Jul 10 2008
11 Examples of Gimmicky Writing
Gimmicky writing is when a writer tries something “new” that annoys readers, rather than actually giving a better reading experience.
1. Having more than two point of view characters.
2. Having only non-human characters, particularly if you wait more than a page to tell us what’s going on. (Telling us halfway through that all the characters are squirrels or computers or toasters is definitely a gimmick of the worst sort).
3. Writing without the letter E.
4. The detective is the killer! The monster was really the hero all along! The damsel in distress is the world’s most powerful superhero!
5. The story is narrated by someone who’s either dead or in the womb.
6. The story is in reverse chronological order.
7. Not naming the characters.
8. Leaving the characters unnamed for 90% of the story, just so you can “surprise” us at the end by revealing that the main character is really some historical personality (usually Hitler or Jesus).
9. “It was all a dream!” Or a hallucination or hologram.
10. Mixing high fantasy with high sci-fi: space dragons! Magical cyborgs! Zombie unicorns!
11. Present tense.
2) is bad writing, but it can make a good joke. Was done in a Garfield cartoon.
(Garfield is watching a horror movie)
Man: Yes, come with me Alice
Garfield: No, don’t go with him Alice
Man: Trust me Alice
Garfield: No, don’t trust him Alice
Alice: Oh, I do trust you. I feel safe with your hand in mine. Your other hand on my shoulder. Your other-
(Alice screams)
I swear, I’m going to get a novel published, leave the protagonist unnamed throughout, all kinds of brilliant, wonderful, simply awesome unicorn-farting events happen to him, and the very last lines…
“So, with his dying breath expelled, the man, the savior, the lunch special, Meat Loaf Aday died.”
“And he still wants his effing money back.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tRqf1oLX4w