Jun 25 2008
5 Common Mistakes for First-Time Novelists
This short article will help beginning novel-writers avoid five common mistakes that will usually cause publishers to throw out a manuscript.
1. Please do not have a character gaze at his own reflection in a mirror, pool or any other reflective surface. That’s a cheesy way to describe what a character looks like and will cause most professional publishers to reject your manuscript. Fortunately, there are better ways for you to establish a character’s appearance than having him gaze at himself, such as his actions, backstory and dialogue. If he nervously steps on a scale, we’ll visualize him as overweight. If he’s a boxer, we’ll visualize him as well-built.
2. Be careful with scenes that feature characters eating. Eating scenes are typically boring filler. Every scene should either develop a character or advance the plot, but eating scenes are usually extended chats with sensory imagery mixed in. Don’t let your novel manuscript sound like a food review.
If you use an eating scene, make it interesting by adding danger or intrigue. Perhaps the dinner is part of some larger conflict, like a white woman bringing home a black fiancee to her disapproving family. Or maybe someone’s poisoned the food. As a rule of thumb, if the scene is about what the characters are eating, it probably sounds more like a food review than a story.
3. Please don’t switch point-of-view midchapter. Switching POV mid-chapter will disorient and confuse readers. Generally, it’s smoother and less confusing to add a chapter-break whenever you want to switch POV. If something has happened that’s important enough to make you want to change POVs, it’s probably important enough to justify a chapter-break.
4. Even if you’re writing medieval fantasy, I’d recommend avoiding melodramatic syntax and language. Phrases like “is it not?” and anything that sounds Shakespearean tend to disorient modern audiences. You don’t have to use modern slang, of course, but you are writing for a modern audience. So please make sure that modern audiences can easily read your book! One way you can combine an old-fashioned style with modern legibility is by avoiding contractions. Depending on how old your readers are, you might also consider using longer sentences.
Relatedly, I’d advise against quoting Shakespeare and other classical English authors. It may come off as pretentious, particularly if your novel is written for casual and/or younger readers.
5. I recommend avoiding characters that switch back and forth between several species. These characters are often usually poorly-developed Mary Sues.
This article was the first part of a series. If you’d like to read about how to avoid other common writing mistakes, you’ll find the links just below.
1. I only mention the appearance of my characters passively. Like: “My mum brushed some of my fringe out of my eyes” shows that the character has a relatively long fringe. Or: “Her brown eyes were lit up with happiness”, because it adds more detail to the sentence.
2. I have a few scenes where the characters are eating, but it’s more about the conversation than the food.
3. I always change chapters when changing from first to third person.
4. Oh, God, please no.
5. Doesn’t apply.
I think your approach to #1 is pretty good. I appreciate that your sentence does more than tell us that the character’s eyes are brown.
You approach to #2 sounds workable as well.
I’m slightly concerned about the concept of mixing first-person narration and third-person narration in a single novel. There’s probably a good reason from your perspective (something like making sure that the reader gets relevant information that the main character doesn’t have access to, I bet), but I’m not sure if the readers will get the change. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book try it before.
Oh God, no, is just what I thought for #4…
#5 is kind of niche. Originally I had a longer explanation there, but I figured that it just doesn’t matter to enough readers to warrant that space.
What about the Animorphs? They change species a lot, and it works well.
Here are a few reasons that I think it works pretty well for the Animorphs.
1. There are two strong restrictions on the morphing powers: secrecy and time-limit. So it’s well-established that the characters can’t use it whenever they like, however much they like. These restrictions are easy for readers to understand, which makes them strong and dramatic obstacles for the characters.
2. Additionally, the characters can only morph into animals that they’ve “acquired” by touch. This reduces the potential for characters to pull a solution out of their ass. However, it does give the characters a chance to prepare for a situation by acquiring an appropriate animal. The character’s preparation can be very interesting and can help set up the main plot well.
3. Since morphing is the only special power in the series, it’s easy for the readers and author to keep track of what the characters can do. I don’t think it works as well when it’s part of an ensemble.
4. The books bend over backwards to show that the animal forms affect the personalities and mindsets of the characters, when they are in those bodies. Usually, when a fantasy character can turn into a dragon or something like that, the author doesn’t use any personality change. It makes the transformer more of a Mary Sue. It also makes the transformation feel more like flicking a switch. “I think I’ll be a dragon today!” See my comment about Jake Long above for an example of why Jake Long handled this much better.
5. At the end of the two-hour limit, the character is stuck in his animal body forever. That adds the prospect of danger, especially after the author took the unusual step of actually turning one of the characters into a full-time hawk.
In contrast, here are a few warning signs that suggest a shapeshifting character is not that interesting. For example, I find Beast Boy’s powers a bit dull.
–He can shift into any animal he wants.
–He can use his powers in public, wherever and whenever he wants.
–There is no time limit or any other limit on his powers.
–The change is purely physical; it doesn’t affect his personality or anything like that.
Dory… SpongeBob… Patrick? Do I even want to know?
im writing a novel that has characters with powers in it. one way that i was getting information (that you would get from 3rd person) is because the narator is a girl with telepaty so she can hear the thougts of other people. I tend to only share the specific thoughts she hears that are important to the story or that particular scene/event. Also i was trying to figure out how to describe the look of Jacqueline (my main character) but was having trouble figuring out how… i know what she looks like and everything obviously but without using the mirror thing i couldn’t come up with a good way to even mention how she looks imperticular or as easily as the other characters. (she has long, wavy dirty blode hair, somewhat pale skin, and blue-ish green eyes if that helps).
Also, if there is a scene where characters are eating would it be ok as long as there is an important conversation or issue that comes up in it? For example, think of a cafetiria where there are things going on and conversations going on and it’s not really focused on the food.
Hey, KitKat! I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, so welcome to Superhero Nation.
For the appearance issue: There are plenty of ways aside from looking in the mirror. Looking in the mirror says, ‘This is what they look like.’ Readers don’t care what they look like enough to hold up the action to find out, so you have to insert it in a way that doesn’t hold up the action. Make it a part of something more important. For example, if a character has to go undercover, but they have bright blonde hair, that might stand out. In that case, they’d give a thought to their hair color, in the ‘maybe I should disguise it’ context.
As an example from my own story, one character claims that he knows another character better than she knows herself. Her response is, to prove that his claim is wildly inaccurate, the simple, “What color are my eyes?” This is proving a point first and foremost, but it adds in the little eye color detail as a side note.
And for the eating scene: Yeah, you’re correct there. As long as something is going on aside from eating, you’re fine. This means that no more than one or two sentences should go toward describing the food, and the rest of the scene should be the important actions or conversations going on during the meal.
I’m working on a novel too, but my heroine, Spook, has ghost powers. I made them different than Danny Phantom and gave her several weaknesses, but I really hope no one thinks I’m ripping off of DP:
1) She has to leave her body as a spirit to use the majority of her powers. Since her body is still living, she can only stay out of it for a limited amount of time.
2) Since I don’t want her to be invulnerable, Spook can be hurt in spirit form. She has to will herself to become intangible, so bad guys can hurt her too. Pain from injuries transfers to her physical body, so if she gets wounded enough, it can kill her. If Spook’s body dies, so does she.
3) If she enters a haunted place, angry spirits and entities can harm her more easily than they could if she were in her mortal shell. She can also be exorcised, preventing her from entering a place again. I’m not sure whether she should be able to possess people or not.
4) Spook can draw heat and energy from the environment and people to strengthen herself, but too much can cause lights to flicker or go out. Sapping too much from a person can give them hypothermia or make them hit the floor, limp as a ragdoll.
That’s not everything, but what do you think? I would greatly appreciate the advice of experts. By the way, Superhero Nation is pretty damn funny. Good work.
I think that’s definitely distinct from Danny Phantom, who suffers greatly from getting new powers as the plot demands. DP also doesn’t behave like a conventional ghost, just a person with ghost-like powers, and his ‘ghost zone’ is more like a parallel dimension than an afterlife. I get the impression your ghost is more like a ghost from Supernatural than Danny Phantom.
I also like how she absorbs heat, which is a neat explanation for why it’s cold around ghosts.
Not too keen on the name. ‘Spook’ doesn’t sound very dramatic.
Finally, ‘Near-sighted Jedi’ is pretty funny.
Who’s your target audience? I think Spook could work as a name, but I suspect it might have issues appealing to readers older than (say) 13. If your audience is older than that, I’d recommend something a bit more serious. Or spooky!
If your target audience is younger, then I think Spook is fine.
How many more powers are there? I’d recommend keeping the amount limited… that will help you cut down on how much time you need to explain them. It’ll also help the readers remember them.
Sucking up heat to make herself stronger does not strike me as a very versatile ability. I’d recommend focusing on abilities that can solve a variety of problems… that’s probably particularly important in a novel.
I like that she has limited time out of her body. That should make the action more urgent.
I had a scene in a novel where it was centered around a dinner date. I kept that interesting because that was when his senses started to flare up for the first time, and the protagonist bit knowingly into a raw steak in front of the whole restaurant.
….A raw steak with veins still inside it.
Hi there, great site BTW.
Just wanted to get a take on my POV situation if I may (#3). I’ve finished my book and am in the process of doing what I hope will be the final proofread (it’s already been test read), but it was only today I came across your site.
Strictly speaking, my POV does switch mid-chapter. However, the way I’ve constructed the book is to have twenty-odd chapters, but each chapter is split into, on average, 3 scenes. The POV then changes between scenes, but never mid-scene.
The scenes of a chapter are all related, and so I can’t justify splitting one chapter up into several. Plus, if I did that, I’d probably have over a hundred chapters.
When starting a new scene, the first thing I do is strongly imply which character has the stage (as it were).
My test reader didn’t mention anything about it (and she didn’t hold back with the feedback), but is it something that an agent would instantly reject?
On a related note, I also have 4 POV’s (but each serves a purpose). Have I failed before I’ve begun?
“Strictly speaking, my POV does switch mid-chapter. However, the way I’ve constructed the book is to have twenty-odd chapters, but each chapter is split into, on average, 3 scenes. The POV then changes between scenes, but never mid-scene.” In the three years since I wrote this, I’ve mellowed out on mid-chapter POV switches. I personally find them distracting, but you can limit the disruption and potential for confusion with a line of asterisks and an opening paragraph that makes it clear which character we’ve switched to.
“On a related note, I also have 4 POVs (but each serves a purpose). Have I failed before I’ve begun?” This sounds like it’d be difficult to pull off well*, but I haven’t actually read the manuscript, so I’m not sure how it works in context.
*Some potential issues…
–Having more POVs means spending less time with each one. This will probably make character development more challenging.
–It’s hard enough to make one character interesting. Going with multiple POVs significantly increases the risk that the story will spend a lot of time with a character (or characters) that is not very interesting.
I have two questions about numbers 1 and 2.
First, is it okay to have a character glance at a mirror/reflective surface and notice something that they previously did not know? For example, if Rebecca, my MC, was walking past a mirror and noticed that her eyes had stopped glowing.
Also, is it okay to use an eating scene as long as it isn’t really the food? For example, if I used a ‘lunchroom’ type of setting in which the characters meet up during lunchtime and chat?
I avoid eating/food scenes like the plague. They feel awkward and completely out of place.
I definitely write in a somewhat old-fashioned style, but I rarely have my characters actually *talk* in that way; unless it’s a part of their character already, it comes off as at the least a bit odd. Furthermore, I try to avoid making the language in question seem overly dramatic.
There is a scene in the work that I am writing in which a character stares at their reflection; the implications of it are somewhat different than what you discuss, however…
I don’t generally avoid eating scenes, though I have only used them in two works of mine. In the first the main character is a female in highschool and I use scenes at lunch twice I think but the first time it progresses the story some, and the seconed time she looks down at people messing around at lunch just before she goes into the darkness.
And J.H.M. I would to here about how you’re using the mirror diffrently, I may not be one of the administrators here, but I would like to hear about it.
And how important is describing the main character? As far as I can remember, I don’t seem to describe the main character in detail. Just wanting to know if that’s a bad thing and if I need to fix it.
I’ve personally never been disoriented by viewpoint changes within a chapter. Within a *scene* is generally a no-no, but a chapter? If you’re putting text-breaks/a line of asterisks between your scenes, isn’t that enough to communicate to the reader that we’re switching gears here?
“If you’re putting text-breaks/a line of asterisks between your scenes, isn’t that enough to communicate to the reader that we’re switching gears here?” Yeah, I think that would probably work (please see this comment). I would also recommend an opening paragraph which makes it clear which character is the new point-of-view, particularly if your book has 3+ points of view and/or this is the first time this character is a point of view.
i did running man
is that good your names are worse
Thank you for pointing these out. I have made a few of these.
I have one scene where one of my main characters is waking up, however this scene is actually important to the plot and would be hard to remove. In the scene the character has to go through an involved routine to prepare for his day in order to emphasise how difficult it actually is to live on the moon. The purpose of this is highlight the loneliness of the character who lives in exile as the CEO of one of the last corporations. The scene is not the first scene which is much more dramatic.
A few characters look at themselves in the mirror. I find this difficult to get around since each chapter is told from the point of view of that character, and the main characters don’t meet until later in the book. However, I will revisit these. I can do away with a few of them.
Eating. Crap. What do I do with the eating scenes? Delete them I guess, although I don’t dwell on the fact of the eating in those scenes. I on one occasion I do, when a main character shorts corn flakes through her nose.
Flashbacks – I have quite a few of these but they are important because most of the action occurs in Space with small groups of people. Memories ground the characters and create more interesting dialogues and interactions. I have attempted to fit these into the story by creating a common (although not overt) theme in different sections of the book, and the characters’ different memories and fantasies intersect with this theme from alternative perspectives.
It’s and its. I know this. Spell check even knows it. Why do they keep popping up? Ugh!
Thanks for a very useful article – I am preparing my manuscript to send out and will revisit one more time to weed some of these out.
Question – my manuscript is 140,000 words long. Is it reasonable to assume an editor working for the publisher might help here? I’ve chopped out a lot already and asked readers for help but I find this process difficult.
“In the scene the character has to go through an involved routine to prepare for his day in order to emphasise how difficult it actually is to live on the moon.” It’s plot relevant and extraordinary/distinctive. Much more promising than most of the “random teenager gets ready for school” or “random adult gets ready for work” openings I’ve seen.
“What do I do with the eating scenes?” If they’re not critical to the plot and/or character development, cut them or rewrite them so they are. For example, if the eating scene is a setting for a major conflict between two families, it could be highly relevant. If you’re writing the scene mainly to describe what futuristic food tastes like, I’d recommend reevaluating.
“My manuscript is 140,000 words. Is it reasonable to assume an editor working for the publisher might help here?” Unless the manuscript is extraordinary, probably not. Editors are generally leery of projects which would take a lot of work, and cutting a manuscript from 140,000 words to (say) 80-100,000 for print would be a lot of work.