Nov 12 2008
Manuscript Killers: Immortal Characters
When I’m reading a novel manuscript, immortal characters make me roll my eyes.
1. Immortals are usually angsty and/or Mary Sues. If the character likes being immortal, he’s probably a Mary Sue because he has an incredible gift. If he doesn’t like being immortal, he’s probably an insufferable wangstball. “I’m so bored! Everyone I’ve ever loved is dead.” Boohoohoo.
2. Far too many stories try to surprise readers by suddenly revealing that some character is actually hundreds of years old. Ick! This secret origin story is unconscionably cliche.
3. It’s cliche, particularly in fantasy.
4. An immortal’s backstory is usually unwieldy.
5. Authors usually make characters immortal to suggest that the character is worldly, wise, accomplished, sophisticated and/or experienced. It’s rarely successful. If anything, an immortal will seem less accomplished because he’s had more time to do whatever he’s done.
6. Most authors don’t put in enough effort to make their immortal characters sound like they’re actually old. Immortal characters that sound like generically young twenty-somethings are kind of annoying. Ahem. An incredibly old character should probably have a significantly different voice, interests, mindset and lifestyle than someone who is much younger. Also, if your character is hundreds of years old and still goes to bars and nightclubs, he may inadvertently come off as a perpetual juvenile, like a forty-something that frequents frat parties.
7. It’s much harder to give an immortal character a sense of purpose. Generally, they tend to drift around doing things that don’t add up to very much.
8. Most young authors have trouble writing older characters. That’s not a crippling problem, if your protagonist is pretty young himself. However, if your character is incredibly old, that will draw a lot of attention to how well you can do older characters. It would be bad enough if a 25-year-old sounded like he was 15, but it would be intolerable if he were 250-going-on-15. Some authors try to explain why the 250-year-old sounds like he’s 15 by saying that the character’s species matures very slowly. Usually that explanation isn’t very successful.
My character Requiem isn’t immortal, but he is reincarnated every time he dies. He is indifferent about his ability, and accepts that while most people he’s known are dead, he can communicate with them if he returns to the place they died or frequented in life. Also, the people from his most recent previous life will probably still be alive. That’s what keeps him going, and he slowly moves on with the knowledge that they’ll mourn and continue their lives. We know what he can do right away, and his latest incarnation is twelve years old. Seeing as he goes through all the childhood stages again, he is like any other kid. With multiple lives, and the ability to communicate with the dead. But he watches kid’s TV and like to eat lots of lollies, like any other preteen.
Although there’s some potential for trouble related to past memories, I think you’ll probably be alright there.
It might be especially good if his reincarnation doesn’t remember everything at once.
Ex. Aang is the reicarnated Avatar, but he still has to re-learn the bending elements.
I’ve always been annoyed by this. If I were immortal, I’d probably be pretty blase about it. “Yeah, I’ll never die. Hold on one second, there’s a really good flamewar on Fark.”
I agree that immortals are problematic. I should know, I’m trying to tell a decent story with a bunch of ‘em. (Note: I do not claim that I am succeeding. High fantasy space opera is harder than it looks.) Here’s what I think of your points:
Ad 1) A general statement of this, applicable to mortals and immortals alike, is “Listening to your protagonist whine is a poor substitute for character development.”
Ad 2) and 3) There should be good reasons for the character to be immortal within the story. Don’t use cliches, rock tropes. Immortality should be meaningful, at very least suggesting that the character has some significant role in the grand scheme of things.
Ad 4) and 5) I disagree. Eternal youth can be interpreted in a number of ways, including eternal immaturity. The fear of death is a heck of a motivator for growth — remove it, and something else needs to drive the character’s development.
Ad 6) Yes, and this is terribly open to abuse. The main way to avoid the dreaded “Ass Pull” is foreshadowing.
I think #5 (a character suddenly revealing that he’s been hundreds of years all along) is an instant-rejection waiting to happen. It’s extremely cliche. Also, it tends to play out in the same way. The star-struck protagonist learns that the Mysterious Stranger (who is usually his mentor) is actually the Lost Hero! Ick. That plotline also requires you to delve heavily into backstory so that we know what the lost hero did way back when. Epic backstories are unwieldy.
Regarding #4, eternal immaturity, that’s not necessarily a fatal mistake. However, I think that it (usually unintentionally) makes the hero hard to like. If you actually want the character to come off as a perpetual juvenile a la Old School, though, that’s fine. (I’d recommend having him mature over the course of the story, though).
I think Requiem could be an exception to the immaturity rule.
He gets a different personality, mindset and has to relearn how to walk, talk and use his power every time he’s reincarnated, so it’s like growing up again.
Since he’s only twelve, he’s going to argue his bedtime as set by Owlie, be scared more easily (and get depressed because of the sad ghosts he sees), want to eat junk food and have some trouble understanding difficult concepts. But he’s not a problematic child character, because he doesn’t have cute lines. The cutest thing he ever says is: “Oh, crap. Looks like we’re in for a fight!”
Though he remembers his past lives, anything he did that required huge calculations or science-related subjects is difficult to comprehend. He did it in that life, but doesn’t understand it in this life.
His body is twelve, but his soul (overused word, but looking for a better one) slips out at the instant of death and goes into a newborn child (I’ll have him explain that babies are born without souls and that some of the “trapped emotions” in the world close in on them and inhabit their bodies). Because his soul doesn’t escape and form a ghost when he dies, he retains his memories.
Your thinkings of the subject, please? Haha.
How about “essence” instead of soul?
Yeah, that’s good! Thanks!
Just wondering here…
My character is a vampire, around… sixty or so? She looks physically twenty, but towards the protagonist, she tends to act quite condescending- but in a friendly way. She treats him a lot as though he was her son. As for the whole ‘Boo hoo, I’m immortal, how terrible for me’… it doesn’t really come across. More like ‘Meh. Yeah. Immortal. *goes about business.*’ The way she talks is fairly long-winded, and sometimes she sounds a little posh. (Can’t think of a better word to describe it, though I *hate* the p-word.) Never sure, but I think I based her speech on the way some grandmothers sound.
Anything I should panic about?
No, that sounds pretty good. Of course this article suggests to avoid immortality in general but I can’t see a way to make a vampire without making it immortal, so you’ve done it quite well.
Just keep in mind that this vampire saw Kennedy’s assasination, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Watergate Scandal, the Vietnam War, you get the idea. She’s seen a lot, so yeah, she’d sound like a grandmother.
Thanks. And, actually, it’s set in 1833. So, I’m not so sure on all the Kennedy, Cuban Missile Crisis, Watergate and Vietnam. She would have seen the Napoleonic Wars, though!
(smiles proudly at having thought of a historical event)– No, I am not thick. Stop smirking.
Oh, right, I assumed it was contemporary. Point still stands though!
I’ve got a character in the story I’m working on. He was one of the first superheroes, going back to Roman times. Every time he dies he comes back immune to that method of death (think the new villain Freak from Spider-man), but it’s very specific: he was stabbed so now he can’t be stabbed to death anymore, he’s suffered organ failure so his organs never fail, etc. He’s died from old age and having decayed, so his body has reverted back into an unidentifiable age, making him look like he’s between 30-50 years old. He’s spent the few thousand years hanging out in a cave building stuff. He’s also kind of nonchalant about being immortal. It’s just how he is and he’s fine with it.
He doesn’t actually take place in any real fighting, so he doesn’t overpower anyone, but he does serve a purpose later in the story.
Does this sound like it works? Any ideas on what needs changing?
It depends on his role in the story. If he’s not a fighter, you’ve already saved yourself a lot of hassle with overpoweredness. But where does he fit in?
Well my story is superhero/zombie-based and I was planning on him being a victim. My idea for him was that he would be bitten by a zombie, and die. Before his power kicks in, he’s resurrected as a zombie, and THEN his power kicks in, giving him back his mind, intelligence, etc, but he’s still a zombie. I was thinking he’d be used as a cure-tester, as he can say what happens as they try different strains of a vaccine on him and feel whether it actually helps put the hunger aside or not.
My character is also a vampire – and very old (the history i am learning!). She accepts what she is without much trouble. She neither whines nor brags about it. I haven’t surprised my readers – anyone picking up the book will know it’s a vampire story. I realize that she wouldn’t quite sound like anyone else, and at first I experimented with different voices – but honestly, none of them were hers. So I am dealing with that issue now by having her listen intently to, and mimic modern ways of speaking (whatever era that “modern” is) – but she also simply doesn’t talk that much. These days she goes to a lot of movies. She is actually not truly immortal – and can be killed like other vampires, (sun=bad) so there’s a key vulnerabilty. She doesn’t go to pubs or clubs that often, finding humanity physically hard to take in large doses.
I’ve also tweaked the vampire myth to my own version, and there’s some very powerful bad guys. The back story is unwieldy, that is true – and although I am not a huge fan of flashbacks, they are the best way I’ve found to deal with her history. I am mostly keeping her actions in the present – and am working on a trilogy, to both further her modern story and flesh in more of her past as we go.
Anyway, any thoughts?