Yeah, I just picked A, B, C, and D so it’d be easier to choose temporary names. The whole “Alice and Bob” trope.

Thanks for the input.

This story I’m working on is only really aimed at two or three people I know, and it’s more of an experiment to see what I can do in this one, non-magic, normal setting. I’ve got the plot thought up and I’ve set little goals for myself to see what I can and can’t write well. I’m up to “attempt to write a twist or big revelation”, but I guess I’ll have to think of something else, if this Drew thing is too confusing. I’m trying not to end up writing a “shocking swerve”, where the twist comes out of nowhere and makes no sense, but I also don’t want to give too much away and make it obvious.

Alex (male) works for Bob’s family, namely, looking after Bob as a glorified nanny.

He used to date Carla and Drew. Bob knows their names and has naturally assumed both were girls, but Drew is a guy. Due to a mix up that Drew catches onto when Bob recognises him from a photo, Bob is only even more convinced that Drew is a girl. So, to spare Alex an explanation, he goes by his other nickname – Andy – when talking to Bob.

So, Alex is deliberately withholding that info from Bob for personal reasons. When the characters (very briefly) mention Drew, there are no indications of gender. Only when Alex mentions him to Bob, he calls him “she” and the like to keep up the charade. This is the only indication of Drew’s gender gender, from Alex’s dialogue.

I’m hoping that anyone who reads won’t notice that Drew’s gender hasn’t been mentioned outside of Alex’s words. (So I’m not taunting them with “I know something you don’t know”)

Later on, I’ve started dropping hints, but trying to throw them off with references to a girl Alex was once friends with, hoping the readers, like Bob, will assume that her name is Drew.

About a chapter after that, the reader will find out that Andy and Drew are the same person. (And hopefully realise Alex has been lying to Bob about it all) Then, to create tension, Bob starts to figure it all out.

Do you think I should just mention Drew’s gender from the get-go? I really like the idea of three layers of revelation – the audience not knowing who Drew is, the audience finding out, and then Bob starting to figure it out. I figure it would work better if the audience suddenly has it revealed so they better understand Bob’s shock when he finds out. But, of course, if I was certain, I wouldn’t be asking. XD

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Is “The mentor is secretly working for the bad guys” a good reason?

As it stands now, Sebastian begins the story mentioning the ‘death’ of their mother. He never really comes right out and says that their mother is dead, the farthest I allow it to go is “when mother left us”. It kind of gives the hint that she is dead, but at the same time kind of leaves the option for her to still be alive and wandering around out there.

I foreshadow that this is just Sebastian’s lie when Chloe betrays him by kidnapping Claire and leaving him behind. Sebastian denies Chloe’s existance entirely. A few chapters later, Claire will reveal that she was the one that “sent” their mother away. But not to her siblings, she just finally reveals it during the context of her chapter.

My question is I suppose, should I reveal this much earlier? Is it too much of a shock? I feel that I should definitely should bring this up before the end of the first book because it is vitally important to the second. And if I don’t bring the mother back in in the second, then other things can’t happen later and so on.

I know, I’m just so chock full of inane questions. It is obvious that this is my first novel, no?