Comments on: Five More Mistakes of First-Time Novelists (#11-15)

By: Crystal

Crystal — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 00:35:54 +0000

Wow. I was reading over another story that I wrote a while back, and I realized that I had waited until Chapter 7 to reveal that all of the characters had special powers, and that they were at a special school to learn how to control their gifts. Up until then, you just think that they were at a boarding school, doing ordinary stuff.
Actually, this happened in most of the stories that I wrote. If I hadn’t found this site, I might still be writing like that!

By: Giana

Giana — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 01:10:29 +0000

I have to disagree with nº 14. It really annoys me when I spend 10 pages imagining a certain character is blond, and the author suddenly reveals he has black hair. Same goes with eyecolor and other physical attributes you might think are irrelevant. They don’t need to tell it right away, but not mentioning it at all or taking 50 chapters to do so just pisses me off.

By: Wings

Wings — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:20:49 +0000

Although I barely remember reading The Hobbit, they merely pressed the objects onto their flesh. You know, like sticking a penny on your forehead, but more so.

- Wings

By: ShardReaper

ShardReaper — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:43:35 +0000

@Wings: if that were true, how would they manage to get it on them after they morphed it into something wearable?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 02:57:09 +0000

“I read somewhere that because the sole weakness of dragons was the fact that their stomachs bear no armor, so they collected gold and jewels to use as a sort of armor.” I think that the gold-as-armor was mentioned in The Hobbit, although I’m not sure it was a conscious choice for Smaug.

I don’t think gold would add much protection, either. It’s extremely malleable (the most malleable metal), it’s soft, it bends like crazy, etc. I’m not sure about jewels, but it seems sort of counterintuitive to me that jewels would be more protective than hard plates.

By: Wings

Wings — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 02:06:29 +0000

Actually, I read somewhere that because the sole weakness of dragons was the fact that their stomachs bear no armor, so they collected gold and jewels to use as a sort of armor. Or, y’know, maybe they’re like me and like shiny things.

- Wings

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 01:41:39 +0000

“Why do dragons like hording gold?”

in myth and folk narratives, serpents (dragons are serpents) are often depicted as keepers of a treasure. if anyone is interested in sources (I hope I have something in english), I can mail it.

By: esnipplee

esnipplee — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:44:07 +0000

11. named in the first sentence.
12. why would i do that? i havnt.
13. not done before! unless ungreat minds think alike.
14. i described him by lumping on adjectives to when part of him is doing something: is that okay?
15. mine are made up but easy to pronounce, like “haki” and “dakin”

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:00:24 +0000

Quoting Liesl: “You are right but isn’t it okay to describe hair colour to help the reader to picture the character? I know eye colour isn’t exactly important but is it okay to include it anyway?”

I think hair color is less distracting than eye color. Not a huge problem, particularly if it’s been worked in smoothly. However, it’s really hard to work in eye color, particularly at the beginning. Eye color will really zoom in the reader’s mental camera. It usually isn’t appropriate to mention eye color unless the scene needs us to zoom in. For example, maybe we’re in a really intimate scene or two conflicting characters are RIGHT in each other’s faces. When two lovers are gazing longingly at each other, then it makes sense to mention eye color. When someone meets someone else for the first time, it will almost certainly feel weird to mention it.

By: KitKat

KitKat — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:20:36 +0000

I somewhat agree with your input on not putting in eye color or hair unless it’s important to their lifestyle, but I also disagree. It can be important to making your character realistic by mentioning their eye color. If you wanted your character to stand out as much as possible you could make their hair be black with red tips and eyes be a slight violet or a forest green. These details aren’t all that important but it still develops the character and makes the character seem like an actual person. I feel like a lot of books say things like “he is tall with spiky sandy-blonde hair, deep hazel eyes, and tan skin.” That gives a lot of detail, which is good, but I feel like that could describe a lot of people. I feel that the characters that are important or even have powers and that sort of thing should have unique features.

I definitely agree with #13. If you think about Twilight, there are vampires but they are different than the traditional vampire most people know. These vampires did have pale, cold skin and drank blood but that was pretty much where the similarities stopped. Sun didn’t hurt them but it would give away who they are (their skin sparkled in the sun). If you use elves or fairies or mermaids or whatever it is, try to make it original. You might have a few similar characteristics, but make it your own.

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:53:45 +0000

Addressing David.

“Another plot I have is Lady Evil Hand returns (I sent you the second story a while back, dunno if you remember). Anyways, she unleashes a deadly virus that quickly sweeps across the city and she demands a huge sum of money for the cure. Due to there genetic makeup, only Silence and D are immune to it. Chain and Solar come down sick.”

I think this plot is a bit overwrought and banal. I think something fresher would be much more interesting. Maybe Lady Evil Hand (I thought you changed her name) gets infected herself and needs something special (that only the city can offer) for the cure. That’s not much better, but it’s just a suggestion. I also think that the motive of getting money is pretty dry and two-dimensional for villains.

“I think this would be great for character development for both D and Silence. Silence can really develop her fighting style and such.”

If this would be the second story arc they’re in I would that the characters are already fully developed. I can see her developing her fighting style, but personality-wise you should be done developing her by this point.

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:42:24 +0000

Addressing #14: I think there’s a trick you can use instead of just blatant saying the hair color. They giving a detail about the hair that suggests something about the character’s personality or lifestyle and fitting the color subtlely into that. For example, “James threw the same shirt he had on yesterday and didn’t bother to comb his shaggy, dark brown hair.” I got the color across, but more important I told you something about the character, he’s a bit of a slob.

Addressing #15: Oh, you didn’t have to take it so literally. You can used exotic names, but make sure they’re not overly exotic and just plain weird. I liked B. Mac’s advice to combine common names to make exotic names, that’s how I name one of my characters. Alternatively, if the name isn’t too over the top I think it’s okay to use. Go for it!

By: Liesl

Liesl — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:32:46 +0000

#14 You are right but isn’t it okay to describe hair colour to help the reader to picture the character? I know eye colour isn’t exactly important but is it okay to include it anyway?

#15 What is your opinion on using made up names, even ones that are probably easy to pronounce? Is it generally better to use real names? Are there advantages to making up names?

Thank you so much for your articles they’re helpful and interesting!

By: David

David — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:26:20 +0000

Well, I also tried a story with a haunted hotel. The team and others were killed one by one by different means, but I couldn’t think of a full plot. Any ideas?

Another plot I have is Lady Evil Hand returns (I sent you the second story a while back, dunno if you remember). Anyways, she unleashes a deadly virus that quickly sweeps across the city and she demands a huge sum of money for the cure. Due to there genetic makeup, only Silence and D are immune to it. Chain and Solar come down sick.

I think this would be great for character development for both D and Silence. Silence can really develop her fighting style and such.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 04:16:08 +0000

I think that your banshees would fit in smoothly in a story like Hellboy or maybe something like Zantanna, but I don't think that they'd fit in your story as well. Your characters are more technological than magical, for one. The story may feel "weird" because it starts with a mostly sci-fi premise and shifts to elements that are fantasy (like banshees).
Also, some of the details about banshees might be a bit too insignificant to tell readers about. For example, the differences between male and female banshees. Why does it matter how old they live or how long it takes them to mature? Why does the color of their hair matter? I don't think those details will interest readers enough to bother with.