May 30 2008

The Office of Special Investigations Does Clue!

Mike challenges Agent Black and Agent Orange to a game of Clue. Question: if the victim was killed by a noose, was it murder or assisted suicide?

Mike: Hello Black, Orange. The Office of Special Investigations got itself a board game franchise: OSI Clue.

He hands the box to Agent Black.

Agent Black, reading: “The OSI’s Director has been found dead, apparently murdered by one of his six lieutenants.”

Agent Orange: To no one’s surprise.

Agent Black, reading: “Play one of the six suspects and prove who killed Marty Stull, in what room, and with what weapon.”

Mike: Would you like to play?

Agent Orange: Frankly, this “investigation” is seedier than an overripe watermelon. Having the suspects investigate the crime does not seem very professional.

Agent Black: What he’s saying is that he knows he won’t win.

Agent Orange:

Agent Orange: Foolish mammals! You never had a chance.

Five minutes later

Agent Black: I’ll say it was Captain Carnage, with a pipe, in the cafeteria.

Agent Orange: Fiendish mammal! I know very well that you have Captain Carnage in your hand.

Agent Black: Uhh… asking about cards that you have is a good strategy–

Agent Orange: –if you’re trying to conceal your own guilt! I think it was you, Agent Black, with your knife, in the training room.

Agent Black: I can disprove that.

Agent Orange: You would say that!

Agent Black hands Orange a card.

Agent Orange: Perhaps your alibi holds up… for now!

Ten minutes later

Mike: I’m ready to solve. The crime was committed in the auditorium, with a noose—

Agent Black: That’d be one hell of a murder.

Agent Orange: A public execution!

Mike: –by Agent Orange!

Agent Orange: That’s absurd. Why would I use a noose when I have teeth like these?

Mike reaches into the confidential envelope.

Mike: What the hell? There are nine cards in here and there’s only supposed to be three. Orange, what happened to your six cards?

Agent Orange: I’m not talking until my lawyer gets here.

2 responses so far

2 Responses to “The Office of Special Investigations Does Clue!”

  1. Wingson 18 May 2009 at 2:07 pm

    Must…Show…This…To…P…

    – Wings

  2. Gurion Omegaon 18 May 2009 at 3:38 pm

    “Agent Orange: I’m not talking until my lawyer gets here…”

    Hahahahaha… genius!

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