May 22 2010
Seriously?
I tried working on The Taxman Must Die today but got distracted by an NBA idiot getting fined $100,000 for speculating about whether a player would leave his team and join the idiot’s. Here are some other things (related to taxmen and the untimely demises thereof) you can get for $100,000.
- 15.6 issues’ worth of labor on The Taxman Must Die (best guess: $200 per page)
- 25,000 copies of The Taxman Must Die (best guess: $4 per issue)
- 694.4 hours of therapy (for coping with mutant alligator partners) – $144/hour
- 20,040 jars of gator repellent (so that you don’t need the therapy) – $4.99 each
- 2532 cases of heavy-duty gator repellent (in case the mayo fails) — $39.49 each
- 2.6 Stinger surface-to-air missiles (in case you aren’t taken seriously as an officer of the law) – $38,000 each
- 840 water coolers (in case you need something to prop the Stingers up against) — $119 each
- 3.3 class A felonies (such as murdering a taxman) — a maximum criminal fine of ~$30,000
- 158.7 refrigerators (for hiding the bodies) — $629 each
- 2.08 Basic Employee Death Benefit packages (for taxmen that do die) — $49,000 each?
