Mar 16 2009

Congress, the Comedic Gift that Keeps on Giving

Published by at 9:01 pm under I'm not making this up

This paragraph appeared in a Washington Post article about a miserably incompetent bank giving hundreds of millions of dollars in bonuses: “The rhetoric grew so heated yesterday that Sen. Charles E. Grassley suggested in a radio interview that AIG executives ought to ‘follow the Japanese model… resign, or go commit suicide.’ An aide later explained he does not actually want executives to kill themselves.” Good to know!

21 responses so far

21 Responses to “Congress, the Comedic Gift that Keeps on Giving”

  1. Dforceon 17 Mar 2009 at 3:08 pm

    The Sen. doesn’t want executives to kill themselves? I do… Some of the stuff they try to pull just boggles me. Do they really need all those bonuses, jets, cars, and assistants? How many clones do they have that they need to move them at the drop of a hat??

    I’d let it go if they were at least trying to actively make life better or easier for the world- but no… it’s all just left to sit or wasted on some house or boat… Ergh!

    You’d hope at least one of them would get savvy and blow some of that unglodly ammount of money on building themselves a Batcave… But no. No no. A second and third regular mansion will do. Batmobiles? Nah. A few fleets of generic pricy luxury cars is enough. Ergh!

    Hmm… Upon retrospection, I realize my rant may rise out of jealousy, but I can assure you that if I had that money I’d buy one house, one decent car, save me a nest egg, and spend some of it on worthwhile endeavors– like Superheronation, or the like. (No brown-nosing intended).

  2. Holliequon 17 Mar 2009 at 3:22 pm

    No offence to SHN, but there are about a thousand charities that would come higher up on the ‘to donate’ list if I suddenly came into that much money. o.O

    But yeah, politicians and bankers boggle the mind.

  3. B. Macon 17 Mar 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Ehh. We’re definitely not as life-or-death important as something like Habitat for Humanity or United Way. But as far as educational endowments go, you could certainly do worse than endowing a website like this one.

  4. Lunajamniaon 17 Mar 2009 at 4:20 pm


    Well, you are on my list if I come up with a large sum of money.
    The List (in no particular order):

    -parents (mortgage, extra for whatever)

    -public school (stuff, mostly pay teachers more though, the teachers at my school were beyond amazing though I can’t say that of all the students)

    -public library (more books, funding so the roof doesn’t leak, pay librarians more)
    -town (new sidewalks and stuff)

    -my college (new computers, new TVs, new buildings, better … everything cause we need it)

    -Africa (food, shelters, AIDS education/help)

    -SN (you! ^_^)

    -10% to church for whatever they use the 10% for

    -a friend who told me when I am rich and famous and have published many novels and she is living in a cardboard box, I must buy her a nice house and a car.

    -whatever other places and people I have forgotten for the moment

  5. Lunajamniaon 17 Mar 2009 at 4:21 pm


    -adopt a kid

  6. B. Macon 17 Mar 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Forget the kids! Adopt a writer. 😉

  7. Ragged Boyon 17 Mar 2009 at 5:23 pm


    If I ever become a famous Hollywood actor, I’d like to adopt some kids from third-world countries. To balance such positivity, I’d be shallow and would pick kids entirely based on appearance.

  8. Ragged Boyon 17 Mar 2009 at 6:52 pm

    Thank you for deleting that last part. Boy, I’m a jerk.

  9. Wingson 19 Mar 2009 at 9:42 am

    You know, if writers and teachers were paid as much as movie stars and sports heroes, the world would be much smarter (and we (us!) all be much richer).

    I could afford a good laptop and new writing software…..

    I could move to Ireland like I always dreamed…

    I’d hunt you guys down and visit you….

    The only way I can think of to get this money now is actually from How to Save the World, my book… I’d love it to become a movie if I can but I’ll settle for bestselling novel. Of course, I’d write the screenplay so that no one can KILL my precious book….

    – Wings the Dreamer

  10. Dr Eagle Gon 19 Mar 2009 at 10:27 am

    Ireland huh Wings? I live in England, and Ireland is a short hop, hunt me down and you can kill two birds with one laser…

  11. Holliequon 19 Mar 2009 at 12:14 pm

    And me! That makes three birds!

  12. Ragged Boyon 19 Mar 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Most school systems are funded by taxes, including teacher salaries. While movie stars, get money from the income earned in their movies. The only way to get teachers more money is to up the taxes, or have a group of billionaires donate to the federal education institution, but then no one would get richer because of the raised taxes.

  13. Ragged Boyon 19 Mar 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Before you leave America, stop by Florida and hit me up.

  14. Holliequon 19 Mar 2009 at 12:25 pm

    You know, I think the government would actually be on my list if I had lots of money. They’d probably be below the charities and my own family, though.

  15. Tomon 19 Mar 2009 at 1:20 pm

    It’s pretty scary how many British people are on this site.

  16. Holliequon 19 Mar 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Hey, how did you two hear about it? A random google search? (NaNoWriMo, myself).

  17. Tomon 19 Mar 2009 at 1:43 pm

    How else? 😛

  18. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 24 Mar 2009 at 1:57 am

    “Of course, I’d write the screenplay so that no one can KILL my precious book”

    It’s the same with me. If my book were to become a movie, I would insist on writing the screenplay and keep as much in as possible. I’d also like it to be an anime. I’ve become a little obsessed with that lately. 😛

  19. B. Macon 24 Mar 2009 at 2:25 am

    We get many high-quality referrals out of NNWM. NNWM participants tend to read many articles and are more likely to leave comments than readers that come to us through search queries. The average NNWM participant that comes here spends 11 minutes, which is nearly four times as much as average. Additionally, only 32% of NNWM participants bounce from our website. The average first-time visitor is about 55-60% likely to bounce. (A bounce is when someone leaves nearly instantly).

  20. The ReTARDISed Whovianon 24 Mar 2009 at 2:28 am

    I came here through a random Google search, and I’m glad I did! 🙂

  21. Lunajamniaon 24 Mar 2009 at 4:52 am

    Random Google search as well. Or perhaps Yahoo, since even though they’re now slower on my computer, I am still loyal to them. Somewhat.

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