May 20 2011

The CDC has a post on preparing for a zombie epidemic…

Published by at 3:44 pm under Comedy,I'm not making this up

Unfortunately, it’s really just a generic “here’s what you should do to be ready for any disaster” plan with zombies thrown in for fun.  Food and medicine are great, but let’s be honest: You’re not actually ready for a zombie apocalypse until you have a machine gun and two bullets for everybody in the county.   (In case you miss, silly).

My zombie defense plan is counterintuitive, but it’s the most popular one in the world.

1. Get eaten.

2.  Whatever else happens, it’s not my problem.

 

5 responses so far

5 Responses to “The CDC has a post on preparing for a zombie epidemic…”

  1. # The ReTARDISed Whovianon 23 May 2011 at 7:35 pm

    My zombie defense plan is:

    1. Run faster than the other people around me.
    2. Make sure to have a large knife handy.
    3. Find a car, preferably a 4WD, and drive until I am in the countryside.
    4. Gather as many fruits as I can and freeze them to be my food supply.
    5. Wait til the zombies die.
    6. Become supreme ruler of Australia.

  2. # NicKennyon 24 May 2011 at 11:28 am

    My plan is act normally as the zombies probably won’t care about Ireland. And if they do, they’ll be Irish zombies and thus, completely ineffective.

  3. # Wingson 25 May 2011 at 8:51 am

    I go to a school for zombie hunters. The island-of-misfit-geeks thing is just a cover story. That’s right: we’re getting obscenely high API scores, and we’re also working to destroy the terrors of the night before you even know they exist. We’re just that good.

    …That could make a really good book.

    - Wings

  4. # The ReTARDISed Whovianon 28 May 2011 at 2:20 am

    Wings: Yeah it would. :3

    If I’m to rule Australia, I’ll need a team of elite tomboyish authoresses. Zombie-killing skills will be a plus. Join me, and you can have Queensland when I rule the country. ;) Its resources include four theme parks, huge banana groves and the Great Barrier Reef.

  5. # Victoriaon 22 Jul 2011 at 11:07 pm

    1. Trip those who look like they’ll run faster than me.
    2. Save my children from the zombies
    3. Get to my van
    4. Get to Tommy’s “bomb shelter”
    5. Gather a small party to go out at night for things to light on fire (I am in charge of anything that burns/The Fire Starter)
    6. Raid small out of the way places (fewer zombies around) that have food/guns/ammo
    7. Become el puño del poder of Cuba [The Fist of Power] (it’s an island, so it will be easier to fortify from any future zombie outbreaks), kick out the cummunists
    8. Turn Cuba into a water park (my own idea of a magic kingdom :D ), charge for admission
    9. Prosper!

Trackback URI | Comments RSS

Leave a Reply