Dec 10 2010
Anti-zombie research is proceeding apace
The U.S. Army bought about 100,000 M4s last fiscal year, improving the nation’s zombie readiness levels from “doomed” to “screwed.” In your face, zombies! Also, the Navy is working on a electromagnetic railgun. When the zombie dolphins are upon us, we’ll be ready.
Other exciting military technology that could mess some zombies up:
- Nuclear rifles
- Flying jeeps
- Chain-saw robots. Brilliantly, these would be powered by biomass furnaces, which would keep fallen humans and plants from turning into enemy combatants. (Also, gasoline would surely be in shorter supply than bodies).
Hmm, I wonder if they know something we don’t…
This is why we lock up dolphins whenever we find them. If released into the wild, they could go zombie at any time. They can still go zombie in Seaworld, but at least this way we can use them for our amusement and glean useful intelligence about the enemy, allowing us to defeat them as easily as we did the gophers.