Jul 02 2010

Automatically generate a plot!

Published by at 10:01 am under Comedy,Plot Generators,Research and Resources

P. Mac coded this random plot generator:

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33 responses so far

33 Responses to “Automatically generate a plot!”

  1. B. Macon 02 Jul 2010 at 10:57 am

    Hmm. This has a few formatting issues, but nonetheless I found it dangerously amusing.

    I’m going to remove phrases like “(he/she) must convince (himself/herself),” because they look horribly awkward. I’ll see if randomly generating a gender is possible, but if not I’ll change it to masculine pronouns across the board. (Feel free to mentally substitute in “she” and “herself,” of course).

    I think we can come up with a way that all the (a)s get turned turned into ‘a’s, and that they only come up when grammatically appropriate.

    I suspect the ‘a’ vs. ‘an’ errors will remain. Maybe PM can come up with a magical solution that changes the ‘a’ in “a [adjective] accountant” to an ‘an’ whenever the given adjective starts with a vowel, but personally I don’t think mixing up ‘a’ and ‘an’ is a major problem.

  2. Milanon 02 Jul 2010 at 7:09 pm

    “After getting insulted by New Guinea, a British agent with major commitment issues must disprove the Heisenberg Principle, preferably before he explodes next Thursday.”

    That works.

  3. bekson 02 Jul 2010 at 8:00 pm

    After getting cheated on by New Guinea, (a) grade-schooler with a penchant for mischief and grand larceny must kill everybody involved.

    XD Wrong…

  4. B. Macon 02 Jul 2010 at 11:35 pm

    “Why are they always about Richard Nixon? o_o”

    The program is just as likely to pick Richard Nixon as any other protagonist. There’s a lot of repetition, though, because there aren’t all that many choices for each category.

    The good news is that P. Mac will update the code to expand each of the categories later this week:
    –Incitements: from 19 -> 32
    –Antagonists: from 19 -> 35
    –Protagonists: from 40 -> 55
    –Goals: from 20 -> 44
    –Adjectives: from ~40 -> ~80

    I won’t belabor the numbers unless you’re interested, but if you generate 5 plots, you only have a 14% chance of getting a unique incitement, antagonist, protagonist, and goal each time.

  5. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 03 Jul 2010 at 6:35 pm

    After getting brained by (a) improbably anti-American businessman, (a) improbably anti-American publisher’s assistant must leave a trail of bodies that makes the beaches of Normandy look like Candyland.

    ……Lolwut.

  6. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 03 Jul 2010 at 6:36 pm

    After getting magically turned into a man-eating llama by a lone gunman, the new kid at school must convince his new driver that brakes aren’t for wusses.

    …okay, yeah, I’m gonna write this. This story NEEDS to be written.

  7. Contra Gloveon 04 Jul 2010 at 5:45 am

    “After getting thrown into a wood-chipper by (a) improbably badass businessman, (a) improbably badass dinosaur must discover that the love interest is the only other racial minority in the book.”

    …huh? Sounds weird. 🙂

  8. B. Macon 04 Jul 2010 at 10:46 am

    “(a) improbably badass dinosaur must discover that the love interest is the only other racial minority in the book” –> It works if you use “race” like fantasy authors do, as a synonym for “species.” So we’re apparently talking about a businessman throwing a lovelorn dinosaur into a woodchipper… in Middle-Earth!

  9. fanon 05 Jul 2010 at 2:18 pm

    After getting brutally murdered by rogue elements of the Brazilian government, (a) priest must convince the American people that Lady Gaga is actually Phase 3 of an alien invasion.

  10. B. Macon 05 Jul 2010 at 9:18 pm

    “After getting forced to read Twilight by an unusually violent pizza boy, a nefarious but occasionally helpful assistant editor must kill everybody involved.” Uncanny!

  11. Peggyon 07 Jul 2010 at 6:13 am

    After getting humiliated by Jerry Bruckheimer, Dan Brown must save the President from a superpowered assassin, The Jackalope. .

  12. Cat of Darknesson 18 Dec 2013 at 9:07 pm

    “After getting disowned by somebody that believes (himself/herself) to be a Greek (god/goddess), (a) brusque but lovable accountant that hates alligators must destroy all the evidence.”

    Mkay.

    “After getting disowned by (a) roguish sorcerer, (a) roguish politician must convince the American people that Lady Gaga is actually Phase 3 of an alien invasion.”

    Oh my gosh, I am still laughing really hard about this. My sides hurt! XD

    “After getting magically turned into a man-eating llama by the evil twin of Richard Nixon, a (a) contemptible but romantic politician with a Ph. D. in pain must return to his home-world.”

    XD

    “After getting forced to read Twilight by a Playboy centerfold working for Jerry Bruckheimer, (a) totally screwed mailman must return to his home-world.”

    Lolwut?

  13. B. McKenzieon 18 Dec 2013 at 11:31 pm

    “After getting kidnapped by Ron Paul, a long-forgotten dinosaur must leave a trail of bodies that makes the beaches of Normandy look like Candyland.”

    “After getting disowned by rogue elements of the Brazilian government, a melancholy porn star must disprove the Heisenberg Principle, preferably before he explodes next Thursday.”

    “After getting cheated on the lovelorn ghost of Martin Luther King Jr., a British agent with major commitment issues must kill everybody involved.” Or get an exorcist or something.

  14. SourCreamTacoon 19 Dec 2013 at 11:20 am

    After getting hired by (a) long-forgotten businessman, (a) long-forgotten student that needs better adult supervision must convince Mossad that he’s not a terrorist, just a Dell customer.

    After getting thrown into a wood-chipper by a Playboy centerfold working for a Playboy centerfold working for (a) improbably badass sorcerer, (a) repulsive scientist that should have known better must woo the love interest without getting busted for stalking or sexual harassment.

    After getting cheated on by a lone gunman, (a) implausibly heterosexual hitman must disprove the Heisenberg Principle, preferably before he explodes next Thursday.

    Btw, who’s P. Mac?

  15. B. McKenzieon 21 Dec 2013 at 12:09 pm

    P. Mac is our technical expert.

  16. SourCreamTacoon 21 Dec 2013 at 2:12 pm

    K.

  17. Makaylaon 01 Jun 2014 at 1:12 pm

    “After getting brutally murdered by a traitorous (a) melancholy plastic surgeon, (a) improbably anti-American hitman must channel the soul of Chuck Norris to kick ass and take names.”
    XD

  18. Mynaon 01 Jun 2014 at 2:44 pm

    “After getting fired by a Playboy centerfold working for a traitorous (a) shifty accountant that hates alligators, (a) wannabe athlete must kill everybody involved.”

    A shifty accountant that hates alligators?! DOES HE HATE FREEDOM?

  19. B. McKenzieon 01 Jun 2014 at 6:40 pm

    “‘After getting fired by a Playboy centerfold working for a traitorous & shifty accountant that hates alligators, a wannabe athlete must kill everybody involved.” A shifty accountant that hates alligators?! DOES HE HATE FREEDOM?” Haha! 1) Probably. 2) Do the alligators think that the supermodel is a Mossad assassin? Double points in this case: the alligators are wearing shirts from various Florida sports teams, so perhaps they count as wannabe athletes, and killing everybody involved is basically a given for a detective story.

  20. Mynaon 01 Jun 2014 at 7:09 pm

    It’s always a Mossad assassin. Especially when you don’t think it’s the Mossad. The guy trimming your garden? Mossad. Door-to-door missionaries? Nope, it’s the Mossad.

    I heard they rigged a telephone in a Spanish hotel to explode just so they could kill a Nazi.

    I also heard that someone in the Israeli side of my family was in the Mossad… but we don’t talk about that guy.

    There’s a little alligator too now! There’s more of them!

  21. B. McKenzieon 01 Jun 2014 at 8:09 pm

    “I also heard that someone in the Israeli side of my family was in the Mossad… but we don’t talk about that guy.” Given his employer, I’m guessing he would appreciate that. 🙂

    “There’s a little alligator too now! There’s more of them!” The fan artist asked if there were any other characters Gain might joke with about Gary, and I told him that tentatively Gain might have a nephew or something. Apparently the nephew is an elite sand artist and (not surprisingly) can name a group who may plausibly want to kill Gary. (Not surprising because everybody wants to kill Gary).

  22. Mynaon 01 Jun 2014 at 8:18 pm

    That nephew definitely has some skills. I must admit, I am jealous. If I could do anything with sand art I would use it as an excuse to go to the beach every 20 minutes. But alas, here I am, drowning in chemistry. Unfortunate life choices indeed…

  23. B. McKenzieon 02 Jun 2014 at 5:38 am

    “Especially when you don’t think it’s the Mossad.” MAYBE THE PRE-SCHOOL NEPHEW IS MOSSAD. The sand castles just give him an excuse to loiter for hours without drawing suspicion.

  24. B. McKenzieon 04 Jun 2014 at 6:56 am

    “After getting cheated on by a streetwise sorcerer, the fast-living ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. must save the President from a superpowered assassin, The Jackalope.”

  25. Mynaon 04 Jun 2014 at 8:19 am

    I smell a bestseller!

  26. Merson 16 Jul 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Friendly reminder that they/them/their as singular gender neutral pronoun has been perfectly acceptable grammar for hundreds of years and also doesn’t leave out nonbinary characters! Thank you

    Although I think “After getting fired by a lone gunman, (a) vengeful dinosaur must land a role in the school play” is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.

  27. B. McKenzieon 18 Jul 2014 at 8:14 pm

    “Friendly reminder that they/them/their as singular gender neutral pronoun has been perfectly acceptable grammar for hundreds of years…” I feel that using a plural pronoun (e.g. “they” or “them”) for a single subject could be awkward, particularly in a sentence that uses a noun which actually is plural. For example, “The generals know that every Marine will carry their weight and more” makes it sound like the Marines are carrying the generals’ weight because the generals are the only plural noun in the sentence.

  28. Freyaon 19 Apr 2015 at 5:11 pm

    “After getting cheated on by a renegade sorcerer, a British agent with major commitment issues must woo the love interest without getting busted for stalking or sexual harassment.”

    Somehow… this makes sense… OMG It works!

  29. Dinoon 03 Sep 2018 at 2:27 am

    “After getting transmogrified by (a) love-lorn sorcerer, (a) love-lorn Army Captain lost in time and space after World War II must land a lucrative contracting…” job? “…before the publisher realizes the author is actually Chris Paolini.”
    “After getting fired by the evil twin of (a) washed-up inventor, (a) cunning academic who is not at all Dan Brown must discover that the love interest is the only other racial minority in the book.”
    “After getting disowned by a Playboy centerfold working for Ron Paul, (a) sadistically hypochrondriac New York Times columnist must avenge (himself/herself) by becoming a renegade FBI agent.”
    “After getting impaled on a national landmark by somebody that believes (himself/herself) to be a Greek (god/goddess), (a) drug-addicted Air Force communications officer must convince Mossad that he’s not a terrorist, just a Dell customer.”
    “After getting kidnapped by West Virginia’s Postmaster General, (a) roguish hitman must disprove the Heisenberg Principle, preferably before he explodes next Thursday.”

    The above are example of ‘I have absolutely no idea what is happening’.

    “After getting insulted by a traitorous (a) priest, (a) fast-living accountant that hates alligators must convince his new driver that brakes aren’t for wusses.”
    “After getting disowned by a drunken cabbie, (a) long-forgotten student that needs better adult supervision must return to his home-world.”

    And these two make sense, but are included because they’re kinda funny. Seriously it’s pretty entertaining seeing what comes up. Such entertaining story ideas. And good challenge would be see if someone can take the first idea that comes up and then give them a day to plan and write a short story on it. That would be entertaining.

  30. B. McKenzieon 05 Sep 2018 at 2:11 pm

    ” “After getting fired by the evil twin of (a) washed-up inventor, (a) cunning academic who is not at all Dan Brown must discover that the love interest is the only other racial minority in the book.” This actually does sound like a Dan Brown plot (minus the racial minority angle). Incidentally that doesn’t make it sound any less ridiculous.

  31. B. McKenzieon 30 Sep 2018 at 8:52 pm

    “After getting humiliated by the CIA, a deranged New York Times columnist must kill everybody involved.” Paul Krugman, call your lawyers.

  32. Cat-Vacuumer Supremeon 01 Oct 2018 at 6:44 am

    “After getting victimized by a traitorous (a) fast-living (a) long-forgotten New York Times columnist with a lamentable addiction to murder, (a) repulsive (a) repulsive (a) fast-living (a) long-forgotten New York Times columnist with a lamentable addiction to murder with a lamentable addiction to murder with a lamentable addiction to murder must destroy all the evidence.”

    I think I might have found a bug.

  33. B. McKenzieon 01 Oct 2018 at 2:20 pm

    The bug here is that it doesn’t know to pick a new attribute rather than use it again. Some of the antagonist phrases include an adjective (sometimes multiple) and all of the protagonists include at least one, and I think it’ll always be the same adjective used. I didn’t code it, sorry. 😀

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