• What’s the genre? (Action, comedy, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, romance, horror, etc).
• What’s the subgenre? (Are we talking about an action with… Superheroes? Military/espionage? A natural disaster?  Adventurers? Vampires/supernatural creatures? Mythological figures? etc).
• What’s the inciting event?  (What event throws the main character out of his status quo/comfort zone?)
• What’s the main character like?  (Anything that makes him more interesting to prospective readers or suggests his role–CAUTION: naming him does not necessarily accomplish either)
• What’s the main antagonist like? (Same as for the protagonist)
• What’s the setting like? (Time and/or place)
• What’s the central goal of the main character and/or what’s at stake if he loses?
• What’s the author’s style like?
• Is there an interesting contrast between elements of the title?

If the title doesn’t nail at least three of these, I’d recommend rewriting it and/or starting over.  Here are some examples that I enjoyed.

Captain Freedom: A Superhero’s Quest for Truth, Justice, and the Celebrity He So Richly Deserves

• Main character: a highly self-entitled, egomaniacal superhero, maybe a parody of Superman
• Goal: celebrity and recognition
• Contrast: The idealistic, lofty name “Captain Freedom” vs. his preposterously petty goal.
• Author style: I’d totally pick this up, assuming I could survive the cover.

Saddam Hussein and the Hippies from Space

• Main character and antagonist: Either Saddam Hussein and the space hippies or vice versa
• Genre: science fiction/comedy
• Author’s style: Wow.  I love the contrast, too.

Autobiographies from Death Row

• Genre and subgenre: autobiography -> true crime
• Main character & setting: Readers can infer most of the stories feature violent felons in prison and/or crime-ridden areas
• Interesting contrast: Death Row inmates as authors.  Also, Death Row inmates writing in a genre that emphasizes introspection. 

Soon I Will Be Invincible

• Genre/subgenre: comedy -> superhero
• Main protagonist: a struggling supervillain seeking power
• Author’s style: I liked this character voice.
• Contrast: It sounds like the character wants vastly more for himself than he actually has or will ever achieve.

The Taxman Must Die (the comic book I’m writing)

• Genre: action/comedy
• Main character: a tax-collector running for his life
• Author’s style: I hope that readers can tell it’s got a wacky style.
• Contrast: Taxmen are about as unsuited for violence and assassination attempts as it gets.

2. If your title does not appeal to prospective readers, start over! Some words that rarely mean much to prospective readers include fictional character and place names.  Alternately, some authors use puns.  If the reader immediately makes prospective readers smile, fine. If readers will only understand the pun after reading the work, they won’t ever find out how witty the pun is… because they won’t open the book.

3. Words unfamiliar to prospective readers are not typically effective. “But The Legend of Bjornistan will really draw readers!” Unless the audience is Bjornistani, it definitely won’t.

4. Avoid words that tell a prospective reader something he already knows. In particular, words like “story” (book, tale, legend, chronicle, ballad, myth, fable and the like) are spectacularly ineffective. Your readers can see it’s a book, so telling them it’s a story is probably an insult to their intelligence. Two exceptions: comedic effect or conveying information that might not be otherwise obvious. For example, a word like “autobiography” or “memoir” may tell us something we didn’t know before.

5. I think it’s generally effective to name chapters. If your chapters aren’t titled, your table of contents will look this bland:

–Chapter One: 1

–Chapter Two: 25

Readers will see this page before the story, and it’s more boring than professional blackjack. In contrast, a list of chapters with interesting titles may show off your style and entice readers to keep going.

1. Don’t Vote! (It Only Encourages Them): 1

2. The Empire State Strikes Back: 25

3. A Hurricane of Coconuts: 47

Are you wondering what I can do with a chapter called “A Hurricane of Coconuts”? Then you’ll probably make it to chapter 3.

Did this article help? Submit us to Stumble!

So now I’m just trying to come up with a placeholder title for a wacky office comedy about an accountant-turned-secret agent and his mutant alligator partner.  At this late hour, these seemed remotely acceptable. What do you think?

• THE TAXMAN MUST DIE

[alternate word: accountant]

• GARY MUST DIE

(Normally, I think “Gary” is far too bland a name to be used in a title, but I like the contrast between the normal name and the extraordinary phrase).

• CLOSE ENOUGH FOR GOVERNMENT WORK
• SANITY A PLUS, MARKSMANSHIP ESSENTIAL
• DEATH COMES FOR THE TAXMAN
• DEATH AND TAXES
• DEATH AND TAXES (BUT NOT IN THAT ORDER)

If you’d like to suggest something else, I’d love to hear it.

This article was the tenth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9
• Part 10

The Appeal
The Pagan Stone
T is for Trespass
The Sixth Target
A Prisoner of Birth
Dead Until Dark
Double Cross
The Darkest Evening of the Year
Duma Key
Dead After Dark
The Venetian Betrayal
The Manning Grooms
The 47th Samurai
Club Dead
Love by Design
Zen and the Art of Vampires
Dead to the World
The Chase
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon
Dead as a Doornail
Small Town Christmas
The Hollow
Santa Fe Dead
All Together Dead
The Outlaw Demon Wails
The Road
When the Duke Returns
Blood Dreams
Book of the Dead
The Arctic Event
Blue Heaven
Kill Zone
Foul Play
A Stone Creek Christmas

Observations
One-word titles are very rare among the bestsellers. Excluding the word “the,” only four titles had just one word (The Appeal, The Chase, The Hollow and The Road).

None of the titles used a character name.

None of the titles used any fictional words.

Many of the titles relied on the element of danger. (Kill Zone, Foul Play, the eight titles with the word “dead,” etc).

Very few of these titles are head-scratchers.

Cadet Davis reviews and revises the titles of 30 manuscripts submitted to a writing workshop. This will help you evaluate and improve your titles.

Above Average

1. Terrorist Dance Party.  The word terrorist is excellent here; it’s interesting and foreshadows the story’s substance.  As for a terrorist dance party, I think that has a lot of style.  I’m intrigued.

Acceptable

1. And Other Assorted Duties as Needed.  This evokes a jobs listing in a newspaper pretty well, but it’s not specific enough.  What’s the genre here?  The ad might be hiring something mundane (like a babysitter or gofer), or it might be something more outlandish like a wizard’s assistant or a superhero’s sidekick.  This title also lacks style, another problem that could be solved with an interesting detail.  For example, “And Other Dragon-Killing Duties As Needed” (fantasy) or “And Other World-Saving Duties as Needed” (superhero).  I’d also recommend taking out the word “assorted” because it’s mostly redundant with “other.”
2. Falsely Accused.  This adequately identifies the plot, but lacks style and it’s already been used before.  I’d recommend adding a detail to distinguish this story of an innocent man on the run from similar stories.
3. Fortune’s Favor.  This is mediocre.  What’s the genre?  Who’s the beneficiary of fortune and what will he do with it?  Also, this title makes the main character seem pretty boring by emphasizing his luck.  It may help to change the word “fortune” from a noun into an adjective, which would emphasize the main character more.  For example, a superhero story might use “The Lucky Sidekick” and a fantasy might try “The Fortunate Barbarian.”   Some other interesting nouns that crossed my mind: accountant, taxman, cripple, and vagrant, as well as a few recurring genre-specific favorites like demon, ninja, dragon and knight.
4. Guardian Angel.  This is totally devoid of style, but it mostly works because I know what the story’s about and who would enjoy it.  I’d really recommend adding a detail to modify the guardian angel and differentiate this story.  For example, maybe “The Unwilling Angel.”
5. Unrequited.  Surprisingly, this one-word title is acceptable because it seems pretty clearly to be a story of tragic, unrequited love.  That’s a good start.  But I’m virtually positive that a noun would improve this title.  In fact, pretty much any noun besides something over-obvious like love or feelings would help.  For example, “Unrequited Scorn”?  I think that has more style.

1. Among the Shattered and Debris.  Yeah, this title was awful two weeks ago, too.  There’s still incongruity between shattered (a plural noun) and debris (singular).  What’s the sell here?  What’s the book about?  Why should we want to read it?  Are the main characters shattered?  If so, in what way?  This title could be workable, but it probably needs to get less artsy and more literal.
2. Triage.  The lack of a setting here is worrisome.  Is this a story about a futuristic society struggling to deal with a sci-fi plague, or a modern hospital dealing with some serious natural catastrophe, historical fiction, or something else?  I do like the word “triage,” though.  It strongly suggests the story’s subject (how do we deal with this disaster?) and its main character (a doctor or medical professional).  Adding another word would probably add style.  For example, a superhero story like X-Men might try something like “Mutant Triage.”
3. For Eve.  I have no idea who Eve is, what she receives, or why I should care about either.  This title feels like it hasn’t been written for prospective readers.  I’d recommend starting over on this one.
4. God’s porch [sic].  This title’s miscapitalization would get the manuscript instantly rejected, so it’s definitely awful.  That said, I think “God’s Porch” is an almost acceptable head-scratcher.  I think the title is trying to convey that the God of this story is a down-home ruminator.  I’d recommend adding a detail to clarify that.
5. Frankie’s Joynt.  The spelling mistake here is so flamboyant that it must be intentional, but I have no idea what it’s trying to accomplish.  This title makes my head hurt.  Next!
6. Twitch.  What’s the sell here?  Is this a character name or a reference to a twitching eye or maybe a horse-restraining device?  I have no idea what’s going on.  If this is about a character named Twitch, this title fails totally compared to something more stylish like “Barbara Bloodbath” or “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”  What kind of book is this?
7. There Are No Children On the Playground At Night.  First, this felt needlessly long.  Second, the word “night” generally ruins titles, and it’s highly ineffective here.  If this title is supposed to feel creepy, “at night” shoots this title in the foot.  Personally, I think it’s OK for a playground to be vacant at night.  That’s normal, isn’t it?  Not very scary.  If the title is supposed to make us feel that something chilling and unnatural is afoot, I’d recommend something like “The Empty Playground” or “Recess at Midnight.”
8. Six Hours.  This is way too coy.  We need more details.  What’s six hours a reference to?  How long the characters have to spend together on a plane?  How long before a bomb will go off?  How long a character has to live?  For example, “Six Hours to Live” would be OK.
9. Crazy Johansen.  I love the word crazy, and Johansen isn’t awful, but what is this story about?  Surely there’s more going on than just a crazy character.  For example, maybe the story is a comedy about whether a relatively normal character can survive his crazy uncle.  Then “Surviving Crazy Johansen” might be appropriate.
10. Here Be Dragons.  There are a lot of stories with dragons.  This story badly needs to distinguish itself from them.  It also needs more style.  For example, “Backyard Dragon” was a pretty decent name for a story about a real-world kid who finds a dragon.  “His Majesty’s Dragon” was an excellent name about a dragon fighting for the British government.  Rails Across the Dragonlands was a solid choice for a steampunk dragon story.
11. Guardian of the Core.  I’m not entirely sure why I hate this one.  The word “core” really rubs me the wrong way, I suppose.  The core of what?  What’s he guarding against?  Why should I care?
12. A Second Life Obsession.  That’s a plot element, not a story.  Where’s the drama?  For example, “Second Life Widow” is much better because it suggests some conflict between the wife that’s lost touch with her husband because of his Second Life addiction.
13. Sinew and Bone.  Are two parts of the body.  So what?  Where’s the story here?
14. The Haunting Office.  The office is haunting?  Haunting what?  I assume that the author incorrectly meant to use the word “haunted,” but currently it seems to me that the office is some sort of ghost.
15. Dead Letter Office.  I don’t know what’s going on here.
16. Escape from Farside.  Where’s Farside?  Who’s escaping?  Why should I care whether he makes it?
17. Dream Trap.  Are we talking about someone trapped in his sleep, or trapped by an aspiration like the American dream?  If it’s the first one, I’d recommend using a varation of the word “coma” for clarity.  If it’s the second, I’d recommend being more specific and smooth.  Dream Trap is very awkward.
18. Fairytale Country.  Not that I’m biased or anything, but this title isn’t as good as “Superhero Nation.”  Are we talking about a fantasy country where fairy tales happen, a realistic country that feels like a fairy tale (similar to California or Florida at their best), or something else entirely?  In Superhero Nation, I think it’s pretty clear that the nation in question is the United States: the US is the setting of most superhero stories and the country arguably acts like a superhero, with well-intentioned violence and a strong intention that those who can act are morally obliged to (compare Andrew Jackson’s “one man with courage makes a majority” to Spiderman’s “with great power comes great responsibility“).
19. Locked Room.  That’s a place, not a story.  What’s happening in the locked room?  Who’s locked away?  Why should we care?
20. Reaper Kelstarus.  I like the word reaper, but I don’t know what a reaper is here.  As far as names go, Kelstarus isn’t bad, but I don’t know who he is, either.  Next!
21. A Man and the Use of His Hands.  I have no idea what this means by “the use of his hands.”  (No, get your mind out of the gutter).  This feels far too cryptic.
22. A Phantasmagorical Prediction.  I have no idea what Phantasmagorical means.  Unfortunately, anyone that doesn’t know what it means has roughly a 0% chance of being intrigued enough to start reading.
23. Life Code from Brooklyn.  I have no idea what this means.
24. Rat of the Stone Soldiers.  What the hell?
25. 999.  This is probably the worst of the week.  What is 999 a reference to?  Where’s the story here?

This article was the ninth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9

Cadet Davis reviews and revises the titles of 30 manuscripts submitted to a writing workshop. This will help you evaluate and improve your titles.

Above Average

• This week, none of them stood out… in a good way, anyhow.

Acceptable

1. The Dragon at Davina’s.  Dragon is a strong (and very market-friendly) word that identifies this book as fantasy, but “at Davina’s” is not as interesting.  Who is Davina and why should we care about here?  This title was, however, stronger than something like “Davina’s Dragon.”
2. Alien Entrepreneurs.  Like the previous title, this uses a very genre-specific word (alien).  But why would we care about alien entrepreneurs?  What’s at stake?  What are the alien entrepreneurs trying to do?  Etc.  I think this title would be more interesting if it suggested something about the plot, maybe Buying Earth or, for a more technical feel, Short-Selling Earth.
3. The Fall of Ganymede.  The typical sci-fi reader probably knows that Ganymede is a moon in our solar system, so this is a functional title that competently identifies the genre and basic plot.  The only thing holding this title back is a lack of style.  How is this book different from other sci-fi invasion stories?
4. With a Whimper.  This is a reference to a line from a T.S. Eliot poem (“this is the way the world ends/not with a bang but a whimper”).  The average reader probably wouldn’t infer that the book is about the end of the world, but it seems effective for literary readers.
5. Elijah’s Chariot.  This is a biblical allusion to an apocalyptic revelation (God brought Elijah to heaven in a chariot of fire). I suspect that fans of religious-themed fantasy would get the reference, but this title doesn’t tell us too much about the book.  If I were writing a chilling book about the relationship between religion and science, for example, I might call it something like “Perfecting God’s Image.”  That uses a biblical allusion but says more about the content of the plot and what’s at stake.

This article was the eighth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9

When you guys review titles, you frequently suggest that the title go farther to distinguish itself from other books with a similar setting.  For example, you said that the manuscript Questor failed to distinguish itself from other Roman stories, but how many Roman stories are there?  Why would you need to distinguish yourself within such a small subset of books?

Thanks for your e-mail, Giuseppe.  Questor’s title failed to distinguish its premise.  The setting is uncommon, but what happens in the book?  What is the hero trying to accomplish in ancient Rome?  Generally, the best titles identify the book’s premise.

• His Majesty’s Dragon (“what if the war against Napoleon was fought with dragons?”)
• Soon I Will Be Invincible: (“what if we told a superhero story mostly from the supervillain’s perspective?”)

Some other titles neglect the premise and focus on the subgenre and setting.  That may be sufficient, but it’s generally not as impressive.

• Superhero Nation.  The title suggests it’s a superhero story set in the real world, but you’d have to look at the book cover to know that the book is mainly about an unlikely police officer and his non-human partner.
• Questor.  It’s a story set in ancient Rome, but that’s just the setting.  What is the premise?  What happens?  What is the hero attempting to accomplish? My guess is that the setting isn’t interesting enough to sell the book on its own.

Above Average

1. Uncommon Law. The word “law” effectively identifies the niche. This title also shows enough of the premise to interest readers, I think, particularly if the reader would be impressed that the author knows what common law is.
2. Even the Undead Taste Good Sometimes. This one had flavor and made interesting use of generic words (good, sometimes and undead). It also successfully identifies a desperate-feeling mood (which probably makes this a better title than something like The Delicious Undead). But this could be smoother. To start, I’d recommend revising it to Sometimes Even the Undead Taste Good.
3. Potions and Snowballs. This is a headscratcher, but I’ll admit I’m interested. Snowballs is unexpected and creates a fun tone. Potions establishes a magical-fantasy setting. If I were revising this, I would probably add a third item to the list to suggest where the plot is headed. For example, if this were a wacky Indiana Jones-esque fantasy, I might recommend something like Potions, Snowballs and the Water Bottle of Destiny.
4. Imperialism By Any Other Name. Like Uncommon Law, this title effectively identifies its niche and target audience. If you like politically-themed fantasy, you’d probably like this story. It lacks the flair of the previous three titles, though.

Acceptable

1. Winging It. This is a pretty clever title for a book about a plane of vacationers and a journalist crashing onto a mythical island with winged people. The title also has a hint of desperation, which helps. However, I found this title acceptable rather than above average because I felt that it gave off an overly fantastical vibe. If I hadn’t read the synopsis, I would have assumed that this story was about nonhuman characters in a fantasy world, like a coming of age book where a dragon learns to fly or something.
2. Catching Rays off Pretty Beach. This title is manifestly superior to last week’s Twenty-Six Perfect Days. To me, the phrase “Pretty Beach” suggests that the author is offering his commentary on a superficial beach-town.
3. Alien Spawn. This is a thoroughly mediocre sci-fi horror title. It works because it identifies itself as sci-fi horror, but it really needs more style.
4. The Swarm Queen. This is better than Alien Spawn, but still short on flavor.
5. Forbidden Temple. This is a mediocre Indiana Jones-style title. Forbidden strikes the right tone, but you can do better than “temple.”
6. Devil’s Den. The word “Devil” identifies the niche, but “den” is the weak point here. What’s at stake? Why should we care?  [B. Mac disagrees... "This is an awful title because it's too ambiguous.  Is the Devil's Den just a generically unpleasant place like "Hell's Kitchen" or is it actually a location that belongs to the Devil?]
7. Filthy Blood. This is an interesting visual, but I don’t think it says enough about the story to interest readers. It doesn’t place the story’s setting well enough. Are we looking at a story about blood magic, Nazis and the Holocaust, demonic pacts, etc?
8. Cupid’s Arrow. I think this is a fairly effective name for a romance, but I’d like to know more about the characters involved. Why should we care about whether they fall in love?
9. The Poison Gods. I think the word “poison” is a fresh adjective for gods.

Awful (but Fixable)

1. The Gray. I have no idea what the gray is, or what sort of story this is.
2. Ironspear. Unless Ironspear is a spear that’s made of iron, I have no idea what it is either. Invented words do not lend themselves well to titles and this is no exception.
3. Lord of Aphilia. What sort of place is Aphilia? Why should I care about it, or who governs it? Fictional place-names don’t work well in titles, either.
4. The Shambles of Love. I don’t think that shambles is the right word here. The title literally translates into something like The Ruins of Love, which doesn’t seem to make sense. The author may have meant to use The Shackles of Love, which would be interesting although a bit cliche.
5. The Deep Blue Sea. This is a prepackaged phrase that doesn’t work. Why should we care about a sea that’s deep and/or blue? Those adjectives are horribly boring.
6. Among the Shattered and Debris. This seems very awkward. “The Shattered” is a plural noun, but “Debris” is a singular noun.
7. Twins 1-3. I have no idea what’s going on here. Next!
8. The Construct Wars. I don’t know what a Construct War is, or why I should care about it. This is an example of a phrase that would probably only make sense to someone who has already read the book. That’s a poor way to entice prospective readers. They have not read your book.
9. King Sulaman. Who’s King Sulaman? Don’t know, don’t care.
10. Junkyard. What kind of junkyard? What’s going on there and why should I care?
11. Send Back. What’s being sent back? To whom? Why should I care? What’s at stake?
12. Winter Redemption. Who’s being redeemed? Why should I care?
13. The Rememberers. This has the same problems as the previous four titles but has added awkwardness. Instead of “Rememberers,” I’d recommend something like “Memory-Bearers.” But even that would be awful. What’s being remembered? Who is remembering it? What’s at stake? Why should we care? This title doesn’t get close to giving us enough to care.
14. Baba Yaga and the Story of Valentine and the Dark Night. This is far too long. First, I don’t know who Baba Yaga is or why I should care about him. Second, the word “story” is obnoxious and insults the audience’s intelligence. (“Dark” also made our list of words that should not be used in titles). Third, what the hell’s going on with “the Dark Night?” Aren’t nights dark by definition?
15. The Square Triangle. This is a head-scratcher, but it didn’t take me anywhere interesting.
16. Rain. It is extremely hard to make a one-word title compelling. The word “rain” doesn’t give us anything specific about this story.
17. All the Myths are True. This needs far more style.
18. The Rectifier. This is far more pretentious than “The Fixer” or “The Problem-Solver,” and even those titles would have been awful. What problems is he rectifying? Why should we care?
19. P ill(ness) [sic]. I have no idea what the hell’s going on here, but it surely does not speak well of the author.
20. Brotherhood of Baphomet. I think Baphomet is an invented name. Why should I care about his brotherhood?
21. Turnover. This is too ambiguous. Are we talking about a basketball turnover, an employee leaving one job for another, or something else entirely? What does “turnover” mean and why should we care?
22. Wailing the Night. I don’t know what this means, or what kind of story this is, or why I should care.
23. Scratch. One word titles don’t work, sorry. This is no exception.
24. The Endless Abyss. Too bland. Aren’t abysses typically endless?

This article was the seventh part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9

2) Man/Person. Generic nouns are usually vague, which makes them poorly-suited for a title. For example, Two Men and a Sword is bland and forgettable. Two Firemen and a Sword is more intriguing. Try to replace generic words with ones that provide more information about the story to prospective readers.

3) Song. This is like “story,” but even more aggravating. Unless your book is literally about a musician or music, please do not use “song” in your title.

4) Heart. This is usually a generic and ineffective way to suggest your story is emotionally driven. Which characters experience which emotions? Why should we care?

5) Night/Black/Dark/Darkness.  These are typically used ineffectively to suggest that the story is dark and foreboding. You can do better. For example, Requiem for a Dream. If you use something like night/black/darkness anyway, please at least combine it with something unexpected to intrigue readers. For example, Darkness at Noon or the series title His Dark Materials.

6) Stranger. This word is often superfluous in a title and can usually be replaced with a more specific, powerful noun. Let’s say your title is The Strangers Among Us. You can replace “stranger” here with a more interesting and specific noun. If the title were The Soldiers Among Us, for instance, we would understand that the soldiers are strangers compared to “us.”

7) Boring adjectives. I’ve seen The Green Dragon… The Strongest Barbarian… The Forest Ranger. If you use an adjective, make sure it’s one that readers will care about.  As a rule of thumb, unexpected and unusual adjectives tend to be most interesting.  For example, compare The Green Dragon to Backyard Dragon or His Majesty’s Dragon.

8 ) Fictional place names. Readers aren’t familiar with your fictional kingdoms and cities. We probably won’t care about them.  Please focus on the elements of your story that will engage prospective readers. Alternately, if you need to refer to a place, it may be more effective to name its type of building rather than the building specifically. For example, Murder in the Cathedral or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

9) Fictional character names. We don’t know who your characters are, so their names will probably not interest us much unless they are extraordinarily evocative, such as  Barbara Bloodbath. Instead of naming a fictional character, it’s usually more effective to refer to him by his profession or rank or something else that describes his role in the story.  For example, His Majesty’s Dragon is a far more effective novel title than Temeraire would have been.

10) A reference clear to few prospective readers. For example, a title like Gethsemane would be unwise unless you were writing for an audience that is highly Bible-savvy.  Alternatively, if you use a reference that a prospective reader doesn’t know, is the title effective anyway?  For example, a title like Dead Letter Office might establish a vaguely sinister mood even if you don’t know what a dead letter office is.

Above Average

1. Dragon in Distress. We suggested this title last week, but I love it here. It indicates what the story’s setting and plot are. Because this title twists the damsel-in-distress cliche, it feels much fresher than last week’s Royal Rescue.
2. Magical Hazmat. This suggests a wacky premise well, but I’d like to know more about the genre. Is this fantasy, magical sci-fi or real-world fantasy?

Acceptable

1. A Trip to Orbit. This is a passable science fiction title, but how it is different from any other story about a space station? Who’s making the trip? Why should we care?
2. Crack o’ Doom. This is cryptic and weird, but I’m remotely interested. I’d still like to know more about the genre, though.
3. The Brass Whoreling. Whoreling is an excellent word, but brass doesn’t modify it in any helpful way. Why would we care about a whoreling that is brass instead of, say, golden?

Awful (but Fixable!)

1. The Nth Estate. This feels like a bad attempt at an in-joke. First, most readers probably don’t know what the estates are. Even if a reader knew that the first four are organized religion, the wealthy, the masses and the media, why would he want to read this title? What kind of book is this? Who would you recommend this book to?
2. Myron’s Debarkation. Debarkation seems pretentious here and could easily be replaced with “departure,” but the title would still suffer because it uses a character’s name. Who’s Myron and why should we care about him? Where’s he going and why? What sort of world are we looking at? What sort of conflict is present in this story? This title doesn’t even begin to offer any of the information that might pique a reader’s interest.
3. Hands of Time. I don’t know what kind of story this is or why I should care about it. This is a prepackaged phrase that fails to tell us anything interesting about this story.
4. No Signal. What’s the conflict here? Why should I care about this story? Is this a sci-fi story or real-world fiction?
5. Vicesteed. I think this is a name. I don’t know who Vicesteed is or why I would want to read about him.
6. George’s Death. Who’s George and why should I care that he has died? This is better than Myron’s Debarkation or Vicesteed, but the average reader will not care about any of these characters until the authors have actually introduced them. Titles should generally stay away from character names.
7. Lessons Never Taught. This feels pretentious and fails to say very much about what kind of story it is. A slightly better revision would be “Untaught Lessons,” but it would still be too bland. What kind of lessons are they? This title can apply to literally any story in which someone learns something from someone in a non-academic setting.
8. PermInfant. The premise of this sci-fi story is that a company has figured out an easy way to freeze and unfreeze children so that you only have to worry about them on your schedule. (Taking a vacation? Put your kid on ice!) I think the premise is an intelligent observation on the changing role of children in modern families, but the title wholly fails to sell it. I’d prefer something like Ice Your Kids Today! To make the sci-fi more obvious, I might replace “ice” with “cryofreeze.”
9. Negative Energy. This feels like an invented phrase, but it’s actually a concept in particle physics. I assume that most readers of hard sci-fi will get the reference, but even so the author could do a better job selling this hard sci-fi story.
10. The dealing room. This title is not properly capitalized and looks strange. But leaving that aside, what’s a dealing room and why should I care what happens there? What sort of characters and conflict are we looking at?
11. Induction. This is a horribly ambiguous title. Induction has many meanings– such as initiation into a hall of fame, a style of logic, the start of a play, causing a change in a biological process, electromagnetic induction or a rite of passage. The word induction tells us absolutely nothing about this story. I would recommend building a completely new, longer title.
12. Time Unwound. The word “time” is rarely helpful in a title, and this is no exception. What sort of story is this? What’s the conflict? Who are the characters and why should we care about them? Adding more details could not hurt this title.
13. Tree Frog with Stick. This title sounds very awkward. I think it would be much smoother if it were revised to “A Tree Frog with a Stick.” I suppose that might be intriguing on a very zany level, but it could work. The title One Brown-Haired Girl with a Stick was far more compelling, though.
14. Red Dawn: The Duellist
15. It’s the Law. This is a prepackaged phrase that has potential but needs another detail or two. For example, compare It’s the Law to something more exotic and specific like It’s the Law, Said the Dragon. Alternatively, you could replace dragon with another genre-specific word like gangster, alien, warlord, barbarian, supervillain, wizard, etc. The original is so bland that it could apply to any crime story. Giving us another detail would help flesh out the story and the author’s style.
16. The Swan, the Crow and the Sparrow. I have no idea why I would want to read a story about three talking birds. If this book is not about three talking birds, it has completely mismarketed itself.
17. Twenty-five Perfect Days. This doesn’t feel very interesting. It sounds more like a recounting of an ideal vacation than a real story. In this context, the word “perfect” suggests that nothing troubling or dramatic happens. (Compare 25 Perfect Days to Perfecting God’s Image). What happens on these 25 days and why should we care? What sort of conflict arises during these 25 perfect days? Why would we want to read about anything perfect? Finally, I think that the word “Twenty-five” looks awkward in a title. I’d avoid the hyphen by writing the number as 25 or changing the number to something that can be written out smoothly like twenty or thirty.
18. The Messenger of Secrets. This feels overwrought and screams “hackish fantasy.” Who is the messenger and what are his secrets? Why should we care about either? The anime series Read or Die has a far better version of this title, I think. It has the same cloak-and-dagger feel but ultimately has much more flair.
19. Fallen Prophecy. This may have been the week’s worst title. It doesn’t even make sense. How can a prophecy fall? A less awful version of this title would be “Fallen Prophet,” but even that feels entirely hackish. Who is this prophet and why should we care about him? What sort of conflict are we looking at?
20. Questor. Although this was a rank in ancient Rome, I suspect it’s an invented word in the context of this story. What is a questor and why should I care? If this story is actually about ancient Rome, I think it needs to go further in identifying itself and how it is different than any other story about Rome. Finally, if this title is actually an attempt to make a noun out of the word “quest,” it has epically failed.
21. Into the Chimera Nexus. This title is disjointed. Nexus sounds like sci-fi, but chimera is definitely a fantasy word. Anyway. Who’s going into the nexus? Why should we care? What sort of conflict will they face? Why are they going? Alternatively, what is the chimera nexus and why should we care? I found Journey to the Center of the Earth a fairly effective title because the setting is self-explanatory and the title has rhythm.
22. Simple Magic. This is definitely the week’s worst title that uses any variation of magic. Simple is just a terrible adjective here. Why should we care about simple magic more than just regular magic? I would recommend cutting simple and/or magic and replacing them with more specific words. For example, if your readers know that “cantrip” is a word for a trivial spell, then they may find “The Cantripist” intriguing. Alternatively, you could take the idea of beginner’s magic and try to work it into the title in a completely different way. For example, this title reminded me of So You Want to be a Wizard, which is one of my favorite childrens’ titles.
23. The Scarlet Window. Why would we want to read about a window, scarlet or otherwise? This does not seem very interesting. What conflict are we looking at? Genre/characters/setting?

This article was the sixth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9

Above Average

1. Malignant Fusion. Malignant is stylish and illustrates the mood of the story. Fusion shows this story is sci-fi, but replacing fusion with something less melodramatic would probably improve this title.
2. Hellhounds. Although this title has only one word, it manages to work in some imagery and setting. However, it needs more details. What’s at stake? Why should we care?

Acceptable

1. Yuletide in Camelot. This creates an interesting contrast between the location and the time. What kind of King Arthur story could you tell during Christmas? That’s an interesting premise. My main concern is that it’s not clear whether this is an action story.
2. The Lost Mariachi. This is a head-scratcher, but I found it endearing. I suspect that adding details could help sell this story. What’s at stake? Why should we care about the mariachi?
3. Stranger Among Us. I love the phrase “among us,” but it makes the word “stranger” superfluous. If the title were, say, The Soldiers Among Us, readers would easily pick up that soldiers are strange to the story’s other characters. Consequently, this title should replace “stranger” with a more specific and interesting noun. That would also help establish the setting and plot.
4. The Book of Adam. This title is thoroughly mediocre, but it successfully markets itself as religious-themed fiction. The biblical structure is passable but desperately needs more flair. For example, given that this is a sci-fi story about genetic engineering, we could try something like Enhancing God’s Image. For a colder, creepier feel, we might try Perfecting God’s Image.
5. Path of the Warrior. This is another mediocre title that successfully identifies its niche.  Japanophiles will hopefully pick up the cue that “path of the warrior” is a direct translation of “bushido” (Japanese chivalry).  The title suffers because path and warriors are bland words.  The story could probably distinguish itself from other stories about medieval Japan by using an adjective to modify warrior, or replacing warrior with a more specific noun.
6. Fat Grins from Space. I suspect that this head-scratcher might intrigue fans of wacky sci-fi. This has potential, but I think that revising “Fat Grins” will help.
7. Royal Rescue. This successfully suggests the genre (medieval fantasy) and the substance, but it feels clumsy because it relies on such a one-dimensional plot. If the plot sounded more interesting, the title would be more effective. Would you rather read Royal Rescue or The Dragon Doesn’t Want to be Rescued? I prefer the second because it adds an unexpected character (a dragon in distress) and conflict (with a prisoner that doesn’t want to be rescued).

Awful (but Fixable!)

1. The Hand. Whose hand? Why should we care? This title badly needs more details.
2. The Forest Ranger. “Forest” is a boring adjective here. Why should we care about a forest ranger? What’s at stake? What kind of story is this?
3. Playgel Riser. I have no idea what that means or why I should care about it. I think both words are invented. I don’t recommend using invented words in titles.
4. The Edge of TIme [the capital 'I' in 'TIme' was in the original]. Improperly capitalizing “Time” earns this title a one-way trip to the awful pile, but the title would have been awful anyway. This prepackaged phrase doesn’t suggest enough about the story or why we should care.
5. she’s come back [no capitals]. This is another improperly capitalized title. Look at this from the editor’s perspective. If an author doesn’t even double-check his title, there is no chance that his manuscript is worth reading… Also, even if this title were capitalized, I’d still want to know who she is, where she has come back from and why we should care. This title doesn’t give us enough to generate interest.
6. Gethsemane. Using an invented word as a one-word title fails more than 95% of the time. What’s a Gethsemane? Don’t know, don’t care. Next!
7. Current of the Pathless. This feels trippy. I don’t know what a current of the pathless is, or what kind of story this is, or why I should care.
8. The Black. Huh? Black seems to be a noun here, but I don’t know what a black is or why I should care about it. My best attempt to make sense of this title is that it’s about a human of African heritage. Somehow I don’t think that’s what the author meant.
9. Hanuman’s Bridge. Who’s Hanuman and why should we care about his bridge? This title makes poor use of a character’s name.
10. I, Con. This feels like a much more awkward version of I, Robot.
11. Strength of Spirit. Who has a strong spirit? What sort of obstacles do they have to overcome? Why should we care? This bland title could apply to virtually every fantasy or realistic-fiction story ever written. If your title can describe a cancer survival story as easily as a tale of knights saving princesses, you’ve got a problem.
12. Knight of Decision. This title is so horribly awkward, so wildly cacophonous that it must be scrapped immediately. When the author rewrites it, he should try elaborating which decision the knight is making and why we should care.
13. Manji’s Tale. This wasn’t as effective as Path of the Warrior. Using a character’s name is rarely effective. Words like “tale” or “story” are wholly ineffective because they completely fail to tell readers anything about your story. What kind of tale is this? Who’s Manji and why should we care about him? What’s the genre like? Besides a faint whiff of Japaneseness, we have literally nothing to go on here.
14. Venus Doom. This feels awkward and strange. I think that revising it to Doom on Venus would probably help somewhat. I still have concerns, though. What kind of doom? Who is facing doom? Why should we care? This feels pretty melodramatic.
15. Man’s Best Friend. What’s the setting like? Whose dog are we talking about? This prepackaged phrase fails to tell us anything about this story except that there’s a dog.
16. Vernal Equinox. This is impressive vocabulary, but why should I care? What about this equinox is so special that we will want to read about it?
17. City. Why should we care about this city? Are we talking about a modern metropolis, a city of elves, a lunar base, etc? What sort of plot is unfolding in this city? What conflicts are brewing? (Mob bosses? Orcish invasion? Alien subterfuge?)
18. The Lottery. What kind of lottery? (Money? Conscription? Something else?) What’s at stake? Who’s eligible? What sort of conflict are we looking at?
19. Time Will Tell. Too bland. This title fails to tell us anything about the story.

This article was the fifth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9

Above Average

1. Evil by Choice. This one has a lot of style and markets itself well to the readers of psychologically-themed and villain-as-main-character stories.
2. Rails Across the Dragonlands. This sells a steampunk fantasy well, but it would be more effective if it gave us something to care about.

Acceptable

1. Drastic Measures. This illustrates the theme of desperation, but I think that this prepackaged phrase is too bland here. You could apply it to so many different books that it says little about the setting, genre and characters of this one.
2. Sweet Seconds. This is interesting, but I think the word seconds makes it unhelpfully ambiguous and bland. This could be a story about someone savoring the last seconds of his life, or a story about a story about a second round of eating, or a runner narrowly winning a race, etc. Replacing “seconds” with an appropriate synonym would probably help this title make the sell.
3. Sparkle Fairy and the Great Banana Slug. I love the phrase “Great Banana Slug,” but this title could do better if it revised Sparkle Fairy. Is that a name? Why should I care about it?
4. Hell’s Rebellion. This adequately suggests what the story is about, but lacks style. Why should we read it instead of some other story about hellish infighting?
5. Two Men and a Sword. This one is unusually generic, but it at least illustrates it is fantasy with the word “sword.” I think that replacing the word “men” with a more specific word would probably make the title more interesting and intriguing. For example, I’d pay $10 to read “Two Firemen and a Sword.”

Awful (But Fixable!)

1. In Love and War. This is a prepackaged phrase that is wholly bland and forgettable. I’d recommend that the author scrap it.
2. The Mound. Why should we care about the mound? What’s its significance? This is a one-word title that definitely doesn’t work.
3. The Traveler. Who’s the traveler? Why should we care about him? Why’s he so important that you’ve written a book about him? Again, this is a one-word title that needs more details.
4. Anamnesis. Using made-up words in a title is rarely a good idea. What the hell is anamnesis? Why should I want to read about it? What’s at stake in this story? This one-word title also needs more details.
5. Storm Dancer. This feels too cheesy. Also, what’s a storm dancer and why should we care?
6. The Pravus. What’s a pravus? Why should we care about it? Like “Anamesis,” this one errs by using a single imaginary word.
7. Voices in the Night. This suggests a eerie mood, but not enough about the story. It also lacks style. Whose voices are we listening to? Why should we care?
8. Telephone Ted. Although this has style, it doesn’t suggest anything about the substance of the story. What kind of story is this? Why should we care?
9. Primordial. One word titles rarely work and this is no exception. It comes off as cheesy and formulaic. I’d recommend adding a few more details.
10. Bright Lady’s Chosen. Who’s the Bright Lady and why should we care about her? What’s she chosen someone for? Why should we care about that person? This feels like a generically bad fantasy story.
11. Personal Space. This prepackaged phrase is too bland. The word “space” is too ambiguous here; it could just be about someone that wants more space, or it could be about outer space. If it’s not about outer space, that’s a red herring that should be removed. Anyway, who needs more personal space and why should we care about him?
12. The Eternal Link. I have no idea what’s going on here, or why I should care.
13. It’s Always Darkest. Another prepackaged phrase that’s not too interesting. Why should I care about it getting darker? What’s at stake?
14. The Enchanter’s Heir. Who’s the enchanter and why should I care about him and his choice of successor? What’s at stake?
15. Empire of Blood. The word “empire” is not too interesting. Also, the phrase “of blood” is cheesy. I’d suggest replacing “of blood” with a modifying clause that makes this an empire we would want to read about.
16. Golgoath Part One, ‘Renaissance En Vie’. I don’t recommend using foreign-words in a title. I have no what “golgoath” or “renaissance en vie” mean. Don’t know, don’t care.

This article was the fourth part of a series. If you’d like to read our reviews of other batches of titles, please see the list just below.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8
• Part 9