Archive for the 'Review Forums' Category

Feb 10 2012

Sparx’ Review Forum

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I provide advice about how to write novels, comic books and graphic novels. Most of my content applies to fiction-writing in general, but I also provide articles specifically about superhero stories.

Sparx: “I’m writing an action/comedy about the lives of superheroes not only during their crimefighting gigs, but their hectic and often funny home lives as well.

 

It doesn’t have a title yet, but it’s about a team of young superheroes (around age 20) who live in an apartment complex that houses other superhumans as well (good and bad ones). The main character is the younger brother to the team leader, but doesn’t have superpowers himself. Certain circumstances force the character to live with his brother at the apartment, along with the leader’s zany teamates.

 

The idea of this story makes one think of it as a mix between “Hey Arnold”, and “Justice Friend” from “Dexter’s Laboratory”. The target audience would be anyone 16 and up. I can add much much more detail about the entirety of this story if you have any questions.”

4 responses so far

Feb 08 2012

Zyrion’s Review Forum

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Zyrion is writing a novel (target audience 12+) about a girl with brain cancer who gains telekinetic powers after her operation is interrupted by a fight between a superhero and a villain.

9 responses so far

Feb 08 2012

Richard’s Review Forum

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Richard writes:

“My main character is called Edward Snyde, but is mainly referred to by his surname. He is a bit of a misanthropist, and is easily agitated, but he tries to keep a mainly calm state of mind. This is because of his superpower: he can control people. This is done through a chemical he produces through his skin, that turns those that inhale it into a hallucinogenic state, in which Snyde can tell them what to do. This sounds great, but it has two drawbacks: Snyde must be completely focused at all times, and if he controls the person for two long, their basic brain functions stop, and the person being controlled dies.

 

In the world Snyde inhabits, all those with powers work for the Company: a large organization that pretty much serves as a superhuman military service. Anyone with powers who does not work in the Company (this includes criminals, old people- anyone) are collectively known as Manics, and are brought down by the heroes. Hero training begins at thirteen, and they can stop doing active crime fighting (but not leave the Company) after 30 years of service.

 

The main plot of the story revolves around Snyde and his division of beginning heroes (they have all just started in the Company). There are five mutants in the group:
-Shepherd (Snyde’s codename)
-Bonfire, a character who I also want to go into depth with. He can release large quantities of thermal energy, as well as absorbing other forms of energy, then converting them. He is the opposite of Snyde: Whilst he is resourceful, calm and antisocial, Bonfire is headstrong, arrogant and eager to be the center of attention.
-Specter, the stereotypical ‘little miss backstabber’. She has the power to enter people’s dreams, something that scares Snyde (he hates the thought that others can enter his head when he is unaware of it).
-Electron, the daughter of their first villain, Techulon (excuse for the cheesy name: her mother was an old school hero fan). She has the power to control technology through electrical signals
-Division, a highly religious boy that can replicate himself. He is also a sadist, and this troubles him deeply.

 

I want to show the development of the team members as individuals, and how the actions they take change one another (spoiler: Snyde becomes a manic). I also want to show the Company as both a good thing and a bad: whilst it keeps those that the public would be afraid of on a leash, and uses their powers for the good of mankind, there are some things that seem a little off (for example, using children as bio-weapons, and categorizing them based on their powers: Snyde has a purple ring on his chest, because he is psychic, and Bonfire has red, as his powers are energy based. This open discrimination creates a lot of tension, as psychics are generally seen as trouble, energy powers as big headed, and the children of Manics as evil.)

 

Any comments are greatly appreciated, as I want this novel (if I ever write it) to be as good as possible.”

18 responses so far

Feb 03 2012

Ani’s Review Forum

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“Hi there, I’m Ani, a newbie to posting but a long time reader, and I’d like some opinions.

 

My newest idea is about a teenage girl named Jessie who has been working to defeat the forces of the supernatural since she was ten years old, when the ghost of her mother returned to help her grandfather train Jessie. She’s seventeen now, and she regularly fights these forces, what she fights varies from week to week, but includes things such as vampires, werewolves, and ghosts – all in the classical sense. However, the biggest thing she fights are the Boogeymen, ghosts of emotions who cause havoc and pain wherever they go in their quest to destroy. Boogeymen can only be seen by those who know exactly what they are and believe in them – such as Jessie and Derek (we’ll get to him), and children, who believe in such monsters under the bed.

 

Jessie is not focused on being popular or getting boys, and will not fall apart the first cute boy she comes across. The drama comes mostly from her two worlds intersecting, her friends finding out about her abilities and ‘night job’, and the tension between her grandfather and her over the ‘future of the family power’. Her abilities come from meditation and balance, meaning that she needs to stay focussed and calm or run the risk of getting herself killed in action. Essentially, she’s a ninja. A redheaded, British descended ninja.

 

The rest of the cast includes Samantha a.k.a. Sam, Jessie’s sports loving, tomboy best friend who has a major crush on Derek. Tristan, the childhood best friend of the girls, who is not actually in love with either of them. He’s into technology and inventing. And then there’s Derek, the stereotypically hottest and most popular guy in school, who, in all actuality, is a huge dork and loves all things supernatural, often tripping over his words in trying to protect his reputation. He’s generally a nice guy though, and hangs out with everyone, particularly Jessie and Co.

 

There’s not much in the way of plot yet. But I do know that Sam already knows about Jessie’s little hobby, Tristan is suspicious of what they do in their spare time – which actually leads to a subplot where he thinks they are secretly dating and ‘outs’ them to the whole school. He later finds out the truth though and proceeds to try and make new gadgets for Jessie. And Derek ends up in the middle of it all due to his paranoid and supernatural loving ways. Add on the fact that Jessie’s Mom tends to hang around and chat with her, though Jessie and her grandfather are the only ones who can see him, and her grandfather constantly pushing her to become the ultimate fighter and wanting her to take over the family, and I think I have something relatively interesting.

 

Thoughts?”

15 responses so far

Feb 02 2012

Hobbes’ Review Forum

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Please see the comments below.

41 responses so far

Feb 01 2012

Dan Lee’s Review Forum

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31 responses so far

Feb 01 2012

Green Kid’s Review Forum

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Green Kid says: “I’ve started work on a teen superhero novel about a boy who develops super powers after being exposed to a chemical dumped in the local lake by a large corporation conducting research on possible ways to create a superhuman. It’s very early in the process and I’ve barely written anything, but I’d like to see what people have to say about my ideas and how I can make them better. By the way, I am very new at this and I don’t have a lot of experience.”

5 responses so far

Jan 30 2012

Tehonym’s Review Forum

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Please see the comments below.  Thanks!

One response so far

Jan 10 2012

Kahi’s Review Forum

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Kahi: “At the moment, [I’m writing] a novel. Its about a world where superhumans have long been the cause for conspiracy and secrecy, but have recently entered the public eye in the last decade. While the world is adjusting to these superhumans walking among them, a mutant is discovered that has the ability to sense and create oil. The governments of the world all take interest in the mutant, and are prepared to enter into another World War to have such a valuable skill on their side.”

 

Target audience: “I’m not sure what the target audience would be…I’m suspecting male teenagers would be the primary audience for this sort of thing, but there is a chance that an older audience might find it interesting, as well as a female audience.”

 

“’Don’t sugar-coat your advice, but please try to be polite.’ While this is my first time posting something like this on an open forum, I really want to know what others think about this premise/idea.”

17 responses so far

Jan 07 2012

Young Author’s Review Forum

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Please see the comments below.  Thanks!

86 responses so far

Jan 06 2012

Comic Book Guy’s Review Forum

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Comic Book Guy: “I have an conceptual idea for a total redesign of the DC comic universe and would like to know what people of work I’ve done on the members of the Justice League.”

50 responses so far

Jan 02 2012

Damzo’s Review Forum

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Please see the comments below. Thanks.

2 responses so far

Dec 23 2011

Legolas Arrow’s Review Forum

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Legolas Arrow: “I’m working on a story about superheroes fighting a variety of villains trying to take over the world.  Among the villains, there are factions that plan to take out other factions when they take over the world, and then the last faction divides into factions, until it’s the ultimate power struggle between two supreme villains. In other words, if they manage to take control, it’s like The Hunger Games; alliances can only be temporary. The story might also have various side-plots, such as the story of Shadow Assassin or what happens when half the superheroes become convinced the other half is evil.  (That idea is pending).”

19 responses so far

Dec 13 2011

Rolando’s Review Forum

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Rolando is working on a story about a superhero whose wife gets assassinated at his retirement ceremony.  That Jamaican cruise will have to wait.

7 responses so far

Nov 14 2011

Cypress’ Review Forum

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I’m currently working on a novel for the first time. I’m not looking to get published anytime soon, but I’ll take anything you can throw at me to improve my writing.

 

My story plot is a little vague right now since I’m still trying to figure out where I want the story to go so…

 

My novel’s focus is on Christena, she is about 25 years old and works as a secretary for the boss of a small mafia. She’s having issues coping with her life in the mafia after spending most of her time in a vigilante group that went after criminals who escaped justice. The story starts a year and a half after the death of the three other girls in her group that were like her sisters. Christena is both physically and mentally scarred from the bombing that kill her sisters, and is also forced to deal with an obsessed psychopath that she works for.

 

The story is currently being told in the POVs of Christena and her boss with a prologue that is two years before the story starts.

4 responses so far

Oct 17 2011

Derp Writer’s Review Forum

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Please see the comments below.

9 responses so far

Sep 04 2011

Patrick Harris’ Review Forum

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Faster than a bottlenose dolphin. More powerful than a raging typhoon. Able to save the day even when the day is already long and dark — a blue blur arcing through the sky, it’s WATERMAN!

 
Waterman, a superhero aided by water powers and dependable allies, and dedicated to preserving the peace and prosperity of mankind. Waterman, the scourge of every criminal and supervillain alike. Waterman, protector of the northern metropolitan, Elko, Nevada.
 
But soon, his beloved hometown will need all the help it can get. Little does Waterman know, the city of Elko has been infiltrated by an evil that seeps seamlessly into schools, government, and homes. They are cold, calculating, and flawless in their execution; their agents are everywhere, bloodthirsty and cunning. They are THE LISTERNERS, a timeless cult that must be stopped before their ultimate dastardly plans cast a city into a darkness from which it cannot return.
 
Who better to save the day than Elko’s most beloved, and only, superhero! It is Waterman who must fight the Listeners craftiest agents, ARNOLD HUNTFURT and GARGOYLE. Waterman, the protector of Elko, who must discover what they are up to before they bring the city to its knees. Yet the more he works against the sinister villains, the more their paths seem to be centered on the same origin. The Listeners seek what he has already found: the source of his power, an artifact that transformed a normal young man into a high-flying hero. The object that forever changed the life of Eric Atl.
 
Eric Atl was exceptional before providence found him. He was the fastest swimmer in his school, surrounded by loving family and faithful friends, and madly in love with Water. Not necessarily the water he would one day control, but the girl just out of his reach: MELISSA WATER. They were best friends, even if he hoped for more.
 
Eric was also a young man without direction. With high school winding down to a close, he yearned to know what life had in store for him and what he was meant to do. He wanted purpose.
 
His wishes were granted in a seemingly superfluous event: the Red Springs field trip.
On an auspicious day in February, Eric, Melissa, and twenty other classmates go on an Archaeology field trip chaperoned by Mr. Arnold Huntfurt. The destination is Red Springs, site of the ancient Siouwatchican tribe. The Siouwatchicans were Aztecs who had fled to present-day Nevada when the Spanish Conquest threatened their empire. Before being found and killed by a reconnaissance group of conquistadors, the Siouwatchicans buried seven of their most prized artifacts in the sands. Rumors surround the site, whispers of magic relics that turn men into gods.
 
While digging for relics to study in class, Eric and Melissa uncover a peculiar silver disk. Within seconds of either touching the artifact, they are cut by it and their blood trickles across its surface. Two of Eric’s friends, JOSEPH HARIT and JACK NOLAN, and the Archaeology teacher, Mr. Huntfurt, arrive and are in turn cut by the disk. There is a flash of light, Eric thinks inexplicably of how great it is to be normal, and they all fall into unconsciousness. Eric Atl and his friends would never be normal again.
 
When Eric next awakens, he has no memory of the event. Within days, Jack and Joseph have gone missing. Random citizens in Elko begin to disappear with no trace. Siouwatchican artifacts begin to unearth themselves. Eric begins to develop the ability to control water and . . . fly? Melissa grows closer to him, encouraging him to take flight as a superhero, perhaps sporting a classy W and swooping in to save the day. All the while, the Listeners gather their strength, finalizing their preparations to finally lunge and sink their teeth into the world.
 
In the end, of course, Waterman and his friends will stand triumphant — but at what cost? Is success worth the casualties of war? Is Eric prepared for encounters ending in heart-wrenching tragedy? Dangerous expeditions to find mind-bending relics? What madness will be unleashed along the way? Eric soon learns the feud between Waterman and the Listeners is an event that has been destined to occur since the birth of the Aztecs.

19 responses so far

Sep 04 2011

M*A*S*H’s Review Forum

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4 responses so far

Aug 22 2011

Ekimmak’s Review Forum

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38 responses so far

Aug 13 2011

Snow’s Review Forum

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No responses yet

Aug 12 2011

Salazaris’ Review Forum

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Salazaris is working on The Deeping Space.  When the son of a world-famous ecologist gets lost in the forbidding jungle, he finds himself on the rim of a civilization that has existed in subterranean silence for nearly a thousand years. His arrival signals the beginning of an imminent war against the oppressive government whose iron grip has held the citizens bound within the confines of a staged psychological experiment. Risking everything for a people who believe him to be a traitor, he must win a war that will save the citizens, and himself, from eternal subjugation.

10 responses so far

Jul 23 2011

Tempo’s Review Forum

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Tempo is writing a novel about two unlikely heroes who team up to defeat the creations of a mad scientist.

5 responses so far

Jul 19 2011

Review for Cyber: The Adventures of Kaz Medina

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Areeq is looking for reviews of his first novel, a teen-superhero meets Alex Rider meets The Matrix sort of book. Please read it and let him know what you think.  Here’s Areeq’s pitch:

Kaz Medina is thrust from his normal seventeen year old life in Manchester, into a world of danger, excitement, and the supernormal.

 

This is an original young adult novel relevant to this new millennium about a seventeen year old boy, called Kaz Medina, with an internet-based superpower. Kaz is a seemingly, normal adolescent living in the suburbs of Manchester, England, studying for his A Levels when one evening he discovers that he has absorbed a Wikipedia page into his mind.

 

With the help of his best friend Jade, he discovers and develops the extent of his power. Through the use of websites such as Facebook, Google, Wikipedia, and eBay, he is able to assimilate identities, teleport throughout the world, learn how to do almost anything, and gain access to almost everything.

 

Soon after, two men in black suits turn up at his house and Kaz’s life is turned upside down. Kaz becomes a weapon for the UK Government and embarks on his journey to becoming the most powerful teenager in the world.

7 responses so far

Jul 08 2011

NicKenny’s Second Review Forum

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The protagonist of this novel is David Lawless, whose ability is reactive evolution. He gains a new ability whenever he believes that he is about to die, in order to prevent his death. He’s joined by John, a telepath, Alice, who can turn invisible and Adam, who scares people. Because he kills people.

They all attend a school set up to teach mutants how to control and improve their abilities run by the mysterious organisation the Mentors. It’s based in the military facility Fort Drum in New York state, with the co-operation and funding from various governments and secret services. At first it seems to good to be true, but David begins to learn the dark secret at the heart of the school.

11 responses so far

Jun 15 2011

Mr. Crowley’s Second Review Forum

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Guy Fails is sent to a small kingdom in the south called Illan by a man named William. He only accepts because of a promised bag of gold. Guy travels a bit but eventually gets there. Once there he meets a thief named Lillian. He instantly likes her, though it isn’t returned. He meets and plays parts in small skirmishes and keeps meeting Lillian. They are eventually pegged for a robbery they didn’t commit, the thieving of the King Jewel. A very important gem in the history of Illan. They eventually track down a small cult and are able to retrieve the jewel to clear their name. Guy celebrates with booze, Lillian with robbing the jewel back and selling it on the black market.

Continue Reading »

6 responses so far

May 21 2011

Freedom of the Void Review Forum

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Freedom of the Void: Life wasn’t too bad for the crew of Saoirse (Sheer-sah). Sure they’d lost the war (well most of them anyway) and the Democratic-Republic* of Meridian has reinstated their control over the ring, with the exception of the Joumana System, and the only way they can eke out a living in this economy is thieving and smuggling, but things were relatively calm. That is until they rescue a young woman off a derelict who isn’t what she seems.

 

Freedom of the Void will be a series of 32 page comics, most of which will encompass a whole-nearly-stand-alone plot. The first issue has been written, just needs art. However, as it was the first comic script I ever successfully completed, it probably has my usual problem of too much dialogue, too small of a panel. I haven’t checked on it in the last month as I abandoned it for a story whose art I could do justice. Now I’m going back to it since I’m more inspired by this one.

 

*If you feel the need to repeat that your people are free, they usually aren’t.

 

Continue Reading »

23 responses so far

May 16 2011

Aine’s Review Forum

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Hey, I’m Aine and I’m writing a sci-fi superhero comic book series.

 

Issue One:
“Jumpstart Evolution”
Danny and Eli get powers from an explosion that releases mutagenic gass at the mall and become superheroes to help protect the helpless and determine the origins of the gas.

 

Issue Two:
“The Advent of Cool”
There’s a new hero on the scene but she’s way too skilled for someone who just got her powers last week. Besides, what could she be running from this early in her superhero career?

 

Issue Three:
“The Revolution will be Televised”
The famous “rockstar*” comes to Edgemont. The only thing worse than her music is the fact she can control people’s minds through her songs. And the concert will be broadcast world wide…
*Actually makes pop music with lots of guitar, but in the end it is still pop.** You can tell because the album reads Scarlett Day, not NameOfBandHere.
**Think Britney Spears music with extra guitar.

 

Target Audience includes teens and young adults of either gender (being a female comic reader I get greatly annoyed we get left out when writers and illustrators tailor their work to an all male audience (Hence Starfire and Madeleine Pryor’s costumes) yet at the same time I recognize we female comic readers are minority and need to keep the male audience in mind if we want to be successful). People who liked the Teen Titans, early Spider-Man, and X-Men will probably enjoy this.

 

Spare nothing- I want to know how to attain mass appeal while staying loyal to my premise. If I do something that will turn off prospective readers I want to be because I choose so since I’m stubborn and don’t want to change, not because I’m ignorant and don’t know it could benefit from being changed.”

10 responses so far

Apr 07 2011

Crystal’s Review Forum

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Crystal is writing a novel about the daily life of a superhero.

56 responses so far

Mar 17 2011

Myna’s Review Forum

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A reckless kid with a drug that gives superpowers sets out to become a fake superhero.  Little does he know that the real superheroes are hiding even more lies than he is.

135 responses so far

Mar 17 2011

Rosegirl’s Review Forum

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Rosegirl is working on a live-action superhero TV show.

5 responses so far

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