Oct 30 2008

Titles to Inspire You!

Published by at 1:52 pm under Writing Articles,Writing Exercises

Are you in need of a writing exercise?  Try writing a story with one of these titles.

  • Breakfast on the Rooftop
  • The Dream of Centuries
  • The Bride’s Got a Gun
  • Man Down!
  • Dancing in the Kitchen
  • The Beginner’s Guide to Nuclear Apocalypse
  • Bob’s College of Knowledge
  • Weirdbeard, California

24 responses so far

24 Responses to “Titles to Inspire You!”

  1. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 30 Oct 2008 at 6:32 pm

    “The Beginner’s Guide to Nuclear Apocalypse: Zombie Edition”

    Number one, be wary of zombies. Number two, do not attempt to reach loved ones. There can only be three outcomes: that you will be killed on the way, that you will get there and find them dead, or that you will get there, they will be a zombie, and you have to kill or be killed. Three, arm yourself with a baseball or cricket bat, a rifle or gun if possible, and strike at the head. Four, travel in groups. If you’re not in a group, find one. Five, if a group of zombies is near, observe their actions and mimic them in order to get past safely. Six, zombies only walk or limp. Do not attack anyone running towards you. That would mean one less survivor. Seven, if possible, get ahold of a heavy vehicle such as a bus or a 4WD. Load it up with food and weapons, and ensure that there is no easy way for a zombie to get in. Do not be afraid to mow some of the undead down, or shoot from the windows. Eight, head to a country area where the population is small and the radiation will be thin. Nine, set up a safehouse. Something on thick stilts with motor oil slicking them up will be good. Remember that when all food supplies have been exhausted, zombies may go wandering. You are never 100% safe. Ten, if all else fails, curl into the foetal position and cry.

  2. B. Macon 30 Oct 2008 at 6:41 pm

    Also, try not to be bad-looking. Ugly people have a 0% chance of being of the 2-4 people surviving at the end of the movie.

  3. Bretton 30 Oct 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Eleven, now would be a good time to call Washington, D.C. for a thermonuclear bomb. Twelve, watch the pretty lights…or not. You might burn your eyes out. Anyhow, the undead are gone for good. NOTHING could survive that blast except cockroaches and twinkies…maybe The Joker, he can survive anything. Unless it’s done by Batman, in which case he’s screwed.

  4. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 30 Oct 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Yeah, that too. Or at least wear some sort of a mask to disguise any ugliness. Just make sure it isn’t a Halloween mask, or else you would risk getting shot by terrified survivors.

  5. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 30 Oct 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Twelve, try to stamp on all the cockroaches so that they don’t evolve into intelligent life forms. Humans must reign supreme!

  6. Ragged Boyon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:16 pm

    Thirteen, lose weight fast, if the unzombified humans have no more food supplies, they’re going to eat the fattest person first. Cannibalism, I’d try it

  7. Ragged Boyon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:17 pm

    I’m going to do one on “Dancing in the Kitchen” but add a psychotic twist.

  8. FarawaySoulon 15 Jul 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Ragged Boy, I think most people would lose weight in face of a worldwide zombie attack coupled with dwindling food supplies…

  9. Tomon 16 Jul 2009 at 2:09 am

    “Six, zombies only walk or limp. Do not attack anyone running towards you. That would mean one less survivor.” Clearly you’ve never heard of a fast zombie.

    Oh well, that’s one less survivor during the zombie apocalypse. More supplies for me! ^_^

  10. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 16 Jul 2009 at 3:46 am

    “Oh well, that’s one less survivor during the zombie apocalypse. More supplies for me!”

    Yeah, but then there’s less in the gene pool. If the world is going to be repopulated after the zombie threat is destroyed, it’s safer to have more diversity. Don’t want any three headed mutant babies crawling around because of inbreeding. Haha.

  11. FarawaySoulon 16 Jul 2009 at 3:54 am

    Fourteen, try not to engage zombies in a construction zone. Chances are, most of them will have helmets on, making headshots difficult.

    And who said that mimicking a zombie makes them ignore you? They rely only slightly, if at all, on their sight. How else do they detect things accurately after dark?

  12. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 16 Jul 2009 at 3:58 am

    “And who said that mimicking a zombie makes them ignore you?”

    It worked in Shaun of the Dead . They got past the zombies and into the pub which they used as a base. But, rest assured, not everyone makes it out alive. What kind of zombie movie would it be if someone didn’t die? Haha.

    I love that movie. Like one of the taglines says, it’s a zom-rom-com. Haha.

  13. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 16 Jul 2009 at 3:58 am

    Fifteen, stay away from animals. They tend to get infected and rip out their owner’s throat. Yes, even goldfish.

  14. FarawaySoulon 16 Jul 2009 at 5:00 am

    She’s right. Goldfish, when infected, grow fangs up to 2 inches in length. Watch out!

    😛

  15. Ragged Boyon 16 Jul 2009 at 5:45 am

    Fifteen, pray to god you don’t get Left 4 Dead or Resident Evil zombies who are far less lazy and more evolved than their predecessors. They run fast, they climb, they constrict you with their tongues, and when they die you can expect something worse to come out of them.

    Oh, and best believe they’ll find ya… 😉

  16. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 16 Jul 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Sixteen, try to set up a fort in a supermarket or some place with heaps of food and bathroom facilities. Use the supplies in the gardening section to construct a high wall with pirchforks at the top to skewer any climbing zombies. If you have internet access, search “how to make bombs” and prep them to explode if the zombies breach the barricade.

  17. FarawaySoulon 16 Jul 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Actually, I would encourage you not to make forts in supermarkets.

    Most supermarkets showcase their food with large, glass windows. Even if they don’t, food that is not packaged will rot, causing health issues if you stay for more than several days. In case of a major zombie attack, power will also be cut – thus even freezers will not preserve your food.

    Also, many survivors will be trying to get food from the supermarket. They will probably lure hordes of zombies – stemming from the sheer amount of people flocking towards the market – to your base. Stench from rotting food will also lure zombies.

    Also, zombies can’t climb. But most supermarkets have giant parking lots with easy access. How do you hope to have a fence made so quickly? Most likely it will be crudely made and weak.

  18. FarawaySoulon 16 Jul 2009 at 11:27 pm

    And an objection to number 7: No. Don’t do it.

    Busses are gas-guzzlers, and have trouble turning. You won’t get far with a bus, and running over zombies will wreck it. Zombies will also cave in the door, push in windows, and otherwise make their way in somehow. The best weapon you have against zombies is speed, not firepower or weight. If your car is stuck and you’re in a bus, you’re little more than canned meat.

    You should never carry too many weapons on a bus. If the bus runs out of gas (which it will, quickly), you will have to leave just about everything behind.

  19. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 17 Jul 2009 at 1:44 am

    Yeah, I guess you’re right.

    In that case, I would get a van, tip all the crap out of it, load plenty of food and water from my house, pack clothes, batteries, torches etc. I probably wouldn’t be able to get a gun, because civilians aren’t allowed to use them in Australia, but knives and pitchforks would work just as well, along with hammers and axes. I could easily get that stuff from the kitchen and shed.

    I’d try to get food which can be preserved for longer, like stuff in foil. Crisps, cookies, etc. I’d take cans of soup, or some instant stuff, and coffee and tea for energy. Hot chocolate, too, just for the sake of it. I would kill a million zombies to get chocolate. Haha.

    I wouldn’t take meat, because it’d go off and take up space. (It’d be illogical anyway, because I’m a vegetarian)

    I’d take plenty of bread (I love toast) and butter, some Vegemite and cheese.

    I could stop at petrol stations in remote areas to steal some ice bags to keep the food cold. If I could get hold of a small barbecue and a gas bottle, that would be even better. At least I could have a warm meal that way. I’d take cans of soup, or some instant stuff, and coffee and tea for energy. Hot chocolate, too, just for the sake of it. I would kill a million zombies to get chocolate. Haha.

    I’d also take a bunch of cigarette lighters and possibly cigarettes, too. They could be good for trading further on, if I met other survivors. I’d probably join them, too.

    I’d take medicine and bandages in case of any injuries. If they came from a zombie, though, I’d just leap off a building.

    And that is my zombie survival plan.

  20. FarawaySoulon 17 Jul 2009 at 3:43 am

    Notice how you said that you’d “kill a million zombies to get chocolate” twice.

    Sorry for being obsessed with zombies here :/

  21. ShardReaperon 17 Jul 2009 at 8:01 am

    I think the Resident Evil zombies (at least the slow moving ones from 5) would be fine. Rule seventeen: If you’re in a shopping mall, use everything to take them out, a la Dead Rising.

  22. FarawaySoulon 17 Jul 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Seventeen, if you get bitten by a zombie in a shopping mall, drink orange juice to heal your wounds.

    Don’t ask stupid questions. Just do it.

  23. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 17 Jul 2009 at 8:34 pm

    Eighteen, don’t be afraid to take a meat hook from the butcher shop and start stringing zombies up.

  24. B. Macon 20 Jul 2009 at 6:13 am

    “Fifteen, stay away from animals. They tend to get infected and rip out their owner’s throat. Yes, even goldfish.”

    In an upcoming webcomic, Agent Orange disputes this. He concludes that alligators are immune to zombitis based on the complete lack of zombie gators in any medium. He also concludes that a lack of gators is the only reason Kentucky has more zombie outbreaks than Florida does. His vigilance against the zombie threat will first emerge when he tries to put a toddler in quarantine. You know… a lumbering human with impaired speech that tries to teeth on everything in sight is clearly in danger of becoming a zombie. “You’re missing the signs, Agent Black!”

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