Comments on: 5 Common Mistakes for First-Time Novelists

By: J.H.M.

J.H.M. — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:52:01 +0000

I definitely write in a somewhat old-fashioned style, but I rarely have my characters actually *talk* in that way; unless it’s a part of their character already, it comes off as at the least a bit odd. Furthermore, I try to avoid making the language in question seem overly dramatic.

There is a scene in the work that I am writing in which a character stares at their reflection; the implications of it are somewhat different than what you discuss, however…

By: Grenac

Grenac — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:08:16 +0000

I avoid eating/food scenes like the plague. They feel awkward and completely out of place.

By: Crystal

Crystal — Mon, 02 May 2011 23:17:36 +0000

I have two questions about numbers 1 and 2.

First, is it okay to have a character glance at a mirror/reflective surface and notice something that they previously did not know? For example, if Rebecca, my MC, was walking past a mirror and noticed that her eyes had stopped glowing.
Also, is it okay to use an eating scene as long as it isn’t really the food? For example, if I used a ‘lunchroom’ type of setting in which the characters meet up during lunchtime and chat?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 12:08:11 +0000

“Strictly speaking, my POV does switch mid-chapter. However, the way I’ve constructed the book is to have twenty-odd chapters, but each chapter is split into, on average, 3 scenes. The POV then changes between scenes, but never mid-scene.” In the three years since I wrote this, I’ve mellowed out on mid-chapter POV switches. I personally find them distracting, but you can limit the disruption and potential for confusion with a line of asterisks and an opening paragraph that makes it clear which character we’ve switched to.

“On a related note, I also have 4 POVs (but each serves a purpose). Have I failed before I’ve begun?” This sounds like it’d be difficult to pull off well*, but I haven’t actually read the manuscript, so I’m not sure how it works in context.

*Some potential issues…
–Having more POVs means spending less time with each one. This will probably make character development more challenging.
–It’s hard enough to make one character interesting. Going with multiple POVs significantly increases the risk that the story will spend a lot of time with a character (or characters) that is not very interesting.

By: Mark

Mark — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 09:56:09 +0000

Hi there, great site BTW.
Just wanted to get a take on my POV situation if I may (#3). I’ve finished my book and am in the process of doing what I hope will be the final proofread (it’s already been test read), but it was only today I came across your site.
Strictly speaking, my POV does switch mid-chapter. However, the way I’ve constructed the book is to have twenty-odd chapters, but each chapter is split into, on average, 3 scenes. The POV then changes between scenes, but never mid-scene.
The scenes of a chapter are all related, and so I can’t justify splitting one chapter up into several. Plus, if I did that, I’d probably have over a hundred chapters.
When starting a new scene, the first thing I do is strongly imply which character has the stage (as it were).
My test reader didn’t mention anything about it (and she didn’t hold back with the feedback), but is it something that an agent would instantly reject?
On a related note, I also have 4 POV’s (but each serves a purpose). Have I failed before I’ve begun?

By: Castille

Castille — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 00:38:27 +0000

I had a scene in a novel where it was centered around a dinner date. I kept that interesting because that was when his senses started to flare up for the first time, and the protagonist bit knowingly into a raw steak in front of the whole restaurant.

….A raw steak with veins still inside it.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:09:32 +0000

Who’s your target audience? I think Spook could work as a name, but I suspect it might have issues appealing to readers older than (say) 13. If your audience is older than that, I’d recommend something a bit more serious. Or spooky! If your target audience is younger, then I think Spook is fine.

How many more powers are there? I’d recommend keeping the amount limited… that will help you cut down on how much time you need to explain them. It’ll also help the readers remember them.

Sucking up heat to make herself stronger does not strike me as a very versatile ability. I’d recommend focusing on abilities that can solve a variety of problems… that’s probably particularly important in a novel.

I like that she has limited time out of her body. That should make the action more urgent.

By: Tom

Tom — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:42:04 +0000

I think that’s definitely distinct from Danny Phantom, who suffers greatly from getting new powers as the plot demands. DP also doesn’t behave like a conventional ghost, just a person with ghost-like powers, and his ‘ghost zone’ is more like a parallel dimension than an afterlife. I get the impression your ghost is more like a ghost from Supernatural than Danny Phantom.

I also like how she absorbs heat, which is a neat explanation for why it’s cold around ghosts.

Not too keen on the name. ‘Spook’ doesn’t sound very dramatic.

Finally, ‘Near-sighted Jedi’ is pretty funny.

By: Near-sighted Jedi

Near-sighted Jedi — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:26:56 +0000

I’m working on a novel too, but my heroine, Spook, has ghost powers. I made them different than Danny Phantom and gave her several weaknesses, but I really hope no one thinks I’m ripping off of DP:

1) She has to leave her body as a spirit to use the majority of her powers. Since her body is still living, she can only stay out of it for a limited amount of time.

2) Since I don’t want her to be invulnerable, Spook can be hurt in spirit form. She has to will herself to become intangible, so bad guys can hurt her too. Pain from injuries transfers to her physical body, so if she gets wounded enough, it can kill her. If Spook’s body dies, so does she.

3) If she enters a haunted place, angry spirits and entities can harm her more easily than they could if she were in her mortal shell. She can also be exorcised, preventing her from entering a place again. I’m not sure whether she should be able to possess people or not.

4) Spook can draw heat and energy from the environment and people to strengthen herself, but too much can cause lights to flicker or go out. Sapping too much from a person can give them hypothermia or make them hit the floor, limp as a ragdoll.

That’s not everything, but what do you think? I would greatly appreciate the advice of experts. By the way, Superhero Nation is pretty damn funny. Good work.

By: Marissa

Marissa — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:08:06 +0000

Hey, KitKat! I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, so welcome to Superhero Nation.

For the appearance issue: There are plenty of ways aside from looking in the mirror. Looking in the mirror says, ‘This is what they look like.’ Readers don’t care what they look like enough to hold up the action to find out, so you have to insert it in a way that doesn’t hold up the action. Make it a part of something more important. For example, if a character has to go undercover, but they have bright blonde hair, that might stand out. In that case, they’d give a thought to their hair color, in the ‘maybe I should disguise it’ context.

As an example from my own story, one character claims that he knows another character better than she knows herself. Her response is, to prove that his claim is wildly inaccurate, the simple, “What color are my eyes?” This is proving a point first and foremost, but it adds in the little eye color detail as a side note.

And for the eating scene: Yeah, you’re correct there. As long as something is going on aside from eating, you’re fine. This means that no more than one or two sentences should go toward describing the food, and the rest of the scene should be the important actions or conversations going on during the meal.

By: KitKat

KitKat — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 21:47:21 +0000

im writing a novel that has characters with powers in it. one way that i was getting information (that you would get from 3rd person) is because the narator is a girl with telepaty so she can hear the thougts of other people. I tend to only share the specific thoughts she hears that are important to the story or that particular scene/event. Also i was trying to figure out how to describe the look of Jacqueline (my main character) but was having trouble figuring out how… i know what she looks like and everything obviously but without using the mirror thing i couldn’t come up with a good way to even mention how she looks imperticular or as easily as the other characters. (she has long, wavy dirty blode hair, somewhat pale skin, and blue-ish green eyes if that helps).

Also, if there is a scene where characters are eating would it be ok as long as there is an important conversation or issue that comes up in it? For example, think of a cafetiria where there are things going on and conversations going on and it’s not really focused on the food.

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:40:06 +0000

Dory… SpongeBob… Patrick? Do I even want to know?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:36:43 +0000

Here are a few reasons that I think it works pretty well for the Animorphs.

1. There are two strong restrictions on the morphing powers: secrecy and time-limit. So it’s well-established that the characters can’t use it whenever they like, however much they like. These restrictions are easy for readers to understand, which makes them strong and dramatic obstacles for the characters.

2. Additionally, the characters can only morph into animals that they’ve “acquired” by touch. This reduces the potential for characters to pull a solution out of their ass. However, it does give the characters a chance to prepare for a situation by acquiring an appropriate animal. The character’s preparation can be very interesting and can help set up the main plot well.

3. Since morphing is the only special power in the series, it’s easy for the readers and author to keep track of what the characters can do. I don’t think it works as well when it’s part of an ensemble.

4. The books bend over backwards to show that the animal forms affect the personalities and mindsets of the characters, when they are in those bodies. Usually, when a fantasy character can turn into a dragon or something like that, the author doesn’t use any personality change. It makes the transformer more of a Mary Sue. It also makes the transformation feel more like flicking a switch. “I think I’ll be a dragon today!” See my comment about Jake Long above for an example of why Jake Long handled this much better.

5. At the end of the two-hour limit, the character is stuck in his animal body forever. That adds the prospect of danger, especially after the author took the unusual step of actually turning one of the characters into a full-time hawk.

In contrast, here are a few warning signs that suggest a shapeshifting character is not that interesting. For example, I find Beast Boy’s powers a bit dull.
–He can shift into any animal he wants.
–He can use his powers in public, wherever and whenever he wants.
–There is no time limit or any other limit on his powers.
–The change is purely physical; it doesn’t affect his personality or anything like that.

By: ikarus619x

ikarus619x — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:00:32 +0000

What about the Animorphs? They change species a lot, and it works well.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:26:44 +0000

I think your approach to #1 is pretty good. I appreciate that your sentence does more than tell us that the character’s eyes are brown.

You approach to #2 sounds workable as well.

I’m slightly concerned about the concept of mixing first-person narration and third-person narration in a single novel. There’s probably a good reason from your perspective (something like making sure that the reader gets relevant information that the main character doesn’t have access to, I bet), but I’m not sure if the readers will get the change. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book try it before.

Oh God, no, is just what I thought for #4…

#5 is kind of niche. Originally I had a longer explanation there, but I figured that it just doesn’t matter to enough readers to warrant that space.