AGENT ORANGE: Greetings, prospective accountant!