Jan 06 2011

I’ve never read a crime novel this convoluted

Published by at 11:51 pm under Detective/Crime Stories

I swear I’m not making this up.

  • A pizza deliveryman robs a bank with a bomb attached to his neck and a gun concealed in his cane.
  • The police catch up with him.  He claims that a bunch of black men accosted him and forced him into the bomb-collar.
  • The collar detonates, killing the pizza deliveryman.  (Body count: 1)
  • The police find a letter addressed to the “Bomb Hostage” in his car, directing him on a scavenger hunt so that he could give the bomber the money and get the collar off.

  • The police try completing the scavenger hunt themselves but find that the perpetrator has cut the trail off.
  • The pizza guy’s last delivery was to a TV tower. The nearest neighbor to the TV tower was a handyman that called the police a month later and confessed that he had another body, in his freezer.  (Body count: 2)
  • The dead man was the boyfriend of the handyman’s psycho ex-girlfriend, who had killed him over money.  The psycho ex-girlfriend had also been suspected of killing several of her previous lovers.  (Body count: 4)
  • The handyman dies of cancer and the psycho ex-girlfriend pleads guilty-but-mentally-ill to murdering her boyfriend.
  • The psycho ex-girlfriend offers to tell the police everything she knows about the pizza deliveryman in exchange for a transfer to a nicer prison.
  • The psycho ex-girlfriend implicates the pizza man as a co-conspirator of the robbery.
  • An informant names a third co-conspirator, a crack dealing TV repairman.  He says the psycho girlfriend masterminded the robbery so that she could come up with money to pay the TV repairman/crack dealer to kill another man, the girlfriend’s father.  (Body count: 4 and a prospect)
  • According to the indictment, the pizza man had initially been a willing participant, but was later double-crossed.  They had been planning on attaching a fake bomb to his neck but later switched to a live device that had no removal mechanism.  (The scavenger hunt was just a hoax; the pizza man was meant to die).
  • Okay, that’s the first half of the case.  See the rest here.

13 responses so far

13 Responses to “I’ve never read a crime novel this convoluted”

  1. NicKennyon 27 Jan 2011 at 12:27 pm

    I’ve read that about four times and I still don’t understand it all. Too complicated. I give up.

  2. Castilleon 27 Jan 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Yet there always seem to be weirder cases out there…

  3. Beccaon 27 Jan 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Really could not even make that up.

  4. B. Macon 27 Jan 2011 at 7:36 pm

    The only way this could be more convoluted is if there were a chicken smuggling ring.

  5. Torion 27 Jan 2011 at 8:45 pm

    WOW! I couldn’t follow that . . . lol! Still, in a terrible way, this is very interesting. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. Anonymouson 28 Jan 2011 at 11:02 am

    B.Mac. or a one-eyed and creepy sailor, a group of dissatisfied marines, a murderous parrot and Lemony Snicket. And confusing acronyms….

  7. NicKennyon 28 Jan 2011 at 11:46 am

    Sorry, that was me.

  8. Kirbyon 29 Jan 2011 at 4:50 pm

    I’m sure this guy thinks it’s hilarious:

  9. Ashleyon 03 Feb 2011 at 3:15 pm

    This… reminds me of a cross between CSI: New York and Criminal Minds. Gone awry. Just… wow.

  10. Goaton 03 Feb 2011 at 4:50 pm


    It made me think of this…

  11. B. Macon 03 Feb 2011 at 10:43 pm

    But how do you know that Zac Efron wasn’t part of the robbery plot?

  12. Crystalon 20 Apr 2011 at 4:09 pm

    I think that I read about this in a magazine. It’s really crazy!

  13. Mynaon 21 Apr 2011 at 7:06 am

    Yeah, I read up about that awhile ago, it’s pretty insane! o-o And with this psycho ex-girlfriend chick… well if you’re dating a girl and two of her boyfriends have DIED under suspicious circumstances before, do not be the third. -.-

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