Jul 07 2009
How to make travel-scenes interesting
Many novels, particularly fantasies, spend a lot of time on traveling scenes. Here are some suggestions to keep the journeys smooth and interesting.
1. Don’t give the journey more length than the goal merits. If the characters take a 20-page trip through the wilderness to find something minor, readers will probably feel annoyed. In contrast, a journey that is absolutely critical to the plot might span hundreds of pages. For example, if the book is about settlers on the Oregon Trail, then almost all of the book is probably going to be in transit.
2. Make the journey urgent. For example, the characters are running out of time and/or they are in danger. Urgent journeys are usually more interesting. Urgent journeys also go farther to develop how impressive the characters are. Anyone can get around the world, but doing it in 80 days in 1872 is pretty remarkable.
3. Use the trek as an opportunity for character development. A strong journey usually requires chemistry between the characters. Chemistry is hard to pin down, but it generally entails a bit of conflict and style.
4. Show us some new scenery. In a fantasy, this is a great opportunity to use your imagination. Why should travelers should stay away from the Mangled Forest?
5. Stay away from redundancy. For example, if the characters defend themselves from bears one page, it would be pretty boring if they had to fight off wolves or wild zebras or rabid gnomes or whatever a few pages later. Also, don’t spend too much time building the landscapes. Show us just enough to build a mood.
6. A journey depends on effective use of low-intensity pacing. Unlike, say, a car chase, a journey is going to consist of scenes that are mostly unintense. There may be brief intervals of intense action (probably combat), but those will get redundant fairly quickly. In general, suspense and/or spookiness usually go farther than a battle royale rumble through the jungle.
7. If at all possible, just cut out the description of the journey by having the narrator tell us that the characters made it. If you can do that without eviscerating the plot, chances are that the journey isn’t important enough to draw out. Readers will really thank you for glossing over minor, boring details. (For example, see our review of Empire of Ivory).
Also, this article doesn’t really apply to comic books very much. Because of length requirements, most comic books avoid long traveling sequences. Additionally, most comic books are set in modern times where traveling is not very dramatic. (Would you want to read 20 pages of the X-Men traveling from New York to Japan?)
The only exception I can think of is that the protagonist in Y: The Last Man has to travel thousands of miles across a post-apocalyptic United States.
Just finishing up the Dark Tower series, and King does this particularly well, especially in the first two books.
Hmm, I’ll have remember this. I’ve been planning a survival story.
This will help me a lot. At least two of my ideas (it may become one, because I can probably combine them) have lots of travelling in them, because in one the protagonists are trying to cross the country to a place that is safe from the invading army. In the other they are trying to find a diamond that will save the main character’s country from being trapped in crystal for all eternity.
Hello, JM. What do you like about King’s traveling scenes?
I like the unique obstacles they encounter along the way and the differing modes of transportation. The train, specifically, comes to mind.
Just one quick question: What would you suggest to be the best way to travel across five states? Superhumans are not allowed to use public transportation systems, and no one is going to let three mutants get into their car, so hitchhiking is out, too. They don’t have a car…Do you think that it would be realistic for them to walk all the way?
The two other options that I have are:
1. Daniel and Rebecca are ‘normal’ enough to be able to get on a bus, no prob. Someone could then smuggle Eva in.
Or…
2. Daniel’s fifteen (close enough; he’s tall for his age, and somehow, I can’t see him being that reckless of a driver) , so someone could, I don’t know, hotwire a car or something, and he could drive.
Which one would work best?
“What would you suggest to be the best way to travel across five states? … They don’t have a car…Do you think that it would be realistic for them to walk all the way?” Depending on the states, possibly. The northeastern states are smaller and not very mountainous, so I don’t think it’d be too hard to hike across five state lines. For example…
).
Philadelphia, PN to Trenton, NJ is 30 miles on foot. (~12 hours on foot).
Trenton, NJ to New York, NY is 60 miles on foot (about one day).
NYC, NY to Hartford, CT is 110 miles on foot (about two days).
Hartford, CT to Providence, RI is 80 miles on foot (about a day and a half).
Providence, RI to Boston, MA is about 40 miles (~18 hours).
I think you could hike from Philadelphia to Trenton to NYC to Hartford to Boston in 7-10 days with rest time factored in. Maybe they’d go a bit slower if they’re cautious about minimizing contact and/or dodging police. PS: If they own bikes (or steal them), they could probably go much faster—maybe 10-15 miles per hour, so this hike would drop to 2-3 days, I think. Stealing a bike is a much less serious crime than stealing a car and a kid on a bike’s going to attract a lot less attention than an unlicensed teen trying (probably not very well) to drive. It’s not just a matter of recklessness, but of competence/experience. (Also, even a tall 15 year old’s going to raise some eyebrows at the toll-booth
Thanks! 5 states was just an estimate that I had…I’m not sure even where the story is set. Right now, I’m kinda considering Ohio, but that could change. I know that they need to get to Washington, DC, though
Anyway, hiking was originally my first thought, but I was worried about the toll that it would take on some of the younger people. I had an idea that some people would be sympathizers, and, therefore, be willing to let a few mutants sleep over, so that they don’t have to camp.
Also, I can just see Daniel getting frustrated with his (slower) companions: “Come on, guys, we don’t have all day! Can’t you go any faster?”
“No!”
Yeah…Great idea!
I suggest the stealing bikes thing. Though if Daniel has stolen cars before he might have enough experience to drive competently. Additionally he could have a fake ID.
Maximum Ride (yes, I know. The worst and most inexcusable, cheesy, and contrived deus ex machina in I think the third book?) has the kids hotwire cars and drive across the country when they aren’t flying so you could probably get away with it if you go that route and actually know how to drive and research how to hotwire a car for accuracy.
“Though if Daniel has stolen cars before he might have enough experience to drive competently. Additionally he could have a fake ID.” I dunno. If the police have pulled him over, I don’t think a fake ID would help very much. (When you hand over your license and registration, the officer will check the license and registration in his computer to see if your registration is current, if there are any outstanding warrants for your arrest, if your license is legit, etc). I don’t think a fake ID can withstand electronic scrutiny very well–there won’t be any record of your alleged license number and your alleged name in their database.
Realistically, if a character has been pulled over by police (for, say, speeding or appearing young enough to concern a tollbooth operator or because the police were looking for this particular stolen car), there’s pretty much no way the police could go through this encounter without discovering the car was stolen. So, if the character doesn’t do SOMETHING, he’s getting arrested. The only remotely plausible escape opportunities I can think of involve 1) using superpowers, 2) driving away while the police officer is going to use his computer (HIGHLY idiotic in real life), and/or 3) being a Congressman.
FotV/Anna: Guess where I got the “hotwire a car” idea from? You guessed it…Maximum Ride I didn’t even know that this would work out in real life…That same scene, where they get pulled over, was when I stopped liking the series so much. (Yes, the main reason I liked it was because Angel was cute.
)
B.Mac: If they got pulled over by the police, they are definitely in trouble:
1. Stealing cars is, y’know, pretty bad. Jail time!
2. Mutants are not allowed to do a whole list of stuff. Traveling outside of their home city is one, as is driving…There are others. This is not just jail. This is getting thrown in a top secret facility in Washington, DC, where Adam is.
Yeah…Still deciding between walking/biking…I don’t know if Eva would even be able to ride a bike, though, without being too obvious, but, then again, who wants to walk from Ohio to Washington, DC? Not me, I can tell you that.