The police…  threatened to arrest several commission officials on corruption charges of their own and in a bizarre case involving their former chairman, Antasari Azhar. In May, Mr. Antasari was arrested and accused of ordering the murder of a prominent businessman who was blackmailing him over an affair with their mutual love interest, a golf caddy, according to the news media.

The governor of greater Tehran, Morteza Tamadon, a staunch Ahmadinejad ally, claimed Wednesday that 800 artists and academics who had visited the United States in recent years were trained to protest the election outcome.

I met one of them in Washington!  I don’t remember discussing how to protest election outcomes, or even how to statistically identify electoral fraud.  But then again, I would say that, wouldn’t I?

CNN reports that Iran has outed another party involved in this vast democratic conspiracy:  CNN!  A spokesperson for the Iranian government has more:

This is the CNN’s schedule. They officially trained the people to come and hack Iran’s government Web sites. This is the English text, I can give it to you. This is a cyber war.”

I cannot remember what I was doing last Saturday.  Perhaps I was getting drunk as a Mormon in a barrel of rum*.  Or perhaps I was actually training hackers to destablize the Iranian government and the CIA kindly implanted fake memories of $6 margaritas so that I couldn’t give up any information under torture.

*Not likely, given that I don’t drink.  If you think I can afford $6 margaritas on a writer’s salary, you must be factoring in the CIA/Mossad stipends I get every month.

Dark comedy aside, I wish the best to the people of Iran, but unfortunately protests against undemocratic regimes are rarely successful in the short term.  In the heat of the moment, the government has several major advantages, including all-but-unmatchable firepower.

Cycle 1 (1910-1939)

• The 1910s were characterized by major warfare (WWI).
• The 1920s were marked by conservative dominance and relatively little warfare (Coolidge/Hoover)
• The 1930s were marked by liberal dominance and relatively little warfare (FDR/New Deal)

Cycle 2 (1940-1969)

• The 1940s were chararacterized by major warfare (WWII)
• The 1950s were marked by conservative dominance and relatively little warfare (Eisenhower/Red Scare?)
• The 1960s were marked by liberal dominance and relatively little warfare (JFK/LBJ/Great Society.  I’m counting Vietnam as a 1970s conflict even though combat deaths peaked in 1968 and 1969.  Over 100 years, you’d spot me two, wouldn’t you?)

Cycle 3 (1970-1999)

• The 1970s were characterized by major warfare (Vietnam).
• The 1980s were characterized by conservative dominance and relatively little warfare (Reagan/Bush)
• The 1990s were marked by liberal dominance and relatively little warfare (Clinton)

Cycle 4 (2000-present)

• The 2000s were characterized by major warfare (Iraq/Afghanistan)
• The 2010s will be marked by… conservative dominance?  If that seems implausible because Obama is leading most polls now, bear in mind that it’s a contentious election in poor economic times. Whichever party wins is probably looking at a single, mostly ineffective term in the White House.

Art taken from this artist at DA.

I’ve never been a fan of the Skrulls, Marvel’s standard shape-shifting alien villains.  Sort of like an Atlantean invasion, aliens feel so far removed from the standard Marvel setting that the effect is campy rather than sinister.  It’s also extremely hard to write an interesting alien invasion plot.  Marvel seems to be treating this plotline like it’s novel, but the concept of a secret alien invasion is pretty tired (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the second Wild Cards novel, Animorphs).  “Benevolent” alien invasions aren’t much better (The Day The Earth Stood Still and maybe The Happening).

I found the ads for Secret Invasion above-average, but more because the slogan “Embrace Change” is vaguely threatening and sounds like it came from a US political campaign.

I really like the detail on the hands and I found the visual pretty good, but I think our book-cover makes better use of a human and alien hand.

]]> http://www.superheronation.com/2008/09/05/inquiring-minds-want-to-know-are-environmentalists-the-vanguard-of-an-alien-invasion/feed/ 0 http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/25/political-comedy/ http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/25/political-comedy/#comments Sun, 25 May 2008 21:46:04 +0000 J. Mallow http://www.superheronation.com/?p=796 For a tangent from our comic book offerings, J.M. presents these five questions guaranteed to tell whether you’re a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or Communist.

What does America need more of?

Democrat: Tolerance.

Republican: Free-fire zones.

Libertarian: Porn stars.

Communist: Communists.

Who do you trust most to protect your liberties?

Democrat: The state.

Republican: Bush and Cheney.

Libertarian: Smith and Wesson.

Communist: Next question.

You hear that a politician had sex with 15 interns. How do you feel?

Republican: Enraged.

Libertarian: Jealous.

Democrat: My attorney has advised me not to answer any questions.

Communist: Eh… a man of the people is still just a man.

Why do you tolerate your political enemies?

Democrat: They have the guns.

Republican: I feel bad beating up sissies.

Libertarian: I’ve got enough drugs to go around.

Communist: Because anyone can be re-educated.

How would you react if you heard that the government was reinstating the draft?

Republican: Basra or Bust!

Democrat: I wonder what Toronto’s weather is like.

Libertarian: Not too worried. I’ve got so many drug arrests I’d send draft officers running to Canada.

Communist: I hope I’m not a minesweeper.

–Agent Orange

For an explanation of the Jimmy Carter killer rabbit attack, please see here.

If you would like this bumper-sticker on your car, you can look at it here. We’re selling it for $4, of which $.45 goes to the “Save the Starving English-Major Fund.” No pressure! Five will buy us a McDonald’s fish sandwich, 15 will buy us a Chipotle burrito, and 25 will buy us a panini sandwich and a glass of orgo-soy milk. [B. Mac adds: anyone that spends $3 on a glass of milk, let alone FAKE milk, deserves to starve].

Perhaps you’ve heard the proverb that teaching a man to fish goes farther than giving him a fish sandwich. That’s true. “So how can I teach a starving English-major to feed himself, Cadet Davis?” Well… if you’re feeling especially generous and have a large vehicle (like a hummer or an aircraft carrier), I’d estimate that I’m 250,000 249,998 bumper-stickers south of an English degree. At that point, I still won’t be able to pay for my own food, but at least I’ll know how to write grant proposals.

[B. Mac adds: hey, don't forget the Starving Political-Scientist Fund! These bumper-stickers don't write themselves, you know. *winks*]

This poster is a sendup of Shepard Fairey’s campaign posters for Barack Obama.

This poster can be purchased for $10 here. (Our art may LOOK communist, but we’re not).

1. Catastrophe isn’t human. Even if we put nonhumans in his camp, Florida only has a million alligators.
2. Lash is black and, probably worse, a New Yorker that works for an organization called the “Social Justice League.” Even without using racially-tinged imagery, you wouldn’t need Lee Atwater or Karl Rove to turn that into a 45 state massacre. If John McCain survives to Election Day, maybe 49.
3. Paingod’s a supervillain. That hasn’t stopped Lex Luthor, Tempus and Savage Dragon’s nemesis from running for the White House, but it would presumably be an obstacle. (“Well, I won’t vote for a Mormon, black, or divorcee… but I guess I could give Paingod another chance”).

If you would like to see this pin at our Zazzle store, please click here.

Note: you may have noticed that this post isn’t tagged with the “National Service” category. That isn’t accidental.

Picture courtesy of Burnt Umber.

Theodore Terbolizard is running for Congress. We all are in grave danger. Lizards are pathologically dishonest, which is why they love to sell car insurance and overpriced water. And run for Congress.

But this candidate is not merely a lizard. He is, by his own confession, a Turbolizard. He will run Congress so depravedly as to make the rest of Congress look good.

Unsurprisingly, his lizard cronies have rallied to his defense. “We need more lizards in office,” says a lizard named “Sharmuta”. Or should I say Shamuta?

What does Turbolizard stand for, besides pathological deception and nefariousness? “I am opposed to the use of terrorism… since the end of World War II, the United States has continually meddled in the internal affairs of Iran, and I am opposed to this interventionist policy.” How typically lizardly. He is allegedly opposed to terrorism but opposes any action against terrorists! This is like saying “I’m OK with mammals, but mammal-killing is a fine choice, too.”

It is safe to say that a vote for Turbolizard is a vote for the turbo-genocide of mammals. I’m Agent Orange and anyone that doesn’t approve of this message is probably a lizard bent on your destruction.