Oct 24 2010

Writing exercise: Selling to an unreceptive buyer

Published by at 7:02 pm under Writing Exercises

Try writing a scene with a character trying to sell something to a buyer that doesn’t actually need the product.  For example, how would you convince the Swiss government it really needs the latest in doomsday technology?  (Sell it as a high-energy particle physics lab, of course).

3 responses so far

3 Responses to “Writing exercise: Selling to an unreceptive buyer”

  1. Lighting Manon 27 Oct 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Salesman: “Nice sale on pudding, today. Today only. Do you like chocolate pudding?””

    Woman: “Yes.”

    Salesman: “Did you know that chocolate pudding reacts to metal spoons and changes it’s flavor? The only solution is to use a spoon carved from the tail bones of Congolese orphans. Very pricey.”

    Salesman: “Or a plastic spoon.”

    Salesman: “Has anyone ever told you that you have such pretty blonde hair?”

    Woman: “That’s very sweet.”

    Salesman: “By coincidence, I have a plastic spoon. I could sell it to you.”

    Woman: “No, I don’t use spoons.”

    Salesman: “You have such nice hair, why do you dye your roots black?”

    Salesman: “I’ve never seen such a good price on pudding, it would be terrible to tarnish it with inappropriate utensils.”

    Woman: “If you must know, I suffer from bulimia, I can’t stand the sight of spoons! They make me sick instantly.”

    Salesman: “Ah, I understand, you got help for the sake of the baby.”

    Woman: “I…I’m not pregnant.”

    Salesman: “Are you sure? You’re positively glowing!”

    Salesman: “Well, by the look of you, I know you like good foods, a lot of them.”

    Salesman: “This spoon is perfect for eating good foods.”

    Woman: “I am going to get the manager if you don’t go!”

    Salesman: “I understand completely, ma’am. Your husband has excellent taste in substantial women.”

    Woman: “Humph, I’m not married.”

    Salesman: “Well, I don’t understand why! I literally cannot look past you.”

    Woman: “Manager!”

    Salesman: “Forget I said anything.”

    Salesman: “…Chunky.”

    Woman: “How much for the spoon?”

    Little longer than intended. 😛

  2. B. Macon 27 Oct 2010 at 11:19 pm

    Haha, I liked that.

    From what I’ve learned of copywriting, insulting the customer generally does not work… except for beer companies.

  3. ekimmakon 28 Oct 2010 at 8:15 pm

    For some reason, this made me think of an old batman cartoon episode, where the Joker poisoned the fish in Gotham so had his smile, and then tried to trademark his grin.

    He’d be just the person to pull this off.
    “Would you like to buy this junk?”
    “No? Then would you like to see me make this pencil disappear?”

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