Nov 07 2008
Writing Tip of the Day: Make Your Story Intriguing, Not Cryptic
Many stories create suspense by withholding important information (like the killer’s identity, in a mystery) until the end. But publishers usually reject works that are cryptic. How can you make your work intriguing (good) rather than cryptic (painful)?
1. Secrets that are known to the audience, like a superhero’s alternate identity, are usually intriguing rather than cryptic. Will Batman be able to keep his identity a secret from his enemies? That’s an interesting question.
2. It’s also intriguing when the hero tries to uncover a secret, like the identity of Mr. Body’s killer. The detective and audience don’t know the killer’s identity at the book’s start, but it’s intriguing because we can follow along as the hero tries to solve the case. That creates anticipation.
3. However, secrets that are neither known to the audience nor pursued by the characters are usually cryptic. When your mentor reveals on page 200 that Leia was your hero’s sister, your readers’ initial reaction will probably be “what the hell?” rather than “cool!” A secret that comes out of the blue usually isn’t very interesting. There’s no anticipation. In contrast, if Luke had been investigating Leia’s lineage for several chapters, then finally learning that she’s his sister could be neat (although cliche).
Here are some other tips that will help you avoid overly cryptic writing.
1. The reader is entitled to know everything that the point-of-view character knows. If the POV withholds information, readers will probably feel angry and misled but definitely not intrigued.
2. Characters should not withhold information from the POV/audience unless they have a good reason to do so. “But I won’t be able to draw out the plot if the mentor tells the hero what’s going on!” is not a good reason. “I want to surprise my readers later on” is even worse. When an author withholds information to surprise us, we probably don’t have enough information to understand and enjoy the story as it is happening.
3. Deception is generally confusing rather than intriguing. When one character says that he’s 17 and he later turns out to be 14, readers will typically conclude that the author has made a mistake, not that the character is lying. Here are a few tricks to help readers keep track of a deception-laden plot.
- You can give the character a reputation as a liar so that we will discount what he says.
- Make it clear that he has a reason to lie. For example, a defendant in a murder case will claim he’s innocent on the witness stand. Because he has so much incentive to lie, readers will take his statements with a grain of salt.
- You can use phrases like “he claimed” or “he lied” to make the statements seem dubious.
I’ve been working on a story involving deception. It’s only reached the “notes” phase, but the basic sketch is that a space faring warship attacks an enemy base- and everything goes pear shaped. They had bad intel, and get pwned. But the black hole the enemy base was orbiting was actually a (literally) post-singularity civilization that absorbed all information that reached its ergosphere, and everything after a certain point in the battle happens in a computerized civilization.
Crossing “The Prisoner” with cyberpunk/singularity fiction.
Just an odd note that seems apropos in response to this post. Odds are I’ll never finish it, but hey- I can hope.
Well, I think it’s kind of appropriate here. Your story doesn’t seem to hinge on deception, but misperception (about what’s going on and how strong the enemy base is) does seem to play a vital role. For example, if I were going to modify my advice on deception for you, instead of offering suggestions like “give your liars a reputation of lying,” you can say that the attacking species has a history of rushing into things that it doesn’t really understand, that its military intelligence is always screwed up, whatever.
I don’t think it would be cliche to discover Leia was Luke’s brother. I mean, hey, she had a sex change! Oh, sorry, that was a typo, was it?
Smart alec!
Haha, anonymous. Good eye. I’ve corrected the typo.
lol.
In my novel, the main characters (Sebastian, Chloe, and Claire) are abandoned by their mother at a young age. Sebastian is enraged by this and instead insists that she is dead. After all, no one leaves Sebastian. The girls never really discuss the situation because it is obviously a sore subject.
As it stands now, Sebastian begins the story mentioning the ‘death’ of their mother. He never really comes right out and says that their mother is dead, the farthest I allow it to go is “when mother left us”. It kind of gives the hint that she is dead, but at the same time kind of leaves the option for her to still be alive and wandering around out there.
I foreshadow that this is just Sebastian’s lie when Chloe betrays him by kidnapping Claire and leaving him behind. Sebastian denies Chloe’s existance entirely. A few chapters later, Claire will reveal that she was the one that “sent” their mother away. But not to her siblings, she just finally reveals it during the context of her chapter.
My question is I suppose, should I reveal this much earlier? Is it too much of a shock? I feel that I should definitely should bring this up before the end of the first book because it is vitally important to the second. And if I don’t bring the mother back in in the second, then other things can’t happen later and so on.
I know, I’m just so chock full of inane questions. It is obvious that this is my first novel, no?
Hmm. It might be confusing if Sebastian claims that the mother is dead and we later learn that’s not true. On the other hand, I don’t think it’ll be too much of a problem because there is a good reason that Sebastian is an unreliable witness. To help prepare your readers for the revelation that the mother isn’t actually dead, I’d recommend emphasizing that Sebastian has been badly shaken-up and isn’t entirely in control of his faculties.
Also, you might have Chloe argue with him about whether their mother is alive or not. Even if we don’t know whether Chloe or Sebastian is correct, that would remind readers that there’s controversy about the underlying facts. That will make it much easier for readers to keep track of what’s happening.
Hmm, I think it would make a good twist, but you should put in a few instances of foreshadowing instead of just one or two. That would increase the intriguing side and not make it a huge mystery. Dropping a few hints would show that something isn’t quite right.